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Search - "printers"
Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service: What is wrong with it?
Caller: Mouse is jammed.
Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don’t have a mouse.
Caller: Mmmmm? Oh really? I will send a picture….14
Best prank I did to a office must be that one I did when I was 7 years old:
> Sat at a schoolcomputer and explored stuff
> Found alot of network printers
> Found one called "city hall front desk"
> Created a word-document with the biggest font possible
> Wrote "Dick"
> 2000 pages of the word "dick"
> Print 2000 copies
> Did the same to a kindergarten and a "rival school"
> Never got caught because I used my teachers novell account ( the password was his name)
I miss novell15
First time poster here. Please be nice :)
My biggest workaround is one that's being currently deployed to 40 truck drivers (trucking company here), preventing printers being out of usage while on the road. We also have to use HP ePrint to wirelessly print documents, but that's another story for another time I guess :)
CEO asked us to install wifi printers in our 40-ish trucks which has wifi on board. However he's always picking one of the cheapest options possible, so we got consumer grade printers (Laserjet 1002w). Those printers often disconnects without getting back on the truck wifi network EVER. I have to get physically in the truck, wire the printer via USB onto my laptop and reconfigure Wifi on it with the HP Windows tool. This means lots of printer downtime, which always happens when the drivers are three timezones away from our office
Then I thought: "What if I could sniff what HP sends via USB while I (re)configure the printer, and replay whats being sent later? Our trucks all have an Android tablet with a USB type-A connector with host capability, so I could write a small app that replays the config when plugged in by the user.
Three days of hacking around later, I have a working app. By chance, HP printers (or at least those models we have) uses HTTP POST via USB, so I could easily replay the request.
Edit: the end result is that truck drivers just plug the printer to their tablet, press "reconfigure" in a home made Android app, printer is reconnected to the truck and they're good to go. They don't have access to the network nor know enough to debug themselves anyways14
So back story... I opened up my own company a while back. I provide not only general IT and phone repair etc but I also do ethical penetration testing and patch the holes.
Before opening my own business me and some buddy's went out to a bowling ally and bar to have a few drinks. I wanted to see what their network was like... I hacked into their entire network in less than two minutes. From my iPhone. I was in their switches, I was configuring their printers and fax machines. Lord knows what I could have done if I had my laptop.
Anyways, back to the rant... I got this text today. 😂😩🔫18
Caller : Hi, our printer is not working.
Customer Service : What is wrong with it?
Caller : Mouse is jammed..
Customer Service : Mouse......???? Printers don't have a mouse you fool….!
Caller : Mmmmm…??..
Oh really ?...
I will send a picture, see U idiot!😡
Ok. That's it. I've FUCKING HAD IT with job recruiters. I have a job I like and am doing fine right now, but I'm letting my best friend stay with me while he's looking for jobs, and watching what he's going through is FUCKING NOT OKAY.
1. Recruiters act like they want him but then just take weeks to get back
2. He'll go through several rounds of interviews and do well and then they just ghost
3. They act reluctant to hire him even when they do want him and try to use the fact that he needs foreign visa sponsorship against him
4. When they do give him an offer they insist that it be a contractor position because of his visa needs, and then they DEMAND that he decide the same day whether to take the job
5. He passes all the rounds of interviews for this one startup and then they email him saying they changed the hiring process and it needs to wait another month. WHAT A LOAD OF FUCKING BULLSHIT. TELL IT LIKE IT IS.
6. He keeps getting calls from people asking the equivalent of 'can you fix printers' when he's a top notch frontend designer
7. I'll say it again, fucking recruiters give you no time to decide because we've tolerated that, and they think people aren't worth anything to their company and they can pressure you into working for them by never allowing you to have more than one offer at a time. FUCK THESE GUYS. Let people explore the possibilities and get the offers they want. I know what I would do if you did that to me. I'd accept the job say I'd start in four weeks and keep fucking looking. How about we skip the games and you just let people look and not play these games.
8. Don't even get me started on the state of salaries in this country and the cancer of nobody wanting to hire anybody full time and get contractors
And on that note... CONTRACTORS.
You hire people give them no benefits or full time stability and they do a shoddy job on the code (not all contractors but many) and they don't document it and then you're left with nothing for your money and your full time employees have to fix it. HOW THE FUCK DOES NOBODY UNDERSTAND THE SIMPLICITY OF THENMATTER, HIRE PEOPLE THAT ARE GOOD IF YOU WANT THEIR WORK DONT WHORE 90% CONTRACTORS TO TRY TO SAVE TEN BUCKS.
It's a miracle that there are still people who haven't been jaded by this. I'm at the point when I know if I'm being treated nicely it's only because there's a barrier thinner than paper separating me from HR and recruiter bullshit.
FUCK THIS SHIT11
Wife: the neighbors brought their pc, it doesn't work.
Me: WTF did I say to you. I DON'T REPAIR ANYTHING NO PCS, PRINTERS, WASHMACHINES NOTHING TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCKING PC GODDAMIT ITS MY FREE DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.7
She: why my pc shut down when I print?
me: because you pull the power wire when you turn your chair yo get the printed page2
The Linux Kernel, not just because of the end product. I find it's organizational structure and size (both in code and contributors) inspirational.
Firefox. Even if you don't use it as your main browser, the sheer amount of work Mozilla has contributed to the world is amazing.
OpenTTD. I liked the original game, and 25 years after release some devs are still actively maintaining an open source clone with support for mods.
Git. Without it, it would not just be harder working on your own source code, it would also be harder to try out other people's projects.
FZF is possibly my favorite command line tool.
Kitty has recently become my favorite terminal.
My favorite thing open source has brought forth though is a certain mindset, which in the last decade can be felt most heavily in the fact that:
1. Scientific papers with accompanying GitHub urls, especially when it comes to AI. Cutting edge research is one git clone away.
2. There are so many open hardware projects. From raspberry pi to 3d printers to laser cutters, being a "maker" suddenly became a mainstream hobby.13
(The exact opposite of a rant, yay)
My school gave everyone in my class (and the two other 10th-grade CS classes) these neat 64GB USB sticks.
They are our property (paid by our fee every student has to pay every year so the school can afford paper for the printers, school books, and other materials such as USB sticks for 10th graders), but we have to keep some files for a lesson on the root of the USB (currently ~900MB).
That's not an issue, personal files go in my _Personal folder anyway.
Of course, I wanted to VeraCrypt all my USB drives I use at school, but since I don't have admin rights at our school and they use Windows 10, I just used BitLocker. Good enough, the only thing I want to achieve with encryption is other students being unable to read data off a lost drive (such as my _Personal data)
Also this stick is hella fast even with BitLocker enabled, 200 MB/s (minus 13 MB/s with enabled BitLocker) sequential r/w speed according to CrystalDiskMark.34
So this happened.
S = my stepfather
M = me
M: *coding in the zone, generally not giving a fuck about my surroundings, I don’t even wish death to my neighbor who is blaring out his shitty loud music again*
S: *comes into bedroom carrying a printer, puts printer on desk*
S: *staring in anticipation*
M: *confused* What do you want?
S: my printer isn’t working, take a look at it and see what’s wrong [editor’s note: that’s a quote]
M: I’m kinda busy here. Besides, I have no clue about printers.
S: but you’re into programming!
