Acknowledge my code 😂

I mean.. how hard is it to FUCKING INDENT CODE ??!!!?!?!!???!?

So today this Mother F**ker get HR to back him up to accuse me of not communicating well in the team because I consistently asked him (the code owner) why he kept coding not following the coding guideline.

How is it not communicating? He literally ghosted me and blocked me every time I ask him questions. Which I somewhat don't understand what he is trying to do. HR lady told me that a senior software engineer should have the knowledge to understand everything and all the code.

But the code looks like this :

Even your IDE is sick of that utter bullshit you call "code".

No-code platforms always like to forget that writing the code is *literally* the easiest part of software development 🙄

I’m surrounded by idiots.

I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.

Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!

While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.

To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.

He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.

This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.

It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.

This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.

The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.

What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.

No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.

Asdfajsdfk.

Found this aesthetic gem in an ionic project which I have to enhance now 👌🏻

Interviewer: "I'll checked your GitHub, your side projects looks very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies. "

Me:"Other hobbies? "

I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.

I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!

Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.

@dfox Can we have the option to include code blocks in rants and comments? So that they're formatted as monospace text? I mean we can get around it with pictures, but it would be a nice option to include code with an appropriate font. =)

Code works.
I'm happy.
Maybe she's happy.

Code doesn't work.
I look frustrated.
She's definitely not happy.

Theory:
The least experienced developers write code with the higest complexity.

A while back, I ranted about emojis in code.

My nightmares are becoming reality.

Behold, production code:

My devDuck is ill. I'm unable to code well.

My default algorithm

1. Applied to a tech company based in Seattle
2. Interviewed
3. Got rejected because "At the moment, they do not hire international students."

Then, why did you interview me in the first place? :')

"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live" - J.F. Woods

Interviewer: "Using this 2D array and calculate.."
Me: "This input isn't a 2D array though. Do you want me to parse or construct a 2D array then.."
"It is a 2D array."
"Uh.. ok..and if it's not what if we.."
"Look my notes say you must use this input, and treat it as a 2D Array"
"What if I wrote a function for a 2D array similar to this input, but actually a 2D array"
"You must use only the input provided"
Me: does rain dance code for 20 minutes.
Interviewer: "hmm, maybe it wasn't a 2D Array. I like your efforts but that's all the time we have today."

I promise I can code, sometimes. It does help to have correct questions to give correct answers.

haha, I've got to start adding this to all of my code...

The code reviewer does the same.

So apparently due to an extremely talkative x input driver and an error in a certain app, I've been running an emergent keylogger on my computer for half a year. On every keypress event, the driver would call the app, the app would segfault, the driver would log the incident including the event to /var/log and then crash, and the app would restart the worker. I noticed this when I started wondering why /var/log is over 100GB in size.

I built a feature. I asked questions for days. Nobody helped. I built it anyway, and while I'm not sure it's quite right, it works.

During a code review, I asked for clarification on who the fuck it's for. Simple fucking question. Didn't get an answer. I did get the same crap response twice, though. It's great because it both doesn't answer my question and makes things worse.

Let's refer to this as "branding." Here we go!

------

Root: "Should this be changed to blue? I'm not sure who the end-user is."

TC: "should be purple, then call it something more convenient" (...what?)

Root: "Better phrasing: if we use the feature, it should match our colors and be blue. If customers use it, it should match their colors and be red. It shouldn't be both. I looked through everything again, and i'm convinced that it's only for us, so it should be blue so it matches everything."

TC: "this should be purple, and then call it something [sic] red" (...what!? also: lolcopypaste)

------

But like, that's wrong in every single way. It's internal, not external. Doing both makes it confusing. Doing both and calling it external is fucking stupid. Did she even read the PR? or any of my questions? ugh.

I swear, it's like arguing with a boulder and expecting it to listen. An ugly, oversized boulder that comically resembles Jabba the Hutt. No joke.

Whatever, it can be purple. Later, if someone complains that it's confusing, I'll just link them to the damned PR. Then again, almost everything here is confusing AF, so I doubt anyone will actually notice.

Screw this place. So glad I'm on my way out.

Managers who don't code

The 1st rule of Javascript is: You don't admit you program Javascript.

The 1st rule of Rust is: You tell everyone you program Rust and how it is better than basically any programming language that existed or will exist.

