My boss just revised my report and sent it back with new file names. Memes have officially infiltrated the workplace.

Where to get help on fixing a bug:
1.Google
2.Stack Overflow
.
.
.
8479.Your coworker who is coding with his earphones on.

My new (DIY) desktop/wordspace.

My workplace is relatively safe in case of a zombie apocalypse: no brains

First day at my first workplace as a dev. waiting for my laptop to load up, nothing happens, black screen. waiting sitting patiently and silently for approx. 20 minutes.

the monitor was off.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the Wi-Fi at my workplace

Don't get too comfortable.

If your workplace isn't much of a learning environment, it's either time to learn on your own time or leave that workplace.

Don't be arrogant with those who are less tech savy. If your boss/cowoker doesn't understand, at least give them them a chance ☺.

Be kind to new developers who make mistakes; you were in their shoes once.

Realize there's more to life than just designing and implementing software. Don't let other areas of your life suffer just because you're a godly developer.

Today we were all called into a meeting and the CEO was livid. He went on a rage about how the CTO was wasting money on useless shit (GitHub Enterprise). He said I bought laptops for a reason if there’s a fire someone better protect our assets and code. He wouldn’t reason with us and went into github and deleted everything. The CTO was fired and no one is leading our team. Wondering if I should quit 😶

When your workplace has a 3d Printer.
The raptor army grows, harhar.

toxic workplace; leaving

I haven't wanted to write this rant. I haven't even wanted to talk to anyone (save my gf, ofc). I've just been silently fuming.

I wrote a much longer rant going into far too much detail, but none of that is relevant, so I deleted it and wrote this shorter (believe it or not) version instead. And then added in more details because details.

------

On Tuesday, as every Tuesday, I had a conference call with the rest of the company. For various, mostly stupid reasons, the boss yelled at and insulted me for twenty minutes straight in front of everyone, telling me how i'm disorganized, forgetful, how can't manage my time, can't manage myself let alone others, how I don't have my priorities straight, etc. He told the sales team to get off the call, and then proceeded to yell and chew at me for another twenty minutes in front of the frontend contractor about basically the same things. The call was 53 minutes, and he spent 40 minutes of it telling me how terrible I've been. No exaggeration, no spin. The issues? I didn't respond to an email (it got lost in my ever-filling inbox), and I didn't push a very minor update last week (untested and straight to prod, ofc). (Side note: he's yelled at me for ~15 minutes before for being horribly disorganized and unable to keep up on Trello -- because I had a single card in the wrong column. One card, out of 60+ over two boards. Never mind that most have time estimates, project tags, details, linked to cards on his boards, columns for project/qa/released, labels for deferred, released to / rejected from qa, finished, in production, are ordered by priority, .... Yep. I'm totes disorganized.)

Anyway, I spent most of conference call writing "Go fuck yourself," "Choke on a cat and die asshole," "Shit code, low pay, and broken promises. what a prize position," etc. or flipping him off under the camera on our conference-turn-video-call (switched due to connection issues, because ofc video is more stable than audio-only in his mind).

I'm just.
so, so done.

I did nothing the rest of the day on Tuesday, and basically just played games on Wednesday. I did one small ticket -- a cert replacement since that was to expire the next day -- but the rest was just playing CrossCode. (fun game, fyi; totally recommend.)

Today? It's 3:30pm and I can't be bothered to do anything. I have an "urgent" project to finish by Monday, literally "to give [random third party sales guy] a small win". Total actual wording. I was to drop all other tasks (even the expiring cert lol) and give this guy his small win. fucking whatever. But the project deals with decent code -- it's a minor extension to the first project I did for the company (see my much earlier rants), back when I was actually applying myself and learning something (everything) new, enjoying myself, and architecting+writing my own code. So I might actually do the project, but It's been two days and I haven't even opened single file yet.

But yeah. This place is total and complete shit. Dealing with the asshole reminds me of dealing with my parents while growing up, and that's a subject I don't want to broach -- far too many toxic memories.

So, I'm quitting as soon as I find something new.
and with luck, this will be before assface hires my replacement-to-be, and who will hopefully quit as soon as s/he sees the abysmal codebase. With even more luck, the asshole king himself will get to watch his company die due to horrible mismanagement. (though ofc he'll never attribute it to himself. whatever.)

I just never want to see or think about him again.
(nor this fetid landfill of a codebase. bleh.)

With luck, this will be one of my last rants about this toxic waste dump and its king of the pile.
Fourty fucking minutes, what the fuck.

The IT Throne 💻😂😂

My set up at work.
For this post I want to thank Microsoft for providing me some free time

I thought I was really good at debugging. Then I met this legend in my workplace. And he was like...

So I had a job interview and got offered the job on the spot, then I went back to my manager at my current workplace to raise an issue about me being underpaid for this months wages and this is how the conversation went.

Enjoy.

It was great to see Gitlab not only being transparent, but also being so empathetic towards the employee and not bashing them at all. Instead they said the more things you do the more mistakes you make. And the system/process should have contingency so that human mistakes have some tolerance margins.

That is a great workplace!

I gor a problem with my gf, and she asked for space, then i got a new problem in my workplace, i want to kill my boss and my senior mothercuker! FUCK THIS!!!

🤣🤣🤣
Somehow, my boss got his son, 19, working in a team of developers last week.
Son: i got ton of money and i dont need to do this. i inherit lot of properties from my dad.(trying to sound funny, superior, and boasting of his inheritance knowledge he might have learned in school during java class probably.)

A guy in the team: No you dont. You are like us.😎😎😎
Son: minds his own business now.

