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reduxtris
8y

So I'm a entry level female Developer and I started a contract to hire position in July. Its my first job as a developer and I love almost everything about it. Except this..., there is a Senior Female Developer on my team who hates me and isn't shy about it. She goes for the throat man! She magnifies any mistake I make, hell she calls me out on things that people would consider positive. In sprint planning this week she got mad at me for pulling tasks from the backlog after finishing mine early. I've tried to do everything I could to make her like me. I patiently listen when she goes on and on about her damn cats, kids, sports, ah everything, and she is a non stop talker.

Her main problem with me, so she tells the head of engineering, is that I bug her too much. I almost laughed when I heard this was her main issue with me! Sure, I asked her the normal amount of newbie questions but it's not like I don't know how to read code or google! In fact I started avoiding talking to her about a month ago because she was so rude to me. Now getting hired on full time comes down to whether or not she can stand me still if I am working on another team. I'm so frustrated because it's impossible to prove my worth to this company with this crazy lady making me look bad. I have no problems with anyone else at work. In fact a lot of us have become good friends. No one understands why she hates me so much. It feels like middle school all over again.

On top of that there is an even newer hire who she is supposed to help bring on to the team, but because of her horrible management skills, I have become his defecto mentor for learning the project, as well as the technologies we use. The stress of being in an uncertain contract to hire position + tyrant coworker + helping the new guy + still learning and having my own work to do has been overwhelming! I don't know what to do other than hope that she doesn't try to sabotage me moving to a new team.

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godhelpme

female

developer
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  • 12
    8y
    Just hold on tigh and make your work stand more than her words.
  • 11
    8y
    You can't fight fire with fire, so best thing to do is avoid her, prove your worth to people higher than her and improve your skills, then she'll be begging to be your best friend.
  • 2
    8y
    best thing is to avoid her and go about your work with dedication. I have had two such mangers who picked me just because I was the junior most member in the team. Long term, you should consider leaving the team or company. Make sure you are on good terms with as many people as possible.
  • 1
    8y
    Now that is a rant! Hang in there, and be your best. Look for opportunities to demonstrate your value, and don't let her get under your skin. This too, will pass.
  • 1
    8y
    Your work is probably seen louder than her words already! Hang in there - one bad apple can really ruin an entire bunch.
  • 4
    8y
    Not much of a senior... I love helping junior devs, it's a learning experience all around and it's great to see them learn things, and apply what you teach them. The position this has put you in will only help you later, and no matter what happens, they can't take the experience away. Follow everyone's advice and stand out professionally, you'll come out on top.
  • 8
    8y
    She probably sees you as a threat, which might be a compliment in a weird way.

    Hope you manage to ignore her bitching. Coworkers who behave like this are totally arse!
  • 5
    8y
    @codeclod the best part of my day is helping juniors. nothing like seeing the lightbulb click in their head when they get something

    #ProudSeniorDevMoments
  • 7
    8y
    Rest of the guys got it summed up pretty well...

    Just like to add, schedule a meeting with her and take her for a coffee outside the office.

    Ask of her what you wish but do not lose your cool. If she doesn't warm up, end the conversation with "we don't have to be friends, although that would be nice, but while at the office lets make magic".

    Let your friends know. It will eventually get to powers that be and then you'll be noticed for conflict resolution too.
  • 1
    8y
    man. that really sucks! sorry you have to deal with this. remember that she's been at the job longer than you. which means, odds are, other people have experienced her unpleasantness too and are aware that you're not the cause. hope you can try to ignore it and keep on learning and succeeding!
  • 2
    8y
    OK. So her actions and attitude are affecting your ability to do your job and your mental health. In my opinion, ignoring her is not the right approach, and you mention you're in planning meetings and so on with her which suggests it's not even an option. It's also not right that your future depends solely on her.

    As someone has said already, first step is to meet her, call her out and try to make her understand the effect this is having on you. As nicely as you can. If that doesn't work, you have to go above her and make your case to bosses. I don't know where you live, but this could very legitimately be considered harassment in some places - it is not allowed. They would have to deal with it.

