My boss just revised my report and sent it back with new file names. Memes have officially infiltrated the workplace.

Where to get help on fixing a bug:
1.Google
2.Stack Overflow
.
.
.
8479.Your coworker who is coding with his earphones on.

My new (DIY) desktop/wordspace.

My workplace is relatively safe in case of a zombie apocalypse: no brains

First day at my first workplace as a dev. waiting for my laptop to load up, nothing happens, black screen. waiting sitting patiently and silently for approx. 20 minutes.

the monitor was off.

Let's take a moment to appreciate the Wi-Fi at my workplace

Don't get too comfortable.

If your workplace isn't much of a learning environment, it's either time to learn on your own time or leave that workplace.

Don't be arrogant with those who are less tech savy. If your boss/cowoker doesn't understand, at least give them them a chance ☺.

Be kind to new developers who make mistakes; you were in their shoes once.

Realize there's more to life than just designing and implementing software. Don't let other areas of your life suffer just because you're a godly developer.

Right here

When your workplace has a 3d Printer.
The raptor army grows, harhar.

My average day in the workplace 😭😂

toxic workplace; leaving

I haven't wanted to write this rant. I haven't even wanted to talk to anyone (save my gf, ofc). I've just been silently fuming.

I wrote a much longer rant going into far too much detail, but none of that is relevant, so I deleted it and wrote this shorter (believe it or not) version instead. And then added in more details because details.

------

On Tuesday, as every Tuesday, I had a conference call with the rest of the company. For various, mostly stupid reasons, the boss yelled at and insulted me for twenty minutes straight in front of everyone, telling me how i'm disorganized, forgetful, how can't manage my time, can't manage myself let alone others, how I don't have my priorities straight, etc. He told the sales team to get off the call, and then proceeded to yell and chew at me for another twenty minutes in front of the frontend contractor about basically the same things. The call was 53 minutes, and he spent 40 minutes of it telling me how terrible I've been. No exaggeration, no spin. The issues? I didn't respond to an email (it got lost in my ever-filling inbox), and I didn't push a very minor update last week (untested and straight to prod, ofc). (Side note: he's yelled at me for ~15 minutes before for being horribly disorganized and unable to keep up on Trello -- because I had a single card in the wrong column. One card, out of 60+ over two boards. Never mind that most have time estimates, project tags, details, linked to cards on his boards, columns for project/qa/released, labels for deferred, released to / rejected from qa, finished, in production, are ordered by priority, .... Yep. I'm totes disorganized.)

Anyway, I spent most of conference call writing "Go fuck yourself," "Choke on a cat and die asshole," "Shit code, low pay, and broken promises. what a prize position," etc. or flipping him off under the camera on our conference-turn-video-call (switched due to connection issues, because ofc video is more stable than audio-only in his mind).

I'm just.
so, so done.

I did nothing the rest of the day on Tuesday, and basically just played games on Wednesday. I did one small ticket -- a cert replacement since that was to expire the next day -- but the rest was just playing CrossCode. (fun game, fyi; totally recommend.)

Today? It's 3:30pm and I can't be bothered to do anything. I have an "urgent" project to finish by Monday, literally "to give [random third party sales guy] a small win". Total actual wording. I was to drop all other tasks (even the expiring cert lol) and give this guy his small win. fucking whatever. But the project deals with decent code -- it's a minor extension to the first project I did for the company (see my much earlier rants), back when I was actually applying myself and learning something (everything) new, enjoying myself, and architecting+writing my own code. So I might actually do the project, but It's been two days and I haven't even opened single file yet.

But yeah. This place is total and complete shit. Dealing with the asshole reminds me of dealing with my parents while growing up, and that's a subject I don't want to broach -- far too many toxic memories.

So, I'm quitting as soon as I find something new.
and with luck, this will be before assface hires my replacement-to-be, and who will hopefully quit as soon as s/he sees the abysmal codebase. With even more luck, the asshole king himself will get to watch his company die due to horrible mismanagement. (though ofc he'll never attribute it to himself. whatever.)

I just never want to see or think about him again.
(nor this fetid landfill of a codebase. bleh.)

With luck, this will be one of my last rants about this toxic waste dump and its king of the pile.
Fourty fucking minutes, what the fuck.

The IT Throne 💻😂😂

My set up at work.
For this post I want to thank Microsoft for providing me some free time

So I had a job interview and got offered the job on the spot, then I went back to my manager at my current workplace to raise an issue about me being underpaid for this months wages and this is how the conversation went.

Enjoy.

I thought I was really good at debugging. Then I met this legend in my workplace. And he was like...

I gor a problem with my gf, and she asked for space, then i got a new problem in my workplace, i want to kill my boss and my senior mothercuker! FUCK THIS!!!

It was great to see Gitlab not only being transparent, but also being so empathetic towards the employee and not bashing them at all. Instead they said the more things you do the more mistakes you make. And the system/process should have contingency so that human mistakes have some tolerance margins.

That is a great workplace!

Dare you speak the Truth!

🤣🤣🤣
Somehow, my boss got his son, 19, working in a team of developers last week.
Son: i got ton of money and i dont need to do this. i inherit lot of properties from my dad.(trying to sound funny, superior, and boasting of his inheritance knowledge he might have learned in school during java class probably.)

A guy in the team: No you dont. You are like us.😎😎😎
Son: minds his own business now.