M *thinking: not this bullshit again*
M: *breathes in, tries to come up with a nice analogy to clear things up*
S: *pretending to be my boss* Alright, Mr. [last name here], my printer is broken and I need you to take a look at it. I have to print a very important document.
M: Mr. Boss, unfortunately, this task is out of my scope. You see, I’m working in software development and am busy planning this very important new project. If you have trouble with your printer, please be so kind and reach out to the sysadmins or the IT helpdesk, you gotta pay them for something, right? If you’ll excuse me now...
S: *poker face*
S: but you’re....
S: *starts sweating and turning red, realizes that he has hit a dead end*
S: could you _please_ look at my printer when you’re done?
M: alright, when I’m done.
At least he asked nicely in the end.3
Anything to do with printers, those fuckers were sent here by Satan shortly after he was done with the nuclear bomb and tumblr7
Fucking printers are made by satan himself.
My printer apparently needs cyan, yellow and magenta for printing grayscale.
So suddenly my colours are empty
Bullshit but whatever, I used ducktape to tape of the little glas place where it checks inkt levels.
My printer thinks they are full and prints again. Booyah.
About 200 pages further it says they are empty again.
BULL FUCKING SHIT
The satan spawn that made my printer must have made the cartridges with a chip that has a maximum of pages. So even if the cartridge is FULL, the chip says its empty and so the printer thinks that as well
If i find the demon spawn that programmed the printers, I will make you program in brainfuck or whitespace for the rest of your life!!!!!!9
Therapy session #5
I work in IT at this big company which consists of 4 office buildings
(one of them being 5 floors)
So, said company decides to replace all the printers with new ones. We're talking EVERY FUCKING PRINTER. IN TWO FUCKING DAYS!
And the best part? The other 3 members of the dept are occupied in testing new terminals for the production workers.
So here I am, trying to figure a way to make this happen in 2 days, when the new intern comes in.
New guy: Hey, I saw your assigned iTop ticket and thought I could help.
Me: Its fine man, I got it covered, thanks.
New guy: I'm telling you I got a pretty good idea.
Me thinking I can't escape this: Ok, shoot.
New guy: Go to HR and ask them a budget to buy and place just one huge switch in every building that will have
everything on it. (atm there is one switch at every floor.)
New guy: Pretty good idea huh?
Me: Oh, you mean you're serious?
New guy: Of course I'm serious! That's what you're supposed to do if you need a new piece of equipment so that the
company runs flawlessly.
Me: Ok, I'll consider it, thanks.
New guy:Don't be an idiot! What's to consider? It's a bulletproof plan.
At that point I brought up a 20 page document and hit print 40 copies of it.
Now, the new guy didn't know shit and being in a difficult period, the department leader put him on chore duty (picking up documents from the printer, answering telephones etc).
Me: Go fetch the papers, sort them out and deliver them to each department (A task I was gonna do myself cause I don't like abusing
others no matter if that's their job in the first place).
So with the new guy gone, I figured I just had to work overtime and started writing down IPs and witch printer answers in what department.
All was good and with about 2-3 more hours each day, I completed the task and we informed everyone that they could use their new printers.
And all hell broke loose. The one building that consists of 5 floors is the home of our beloved salesmen (the most arrogant, rude and know-it-all
assholes in all the company). Whoever installed the switches, when the building was given access to house workstations, mixed them up and i.e. the
first floor PCs were connected to the second floor switch. So, not knowing that, I connected the first floor printers to the first floor switch.....Aaaaand you got the general idea.
There was chaos. Papers mixed up, departments, not getting their orders. Complete chaos. And in the middle of it, me.
I was called in head of the department's office, yesterday after the completion of the task and the ruckus that followed it
and asked to explain my actions. The server/system admin (his brother) comes in and says it's his fault and that's the way it is since that building opened up (about 5 years now), so I'm in the clear (I didn't do anything wrong anyways but it was hard to prove it if he haven't spoken).
I just finished fixing the last one, and I'm ready to go home in one hour or so.
The new guy came at me half an hour ago and said that he will go to HR and report me for abusing his position and making him run everywhere with useless documents and say that I used bad language. Now he's delivering documents again. I didn't do it but I'm sure that when the new guy ran to the printer, I saw the system admin blinking.
It's nice to have the favour of the Admin.14
A rant from the old box, with some minor edits because I don't remember the exact wording anymore.
So last time I had this window cleaner visit me, and he'd do his job while I was troubleshooting a broken tablet that my past home supervisor donated to me. After he was done he came to me, very impressed.
He then said: "Wow, you are disassembling this.. you must be very technical."
Me (kinda tired): "Thanks. And yeah pretty much."
He: "Does this mean that you can fix anything?"
Me: "Kind of. It depends. But I can't fix printers."
He: "Why is that? Are they so complicated?"
(the tablet I had disassembled is orders of magnitude more difficult than a printer)
Me: "Not really. It's just that that's often what users ask next."
The guy immediately left 🤣4
Overheard a phone call between the Senior Network Engineer and a contracted Printer-company at 9am this morning. Photocopier was giving a 'functional error' message on-screen and not printing;
I logged this call last
Thursday afternoon. Thats 1.5 days of the photocopier not working on our busiest site! Where's the engineer??
.... yes, that's the error message.
Yes, i can log into it, you should have the IP address from the call.
Yes, it's obviously pinging too.
Yes.... we've power-cycled the printer multiple times...
yes, tried that too...
yes, I've unplugged the network cable as well... left it for 15 minutes.
... sorry. What?
What did you say?
Are you f***ing kidding me?
Would you also like me to rub the side of the f***ing machine, and say a prayer while I'm at it??
*takes a deep breath*
Fine, I'll do that but when it doesn't work, i want someone out on the site before lunchtime today!
*slams phone down angrily*
N.E to me as he stomps out of the office;
He wants me to get the user to unplug the network cable and do a power cycle. How the f**k is that going to help? Idiots! Don't know why we have a contract with them, i could do a better job!!!
*comes back into office 5 minutes later*
Me: did it fix it?
NE: yeah. Damn.
*leaves room again to make apologetic phonecall*3
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7
When I worked at a previous job, they only gave out decent titles (and salaries) to upper management. Everyone else... well... I was the Domain/Sysadmin, responsible for the domain and both DCs, upgrading the physical network (plus recabling it: the MDF was a *disaster*), as well as all backups, migrations, printers, servers, and workstations/lappys in the building, plus pushing software, antivirus, updates, security policies, etc. I had complete access to everything, and ofc was responsible for everything. Nothing on my network caused anyone (else) any trouble except one particular printer I wasn't able to replace. Also, nothing new appeared on my network without me noticing and tracking it down.
But my official title? "IT Assistant".
I made $11/hr.
Worth it? Take a flying leap into an overflowing outhouse during the height of a Vegas summer if you even begin to think so.
I eventually managed to switch to a developer position, and (after several attempts) got a ~$5/hr raise. The girl they replaced me with in IT with some ditz who had never installed an OS before, didn't know what the BIOS was, and couldn't figure out why a monitor... plugged into itself... wasn't working. Things went downhill from there.12
We had a priority 1 incident (= the complete basis of our business is at risk, nobody can work anymore). The reason: at least 50 fax machines didn't work anymore ...
You're laughing? Well, in the department next to us, they still use dot matrix printers.8
A couple of weeks ago, I asked the "brand manager" if he knew how to reset printers to their defaults before reconfiguring them, knowing full well that he did not. He assured me that he did. I smiled and let him leave.
