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Happy April Fool's!
- Windows 8 == Best OS
- Apple is fairly priced
- PHP > C++
- Java === JavaScript
- facebook > devrant
- Github useless, use .zip
- Comic Sans best terminal font
- Nobody needs a web developer because Wordpress much better
- Linux is for virgins21 -
In my office, when a dev gets too talkative he/she gets boxed in and pretty much told to shut the hell up. 😂 #DevTimeout #LessFlapsMoreTaps
17 -
Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄5
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How the fuck did clients convince themselves they can have a developer build an Amazon, booking.com, Facebook, Airbnb or site of the sorts for 500 bucks on FUCKING WORDPRESS?!9
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Buy it, use it, break it, fix it
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it
View it, code it, jam - unlock it
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it
Turn it, leave it, start - format it10 -
this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.
13 -
Me in 1996:
<html>
<head>
<body>My first website! I'm gonna be a website developer!</body>
</head>
</html>
Me in 2021: I have no idea what all that stuff in Node is for. All I know is that my boss says I need Node and gulp to compile this website to add a comma to a paragraph on a page for this client.
gulp
*a metric ton of errors appears*
@%#$!15 -
So I went out to a country bar with some friends to dance... and my friend told some random dude I was a developer for some reason and he approached me with his grand idea for an app...😂
4 -
*attempting to flirt at the bar*
Hey! I'm a full stack developer, so I can do your frontend and your backend10 -
I'm in a few women in tech groups. A woman, who is a highly experienced developer, shared that she had a conversation with her male friend, who is a startup founder. He said that his criteria for recruitment are high levels of math and physics since high school and early interest in programming (e.g. age of 10). She said his criteria made her sad and excluded.
A fellow woman developer commented that it's reasonable to feel sad when you learn your good friend is an idiot. I snorted some Monster out of my nose reading this and I'm still coughing and chuckling.
To be honest, the founder's requirements do sound super ridiculous, and I imagine his startup is made up of clones of the same guy type, wearing different shades of gray t shirts and sandals with socks.58 -
Reddit: Every developer eventually either goes insane or becomes a farmer.
Dev: …I hope I become a farmer19 -
The worst part about being a web developer is when clients ruin a perfectly good website by asking for dumb things, even though you told them it's either:
a) near impossible
b) not useful/helpful to users
c) deprecated/no longer used code/techniques
e) will harm performance and SEO
d) just plain stupid8 -
Weirdest co-worker... We'll not to be judgy, but I think our industry is sort of home of the weirdos, but.. there's a few over-the-top weirdees we've had at work.
First one that comes to mind was a guy that walked liked Mr. Burns, hands behind the back & chest out. He microwaved the same thing every single day for breakfast - crackers, sausage and cheese. 😖This guy would get to his tasks very slowly, wouldn't talk to anyone on our team, and would go missing from his desk a lot, sometimes for extended periods (2+ hours). He really struggled to catch on to easy tasks. He quit after a few months, thank god.
Another weirdo we had was a girl who just couldn't dress to save her soul. She would wear these ugly ass sneakers that had neon colors reminiscent of bowling shoes (neon orange and green) and would wear turtlenecks and floor length skirts that all the colors just clashed. Her outfits were uglier than your great grandma's. Myself, her and 2 other girls dressed up as the Dr. Seuss things for Halloween, but did h1, h2, etc. tags instead and she put like rope from curtains in her hair with like 10 little pony tails. Just like wtf. She would play her gameboy at lunch and not talk to anyone much. She was really bad at our job, a lot of clients complained. She would literally read a book, braid her bangs or nap at her desk. Needless to say, she was fired.6 -
I recently gave an interview in a software company, and was rejected cause I took half a minute to connect my webcam and turn on my video 🤷.
I had just moved into an apartment at that time, so my place was not well managed. I attended the meeting in time but didn't have my webcam turned on. They asked me and it just took half a minute for me to turn on and start the meeting. Everything went well there, and they asked me to complete their coding challenge which was a development task. It was a huge task where I had to build a full-stack app (frontend + backend) with basic crud and auth features. I completed that in 2 days and presented it to their tech lead. He loved my work, he was impressed that I was able to complete their challenge in such a short time.
They said they will get back, and after a few weeks, they said that I was rejected. I reached out to ask for constructive feedback on why I was rejected and they said:
“Communication during the interview - interview
preparation: the video wasn't available at the start and needed to check the headset at the start of the meeting” 🙈7 -
Every day I feel like Dr. Leonard McCoy.
"I'm an automation expert, not a ..."
* DBA
* ElasticSearch administrator
* Kafka Architect
* Email marketing specialist
* SEO Analyst
* Front end developer
* Doctor
* Project manager
* Accountant8 -
Frequently used answers :)
UI developer - I think API is not working
Backend developer - Front end is not sending the request correctly
Tester - Testing! Testing!
UI/UX - As per android/ios standards...
QA - Let me check one more time
PM - Let us have another meeting and get on the same page
Dev-Ops - It's very complicated you know
CTO - We're working on a next-gen solution
Founder - Let us build something that no one has built, something similar to what google...facebook...
Cridits: My EX-CPO5 -
I met a rather talented developer some time ago that is highly proficient in C# as well as React and Angular for the creation of web programs.
Dude knows the ins and outs of C#, has been working on it since the early stages of ASP.NET.
I am always intrigued as to why certain people chose certain languages. When I asked him, he admitted to being very lost during his early days, and somehow settled on C# because of the file extension being cs, which made him think that it was the proper Computer Science programming language, get it? because of CS?
Now a days he does use a wide variety of stacks and languages, and he keeps up to date, not one of those "I don't need to learn anything new!" types of developers, the dude is absolutely l337, but i keep thinking that such a talented developer had such a funny start.5 -
Everything is a fucking priority.
According to the management, everything should be done yesterday already.
Gave me a single designer and developer while asking asking me to deliver long term and short term initiatives at the same time.