The 1st rule of C++ is: There are no rules because everyone was too busy debugging templates to think of any rules.

The 1st rule of Java is: You must have excessive numbers of classes and boilerplate. The more boilerplate the better.

The 1st rule of Haskell is: It is great to learn, but you will never see it again once you leave college.

god i hate this company's product.

Visit merchant-facing sandbox -> 404. works after a refresh.

Log into sandbox with admin account -> redirects to a different signin url -> 500s -> signin no longer works.

wheeeeee!

Web api response with a 200 status code

{
error: ".......",
errorCode: "..."
}

Grinds my gears

Not everyone should code.

When you have to support over 20 years of legacy code.

The nightmare continues.

Currently dealing with a code review from a “principal” dev (one step above senior), who is unironically called a “legendary dev” by some coworkers. It’s painfully obvious he didn’t read the code, and just started complaining and nitpicking.

It’s full of requests to do things that make absolutely no sense, and would make the code an unmaintainable mess.
• Ex: moving the logic and data collection from the module’s many callers into the module instead of just passing in the data.
• Ex: hiding api endpoint declarations by placing them in the module itself, and using magic instance variables to pass data to it. Basically: using global functions and variables instead of explicit declarations and calls.
• Ex: moving the logic to determine which api endpoint to use, for all callers, into the view.

More comments about methods being “too complex” (barely holds water) right next to comments saying “why are these separate? merge them together!”

Incredulously asking how many times I’m checking permissions and how ridiculous it all is. (The answer? Twice.)

Conflating my “permissions” param and method names with a supposedly forthcoming permissions system overhaul, and saying I shouldn’t use permissions because my code will all have to get rewritten. Even if that were true, and it’s likely not, the ticket still needs to use the current permissions. I can’t just ignore them because they might be rewritten someday.

Requests to revert some code cleanup because the reviewer thought the previous heavily-nested and uncommented versions (with code duplication) were easier to read. Unsurprisingly, he wrote them.

On the same ticket, my boss wants me to remove all styling and clientside validation, debouncing, and error messages from a form. Says “success” and “connection failed” messages are good enough. The form in question sends SMS and email using arbitrary user input for addresses. He also says it shouldn’t be denounced on the server, and doesn’t want me to bother checking permissions. Hello, spam!

Related: the legendary dev reviewer says he can’t think of a reason why we would want to disable the feature for consumers, so I should remove the consumer feature flag.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Found in the source code of a site. Interesting.

These little mascots are protecting my server and ensuring only the cleanest of code is written 😂

My advisor thought that my MCL algorithm behaves a bit strange, so he wanted me to investigate it. I said I'd be happy to review the code because I anyway considered refactoring, and asked if I can have another pair of eyes to help me.
A more senior PhD student was assigned to help me, and by the suggestion of my advisor we tested my code against a very well-written and well-performing implementation of MCL. This implementation was written by another professor, who is a close friend of my advisor and the actual supervisor of the student assigned to help.
But this implementation was optimized for a very specific type of maps, and on the maps I worked on it just failed consistently. The student, in a misguided attempt to protect the pride of his advisor and subsequently his, wasted days adding code and fine-tuning the implementation.
In the meantime, my MCL has a stable configuration that converges on both types of maps. It behaves differently, but the outcome is about the same as the other implementation.
I am a little sick of wasting my time (week+) on someone else's attempt to reassure their ego, so I'm doing my planned research work on the weekend...

It’s simple.
coffee —> code
tea —> good code
hot chocolate —> great code !

code consists of many sad dudes.

big companies have the shittiest code.

Yes, high quality code...

My manager doesn’t like code comments, want us to remove from PRs 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

There ain’t no feeling like replacing 6 lines of code with 6 characters of Regex.

When your code finally works but you have no idea how:

Just spent 10+ hours refactoring a code, and at the end I've figure it out a one line fix to the problem... just wasted 10 hours of my life.. :)

You wanna know why PHP has such a poor reputation?
It's because of imbeciles who code like this:

When you check out some older code and realise you are not the brightest snowflake

I've told the same story multiple times but the subject of "painfully incompetent co-worker" just comes up so often.