He called me yesterday, frantic, because he didn't know how to reconfigure a printer that already had a password. After reminding him of the above, I told him how to put the printer in diagnostic mode and how to navigate the menus. Literally: "Turn the printer off, then hold down the feed paper button while turning the printer on. It will print out a bunch of diagnostics, and a menu at the bottom. Just follow the instructions at the bottom to use the menu"
Apparently following simple instructions is well outside of his abilities. After he spent five minutes fighting with it and complaining, I called him and walked him through powering the printer on while holding down the feed paper button. Terribly difficult.
The next step amounts to "hold down the feed paper button for more than 1 second." He spent ten minutes (ten!) on this unimaginably challenging step, and, frustrated at his inability to outsmart a simple button, he gave up completely.
He literally couldn't follow the instructions on the printout. I've attached a picture to show how ridiculous this is, and it saddens me terribly to report that I'm quite serious. he was literally unable to figure this out.
HE SPENT TEN MINUTES TRYING TO PUSH A BUTTON FOR >1 SECOND! TEN MINUTES!
That's what was too difficult for him! A button! With written instructions!
I can't even.
But the kicker?
Now he and the bossman want me to drive half an hour so I can push a button for ~1.2 seconds because they're utterly incapable.
I'm soo done.
Wrote a custom printer script in shell.
Went to test the script on some printers.
Neglected to check accuracy of script.
script is supposed to print jpeg.
it doesn't interpret it as an image,
but rather as raw binary in text...
mfw each printer in the entire 5 story building
starts printing 500 pages of
Yesterday was the day.
The day I finally got asked for help on fixing a printer;
And finally telling in freaking polite German to fuck off, google the problem, never ask a programming nerd again for this shit - and to understand that printers are evil monsters5
Last Friday company-wide call consisted of the sales CEO bossman, the remote contractor dev, and myself. The only topic of discussion was CTO-bashing (bossman's favorite). Neither person had much of anything to say about their week, and they didn't want to hear my rather-lengthy summary either (I did a lot). All they wanted to do was bash the CTO (API Guy).
The CEO asked how many hours I had worked, and seemed annoyed when I said less than 40. Well screw you. Monday was Christmas, and Sunday was Encroaching Estranged Asshole Day. (Earlier rant)
I've been spending most of my time trying to learn the steaming mountain of rancid hippo shit that API Guy squeezed out, since he's leaving forever in 10 days. Sure, CEO bossman says he'll still be around to answer questions, but even with him right next to me in the office he's less than useful. After he's gone and finally feeling free of this farce? It'll be worth fuck-all.
So bossman is mad at me for both not working enough over Christmas, and not pumping out features at a frantic pace despite multiple explanations of why this is a bad idea. And he didn't care about what work I actually did do.
My every interaction with him makes me angry. Whenever I -- or anyone else -- does something he doesn't approve of, seemingly no matter the reasoning, he makes it out to be a failure on their part, and like he can't trust them as much now.
Well I'm sorry we're trying to make sure our websocket works perfectly before putting it in the hands of our customers who rely on it for cash processing.
I'm sorry I'm trying to recall printers that aren't configured properly, which also prevent customers from using our goddamn service they're paying for.
I'm sorry I'm trying to learn how everything works while I still have someone to talk to and ask questions of.
I'm sorry I'm preparing for the day I have to take over and have you breathing down my neck. Once API Guy's gone I'll be responsible for everything, and you'll be yelling at me and having a @Root bashing session instead if I don't know how to fix everything right away.
But no. All you care about is that I talk to you about what's going in so you can micromanage development despite having zero fucking understanding of goddamn anything. All you ever fucking want is the next shiny feature you can push to make more sales / keep your current contacts happy. Doesn't fking matter if it makes development awful later; that's tomorrow's problem. And yet you have the gall to bash API Guy over and over and over again for the codebase being a mess? Sure he's a terrible programmer, but been putting up with this exact same shit for five years. No wonder it's a mountain of rancid hippo shit. That's as much your fault as his, asshole.
I'm so sorry you "have serious concerns" about me. I don't want to put up with your shit either.
Fuck off and die.22
I worked for over 13 hours yesterday on super-urgent projects. I got so much done it's insane.
1) the printer auto-configuration script.
2) changing Stripe from test mode to live mode in production
3) website responsiveness
I finished two within five minutes and pushed to both QA and Production. actually urgent, actually necessary. Easy change.
The printer auto-configure script was honestly fun to write, if very involved. However, the APIs I needed to call to fetch data, create a printer client, etc... none of them were tested, and they were _all_ broken in at least two ways. The CTO (api guy in my previous rant) was slow at fixing them, so getting the APIs working took literally four hours. One of them (test print) still doesn't work.
Responsiveness... this was my first time making a website responsive. Ever. Also, one of the pages I needed to style was very complicated (nested fixed-aspect-ratio + flexbox); I ended up duplicating the markup and hacking the styling together just to make it work. The code is horrible. But! "Friday's the day! it's going live and we're pushing traffic to it!" So, I invested a lot of time and energy into making it ready and as pretty as I could, and finally got it working. That page alone took me two hours.
The site and the printer script (and obv the Stripe change as well) absolutely needed to be done by this morning. Super important.
1) Auto-configure script. Ostensibly we would have an intern come in and configure the printers. However, we have no printers that need configuring, so she did marketing instead. :/ Also, the docs Epson sent us only work for the T88V printer (we have exactly one, which we happened to set up and connect to). They do not work for the T88VI printers, which is what we ordered. and all we'll ever be ordering. So. :/ I'll need to rewrite a large chunk of my code to make this work. Joy :/
2) Stripe Live mode. Nobody even seemed to notice that we were collecting info in Test mode, or that I fixed it. so. um. :/
Well. That deadline is actually next Wednesday. The marketing won't even start until then, and I haven't even been given the final changes yet (like come on). Also! I asked for a QA review last night before I'd push it to production. One person glanced at it. Nobody else cared. Nobody else cared enough to look in the morning, either, so it's still on QA. Super-important deadline indeed. :/
I feel like Alice (from Dilbert) after she worked frantically on urgent projects that ended up just being cancelled. (That one where Wally smells that lovely buttery-popcorn scent of unnecessary work.)
I worked 13 hours yesterday.
I built a tracking suite for our fleet of printers quite some time ago. Once a day, "bizteam" (aka sales) gets an alert detailing how many printers are in critical need of attention (out of paper, mechanical error, etc.), and how many of them are flat-out offline. They don't seem to care. I mean they do, I think? but. the offline percentage hasn't changed much in the past month or two.
These printers constitute a primary part of our business model and... screw it. they're goddamn important, okay?
A full 16% of our printers are OFFLINE. Most of those HAVE BEEN OFFLINE FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS.
3% of our printers have been online BUT OUT OF PAPER FOR OVER A MONTH.
and what really baffles me...
We've convinced a few of these merchants to actually plug in their goddamn printers. (and yes, they actually *paid* for these things, and they're absolutely not cheap.) Some of those were previously both offline AND out of paper, yet after being plugged in, they're *STILL* OUT OF PAPER?! What the crap, people! It's a printer! it's not difficult! It's the same as every other fucking printer you have! and it's probably the same goddamn fucking model!