Morons.8 -
I finally landed a job as a self taught developer. After countless rejections, ghostings, interviews and assessments, I finally did it. The HR literally called me back 5 minutes after the second interview with a job offer. It’s honestly is just so surreal.2
-
I was working with a guy 3 years ago, he was junior web developer. Lazy for work, watching YouTube and game streamers all day long at the office. Sometimes i was fixing his crappy code.
And ... one week ago I was surprised seeing this guy come to my current work office as senior web developer.
Im also new at this office and i had good impression i was working with professionals before this happened. Guess what... This guy hasnt changed much. Still writes crappy code , no idea of clean code at all.
I got concerns about my work place now :/ thinking to change it.6 -
Remember that time I taught a "senior" full stack developer what the HTTP PATCH verb was, DURING an interview?
Didn't get the job.
Yeah. Those were good times.2 -
A web developer has started working on my windows.
How should I communicate with it that I don't want a website outside my windows? Will this be considered a covid layoff if I just throw it off the said window? 🤔
P. S. I'm talking about a spider, icymi.13 -
A personal memo to all developers on devRant:
* Assume every external line of code, (including every service you consume) is an unreliable crock of flaming shit. These services can and will fail in the most glorious ways. Write your code to be resilient, and ASSUME FAILURE of dependencies. Even if it's your own team writing the other service.
Heard in a meeting today: "Your team's service outage is going to cause my service to corrupt the database!"
Response I wanted to give: "No, you asshat, my service outage is a normal part of living with microservices. Your app should have been smart enough to recognize the failure."8 -
So one day on tech huddle my tech lead got frustrated, don't know why and told me - "the tasks you're doing can be done by interns"
I felt bad. Ofcourse I was putting my 100%.
That day I decided to put the resignation. I didn't discussed with anyone about it and sent the resignation email directly.
After serving 2 months of notice period I was able to land a better job successfully!
I called the lead on the last working day in that company and shared him the news about my offer letter and a little about the company.
His first question was - "Did you cleared all the interview process?"
In my mind - "That's only why I'm sharing the news here with you man! Stop thinking of me as a noob."
I replied with - "yes, if needed/the new company try to get feedback about me then please be honest atleast there by keeping your ego aside."
You shouldn't pull someone's leg if you aren't able to climb higher!!
Lesson I learnt;
DON'T STAY AT A PLACE WHERE THERE'S NO VALUE OF YOUR WORK AND THE DEDICATION TOWARDS IT!
Working in a startup isn't that easy, mostly for those where there's no work life balance.2 -
We had all hands on developer meeting. There were 2 interesting bullet points:
- deliver fast
- make quality applications
I mean, these two points are not correlated 🙈10 -
My tech lead keeps assigning me incident tickets in the company's worst legacy app because I solved some bug in it a while ago. I'm the only one who gets assigned these.
If this keeps going, I know for sure that I will be regarded as the designated developer for this application. Then I will be truly fucked.5 -
My job title on paper:
"Application developer"
How I'm introduced to interview candidates:
"Senior software engineer"
Does anyone else see a problem here? 🤔8 -
(developer thing)
I am trying to build code from the last 4 or 4:30 hours at office and she message me
She : it's urgent.. call me
Me : me();
(THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID 🙄)4 -
"A good software developer writes good code. Better software developer deletes bad code."
Me, after using Generic types in some source code and deleting 250 lines effectively.7 -
I pay over $100 per year for Apple's piece of shit developer program and the app store connect website isn't even accessible right now.
Great.4 -
Lie in the interview saying he was a frontend web developer and try to hide the fact that they didn't know JS. Wtf.6
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How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.
I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.
Thank for listening. Have a great day.15 -
[wordpress trigger warning]
Had an idiotic colleague who re-implemented the insert image function as a shortcode. A “senior php developer”. No, I’m not kidding.
Him: “But this way we can set a class”
Me: “As you can with the standard mode”
Him “No you can’t”
Me: *shows*
Him (smiling): “well why don’t you remove my stuff then?”7 -
"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).
5 -
Why is naming stuff so difficult? 🤬😡
Spent the last hour thinking of an appropriate name for an enum20 -
Face it, being a developer is no longer about solving complex problems which in turn makes life easier. It’s about ….15
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MMMH DEVELOPER PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT THAT GREAT... YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL MAKE SURE THEY SPEND 90% OF THEIR TIME IN FUCKING CONFERENCE CALLS, THAT IS SURELY GOING TO HELP THEM GET THEIR JOB DONE
Some manager at my company, probably.2 -
Why is it what so many developers think that they are the sole genius surrounded by idiots and completely lack in interpersonal skills or the ability to see other people's arguments as valid? Honestly, with some people it's like working with an emotionally stunted teenager. I literally spoke to someone yesterday who thinks it's impossible to come to a compromise or agreement about anything unless there is a third party to arbitrate and mindlessly insists on his own way in literally every disagreement, even after admitting his logic is faulty. It's like watching a spotty 17 year old argue about politics online I swear it.5
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Fun fact: I got my first job on starting of week 77 as a developer. Coincidence! I hope not.
Even devrant syncs with my life now.2 -
An hour of developer time: $50
An HDMI to USB-C dongle: $30
Only being issuing each developer 1 dongle and not letting them have an extra under any conditions because that would be "wasteful": The Process
There are some things in life that don't make you homicidal for everything else there's management.3 -
Gotta love npm open source packages
A developer appears to have purposefully corrupted a pair of open-source libraries on GitHub and software registry npm — “faker.js” and “colors.js”
https://snyk.io/blog/...
https://theverge.com/platform/amp/...
https://github.com/Marak/colors.js/...16 -
Startup companies be like "we are hiring full stack developer"
Full Stack Developer = the entire IT department 😏3 -
someone: so what do you do?
me: I'm a software developer
someone: oh, can you design me a logo?
me: no
someone: something simple, I'm sure...
me: NO, IT'S NOT MY F***ING JOB6 -
developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:
2 -
Job title: python developer (entry level)
“We are looking for a dot net developer…”
Wtf make up your mind lol2 -
Another day, another time exporting svgs from Figma, sizing them, and exporting them to png into our app as the developer.