Damn that line made my day.
🤗👏👏👏👏

++ for this dude for insulting morons like this at work.
I may have to remove it on boss request if he see it. But for now hit as many ++ to show that idiot no body likes people like him.

Dare you speak the Truth!

Too much noise in my workplace, can't focus on my code,
bought 300 bucks noise cancelling headphones,
best money i've spent

Okay so my co-workers explains why they give me the title "GitHub Maid":

Basically most of the time the engineering didn't have the time to scroll through issues, and that includes me, so a lot of this stuff does not get triaged properly when reported. When I stumbled on the tracker, I knew I had to do something, so I sorted and sorted and managed the tickets by my own.

So being a "GitHub Maid" is not something to be embarrassed about after all, in fact, I think the dev team owed me a lot because the issue tracker is more organized, and the issues are getting triaged and assigned properly now compared before.

So if they call you like something similar, be proud of it because some developers wouldn't even bother to tidy up issue tracking.

When you can't work because the company forgot to renew your Visual Studio license.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5

*2 weeks later*

Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!

*2 weeks later*

Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...

*put product online*

*2 days later*

Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...

Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...

Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!

Every manager, if you tell them that we need to upgrade our workplace outdated (anything)

The way how cables are laid in my workplace... \(°Ω°)/

!!politics

My employer held a company wide zoom meeting today. It was officially optional, but like 90% of the company attended.

It started out interesting as they had invited a speaker, but it quickly degraded into a gigantic political circlejerk. It was an hour and a half of bashing everyone who doesn’t hold exactly their views, calling them evil, calling them nazis, radicals, militants, racists, etc. — and I don’t share their views, like, at all, so. That really lets me know how they feel!

As far as I can tell, everyone else at the company has the same ideology. Not only does this make me incredibly uncomfortable and require me to act and pretend at all times, it’s honestly kind of infuriating, too. The amount of insults they throw around and blatant lack of tolerance displayed by these “tolerant” people is just incredible.

To them, anyone that doesn’t hold exactly their beliefs is evil, and often a slew of other things, too. And it doesn’t seem to matter how far removed those views are; apparently libertarians are evil as well? Apparently “leave everyone alone” is evil and gets you branded as a militant far-righty? Like, how does that even work? They ascribe to “everyone who doesn’t agree with me is literally Hitler,” I guess.

Fucking hell I can’t stand these people and their politics. And when they all get going on it together? Just. Fucking toxic.

I’ve been so disgusted today after sitting in on that meeting I’ve gotten practically nothing done. And I was so hoping to finally finish this stupid ticket.

Oh, and Mr. PM wants that screwdriver to do even more things now — by next week, of course. Fucking hell.

Why did I switch jobs, again?
Right, to get away from the politics.
Fucking hell.

1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace

Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'

In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.

From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.

Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'

Post your workplace!

!Rant

6 mins of walk to my new workplace.
😁

From r/linuxmasterrace (u/KeithKatar)

How many times has this conversation happened at your workplace?

How am I supposed to work like this?

Yes i did👍

New workplace setup

My new workplace

Just learned that my previous workplace hired someone to take over the frontend which was my first big javascript project, and now I have an odd fear for my life.

To my coworker who gets notifications 5 times a minute:

PUT YOUR F**KING PHONE ON SILENT, YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

Jeeze, it's like some people have ZERO workplace etiquette 😡😡😡

Working with php👌

My colleagues are real jokers

Ok, do you sometimes feel like you get treated as search engine? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

My coworker from my previous workplace is messaging me to suggest about good tutorial about a framework that I'm not familiar about.

"Dude, have you heard about Google?"

My family hosts an 100 mile (160km) run once every year for ultra-runners. 11 hours in the first runner has done 105 km. And I'm sitting at this checkpoint logging their times and working on a project. But rain started pouring down and this not so waterproof tent has just become the worst developing workplace I have ever been in because the umbrella ain't big enough for me and the laptop. So I'm soaked and won't be relieved for another 8 hours. The things you do for family.

My wife brought an old and filthy keyboard from her workplace.

This guy is asking the 'real questions'.

Somehow wk37: At my workplace you get "caked" if you don't lock your computer. Which actually means that its very likely that someone will write in company wide chat that you will bring cake tomorrow. :)

Received my new mechanical keyboard from Amazon today. It feels so much better than our standard company Dell keyboard. And it looks so great. Also it has nice LEDs with several modes. Love it

I can finally post a picture of my setup because I finally have one now 😂🎉

At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...

what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)

One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.

Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.

Guess what happend next...

I'm on a 17 hour security monitor shift. Sup devRant.

Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)

at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up

I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?

So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.

The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.

Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.

New workplace new setup

Just a 60 year old teachers desk and some awesome screens....MacBook pro with 3 external for work with a gaming rig when 5.30 rolls around....

I hate the fucking fakeness at my corporate workplace. Everybody's kissing everybody's ass. What' worse is that individually, they're nice people but the environment changed them and they don't even notice it.
Also they fucking congratulate themselves for their fucking great work but all they did is basically a big crud app. We're all just a bunch of code monkeys. I'm so getting out of there.

When your workplace blocks GitHub.com... T.T

So, there is this guy whose arguments on "How Apple is bad" are

1) "while copying files in Finder, you don't see a speed graph (like in Windows)"
2) "MacBooks don't have a Touchscreen"
3) "it's slow"
4) "you can't play games (like GTA V)"
5) "having app menus always on the top of the screen instead of in every window makes no sense"

Arguments on "why Linux is bad":

1) "it's ugly"
2) no gaming (same as point 4 above)
3)... And other biased irrelevant shit

Yet his amazing old Windows 10 computer with the most recent Insider build has only a 65% chance of booting on the first attempt. Almost nothing works properly on his hardware yet he always blames something unrelated to him.
Recently I was having trouble with the workplace wifi (for few minutes I wasn't having full speed like he on the other side of the room had), and his reaction "aha, it's your macOS, never working".