I have one coworker who never really grew out of the mindset of a college student who just took "Intro to Programming". If a problem couldn't be solved with a textbook solution, then he would waste several weeks struggling with it until eventually someone else would pick up the ticket and finish it in a couple days. And if he found a janky workaround for a problem, he'd consider that problem "solved" and never think about it again.

He lasted less than a year before he quit and went off to get a job somewhere else, leaving the rest of our team to comb through his messy code and fix it. Unfortunately, our team is mostly split across multiple projects and our processes were kind of a mess until recently, so his work was a black box of code that had never been reviewed.

I opened the box and found only despair and regret. He was using deprecated features from older versions of the language to work around language bugs that no longer existed. He overused constants to a ridiculous degree (hundreds of constants, all of which are used exactly once in the entire codebase, stored in a single mutable map variable named "values" because why not). He didn't really seem to understand DRY at all. His code threw warnings in the IDE and had weird errors that were difficult to reproduce because there was just a whole pile of race conditions.

I ended up having to take a figurative hacksaw to it, ripping out huge sections of unnecessary crap and modernizing it to use recent language features to get rid of the deprecation warnings and intermittent errors. And then I went through the same process again for every other project he'd touched.

Good riddance.

Twitch returning errors with 200 status code

WHY
ARE
YOU
WRITING
CODE

VS Code acting sus today

001 REM Code review

010 PRINT "Nitpick nitpick nitpick nitpick nitpick"
011 GOSUB REFACTOR

020 PRINT "This function is too complicated, break it up"
021 GOSUB REFACTOR

030 PRINT "Why do you have three methods for this? Put all the logic in one method."
031 GOSUB REFACTOR

040 GOTO 020
041 REM ARGH

998 PRINT "Looks good."
999 STOP

Going live on a Friday night, and you haven't written any tests 🤗

karens on stack overflow...

A friend asking me to fix his bugs in the code.... But when I review his code .....

Omg

When you no longer understanding your code, the feeling 😂

it finally arrived

if (time >= 10)
{
SleepyTime();
}
else
{
WriteCode();
}

Code snippets without dependencies ❤️

IS IT REALLY SO FUCKING HARD TO CARE ABOUT CODE QUALITY AND READABILITY FFS

i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!

Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.

Starting to notice a trend that people who don’t write docs and say “the code documents itself” tend to write the worst fucking code imaginable.

"A good software developer writes good code. Better software developer deletes bad code."

Me, after using Generic types in some source code and deleting 250 lines effectively.

Do you think being a great software engineer is simply hard work and passion?
Or there is also a component of natural affinity, certain personality traits, etc.

I see AI autocorrecting code in ide before it gets compiled and complex ui getting exported from psd to code in few seconds

Boss: we can't accept your MR request until you fix the problems we highlighted, everything is blocked and the client is getting angry

My brother in Christ, I understand your concerns but I need you to understand: you decided to block a perfectly working and documented PR because you didn't like having "<!-- -->" in a couple of HTML files and menial bullshit like that.
It may not be the most elegant thing ever but don't put on me the responsibility of your blocks or I'll smash your face with the coffee mugs I've used to work until midnight so that you could deliver the product in time after someone else delayed the deadline twice already.
Thanks and get fucked ASAP.

Bond paper supply is coming, print that code EOD 🤣

The truth behind Ai

code != cold .....

Nightmare IRL:

Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.

You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.

Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.

Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.

PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"

FML

"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).

First code review ever, and it's for my job.

Guy was really nice and polite.
Even correctly guessed I don't have much experience with professional coding outside my associates degree and prior job where I was the only programmer most of the time I was there.

Said that since it works functionally and is such a small program there's nothing wrong with it if it meets our purposes ( low priority project )

Then he politely in his words 'nitpicks' 3 points and gives me ideas on how to make it more reliable and less likely to need replaced or completely refactoring in the future.

I think my first time getting code reviewed went well. And one of the things he mentioned was something I didn't know how to do and only took 20 some minutes to implement so I also learned something new from this

Short one, but it really gets me every time:

PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one typing hex-numbers in all caps!!!

I literally can't stand to see them in lowercase!!!

Every code I use with hex numbers in it (primarily ASM and C) I HAVE TO convert them into uppercase!!!

Is it just me and my stupid OCD or are there other ones like me????

I FUCKING HATE CODE INTERVIEWS

Don’t comment bad code—rewrite it.

I just joined a new organization and saw a single file with 9433 lines of code. Advance RIP to me.