But no, I get it, what designers do is extremely taxing on the brain and any additional steps must be excruciating! Let me do anything that requires even the lowest of double-digit IQ! After all, I'm your local resident full stack clown™️!
🤡4 -
To,
GOOGLE CHROME
F**K U
the sh*ttiest browser ever
Thanking you,
yours faithfully,
annoyed developer8 -
If you claim that you are a senior developer and you need help fixing something that you broke and your entire question is ‘Please help me fix it I don’t understand’, then go fuck yourself.3
-
Holy Fuck Shit!!!!!!
Being a developer
Being a technical assistant
Soon to be a father;
Shit
Not really prepared for this5 -
The worst thing I've seen a developer do would be becoming a university teacher while not being able to understand simple OOP or good programming practices.
I can't think of a most harmful one, just mediocrity cultivating unknowingly mediocre devs.2 -
Both Conservancy and the Git project are aware that the initial branch name, ‘master’, is offensive to some people and we empathize with those hurt by the use of that term.
Offensive my butt. It's not like any developer alive today had experienced the life of a slave. It's all in the past. Should I get offended by imperial Japanese flag?20 -
ComputerToucher: *opens Jira ticket* Dev team needs tokens for the APM for a new app with multiple tenants. Ezpz. Hey, developer. Do you want one golden token for all of your app tenants or would you like us to generate one token for each?
Developer: Let’s have a meeting to discuss it.
CT: It’s…an exceedingly simple question. One token or 4? Which does your app support?
Dev: Yeah I think we should discuss with this with the platform team, can you set up the call?
CT: (Internally) I am the platform team? Do you not know how your applica-never mind I’ll just ask the PM directly.
CT (in chat): I’ll ask PM to schedule the call.
*Goes back to Jira ticket, changes priority to 4, removes ticket from sprint entirely, picks something else to work on*6 -
My mom told me to take the spider out instead of killing it..
So i did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.4 -
Developing pornographic / adult themed apps- would you be willing to do it? If not why, if so why? How does one become a developer for a platform like pornhub?48
-
So today my pr needed approval. One of the lines of code created a unique ID using the uuid4 functionality.
I got a reject saying I didn't handle a case where I would get the same uuid twice.
Well, I guess it would be the problem of the developer working on my code in a couple thousands of years 🤷♂️2 -
My company outsourced project to another developer. First MR he made was 3500 lines. Looking forward to it.5
-
Me: I've not done this before, so any guess would be pure assumption.
Client: Okay, but still, you would have some idea, right?
Me: It might get done in 3 days or may take even 30.
After 3 days:
Client: But you said that it will be done in 3 days. Now you are saying there MVP is not ready. Do you even know, your part is the most critical one in the project. We believed in you. We trusted you. This is insane. It was a wrong decision to choose you.
Me (in my head): Didn't I say, this is the first time I am trying to scrape Coles? It might take time?
Me (in actual): I understand, it is getting delayed. Am trying to get this up ASAP....
Anyone else experienced toxic clients but still didn't lose their cool?14 -
been a developer for 8 years (after college) and its somehow just dawned on me that no, architecture is not you projects folder structure :/4
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Person: Can you suggest me some good resource for learning JavaScript?
Developer: You don't Know JS
Person: (Gets offended) I know JS, I wish to have in depth knowledge for JavaScript.
Developer: Hmmm.....3 -
I’m being moved from a lead developer role to a lead project management role. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, manage projects of those who can.2
-
Two states of a developer every day:
• Fuck this job. I hate everyone and everything. My code sucks. It's not working. Why did I choose this career?! I am so miserable.
• It works! I'm a programmer god. Oh my goodness I'm smarter than everybody.
4 -
Ah the managers have come up with a new term we need to implement: "SEO Doubleposting"
I must bow down to their technical genius and prowess, I've never heard it before, it must be high tech term beyond my 10+ years of being a developer.5 -
Why the fuck they keep insisting a backend developer to do frontend shit?
No fucking shit I'm slow on this crap. And i told them several times it's not my forte.And they keep inisting to keeping a high standard blah blah blah
Ffs just hire a frontend already.
I'll find another job. I don't care at this point.6 -
Before becoming a developer I used to work in IT, and I really liked the fact that I can solve so many computer problems and the troubleshooting part.
Now I just feel very stupid when something is not working the way it's supposed to do.3 -
Anyone wanting to improve OpenSSL fulltime?
Understanding of Cryptography or ability to write secure code are not required...
https://openssl.org/blog/blog/...4 -
3rd week at my first developer job. Did a couple PRs with the help of my mentor. Still feel absolutely useless. I feel like a complete imposter.11
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Absolutely new to programming world and devrent. And looking for some advice on were to begin for a Web developer16
-
Your profile is in consideration.
Week-1
HR: We'll let you know.
Week-2
HR: You're one of the top 3 under consideration.
Week-3
**HR won't answer/reply to text/emails
Week-4
I accepted the truth.
Corporate world: Welcome to the employee life!
This was my first ever interview, referred by a guy I met on LinkedIn.5 -
IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD
1) A CONTROLLER RETURNS HTTP RESPONSES, computed using data received from
2) A SERVICE\MANAGER\YOURMOTHER, which fetches data from a DB\external service\whatever
LITERALLY 2 FUCKING STEPS. I'LL TAKE THAT "SENIOR" IN YOUR TITLE AND CHISEL IT ON YOUR FOREHEAD SO YOU'LL REMEMBER WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WHEN YOU COMMIT THIS FUCKING GARBAGE1 -
Idk why but when I act like a fucking loser and watch YouTube and not exercise and eat junk food all day, I do better as a developer. Why?!?!2
-
I have a friend, he's name is Joe, he's a Tarantula and he's the only web developer I've seen that loves bugs.3
-
What game engine would you recommend to an indie developer? The type who can't afford a fucking server to run the bloated and buggy unity editor but is actually a developer so isn't afraid of typing.