Like wtf. I don't hate Windows or I don't love Linux, but I night hate him for being an arrogant cunt and I want to punch his face.

Do you guys know the feeling you get, when you have to explain your work to a non programmer? An example could be your boss.

It's not always that easy.

Work is a lot like an escape room. you're stuck in a place and have to solve riddles.

Beware of office politics. Take it from me. Beware whom you trust in the workplace. Sometimes you won't detect it and they will prey on your innocence. You thought they're good but really is not. Back stabbers.

Show me your coffee cup. This is mine.

How come everyone has so many cool setups at their workplace and I have a fucking 4 year old laptop that hangs thrice everyday.. FML 😕

Irony is when I just interviewed a person in my current workplace right after giving an interview for a new job in another place

A couple years ago my now ex-colleagues pranked the lead dev for being nitpicky about the importance of the story post-it wall in the agile process.
His desk was like this the next morning.
Needless to say, he was pissed and we had a good laugh :D

Breakdown of a casual work day:

50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?

Him : Your tea is cold

Me : if the tea/coffe is full and cold ... developer is working hard.

Manager : well said ha ha ha 😅

I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.

On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.

Yup.

When coding at work is too intense to return the coffee mugs. One more to complete the triangle and call to our the coffee gods.

What do I do at workplace on Sunday?

Well, I learn. Learn!

If you want to talk about politics or religion at work, then you can expect a lot of disinterested nods and “sure”s from me before I leave the room.

I don’t care about your invisible man in the sky, I am here to do work. In fact, your invisible man in the sky can choke on my dick for all I care.

I don’t want to talk about to political cult. I’m here to work. Keep your sheep mentality to yourself.

I’m here to build fucking software, not to take on your insecurities and character flaws.

My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.

My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.

!quiteRant

Since I'm working for 3 years as a parttime software engineer, I started to feel my tendon sheath more and more, sometimes it was hurting so I decided to have a look around on ergonomic keyboards, because in the office we only have these flat, thin wireless keyboards which are the fucking opposite of ergonomic.
They feel like when Eddie Scissorhands has to cut hair of a pile of rocks.
So after some reviews I decided to buy a Kinesis Advantage2 (made in the USA of Americas) eventhough it is quite expensive (379 Kanuckistan Kopeks).

I must say this keyboard is fucking well engineered. You can remap every key in a few keypresses and it is stored on the keyboard itself, no software required... awesome!
The disadvantage for me is, being pretty tall I have very wide shoulders so the 2 keyboard pits are a bit too close together in my oppinion.
The other thing is, you really have to get used to it... I am slowly advancing in speed and it feels great. No pain anymore and I don't have to move my hands at all.

So what are your experiences with keyboards and does your workplace have a good setup for staying healthy?

I unfriended every person at work on my Facebook except 2. I don’t know how I let my social media become so open to folks I work with. 😒

Bye Bye Buguntu, Hello Budgie Buguntu...

Been a while since I've posted, so I might as well look into getting active again, so hello old friends and the new guys :)

Ever since finishing my bachelors, I've been mostly working frontend with React and Jest testing. Might as well throw in my workplace.

I love to work in pubs/bars, this special kind of noisy environment works so well for me. I even go "into the zone".

Lets talk about this. Is anyone else the same? Just curious.

These are my 6 reasons:

0) Beer. 🍺
1) None of the activity in a bar actually interests to me, if you know what I mean. In my house, every single noise/movement will get my attention.
2) After some time all the noise blends into a kind of "homogeneous hearing blurb". Like a mantra. Maybe there are even white/pink/brown noise benefits (guess).
3) I go to places where I enjoy the music and atmosphere.
4) I like bars and pubs anyways. I feel good in these places.
5) Beer. 🍺

When your school/workplace has got internet:
Lan: 100mb/sec
Wlan: 25 kb/sec

I am one of those individuals who can't understand a word someone is saying to me if there is any loud background noise - e.g. other people talking near me. That frustrated me so much in the past, nowadays I just say loudly and politely I can't understand a damn word because someone near me is talking a bit too loudly.

The CEO of my last workplace asked an employee for his credit card; withdraw significant amount of money as a debt and never paid back. He already owes 2+ months of salary to that employee.

(He owed me money too but I never gave my Macbook back. 🖕)

This is an old friend of mine, who recently joined the company I work with, 6 months back. And this is what he pinged me with yesterday.

This should be considered harassment at workplace, and trigger social, psychological, emotional, physical and all other sort of distancing.

I just replaced 180 lines of Python with 5 lines. I want to smack the author but that would be workplace violence. Funny how if you import some built in libraries you don't have to basically write it's entire functionality and can just use it. I am so ready for this week to be over.

Anyone else working from home today? Love that my current workplace has this option.

My previous workplace would have laughed in your face if you even suggested of working at home! Only our bosses were allowed to work from home (surprise surprise?)

Full HD 27' monitor 😍😍😍 when you can divide your screen into two halves easily and there's no need to do Alt+tab

That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!

Anyone else here thing their head would explode if they knew something like this at their workplace?

At my workplace we have a code word for users. ID10T.

