About// TODO: write bio
Joined devRant on 3/10/2020
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Got me a new mouse pad since the only one I had was branded with my last jobs logo. Mordor is right where I usually rest my hand so it will eventually get dirtier and therefore more evil.8
One of the worst weekends of my adult life. I'm flying to attend my best friends funeral tomorrow. My flight is delayed over 6 hours by a cyclone that already passed over my house 3 days ago. And I am still in my 90 days at my new job so I can't take any PTO and have to take a redeye Monday morning and be back online for standup.3
It really irritates me when other engineers of various levels get hung up on pedantic, low hanging fruit bullshit in my merge requests. Like really, why keep a thread going just to force me to explain why I chose to make a particular magic string a constant that you don't see a use for? What about all the infrastructure setup code I spent 3 days on? Did you even read any of that to make sure it was sound and that my dumb/drunk/tired ass didn't make an obvious mistake, or could have done it better?2
My gods, writing software for an *actual* software company now, it truly amazes me just how frustrating my life has been for years...1
Went into the office today to turn in my badge and gun (security badge/parking pass and yubikeys really) since I'm pretty much being given my last week before changing jobs to do brain dumps for knowledge transfer, and fuck all else.
Found a jar of moonshine in a closet when I went to take my things. IT said I could keep it. Not a bad parting gift.
So the last 2 devs who I really looked up to and respected at my company peaced out within the last 2 months. So I began seriously chasing offers while the market was hot. The new bigwigs that were brought in at the company knew I was one of the biggest flight risks, so they threw more money at me without me asking for it.
I just got an offer from a company that I really like that matched the salary that I was bumped to - to them it exceeds my expectations because they did not know about this preemptive bump.
Best part is, I applied to this company on my own, the old fashioned way. No recruiter as my hype person or negotiator. I made a good impression on them myself.
No, wait, the real best part - they offered me a senior level role after seeing my code in a day-long working interview (virtual of course). I mean I had to do some shit with RabbitMQ, which I had heard about and seen in passing, but never worked with before, which to my own surprise, I got working in a matter of a few hours. Blows my mind that someone outside of my old company actually thinks I'm good.
No, wait, the REAL real best part: I've spent the last 4 years - a large majority of my professional career - at my current company. I experienced a lot of growth, but they shoehorned me into a development manager role, which bummed me out as i found myself getting farther and farther away from the code. I'm so excited to get a fresh start and go back to spotify + code for 10 hours a day.1
I read somewhere at the start of the global pandemic: when it comes to work from home life, you should never underestimate the benefits of a power nap.
My gods, that person was right! I only wish I had taken advantage of it more over the last year.1
so I have a junior who merged in a fix for an issue yesterday, and it was tested today and there was an issue with his "fix".
so he comes to me and says "hey this is an issue" and i'm like "yeah, remember i told you about that yesterday when i tested your changes? why did it get merged?"
so i tell him "its because of <reason> and that's why i specified the approach that i did in the ticket originally"
so he's like "ok i'll try that" and before doing that i leave him with "you will probably want to do <thing> because of <reason> with that approach"
so fast forward to like 10 mins ago. literally half the fucking day has gone by.
"hey, so i can't get this to work"
"yeah its because <reason> but what you /can/ do is <same fucking thing i told him to do this morning>"
"oh ok, ill give that a shot :thumbsup: "
and yet he's had this chip on his shoulder since reviews because he feels like he should have gotten a bigger raise and he's worth more than he's paid. and wonders why after 3 years he still hasn't been promoted from a junior.
and don't fucking say 'that's above my pay grade' all the time like you aren't fairly compensated, and then struggle to employ the same fucking patterns in a code base you've worked with for 3 years now.4
unfortunately we have a new CTO and handful of senior level resources joining our company this week, and I've risen to too lofty a position to be able to take the day off.
but they are sorely mistaken if they expect me not to fuck off to at least some degree. I also managed to obtain a PS5 last week so my attention this week never stood a chance. the most they'll get is a couple hours worth of on-boarding meetings outta me.1
today, thanks to everyone else being tied up in meetings and forgetting to invite me to those meetings, i actually had a pretty zen day of refactoring and reviving old unit tests that no one ever seemed to know why they didn't work and so they were just skipped over.3
really fucking hate those PM types who will hear a smart sounding term or buzzword used by a developer, and then proceed to overuse it (mostly incorrectly) in every fucking conversation as if it's le mot du jour.
or better yet, when the fucking parrot proceeds to drive a meeting with PO's by regurgitating verbatim your explanation you gave to him 2 hours before as if he knows that the fuck he's talking about. oh but when someone asks a question for clarification - "hey dev, you wanna take this one?"
