How to offend potential clients with sales emails:

“Hey again, <name>!​

Don't understand TikTok? Don't worry - you're talking to a Gen Z now.

I wanted to follow up on my previous note and see if you had any availability this week or next week to connect.”

Apparently not interested and not responding means you must be too old to understand those meddling kids and their internet toys.

I want to slap the fucking life out of the assholes who send these.

Tik tok is so 2020 according to my teenage son

I just got a very similar message on LinkedIn last week but that one literally addressed me by "<firstName>" rather than my actual name.
Or is that also how you meant it?

@Alt-Tab no, they actually had my name, but still…makes me want to beat them with the cane and dentures they think I have.

I keep getting one from a sales guy at another tech company, I'm used to the kind of "we really think there's a potential synergy" bollocks, but he's so persistent and obnoxious with "I think my last email must have gotten lost in the post!" kind of stuff that I've started replying with blank emails.

Going on the replies, it's slowly driving him insane.

@MM83 just respond back with,

I'm afraid

Still trying to figure out what a gen z is
And that phrase was first coined to me when you people were young morons busily being miserable excuses for human beings constructing a loop that would keep your chomo whore asses trapped forever boffing old men

Good job on that note btw

@killames you havin a stroke there bud?

I think you were trying to insult me but I just couldn't get it.

@nibor if that is true I approve of how you raised your son. I am genuinely happy to hear that not all kids do that stuff.
Because it's just pure cancer with a side of CCP.

For maximum damage, I'd just reply with "Ur cringe af".

@sariel need some lotion eh ? I rest my case

@killames @sariel You two should kiss, the tension has finally peaked 🤣

@PonySlaystation he can kiss me
Just not in the lips and at this point not on the ass

@killames looks like somebody pissed in your corn flakes 🤣

@PonySlaystation oh it’s constant hypocrisy ! And repetition everywhere !

I just suggested I’d gut the same spider walrus and work his mouth like a puppet

Which of course I can’t do because dispatching of him would be immediately traceable even if he is a piece of chomo trash so are the local cops

@PonySlaystation you people always act like our lives are easy and in fact they’re a constant emotional roller coaster that eventually wears out our ability to feel as we wish to

While you smiling labotomized whores get to live without being interrupted and should love when we stick something in you since were the far less sadistic option

I just want to rip a kidnappers stomach out with a hook and pile and maybe feed a little of his own lard on/to him and get some head without having to put on some production or worry about someone being allowed to reoffend afterwards is that too much to ask yet again ?

@PonySlaystation nope it’s more what you people said and always have said starting with dear old dad saying things like “you just exist”‘with malice in his voice

Everything that has ever been happy for me was spoiled by you people and it would be easier to pity someone who made a declaration like that if I didn’t know how many people suffer from things like that AND LIE Anout some pretty large pretty serious sins

@PonySlaystation but hey if you’d like to know how much more horrifying and unacceptable my life has been than someone who always has comfort I can tell you anything from witnessing mutilation to being in fear of death to fighting and losing against men so much larger than me they beat me till I physically couldn’t move to spending time a prisoner for no valid reason over and over and watching as the loop being created in this manner was closed and seeing everyone become a ducking robot that always has

But yeah giving me some head without expecting to destroy another life when that’s really all they do anyway that’s a lot to ask

People should thank god we don’t schitz out as much as we should !

@killames And at what point is this my fault?

@PonySlaystation you’re part of the class of people that are responsible
I can tell by the things you just said
Sounds like dear old dad
And then you also said them here

I don’t want to be part of your pointless slave system
I never did
I see no issue with simply shooting you all and raising the next generation. Of offspring as free actually living kind individuals who grow up to be something other than a lie
It confuses me how you can all be ok with what’s been happening
How making a loop of events and living in that loop could ever be seen as preferable and then the lie that it’s been going on forever when your bills hit didn’t reach precedence until the original 2020

And we had this conversation before

@killames You sound like hitler who blames a group of people for all the wrong in the world, wanting to get rid of them.
Seriously, please get help.

@PonySlaystation I don’t think hating people who constructed a hidden economy based off providing victims to wealthy and middle class sex offenders so they could keep hiding and then turned their children into quiet abused slaves and then made them the same as their abusers after a few generations and have constructed a loop of events to keep providing for these people meanwhile crashing the economy of the USA periodically to force their kids to work as whores and steal away and control the lives of the few free and truly living people left count as the Jews
But even if they did
Sieg heil mutter ficker

@killames The question is, what can you do about it?
Being a cunt on devRant will certainly not help you.

@killames I think you should seek help. I see you do this on here quite a lot. It's weird and signposts a lot more about you than you realise.

Is it stuffy in that closet?

@sariel Dude, can you stop putting nitromethane in the flames, please?

@sariel oh you gotta do better than that

Use any of your female family members as a model of behavior
You’ll eventually feel and grope your way around to the proper solution

Which is to blow me

@MM83 what the didn’t murder any of the people in
My environment I see repeatedly closely that a member of law enforcement once pointed out to me closet ?

We fed an AI a thousand Breitbart comment threads, took out what little punctuation there was, and called it @killames