When people tell me their problems I immediately start coming up with solutions when really they just want sympathy.

Using "%" as modulus operator rather than using it for percentages.

2 years ago: Connection goes down at the office

Boss: -"Damnit, you are responsible to ensure uptime. Fix a redundant connection asap."

Me: Fixes redundant connection

Today: Connection goes down at the office, failover connection does not work.

Me: Calls ISP and asks what's happened.

ISP: -"Your boss cancelled the account 3 months ago"

...

Open notepad and type:

.LOG

then save as a text file.

That's the spirit

Did you know:

If you put illuminati backwards in a URL bar, followed by .com, it will take you to NSA.gov?

Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."

Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"

Linux : Born to Be Root
Windows : Born to Re Boot

This is CSS in Arabic

Hoorah! My code finally works! Now gotta remove those 1000 print statements I used to identify the bugs 😥