I've had enough of the improper sandboxing (will crash bc of game scripts), tempfile-based crash-unaware instance tracking (won't restart afterwards) and lack of UI scaling (seriously, that's like accessibility/retina support basics) that is the unity editor. If they had command line tools I'd use them happily.11 -
When scrum master/agile coach sais "I know, I used to be a developer myself." ....
Do they think it makes me trust them and drop my point?
Honestly all I think is "well, plenty of bad devs out there, and there's a reason you'r not doing it anymore"3 -
Consulting/contracting for a company, and their lead developer/ops guy quits without warning. This leaves me as the only one with the somewhat technical know how but without access to do anything to move any changes to production....4
-
!rant I agreed to be interviewed for a podcast for a developer community I’m part of and it’s scheduled for tomorrow morning and I’m kind of freaking out.
Also, procrastinating writing a bio and submitting a photo. Still. I was asked to do the interview almost a month ago. 😅9 -
Do you ever feel like some days are so damn monotonous? I’m nearing 10 years in the industry and lately my world consists solely of Plug-in development, templated or basic sites, PRs, and documentation galore. How do y’all keep your brain from turning to pure mush? Learning anything cool/new? The Burn out is real. 😖3
-
Here are some facts I found out recently when my linter threw some errors. Just wanted to share with the community. Add anything in the commnets that you wanna share that others don't know.
10 -
My dream project is to continue and improve my gaming website. It's a blog & community that's supportive of (but not limited to) female gamers. It's a positive place for gamers of any type to go, judgement free.
I have so many big ideas for the site, a forum, possibly user profiles, gaming quizzes and trivia, lots more ways to interact. I would love to do like a "find the right game for you" type of thing and have more time to blog..but I just simply don't have the time right now. :(
Baby steps for now. 🎮4 -
I have been a developer in one company or another for over 27+ years. Today I had to dismiss / fire / let go of a recently hired developer (a Senior by career length) on one of the teams I now manage. Basically imposter syndrome compounded with an inability to communicate a need for support (even when we reached out daily to assist).
When I had to let this person go I felt all the times when it happened to my colleagues , and to me. Like a thousand knives stabbing . It wasn’t easy.
It’s of course not easy to be dismissed . But it’s also not easy to be the one to dismiss.5 -
!dev *applies to vacancy that says they're looking for someone with 2 years experience in Java, which I have*
*their reply later*: "We're looking for someone who aligns more with our technology needs"
I'm sorry, what? You're explicitly looking for a Java developer, your entire vacancy lists Java skills, yet this is your answer.
What the f. lol2 -
I’m so fucking tired of having to work with shitty code day in and day out and not being able to optimize it. I want to quit so bad without having a job lined up… I fucking hate being a developer now thanks to these fucking pieces of shit.7
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A legacy custom made WordPress Theme.
Old developer made main styling sheet with 8000+ lines of code with no component separation. -
I took a job with a software company to manage their product, which was a SaaS property maintenance system for real estate, social housing, etc.
There was no charge to real estate agents to use it but maintenance contractors had to use credits to take a job, which they pre-purchased. They recharged their credit costs back to the real estate agent on their invoice).
Whether this pricing model is good or not, that's what it was. So, in I came, and one of the first things management wanted me to deal with was a long-standing problem where nobody in the company ever considered a contractor's credits could go into the negative. That is, they bought some credits once, then kept taking jobs (and getting the real estate agent to pay for the credits), and went into negative credits, never paying another cent to this software company.
So, I worked with product and sales and finance and the developers to create a series of stories to help get contractors' back into positive credits with some incentives, and most certainly preventing anyone getting negative again.
The code was all tested, all was good, and this was the whole sprint. We released it ...
... and then suddenly real estate agents were complaining reminders to inspect properties were being missed and all sorts of other date-related events were screwed up.
I couldn't understand how this happened. I spoke with the software manager and he said he added a couple of other pieces of code into the release.
In particular, the year prior someone complained a date on a report was too squished and suggested a two-digit year be used. Some atrocious software developer worked on it who, quite seriously, didn't simply change the formatting of that one report. No, he modified the code everywhere to literally store two-digit years in the database. This code sat unreleased for a year and then .... for no perceivable reason, the moron software manager decided he'd throw it into this sprint without telling me or anybody else, or without it being tested.
I told him to rollback but he said he'd already had developers fixing the problems as they came up. He seemed to be confident they'd sort it out soon.
Yet, as the day went on more and more issues arose. I spoke to him with the rest of the management team and said we need to revert the code but he said they couldn't because they hadn't been making pull requests that were exclusive to specific tickets but instead contained lots of work all in one. He didn't think they could detangle it and said the only way to fix was "play whack-a-mole" when issues came up.
I only stayed in that company for three months; there was simply way too much shit to fix and to this day I still have no idea the reasoning that went on in the head of anyone involved with that piece of code.2 -
X : What do you do?
Me : I am an embedded software developer
X: So you develop software?
Me: Yes, but my software works on BareMetal.
X: So you work in a metal workshop.
Me: -_-3 -
Client wants some CMS text to be automatically translated. So I checked and Google seems to have a solution for that. I thought to to be as simpel as doing a request and parsing the response. That's how API's work, right?
No. First I must create an account, that account must have a credit card, then I need to setup credentials, the default ones working with path variables, an API key... etc etc etc.
I feel so stupid for just not understanding their docs. I'm just a dude that installs a CMS and makes pretty CSS for it. I've worked with REST APIs before (Mollie, Carerix) but none of them ever demanded the level of knowledge and setup the Google Translate API demands.
Am I just a bad developer or is this shit just too complex for your average web developer?9 -
Aaagh...... 2022 this year has been shity for real..