Damn that line made my day.
🤗👏👏👏👏

++ for this dude for insulting morons like this at work.
I may have to remove it on boss request if he see it. But for now hit as many ++ to show that idiot no body likes people like him.

Too much noise in my workplace, can't focus on my code,
bought 300 bucks noise cancelling headphones,
best money i've spent

When you can't work because the company forgot to renew your Visual Studio license.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me: Boss, your new project is ready, we've tested the technical aspect but we're waiting on your approval before deploying, will you test it?
Boss: yeah sure, I'll test it in 5

*2 weeks later*

Boss: why isn't that project deployed yet?
Me: you haven't tested it, and we haven't gotten approval
Boss: oh right, I'll go test it right now!

*2 weeks later*

Boss: I NEED that project to go live RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!!
Me: sure, have you tested it yet?
Boss: nope, but I need it
Me: well, I'll put it live, but me and my colleagues are shifting responsibility to you, since you haven't tested it. Are you sure?
Boss: yeah, yeah whatever...

*put product online*

*2 days later*

Angry call from boss, bugs have been found, tell him that he approved the state of the product and that the bugs will go on the to-do list...

Boss is extremely pissed, but recognized his mistake...

Now, the boss actually tests everything thoroughly at the moment we tell him to! No more bugs, complaints, and I got a raise!

The way how cables are laid in my workplace... \(°Ω°)/

Every manager, if you tell them that we need to upgrade our workplace outdated (anything)

1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace

!rant

This week I started a new job.

My role changed from "Full-stack-web-developer-sysadmin-DBA-helpdesk-strange-person-fixing-stuff-around" to "Back-end Developer".

Moreover, it's a full remote position (so difficult to find in Italy!), so:
1. I can wake up 1.5 hours later;
2. I don't have to waste anymore 2 hours every fucking day driving in traffic to reach the workplace;
3. I can use my fucking bathroom;
4. I can drink hot tea in August without being criticized. 😀

I'm fucking happy!

Today, I was telling a team member who joined recently to refer a GitHub repo, fork it and start working.

That person asks me, "Why GitHub, why should I access it etc". I blanked out after hearing the first question, so whatever said after that wasn't registered in my mind.

I asked that person "how did you do it in your previous org ?"

The response was, "we zip the code at end of everyday and store it as draft in our mailbox"

I stormed out of the workplace, even though it was just around mid of the day...

Last week we had a short seminar at work about 'listening skill.'

In that speaker gave an example how 'natural' leaders speak last in the meetings.

From that day we are having entirely silent meetings.

Now management is planning seminar on 'Speaking Up'

!Rant

6 mins of walk to my new workplace.
😁

Post your workplace!

There are people in my workplace who ask "why did you set your IDE to dark theme?". How do I convince them that turning off the lights above my cubicle, lowering the screen brightness and having a dark theme is the best thing ever to concentrate?

Not to mention earbuds and a hoodie.

How do I convince them that once you turn to the Dark Side, there's no coming back?

From r/linuxmasterrace (u/KeithKatar)

How many times has this conversation happened at your workplace?

How am I supposed to work like this?

My new workplace

Just learned that my previous workplace hired someone to take over the frontend which was my first big javascript project, and now I have an odd fear for my life.

To my coworker who gets notifications 5 times a minute:

PUT YOUR F**KING PHONE ON SILENT, YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

Jeeze, it's like some people have ZERO workplace etiquette 😡😡😡

Ok, do you sometimes feel like you get treated as search engine? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.

My coworker from my previous workplace is messaging me to suggest about good tutorial about a framework that I'm not familiar about.

"Dude, have you heard about Google?"

Working with php👌

Among my fellow developers at work, there is one guy who stands out because he actually strives to write modular, reusable and readable code. He literally saved me weeks of development by making his code modular enough that I can simply use it almost like a mixin where I only need to provide an alternative template. Note that the feature I'm talking about is for a pretty much sophisticated business process related to handling credit card data. Others in my workplace would just couple their logic tightly with their feature/scope's views.

I really wanna hug him and be his BFF now. #nohomo tho.

My colleagues are real jokers

Received my new mechanical keyboard from Amazon today. It feels so much better than our standard company Dell keyboard. And it looks so great. Also it has nice LEDs with several modes. Love it

Before you start to work, focus and make sure your workplace has the right equipment 😎

My wife brought an old and filthy keyboard from her workplace.

My family hosts an 100 mile (160km) run once every year for ultra-runners. 11 hours in the first runner has done 105 km. And I'm sitting at this checkpoint logging their times and working on a project. But rain started pouring down and this not so waterproof tent has just become the worst developing workplace I have ever been in because the umbrella ain't big enough for me and the laptop. So I'm soaked and won't be relieved for another 8 hours. The things you do for family.

Somehow wk37: At my workplace you get "caked" if you don't lock your computer. Which actually means that its very likely that someone will write in company wide chat that you will bring cake tomorrow. :)

I'm on a 17 hour security monitor shift. Sup devRant.

Just a 60 year old teachers desk and some awesome screens....MacBook pro with 3 external for work with a gaming rig when 5.30 rolls around....

This guy is asking the 'real questions'.

At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...

what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)

One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.

Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.

Guess what happend next...

Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)

at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up

I can finally post a picture of my setup because I finally have one now 😂🎉

I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?

