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Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?26
HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?
www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969
That's it. I'm done. I'm out. Tired of a team and manager who refuse to make me feel like part of the team.
Officially started looking for a new job today.
Senior Management: We are severely disappointed in the timeliness of the two apps you built this year. You had budgeted 3 months for one and it took 4 months and the other was budgeted to take 4 months and took 5 months. We understand that we doubled the requirements halfway through and but that doesn’t take away from our need for you to deliver on time. We provided you with two extra devs on the project! We know they were novices and you had to train them from the ground up during the project, that doesn’t matter. The extra resources should have helped you but your lack of leadership ability is what caused them to hold you back. We know our other team with a budget of 6 months took 2 years on their project and was still unsuccessful but that is a different scenario! That was a pre-built 3rd party ERP plugin, way more complicated and nuanced than simply building and deploying something from scratch. Yes we’re aware your projects were the only successful tech projects at the company this year, that’s just luck and coincidence. The next app we need you to build in 6 months, no questions asked. It needs to consolidate and tie together our 3 different ERPs. Everything that we need out of these products that they don’t do out of the box we need you to wire up. We will decide the exact requirements in a month or so, for now just get started. Yes your apps changed the way we do business and allowed us to complete projects smoother than ever before while saving millions of dollars in wasteful and archaic processes that is OLD NEWS. Stop bringing it up. The successes of yesterday are the status quo of today. Don’t expect any new resources either, you clearly can’t handle them. You will now be giving status updates to 3 different managers as a corrective action to your missed deadlines in order to ensure the timeliness of future deliverables.
My boss wanted to hide the web application source code from the browser dev tools, he wanted to force the clients to use an electron portal for the application and block the access from any other browser.8
I'll point names today
Boss: Quick! The Xero integration is not working anymore!
Xero Documentation: place your client secret in the HEADERS
Me: * places client secret in headers *
Xero API: Bad Request!
*creates new client secret*
*1 hour of trying*
* places client secret in request body, not in headers *
Xero API: Ok!
UPDATE YOUR DOCUMENTATION
TELL US ABOUT IT IN THE CHANGELOGS5
Dev: This is the first version of this new app, we’re still experimenting with how it’s going to work but initial headway is looking promising. It cost very little to make, came together very quickly and is already resulting in productivity increases for users. We’re just doing a bit of code cleanup now and we’ll make a move on the next iteration.
Corporate IT: This project is being completely mishandled! In order to successfully build an app you have to determine every single requirement beforehand! It takes millions upon millions of dollars due to the complex system of governance and approval that needs to exist. Massive numbers of stakeholders need to be involved and coordinated to even make so much as a login screen! I bet your project doesn’t even have a documented list of core values.
Dev: Has you ever successfully built an app using that methodology?
Corporate IT: 😡 That’s a loaded question. I went to school to study project management and have over 25 years of experience in the field. If you had the training and experience I do you would know that tech projects are naturally very volatile and there’s nothing you can do about that!
Request from a senior backend dev in a previous company:
Talking to the team thats responsible for the auth API's is such a pain. For this new API can we just not add any auth to it? Its only going to return details about who the email address belongs too. Like name, address, date of birth, car registration etc. No one will care about that, and it will be easier for mobile to integrate right?10
This is what happens to overworked PMs.
Me: When users create accounts with social logins, they don’t have passwords in our database. If they try to enter an email and pw on the login form, what do you want the error message to say?
PM: Can we add a modal that says “Your account doesn’t have a password, set one now.” And have a password field?
Me: ☠️ That…would…allow…anyone…to…hijack…an…account…
PM: Right. Never mind.5
"Ah, we have so many projects. We want to finish all at once. Can you work 1 hour on each project every day?"
Not doing that, gtfo.12
Renaming your master branch to "main" is racist. When Git was created, there were no connotations related to slavery. Also, the word "master" has many meanings, and in the context of computer technology, "master" has nothing to do with slavery.
When I tell that to people, some of them say "but wait, you're white, so you by definition can't understand feelings of black people".
Feelings come from one's mind. Proposing the situation where I can't understand something because "only black people understand it" implies white and black people being different in their cognitive abilities, and that's fucking racism right there.
Ability to understand cultural and historical phenomena does not depend on race. Anyone who says that without a biological proof is a racist.
I find it ironic how it's microsoft who almost enforced this on GitHub while themselves supporting literal concentration camps: https://github.com/drop-ice63
My GF is a non-tech-savvy linguistics bachelor who uses elementaryOS as her only operating system on her only laptop. I'm not responsible for this, I only helped her install it instead of Windows when she asked me to do so.
She's a living proof that the stereotype of Linux being "too hard" or "exclusively for geeks" is outdated to say the least. Yes, Ubuntu and elementaryOS are not as kewl as Arch and Gentoo, but they are still better than a popular blue-colored American operating system that sends unencrypted screenshots of your desktop to some unknown IP addresses every 10 minutes.32
Guess who's updating his resume and starting a job hunt this weekend?
Fucking asshole tech teams. Literally every single person I knew since I joined has quit.
Now I know. This place is full of assholes. I take back my earlier rants where I praised this team.
Company is good but this specific team is full of toxic assholes in their tech team.16
Me: 15 years of experience in AWS, DevOps, Architecture, and Security. Current title: "Senior DevOps Manager"
Recruiter: "There are a lot of opportunities, but this one caught my eye, and I thought you'd be interested... Junior Frontend Developer"
If you want to do your job, at least do it half way well. Recruiters can suck, but most are better than that.2
HR: I’m sure you know what this meeting is about
Dev: My script that converts the name of our 3rd party IT provider in any email thread I reply to with “PooPoo Inc.”?
HR: No, that is a separate meeting