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One company i applied for never wanted to give me the job because they where building a prototype and they wanted someone familiar with their stack to get things up in a short time span.
*Fast forward 7 months*
The company i work currently with has been developing prototypes for startups to help validate their ideas and guess what, the bunch above came to our company unknowing that i work here and i have been put on the project as a lead.
Lol man, you cant write this stuff7
Was doing some work on a server today and removing loads of stuff.
rm -rf file1
Went into another directory with very important data. Wanted to do ls -la but my fingers went:
rm -rf ./
*1 milisecond later*
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
*VIGOROUSLY CHECKS FILES*
Everything still there 😅30
I just got fired for the first time. Just to preface this, I'm an 18 year old who works seasonally for a state park until I go back to college. These parks all use a software for camping reservations n whatnot. Now, I'm a bit of a fucktard at times, but I found a way of taking their entire fucking customer database of 94 million customers because they exclusively used clientside validation for their search requests & the number of records to send. Instead of just fucking exploiting it like any fucking sane person should, I opted to report it to the company. So I talk to my boss, he gives me a thumbs up, and I call them. I ring their help desk, and lead off by just requesting to speak to their immediate supervisor politely. I know plenty well that the entry level desk jockey isn't going to know what the fuck they're doing. I talk to the supervisor, tell them about the bug, and the cunt is blatantly condescending. Insisting it's a fucking feature of the software. Now here's where I fucked up. They asked me my name, and I gave them my first. They looked through users in the area and got my last. So the supervisor says he'll call me back. About an hour later they ring me, give me a number to call and a conference call pin. I ring it, and immediately it's a tribunal of four devs, a management lad, and myself. All of them having something around twenty years on my prepubescent ass. I begin by explaining what it was, how I found it, how to replicate it themselves. Never swore, never insulted them. The closest I came to it was when one of the devs kept saying that the ability to search through every customer by exploiting how their zip code search worked wasn't an issue caus you could only request a maximum of 50 records per page. To which I replied, "I don't want to be condescending or tell you how to do your job, but I just explained to you how I can retrieve more than 50 records. Basic users shouldn't be able to have access to this info." They say they have all the info they need from me and I leave the call. And that's how I lost my job. They came looking for blood. They started by ringing the states office to inform them of my insolence. State panicked, called my boss, told him I had to go. Just like that. Motherfuckers. I tried so fucking hard to do the right thing. I went out of my way to help these people, and I got fucked for it. This was my first rant worthy story, and holy fuck I'm mad. I've never been fired before. I'm a relatively ok employee. People fucking steal from this place repeatedly and they keep them. Fucks sake. I'm sitting in my car trying to get it through my head what the fuck just happened. Fuck this.38
For about the last 24 hours, there was unfortunately an issue with the algo feed where scrolling did not show more rants. This has now been fixed.
One of our background queues stopped processing for some reason which caused rants to not properly get marked as read for algo.
If you notice any other issues with this, please let me know. Thanks!11
*at my study a year or longer ago*
Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Next time I see a constructor with 22 parameters. I'm gonna report whoever wrote that to the police25
At the airport.
Security: Please put all your electronics in the bin, including your watch.
Me: No problem
<goes through scanner>
Me: there was an Apple Watch in here and now it is gone.
Security: Oh, you lost your Apple Watch?
Me: No! I put my Apple Watch in the bin like you instructed and YOU lost my Apple Watch.
Security: It must be in the spinners.
Me: So my $500 Watch is in the spinners being run over by bins?
Security: you have to put the small things on the bottom.
Me: It was on the bottom and I did as you asked, this is entirely on you. Do not try to shift the blame to me again please.
Security: As I said...
Me: As I said, Do not try to shift the blame to me again. This is entirely your responsibility once you separate me from my electronics so you can perform security theatre. Have a nice day.
Fuck this god damn security theatre. Fuck the dumbasses they hire. Fuck your country. Fuck your god damn feeling of insecurity. Fuck Your ineffective security theatre.
Sick my fucking dick until you choke and gag you worthless pieces of shit. Homeless people the street provide more security than you incompetent, under-educated assholes. Fuck you
And yes, I have 2 fucking laptops. I have a real fucking job where I provide actual value and for that I need a work laptop. I don’t come to work in a stupid looking outfit with a chip on my shoulder looking to inconvenience people. I come to work to provide real value to someone.
Fuck you and your worthless bullshit47
People who ask about something and react to your answer like "God, why are you so obsessed with it? No need to explain all that to me!" are the best.
Don't fucking ask me in the first place if you only expect an answer like those of your usual stupid friends who only talk about TV shows with you.
I hate it so much when they ask you something interesting for once and in the end, you are treated like the one who started to talk about it in the first place once they realize they are missing the knowledge to talk about it. Missing knowledge is not a reason to feel offended. Just do what everyone did to get there - ask questions and don't get shitty when you get an answer.19
My boss saw me tweaking some css via chrome devtool on a prod website.