So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.

The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.

Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.

This next one is dedicated to a couple of special people at my workplace:

- The person who uploaded internal-use-only code to a personal repository on GitHub

- The network team that has blocked any and all access to GitHub

- The obscured mass of management bureaucracy that makes it pretty much impossible for anyone at my level to make any sort of appeal

This one's for you:

*ahem*

WHY?!

New workplace new setup

Just quit this unhealthy workplace, where my work isn’t appreciated or valued at all. Feels good.

It's the little things in life, like getting a plant for your desk at work 👌

So, there is this guy whose arguments on "How Apple is bad" are

1) "while copying files in Finder, you don't see a speed graph (like in Windows)"
2) "MacBooks don't have a Touchscreen"
3) "it's slow"
4) "you can't play games (like GTA V)"
5) "having app menus always on the top of the screen instead of in every window makes no sense"

Arguments on "why Linux is bad":

1) "it's ugly"
2) no gaming (same as point 4 above)
3)... And other biased irrelevant shit

Yet his amazing old Windows 10 computer with the most recent Insider build has only a 65% chance of booting on the first attempt. Almost nothing works properly on his hardware yet he always blames something unrelated to him.
Recently I was having trouble with the workplace wifi (for few minutes I wasn't having full speed like he on the other side of the room had), and his reaction "aha, it's your macOS, never working".

Like wtf. I don't hate Windows or I don't love Linux, but I night hate him for being an arrogant cunt and I want to punch his face.

Here is my list of horrible techs which are common in my current and previous workplace which should be extinct ASAP:

SAP
SharePoint
Java applets
Java Swing desktop apps
C# Windows Forms desktop apps
ASP/JSP
VB
RemoteApp
Shitty insecure php web apps
Micorsoft Access DB
Windows XP
Windows Servers
Closed Linux-based appliances which lack many basic GNU software and are forbidden to tamper with
Every single Symantec product

Post yours below

I hate the fucking fakeness at my corporate workplace. Everybody's kissing everybody's ass. What' worse is that individually, they're nice people but the environment changed them and they don't even notice it.
Also they fucking congratulate themselves for their fucking great work but all they did is basically a big crud app. We're all just a bunch of code monkeys. I'm so getting out of there.

Work is a lot like an escape room. you're stuck in a place and have to solve riddles.

How come everyone has so many cool setups at their workplace and I have a fucking 4 year old laptop that hangs thrice everyday.. FML 😕

When your workplace blocks GitHub.com... T.T

Do you guys know the feeling you get, when you have to explain your work to a non programmer? An example could be your boss.

It's not always that easy.

Show me your coffee cup. This is mine.

Beware of office politics. Take it from me. Beware whom you trust in the workplace. Sometimes you won't detect it and they will prey on your innocence. You thought they're good but really is not. Back stabbers.

Irony is when I just interviewed a person in my current workplace right after giving an interview for a new job in another place

What do I do at workplace on Sunday?

Well, I learn. Learn!

Him : Your tea is cold

Me : if the tea/coffe is full and cold ... developer is working hard.

Manager : well said ha ha ha 😅

I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.

On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.

Yup.

If you want to talk about politics or religion at work, then you can expect a lot of disinterested nods and “sure”s from me before I leave the room.

I don’t care about your invisible man in the sky, I am here to do work. In fact, your invisible man in the sky can choke on my dick for all I care.

I don’t want to talk about to political cult. I’m here to work. Keep your sheep mentality to yourself.

I’m here to build fucking software, not to take on your insecurities and character flaws.

When coding at work is too intense to return the coffee mugs. One more to complete the triangle and call to our the coffee gods.

A couple years ago my now ex-colleagues pranked the lead dev for being nitpicky about the importance of the story post-it wall in the agile process.
His desk was like this the next morning.
Needless to say, he was pissed and we had a good laugh :D

Bye Bye Buguntu, Hello Budgie Buguntu...

I unfriended every person at work on my Facebook except 2. I don’t know how I let my social media become so open to folks I work with. 😒

My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.

My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.

I love to work in pubs/bars, this special kind of noisy environment works so well for me. I even go "into the zone".

Lets talk about this. Is anyone else the same? Just curious.

These are my 6 reasons:

0) Beer. 🍺
1) None of the activity in a bar actually interests to me, if you know what I mean. In my house, every single noise/movement will get my attention.
2) After some time all the noise blends into a kind of "homogeneous hearing blurb". Like a mantra. Maybe there are even white/pink/brown noise benefits (guess).
3) I go to places where I enjoy the music and atmosphere.
4) I like bars and pubs anyways. I feel good in these places.
5) Beer. 🍺

!quiteRant

Since I'm working for 3 years as a parttime software engineer, I started to feel my tendon sheath more and more, sometimes it was hurting so I decided to have a look around on ergonomic keyboards, because in the office we only have these flat, thin wireless keyboards which are the fucking opposite of ergonomic.
They feel like when Eddie Scissorhands has to cut hair of a pile of rocks.
So after some reviews I decided to buy a Kinesis Advantage2 (made in the USA of Americas) eventhough it is quite expensive (379 Kanuckistan Kopeks).