Did AlexDeLarge skullfuck your brain into mush? FIX YOUR SHIT!12
You can kill me for this...
I've one old printer and and I wanted to print some pages. So I did following steps
1. Plugged printers power cable and turned it on.
2. Connected included cable to printer.
3. Opened PDF and tried to print
4. Did step 3 for fucking 20minutes
What went wrong?
I fucking forgot to connect USB cable to my fucking laptop. FML...8
Late in the afternoon right before closing time I wandered into a lunch-having nice little place. There was noone and my sleep-deprived self ordered an espresso. The ~25yrs old barista was kind and smiling and while I was adding some milk to my coffee she suddenly asked:
'Are you an IT guy?'
In shock I said: 'Okay, yes, I do wear glasses and drink coffe, but how did you know?'
'I didn't, but... my printer isn't working at home, can you tell me why?'
At this point I bursted out in laughter and realized that to most people I am a printer fixer. We all are, aren't we?8
You know, I am getting really fucking irate posting them rants about how shitty my job is.
I'm more than fucking competant, but this company is turning me into a blithering, raging, frothing maniac.
I am sitting doing my devOps at the moment. On top of that I am the network admin, the sys admin, the sec admin, the fucking fuck admin (you get the point) and now I am being told to go out and work in the field because "The technician is busy with calls, and doesn't have time". These calls are ALL FUCKING PRINTER CALLS. SET UP USERS TO PRINT AND FUCKING SCAN.
I am not being a shithead by saying no. I have spent the last year or so doing favours for these bastards, I don't get any compensation in any form for it, and it is just making my life hell. The reason I went into devOps is so that I don't have to fucking deal with shit like this. I spent years in the field, and I fucking hated it. I was good at what I did, but I fucking hated it.
Now I am back there. They earn more than i do, those printer techs, but I am doing their fucking work for them. I have even made them simple little fucking scripts so that 90% of their work is done in two clicks.
Fucksakes. Now my motherfucking right shift key doesn't want to operate properly. Been using this keyboard for about 6 years now, and now it decides to fuck out. Fuck.
As standing, I am fucking sick and fucking tired. I am drinking energy drinks and mass amounts of coffee just to stay functional (because I sit up until 12AM trying to get through all my work - everyday of the week). Reported to tech director, doesnt give a single fuck. "Stick around, things will get better".
Yeah, fuck you.
Seriously thinking about freelancing.
Don't know if it pays well though.3
I think I wanna get into AI; I wanna create an AI that configures and troubleshoots printers for me.
Those things are worse than the devil and all his demons together.11
TLDR: There’s truth in the motto “fake it till you make it”
Once upon a time in January 2018 I began work as a part time sysadmin intern for a small financial firm in the rural US. This company is family owned, and the family doesn’t understand or invest in the technology their business is built on. I’m hired on because of my minor background in Cisco networking and Mac repair/administration.
I was the only staff member with vendor certifications and any background in networking / systems administration / computer hardware. There is an overtaxed web developer doing sysadmin/desktop support work and hating it.
I quickly take that part of his job and become the “if it has electricity it’s his job to fix it” guy. I troubleshoot Exchange server and Active Directory problems, configure cloudhosted web servers and DNS records, change lightbulbs and reboot printers in the office.
After realizing that I’m not an intern but actually just a cheap sysadmin I began looking for work that pays appropriately and is full time. I also change my email signature to say “Company Name: Network Administrator”
A few weeks later the “HR” department (we have 30 employees, it’s more like “The accountant who checks hiring paperwork”) sends out an email saying that certain ‘key’ departments have no coverage at inappropriate times. I don’t connect the dots.
Two days later I receive a testy email from one of the owners telling me that she is unhappy with my lack of time spent in the office. That as the Network Administrator I have responsibilities, and I need to be available for her and others 8-5 when problems need troubleshooting. Her son is my “boss” who is rarely in the office and has almost no technical acumen. He neglected to inform her that I’m a part time employee.
I arrange a meeting in which I propose that I be hired on full time as the Network Administrator to alleviate their problems. They agree but wildly underpay me. I continue searching for work but now my resume says Network Administrator.
Two weeks ago I accepted a job offer for double my current salary at a local software development firm as a junior automation engineer. They said they hired me on with so little experience specifically because of my networking background, which their ops dept is weak in. I highlighted my 6 months experience as Network Administrator during my interviews.
My take away: Perception matters more than reality. If you start acting like something, people will treat you like that.3
Heyyy Fellow devRant users, wanted to know has anyone else been in this situation before? it happens to me quite a bit now and usually always makes me laugh :-D, i'll set the scenario for you here.
*Me talking to stranger on the bus*
Me - "How are you doing today mate"
Stranger - "very well thank you, off to work, how about yourself?"
Me - "Very good thanks mate, I'm off to Uni for the day :D"
Stranger - "Thats great, what do you study mate?"
Me - "Well I'm doing a course in Software Development!, i very much enjoy what I'm studying!"
Stranger - "Wow, you must be very good at fixing printers and stuff hey"
well... it sorta ends there but hopefully you get the picture :D, this is usually how my conversations with strangers ends up. As you may notice i tend to 'talk too much' :D,
hope you're having a great night or day where ever you may be :D. - Milo19
Have a client that has a very, very large format printer (think billboards). It's on their network as just another printer, with no special security because everyone "knows" never to print to it....except the new employee who printed her direct-deposit info to it. Got about ten feet(!) into the job before someone realized it wasn't an authorized job.5
Just because a developer is a programming wizard does not mean we are physical hardware installation wizards as well.
I hate when people ask me to setup their personal home systems; especially networked printers.3
We had robotics, or rather an electronics workshop today. Just imagine throwing a bunch of nerds into a room with 3d printers, lots of electronic parts and other tools.
Anyway one of my friends said that his computer wasn't working.
Me: It's running windows so it's broken by default.
Him: common, windows isn't that bad
Me: it is
Our teacher walking by: I'd never want to use windows, it's basically malware
I just sat there smiling 😊3
So the printer tells me "there is no more black ink" so I force opened the cartridge and guess what? Still lots of ink inside -.-
I hate it when you are enrolled in a college for a cse degree but they decide to teach you quantum mechanics and environmental sciences cause you never know, may need them someday. However in the name of cse they teach you what was magnetic optical drive and about mice and printers cause as a cse student you should know how the mouse, the keyboard, printers work. How is electricity that powers your tools is generated? How much energy is generated or required to display the colour on you monitor? And programming, well thats what the company train you in after recruitment!!5
You blame ME because your cocksucking brain isn’t able to configure YOUR fucking client’s printers correctly, and then you come to me as gentle as a dickless goat to help you out because “something screw up”
Fuck your printers.
Fuck your brain.
Fuck your RDS Server.10
People talking about their teachers accusing them of hacking the school databases and the like when just casually programming... the fear might be more justified than you think :P
At my high school, our computers teacher was a bit different; all the systems were running Fedora and a bunch of us "nerds" were allowed to run our server in the back of the class, as well as spend spares and lunches there. He also "happened" to have a bunch of books on Linux and programming lying around...
At the age of 14, we were getting taught how to SSH into servers, execute shell scripts, use terminals to track down each others processes and kill them, launch our own web services, build 3d printers, etc. It was awesome. Routine "kill" wars were totally a thing.
