30
arcsector
16d

Manager: "Can we get an accurate report on how many containers we have on the Kubernetes cluster?"

Me: "Well not really since Kubernetes is designed to be dynamic and agile with the number of resources and containers being created and deleted being subject to change at a moment's notice."

Manager: "I want numbers"

Me: "Okay well if we look at a simple moving average over time, we can see how the number of containers changes and then grab a rough answer from that"

Manager: "These numbers look a little round, are you sure these are exact?"

I'm going to throw myself into a pile of used heroin needles and hope i get stuck with whatever the hell this guy has to somehow be a manager while also being this retarded.

Comments
  • 12
    Maybe try a "it varies from X to Y, averaging at Z", and add quantiles for more flare?
  • 17
    Use a different font.
  • 6
    Let him look at the prometheus graphs directly.
  • 10
    Instore a new, dynamic system where an automatic need turret shoots him with green darts when new instances are spun up and red ones when one shuts down.
  • 13
    Maybe create a script to send him emails with the exact number every few minutes?
  • 3
    @CptFox now that's a system i can get behind
  • 12
    Try to use this one.
    Tell him it will notify him for each change.
  • 6
    2i is a valid number, completelly imaginary, but valid
  • 6
    hmmm but why does he want to know?
    Is he aiming to some ill-designed attempt to save money, or he want just to measure his dick at the golf club: "Yeah, well, you know, I have more than n-hundreds kubernetes containers down there"

    If it's the latter, it could just make up any number
  • 4
    Pipe it to a chart at then make the chart update every few seconds. Put CCS transition on your curves/bars whatever.

    Let them SEE IT MOVE.
  • 5
    I would just gave him the current number.
    If he want's to know on the fly - make a e-mail cron for for him.

    But since this is devRant: what a total bastard! How can he even breath? A restriction on a keyboard for a guy like that!

    :)
  • 6
    Manager: "I want numbers"

    Yeah, that summarizes managers alright. Bunch of dumbasses.
  • 7
    @CaptainRant no manager ever: i want to understand the numbers
  • 4
    @HiFiWiFiSciFi and then silently switch the feed from "live number of instances" to "(integer) value of bitcoin with a delay of X months such they the switch is seamless", don't forget to take pictures of the paramedics coming to get him after his heart attack...
  • 0
    @jonathands that's too complex
  • 1
    I'd ask why...

    My paranoia tells me he's gonna use them in an inappropriate way.

    As I'm a cockroach in paranoia mode, I'd make an appointment and discuss it.

    Most likely he just needs his head tilted in the right direction with a frying pan... Eh got it explained slowly so he has the brilliant realization by his own that our systems are super smart at readjusting themselves depending on pressure.
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