I must say this keyboard is fucking well engineered. You can remap every key in a few keypresses and it is stored on the keyboard itself, no software required... awesome!
The disadvantage for me is, being pretty tall I have very wide shoulders so the 2 keyboard pits are a bit too close together in my oppinion.
The other thing is, you really have to get used to it... I am slowly advancing in speed and it feels great. No pain anymore and I don't have to move my hands at all.

So what are your experiences with keyboards and does your workplace have a good setup for staying healthy?

Been a while since I've posted, so I might as well look into getting active again, so hello old friends and the new guys :)

Ever since finishing my bachelors, I've been mostly working frontend with React and Jest testing. Might as well throw in my workplace.

Breakdown of a casual work day:

50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?

An Chrome/Mozilla extension to make browser disappear without loosing the session and bring it back on mouse control.

Making it safe to browse internet at workplace.

When your school/workplace has got internet:
Lan: 100mb/sec
Wlan: 25 kb/sec

I am one of those individuals who can't understand a word someone is saying to me if there is any loud background noise - e.g. other people talking near me. That frustrated me so much in the past, nowadays I just say loudly and politely I can't understand a damn word because someone near me is talking a bit too loudly.

Full HD 27' monitor 😍😍😍 when you can divide your screen into two halves easily and there's no need to do Alt+tab

Legit considering quitting my job and going back to my old workplace.

Fucking getting real tired of fucking around with html and css on the daily.

The school is fucking crashing down on our shitty as web services. But my manager (as much as we love her) is forcing everyone to double time on a rather stupid project that keeps constantly changing on the daily.

I am so fucking tired of it

Anyone else here thing their head would explode if they knew something like this at their workplace?

That moment when you enter the elusive state of mind where you're getting serious shit done aannnnnnnddd you're interrupted. FUCK!

I thought my project's colleague were different from everyone else. I was wrong. Just another sheep like all the others. Last week he took credit for my work. And I think he even believed in what he was saying. He was talking to our supervisor saying he solved the error, all happy, but it was me...
Two weeks ago we went on a night out and, drunk, he said that one of the supervisors asked him if he wants to go to team leader, become a senior. He knows 10% of what I know! I'm always helping him and I will not continue doing his work!
Should I find another job?
I told my supervisor and the director I was going to stay, but I don't think I want to, if they put him as a senior while I am a junior.

I just replaced 180 lines of Python with 5 lines. I want to smack the author but that would be workplace violence. Funny how if you import some built in libraries you don't have to basically write it's entire functionality and can just use it. I am so ready for this week to be over.

FUCK. This person who I have to avoid at social gatherings because I find him insufferably annoying is applying to my workplace and oh my God I hope I never have to work with him, at least the company is 700 people so the odds are relatively low?

Uggggg he's the worst. And I'm so easy going. There's like two people I feel this way about (fortunately the other lives in a different city).

When the manager is a creep!!

Anyone else working from home today? Love that my current workplace has this option.

My previous workplace would have laughed in your face if you even suggested of working at home! Only our bosses were allowed to work from home (surprise surprise?)

At my workplace we have a code word for users. ID10T.

"I understand you want to write your own code. But that's not professional. If you have reusable tested code just copy and paste it in your project"

I thought he was joking. But I am realising it's the most valuable advice in jy workplace

Coworker bugs me by telling her dog stories, now I hate dogs.

I play online multi-player games...

...solo

:P

Actually, my social life revolves around my fiancée and my family, some friends from my last workplace and some really great people I "met" in online game jams

"Friends" from school often say I tend to "disappear" (though I'm often left out of stuff they do, so meh)

Clients, well, I try to keep a distance and do most stuff online, since I always end up think I'm wasting time on meetings and some events (which is true 99.4% of the time)

Most of the time I'm idle, I end up making music :D

hmm I just slip into a depressive phase because of my workplace 😐 I can't handle the pressure somehow.. I think I am a bad teamlead, I am not made for this

The person who I was closest to in the workplace is leaving and everyone else is a "professional employee" and they make "work safe jokes" that deserves "polite laughter" now everyone looses their shit if I let out the f word. I guess I will have my next free conversation with the goldfish.

College student here.
What are the most important skills/assets one should bring to the workplace? As a developer and a colleague.

He took everything home that he took from home to create a workplace form himself... man the office was empty when he was done...

Ideas for future weekly question:

- Where will you see yourself in 5 years?
- Do you automate tasks when developing and what kind of automation do you write yourself or use?
- What do you think about hooking up with someone from work?
- What are your thoughts about books in IT?
- How do you make your workplace comfortable?
- How would you change your company if you became the boss today?
- What are your thoughts about the future of computer input devices (kb & mice)?
- What are your prevention measures agains Skynet?
- When will HL3 be released?
- What's the solution to everything?

Just 4 days in at my first job after recently graduating and I already love my workplace. Everyone in the office is so lively and giggly that you'll hear good jokes and genuine laughs thrown around the place EVERYDAY. People are so friendly and outgoing that I just realised I had made so many friends in a short time despite my introvertedness. To scale; you probably heard or experienced yourself that Filipino communities are generally super friendly and possitive. Well as a Filipino, I can attest that this is on a whole other level.

Damn. Too bad I can't remember all their names tho. 😂

Then there are a ton of perks like free food, gym, etc. And then I met this attractive and fun girl my age who I think and hope is into me, idk. We hang out with her 2 other friends, all four of us being relatively new at the company, separated by a month or so.

This is the best experience I had in such a long time and I'm super excited to see where this leads to.