So its now 1 year and I've been a fullstack developer for this mid tech company as the only developer
so I've been trying to get these guys to hire a second developer. and try to also upgrade equipment and these guys didnt even bother to attend to my requests and during my evaluation meeting on friday these guys where down my neck about why projects are taking time to complete i MEAN WTF!!!!! told them its bcoz Im a 1 man army and most of the times Im chocked with the "any other duty" thing and how tha fuck do they expect them projects to be done on time
I'm the only developer some times i get sick 2weeks and where i left off is were i continue from and thats 2 weeks work of progress down the drain
I'm so fucking pieced off ryt now I feel like droping this shity job and find a much better organization
they want me to build them a developer department and they dont even equip me with the necessary tools to do so WTF do they think they are doing they think they know better than me?
so let them build their fucking dev department without me
this has been a fucking stressful experiance
wrote them a later to hire a second developer
I dont fucking care how they are going to do it
contracting or an internal dev if they dont in the next 3 months I fucking leaving this shit7 -
Looking at new jobs in my area. This company is looking for an entry level full stack developer with “eights” years of experience. And preferred to have a masters degree. Probably only paying half the normal rate I bet too.
4 -
Gotta love having developer friends you can trust to help you out when stuck, this goes to all you unsung heroes!
-
When a client reaches out to me, I'm like:
404 Fucks Not Found. This is not the web developer you're looking for.2 -
They say in java Errors cannot be handled in developer code. But here my code handles a StackOverflowError. What is going on here?
16 -
How is the shopify developer experience actually so bad.
Shopify Buy JS docs suck
Product ID's are inconsistent
Token management is not built into GUI2 -
HR: "you are the highest paid dev on team"
Dev: Then not just me, the entire team should get a hike 🥴
HRs are hired because they are good negotiators.
#aFriendsStoryAtABigMNC -
I am working on a personal project for 4 years now and after year 1 I learned something:
Write your code as if every other developer is stupid.
Because you are that developer in a year.3 -
Boss asks if the project will be finished today, I reply ‘yes’ and then realised I’d not pushed my code after working from home the previous day! Doh!1
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A wife asks her developer husband to go to the store and get a loaf of bread. She also says that if they have eggs, get a dozen.
He comes back with 12 loaves of bread.6 -
me: reviewing an old ticket relevant to testing a similar area of a ticket im working on as a developer
"QA Note
Please don't ask me where to find one of these, because I don’t know"
the retired QA who worked on this ticket also didn't write where to find the thing
well fuck me alright3 -
Hey, guys, little help here I am about to graduate and I want a job as Linux support engineer or junior sysadmin but apparently, the job experience required for these jobs is 1-2 years. Any suggestions how should I proceed with this because my other option will be to opt for software developer then.
Thanks in advance.3 -
hey, devs! A Question
As a student developer how to find the best opportunities and internships????8 -
I told the interviewer I was a rockstar developer.
I didn't tell him I meant rockstar in the "take loads of drugs and trash the hotel room" sense.1 -
Am I the only one that cringes when I see software developer consistently ranked as one of the best jobs to have? Are other jobs that horrible that this is as good as it gets? I’m probably too cynical I suppose.
I feel like I was seduced by the fun of programming only to have the corporate enterprise suck my soul dry.9 -
Learn Rust and Elixir because of my hopefully new and exciting role. I want to become production ready developer for these languages as quickly as possible. But more than anything I want my new role not making me hate my profession.
And also I would like to start a long duration relationship. Can’t have it all though.3 -
For a long time I could not understand how do people put up with watching ads in Android apps. Then it dawned upon me: they grew up like this and they never had a proper classic old-school desktop experience. Back in the day it was unimaginable to have intrusive ads. I will never put up with intrusive ads. I despise it
Now even developer tools have ads, like Docker or NPM8 -
My favorite thing at my desk is my adult coloring book. I'm a developer/project manager hybrid so I have to deal directly with the clients AND build their sites. 🙄👎🏼 Coloring in this is very therapeutic; the sayings are hilariously vulgar.😆👌🏼
2 -
WORDPRESSS DEVELOPERS:
What’s your #1 tip for getting started in this role? Useful training site or video? What’s best to focus on first? Hooks? I need all the juicy deets! 🙌🏻9 -
That moment where you're scared for you job because one of your merges seemingly broke the builds for the 2nd time in a week, had HR reach out, a more senior developer take over the ticket after it gets sent back from testing twice ONLY TO FIND OUT LATER IT WAS ANOTHER PERSONS TICKET THAT WAS CAUSING THE ISSUE8
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Has anyone else noticed salaries dropping a bit for devs on job listings? Seems to be 20k less a year than they were advertising before!
Recession hitting it seems!6 -
I'm starting to rethink the 'Software Developer' title as 'Sanity Maintainer'...
Software Development is just convoluted.. and it often comes with stress; I hate stress.2 -
Recently, our backend team has gotten smaller. The company has stopped the collaboration with the company of the backend lead developer.
We are currently lacking backend developers while we have way too many frontend developers right now (compared to backend).
How can I, as a front-end developer, switch to back-end?4 -
Hey guys! I'm new here, and also in programming... I'm finishing my studies in Python and I would like to ask you a question, if I can... what else should I learn that would help me? I intend to start my "career" as a web developer, at least for now... did I do it right? am i starting wrong?12
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How do I interview or access a potential teammate? What are the things to look out for and what are the appropriate questions to ask?
FYI: I am a Frontend Developer2 -
Im kind of a generalist. So i applied for anything in the companies i was interested and picked the highest paying one that had no or few red flags. So now im a full stack developer mostly focused on backend.
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I am looking at replacing my Dell XPS 15 from 2019, but because I work 100% remote I am considering building a desktop developer rig instead of getting a new laptop. I have only had laptops since early 2000s, but thought it would be fun building something from scratch again. The problem is I have fallen tragically behind on everything hardware, and therefore looking for some pointers.
I don't want an RGB rainbow unit with 6 loud fans requiring a noise cancelling headset to work on. I want a top spec, stealthy thing that has all the goodies but also runs quiet. A decent graphics card that can run the latest games at a decent frame rate, but not the top of the line either.