hey PM, you wanna lick my balls?5
Just went through EOY reviews. I found out in my own review that someone made the questionable decision to give me a raise and a promotion I'm not sure if I deserve... however why I'm really stoked is because its the first time I've gotten to promote one of my juniors! Now *that* is a really rewarding feeling because the dude certainly went balls deep and earned it, and I have the power to validate that.4
It will be all too soon if I never have anything to do with programming an app to do PDF generation/manipulation ever again.8
hand-wrote me some gnarly-ass SQL today to resolve a prod "emergency". I was kinda proud that I did so and only had to google syntax once. Then my pride turned to shame when I realized what a spoiled little bitch LINQ has made of me.1
Just moved this weekend into the first home I've ever actually owned. Bought a scotch older than myself to mark the occasion, but I want to save it to share with my brother sometime during Yule (that's an agonizing abstinence for me). But at least someone gifted me with a Macallan 12 yr for housewarming that has been hitting the spot quite nicely.
Got my PC set up already to unfortunately go back to work tomorrow. Speaking of which, is it like "Recruiting Season" or something? I have been hit up like crazy about other opportunities, at a time when my company that i've been with almost 4 years seems to be floundering to get its shit together.
I guess I haven't paid much attention in the past to whether I get hit up with "opportunities" more at the end of the year or not. But its something I'm seriously considering right now. 2020 was mostly stagnant for me, and ending the year with moving is a high note. Would not mind continuing this trend of change whilst I still have to wait for the world to be able to resume "normalcy" a while longer.2
statics: just because you can, doesn't necessarily mean you should. now I get to spend my day cursing the guy who hired me 4 years ago, and who was fired 2 years ago, for his turrible design choices.1
fucking "premium subscription" is just a reboot of the "bundling" bullshit from the cable companies.
no i dont really wanna pay 4 bucks to rent a shitty halloween flick for 48 hours that i randomly got nostalgia for, nor do i want to pay an additional 8 bucks a month for your streaming service that i hardly use to begin with to include Starz or whatever.
oh a free 7 day trial will get me access you say? oh but of course you need my credit card first just to verify that im real and then conveniently charge me when i forgot i signed up and keep my money after i cancel.
too lazy to torrent. movie wasnt that great either, so not really worth the effort.7
i fucking hate netsuite. it's bad enough that our fucking help desk tickets are routed through there now instead of jira, but now all our new software projects MUST integrate with it as well. all the fucking permissions between all the goddamn roles in all the systems is strangling me and preventing me from fucking investigating or fixing anything.
i can't explain why, but hearing the term 'zeroth' in english really fucks with my head.
like, yeah, i'm quite used to 0-based indexing in my line of work obviously. but stuffs == "the first element of stuffs" and that's what I would say when communicating verbally to the person looking at the code with me.
but like, take a use case where you are actually referring to something that precedes the first in a series, such as the number of updates on an original thing. then zeroth is indeed an accurate description, but still just rings such discord in my ear upon hearing it.
kinda like they say about 'moist' describing anything but a cake.9
have a couple friends now who have gotten dev jobs at microsoft. I've since turned down their offers to apply and have them vouch for me twice now - not sure if their recommendations would mean anything to begin with at such a place.
this has gotten me a lot of criticism from peers and mentors who have chided me for "throwing away a golden ticket" on my resume.
at first I declined because I sure as fuck did not believe I had the skills to last very long there - and truth is I probably still don't.
but now I see it as a case of the cliche "corporate devil" that everything I believe in in terms of software freedom is squarely against.
I mean, I don't really think I have the chops to make it far with the open source and free software communities either, but if I had to pick a dream or a goal to move towards, that would be it. I don't want money or reputation. I just want to be free to tinker with the world as I please.
maybe I'll have the courage next hacktober... but until then, I'm just gonna focus on learning and self-improvement. no one can ridicule me for being a dumbass if I'm actually putting in the effort to learn and improve, right?
would welcome any advice for aspiring open source contributors, as I'm not really sure where to begin that wouldn't make me look like a total hack (pun not intended)5
I really resent people who reduce the occupation to tickets. Our world is just tickets, tickets all the way down.
"well the ticket just says this, but that's vague, so what should I do?"
You either ask for clarification, or you get creative with the blank canvas you were handed.