At a workplace I was attached to, a colleague of mine taught and still teaches Actionscript 2/3.

She rambles about how coding is important to a modern career, while teaching students how to animate a circle. Management can't fire her because of a poorly drafted contract.

Worst of all, she refuses to update her skillset.

So what do you do if your workplace is just a sinkhole but its one of the highest paying sinkholes?

What managers fail to realize is us developers and designers work close. We talk about things, we bicker, we find related problems that we have in our workplace. We band together and we form efforts. They are few and we are many. A project managers job is to be a servant to who they manage. If you cannot be straight forward and well respected At the same tome then it is not the job for you.

Not a dev related rant but more of a workplace rant.

I work in a business center with around 30 small offices. We share the common areas like kitchen, meeting rooms and bathroom.

Today, the cleaning lady told me to use the bathroom on the other side of the workplace because she spread bleach all over the men's restrooms floor.

The reason? Someone peed completely outside the toilet. I understand men can miss a couple of drops but a complete load? It's not the first time it has happened but I can only think he enjoys doing it.

I wish I had my own bathroom...

So today I found out that one of my bosses (who does not program) thinks that he is better at system architecture than myself and 2 other colleagues combined and that we are "too inexperienced".

Not sure how he works that one out tbh. I have nearly 10 years experience, I build plenty of systems outside of work and I have a university degree in software engineering.

Sometimes bosses really know how to motivate you. This joins a long list of frustrations with my current workplace - and am almost at the end of my tether.

The new software to log in working time at my workplace requires Silverlight. I'm on Ubuntu. Basically after weeks of googling and trying different solutions, I decided that the easiest way to make it work was to install a virtual machine running Windows.

Right now I'm just trying to understand if there is some obscure reason for which they used Silverlight or if I'm just a complete noob who doesn't know jack.

Doing dev work in Belgium in an office without air conditioning and a
room temperature of 38°C (100F).. just impossible to focus.. in the car I almost burnt my fingers using the steering wheel and gear stick. Some of you guys have had similar experiences (temp? Location?), for me it's a first..

I hate it when a manager tries to be friendly with the employees. It feels forced. Is it wrong that I want to keep my work relationships strictly professional?

Hey friends! Milo here, I sincerely hope all of you are having a tremendous day and or night wherever you may be. This photo i have attached here below is a dream one day i wish to achieve.

A good friend of mine who I personally consider a mentor invited me to check out their workplace which one day i really hope to be able to work in! Such a nice place with a spectacular view! Please pardon the horrible weather on that particular day! :-)

Kindest regards
Milo

Extract from a quite old recruiter email (excluding the formalities):

Position: junior dev
Workplace: office for first year, can be changed to remote after (salary will be 50% lower if you go remote though) *suspicion levels starts raising*
Payment: 1€ per line of code (empty lines/comments excluded) or page of documentation *alarms start ringing*
Additional info: on high alert for 4 weeks every 6 weeks *wtf is going on*, salary bonus is 10€ per week *I stopped reading here and moved the email directly to the spam folder*

Today I heard a story from my workplace about a clinic that uses our software.
They received a virus that causes the computers on this clinic to bork because the owner clicked a link in an email with a fake postal message.

Right after we had restored them...
Then he wanted to see if it would happen again if he clicked the link...

Thought that would have taught them.
But it happened a 3rd time in the same week.

Workplace bullying.

Today is a great day! From now, I am using Windows only for games and at my workplace. For everything else, Debian.

Why do people eat at their work desk? This fuckety fuck is putting her sticky spoon in her mouth with some pungent shit in it. And its fucking my nose up.

They also make their workplace dirty with bits all around. You have a cafeteria for fucks sake. Get your lazy ass up there and eat.

Code review?......... what's that?

Joke apart, We literally don't do that in my workplace, only few people care about code quality and what they are pushing to production

The Sys Admin limited everyone's access on an application through the admin panel. He forgot I have access to the database and I now have full access 😂

Being attacked in the workplace politically. Makes for a nice work environment.

The fact that my boss knows I'm on devRant means, that I can't rant about anything, that can be linked to my workplace or current assignments.

IMAO, a new programming language/technology is like a new cute girl at your school/workplace. We give it a lot of attention and tend to ignore older programming languages/technologies

Question: Do you guys use your own laptop for development or the ones provided at your workplace.

Question for everyone that has a job:

Does your workplace have a dress code? If so, what's required?

Our workplace has so many... But perhaps was this useless guy who claimed to be a member of Mensa, who would wear no shoes into the bathroom, place his lunch beneath the urinal when he peed, prop himself up by leaning on the urinal, and top it off by not washing his hands.

🤢

Project manager ending argument with "it's because we have a shit culture"

People come to me they ask:
How to hack !!!.
I tell myself what the hack

Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.

Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.

TL;DR: What's cool about your company or what you'd like to have in your company?

I work at a small company (<50 employee) but it has some time around (I'd say almost 20 years or so).

The thing is, the boss here is cheap or inattentive or outdated or all previous options. This translates into a company stuck in the 90's management ways. Well, maybe late 90's.

So we don't have a lot of 'cool' or nice things here; and I've been thinking of coming up with a proposal of a progressive update of some things that gives us (the employees) some sort of identity.