Any tips on cases, motherboards, RAM, drives, fans and grahpics cards appreciated. The budget is roomy, comparable to a top spec Dell XPS 15 or ThinkPad X1 Extreme.12 -
StackOverflow gatekeepers: "Voting is already communicating." Maybe it is, but in such a minimal way like an error message saying "an error occurred". Sadly this is current UX as well as long as nerds are in charge. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be a developer. Are we human or robots?3
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Sometimes, all you just need is to...
Disconnect yourself from everyone and everything for some time, and find a place where you find peace of mind and comfort.
Direct communication with your inner soul which is also known as healthy self-talk gives all the answers and helps you find the way to move ahead.
Self-motivation works wonders, remember that!1 -
Hello world, im new here, so one question, who likes the apple developer documentation and do you have an alternative?7
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A new year, a new job.
After a years hard graft learning front end code I finally landed my first dev job!
Even though the job is a while away, there will be nothing stopping me getting there and learning all I can in this industry.
#bosh2 -
Good morning devs let’s rock this weekend 🥳
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.
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.
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.
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Or
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.
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You’re going to do something productive? 😎
12 -
LinkedIn is a really nice tool and website... and then there are people who contact you to become the only developer in a new startup and work for free in exchange of company shares, that at this moment are worthless. Wtf5
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If you are a graduate/junior developer be very careful about joining a small Ltd company.
You would get better support in a bigger team and have better insight of the industry in a bigger organisation.2 -
Play designer board games; they are multi-tenant programs, complex algorithms, modularity, meticulously balanced, and all elegantly linked to an artful UI. They are also made out of cardboard.
It is hard to play them and not become a developer that builds increasingly holistically.8 -
Saw a Job ad stating they give a brand new MacBook Air as you get hired (as a FrontEnd developer)
Is this a red flag? BC to me it really looks like a red flag.
Why would I specifically need a Mac? Just to test stuff on shitty Safari? I really hope so and I also really hope that it won't be to start developing iOS apps11 -
Is it something like, with a great salary band you don't need to go to US? I'm a software developer, I get good money, in India.
There are a lot of people moving to US, the people I think can only take right decisions.14 -
I am tired of switching my role at a startup where I work. I was primarily hired as a backend developer but some times i have to handle sprints, i have to become machine learning engineer, a devops engineer and now even frontend. Yuck. I am sòoooooo tired..6
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Dev goals for 2022? Best and worst DX in the past?
Wish to prioritize customers with useful business goals who are open to sustainable web dev, usability and accessibility.
Want to use even more CSS and find a way to use new features like parent selectors without sacrificing compatibility.
Continue learning and using Symfony, but also continue with my full-stack side project using JS or even better TypeScript for the backend also for the backend.
Best developer experience: getting new customers for my own business after leaving a company last winter.
Worst developer experiences:
Corporate customers with large budgets and design agencies seem to fancy all the antipatterns I thought bad and obsolete, like carousel content, animations everywhere, and autoplay videos on the home page. Poorly written, poorly thought, and sometimes contradictory, requirements. Customers and agencies changing their mind halfway through a project.
"Agile" daily meetings, not giving devops necessary repository permissions, and making Webpack mandatory for no real reason.2 -
Your face when a customer's manager shares the credentials to at least five different production environment databases and third party services, in their project management platform (making them accessible to the entire organization) because they want to be a developer when they grow up.
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- What's the mental image of a software developer in your country/region ?
- Is the shy nerd guy who doesn't talk to anybody?
- Why do you think is so?
- Was it your mental image when you started learning it ?10 -
!rant
Just an appreciation post. Ant Design is the best React Library that I have encountered so far. It's so easy and clean to create new modules. It has already built-in features, especially for Tables.
As a backend developer who has been working in front-end for the past 6 months, I love this library. -
For the game devs out there … Is following a game developer career a good idea ? We always hear about crunch and no work life balance. Im thinking about changing my job( currently a dev at a fintech company) for a while and need some insights from you guys :)6
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how to propose your nerd gf here we go...
"you may look attractive like frontend but you need my support like backend and together we can become full stack developer we can create beautiful projects6 -
We checked a rather important part in our communication services because it was throwing errors from time to time.
Asked our former technical project lead if he could help us since he developed it.
"I don't really know why it's doing that, I got it from a online example so I know as much as you do"
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, it seems I can be a senior developer too!2 -
I think deja vu is even worse for me
*as a developer*, even if it wasn't true,
thinking 'I have a already done this
exact thing before' is such a downer
for productivity..
For some reason I just had it with Xorg,
I don't think I ever touched it before..2 -
Happy 2023, may all your gym memberships be worth while, this time🙃
On a serious note though, what's your goto blogging platform these days?
Beyond Wordpress because well, let's not trigger PTSD for some of us, what are you gals and guys using in 2023?4 -
Fucking IT bloggers be telling you about how to deploy scalable hype meta monad 420 doritos bacon containers. Forget those hipsters.
The only developer blog you need is ACM Queue. -
One of my friend asked me
What the hack is this ...
Tech Associate on Job title
Full Stack Dev on Job Description ?
3 -
> As a developer in the Go world, I would recommend you to embrace idiomatic Go patterns and avoid dependency injection.
google literally created a DI lib for go.4 -
I need to help out my manager to interview angular developer candidate which I don't have any experience on Angular development. I was darn nervous interviewing those people, relying on some reading on angular documentation, articles and tutorials but after few interviews. I manage to get into the momentum to conduct interview smoothly.
After two weeks of doing it, now I'm kinda understand Angular thanks to some great candidate explaining those concept clearly ( hope you get hired on the next round of interview).2 -
If a developer was having a slump (unable to close tickets, find solutions, get mind to work)
What could they possibly do to fix it?6 -
As a JS developer I wish that when I import a package, a list of all the Jquery methods comes shipped with it 🥺12
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Any advice on how to deal with gatekeeping developers? How to deal with red tape?
