Team Meeting with Senior senior manager(SSM) from headquarters.
Post lunch break (casual talks)
SSM: You all people in this office live in luxury. Each and every door has a security guard to open and close the door for all of you. HQ doesn't have these.
Me: So, does it mean that there are no doors or no security guards at the HQ?
Everyone in my team with a very big facepalm. Manager telling me not to get high after having the lunch.

Footnote: All my colleagues and my manager often tells me that I get high just by eating food.

I'm just fed up with the industry. There are so much stupidity and so much arrogance.
My professional experience comes mainly from the frontend and I feel like it's not as bad on the backend but I'm still convinced it's not really different:

I'm now about to start my 3rd job. It's always the same. The frontend codebase is complete shit. It's not because some juniors messed up not at all. It's always some highly paid self-proclaimed full-stack developer that didn't really care somehow hacked together most of the codebase.
That person got a rediculous salary considering the actual skill and effort that went into the code, at some point things became difficult, issues started to occur and that person left. If I search for that person I find next to the worst code via gitlens on Linkedin it's somebody that has changed companies at least two times after leaving and works now for a lot of money as tech-lead at some company.

There's never any tests. At the same time the company takes pride in having decent test coverage on the backend. In the end this only results in pushing a lot of business logic to the frontend because it would just take way to long to implement it on the backend.

Most of the time I'm getting told on my first day that the code quality is really high or some bullshit.

It's always a redux app written by people, that just connect everything to the store and never tried to reflect about their use of redux.
Usually it's people, that never even considered or tried not using redux, even if it's just to learn and experiment.

At the same time you could have the most awesome projects on github but people look at your CV, sum up the years and if you invested a lot of time, worked way harder to be better than other developers with the same amount of experience, it's totally irrelevant.
At the same time all companies are just the worst crybabies about not being able to find enough developers.

HR and recruiters are generally happy to invite somebody for an interview, even if that person does not have any code available to the public, as long as that person somehow was in some way employed in the industry for a couple of years. At the same time they wouldn't even notice if you're core contributor for some major open-source product if you do not have the necessary number of years in the industry.

I'm just fed up.
By the way, I got my first real job about two years ago. Now I'm about to start my third position because my last job died because of the corona crisis. I didn't complain for some time because I didn't want to look like I'm just complaining about my own situation. With every new job I made more money, now I'm starting for the first time at a position that is labeled "lead" in the contract.
So I did okay. But I know that lots of talented people that worked hard gave up at some point and even those that made it had to deal with way too much rejection.
At the same time there are so many "senior" people in the industry, that don't care, don't even try to get better, that get a lot of money for nothing.

It's ridiculously hard to get a food in the door if you don't have any experience.
But that's not because juniors are actually useless. It's because the code written by many seniors is so low quality, that you need multiple years of experience just to deal with all the traps.
Furthermore those seniors are so busy trying to put out the fires they are responsible for to actually put time into mentoring juniors.

It's just so fucked up.

well had a low-grade fever all over my body for like 4 days
finally crashed yesterday it seems and actually got tired. got the sickness brain malaise

sucks

I've been sick 3 times in the last 4 months. this might actually be optimistic. I started seriously trending up with my brain improving after the new year. damned VAIDS

when I was 17 the high school I went to asked for a release form from my mom to give me vaccines. I didn't know anything about them so I got her to fill it out. the nurse asked me which ones I already had and I said I don't know. I guess you can give me all of them. because I didn't know anything about what vaccines were

so I got about 15 vaccine shots in one day. I didn't even get sick the day after or anything. went about my life as normal

but now thinking back in retrospect, suddenly I had developed attention issues / ADHD. I was extremely smart so it didn't do anything to my schoolwork, but it annoyed me especially socially-speaking because I would get bored easily and have trouble paying attention to stuff. still being smart you can guess what you missed easily enough. it just made me feel weird and isolated and that was that

around 19 I started having like, a constant cold/flu. it was driving me nuts. this kept going until I was 21. I was complaining about it to my mom and she didn't know what to do. I went to doctors but they were useless. one guy gave me penicillin which was useless. I figured I was just unlucky, not that doctors are taught wrong on purpose (back then I hadn't yet done my health science degree, I had dropped out of it because of the realization that it was a waste of money since the teachers actually didn't teach you anything. it was sad. so I switched to comp sci because I already knew a lot about computers, thinking it was the school and not the health field -- the comp sci degree actually taught a lot though)

eventually my mom had talked to somebody I guess in the old country, and they suggested I get echinecea. I found a place to buy it and started taking it. my symptoms went away and I was so scared they'd come back I took that pill for 3 months. I only stopped because turns out it made me allergic to my favourite rayon shirt -- like if I touched it I got creepy crawly feels on my skin lmao

... and then I never got a cold or flu again actually, not until COVID at 28 I guess (wow I really have missing gaps in my memory, because it doesn't feel that long ago). I never pieced this together before but I've been analyzing it now. I did get fevers if I was stressed -- like over exercising, or the time I got my wisdom teeth taken out, but I never officially had a cold or flu.

I got the COVID vaccine in late 2021. now it's early 2025. that thing fucked up my life. it's been 4 years. how has it been 4 years? I actually can't remember one of those years at all...

this timeline is pretty similar to the vaccines I got as a kid. my brain started improving this year. it makes me so sad. I used to be 145 IQ. then I couldn't even remember a grocery list of 3 items at the store. I would talk out loud because I couldn't think inside my own head... it was really bad. I'd have lapses in time, turn yellow, my toes are STILL purple. I can't eat most food and even the food I can eat can be sus on me. every moment of existence is a gamble on my health. I can't eat any sugar and I don't know why, I can't eat any flour and no it's not gluten or glyphosate. i cant even eat fruit. I can't even eat canned corn lol. I can't eat anything pre-packaged at the store maybe because they use seed oils. I just live off butter and meat -- and sometimes the meat can be too fatty for me. I can't drink teas I used to drink a lot of. hell I even react badly to like certain ginger spices but not others. like Jesus what the fuck. and every time if I eat the wrong thing minimum 5 hours or at worst 3 days it knocks me out. the amount of rage I have at my life being totalled by this thing cannot be understated.

but I started being able to think about January. I've been exponentially regaining myself since. but I've also gotten bouts of like the worst flus I've ever had, and I had pneumonia as a kid!

I wonder if it's just my immune system coming back. just like what happened at 19-21

I'm too scared to take echinecea. I can't eat onion or garlic because they're immune modulating, and I guess it like asks too much of my body so it knocks me out. I tried an echinecea pill before after this sickness and while I don't remember exactly what happened because of all the brain issues probably, I do remember it was bad. there's a lot of herbs and supplements I can't touch if they are supposed to strengthen your immune system

but maybe now I'm getting sick so much because my body is ready and strong enough