"I understand you want to write your own code. But that's not professional. If you have reusable tested code just copy and paste it in your project"

I thought he was joking. But I am realising it's the most valuable advice in jy workplace

Just had a company meeting. Basicly the company blamed all devs that they are losing money. Is it normal? It's my first workplace so I simply don't know. It felt bad, they low key threatened to firing lowest performing people. And said they will look at everyone's performance individually and eveluate if they are earning money from each person.

Coworker bugs me by telling her dog stories, now I hate dogs.

I thought my project's colleague were different from everyone else. I was wrong. Just another sheep like all the others. Last week he took credit for my work. And I think he even believed in what he was saying. He was talking to our supervisor saying he solved the error, all happy, but it was me...
Two weeks ago we went on a night out and, drunk, he said that one of the supervisors asked him if he wants to go to team leader, become a senior. He knows 10% of what I know! I'm always helping him and I will not continue doing his work!
Should I find another job?
I told my supervisor and the director I was going to stay, but I don't think I want to, if they put him as a senior while I am a junior.

When the manager is a creep!!

College student here.
What are the most important skills/assets one should bring to the workplace? As a developer and a colleague.

In the meeting where I gave my notice period, the manager told me I won't find another company that doesn't make you do "donkey work" like us.

Currently hee-hawing from work.

When you trying to psych yourself up before your next code review. 🤣

hmm I just slip into a depressive phase because of my workplace 😐 I can't handle the pressure somehow.. I think I am a bad teamlead, I am not made for this

Just 4 days in at my first job after recently graduating and I already love my workplace. Everyone in the office is so lively and giggly that you'll hear good jokes and genuine laughs thrown around the place EVERYDAY. People are so friendly and outgoing that I just realised I had made so many friends in a short time despite my introvertedness. To scale; you probably heard or experienced yourself that Filipino communities are generally super friendly and possitive. Well as a Filipino, I can attest that this is on a whole other level.

Damn. Too bad I can't remember all their names tho. 😂

Then there are a ton of perks like free food, gym, etc. And then I met this attractive and fun girl my age who I think and hope is into me, idk. We hang out with her 2 other friends, all four of us being relatively new at the company, separated by a month or so.

This is the best experience I had in such a long time and I'm super excited to see where this leads to.

The person who I was closest to in the workplace is leaving and everyone else is a "professional employee" and they make "work safe jokes" that deserves "polite laughter" now everyone looses their shit if I let out the f word. I guess I will have my next free conversation with the goldfish.

A bit of backstory...

I have been the sole dev at my organization for awhile now (other two left for other jobs), so I have been maintaing and writing new code to support the business.

Our company was recently acquired by a larger entity and it has been very strange so far.

1. It has taken 5 weeks to acquire local admin rights on my own machine (I work remote) as well as a visual studio license.

2. We have known for a few weeks now we are getting a jr dev who will need the SAME procedures done on his machine/account and it has been two weeks now and nothing has been done. (Tickets have been put it - the issues have been escalated etc etc)

3. All of our code from our old company is in Azure Devops (which is connected to Azure AD) for some reason I haven't been able to add an external account (for my new account and org) to move the code elsewhere. I don't have the authority (I don't think) to place all of our code in a new location (GitHub,GitLab, self hosted solutions, etc)

4. All of our production VMs are billed through our old org located in Azure, so eventually that bill will stop being paid since we transitioned - I've brought this up to my manager (more non technical) who wasn't terribly worried about it.

5. I'm feeling slightly unfulfilled in this position. Earlier in my time here it was new and exciting, but there isn't much direction, not many goals, or interesting problems to solve.

Just wanted to express some issues that had been going on. Feel free to add ant feedback of suggestions 😄

He took everything home that he took from home to create a workplace form himself... man the office was empty when he was done...

Our management pushes very hard to move most company communications to Facebook Workplace and I'm proud to say that after almost 2 years and with less than a month left here I still haven't made an account. I didn't fucking detox myself from social media to deal with this bullshit at work so that these greedy morons can pretend we're a 'communituh'.

So what do you do if your workplace is just a sinkhole but its one of the highest paying sinkholes?

Today I found this jewel in a PR of a respected dev of my workplace:
if(conditions)
{
return true;
}
else
{
return false;
}

So, I wasn't invited to the caffeine-and-sugar-back-patting orgy (4+ hour meeting, I kid you not), despite the fact I've poured a shitastical amount of time and energy into the stuff they were talking about, and I actually accomplished a lot of useful stuff too (not that they would know, most (including the boss) have shown little to no interest)...

Telling it like it is, which I did at previous occasions, would probably have ruined all the positive energy.

Oh, am I glad I'm quitting (I got a new, better job at a company that seems to know what they're doing).

Doing dev work in Belgium in an office without air conditioning and a
room temperature of 38°C (100F).. just impossible to focus.. in the car I almost burnt my fingers using the steering wheel and gear stick. Some of you guys have had similar experiences (temp? Location?), for me it's a first..

Current mood:
That irksome moment when you want to rant and vent about a particular workplace incident but wonder if your coworkers are on devrant too.
And they certainly might figure out no matter how cryptic you are.
*puts mask back on*

Not a dev related rant but more of a workplace rant.

I work in a business center with around 30 small offices. We share the common areas like kitchen, meeting rooms and bathroom.

Today, the cleaning lady told me to use the bathroom on the other side of the workplace because she spread bleach all over the men's restrooms floor.

The reason? Someone peed completely outside the toilet. I understand men can miss a couple of drops but a complete load? It's not the first time it has happened but I can only think he enjoys doing it.

I wish I had my own bathroom...

Workplace bullying.