"Oh, isnt that our html code ? So every one could see it ? You should find a way to hide it, this is not an open source project!"
Didnt even knew how to answer ._.
This not how it works ...15
Scene: Senior developer left, 3 Junior devs(including me) are now loaded with work.
*Intern asks for help*
JuniorDev1: I have 2 projects of which i'm the lead on one. I don't have time to help anyone.
JD2: 2 projects as well dude, speak to me after work, much easier then.
Me: 3 projects, lead on two. Sure how can i help you.
Took less than 5 minutes to help the intern.
2 hours Later. Check in meeting
PM: Our Junior devs are really busy and can't always help you guys. JD1 are you overloaded?
JD1: Yes, is their anyway we can split the one projects work?
PM: Sure. JD2 are you overloaded?
JD2: Not really, but i agree on splitting the projects between the three of us.
Me: *Are these fuckers serious? i have three projects, they have 2 and they wanna give me more work because they are overloaded and don't know how to manage their time*
PM: Ok cool, i'll update it. CooCooK4Choo, i see you building your own game during lunch time. You definitely not overloaded.
Me: Actually! what i do in my lunch time is my own personal work because it's the only time i have to work on personal projects. I actually do feel overloaded with the 3 projects and now more work from them, could we split the work load evenly please.
PM: I thought you said you could handle the 3 projects?
Me: I can, i have been, but with more work coming my way i don't think i'll be able to.
PM: Unfortunately i need the other Junior Devs on demand, so i won't be able to split the work load evenly.
Me: On demand for what? Why not let the interns help?
PM: In case i need their help. The interns are helping the other Junior Devs with things that don't require too much out of them.
Me: *This FUCKEN BITCH!* Cool, I'm done with the 1 project, expect the business rules at the end of the day. I'll see if i can get the other 2 near done by Friday so i can have time to look over the code of the new projects that i'll be splitting with the other Junior Devs.
PM: Cool, glad we all on the same page.
You know what? FUCK this stupid shit of favoring people in the FUCKEN work place.
This is my first full-time job ever, I've been here for a full year today and i can honestly say these people are just giant children with money. I should know, out of work i am a giant child, but from 8:00 - 16:00 i'm a FUCKEN adult.12
To all the people giving advice in my previous rant (https://devrant.com/rants/1627035/...), thanks!
I've spent a weekend running high and naked through the forest, and decided to quit my job.
Fuck PHP. Fuck Laravel. Fuck hipster startup companies. Rasmus Lerdorf, Taylor Otwell and my CEO can all go suck each other's cocks in a sloppy mess of saliva, cum and type errors.
I'm so sick of spinach smoothies and weakly typed languages. All active record ORMs are retarded, VueJS is worse than JQuery, Fatal error: Call to a member function iHatePHP() on null. WHY DOES PHP EVEN HAVE METAPROGAMMING METHODS, WHY THE FUCK DOES LARAVEL CHOOSE EASY OVER SAFE.
I'm going to use my heavily abused Macbook to surf out of this mess, on a collapsing wave of unresolved bugs.
On to the next PHP/Laravel job at a hipster startup!33
Found this quote from a really awesome person on the internet.
Can't agree more on the last sentence.15
This was at a hackathon which my study organises yearly. It's a 24 hours challenge and you've got to work in teams. It's always from 12 (noon) to 12 (noon the other day).
Another group of programmers was pulling their hair out because of their code not working, it kept crashing and they didn't see it after more than an hour (half of the team had difficulties with keeping their eyes open and it was about 3-4am so we were already programming nearly non stop for about 15-16 hours).
Walked by and offered to take a look:
"YES PLEASE FUCKING HELP"
Took a look and about two seconds later:
"oh you're missing a hashtag there *points*"
All programmers at once: MOTHERFUCKER! (or in Dutch: GODVERDOMME!) (motherfucker contextualizes the situation better imo)
I think I made their entire hackathon at that moment 😊20
Do you ever feel coding fatigue?
My dev mana has run dry, I've hit my rate limit.
That moment where your brain thinks "I should finish building this React project, it's good for my portfolio" or "I should really work on fixing this query performance issue, I already know what the problem is" — but your stomach churns at the thought of having to interpret even a single line of code?
The last few days it really does feel like a physical illness, a nauseated feeling whenever I open an IDE. I have written about 12 lines of code since Monday.
It goes beyond writer's block, it's not a lack of focus or inspiration, it's a big knot in my head of everything that's wrong and inconsistent in development, and it causes feelings of dread, desperation and revulsion when trying to wrap my head around the simplest stuff.
Does anyone have good tips to overcome this feeling, something faster and less savings-account-destroying than "take a sabbatical year and travel the world riding an emu"? (seems tempting though)61