I work with people that are resistant to code and process change. Continuous pedantic pushback on nearly anything; one raised a fuss over metrics not being satisfactory at a 5% threshold for alerting stating that 4.99% metrics variance wouldn't trigger an alert.
It's genuinely as though my coworkers are all scared of code based on the way they behave. They don't seem to code very often either.
I'm someone that codes quickly but I have to constantly write proposals for quite literally any change to the codebase. Even IF there were issues we could always rollback (and even then we have metrics, alerts, canary rollouts, feature flags, etc etc). As a quick aside, my pace isn't related to the pushback nor experience/skill level. Just affects my morale and mental heth to be blocked.
I can communicate effectively and I try to be as clear as possible in my proposals but this is absolutely driving me up the wall and killing my motivation.
This is a faang-level company and I would've expected better.
Any advice on how to best navigate this? Is this the norm???4 -
Is Fastify really better than other libraries like express as it claims?
It claims that it's way faster than express
(Thinking about switching my express server to Fastify)14 -
!rant
I'll be the first to admit that my web dev skills are average. Where I work we don't get pushed much since we work off of a very limited (custom to us) platform, which doesn't leave one very well rounded. I am very good with CSS/HTML/FLEXBOX/RESPONSIVE DESIGN and have minimal skills in PHP and JAVASCRIPT. In school I've dabbled with SQL, but hell if I remember much (beside key, the whole key and nothing but the key). What other languages or codes do you recommend learning; what's hot right now? Or should I focus on putting higher emphasis on the ones mentioned above first? I am a front end developer and don't plan on ever doing back end so not looking for the toughest of the tough - just something that will help me grow and land a better job. If there's any cool learning sites you know of too, or other tools, please let me know.3 -
I have a question about the life as a developer in a big, open office. I'm a relatively active thinker and have to walk around, draw on whiteboards, etc. to get a better outlook on my problem.
What do I do in a big office with mutliple people? I can't just stand up and walk around or write/draw on a whiteboard all the time.
Has anyone experienced the same and knows what to do? I'd like to prepare for a life in the office.2 -
Is an art director/manager that makes designs for an existing website expected to brief the developer on how he wants his new designs to work? Or is the developer expected to innately understand what his functional desire is from the design itself?
My art director/manager claims that he shouldn't have to log into the backend to see how things relate to one another, and that his designs alone should imply what is intended.
When some design element overlaps an existing image gallery, am I expected to magically know whether this element is singular or partaining to the current image shown?
I want to know whether or not me getting mad at him for not telling me how he wants stuff to work is valid, and whether or not I should demand that he briefs me how his design relate to existing taxonomy.
Am I the bad guy?4 -
Will web3 solve the problem of wealth accumulating at the top?
Normally, those in management positions (founders, VCs, CXOs) get rich while most of the actual-work and thought-work doers struggle to meet their financial needs.
Can web3 decentralisation help employees accumulate wealth in right proportion to the work that they do?
If you feel that it can, how?
If you feel that it can't, why? What are the challenges?18 -
Yesterday i went to see a therapist ( i am a javascript developer). The therapist asked me what the problem was and i said i had to learn a new tech stack every 3 months. He then told me he was a php developer .....
Therapy works guys! no cap
P.S- This joke is stolen from the oldest book possible ( yes! as old as php)2 -
How to grow in a start up as a developer?
For sure, the scale is low. Product is easy to understand. How to grow so that I can proudly say that I solved this business problem or at least sound like I solved something good?2 -
I imagine being a schizophrenic developer must be entertaining, like imagine you're fixing a bug and your homie comes up with a genius suggestion, I mean, more minds help resolve problems faster.4
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I haven’t worked as a software developer since net didn’t suck. But I pay attention and I watch all these requirements that strike me as “worship some trendy technology until it dies or is revealed as utter crap and end up jobless” does anyone hire problem solvers anymore in an environment dedicated to ensuring they’re stimulated to succeed ?2
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I've been asked to release a project which has been written by someone else, then rewritten by another developer, and both have left the company.
I can't release it yet because there is an inconsistent bug throwing some values out.
We've got it running side by side with an older legacy system which it's going to replace. Before the 2nd developer left they added some logging to our live system to record both values so that they could be monitored to make sure there was no inconsistency.
There are some inconsistencies... however, when I run the same data through the new system and the legacy system in a test environment they both come out correct.
FML
I've considered quitting...2 -
How do I overcome the fear of failure as a developer? I know that failures are a daily thing in the life of a developer but I'm severely afraid to mess things up. My colleague explained something to me that also involves making changes to the database but I'm really afraid to make mistakes. How does one overcome that initial fear? And did anyone experience the same as a junior developer?4
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I have some down time at work & nobody on my team has any extra work to go around, so I thought I'd use the down time to learn a new skill. I am a front end developer who mostly works with HTML, CSS, PHP & a small amount of JavaScript. I do a lot of work with flex box, and frameworks like bootstrap. I've been considering learning angular or working on my php as that's my weak area. Any suggestions on cool things to learn and/or where to learn them?1
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The worst part about being an accessibility expert in these times is getting a redundant flood of a11y stuff on developer knowledge email subscriptions.
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I've just been asked if I can help find a PHP developer. For backend.
I guess some people do really like pain.8 -
I'm a self taught web developer, I know I can develop great apps, but my code doesn't feel structured... It gets messier as I add more features, and this makes it harder to develop and keep track of everything.
How can I improve this, are there any processes to follow?5 -
Senior Recruiters: Are GCP accreditations worth it? I’m looking to take the Professional Cloud Developer course.
Do they give weight on a CV?9 -
Hello, fellow developers, i am having a question in mind that confusing me about my career choices.
At first i joined a company as a full stack developer with 6 months experience in MERN, MySql etc.
Now i have completed nearly 1 year in this company but they are always assigning me to full DevOps CI/ CD projects. And i agree i am learning a lot of new things and completed the given works too.