Today is a great day! From now, I am using Windows only for games and at my workplace. For everything else, Debian.

I was bored at my workplace and thought to put curl code to GET a random dad joke on opening terminal everytime

Fuck, now I'm having a migraine

but i have an idea to expand this project even more

At a workplace I was attached to, a colleague of mine taught and still teaches Actionscript 2/3.

She rambles about how coding is important to a modern career, while teaching students how to animate a circle. Management can't fire her because of a poorly drafted contract.

Worst of all, she refuses to update her skillset.

There is nothing worse than a toxic workplace, it sucks the life out of you and the people around you. Fuck the rat race man.

Code review?......... what's that?

Joke apart, We literally don't do that in my workplace, only few people care about code quality and what they are pushing to production

Our workplace has so many... But perhaps was this useless guy who claimed to be a member of Mensa, who would wear no shoes into the bathroom, place his lunch beneath the urinal when he peed, prop himself up by leaning on the urinal, and top it off by not washing his hands.

🤢

The Sys Admin limited everyone's access on an application through the admin panel. He forgot I have access to the database and I now have full access 😂

Project manager ending argument with "it's because we have a shit culture"

I didn't get jealous that 3 of my uni friends are working at the same company but I'm extremely jealous over that 1 uni friend who's company uses Linux for their desktop by default. This is acceptable, right? Right???

TL;DR: What's cool about your company or what you'd like to have in your company?

I work at a small company (<50 employee) but it has some time around (I'd say almost 20 years or so).

The thing is, the boss here is cheap or inattentive or outdated or all previous options. This translates into a company stuck in the 90's management ways. Well, maybe late 90's.

So we don't have a lot of 'cool' or nice things here; and I've been thinking of coming up with a proposal of a progressive update of some things that gives us (the employees) some sort of identity.

For example, I think that small things like personalized notebooks or post-its or t-shirts give the employees some sort of sense of belonging. We don't have any of that. The only thing we have are business cards and I find them completely useless since I don't visit customers and all my communication with them is via email.

One thing I find very cool is when one employee starts in a company, in their first day they get a 'welcome kit' (example picture): notebook, pen, cup, t-shirt... It may look like stupid shit but it's way better and more motivating than the "Sit here and that's it" welcome I got when I started here.

So I wanna do a proposal of this sort of things that we can adopt, and I wanna know what do you find cool in your company or what would you like your company did so you'd feel more confortable or 'proud' (maybe that's not the word) of working there.

Question: Do you guys use your own laptop for development or the ones provided at your workplace.

The fact that my boss knows I'm on devRant means, that I can't rant about anything, that can be linked to my workplace or current assignments.

I have no problems if you share the same IQ as a 10 year old.. just not in the workplace.

If I had the same level of dedication as my workplace for my personal projects, oh boiii would I be a millionaire!

Question for everyone that has a job:

Does your workplace have a dress code? If so, what's required?

Why do people eat at their work desk? This fuckety fuck is putting her sticky spoon in her mouth with some pungent shit in it. And its fucking my nose up.

They also make their workplace dirty with bits all around. You have a cafeteria for fucks sake. Get your lazy ass up there and eat.

Every time there is a problem with API, the other team ALWAYS send sample request as image. I don't know if they are just mean or stupid.

Workplace requires formal dress code. In Italy, in July, with up to 30C (90F) outside. And August is going to be worse.
I have to take a train + walk 10 minutes to get there. And I sweat, like, a lot. I frigging DRIP. It gets embarrassing, and I think I was close to passing out a couple of times in the last few days.
I really don't know how to mitigate the damage. Suggestions?

Tried pomedoro technique copule of time found that this doesn't work for mE. The only things worked is
1) do 4 hours straight
2) take 1 hour break
3) do another 4 hour straight
works much wetter

How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?

I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.

If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.

My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.

There's always one asshole in the workplace that wants to make everyones life so much harder with shitty stupid reasons.

Being attacked in the workplace politically. Makes for a nice work environment.

Last monday I started using a mechanical keyboard at my workplace and now the ones who are in my same room probably want to kill me...! 😉

rate my place 1-10

People come to me they ask:
How to hack !!!.
I tell myself what the hack

IMAO, a new programming language/technology is like a new cute girl at your school/workplace. We give it a lot of attention and tend to ignore older programming languages/technologies

This is long rant/story:

My manager conducts sync-up meetings regularly. The idea is to sync up all developers on current state of work. He does’t conduct stand-ups. He doesn't have time for it. He rather discusses on individual basis if we are blocked. The rule of the sync-up meeting is NOT to discuss any blockers or problems but simply explain each other what we are doing and how we plan next.

Sometime ago, the manager brought up and explained a new way of working in the sync-up meeting. At this point, a new developer in the team was absent due to sickness.

Today, there was a sync-up meeting and the manager started to question the new member about the newly introduced way of working. He was unaware of it and the manager never communicated this important information via email or any mode of communication available.

So, the conversation goes on as follows:

"Manager": — "Why didn’t you complete your task as per the new way of working?"
"Employee": — "Well, I've no idea. Am I supposed to do? I’ve been working as usual like any other"

"Manager": — "We have a new process and you have failed to follow it, so we’re late in delivering your work"
"Employee": — "I’ve already finished my work on time. I've raised a pull-request this morning"

"Manager": — "It doesn’t matter, it is not merged to main branch and so we can’t include your work in the release"
"Employee": — "I’ve no idea about the new process"

"Manager": — "Haven’t you asked around about what happened from previous meeting"
"Employee": — "Yes, I have. I was told which tasks were handled, but nothing about a new process"

"Manager": — "Aren’t you interested to learn it?"
"Employee": — "Why won’t I be interested? I was on a sick leave and I have no clue what happened here"

"Manager": — "What’s happened is past now, let’s not focus on it"
"Employee": — <Dumbfounded>
The Employee felt ashamed in front of everyone. He did his job but it didn’t pay off.

