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FUCK PRINTERS

WERE ALL PRINTERS DESIGNED BY INCOMPETENT MONKEYS WHO HAVEN'T EVER TOUCHED AN ACTUAL PIECE OF PAPER IN THEIR LIVES?!

WERE THEY PAID SPECIFICALLY TO MAKE SURE THEY WOULD NEVER WORK WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO?!?

IT REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING PAIN TO DO A GODDAMN SIMPLE THING LIKE PRINT A BLACK AND WHITE JPEG!

I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, JUST A FUCKING EVEN HALFWAY FUNCTIONAL MACHINE THAT DOES AS ADVERTISED AND DOESN'T REQUIRE SACRIFICING A GOAT TO CONNECT TO

FUCK ALL PRINTERS EVERYWHERE

Comments
  • 13
    Haveyou ever disassembled one and really examined the inner workings, especially larger laser printers

    Once you’ve done that your probably amazed they work as well as they do ;)

    Also, what type of printer, I avoid incjets, they only work decent if used regularly, and no multi function scrap either.
  • 4
    Hey, even my favourite low-tech printer (fountain pen) doesn't work half of the time so that I always have a backup ball pen.
  • 5
    @Fast-Nop Does your fountain pen sometimes act like an ink jet?
  • 15
    *Can't print that black and white jpeg b/c out of cyan*
  • 3
    @Demolishun Yeah, it dries up because I don't use it enough. However, it never spits out ink blobs.

    But holy shit, if (not when) it writes, it's so pleasing that I still incur the maintenance hassle.
  • 0
    All printers use postscript as backend, don't they? So JPEG -> PS must be done beforehand.. via some software. So it's actually not the printer fucking up printing your JPEG.
  • 1
    @nitwhiz Some printers now support PDF and JPEG directly.
  • 0
    @sbiewald the future is now i guess
  • 10
    @Voxera nah.... Naaaaahhhhh.

    Did this a few years back...

    Printers are the result of every kitten that had to die.

    They're pure malevolent hatred and evil.

    At least when i maintenanced printers I was careful.

    Once an employee tried to remove paper jam (industrial printer, height to the hip...) from an printer. After it ran for 6h.

    Yeah. He ignored all those bright shining yellow warning stickers.

    Pretty nice 2nd degree burns. He literally grabbed in the back looking for paper.

    *shakes head*

    Fingers looked like sausages with blisters...
  • 1
    All printers suck but some suck somewhat less. The gold standard for need a black and white printer once in a while seems to be the Brother HL-L2340DW.

    I have one, It sucks significantly less than most printers I've used.
  • 2
    Printers are kept intentionally dumb, obtuse and proprietary to allow a small cabal of companies to own the market.
  • 0
    California cows won't dance the fandango?
  • 4
    I used and old laser hp one. It fucking has no drivers and no settings, it connects via usb 1.1 and just fucking prints and that’s it. It’s very tough and survived multiple falls in our uni.

    It’s amazing. If only I was this tough.
  • 0
    https://youtu.be/AHX6tHdQGiQ

    You’re welcome.
    I decided to just do digital instead of struggle to print 🙂 have never been happier :)
  • 1
    #killallprinters

    Seriously just cut them out of your life. You'll be happier. It's as unsolvable as the halting problem
  • 0
    Bruh, I bought a 50 dollar HP printer and it has worked great for the last 4 years. The only sad thing is that the ink costs as much as the whole printer :(
  • 6
    @Bybit260 Printer ink costs more per ounce than silver, often significantly more. Cheap inks cost only about half as much as silver, and pricey ones can be five (or more) times as expensive.

    I get that the ink is difficult to design and manufacture, but this is just ridiculous.
  • 2
    @Root its even more expensive than exclusive perfume ;)

    I have a HP color laser, it works pretty well and does not dry out.

    Inkjet’s is more of a consumable, you buy it, you print, you throw it away :/
  • 0
    In 2006 I ordered a printer from Dell. I was able to install it no problem. But the last bit wouldn't work. You wouldn't believe the suggestions the techs at Dell made. Everything but euthanize your parents and switch their clothes...
    I spoke to every fucking tech in India over the course of three days. The punchline? Choose your language. They couldn't tell me that's what I had to do, and I couldn't see it because the printer was on a shelf and this instruction was only visible if you were looking directly down at its display.
  • 0
    In 2006 I ordered a printer from Dell. I was able to install it no problem. But the last bit wouldn't work. You wouldn't believe the suggestions the techs at Dell made. Everything but euthanize your parents and switch their clothes...
    I spoke to every fucking tech in India over the course of three days. The punchline? Choose your language. They couldn't tell me that's what I had to do, and I couldn't see it because the printer was on a shelf and this instruction was only visible if you were looking directly down at its display.
  • 1
    Never had a problem with my Brother LaserJet. Still going strong!
  • 1
    If you need a consistent and reliable way to ruin my day: When I comment on the printer not printing - either out of venting frustration or asking for your help - tell me "it should just work".
  • 0
    Should have posted this before. This is very relevant to the printer saga:

    https://youtube.com/watch/...
  • 0
    ALL caps LOL
  • 1
    @ashinsiider Fucking printers deserve it
  • 3
    @Voxera I usually go with silver because everyone knows it’s expensive. Using perfume as a comparison leaves men clueless.
  • 1
    @Root
    I still have so much PTSD working at for a cosmetics manufacturer. The women who liked to drink a little too much would bathe in it, and I have a significant sensitivity to it.
  • 1
    @SortOfTested Totally get it.
  • 0
  • 0
    came here to recommend brother printers. appears others already did.
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