If I had a dime for every single time a developer has been asked to fix a printer I’d have enough to afford the 3D version.

Chrome, Firefox, and yes even you Opera, Falkon, Midori and Luakit. We need to talk, and all readers should grab a seat and prepare for some reality checks when their favorite web browsers are in this list.

I've tried literally all of them, in search for a lightweight (read: not ridiculously bloated) web browser. None of them fit the bill.

Yes Midori, you get a couple of bonus points for being the most lightweight. Luakit however.. as much as I like vim in my terminal, I do not want it in a graphical application. Not to mention that just like all the others you just use webkit2gtk, and therefore are just as bloated as all the others. Lightweight my ass! But programmable with Lua, woo! Not like Selenium, Chrome headless, ... does that for any browser. And that's it for the unique features as far as I'm concerned. One is slow, single-threaded and lightweight-ish (Midori) and another has vim keybindings in an application that shouldn't (Luakit).

Pretty much all of them use webkit2gtk as their engine, and pretty much all of them launch a separate process for each tab. People say this is more secure, but I have serious doubts about that. You're still running all these processes as the same user, and they all have full access to the X server they run under (this is also a criticism against user separation on a single X session in general). The only thing it protects against is a website crashing the browser, where only that tab and its process would go down. Which.. you know.. should a webpage even be able to do that?

But what annoys me the most is the sheer amount of memory that all of these take. With all due respect all of you browsers, I am not quite prepared to give 8 fucking gigabytes - half the memory in this whole box! - just for a dozen or so tabs. I shouldn't have to move my web browser to another lesser used 16GB box, just to prevent this one from going into fucking swap from a dozen tabs. And before someone has a go at the add-ons, there's 4 installed and that's it. None of them are even close to this complete and utter memory clusterfuck. It's the process separation. Each process consumes half a GB of memory, and there's around a dozen of them in a usual browsing session. THAT is the real problem. And I want to get rid of it.

Browsers are at their pinnacle of fucked up in my opinion, literally to the point where I'm seriously considering elinks. Being a sysadmin, I already live my daily life in terminals anyway. As such I also do have resources. But because of that I also associate every process with its cost to run it, in terms of resources required. Web browsers are easily at the top of the list.

I want to put 8GB into perspective. You can store nearly 2 entire DVD movies in that memory. However media players used to play them (such as SMPlayer) obviously don't do that. They use 60-80MB on average to play the whole movie. They also require far less processing power than YouTube in a web browser does, even when you download that exact same video with youtube-dl (either streamed within the media player or externally). That is what an application should be.

Let's talk a bit about these "complicated" websites as well. I hate to break it to you framework web devs, but you're a dime a dozen. The competition is high between web devs for that exact reason. And websites are not complicated. The document itself is plain old HTML, yes even if your framework converts to it in the background. That's the skeleton of your document, where I would draw a parallel with documents in office suites that are more or less written in XML. CSS.. oh yes, markup. Embolden that shit, yes please! And JavaScript.. oh yes, that pile of shit that's been designed in half a day, and has a framework called fucking isEven (which does exactly what it says on the tin, modulo 2 be damned). Fancy some macros in your text editor? Yes, same shit, different pile.

Imagine your text editor being as bloated as a web browser. Imagine it being prone to crashing tabs like a web browser. Imagine it being so ridiculously slow to get anything done in your productivity suite. But it's just the usual with web browsers, isn't it? Maybe Gopher wasn't such a bad idea after all... Oh and give me another update where I have to restart the browser when I commit the heinous act of opening another tab, just because you had to update your fucking CA certs again. Yes please!

I inherited a nextjs project from an unknown guy and am fangirling the codebase

But the deeper I familiarise myself with it, the more the cracks begin to appear:

1) The dude Is incapable of grasping the basics of DRY concept. He actually setup a ton of stuff I may have done poorly if I'd started working straight out of the docs, so I feel like I owe him a shower of praise. I guess being new to nextjs makes it look more impressive than it actually is. He was paid off, yet getting the credit seems unearned to me. I'm just afraid reaching out to him might turn around to bite me in the ass
***

I had the above in my drafts, contemplating sending him a token to show some appreciation for unknowingly showing me the ropes. I was going to find him on LinkedIn using his commit names. But after doing everything I've done, undergoing the anxiety and severe pressure I faced at the hands of the project owners, I'm not sharing a farthing with anybody

Yes, I may not have known about zustand and persist middleware. Yes, he did all the ui. Yes, he created the base components and fancy wrappers around form and button html elements. For those, I'm grateful

But the amount of refactoring I had to do to, for an opportunity to implement my own target features, I'd say I can lay as much claim to the project as he does.