That said, when any other teacher saw anything looking like code on our laptops/library computers, and the school website was freaking out... ya, we were hacking the school website. (To be fair, we also had built it though...)
The funny thing was is that we were actually trying to stop someone on a Mexican IP from messing it up, he somehow had gained a sudo from one of the users and we were all trying to figure out a way to kick him off... but the other teachers thought we were the ones breaking it...
In retrospect, what the hell was our school doing letting a bunch of teenagers manage school infrastructure... also Hi devRant :D4
TL;DR: Printers suck. MS-Word sucks.
Yesterday I wanted to print a few participation certificates for my blender project students.
*Turns on printer, runs downstairs, gets paper, runs upstairs, puts paper in*
So I tried to print in word. Nothing happened. Printer was online. I checked queue: Nothing.
*a couple of tries later*
Okay, fuck it! I export it as a pdf and open it in edge (8 times. 8 documents. Edge is a neat pdf-viewer, fight me). I press print on one. It works. I print the others and check: They look shit. The images look like 25% resolution and 50% jpg compression. I check word.
It by default exports in low quality. Yea, thanks for asking me. I export pdfs again and check "high quality". Open them, print. Done.
These were like 30 wasted minutes and print color. And paper.
Btw they look fucking neat. I can't show them right now but gradient text headline, project name is a rendered and edited 3D object :D4
I used to think I was so clever by viewing the source code of websites, and would just scroll through it for fun, but what really got me started in programming was the TI-83 calculator I got in grade 10.
You couldn't view the code of most programs on that calc without a computer connection, but I managed to get my hands on the source code of something simple and learned how to prompt for values and calculate things with them. Before I knew it, I was making little programs in BASIC that did formulas for me (Area/circumference of a circle, etc.). One of my professors caught me showing my calculator to another student in class, and assumed I was being a bad student. When I said I made a program as a shortcut for one of the formulas we were learning, she tried to call my bluff and said to write the whole program on the whiteboard for the class to see. 10 minutes of writing and more than one blank stare from my classmates later, the teacher just waved me off and continued the lesson. I was chuffed :-). I made these simple programs for all my math classes throughout high school.
Unfortunately, my first year of university I took a CS course, and my teacher was probably the worst I've ever had in my life. I decided it wasn't for me, and though I did maintain my general aptitude for tech (and was still the person who fixed everyone's printers and viruses), I took a different path, eventually getting an Arts degree in Anthropology.
Where I live, the market for this is more than stale. In fact, it's completely flat, so I thought I would take a course about programming with Arduinos for fun and see if I should return to school for a different certification. It was AWESOME! I made a wireless weather station with Xbees and sensors and built my own anemometer.
I got a job at a manufacturing company, and had the fortune to build a robot which eventually made it's way to the second season of Battlebots. The level of intelligence and enthusiasm I encountered really inspired me, and now here I am at 31, halfway through a BSc in Computer Science and working for a company that makes 3D printers.
It's been a long journey, but the adventure always starts anew tomorrow.5
(Call from a distant family member I know by name only)
Him: Hey, blah it's been awhile blah hey so I have this problem with my printer and...
Him: What do you mean you don't know about printers, can I bring it to your hou...<*click*>4
I got a ticket near the end of the day, asking to install a printer on a computer. The branch in question was in a different time zone (I'm in US-Pacific [GMT-07] and the computer was in US-Eastern [GMT-04]). I figured I wouldn't worry about it; after all, I had other tickets to work on that were much higher priority.
The next day I come into work and immediately get a message from one of my East Coast coworkers, telling me that this branch is calling and asking how the printer is coming. I told him to tell them I would call them a bit later. I do a couple of easy jobs and then begrudgingly call the branch. I listen to the phone tree that they have (which requires two button presses instead of one in order to speak with someone) and finally get in contact with a person... only to have the call disconnect.
I call back and ask for the person who called in the ticket and then followed up, who had apparently gone to lunch. I informed the person that I was just going to install the printer and it would be good to go. This would be fine... up until she mentioned she needed scanning functionality.
Now I wasn't sure if the driver we have in AD is set up with the scan functionality, so I said okay, but that meant I would have to get the driver from the website. The connection to our branches are about 1Mbps, so even downloading Java updates (60-ish MB) take about 5-10 minutes on a good day. The file for this printer was about 700MB (thanks HP). So I went and did other stuff while that downloaded.
I come back after it finished and started the install process. Right away it asks to re-seat the USB cable. So I call the branch. The call disconnects. I call again. It disconnects. I call one more time, and finally get the person who called the ticket in. I instruct him to re-seat the cable. He does. The driver starts doing its thing. I tell him I'll call back if I run into any issues and we hang up.
The driver goes through the install process for about 20 minutes, stops at 99%, then fails. I want to restart the computer, just in case there's a conflict somewhere, but that would require calling the store again, so I put it off.
About an hour later I get a message from another East Coast coworker, telling me the branch is calling about the printer again. I was in the middle of another call and said I would call back later. I do. It disconnects. I call again, and get the person who called the ticket in again. I tell him I want to restart the computer, but wasn't sure if it was okay. He checks with the people using it, who says it's okay, so I reboot. I hang up.
Once the computer comes back up I start the install process again. It asks to re-seat the cable. Fuck. I don't want to call the store again, so I open notepad and say "Please take out the printer's USB connection from the back of the computer."
Three. Fucking. People. Saw it. They moved the window and one even tried to close it, but they didn't re-seat the cable. I opened another window, telling them to call me at my number. They didn't. I called them. Got disconnected. I called them again, finally got someone, told them to re-seat the printer cable again. They do, thank god.
I say thank you and hang up. Continue the installer. It stops at 99% again and fails. I reboot the computer; screw it, I'm just going to install the driver from Active Directory. Check Devices and Printers. It's installed successfully. Hallelujah!
I get the printer set up for the various programs they use and print a test page. I call them one last time; their phone system sounding like they were connected via an underwater line connected by tin cans. I get someone.
$me: Hi, I want to know if the printer has printed something.
$them (garbled): -et me shee... yesh, it -rint-d a *beezelborp*.
$me: Perfect, I'm going to close this ticket! Thanks, goodbye! *hangs up*
tl;dr - I hate printers
Since learning electronics I have a new found love for fixing peoples printers:
Now I actually look at it before saying "yep it's fucked! Better get a new one, do you want me to toss the old one for you?"
I'm now only one rail away from having a cnc machine.1
Guys once a friend of my dad asked me if I could help him with his printer because he couldnt connect it and he told me he would pay me a little money. So I thought to myself sure why not it will probably be quite easy and guess FUCKING WHAT... it was xD I just turned on the windows setup for printers on his PC and connected the printer with one button press and I entered a code the printer printed out. He gave me ten bucks and I was there for 5 minutes. Easiest ten bucks of my life xD
does anyone else's boss get pissed off when you can't fix printers/ internet/phone issues? somehow being a Web developer makes you have a special connection with technology apparently5
I'm pretty much sure somewhere in the wide world Web there's a clients community joking about ordering developers to fix their printers and stuff...
while making EEEEVILLLL laughs.2
Last week my university decided to give away old hardware to students (CPUs, displays, keyboard, mouse, speakers, printers etc.). My roommate got me this beast. I was so excited and decided to boot it up only see to GRUB error 22 :( I think the hard drives were wiped before handing it out.