I am so sick of code reviews. I hate them so much. If you can't discover a bottleneck in your development flow, put in a code review and there you go! Since I wish to work using continuous integration any work I do takes maximum of 1 day. Then you open up a PR (because our proprietary software with closed source needs to copy the workflow of an open source project) and one dev starts thinking of all the ways this could be done differently and what type of responsibilities each component has and how we should avoid this and that and fucking TWO WEEKS LATER WE'RE STILL DEBATING THIS SHIT! FUCK YOUR FUCKING CODE REVIEWS! CONTINUOUS INTEGRATION IS NOW OUT THE WINDOW YOU FUCKING TWATS! AND ITS JUST A FUCKING DIALOG ON THE UI THAT MIGHT POP UP ON 5% OF USERS SO WHO GIVES A SHIT!

No fucking wonder we feel like our work has no meaning when I'm spending two weeks on meaningless shit like this! Does it work? Yes it fucking does. So why are we debating this shit?!

Can we talk about something? I can't be the only one...

Code dreams.

What are they? You either sleep poorly, lightly, or not at all and continually repeat nonsensical code that you would otherwise KNOW is wrong when awake, (and it may even be a problem you already solved!) but for some reason your brain just wants you to mull over it over and over again.

I've been free of them for quite some time, but it happened now the past two nights. Drives me fucking nuts.

I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!

While I code...

I just watched this documentary called "take your pills" and seeing the weird programmer they interviewed I got curious about how many DevRanters use Addy as a coding booster? Would you consider it just a normal performance enhancer like caffeine? Have you tried it?

I've only noticed coffee heads like myself here and I was wondering if some of the people that aren't are against the use of Adderall too.

I'd love to hear some thoughts on the subject.

You don’t need to spend a dime in learning how to code 👨‍💻

With C3D your embedded systems code themselves!!!

Rainy morning days are the best days to code 😍

Y u no work code?!? hahah 😂

to code as little as possible next year

Nothing is as boring and frustrating as cloning a ripo from GitHub
run it then you get 3, 4 syntax errors
you fix them
then boom a library throws a hug ass exception

at that point I just delete the damn thing

developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:

do you guys ever use the mouse?

dress code really brings me to the reality of going back to the office

Really should stop not caring about access modifiers. Nearly everything I code is public.

My imperative dumb ass me trying to code in ocaml:
👁👄👁

In India, the most common languages are: English, Hindi & JavaScript.

Bad dev habit I'm trying to fix?

Code addiction.

I probably found this here but idc.

Sometimes my boss wants me to fire a bullet without a gun, they want me to throw the bullet so hard that it feels like it was shot via a gun.

Maintaining a legacy app sucks so bad when you don't even have the full codebase and some douche bag decided to just randomly throw the codebase on the fucking SVN. 😠

Manager : you are fired

Me: *pausing Netflix*
Me : why?

So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.

I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.

I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.

My LORD!!!!!
Trying to work on code and wife busy interrupting

after much cursing, my code starts to work.

This isn't about dev, but is related as it was one of my first times seeing how tech could be abused or used in a creative way.

When I was a kid doorbell ditching was a thing. Also, flashing was a thing. Dudes would be naked in a trench coat and flash random people. The 80s was a strange time.

Anyway, my brothers liked to pull pranks. So they took apart a flashlight and mounted a switch into some wires to hold in their hand. They wore a trench coat, had all their clothes on, but wired the light part of the flashlight to their belt at about crotch level.

Then they went to houses at night, rang the doorbell. When people opened the door they flung open their trench coat and blinked the flash light a couple of times and ran away. Everybody in the neighborhood thought it was hilarious.

Ever since then I have had an interest in repurposing technology and code for fun things.

Found this on prod

Don't know who did this but wwhhhyyyy do you need to add foreach loop😅

Just add directly

Find what you want to build. Watch some videos. Code. Grab some books. Code. Find some friends to code. Code.
And learn some theory to improve your code. Code.

Get a job. Code. Get paid.

