The startup sound of MAMP has me flashback to the 90s... They just decided to use the aim instant message received sound when this thing powers on? Haha.

The finger print scanner on my new phone is slower than my old phone

I just misread Cinco de Mayo as Cisco de Mayo and started imagining what kind of party Cisco de Mayo would be....

My work started working on an adult goods site and every once in a while I hear phrases like "Wait, go back to anal", " Can I take a look at sex toys", etc. We're all pretty professional about it, but I still get caught off guard when I hear those convos haha.

Sometimes in my code, I'll set a variable to "Jesus" so that when testing, I get to tell myself "Time to find Jesus"

My favorite item on my desk is my "Tiny" Dota2 demihero vinyl. He can hold all kinds of stuff like my pens, glasses, earbuds, and whatevs. Here he is holding my SlothBacca hat!

girl friend: What kind of stripper would you want for a Bachelorette party?!?

me: no stripper...

girl friend: like a coding stripper?

me: what?

girl friend: he'd come out and be like, one zero one one zero one...

me: I love that you think I code in binary hahaha

girl friend: like the matrix!

me:
*pauses*
*contemplates explaining what binary is*
yes, like the matrix

:D

Oracle acquired Netsuite. How boring.

I wanted my MySpace and Xanga to look better and function better than everyone else's.

I created a very basic directory on my xanga linking people's real names to their respective xanga for my group of friends. I started getting requests to add people to my directory. All my friends would go to my xanga first so they could easily find our friend's xangas.

I created social networking.

lol jk.

But it felt good knowing that I made the Internet a bit easier to use.

Stackoverflow is down... hello weekend!

If you had a dollar for every time someone has told me "I have an app idea" , you would have enough money to hire me to build your app.

Just got a response back from an API "you must authenticate to get the goodies"

Anyone else go incognito when searching for embarrassing programming questions? #theshameisreal

Oh, the requirements completely changed? That's cool. I'll just place all my work over here in this pile with the Sega Saturn, zune, and the batman vs superman movie... you know the "it could have been glorious, but it turned out to be complete garbage" pile