I've never set up a server before and I've been trying to boot up an Ubuntu server via USB drive but it's not detecting the OS installation files. I've been searching all around to make this work but it's not fucking working. I don't have any other cables or CD drive to try something else. I want to make this work. I have exams next week and I can't stop thinking about this. Godammit10
“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”
NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN!
Actually I feel I am prety lucky about the relationship between my yamily and me being a dev. My dad is a developer as well (in fact, he was the one who taught me most of what I know today; not as in general coding, but good and bad programming practices, tips what to do next ...) and my mom just started learning Python.
So they know prety well what it means to be a dev and have quite realistic image of what to expect.
To be fair, I am still the one who usualy fixes broken printers and replugs unplugged ethernet cables. but that is because I enjoy doing that. I take it as a challenge for myself to figure out what/how/when went something wrong. Most of the times I try to figure that even without touching the broken things.
Anyway, getting off topic.
Alltogether I don't think that they have too unrealistic expectations, but if I had to chose one, it'd be my learning capabilities. I can't learn complete java in 2 days ...1
Question: why are plastic encasings for old hardware (computers, printers, keyboards etc) all beige?5
So your friend wants you to make the next big Facebook or Google because they know you can code....lots of rants like that and it gets me as well when I'm fixing printers for family and friends. Thing is these people genuinely just want to do something cool and succeed so they can have a good life. They see what we can do and wish they had the same talent. They have an idea they think will be great, they don't know what we know, and they don't know that it could be the most amazing thing ever and still never take off.
They don't realize to be Facebook or Google you have to sell out your values, morals, and soul. They just think if we can code we should be millionaires. So on that philosophy after just over a year the devRant creators should be rolling in cash right? But pretty sure I saw they are still operating at a loss.
I'd love to be able to have the time to work with each of them, teach them, and guide them through that first failure and let down of realizing that coding doesn't buy a magic ticket to a new life.
// Like anyone ever really fixes a printer //3
Today at 7am i got s phone call please go to this client
I responded sure no problem what am i going to do at this client.....
Don't worry they said you will find out when you get there...
So i go to the client and as I expected its not dev related at all
It was for installation of point of sale tills and printers 😱😱
That are 7 years old with no cables
(2 hour drive to get here)
Anyway I ended up selling hardware to them....this developer is going places 😂🙈1
At my holiday job, I had to call the IT department about a printing issue. They solved it very quickly. Fucking magicians man, how they did it? No fucking clue!5
Printers have always bothered me because I haven’t known how to troubleshoot them.
Today I changed that. I reconfigured my printer and fixed the printer connections on my home computers.
Still hate printers though.2
Goodness. Looking at the wk80 rants, I wonder how people's printers are breaking so often. 😮
Mine hasn't misbehaved in years.5
They make worst fucking printers in the universe. Just because I don’t have color cartridge doesn’t mean I can’t print anything in monochrome! Also apparently my black cartridge is broken, even tho it worked just a minute ago.7
What did I do in my laste moments of 2017?
Found out I could change settings in my printer via FTP / telnet from my computer.3
Inspired by @NoMad. My philosophy is that technology is a means to and ends. We’re a tool oriented species. As it relates to software and hardware, they should be your means to achieve your ends without you needing to think. Think of riding a bicycle or driving a car. You aren’t particularly conscious of them - you just adjust input based on heuristics and reflex - while your doing the activity.
For a long time Software has been horrendously bad at this. There is almost always some setup involved; you need to front-load a plan to get to your ends. Funny enough we’re in the good days now. In the early days of GUI you did have to switch modes to achieve different things until input peripherals got better.
I’ve been using windows from 95 and to this day, though it’s gotten better it’s not trivial to setup an all in one printer and scan a document - just yesterday I had to walk my mother through it and she’s somewhat proficient. Also when things break it’s usually nightmare to fix, which is why fresh installing it periodically is s meme to this day. MS still goes to great lengths with their UI so that most people can still get most of their daily stuff done without a manual.
I started Linux in University when I was offered an intro course on the shell. I’ve been using it professionally ever since. While it’s good at making you feel powerful, it requires intricate knowledge to achieve most things. Things almost never go smoothly no matter how much practice you have, especially if you need to compile tools from source. It also has very little in the ways of safe guards to prevent you from hurting yourself. Sure you might be able to fix it if you press harder but it’s less stress to just fresh install. There is also nothing, NOTHING more frustrating than following documentation to the T and it just doesn’t work! It is my day job to help companies with exactly this. Can’t really give an honest impression of the GUI ux as the distros have varying schools of thoughts with their desktop environments. Even The popular one Ubuntu did weird things for a while. In my humble opinion, *nix is better at powering the internet than being a home computer your grandma can use.
Now after being in the thick of things, priorities change and you really just want to get things done. In 2015 I made the choice to go Mac. It has been one of my more interesting experiences. Honestly, I wish more distros would adopt its philosophy. Elementary only adopted the dock. It’s just so intuitive. How do you install an application? You tap the installer, a box will pop up then you drag the icon to the application folder (in the same box) boom you are done. No setup wizards. How to uninstall? Drag icon from app folder to trash can. Boom done. How to open your app? Tap launch pad and you see all your apps alphabetically just click the one you want. You can keep your frequent ones on the dock. Settings is just another app in launchpad and everything is well labeled. You can even use your printers scanner without digging through menus. You might have issues with finder if your used to windows though and the approach to maximizing and minimizing windows will also get you for a while.
When my Galaxy 4 died I gave iPhone a chance with the SE. I can tell you that for most use cases, there is no discernible difference between iOS and modern android outside of a few fringe features. What struck me though was the power of an ecosystem. My Mac and iPhone just work well together. If they are on the same network they just sync in the background - you need to opt in. My internet went down, my iMac saw that my iPhone had 4g and gave me the option to connect. One click your up. Similar process with s droid would be multi step. You have airdrop which just allows you to send files to another Apple device near you with a tap without you even caring what mechanism it’s using. After google bricked my onHub router I opted to get Apples airport series. They are mostly interchangeable and your Mac and iOS device have a native way to configure it without you needing to mess with connecting to it yourself and blah. Setup WiFi on one device, all your other Apple devices have it. Lots of other cool stuff happen as you add more Apple devices. My wife now as a MacBook, an IPad s d the IPhone 8. She’s been windows android her life but the transition has been sublime. With family sharing any software purchase works for all of us, and not just apples stuff like iCloud and music, everything.
Hate Apple all you want but they get the core tenet that technology should just work without you thinking. That’s why they are the most valued company in the world14
That absolutely glorious fucking moment when you have to pay >1'000 bucks a semester and STILL have to shell out 15 goddamn bucks to print out a motherfucking script. That's like 2 beers!9
I want to rage at printers until my wrists are destroyed, like RMS did (atleast thats my theory on how he got his wrists bad).
Whoever thaugt that a scarse doc is sufficient to make devs understand bootloaders shall die amongst all the kevins1
*Not a rant, but a very long vent*
I'm 20 and facing the worst dilemma I ever experienced.
Been working at a company for more than half a year, got the job thru a friend and started as an intern to take care of customer problems, crap they do to PC's, printers that wouldn't work, answer emails and phone calls about our point-of-sale software.