Bad dev habit I am trying to fix: copy-pasting code without understanding

Habit I'm trying to fix?
Doing it all myself. I've been timeboxing my problems and forcing myself to ask instead of forcing myself to just figure it out myself. Communication isn't my strong point.

i tried it once, gave up after half a line of code

Code monkey see bad code.
Code monkey don’t say anything.
Nobody ask code monkey.
Linter see bad code too.
Nobody pay attention to linter.
Code monkey get more bananas on Thursday.
Code monkey grateful for bananas.
Maybe one day, code monkey make banana tree.

What's the funniest comment you've ever come across in someone else's code? 🙃

Code coverage

The “if” statement works the same in every* language, so if you can code in one language, you can code in most of them.

*Terms and conditions apply.

I geeked at this. Just, YES! 😂😂

Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works

There are devs who are chill. Then there's me. Deadlines give me anxiety. Being responsible for the code I didn't write and being blamed for the bugs I inherited stress me out.

PM: OK team. There seems to have been some confusion over card AAA-111. So from now on we need to be specific in the cards and make sure we have AC and a description of the issue

Devs: Thanks, we appreciate that

PM: makes card
Card: Why is it slow (yes, that's the actual card title)
Card: ... nothing else, completely blank

Devs: Wtf?

PM: these are supposed to be conversation starters guys!

Devs: JUST TELL US THE PROBLEM! WE'LL ASK WHEN WE NEED TO

The "code":

I’m trying to explain the theory behind ‘Rubber Duck Debugging’ and to be honest, they don’t believe me 😂 they say I’m drunk. Help me out here, who else uses a rubber duck or something similar to help debug code?

Just linked to this on a code review.

No matter how highly recognized your code is, it can’t bring the Inflation down

Fuck code, I am drunk!!!

Alright, it looks like everyone at this bank, a client, I work for will now start avoiding me. I'm usually the only person that takes the time to review PRs and give a feedback. Everyone just seem to click accept because they can't be bothered.

A few months down the line, they begin to wonder why there is so many tech all over the place.

Good luck to anyone that wants me to review their PRs. I pledge to continue to take the time to review PRs and give feedback. I will not be pressured to click the accept button on what I perceive to be sub-optimal code. So help me God.

Interns in any company the solution is commethe code

I'm stuck on a 2+ hours call which could be replaced by an e-mail. I just want to listen to "The Weeknd" and code.

Sometimes it takes too long to fix it :(

Have you ever encountered a situation like this before?

You worked in a team, made many adjustments in the codebase, and all the changes you've made are the best practice (after some research or asking the community).

But the team leader decided to go with the "messy" version of the code and the team leader does adjust the principle of "bad code" in favour of your coworker, just because he/she is a friend of the team leader.

So, whatever you adjust or contribute is simply nullified but any adjustments made by your coworker are considered "new updates".

Software development isn't just about code
Software development isn't just about code
Software development isn't just about code
Software development isn't just about code
Software development isn't just about code
Software development isn't just about code
Software development

In my current team, when someone else's code breaks, I fix it. When my code breaks, I also fix it. I feel like there's something wrong here...

Do you agree?

Junior: What are comments

Mid-level: Hah! My code is so clean, I don't NEED comments!

Senior: comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comments comme-...

When I have to apply a strong coat of
reverse engineering to understand an
open source codebase, what's the
point of being open.

 

No but really, the

WORKS ON MY BRAIN

movement is quite strong ..

Hell yea, gotta finish my prep project for my bachelor's thesis so I've been coding every day since the beginning of the holidays.

To be perfectly honest with you I love it! It's like a 9-5 job, no classes at uni, just work and coffee breaks and I even got to go back to my parent's house for two weeks which is wonderful.

I wish that uni could always be like that though, gotta make the most of those two weeks

100% AI written code/apps

There is a commercially sold ERP solution that has it's DB schema in excel and Other documentations in MS Word. And its not even properly structured, no schema diagrams, last updated for a 4 year old major release 😒😫.
I have to develop a custom module for it and that requires building an ActivexDLL Project in VB fucking 6 😭😭 .

VB6
Unstructured Documentation
Legacy code
Incomplete documentation
FML

Tell me if you want ss in comments.

Well-written source code is beautiful.
Ugly stuff should be re-written.

// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.

private static final int TEN = 10;
private static final double THOUSAND = 1000.0D;

[a copy-paste from our repo]

Definition of code reviews in our company:

"Part of work that requires you to scroll to the bottom of the page and click accept button. Looking the changes is optional."

The more I code the more i realize software was all about people.