For example, I think that small things like personalized notebooks or post-its or t-shirts give the employees some sort of sense of belonging. We don't have any of that. The only thing we have are business cards and I find them completely useless since I don't visit customers and all my communication with them is via email.

One thing I find very cool is when one employee starts in a company, in their first day they get a 'welcome kit' (example picture): notebook, pen, cup, t-shirt... It may look like stupid shit but it's way better and more motivating than the "Sit here and that's it" welcome I got when I started here.

So I wanna do a proposal of this sort of things that we can adopt, and I wanna know what do you find cool in your company or what would you like your company did so you'd feel more confortable or 'proud' (maybe that's not the word) of working there.

My biggest pet peeve is whenever you're in the toilet, you know, doing a number 1, a lazy number 1, a number 2 or the combo. For most toilets, including in our workplace, its very clear that the door is locked. Usually it is either written or signified by the color red. Despite all this, you still have those people who will almost batter down the door despite being CLEARLY LOCKED.

Fucking hell, that grinds my nuts.

I was bored at my workplace and thought to put curl code to GET a random dad joke on opening terminal everytime

Fuck, now I'm having a migraine

but i have an idea to expand this project even more

I didn't get jealous that 3 of my uni friends are working at the same company but I'm extremely jealous over that 1 uni friend who's company uses Linux for their desktop by default. This is acceptable, right? Right???

rate my place 1-10

I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well

Last monday I started using a mechanical keyboard at my workplace and now the ones who are in my same room probably want to kill me...! 😉

I have no problems if you share the same IQ as a 10 year old.. just not in the workplace.

This is long rant/story:

My manager conducts sync-up meetings regularly. The idea is to sync up all developers on current state of work. He does’t conduct stand-ups. He doesn't have time for it. He rather discusses on individual basis if we are blocked. The rule of the sync-up meeting is NOT to discuss any blockers or problems but simply explain each other what we are doing and how we plan next.

Sometime ago, the manager brought up and explained a new way of working in the sync-up meeting. At this point, a new developer in the team was absent due to sickness.

Today, there was a sync-up meeting and the manager started to question the new member about the newly introduced way of working. He was unaware of it and the manager never communicated this important information via email or any mode of communication available.

So, the conversation goes on as follows:

"Manager": — "Why didn’t you complete your task as per the new way of working?"
"Employee": — "Well, I've no idea. Am I supposed to do? I’ve been working as usual like any other"

"Manager": — "We have a new process and you have failed to follow it, so we’re late in delivering your work"
"Employee": — "I’ve already finished my work on time. I've raised a pull-request this morning"

"Manager": — "It doesn’t matter, it is not merged to main branch and so we can’t include your work in the release"
"Employee": — "I’ve no idea about the new process"

"Manager": — "Haven’t you asked around about what happened from previous meeting"
"Employee": — "Yes, I have. I was told which tasks were handled, but nothing about a new process"

"Manager": — "Aren’t you interested to learn it?"
"Employee": — "Why won’t I be interested? I was on a sick leave and I have no clue what happened here"

"Manager": — "What’s happened is past now, let’s not focus on it"
"Employee": — <Dumbfounded>
The Employee felt ashamed in front of everyone. He did his job but it didn’t pay off.

…. After an hour … the Employee had a talk with the Manager

"Employee": — "You shouldn’t have pointed me out in front of everyone. It made me feel real bad. You should have emailed this information if its important for the team."
"Manager": — "I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I say so? I think you’ve a bright future in the team. You should be focusing on doing better things."

Employee goes back to work. A minute later, the Manager sends a PowerPoint screenshot of the process in the group chat.

**The Process**
It's about delivering release packages based on priorities defined by client. Each release package is a set of work items or requirements. Individual developers are assigned to work items. They are expected to deliver on planned delivery timelines in order to consider a work item into a release package.

Tried pomedoro technique copule of time found that this doesn't work for mE. The only things worked is
1) do 4 hours straight
2) take 1 hour break
3) do another 4 hour straight
works much wetter

At my workplace, we are working on the codebase from 1999. It's built on Oracle Forms and Reports. Fuck my life 😔

Workplace requires formal dress code. In Italy, in July, with up to 30C (90F) outside. And August is going to be worse.
I have to take a train + walk 10 minutes to get there. And I sweat, like, a lot. I frigging DRIP. It gets embarrassing, and I think I was close to passing out a couple of times in the last few days.
I really don't know how to mitigate the damage. Suggestions?

Yo guys, all the ranting aside, I just wanted to remind you that you ALWAYS have a choice, that you should speak up when something bothers you for too long and that you should be aware about all your strengths and unique skills! Just as a reminder ✌️

Today we had a cryptolocker running through our file servers. The locker came from a mailicious e-mail from a strange address. The email contained a strange pdf file with an embedded docm file. 6 people out of a workplace of 80 opened that file. These people...

When you go to work at 10 am and your daily task is to create index.php file in public_html 😂😂😂

I once worked for a dev shop who would present themselves as an NGO to provide IT solutions for other NGOs. There were total of 6 employees out of which only me and my friend was the sole developers. And the other 4 ppl would get salary for doing nothing. And they paid us peanuts and made us work parallely on multiple projects at once. Multiple as in not 2-3, it used to be 5-6 projects simultaneously!

Shittiest place I have worked. Fuck the stupid dev shop and fuck the people who run them. Hypocritical bastards.

Even my house has more toilets than my workplace!