Soon everything started to change, on one day my boss asked my what I knew about coding, all I could answer was about some really basic stuff that I learnt on a previous semester at college, just some very basic coding stuff we got for C, how for loops works, conditions, that kind of thing. Soon I was being asked to code a client management software for our company, I was starting to grasp a little of this wonderful world, soon I could write some more complex code in C#, even did a program that in 30 seconds did a 3 day's worth of work, and then I got assigned to develop a mobile POS application, earned a raise, and man, is this wonderful.
I feel that I really found my place in life, found something that makes me jump out of bed every morning.
But here comes the dilemma part: I'm enrolled in a mechanical engineering school for two years now, and it's my second place already (been enrolled at a agronomy school before that) and I'm starting to feel out of place, in all the classes I'm taking, I cant help but feel that this isn't for me, I don't see myself doing that for a future, but I don't know if jumping to another boat would make it any better or just worse, I don't know how good are my odds at a tech oriented course are, I don't really know what to do with the rest of my life.
Guess I'm just afraid of doing something stupid and regret it later, don't know if I should listen to the voice that shouts to me to do whatever I want to with my life or the one that assures me of a stable path... Don't know if anyone will read this much, but if so, thanks a lot, just wanted to put it out of my shoulders and maybe get to know anyone that has been here. I'm new here, but I feel already at home. ☺9
qberry1 [2:54 PM]
routers need to go on the technology list of shitty tech
qberry1 [3:04 PM]
working on a rant
may post it on devrant
Here is a list of technologies that I hate.
Can we not make a printer that isn't a POS? We've been making them for years and they still suck.
It is supposed to be convenient, but it never pairs when you want it to. It is always when you are driving and dont have time to mess with it that it doesn't work.
See above for details.
Can we not make a router that lasts longer than a year?
trying to think of more shit
lquessenberry [3:05 PM]
God Damn Laptop Hinges
On anything but MacBooks
qberry1 [3:05 PM]
what a load of shit
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
Yeah fucking 48 bit napster mp3s sound better than Satellite radio
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
if i wanted to hear music that sounds like ballsack i'll go download it from napster
lquessenberry [3:09 PM]
qberry1 [3:09 PM]
lquessenberry [3:10 PM]
Fuck it dude, copy paste this convo as the rant
Oh dude and fucking self serve checkouts. Fuck that shit.1
I fucking hate printers. And printers hate me too.
I've been working as a software engineer for almost seven years now, and not a single day as a printer technician, which does not stop my mother from calling me each time a printer breaks down, as she did today. I hop over to her place, the printer is connected via usb into the ethernet socket, but she swears it's been printing an hour ago, and she hasn't moved a thing. - "weird", I think, "it must be connected wirelessly". Suddenly my sister, who's an Arts major, comes over, saying her printer broke down too - "cool so they're both wifi printers". I reset the router and my sister's printer springs back to life.
But my mom's printer, which is old and in bad shape (the printer, not my mom! assholes...), doesn't. It keeps on displaying a weird error message, and fails to receive any print job, whether wired or wireless.
I spent 15 seconds resetting the router, and 15 minutes troubleshooting mom's printer. Nothing worked.
I finally give up and leave the house.
Not a minute goes by and I receive a "your sister fixed the printer" text from mom.
I fucking hate printers.6
COBOL, Clipper, DBase, FlashCode, DOS 3.30, Novell, dot-Printers ... Now learning Swift... Emojis for variables! ... I'm to old for this..... Damn millennial languages.5
Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?
Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.
Me: What about printers?
Coworker: They have printer cables....
Me: WHICH ARE USB!
Coworker: ....Oh yeah...2
Wireless printers are evil...
Mom's computer: Page with useless print on, then blank pages, then nothing.
My computer: Nothing
E-mail to printer: Printer says there's no paper. Wrong format?
Print from phone using wifi-direct (after realizing the automatic mode for this does NOTHING): Manual mode gives me confirmation box for connection on printer at least... "connecting..." one minute later connection times out.
Somehow using a wireless printer just never comes without some pain. And always when I have other stuff I should be doing...7
I'm working on a firmware for 3d printers. I had to send a lot of data to another microcontroller and I was making a very sophisticated protocol. When finished I was so proud of my work but in that moment I remember that there is a thing called JSON but I didn't care. Now I have to send the same data to a webserver and need to move from my own protocol to JSON.
What I say:
I understand computers.
What others understand:
I am the god of Computers I understand every Language that ist out There and what I cant solve is impossible...2
How is it that on Linux/Mac you can easily connect to your remote printer with a click of a button, but on windows you have to torture yourself with drivers and manual configuration?4
Just a bit of time ago, I opened my printer, I connected it to my PC and a message on the screen popped up, saying "your print cartridges are counterfeit".
Wtf, I bought them at a normal, very well known italian technology store.
Turns out, they were just dried out, so I had to rub the part where ink comes out (I don't know what's it called, forgive me 😅) and all was good.
The best part of this was that, when the message popped up, it also said "discover the advantages of buying *original* HP cartridges", with a button underneath it saying "HP Rewards".
[ Inspired by https://www.devrant.io/rants/703435 ]5
Since there has been a lot of talk about fixing printers lately.. Who creates them and their internal software/drivers!?4
I am a hobby programmer, far away from finally turning my hobby into a profession BUT already they ask me to fix their FUCKING PRINTERS........ whooot da fuk?!?!3
-Dream with code.
-Compulsion to start coding every no profitable projects that I imagine.
-Buy a lot of programming books.
-Want to have the source code of my favorite DOS games.
-Hate business people.
-Love language wars like a viking.
-Hate every non programmers.
What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.
Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.
For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!1
Let me introduce you to sys. admin + network admin + teacher at our school... She gave us "materials" to study for our school-leaving exams (called matura here - wiki that shit) so I looked at it and just had to comment everything that's wrong (and that's only the first paragraph)...
Apart from making utterly useless documents she also likes to think she is the best in the world and what she says is right and everyone is wrong. Networks that she builds crash 8 times a month, she can't install proper drivers and believes that open source and GNU/Linux is evil. (She also lives by herself, is around 48 years old, is a lesbian(not that it is a bad thing - just for context) and got one brilliant teacher who actually knew what she was saying and doing fired because she broke up with her)
Thinking about it - no wonder my classmates are all so confused and stressed... she can't teach and says bullshit like printers work with the RGB color space and when confronted she would shout that there are no printers that use CMYK, she has never seen one so they do not exist. (only to proceed changing CMYK ink cartridges in the printer)... I mean it's good for me because I get to teach pretty girls programming and informatics but I am sorry for the boys... Unfortunately I don't have the patience to teach someone programming and informatics unless they are a girl and I see a chance to evaluate that person's qualities to be a girlfriend.8
At my incubation place they put up these new, shinny tables and cupboards.
I was hoping maybe they will put a coffee machine. Instead they shifted the printers.
Talk about aesthetics.2
Someone knows about delta printers? I build one with a 8 bit mcu and I'm planning to upgrade to 32 bit. What do you think about it?6
Repair printers... Somehow writing code translates to the ability to fix any printer problem in their minds.3
I told you guys that I would update you on my PiBM-5150 project. I figured out the hard way that my USB to DB-25 cable wouldn't cut it. Seems it is for printers and no matter how hard I tried it wouldn't work because of the path of the wires. After researching, it is apparent that the GPIO pins on the pi are configured for serial by default but it requires a little voltage change from TTY to RS-232. Rather than do like one of the videos I saw and solder junk to a bread board, I found a serial (rs-232) shield and 9pin output for the pi. Now, both computers are true rs-232 each. Instead of using a modem between them, I bought a null modem cable (crossover of Tx Rx signals) to interface the two machines directly. I'll update this evening to show it hopefully working.