For the love of sex, can someone help me out??!!

There is a VS Code extension that helps in creating a step-by-step tutorial of a codebase. Can someone please tell me its name?!

Google is a bitch today.

Sifting through a React class component that is over 1000 lines long.

When was this written? Not in the 1950s like you might think. Just over 3 months ago.

Kill me.

Cappuccino, Espresso, Espresso Doppio, Latte Macchiato...
Oh just basically caffeine... Makes the code more shiny!

Is it bad habit to code on bed?

Is writing code trully easier than reading it?

**Sees a different error after hours of debugging the previous one**

ME (crying inside) - What type of sorcery is this?

When you have to edit a 100+ line method but you discover that it has 0 test coverage.
Feels bad :/

This is so nice..💙😄

<Heading> 
Synopsis of Gita (religious book of Hindus)

<Stanza 1> 
Code is an illusion
Today you are coding
Tomorrow someone else would do it
Thereafter someone else

<Stanza 2>
What did you learn
That is helping you in this Project
What are you learning
That will help you in your next Project

<Stanza 3>
Bug is the truth of life
It is today, and will remain forever
You think you have debugged the Bug
You are wrong

<Stanza 4>
It is continuous
In various new forms
It pops up
Recognise it Parth (Son of Hindu God)

<Stanza 5>
That's why go on making Codes
Don't think about the Bug
They will come to you
On their own

No, the language is not stupid :) No, it is not a problem of the language, it's just the fact that you don't really understand how to use it properly :) i think this is something each of us hates to hear while frustated but needs to hear afterwards, bad design is a posibility tho, but 99.999% of the cases is our fault. face it, nd overcome it! and finally, to grow beyond it 😄

<<edited with my potato phone's standard image editor>>

Why are authors of highly performant code allergic to readability?

Continuing on the PR ranting.. That's six PR's in the queue now. The most important one took over a week to sort through because someone had a grand idea to generalize the work and that required a ton of changes. Great to receive that kind of feedback AFTER I've already done the work.. Then we waited on translations because can't miss those! Now the tests are failing. Not caused by me! Someone messed up the E2E tests. That's two weeks in the queue now.

Because one test is failing, that's a block across all the PR's. All of them have now been waiting multiple days in the queue. After someone manages to fix the broken test, all PR's go one by one into the QA testing queue and that takes 1-2 hours per branch to test and deploy to production.

Really love having a cycle time of four days for coloring a button differently! And the constant context switching.

I'm getting tired of coding. Not really the coding part, the dealing with people who tell me what to code and why part. Sort of considering making a move into a scrum master or PM role just so I can get fired when I say "No, we're not changing everything they've been working on in the middle of the sprint" or maybe "Yeah, no we're not going to put in a bunch of tickets to change the UI/UX without first talking to the designers, because that's what they do. Yes, I realize we aren't Facebook, but do you realize we "compete" with them because a huge number of people will compare our usability to theirs? (even if just subconsciously)"

In my college, our professors force us to work in turbo C despite having better options available.

I would not consider myself an overachiever by any means, but I must say, I'm quite satisfied with my contributions this year at the new (relatively speaking) job. I got to go back to writing code almost every day, all day, and that sure as hell beats being in meetings all the goddamn time.

Gitlab ratelimiting the CI from downloading the code. 🤡

Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works.

/me joining a new front-end project with enforced prettier rules to complete the build pipeline.

No double-quotes ! Single-quotes all the way !

- weird flex, but OK. I'll comply

No CRLF ! LF only !

- Ok, now you're starting to annoy me. With git autocrlf I can have my precious CR locally bu check in only LF and YOU CAN GIVE THE FUCK ABOUT WHAT LINE ENDINGS I USE LOCALLY WHEN EVERYTHING WILL BE CORRECT WHEN PUSHING COMMITS!

No semi-colons !

- Now I hate you

Devs these days, go all fancy with tech, cutting edge Uber cool shiny toys for designing a system.
Right tool for the right job is a passé. Now, the more you stuff bleeding tech buzz words, the design attracts admiration from bewildered management. [QUOTE] Again, nothing is true, everything is permitted.
Common sense is the craft and simplicity is the soul of efficiency.

I'm consitent.
I code once a year.

