Production is down

Me to Customer :What did you do?
Customer: Nothing
Me blurt out: The fuck you didn't!
Customer: ...
Me: ...(fuckfuckfuck)
Customer:... Well, I did run these scripts..
Me: (oh thank Christ)
Me: ok, I'll get right on it (Click)
Me to TeamLead: client called. Their prod is down!
TeamMate: did he say he didn't do anything?
Me:Yes
TeamMate: ..... Every fucking time...

Nothing like blurting something out and then having to prep to eat shit for it lol

For years on the support front lines I worked beside a guy who thought I said TERRIBLE things to clients. I was just really good with hitting the mute button while I said them. He got a kick out of it.

Great.

It's always like that. We had customers calling in regularly telling us that someone deleted a page (or similar). Since we just flip a flag in the database it's easy for us to undo, but the customers can't do it themselves.

However, they almost always explicitly say it wasn't them who did it (we never ask because we really don't care lol), yet always when I check it's always their user id who's the one that deleted the page.

Crazy how computers does that.

@ThaMunsta until the time when you get it wrong and you end up having them hear what you have actually said and then getting fired for it...

LOL @ "the fuck you didn't" :-)

Lock down the sudo and the root XD

I laughed so hard. Thanks =)

I had a client once like that. They kept insisting that the changes were not made by them, although I could see in the log files that it was in fact them who broke the site.

I just started to pretend to panic, saying something about a security breach. Then I changed all passwords and billed them a full day for "security audits".

i have a dream, that one day, i will again be in this kind of situation, and i will tell the client "okay, please describe the nothing that you did which broke it"

@Midnigh-shcode

"... the 'nothing' that you did"🤣🤣😂😂

Oh man that's brilliant! You had me in stitches 😂

@ThaMunsta so good

@electronix woah good strategy! Make them burn money for lying 🤩

The client you will not charge me for that is your error XD