    And sadly (speaking from personal experience), it may come to the point where you have to leave. It would be up to you and your situation whether you just go somewhere else or make a legal deal out of it.
  • 1
    8y
    Sounds like she has a bit of Queen bee mentality. Either work it out or flag it up higher otherwise you're in for a shit time.
  • 1
    8y
    @reduxtris

    Rancid poisoning cannot be concluded during autopsy. Do with this information as you please..jk,jk.

    P.S. I don't support violence, don't blame it on me if you do something.
  • 1
    8y
    @edisonn I get your point, and ultimately that might be the reality.

    But people should not be forced to "suck up" someone else being vile towards them for no reason. Bullies should not be appeased or ignored. There is the possibility that superiors might not know how bad it is and could be willing to do something if it's pointed out.

    As I say, I've been through something similar on behalf of a close relation. They eventually had to leave the job for the reasons you've given - they were new and established staff got support of management even though they were in the wrong.
  • 3
    8y
    I have encountered people like this in my career. It is difficult to change a person like this. Try to make it work. Possibly she will leave. In my previous position we had 'skip level meetings' where staff spoke with the manager above their boss confidentially. At least one manager was fired because of how badly he treated his staff.

    If the situation continues and you see no solution in sight look for a better environment. Try not to quit without first securing a new job. Good luck and keep us informed.
  • 0
    8y
    She has already been complaining about me to the VP of Engineering! We are a really small team. When I met with the VP he explained that they can't lose her, but her feedback hasn't really been constructive and performance wise I am fine, so he is in a hard position. He doesn't want this to affect my career but he made it clear if it's me or her, they are going to chose her. Which is reasonable, and as I anticipated, she is a principle engineer. I only have one month left on this contract so hopefully I can figure this out quickly!
  • 0
    8y
    @reduxtris

    oh just stop wondering. you'll be working with dipshits all of your life. Getting out of there is actually a favour to you. Try to retain as many as you can positive connections with some of the devs and just find a new company. You should feel sad about her tbf. Imagine how bad is her life if she is taking it out on a junior dev.
  • 1
    8y
    @MrKind yeah I mean if I could find a new job before this contract ends I wouldn't worry, but these things are usually not an overnight process. I don't want to lose this job in the mean time. I just started so I have little savings to rely on if this goes south fast brah and I do feel sad for her, idk what made her so angry but whatever it was it must have been horrible, poor thing
  • 2
    8y
    @reduxtris any VP who is thinking "we can't lose person X", but "person X hates person Y", though "person Y hasn't shown to live up to person X's criticism" clearly doesn't have their priorities in order. If your team is fostering toxicity, that can't be good for your product.

    Nothing is likely to change, to be honest... People are fickle when personal differences come into play. My advice would be to find another gig as soon as possible, avoiding her as much as you can, but just enough to get your work done.

    Work isn't worth shit if you're unhappy. Sounds like this place may not be for you long term, but that's just one opinion. Good luck ☺
  • 1
    8y
    @edisonn To me, that depends what you call "winning". If you're going to continue to be miserable, under-appreciated and stifled from growing you career, I don't think you've won much.

    Whilst I totally agree that life sucks sometimes, in my opinion, the approach you're advocating is enabling a bully, and I have personal problems with that. But as I've already said, the end game might be exactly that, which is sad.

    I don't mean to get into a disagreement with you over word semantics. This thread is about the OP's unfortunate circumstances, not our opinions.
  • 0
    8y
    Well they let me go :(
  • 1
    8y
    @reduxtris

    grants. Wanna start some open source project?
  • 1
    8y
    @reduxtris no doubt youll find something better.

    when its not a fit....its not a fit.
  • 0
    8y
    @MrKind yeah sure haha
  • 2
    8y
    @edisonn sigh it's okay it's better for me to work on a team without cray cray. Front End, or Node developer. I'm pretty open to other things but that's where my experience is.
  • 2
    8y
    Just in a similar situation. You'll find something, those skills are in such high demand, and sounds like you're a competent and patient person. Good luck on the job hunt!!!
  • 1
    8y
    She won't change, get out and find somewhere they will respect you.
  • 2
    8y
    @humanbonsai thanks! I'm sorry you were in the same situation :(. It's the last thing us Jr Devs should have to deal with!
  • 2
    7y
    Update: I got a new job! Glad I was able to get out of there and put this position behind me! Onto the next!
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