…. After an hour … the Employee had a talk with the Manager

"Employee": — "You shouldn’t have pointed me out in front of everyone. It made me feel real bad. You should have emailed this information if its important for the team."
"Manager": — "I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I say so? I think you’ve a bright future in the team. You should be focusing on doing better things."

Employee goes back to work. A minute later, the Manager sends a PowerPoint screenshot of the process in the group chat.

**The Process**
It's about delivering release packages based on priorities defined by client. Each release package is a set of work items or requirements. Individual developers are assigned to work items. They are expected to deliver on planned delivery timelines in order to consider a work item into a release package.

I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well

I once worked for a dev shop who would present themselves as an NGO to provide IT solutions for other NGOs. There were total of 6 employees out of which only me and my friend was the sole developers. And the other 4 ppl would get salary for doing nothing. And they paid us peanuts and made us work parallely on multiple projects at once. Multiple as in not 2-3, it used to be 5-6 projects simultaneously!

Shittiest place I have worked. Fuck the stupid dev shop and fuck the people who run them. Hypocritical bastards.

What's your view on workplace relationships or hook ups? 😄
(Sticking an RJ45 in your pooper doesn't count btw.)

Even my house has more toilets than my workplace!

Today I read a job offer from my previous workplace and all the things that bothered me there had put them as their points in favor. They are definitely liars

Ok c++ professionals out there, I need your opinion on this:
I've only written c++ as a hobby and never in a professional capacity. That other day I noticed that we have a new c++ de developer at the office of which my first impression wasn't the greatest. He started off with complaining about having to help people out a lot (which is very odd as he was brought in to support one of our other developers who isn't as well versed in c++). This triggered me slightly and I decided to look into some of the PRs this guy was reviewing (to see what kind of stuff he had to support with and if it warranted his complaints).

It turns out it was the usual beginner mistakes of overusing raw pointers/deletes and things like not using various other STL containers. I noticed a couple of other issues in the PR that I thought should be addressed early in the projects life cycle, such as perhaps introduce a PCH as a lot of system header includes we're sprinkled everywhere to which our new c++ developer replies "what is pch?". I of course reply what it is and it's use, but I still get the impression that he's never heard of this concept. He also had opinions that we should always use shared_ptr as both return and argument types for any public api method that returns or takes a pointer. This is a real-time audio app, so I countered that with "maybe it's not always a good idea as it will introduce overhead due to the number of times certain methods are called and also might introduce ABI compability issues as its a public api.". Essentially my point was "let's be pragmatic and not religiously enforce certain things".

Does this sound alarming to any of you professional c++ developers or am I just being silly here?

Just had a work review last day. They told I am meeting their expectations . Okay ,Nice..
Then at night , talking to a friend working in same company ,heard her review significantly exceeding expections and all she gets to do simple bug fixes or smaller user stories. No complaints for her.. But for my team, A little more appreciation would have been better..
When these corporate jobs will realise that sometimes an appreciation can make you work better?

Not anti-man, curious about this particular problem:
Females have unique problems in the workplace and personal life yes, because of stereotypes.
I agree, I am a female. But when i read those articles about what we really go through, I really feel weak. I think if these many obstacles are present how am I supposed to do something without instinctively being influenced by the society.
It really felt better when I consider myself human not female.

What do you people do when you feel weakened by these impositions?

At my workplace, we are working on the codebase from 1999. It's built on Oracle Forms and Reports. Fuck my life 😔

When you go to work at 10 am and your daily task is to create index.php file in public_html 😂😂😂

What can I do when my boss tells me to guide the “Senior Software Engineer” while I am just a “Software Engineer”?

Also, the SSE just asked me to help him/her with his/her project coz he/she forgot the skill that he/she was hired for.

I opened this up to my boss, he just told me to guide and not spoonfeed her.

So, questions:
I really find it unfair that we have different job titles, how can I tell my boss that the SSE doesn’t really have the skills to proceed with the project?

Second, do I also need to define and establish the criteria for Lead, SSE and SE within the company? (My boss scheduled a meeting for this exclusively)

Confession: I know how to use Git but I want to learn how to use it properly so my team won't crucify me.

Yo guys, all the ranting aside, I just wanted to remind you that you ALWAYS have a choice, that you should speak up when something bothers you for too long and that you should be aware about all your strengths and unique skills! Just as a reminder ✌️

Hey guys, so i got my first job, but there's this stupid problem there that i am having...there's this guy who makes fun of everybody and there are other two guys who laugh at his every joke whenever he makes fun of someone. He made fun of me too a few times, fun of my age, fun of my nose, fun of certain things i said, and those other guys laugh , and this is really frustrating and annoying. I am thinking of quitting..but i am not sure...should i quit for such a small reason? I dont like such people...i dont know what to do...i dont wanna complain to the HR for such a small thing and create more drama...kindly tell me what to do...i really get sad when he indirectly mocks me because of my age. I am a bit old, 31...and the others are in their twenties...please help, thanks

At our workplace we have to log our activity by the hour on Jira because management wants to make sure we’re actually working on our tasks

This never happened when my (really cool) boss was around and I feel like they now legitimately want us to quit

Very proud to work at my company
They've just been voted for one of the best places to work in the UK. Hard worked studying paid off.