Fun fact. I work for a 20-year old company that does software which mostly does print outputs. 95% of our clients actually use it specifically and exclusively to print their invoice runs. There are over 25 printers in this office, 5 of which are within chair-rolling distance of my desk.
I don't know how to use or fix any of them. I must be a *really bad* developer. >.<3
Just finished a app for mapping printers based purely on convention in a Citrix environment, no manual config needed. Chief of operations said "it's fixing stuff like this that should trigger a bonus, too bad we're the government". (Yay, thanks for rubbing it in).
Then I responded "I'll get my reward in heaven as usual, then". CIO says: "but you're not going there...."
Guess I just need a fire extinguisher then. Thanks boss.1
p r i n t e r s
I was about to print a bigass document. Wanted to save paper, and saw my printer had a two side mode. I try it out. A few pages print, then the driver says PAUSED - RELOAD PAPER. This is normal, as double sided printing is not automatic. Underneath, there is a message:
[Printing - Manual Duplex: Please reinsert pap...]
I try to resize the window to read the message.
THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW WAS NOT RESIZEABLE!!!
are these products not fucking tested???
I find a guide saying the paper should be reinserted with no flips, then the "continue" button should be pressed.
The button was not in the driver UI, or on the printer. Further research showed that you are supposed to:
OPEN THE TONER CHANGE DOOR AND CLOSE IT AGAIN TO CONTINUE A PRINT
what fuCKING designer thought this shit through!?#@?#$!
At work we've been having problems with printers... Like anyone that has to deal with printers.
They kept disappearing and reappearing for users on every log on.
We got a support contact with Microsoft because it was group policy doing it.
Their final solution (after weeks of remote sessions and long phone calls) is to install pstools on every machine, and run about 7 commands as the system user to delete and then re add registry keys.
ON EVERY LOG ON AND LOG OFF. WTF...
This is an educational institution where "computer hacking" is taught... It's not gonna take long before someone realises that pstools is installed...1
Coolest project was an order and billing solution for restaurants on Palm handhelds, written in C.
The cool thing was to completely develop the Bluetooth stack for communicating with printers for orders and bills.
This was the project to really teach me the diff between & and *.
Must have been around 2003, but I bet it's still running.
Finally learning Kali linux. And one of the few who plans to use it legitely. We rely on network setup for our system for the computers and printers mainly. sometimes stores change stuff without telling us and my networking knowledge is rather limited. i think learning stuff in kali will let me learn "backdoor" ways of doing things when conventional methods don't work.
Why in the fucking hell do people keep thinking that swapping their stations and printers around is a good idea? This is the 3rd time this month that this store has pulled this crap. More so is they decide to so it during their dinner rush which is always fun to fix
Most interesting bug caused - created printer driver for vietnamese diacritical marks for old matrix printer without VN support by switching to graphics mode and plotting the dots and dashes. Print speed reduced about 200x and printer shook itself to pieces by rotating the cylinder back and forth. Oh well... Ended up buying two new laser printers instead.1
Learn how to fix printers and become tech support
If you can beat them, join them, especially when you can't really do what you really want2
I'm actually looking for a new job.
A friend of mine: "I heard that company X is looking for informaticians."
Me: "And what is the job exactly? Do you know which languages/technologies they are asking for?"
Friend: "Fixing computers/printers problems and form employer on how to use product Y"
Me: "No way."
Me: "..." (Long explanation on the difference between developer and technical support)
I should have understood when she said "informatician" instead of "developer"..1
Why do devs automatically become the ones who can apperantly repair not working printers? Seriously, a friend of mine wrote to me today like I can actually do something without seeing it first. I'm not saying I can't do something about them but I don't want to because it takes time, and I would have to see it irl, it's so fucking annoying.6
Spent an hour on the phone with my dad because I needed him to scan and email a PDF. Literally no idea how to use a scanner, he got incredibly agitated as we worked through it, but the fax machine? Well that device is just human ingenuity at its finest apparently because that's would've saved him this headache!
Dad I don't even own a fax machine you wouldn't be able to fax it to me anyways.2
Printers are the most annoying thing. Why can't iPhone and iPad print to normal printers? WHY CANT WORD PRINT TO MY 3D PRINTER???
Im planning to buy a 3D printer soon, and I got a budget about 150$ and I could go higher a bit maybe. So do you guys know any nice 3D printers for that price?4
eTime Xpress by Celayix Software
Quite possibly the worst time and attendance software on the market. The only reason the company is still using it is because the big cheese refuses to pay any per user fees for any product whatsoever.
It requires an installation of Ericom because all supervisors must log in to schedule employees and record hours for payroll.
Printing is a nightmare to support because you're essentially printing through RDP and all print drivers for everyone's assortment of crappy printers must be installed on the server.
The software supports SOAP API calls, but it can't handle more than three concurrent requests without barfing, so you have to code your application around that...
I could go on...
Just realised - even if I are usually on collision course with central IT they save me a whole lot of "can you help me with this?" by not letting us do anything ourselves. Printers, new software, settings, startpages, drivers, browsers etc. Everything has to go through them.
Add the fact that the last Windows machine I've had was a P4 when XP came out and I'm in the clear for a whole lot of helping out. "Sorry but I only use Debian and OS X, but you could ask our IT people" :)
8 hours trying to get the fuking print orientation to work with crystal reports. Had to shift to esc/pos and I dont know how to tell it the size of the page. Someone can help?
So this week I'm working with special purpose printers (Dymo, Label, Card-printers).
They only connect via USB and there are no linux drivers, so CUPS on a Pi and sharing them won't work '-.-
Guess I'll try that USB over IP thing and see how that goes.3
Exhausted af. Since Sunday been trying to get a decade old social grants payment delphi app that ran on win xp to work; and this is a couple of exes on different client/server machines communicating with cash dispensers, fingerprint readers, receipt printers as well as webcam. Apparently someone is searching archives for the source code which I will have to eventually customise to whatever the fuck "management" wants cause they want to "revive" the system. Ohh and by the way I'm not a delphi dev so now I'll have to learn
Thankfully sunday nights are slow here. Gives me time to study....until some jackass calls saying they swapped 3 of their network printers on a different network.....
I always hear stories about someone hearing one of our developer friends is a developer and assumes that means they know everything about computers. Hell, I've had it happen to me before (usually the common "oh I have an app idea that's better than facebook! you just have to build it")
A big one I hear if someone asking a developer that has only worked with software to help fix a hardware issue or build a computer. Personally, I'd prefer if someone asked me about a hardware issue (except printers, fuck printers) or to build a computer for them. I've been called a rare breed for knowing about an equal amount about computer hardware and software.
I'd much rather do some physical work building a computer (as simple as a hello world program, a lot of it is putting shit where it fits) than build an entire website or program for someone. But I mean, I might actually know hardware a bit better than I know software, and that's just me. (Obviously never do anything for free when you could be paid for it)
I need to create a custom offline interface for 3D Printers that will run on Raspberry Pi 3. Any ideas how to implement this?