Side note #1: I have some newfound respect for front end devs. We used to discriminate against them for doing just css but that was only relevant in the jquery days. Now, they have to use cryptic css frameworks (sass, less, tailwind), they have to learn esoteric syntax of some js framework and write controllers/components as the case may be. They have to (the worst part), bind this data to an API, which would never make sense to me coming from a php ssr-natural world

Back rewarding the guy, some of the challenges I came back from were:

1) Next server outages: I still don't know the workaround this. The app terminates, browser giving an error about using up memory. I have to wait for about 10 minutes before I can access the app again

2) spring Webflux authentication not hydrating: I was unexpectedly asked to work on the back end too, where I got tortured with this horrifying condition. The most poorly documented framework for the Web has no upto date guide on how to implement jwt security measures. I opened a question on stackoverflow. A day later, both my question and the helpful answer got downvoted

3) Zustand not retrieving any data from localstorage once page reloads, until I miraculously stumbled on a hack: there's a config callback for reading state after rehydration or thereabout. So I interact with the state there. That's the only way content clearly in localstorage can get transmuted into dynamic format accessible by the code

4) Mongo database suddenly disconnecting: for no apparent reason, this bailed. Accessible on compass. This was even when I realised it was responsible for front end requests not going through. Eventually created a new database and requests surprisingly began connecting again. Thankfully, my laravel background taught me about seeders so I had them on standby from the onset. Wasn't difficult to just port to a fresh database after confirming the first one was inaccessible to the app

After this painful odyssey and the time constraints, threats of moving forward with someone else, I deserve every dime they deem me worthy of and more

If I had a dime for every time I write 'git vommit' instead of 'git commit'.....

How is it, that features goes thru the entire mill of dev, staging, preview.
Then when deployed to production, things blow up..
Turns out, columns are nullable only in production DB and of course, those happen to be null in there.

If I had a dime for every time I’ve seen shit like this…

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

My colleagues excel at envisaging shit extracurricular activities. It may not be so godawful irritating if they weren't hypocritical scum, all of them but ESPECIALLY, the girls. When you're sick, nobody checks on you. When you text them, they don't reply. They only initiate conversations to get something. They are never friendly except they need a favor and have run out of options. You can't borrow more than one 1k naira from any during an emergency. Then they force you against your will to oblige them

Last year, they came up with this crappy cook fest assigning dishes each staff is to cook and present like some science expo project. I declined but participation was enforced. Things went sour with the caterer I recruited. Work that day was a living hell for me, I eventually had to leave

Next, they devised an end of year dinner, instead of converting all that money to a much needed 13th month salary or even bonuses. Thankfully, attendance was not compulsory so I and one other girl could exempt. Why would I buy/borrow dress code costumes at such short notice, to assemble with a bunch of people who think I'm crap?

This year again, they roped me into this dumb "love feast" program for valentine. I was livid and incensed. I stormed the inbox of one of the male instigators and gave him a piece of my mind. This scoundrel literally shakes my hand irl like it's covered in poop. Nowadays, he waltzes into my office without the courtesy to greet me. I'm so inconsequential and insignificant. He ordered me to delete the messages, implying he might leak them like the ex hr once did. Of course, I refused

The girl they paired me to buy gifts for doesn't reply my chats. I literally sent some that morning but she had the audacity to walk up to me and tell me what she wants me to buy her. It's our bosses fancy mug and my next seat buddy immediately tells me how crazy expensive it is

They've all got read notifications turned off. It's not even creepy messages or require deep thinking or lengthy replies. It's just not being regarded worthy to be communicated with. These are the people I'm going to spend a dime on. They don't even TRY to pretend I'm a human being. Literally don't talk to me but everyone else plays with each other. Personally, I'm not a gift person. I NEVER buy myself anything unless it's an absolute necessity. So why would I rack my brain, go out of my way to get you some shit you aren't even going to appreciate? It's a waste of money and intentions. They claim it helps with team bonding. I'm sore and bitter cuz that is a lie. Those interested in each other go home together, outings, sleep together, reply each other's messages. They don't need some formal carnival to do any of that

Messages are the most basic things. It's utterly insulting cause everyone always has their devices holstered. They respond to the boss instantly when tagged on the group. Any act of not communicating directly, is both deliberate and a passive declaration of war. So why drag me into your annoying shows? Do your clique thing however you want. Leave me the hell out of it

*Wakes up*
*Message from aunt*
Aunt: Hey sweety I can't find this movie anywhere on the internet plz use ur cyber superpowers and help me thx
Aunt: *Link to the movie's trailer on Youtube*
*Clicks link*
*Scrolls down*
Youtube comment: *Link to the movie*
*Copies and pastes to aunt*
Aunt: omg thxxx <3
*Goes back to sleep*

Because why even try when you can ask your nephew to do it for you?

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