What can I do when my boss tells me to guide the “Senior Software Engineer” while I am just a “Software Engineer”?

Also, the SSE just asked me to help him/her with his/her project coz he/she forgot the skill that he/she was hired for.

I opened this up to my boss, he just told me to guide and not spoonfeed her.

So, questions:
I really find it unfair that we have different job titles, how can I tell my boss that the SSE doesn’t really have the skills to proceed with the project?

Second, do I also need to define and establish the criteria for Lead, SSE and SE within the company? (My boss scheduled a meeting for this exclusively)

I just realized that a colleague have always had this little pillow in the office,

When I picked it up to look closer, it kinda freaked me out,

What's the weirdest thing you found in the workplace?

There is a true story at my workplace.
A Linux administrator installing putty on its first day of work. On fedora Linux. Alright maybe normally using Windows. The next thing he had done was amazing.

He changed the UID in passwd file of root and pushed it to all servers......

Nobody could fix it anymore because even root didn't had rights to edit passwd. Next day he was asked not to come back

Very proud to work at my company
They've just been voted for one of the best places to work in the UK. Hard worked studying paid off.

How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?

I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.

If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.

My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.

I try to change my workplace to a local coffee shop or library.
That new environment and a good, large coffee really boost me

Just had a work review last day. They told I am meeting their expectations . Okay ,Nice..
Then at night , talking to a friend working in same company ,heard her review significantly exceeding expections and all she gets to do simple bug fixes or smaller user stories. No complaints for her.. But for my team, A little more appreciation would have been better..
When these corporate jobs will realise that sometimes an appreciation can make you work better?

Where are my fellow ladies at?
How do you battle imposter syndrome in the classroom or workplace?

!rant

Last month I called my employer from last summer (the same place I had my internship and still have untold stories from) and asked if they could use a summer employee. "Certainly" was the reply, and whatever date I give, I can start then.

On my way to a college tour Friday, I stopped by to say hello to my (again) co-workers. There were some new faces (including my replacement) but all were happy to have me back. They treated me as if I never left.

I start tomorrow on a different project. I am excited. And now that I have devRant in my life, I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell. Maybe this summer I won't have to send code I find to The Daily WTF. 😁

Make it a trend!
My setup at work!

Confession: I know how to use Git but I want to learn how to use it properly so my team won't crucify me.

Today I read a job offer from my previous workplace and all the things that bothered me there had put them as their points in favor. They are definitely liars

Tell me honestly, Do your feel gender discrimination vibe at your workplace? I've been seeing so much tweets about female developer being insulted/made fun of/ whatever you call discrimination.
For me it's really good to see them writing codes. One of the girl I was friend with on Facebook was really good at solving problems. She gave me some of best ideas. I need an honest answer guys ?

About two weeks ago, at my workplace, I learnt about Django deployment in Nginx server with Docker and Kubernetes on Google Cloud Console.

Buying CryptoKitties at work. Teamed up with my boss and some collegues. I love this workplace 😄

First day back at my old workplace and the guy who replaced me as storeman is going to put me in an early grave...

Literally all of the work I put in over the past year and a bit is gone...

Welp... Let's hope I can get a higher up position soon so I can fix this shit heap .-.

I haven't turned off my work laptop since over a month. I restart occasionally when Windows update demads it.

I have TeamViewer running in this and since workplace has 24/7 electricity and highspeed internet, i use it if i have to download something huge and important.

In addition to that, I'm using it for something else, which will get me fired if found out.

Believe it or not, nobody has yet noticed since last 6 months that I leave my system running 😂

I would replace it completely with industry apprenticeship, along with every other major. Education in the USA has become a scam designed to mine children for debt. If we're shackling kids to their student loans we at least owe them relevance in their chosen workplace.

Germany apparently let's people choose apprenticeship over university for work such as engineering. Does anyone know more about that? Does it work? Would it work for programmers?

Some of the worst code reviews I had were at my 1st proper workplace which incidentally was the strictest one! I was such a lazy oaf and hated those.

Still don't like code reviews but I do admit those first ones did me a tom of good.

Nowadays when I am the one co ducting them I tend to be more relaxed and chill and not be a nazi coz I still remember the repulsion of my first ones ^^'

After 4 years off apprenticeship and 10 days of totally focused work I just turned in my final exam! (45 Minutes ago)

The final exam for IT professionals (here in Switzerland) is a project that you work on for ten days at your workplace.

I thought I would feel relieved in any way.

But honestly, there are only two things in my head right now:

Tiredness
And
The constant thought off what could be wrong

I AM TOO TIRED FOR EVERYTHING!

The only thing that keeps me alive for now is the music shaking my ears

Me:
-Lack of experience
-slow learner/fast learner
-not really a team player
-always keep a positive attitude
-but when I started doing smthing, I'll finish it.
-willing to learn

I wonder if anyone would still hire me to their company.. Let me know.. I fucking hate my workplace and the owner. You hire me for doing smthing else, and you always told me to do smthing else that is not even related to my job. I'm not your fucking ass cleaner. = = you shit on that thing, you clean it yourself. Fucking fucking fuck!

Not here nor in my prior workplace I have seen any prank. And actually I like this a lot. Don't we have enough shit to go through to tease each other with antiquated, stupid tricks that weren't even funny in the century of their invention? Maybe I am just a humorless German,.. but wouldn't that be part of any professional attitude?

h3ll seemed to express a similar thing, but probably she deleted her account. So we are in devrant without hell. May the memes rule like in fezbook-h3ll.

