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My work started working on an adult goods site and every once in a while I hear phrases like "Wait, go back to anal", " Can I take a look at sex toys", etc. We're all pretty professional about it, but I still get caught off guard when I hear those convos haha.2
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Well my home office is a proper mess currently. It isn't so much an office as a corner desk in the child's nursery, but house hunting went on hold.
It features the likes of my devrant ducky, crazy aarons thinking putty, a stuffed gnu, and a galileo thermometer among other paraphernalia; also a plastic goat that screams when I push down on it. That last one is a huge help to me these last few weeks.
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-_- every time I use windows recently, I'm reminded of why I haven't for years... I swear, the simplest things are so freaking hard to do. It's like, windows doesn't support W, but blog post A references program B, which converts Z into Y, and after spending 3 more hours googling I find programs C and D, which convert Y into X, and then X into W. Were you able to follow along? Yeah, neither can I. The logo comes up and I immediately get PTSD and start falling down Alice's rabbit hole only to realize I've just wasted 5 hours of my life...
Unfortunately, ASUS is horrible and refuses to make even the most basic, minimally-functioning Linux drivers, or provide anybody with the resources to do it themselves, and they put everything on GPIO chips capable of frying the laptop!!! I'm so freaking done...
I feel like an adult locked in a child-safe playroom full of baby toys...22 -
So I get a message from my ex-colleague today, and it’s déjà vu all over again.
Apparently, the CTO at my old company went full Hulk in the office this morning, demanding to know who used the ops@ email to subscribe to something called "custom purring ASMR." If that sounds familiar, buckle up - this one’s even better.
For context, this is the same company where I once had to explain to the CFO why our tech@ email got invoiced for "panties juice, extra virgin." If you don’t remember… Yeah, I left, but the shenanigans clearly stayed. Here’s a spot-the-difference picture: https://devrant.com/rants/6213132/...
Turns out, one of the devs was testing an API integration for some niche subscription platform. Nothing new there — sandbox environments, dummy accounts, €5 test payments. Except genius over here decides to jazz it up and names the testing account: "Cat Daddy Deluxe, meow to pay." Obviously not meant for production, right?
Fast forward to yesterday (yes, Friday): the platform goes live without clearing the sandbox database. Dev’s test account? Now the default subscription for every new creator. Not only that, but every 1k subscribers it "wins" a discount for the next most popular account. What are the top 5 other popular accounts?
5. "Leather Daddy Lullabies" – soothing bedtime stories narrated by a guy in full BDSM gear.
4. "ASMR For Adult Toys" – exactly what it sounds like, but HR will still ask.
3. "Moaning Meditation Mondays" – very NSFW guided mindfulness exercises... weekly!
2. "Kinksploration 101" – a podcast exploring bizarre fetishes you wish you didn’t know about.
1. And last but not least, "Spicy Grandma Diaries" – erotic stories written and narrated by a sweet old lady from the local senior centre, apparently depicting real-life escapades from her 70s. In great detail.
Here’s the kicker. Friday, ops@ gets two discount emails. The same guy who roasted the “panties” girl the hardest, the very one who caused this mess, is now sure they’ve finally sent him more accounts to test - because clearly, those can’t be meant for production. Right?
Long story short: he spent €118 of real-life company funds, and IT is now on the hook for lifetime memberships to “Purring Dominance 101” and “Whisker Tickler Masterclass.” How satisfying is it to see the universe balance all his not-so-funny comments?
Also, I’m definitely getting them to forward me those whisker-tickler classes. No matter how good you think you are, some areas of life always have room for improvement.4
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