I prefer to build my solutions bottom-up, creating a component right after identifying the need for it but before whatever would be using it, because this gives me the flexibility to think about the problem in the general sense and produce an optimal solution without overspecialization.

VSCode's Rust plugin is a bit overzelous about dead code detection and runs it whenever the codebase is deemed to be correct, highlighting every item that isn't referenced from main, even if it is referenced from something else that's unreferenced.

Whenever I finally defeat the borrow checker and produce a correct solution my entire codebase lights up in yellow like a christmas tree and I'm completely addicted to this.

I went down a rabbit hole of code changes to try and delete a stupid for loop with a break in it.

It was super stupid and I gave up and submitted to the fact that some battles are not worth the time and stress.

OK... But seriously, It was returning multiple entities from the database, but we only always want the first one. My logic is that we should just go in there and fix the LINQ so we are explicitly getting one entity out.

But fuck that logic. No I'll have to change fucking everything that's tied to that method and expects a list from it. Every fucking thing. That includes error handling, parsing, for loops..... Nevermind...

You can have your foreach and your break. I'm taking mine, now.

They say in java Errors cannot be handled in developer code. But here my code handles a StackOverflowError. What is going on here?

Staring at my code like…

I'm fully convinced that VS Code is a fork of MS Word. How else could they manage to make their autocompletion features so disgustingly intrusive?

I'm actually surprised that it hasn't tried to capitalize the first letter of each sentence... yet.

I WISH TO END MY HTML TAGS WHEN I FUCKING WANT TO! I WANT TO WRITE A SINGLE QUOTE SIGN IF I WANT TO!

And fuck their fucking "Preferences" menu. Those dropdown boxes are absolute fucking garbage.

Fuck their fucking JSON fuckery. If they cant fit their custom settings into a GUI, it's gonna suck anyway.

Fuck their fucking CPU and RAM requirements. If it manages to lag on a Thinkpad T420, fuck it.

For everything that Microsoft has created, there's an objectively better alternative out there. I'll stick to fucking Atom.

JIRA life:

Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.

I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.

Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.

"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"

YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!

I am now a certified devloper🤣😂

Code works, don't know why 🤷‍♂️

Finished up my first Advent of code today with python 👌

Yo dawg, I heard you like writing code for code you already wrote. So I made you write some mock functions so you can write code for code you already wrote!

how to code with no bugs(99%).
it's like a bug condom.

Why comment on the same thing during code review??

I submitted a PR and had to make a design choice that propagated throughout the module i was working on.

During code review, my coworker commented on every...single...line that this change effected asking "why are we doing x here?" instead of just creating ONE SINGLE THREAD with this question for discussion. There were at least 10 review comments on github from their one review that said "why X?"

Is this normal? Ive only had a few programming jobs and this is the first time this has happened to me.

personally, when someone makes a choice like that, i just make a comment and save the rest of the review until that is addressed.

Everytime i find a 3 line solution for my 50+ line of code on stackoverflow.

Hey devs!!

I just can't stop myself from sharing this.

Its been two years now ... my junior is working. and now she is handling standalone WP projects.. but somehow her task got stucked so I was asked to help her.

So I just said check the count of variables and she messaged me with code .. Ma'am this isn't working .. Haha.. I mean come on she better can google out atleast for syntax :(

<?php if(count($content2 == 3) && count($interestt2 == 3))
{
print_r($content2);
print_r($interestt2);
}else{
echo "not checked";
}
?>

You can't make this stuff up:

Due to a bug in THEIR coding test software, I got forwarded on to create my profile and appy to companies, when I wasn't supposed to...

how much of a clown must that guy have felt like saying I can reapply again and try the code test again later - because of THEIR shitty site? i mean i'm had it about up to here by now

hahahaha won't have to worry about that because I won't be working with these clowns anymore

Most of the mockery and derisive talk at lunch was directed towards: middle management. - even if they were present at the table.

I too, have struggles with our PO: he was developer but is totally out of our development, what he kinda accepts and lets us do our stuff... BUT from time to time he wants to meddle with our architecture even though he is not even capable of writing more than a sentence into our ticket description, and his only "vision" is the KISS principle. Totally triggers me.

On the other hand I am also part time working as a scrum master and thus get to know the shit show from the other side: sitting between all parties with their particular, contradicting interests - all that shitty "politics" you don't have have to care about if you just code.