Today marked my first year of full time development work. I am really grateful to my workplace for giving me this opportunity instead of wasting away in education for 4+ more years. I've learnt so much already and can't wait for more 😁

What I got from my secret santa at work! Do any of you guys have a workplace secret santa thing?

Today I got to work and could not find my computer anymore.

A little background: I am studying IT half of the time, the other half I work at a small software company. Today I came back from three months of University and wanted to start working again.

On the desk I worked the last six months is a laptop. I used a tower. So I asked where my PC went, but literally no one can tell my where it is. Some people think the admin gave it to some other person but saved the HDD somewhere, but he does not answer the phone and he is not in the office for another two days.

TL;DR I am sitting here, writing a rant and drinking coffee. I should have waited some days before showing up...

Hackathon going on at my workplace. It's midnight and still NOT feeling tired. 🙌

This is fucking 3rd time in this year my workplace have changed the timings of everyone's shift schedule.

Work rant :

I once had a code review and remembered I forgot to comment my code and said sorry I forgot to comment it out.

The reply I got?
Don't worry, here we say your code should be readable enough and no comments are required.

Im still amazed, like... Even if the code is readable, fuck this I need a tl;Dr comment for the long ass fucking code... What the fuck

Universe has been working in my favour lately 😜

I've been working for 6 months now, and the boss tells me he's not satisfied with my work compared to someone that has 15+ years experience. He clearly states that for him - it's more important lines of code, than planning and defining the architecture which he don't like because that doesn't provide anything...

Of course, I can just jump into the code if that is whats important. I've seen the code produced by the other guy, and its shit.

The guy is a talker, and knows how to talk. I'm more like, hey lets create a simple design prototype or do some UML diagrams to get a better visualization of what we need.

Anyway, its just annoying to be compared to someone with many years of experience, its not that I can achieve it overnight...

Tried to log into my laptop 4 times and got wrong password. Fumed for full 5 mins before realizing that I was using password of workplace laptop.

fml

In my whole 2 years I've been assigned to client, I've only once used a 1 day sick leave.

Meanwhile in the current team I'm working with for the past year (~12 people, consisted of internal and also external devs like me), there's an average of at least 3 sick people/week,

*sigh

Ironically, the missing persons doesn't actually made any difference to the team's productivity, it's always a shitshow every end of sprint 🤣🤣

At my incubation place they put up these new, shinny tables and cupboards.
I was hoping maybe they will put a coffee machine. Instead they shifted the printers.

Talk about aesthetics.

Life as a Software Engineering intern so far,
Travel 10 miles everyday from home to workplace.

Week 1: Understand the existing stack and start working on Django + Angular JS.
Task : Add something to existing documentation.

Week 2:
Task : Start working on existing product and improve request and response time for a particular module.

Week 3: Shift to new stack. Learn new stuff and start again.

Mandatory work policy for 9.5 hrs. FML

At my workplace a while back we got some new interns.
I had been explaining how to use the commands on our Linux server. While I was in mid-sentence talking about what shutdown does, the intern inputs the shutdown command; shutting down everything... not shortly after, I start getting bombarded with emails and calls...

Is anyone else close enough to his workplace to get there with a bicycle/walk easily?

So in my current workplace we have an IT department of... 7-8 people, with 3 developers (or 2.5, but that's debatable)

The oldest dev is old school, over 65 now came from Visual Basic, of course, and is a father of department's director - this is a story in of itself, but besides the point of this rant

Anywho, this dev is of course in this workplace way longer than me, and historically is in charge of finance and Microsoft CRM systems.

Guess the reason why Microsoft CRM was chosen at all in the company?

Because dev said he is not good with creating web forms from scratch, and apparently with MSCRM you can craft them without much trouble.

Yes, that's it, our MSCRM is used as a web application with custom forms that store data into custom DB tables that dev creates... nothing to do with actual CRM use cases.

I'm working as a software intern and the room where I work is almost always quiet. And then there's some people who come in and talk, but at that point I don't mind because it's better than straight silence. Anyway, yeah

I see people ranting about first going to google.com and then searching. The browsers at my workplace won't let you do a search in the address bar, not even in the search field that says Google.
So now I do the same thing at home and realize how stupid it is milliseconds later.
Not frustrating at all.

My boss wants to put an Amazon Echo Dot in the conference room. So I suggested covering it with a cheese cover (those glassy dome thingies). He thought it would be an artsy statement, but I was actually worried about privacy.

Anyone have any experience with listening devices in the workplace?

What do you guys wear to work? I usually go to work in jeans and T-shirt. And I grow a mustache and beard. But my cousin is suggesting me to do clean shave and wear formals to work everyday. He says that it'll make a good impression in the workplace, like I take work seriously.

I do get his point because I automatically give more respect to people who come to office in formals. But I don't feel comfortable working in formals. Moreover my workplace is very casual and my manager, TL, VP all wear jeans (even torn) and tee.

My workplace keeps moving more and more teams into the building, but the number of restrooms remains the same.

All it will take is one bad food-handling day in the cafeteria to enable battle royale mode.

It's a shame devRant has a character limit because a rant I have will hit the character limit 😂