60
boombodies
145d

Manager: How come the push to prod didn’t happen?

Dev: We told you at the scrum yesterday. To reiterate, our dev environment was crashing so it’s not safe to push to prod until that is fixed.

Manager: Ok well lets set a goal to fix that and push to prod happens today so that it guaranteed happens.

Dev: That was our goal yesterday and it definitely didn’t happen.

Manager: I AM AWARE OF THAT. The corrective action is that this time compliance with the goal is 100% ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY!!

Dev: We’ll do our best, can’t guarantee anything until we figure out what the nature of what is occurring on dev though.

Manager: NO. I AM THE BOSS. YOU WILL 100% ABSOLUTELY COMPLY WITH THIS. THAT IS AN ORDER. YOU WILL SUCCESSFULLY GET THIS UPDATE OUT TO PROD TODAY. ANYTHING LESS THAN THAT SHALL BE CONSIDERED INSUBORDINATION. I WANT STATUS UPDATES EVERY 15 MINUTES ON WHERE WE ARE AT WITH THIS.

Dev: …

Dev: Can I get you to send me that request in an email?

*Manager leaves the meeting*

// *****************************

Job search is ticking along. It’s tough going though because I currently make ~120k and the best offers I’ve received so far are all ~70k because “You only have 2 years experience so you couldn’t possibly have the skills to be worth 120k. You are are junior level developer and 70K is already overpaying for you. We can pay you more later™. No we will not give you that in writing”. Ah well, the hunt continues.

Comments
  • 11
    Been there, done that.

    Worked for a software company and yes, if something was due today, well you had till 23:59 to finish...

    for the boss, one day = 24h. Plenty enough time to fix stuff haha

    Anyways, after 2 years, I changed. Now rules are clear. Overtime is not payed = I don't do overtime xD All software I make now is only for internal usage. Less shit from customers. (But colleagues can also be a pain sometimes)
  • 6
    Your boss is such a scrum master, and you get paid to endure that bullshit. Maybe someday you got paid to be the scapegoat to blame for a failing project?

    Sounds like a place I would not want to work at all.
  • 8
    At this point I am 100% sure your manager is one of:
    1. Monkey with a realtime language translator device
    2. Badly coded chatbot
    3. 4 years old child
    4. Alien that trolls you and streams everything happening in your company to an interdimensional cable.
  • 4
    @fraktalisman scum master**

    Ftfy
  • 7
    "Job search is ticking along"

    Make sure you analyze how you end up with employers like this. This is starting to sound like the guy who always ends up with the crazy ass girl friends.
  • 1
    @boombodies @fraktalisman scum master**

    I thought that's what I intended to type, either it was Grammarly or my conservative education that changed it back to "scrum" XD
  • 2
    I hope you’ll find a good place to work which pays well so that you can leave the shithole that you are currently in.
    You deserve it.
    Try to find out how the work culture and the people are at your potential new place, to avoid the same shit again.
  • 0
    @fraktalisman Lol I figured as much
  • 1
    @Demolishun It’s only been one employer so far so I’m not officially a sadist yet, we’ll see how the next one goes
  • 5
    If managers ignore psychological and health issues, fuck them.

    A deadline or better an estimated time of finish is never set in stone.

    We all are human mortals.

    The sooner everyone would finally realize this the better the world would be.

    We can die every second, be it just for the fun of an aneurysm exploding in our brain, an bacteria organism eating our flesh, an electrical surge turning us into Kentucky Fried Humans, another mortal human killing us... So many possibilities.

    Hence we say it's an estimate of time, not a fixed point of time. Fixed point of time would mean we would be able to compensate for all possibilities - which is impossible unless we're an omnipotent being. Which we are definitely not.

    QED.
  • 3
    @Grumm "there's plenty of time, you see, a day has 24 hours and if that doesn't suffice you can work through the night"
  • 1
    Fuck that scum master.

    I'm relating hard to people mentioning 24 hour days in comments.

    I hope you get a 140k or higher offer soon.

    Linkedin gets a lot of shit (rightly so), but it can help.
    Also try remote job portals and if you are into any particular tech, check out discord groups/subreddits specific to those. They usually have an active jobs channel.
  • 1
    Also who the fuck is saying jr level is 2 yoe. Smh. Tbh, try padding that up to 4 and see what happens. They’ll never know
  • 0
    @anux Any remote job portals you would recommend?
  • 3
    @boombodies check weworkremotely for web dev and devops related jobs.

    There's nodesk.co where cool people like Signal, DuckDuckGo and even Reddit are hiring. They have mobile and web dev jobs.

    Again, subreddits post good remote jobs too. Since you are in Canada, you'll be eligible wrt timezone for a lot of them. Checkout communities for tech you are interested in.
  • 1
    @anux Cheers man, I’ll check it out
  • 1
    I really liked the in writing response (on both counts)
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