Ok finally, I can tell now.

There's a college project I'm in with 2 more people that uses Python and AnyLogic (separately).
We also need to write some LaTeX, so as I was already using PyCharm for the Pyshit, I used it for the LaTeX and for Git.
I used it for Git too because I didn't know how it used Git and was worried that if I used the console it didn't recognize something or glitched out or something. And what the hell, it's a mature IDE, what could be so hard or possibly go wrong?

I had to re download the repo a couple of times because between pushes, pulls, merges and commits something happened and the repo ended in a weird state.
These are all the things I do:
Add, commit, create branches, merge, push, pull and delete branches.

So, I hadn't opened in some time. The last time I tried to bring something from another branch, and stayed up late to finish something. I was waiting for my classmates to join the call when I thought something like "Hey, I should commit what I did until now, it worked great.". When I examined the IDE I found out I was in the middle of a rebase or something. I start clicking buttons to at least try to commit. I press "Skip Commit". I lose everything.

What the fuck‽ As you can see in the comprehensive list above, I never do something similar to a rebase. Apparently when I tried to merge a couple of branches, the stupid IDE thought I tried to do a rebase and never asked me to finish it. Why do something I have never asked? Plus, why haven't you prompted me to finish the operation? That's so stupid. I'm never trusting IDEs again.
I was so lit for losing so many hours of work I did a couple of weeks before, I would have to think it and do it all over again because of something I never asked.

We spent an hour looking for a way to recover the lost code.
Why an hour, you ask, if you can use the Local History for that in PyCharm?
Because none of us had used it before and the articles we found said that you had to open it from the toolbar. From the toolbar it was greyed out.
Then I found the option in the contextual menu of the files. Recovered the LaTeX files but on the AnyLogic files, it was greyed out.
I had to open the Local History of the folder containing the AnyLogic file.
And that was that.

I almost faint.
Fuck Python, fuck PyCharm.

IDK why I get annoyed by underscores before private member names... Is i it useful or just an old relic?

After how long do we delete the commented code

is "drunk coding" really a thing? i can't imagine how.

i prefer working code, so when i'm writing code, i need my brain to be working. the "benefits" of alcohol, like reducing social inhibitions, don't benefit source code.

That moment where you're scared for you job because one of your merges seemingly broke the builds for the 2nd time in a week, had HR reach out, a more senior developer take over the ticket after it gets sent back from testing twice ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONS TICKET THAT WAS CAUSING THE ISSUE

Drink a nice, cold Dr. Pepper. Caffeine to code

I never noticed the official name for git on the manual page is "the stupid content tracker"

We need a code shortcode here for more dev jokes.

[code]
if (int devrantpoints <= 10 && bathroombreak) {
cout << newrant ();
}
[/code]

The part where my code doesn't suck.

Corner painter extraordinaire.

So on top of having way too many hats at work and starting my master’s studies in a few weeks, I just had an idea for a game that’s too good to not start working on. I am drowning myself in shit to do. Again.

So ok, today was a crazy day.
New sprint, new ticket.
Work on the bug tickets first he said ….

Sure can. Oh had I just known that this very first innocent looking ticket is the way to coder‘s hell ….

‚Access of undefined‘ it said. Easy to fix, I thought.
Until I found the very same code twenty-fucking-two times over about 50 files!

Who would guess that exportSingleOperatorBooking, exportSeveralOperatorBookings, exportAllOperatorBookings (… and more) could in practically be the same? Nah, they all use different interfaces.
Oh wait, the alias type of the extended sub-interface of file misc.ts is the same logical content as a differently named interface below another different interface with the same content as in another ts file?
Wait that can‘t be. Riiiiight?? 😳

8h later I have barely scratched the surface of refactoring this shitshow of a project.
But no, I refuse to put the same error handling multiple times in different places.
I could have been done already. I could have saved my soul, my sanity. But I will be brave and strong to save the innocent developer that will cometh after me. For I shall be rewardeth for my sacrifice.
Amen.

Tensions building in my code...

Your code is 6ix9ine. Stupid, meaningless lines, and also a snitch, selling data left and right.

My code is always MF DOOM.

Wordpress: add content beneath the loop on category/archive pages. WHY IS THIS NOT JUST A PART OF ALL THEMES AT THIS POINT???

cool kids code in JavaScript