Hackathon going on at my workplace. It's midnight and still NOT feeling tired. 🙌

Today marked my first year of full time development work. I am really grateful to my workplace for giving me this opportunity instead of wasting away in education for 4+ more years. I've learnt so much already and can't wait for more 😁

When you code all day long, on your workplace and later at home, "live" meaning switches places. Stops being "code to live" and becomes "live for code". Change my mind.

Make it a trend!
My setup at work!

Where are my fellow ladies at?
How do you battle imposter syndrome in the classroom or workplace?

New CTO.

New CTO pushes policy change to all browsers to open Facebook Workplace on every new tab and as start page.
Locks option to change it.
This also kills restoring tabs from past session.

New CTO handles the complaints
'It's fine to complain, we don't even have to agree. If this is important to you, then come up with a suggestion on how to solve this for all our employees. Business equirement is that one page is shown at startup, that's it. This has nothing to do with Workplace.'

I've been working for 6 months now, and the boss tells me he's not satisfied with my work compared to someone that has 15+ years experience. He clearly states that for him - it's more important lines of code, than planning and defining the architecture which he don't like because that doesn't provide anything...

Of course, I can just jump into the code if that is whats important. I've seen the code produced by the other guy, and its shit.

The guy is a talker, and knows how to talk. I'm more like, hey lets create a simple design prototype or do some UML diagrams to get a better visualization of what we need.

Anyway, its just annoying to be compared to someone with many years of experience, its not that I can achieve it overnight...

I try to change my workplace to a local coffee shop or library.
That new environment and a good, large coffee really boost me

So I work for an IT consulting firm (web development) and was hired by a customer 7 months ago for coaching Git, implementation of VueJS on the front-end and fostering teamwork with devs who'd been in their solo comfort zone for the last 15 years.
I asked for confirmation multiple times on whether they were sure they wanted to go through with a bigger investment in front-end. Confirm they did, multiple times.

After half the team's initial enthusiasm faded (after 1 month), the 'senior' of them who's worked there for 18 years on a single -in the end, failed- project got a burn-out after half a week of showing up (without doing actual work) from the stress, and started whining about it with management that has no technical clue whatsoever. This and other petty office politics lead to the dumbest organizational and technical decisions I've seen in my short 5-year career (splitting a Laravel app that uses the same database in two, replacing docker container deployment with manual ssh'ing and symlinking, duplicating all the models, controllers, splitting a team in two, decreasing productivity, replacing project management dashboards with ad-hoc mail instructions and direct requests).

Out of curiosity I did a git log --author --no-merges with the senior's name on the 2 projects he was supposed to help on, and that turned up... ZERO commits. Now the dept. hired 3 new developers with no prior experience, and it's sad to see the seniors teach them "copy paste" as the developer's main reflex.

Through these 7 months I had to endure increasingly vicious sneers from the IT architect -in name only- who gets offended and hysterical at every person who dares offer suggestions. Her not-so-implicit insinuation is that it's all my fault because I implemented Vue front-end (as they requested), she has been doing this for months, every meeting at least once (and she makes sure other attendees notice). Extra background: She's already had 2 official complaints for verbal abuse in the past, and she just stressed another good developer into smoking again.

Now I present her my timesheet for January, she abuses her power by refusing to sign it unless I remove a day of work.
Earlier this week I asked her politely to please stop her unjust guilt-tripping to which she shouted "You'll just have to cope with that!", and I walked out of the room calmly (in order to avoid losing my nerves). She does this purely as a statement, and I know she does it out of bad faith (she doesn't actually care, as she doesn't manage the budgets). She knows she wields more power over me than the internal devs (I am consultant, so negative reviews for me could delay further salary raises).

I just don't know how to handle this person: I can't get a word in with her, or she starts shouting, and it's impossible to change her (completely inaccurate technological) perception.

So apparently, all IT staff of #ryanair is banned from remote work. Some of them are in Madrid, Spain. I heard a lot about their workplace and how "employee friendly" ther are. But to make "equality" excuse for staying in office cause pilots cant work from home...

Today we had a cryptolocker running through our file servers. The locker came from a mailicious e-mail from a strange address. The email contained a strange pdf file with an embedded docm file. 6 people out of a workplace of 80 opened that file. These people...

Work rant :

I once had a code review and remembered I forgot to comment my code and said sorry I forgot to comment it out.

The reply I got?
Don't worry, here we say your code should be readable enough and no comments are required.

Im still amazed, like... Even if the code is readable, fuck this I need a tl;Dr comment for the long ass fucking code... What the fuck

What I got from my secret santa at work! Do any of you guys have a workplace secret santa thing?

Today I got to work and could not find my computer anymore.

A little background: I am studying IT half of the time, the other half I work at a small software company. Today I came back from three months of University and wanted to start working again.

On the desk I worked the last six months is a laptop. I used a tower. So I asked where my PC went, but literally no one can tell my where it is. Some people think the admin gave it to some other person but saved the HDD somewhere, but he does not answer the phone and he is not in the office for another two days.

TL;DR I am sitting here, writing a rant and drinking coffee. I should have waited some days before showing up...

Universe has been working in my favour lately 😜

Buying CryptoKitties at work. Teamed up with my boss and some collegues. I love this workplace 😄

I see people ranting about first going to google.com and then searching. The browsers at my workplace won't let you do a search in the address bar, not even in the search field that says Google.
So now I do the same thing at home and realize how stupid it is milliseconds later.
Not frustrating at all.

Is anyone else close enough to his workplace to get there with a bicycle/walk easily?