BUT , the question is , should i completely shift as devops engineer or software developer? What might be a better career in long term?
Ps: in CI/CD i did almost all works in Typescript using CDK and sometimes a little bit in python (not good in python but learning)10 -
How do you survive in a company which is venturing into development and you being the only developer5
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[Career Advice]
Hi folks! I'm in a bit of a career dilemma for which I sincerely need your help.
TL;DR
How do I go from being a React Native Developer to an Android developer, considering I have 2x more experience with React Native than Android, with React Native being the more recent one ?
More details -
I started as an Android developer in 2015, using Java as my primary language. Up until the end of 2017 I kept working as an Android developer, adding different native mobile tech skills to my skillset.
At the end of 2017, my employer asked me if I could also learn React Native as he had many big projects that required a more hybrid stack. I had always been eager to learn new things (perks of being a programmer I guess), so I said yes and started working on React Native in 15-20 days.
From that point onwards, I kept doing more and more projects using React Native (in my day job) and over the years, I became more of a React Native Developer than an Android one. At this point in my career, I have about 4.5 years of React Native experience and 2.5 years of Android.
However, now I am at a point where I want to make a switch (for better pay and more exciting projects) but when I looked at the job postings for React Native this morning, they were all for startups with great pay but kinda average products, whereas the Android job listings were for companies like Uber, Reddit, etc. (basically great companies with good projects and great pay).
I really want to go back from being a React Native Developer to an Android developer full time but I don't know how. I've personally seen so many people switch jobs from one field (say React Native) to another (Backend development) - and when I asked them about how they did it, they said it didn't really matter to their companies what specific tech stack they'd worked with, which is kinda hard to believe because every job listing I've seen companies list every single technology very very specifically.
Any help/suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading!2 -
As a senior developer with a couple of years under the belt, do you think having an active Instagram, YouTube and Facebook account is necessary? Does It help professionally at all? or am I just wasting time that I can use elsewhere?
I am thinking about launching my own SaaS in the future. But as a developer, does social media presence impact in any significant way in your professional life?
I am kinda getting addicted to posting setup videos and reels on Instagram. I don't have an end goal in mind. I just find it a way to express myself. But sometimes even I get cringe seeing my own posts. I was thinking about ditching IG and Facebook and twitter and go back to writing blog posts or something.3 -
Any1 to suggest a company looking for remote developers
Nothing too big just good enough
Skill set:
Python
NodeJs
C#
Backend
Thank you4 -
Is it only me or is it bloody hard to get into freelancing or remote work ?
I am a CS graduate, I have worked for a company that owns an online business. I didn't last a year with them for various reasons but let's just say work in my country is not so great. So I have been trying to get a remote position for few months now without a shadow of a success. I've built a Portfolio with a couple of projects while trying Upwork and some remote working websites with no luck.
What are your thoughts on this, what do you recommend me to do ?2 -
I f**king hate you JS, I hate you.
I beg our vast developer community, please replace this sh*t, or else
to Microsoft, let the devs access GitHub copilot for free. I don't want my best coding practices to fade away bcuz of this sh*t.1 -
If Wordpress gives you a blank screen of death. Do not check with your frontend developer what’s wrong. Your frontend developer does not have a clue since this is probably backend related3
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Someone should give me a Christmas gift by giving me a remote project to work on that will get me paid.
I am a kotlin and python DEVELOPER. "I could work on Android apps and web backend"
"MERRY CHRISTMAS"
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What are some projects that would stand out to you as an interviewer?
Role: Software developer/engineer (junior)3 -
I hate AudioContext. Visitors might like it since it does not permit websites to blast loud sounds. However, as a developer, I hate it. Before AudioContext existed everything was cool. Suddenly it appeared from nowhere. I had no clue that Chrome added it. Now my websites aren't as exciting at first glance anymore.
7 -
what are the basics I should know about "data streaming" for working on video streaming companies as a future senior backend Golang developer?4
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I get assigned to lead projects where I have to interact with vendors form my home country. Rest of the time I work as a developer. I know it makes sense and I'm natural fit. But is it racism?11
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Coming from a PHP, JS and Flutter developer:
I want to start building more websites entirely with Js frameworks. The less the better. Needs to import json data, perform ajax requests etc.
Can't decide, do I learn Vue or Svelte?9 -
If you upgrade your framework/php/React version then you need to have tests to makes sure nothing breakes after upgrade!?
Ive never seen a project with tests that completly covers everything and ive been a developer (web) for over 10 years.
Without tests you just upgrade, get down on your knees and pray?4 -
How the hell would my BLE device advertise as 2 devices . Trying to make the app developer understand this . 🤯
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Backend developer does not even sort his API results by ID or name. Damn. I hate dependencies like this. Simple things but they are too lazy to do.1
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Have you ever felt this way?
Taking a tour back in my developer life when I have little experience on my stack I spend days trying to fix bugs and finish tasks.
The funny thing is that I felt I was working much harder and earning less and I felt being used but that's not true because its hard to say that due to my little experience and besides those bugs won't show up if I had much experience, the bugs are very much avoidable and to crown it all an experience developer will fix it in little time, though I won't consider myself super experienced but at least I can say am better than those times and to me I have achieved some level of experience to look back at my misconceptions in the past. -
Hey, what is the best way to add speech recognition on web? Did web developers have python developer like AI/ML technology.3
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would you advice a uni dropout who is a web developer to take one of these harvard CS50 online courses?1
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TFW you’re trying to balance the volume on a tut in one window and YouTube playlist vol in another…just need a halfway between YouTube’s lowest vol setting and mute 🙄7
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Topic: self promotion to get a job as developer in the tech
- CV short with bullet points or include also a brief description of experiences, skills in action and personal attitudes?
- Website? GitHub page? Suggestions about what highlight in personal git repos?
- Other things that could help to let you be noted in the pre-screening process of the recruiters?3 -
Which is the best way of building Mobile Developer profile 🧠😅and is it possible to impress ur recruiter with it..?
3
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