"well that edge case wasn't called out in the ticket's specs"
this is _why_ we do TDD - to design our code to be able to function as expected for ALL cases
"is there a ticket to refactor that?"
what?! no, it's your job to always leave code better than when you found it (within scope/reason of course)
FFS we are not hired to be code monkeys or glorified typists. There should be joy that comes from getting to be more clever than the average bear and to solve problems and improve things with your code and logic.
shit bums me out.8
I kinda wish that Ubuntu Satanic Edition had been more of a thing, and not just like a novelty metal-themed wrapper on Ubuntu with a bunch of metal tracks that fell by the wayside.
Aside from the hellish theming, it should have like all the best open source software to enable all the most perverse and questionable indulgences that any tech person would fantasize about. Obviously with a high priority on anonymity. Would be perfect for this time of year when one might, i dunno, research all sorts of perverse things for cheap thrills, without having to worry about the search history; among other things perhaps. Maybe a dual-boot scenario, where you can boot into it to host your zoom sex orgies?
Yes, I'm aware that any user can completely customize their desktop to their liking with existing theming and software/packages even to create something such as this, but to be complete, it *really* needs that cult following to go with the flavor. Granted, a large community generally goes against the tenants of Laveyan Satanism, but then again, fantasy in a forum shrouded in obscurity seems right in line with it.3
slack seems to be having issues with connectivity currently.
sweet, maybe I can actually get some work done!
or maybe i'll just browse devrant for a few more minutes. who's gonna know?
It really grinds my gears when new hires just start adding themselves to every fucking slack channel and then start crapping up the channel history with irrelevant chatter.
Business Analysts and Project Managers do not need to be in #developers sending mock-ups to a UI/UX designer for one team, or posting an xkcd strip you found on the internet because you "got it" and you think you are proving that you are one of us by posting it there. This channel isn't a fucking club, its where ALL developers at this company across all teams share tools and practices for us to maintain consistency and best practices and to improve our craft, or to give a heads-up about vulnerabilities.
There is a specific channel for your role, and your project. You don't need to be everywhere and in every conversation. And for fuck's sake, PLEASE stop @someone adding people to these channels just because you think you saw something in there posted by someone else that they should see. You can just fucking share that message directly with that person, or in another channel.9
Worked some OT this weekend to get a project over the finish line. Got all my tests passing once again. Ready for a PR, but I had a few questions about some missing members I was expecting to initialize on my results.
"Oh you you just need to update the PublishedLanguage package."
"Yeah. I'm on the latest version: <package.service.name * 0.1.7-alpha.4>"
"Oh, that one is rubbish and should have been removed last week. you want <package.service.stupidfuckingdifferentname * 0.3.0-alpha.9>"
godfuckingdammit. of course, every class is completely different now. i literally get to re-do my sunday. on a fucking monday.
I have a new boss who was hired today. Well, I guess he's supposed to be a 2nd in command to my current supervisor, but I still have to report to him too I guess.
This dude is a high-sodium seasoned dev, and the kind who thinks anyone who's been in the industry less than 15 years should be at best a test engineer or thrown into the 7th ring of Customer Support.
Ugh. I'm now out of gin, which was my backup to my scotch. And this prick expects me to have a PR ready for him to review on a whole new application I've been working on for the last 2 weeks by midday tomorrow. And today was his first day.5
I got into development only a short time ago.
My mother paired up with a partner who was a dev making some serious cheddar when I was just barely not a teenager anymore, while I was working shitty low-wage customer service gigs.
Honestly, the only reason either of them could give me for doing it was the money.
A couple years went by, I was extremely fortunate: found a job within 6 weeks of finishing a year-long program at the local technical college which only yielded me a basic cert. By that time, my mother's partner had long lost their job, and I had paid their rent (twice my own) on two separate occasions. I went from usually having about a hundred dollars after bills to last me until next paycheck to five times that.
A couple more years go by, I'm doing pretty well supporting my own family now (my wife and child, not anyone else) and somehow doing way better now than the people who spurred me ever did. I no longer have a reason to compulsively check my bank account out of worry that I'm overdrawn.
Now I'm locked in an endless battle in my mind to find a correction for every flaw in my life, or at the very least a workaround. I go to bed and wake up thinking about the same things: my work. Buuuutttt.... My family has everything they could ever need and more.
So I guess I could say the support I got from my family was:
* an initial nudge in the "right" direction
* a reality check on what the industry can be like
* a sentence to eternal damnation by changing my paradigm on everything
god, I fucking hate Users. especially the ones who think that I am confused by *their* terminology for system processes, and feel the need to correct and clarify for me on email chains that needlessly cc 20 other people.
I designed the system you use every day before you were even hired; I assure you, I am not confused, and I know exactly what I'm talking about. stupid twats.3