Finished Napoleon Cat!

What kind of music are you listening to while coding?
Is it instrumental or lyrical?

Sometimes songs with lyrics districts me

i ain't gonna build a tetris game for a code test for a job that might force me to work in the office. fuck that shit. code tests are a retarded way of assessing candidates.

time traveler: *steps on a bug*
changes to our world:
- C has python syntax based on indentation and has no curly braces
- mario has fall damage
- tetris is called triris and uses blocks of three squares rather than four
- the word "disk" doesn't exist, everything is "disc"
- every device uses a new version of mSATA instead of usb type c
- screens are 3:2 instead of 16:9
- javascript name wasn't adopted, the language was called lifescript instead, as originally intended. because of it, it didn't secure funding when it most needed it, so it never caught on. instead, microsoft bought macromedia, and every site is written with Microsoft Flash. CSS has XML syntax.
- steve jobs didn't rely on alternative medicine, so he succesfully beat cancer. because of him, every phone has the size of iPhone 4s, but bezels are tiny. everything that's bigger is called phablet, and big phones are not a thing. instead, web is "smaller" in size, every ui is more compact.
- wimax caught on and won the 4g war. 5g is called wimax 2.0.
- microsoft had more time to complete vista, and hardware manufacturers had more time to make faster chips. when vista came out, it wasn't buggy and was very fast. it acquired cult status like xp. because of it, windows 8 still had frutiger aero design.

A day in my life. This morning Dell was doing it's update on my laptop before I left for work, so later when I knew my wife was up I asked her via text to shut my laptop off.

W: "You left your laptop on this morning."
Me: "I know, it was still doing an update this morning. I sent you a text."
W: "Leaving your computer on all day is going to burn it up."
Me: "Its 8:30, been maybe a half hour isn't a day."
W: "Still wasting electricity. How do I turn this thing off?"
Me: "It's just like yours."
W: "No, your computer is way different than mine. Just tell me how to turn it off"
Me: "My computer is running Windows 11, yours is Windows 10, shutting down is exactly the same"
W: "I don't understand, yours looks completely different. Stop being an ass and just tell me"
Me: "Select Start, then shut down"
W: "Select what? There isn't anything that says Start"
Me: "Sorry, click the little icon in the bottom left. Looks like four little blue squares. That's the Windows Start menu button, just like yours."
W: "OK, now what?"
Me: "Shut down"
W: "Shut down what? I don't see anything"
Me: "The icon that looks like power button next to my name"
W: "There is nothing next to your name except your picture"
Me: "It'll be on the right hand side"
W: "Where the clock is?"
Me: "No, on the Start menu, where you see my picture, there should be a button to turn it off."
W: "No, it went away"
Me: "What do you mean went away?"
W: "All that disappeared when you told me to click over by the clock."
Me: "I didn't say to click on the clock, anyway, doesn't matter. Start over, select the icon in the bottom left"
W: "You're not listening. There is nothing there when I click that. You're such as ass. You cannot even tell me how to turn off this stupid computer. I'm busy, you can turn this thing off when you get home."
<a few minutes later I text my daughter>
Me: "Baby girl, can you turn off my computer?"
<10 seconds later>
H: "Done. Anything else?"
Me: "Nope. Thank you."

If you see a toilet in your dream, do not,

I repeat,

DO NOT use it.

I have almost 8 years of experience, am currently a tech lead in the company im at (a big known music and video streaming platform), i live and breathe tech...

and someone i interviewed for (in a 4 year old fintech startup) wants to put me in a mid level position because he "felt i lacked depth". apart from his feelings he failed to make me understand how I'm not senior enough for him.

so how do i become deep? what is this depth he speaks of?

I just had a post-shower thought… If you went even just one year into the past and openly told your boss that you used an AI tool to write user stories, documentation, or code, you would've been scolded for skirting your responsibilities or "cheating." Some companies even had strict policies against using AI, and some still do.

Fast forward to today: if you tell your boss you used an AI tool, you're praised for efficiency and streamlining your workflow.

Just an interesting dichotomy between the two mindsets, and such a quick switchover.too. Even the stuffiest "non-tech" companies are openly encouraging the use of AI in your day-to-day nowadays, whether it be for writing code building presentations. As long as the work is good, they pat you on the back.

As somebody who likes automating stuff, I love to see it. But as a future slave to our future robot overlords, there still needs to be a place for us flesh bags.

There is nothing easier than running an insurance company in the US of A. When a big request comes in from a client in distress that got into a terrible accident that is definitely covered by their (very expensive) plan, you just go to the data bank like Equifax and see if they're still rich enough to win a lawsuit against you should you refuse to pay.