CTO pointed out a typo in my branch. Agreenment.

I think I'll have to search for a new workplace 😢

So in my current workplace we have an IT department of... 7-8 people, with 3 developers (or 2.5, but that's debatable)

The oldest dev is old school, over 65 now came from Visual Basic, of course, and is a father of department's director - this is a story in of itself, but besides the point of this rant

Anywho, this dev is of course in this workplace way longer than me, and historically is in charge of finance and Microsoft CRM systems.

Guess the reason why Microsoft CRM was chosen at all in the company?

Because dev said he is not good with creating web forms from scratch, and apparently with MSCRM you can craft them without much trouble.

Yes, that's it, our MSCRM is used as a web application with custom forms that store data into custom DB tables that dev creates... nothing to do with actual CRM use cases.

At my workplace a while back we got some new interns.
I had been explaining how to use the commands on our Linux server. While I was in mid-sentence talking about what shutdown does, the intern inputs the shutdown command; shutting down everything... not shortly after, I start getting bombarded with emails and calls...

I think that Gamification in workplace is a bad ideia. It makes me feel like the company does not respect me and is treating me like a child with silly games.

My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.

All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode.

At my incubation place they put up these new, shinny tables and cupboards.
I was hoping maybe they will put a coffee machine. Instead they shifted the printers.

Talk about aesthetics.

Tried to log into my laptop 4 times and got wrong password. Fumed for full 5 mins before realizing that I was using password of workplace laptop.

fml

I'm working as a software intern and the room where I work is almost always quiet. And then there's some people who come in and talk, but at that point I don't mind because it's better than straight silence. Anyway, yeah

I really need to get out of this clusterfuck of a mess I got into, A.K.A. our website projects. Now, it feels more and more like all these problems and issues we're having are all my fault.

Here's the thing: I had 0 experience on web development before I got this job. I started as an intern, expecting to learn all the right practices and techniques on building websites. Nope. What happened was I was thrown in this big project, responsible for almost every functionality that it was supposed to have.

A junior-level guy. Doing a huge project on his own. Hell, I'm probably even lower than a junior. But here I am, pigeonholed in this shittard. My boss even said to me, "you know more about the website than I do." Fucking hell. He's not even aware of the clusterfucks I've done on the codebase because, fuck, what did I know? I don't even get feedbacks about my code. I don't fucking know if I'm doing all of these shit right. I don't know if this function is supposed to be here, or if it's supposed to behave that way, and, shit, the concept of test-driven development is probably something my boss has never heard of before.

So right now, I'm a bit obsessed with web development best practices, and how to write clean, maintainable code. I would probably get more learning from going to meetups than I will ever have from this place.

This has been a very shitty start of my career. I hope a much better learning experience will be plentiful at my next job (if anyone's willing to hire me). It would be like starting all over again. Sorry for the long post. I would like to put this as a blog post, but it's probably not a good idea, specially since I'm looking for a new job. Thank God for devRant.

Happy Friday everyone!

My workplace provides breakfast rolls, fruit, yogurts and other breakfasty stuff as well as free beers at 4pm.

How does your workplace finish the week?

It's a shame devRant has a character limit because a rant I have will hit the character limit 😂

My boss wants to put an Amazon Echo Dot in the conference room. So I suggested covering it with a cheese cover (those glassy dome thingies). He thought it would be an artsy statement, but I was actually worried about privacy.

Anyone have any experience with listening devices in the workplace?

First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...

Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...

Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-.

Work from home setup

This is fucking 3rd time in this year my workplace have changed the timings of everyone's shift schedule.

!ran Why cant companies work with employees over skype and other software instead of everybody having to physically go to a workplace?

Wouldn't it be more convinient to just connect over such softwares, and share code over github and stuff?

Or what is the reason that companies want to have their employees in a building?

No workplace = less money spent?

I'm not in a job yet and have no experience out of highschool working else where.
I'm just curious on what your opinions are.

What do you guys wear to work? I usually go to work in jeans and T-shirt. And I grow a mustache and beard. But my cousin is suggesting me to do clean shave and wear formals to work everyday. He says that it'll make a good impression in the workplace, like I take work seriously.

I do get his point because I automatically give more respect to people who come to office in formals. But I don't feel comfortable working in formals. Moreover my workplace is very casual and my manager, TL, VP all wear jeans (even torn) and tee.

About two weeks ago, at my workplace, I learnt about Django deployment in Nginx server with Docker and Kubernetes on Google Cloud Console.

People always brag to me about how they put up with bad working environments. I really have low tolerance and low respect for bosses who are less transparent and egotistic (about their opinion). It's so damn difficult to find good leaders. Sometimes, I get a feeling that maybe it's me who is overthinking and should probably be more patient.

My colleague had some problems today.
He had problems from both user input and predefined strings sent with ajax to backend. The "&"-sign was splitting values in GET-requests into unintended parameters. So... he was simply going to search and replace all of those signs with the word "and"...

encodeURI()? Why are you sending our forms with GET-requests?! 🙃

'Undefined' is not a function

that moment at work when your boss asks you do something that has not been defined as your 'function'

How can someone like everyone at their workplace yet somehow hate what they do so much?

I need to get out of this fucking city. I need to leave this fucking useless pointless css with a sprinkle of php job.

I just feel do frustrated.

I read somewhere that you should change job each 3 or 4 years. I was wondering how often do you change job? 🤔

Learning from the smart people; in every workplace there are drones and leaders, each have their own selective intelligence. Pick the ones that are the most intelligent to learn from, and you'll be going along happily while learning at breakneck speed from the best.