For those of you who don't know what a data bank is: data banks are companies that buy/scrape/suck in every last bit of data they can about every person in the country, and then resell it through their fancy UI with all the convenient features and metrics.

So, Umbrella Insurance Co. goes to Equifax and asks whether Joe Schmoe's accident is severe and life-ruining enough that they won't be able to sue us. Exuifax says: let's see... Joe's Revolut©™ account has the grand total of $80.12, with $7,382.25 recently spent on medical bills. Joe's WhatsApp©™ (a Meta©™ company) classifies their recent messages as "desperate". Joe's iPhone©™ Screen Time©™ is increased, and Joe is doomscrolling a lot, especially on The Washington Post©™ (a Jeff Bezos company). All signs show that if you don't pay them, they won't be able to out-sue you. That would be $0.12, thanks!

As a person who is no one in particular that may or may not have been a US of A's supreme court judge once said, "sometimes it's not about justice, but about making the sucker spend all their money".

Dark Humor

Lets try some seriously dark dark humor. Lets find what lurks in the hearts of men.

My Kid: I was adopted.
Me: We wouldn't have picked you.

Oedipus: <whilst banging his wife> You remind me of my mom.

What do you call Rock Hudson in a wheelchair?
Rollaids

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before the launch?
You feed the dog, I will feed the fish.

Some I found from searching web:

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in 2 dumpsters.

If we had mosquito nets in Africa we could save millions of mosquitos from getting AIDS.

Down syndrome in military is called special forces.

Mom told me to eat my vegetables, now where do I put the wheelchairs.

Whoever thought white men can't jump obviously never watched the 9/11 footage.

Trying to get flex container overflow to scroll is like funking pulling teeth. I've worked with flex containers for 5+ years straight and it still makes me want to kill myself.

Here's the tools you need to make a flex container scroll. God help you if it's nested more than 2-3 containers from the root. You apply these randomly until you see the scroll bar in the correct place.

min-height: 0px;
min-height: min-content;
overflow: auto;
overflow: hidden;
display: flex;
flex: 1;

(Real pro tip: you can place a "dummy" element inside the container you wish to make scroll. The dummy element should be a huge size, like 10k pixels. This allows you to see what containers up the DOM tree are still not correct (any container that is 10,000px is WRONG. Work your way down the DOM tree and fix fix fix))

These github assholes really shat the fan when selling out to M$. I'm trying to access an open source project. I can't. Apparently I'm IP banned. I never go there beside to download software once in a while.

Motherfuckers.

Getting your wisdom teeth out is no joke.

I feel like I ate a half a bowl of Captain Crunch.

We have a bug.

I fixed it, then I said it was a super tricky bug, a race condition in the library code, and that I had to put on an issue and wait for their answer.

Boom, day off.

God I'm a genius.

How is MSSQL so popular? "Oh yeah, sometimes you have to use dynamic SQL because the compiler doesn't correctly detect the impact of DDL commands and rejects working code" god fucking what? Why does the compiler infer the future structure of tables after a DDL command if it can't do so reliably? In my world, if it becomes public knowledge that a compiler incorrectly infers something, the maintainer scrambles to remove the inference instead.

I also find it surreal that I have to disengage versioning on a table in order to be able to modify the version history. Like surely, there should be a mechanism to temporarily skip the hooks other than ALTERing the table into a regular unversioned database table and then ALTERing it back, rebuilding the versioning infrastructure from scratch. SQL is awful and MSSQL is doubly awful.

I don’t know anything about politics or money

Team 'leads' who consistently introduce scope creep are so fucking annoying. How can they get the basics of project management wrong? It leads to more, constant, work stress ("why didn't you finish this on time?" Well maybe because you keep reviewing PR's last minute and instead of sticking to requirements, you ad-hoc make me 'fix' things that weren't even there).

Remember kids, if you can’t into C, you suck. But if you can’t into CSS, CSS sucks.

I opened facebook (don't ask why), and found a reel that's older people humor, and felt like commenting on it.

My days are numbered, aren't they?

I'm developing a board game and it’s so much fun to come up with structures and logic to implement the rules of the game and make it in a way that is clever and doesn’t require a lot of repetition and explicit definitions which would increase the probability to introduce bugs and make future changes tedious.

This is what I love about programming. The pure joy of thinking about those problems and solving them.
I'd never want to delegate this task to an AI even if I'd be convinced that it would do a good job.