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"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*
me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week8 -
Knock.
Knock.
Knock knock.
Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
Fibonacci.5 -
1 minute of Thread.sleep() for Tum, the best cat ever. Rest in peace, your memory will live on in my devrant avatar.
19 -
Was originally hired for 3 months.
Just finished the project 2 weeks ago, after 1.5 years.
I fucking hate data science now.8 -
Dear people of Subway, just because i am using cmd, it doesnt mean i am
"Hacking your wifi network" and asking me to stop is rather unneccessary25 -
My linkedin: "please dont contact me about javascript work"
Every recruiter on linkedin: "hold my beer"7 -
Me: you should not open that log file in excel its almost 700mb
Client: its okay, my computer has 4gb ram
Me: *looking at clients computer crashing*
Client: the file is broken!
Me: no, you just need to use a more memory efficient tool, like R, SAS, python, C#, or like anything else!5 -
Just got an email that i dodnt get a job.
But guys... Your 'selection process' took a month. A literal month. I already got an other job 2 weeks ago.4 -
*finally upgrades my personal website from a plain html link collection*
*sends it to dev friends' telegram group*
*receives negative reviews for the color palette*
I... I tend to forget that im colorblind5 -
Oh no microsoft is gonna buy github!
Just like they bought xamarin and turned it from a buggy piece of shit into something borderline useful?
Just like they funded canonical so ubuntu could become a distro what any person can use as easily as windows because they had money to actually hire people?
Just like they bought mojang and invested billions in an education platform?
Oh boy whatever will we do...16 -
me, sitting @ college, soldering together a charging cable
someone: oh wow you can do this stuff? i thought you were a computer scientist, not an engineer
me:...
me: yeah i need an engineering degree to wrap duct tape around cables7 -
I use my mouse on 4k dpi and today someone asked me how do i move the cursor without moving the mouse5
-
"Java is slow"
If that is the only reason you can come up with when i ask you why dou you think java is bad, im going to assume youre either a fucking shit programmer or live in the 90s.47 -
>me on stackoverflow
>a nice question
>i provide a 3 line code with explanation
>comment: 'doesnt work, throws exception'
>i run the code and provide a screenshot that it works
>'doesnt work for me'
>19 line code gets accepted
10/10, would answer again5 -
In a nutshell, i severely underestimated myself, applied to a bunch of places and now they all want to hire me. Oh well.12
-
Finally i had an idea for a personal project.
I sat down, started sketching up the classes i'd use.
3 hours later, im finished.
Now i have no personal prjects running and im bored again.11 -
Me: cool, i organized all my exams to be the most effective, if i study now, i can relax for a few weeks before i have to move.
Interesting side project: hi3 -
New years eve plans:
Partying with friends ✖
Getting wasted ✖
Shooting fireworks ✖
Reading godot documentation ✔7 -
I just found out that there is a method in Java/Android called "Log.wtf()" which stands for...
... What a Terrible Failure!
Don't believe me? See for yourselves! (way to go, guys!)
9 -
!rant
The change log from notepad++ update. The last paragraph is the cream!
" The issue of a hijacked DLL concerns scilexer.dll (needed by Notepad++) on a compromised PC, which is replaced by a modified scilexer.dll built by the CIA. When Notepad++ is launched, the modified scilexer.dll is loaded instead of the original one.
It doesn't mean that CIA is interested in your coding skill or in your sex message content typed in Notepad++, but rather it prevents raising any red flags while the DLL does data collection in the background.
It's not a vulnerability/security issue in Notepad++, but for remedying this issue, from this release (v7.3.3) forward, notepad++.exe checks the certificate validation in scilexer.dll before loading it. If the certificate is missing or invalid, then it just won't be loaded, and Notepad++ will fail to launch.
Checking the certificate of DLL makes it harder to hack. Note that once users’ PCs are compromised, the hackers can do anything on the PCs. This solution only prevents from Notepad++ loading a CIA homemade DLL. It doesn't prevent your original notepad++.exe from being replaced by modified notepad++.exe while the CIA is controlling your PC.
Just like knowing the lock is useless for people who are willing to go into my house, I still shut the door and lock it every morning when I leave home. We are in a f**king corrupted world, unfortunately. "1 -
open telegram
'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'
"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"
we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project5 -
Someone wasn't in a very good mood that day :p
Log data from when the WhatsApp for windows desktop failed to install~ 2/2
5 -
when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense
14 -
Please learn the fucking difference between a text editor and an IDE. I dont give a shit aboyt your super duper complex vim package manager supreme deluxe edition ITS STILL A DAMN TEXT EDITOR YOU FUCK.16
-
Hilariously cool error.
I mean, not everyday your editor tells you to meditate or sing you a bob Dylan’s song, right?
That’s a nice touch atom.
2 -
Me visiting home for easter:
Me: tries to find some good assets for adventurejam
Me: fixes a bug on the prodserver
Me: redesigns a gui of an app
Me: applies for a bunch of new jobs
Mom: "you are always computer-ing, do something productive"3 -
So there is this thing @ the office that everyone has to bake 50 pancakes once.
Its 2 am, i just got done, i cant cook to save my life.
Guess what.
Its 49.8 -
Oh hey i should go to sleep early and work out in the morning.
Or i could implement those new features for my library ive been thinking about.
Or i could polish up some of my older sites.
....or i could stay up till 3am, reading subtly gay korean comics.4 -
When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work
2 -
can you put this on the right side when someone scrolls?
*sends a gif of a caterpillar running at 3 fps with sparkles everywhere*5 -
Looking around the directory, i noticed these log files.
He sure have a rough time testing it.
Apologies if my work station is running on Windows.
8 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
My friend introduced me to rick&morty.
My weekend mostly consisted of me getting schwifty®.
Instead of getting work done.4 -
if you ever feel bad or useless about your ability as a programmer, just remember that this is the kinda code i write when im tired
13 -
Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."
Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"6 -
you might think that windows updates are painful but this piece of shit has been like this for an hour JUST LET ME FUCKING DEPLOY
14 -
Lets assume my name is Levi Secondname (half of it is correct)
at my last workplace there was a guy with the same name, in the same office, except he was an ios dev, so when i ordered food i always put 'Android Levi' as the name, otherwise it would get mixed up3 -
I have reached the point where my main project with my arduino collection is building a sex robot and i dont even feel the least bit ashamed about it.10
-
full stack web development in 2017: mvvm model, api for backend, parsing on frontend
me: <?php echo "<div>hello".$name."</div>" ?>9 -
Dude from old job who treated me like shit messaged me to implement 2 new features. I quit like half a year ago now. Ok i guess.6
-
Javascript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to.5 -
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard7 -
Seeing this new icon makes me want to go back to 2008 with the shopping bag icon. Those were better days.
11 -
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ??? -
Me, whenever i work with something other than java: "Wow, this could be done so much easier with java"17
-
"Server deployment is automated from git, so dont merge things into the master branch without permission"
Oh ok
>i create new branch
>push unfinished code because i gotta hurry
>server breaks
Well golly gee seems like you did a shit job at automating7 -
We were having a conversation with a bunch of friends and somehow i came up with this
Ps, the data is valid
12 -
GIT LOG VERSION 101
----------------
75fed18 pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
56772ff added security.
6374fdd needs more cow bell
6b27de9 Committing fixes in the dark, seriously, who killed my power!?
bffce8a giggle.
7e93977 Refactored configuration.
e66c495 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 11
5690dd9 Revert "just testing, remember to revert"
daa84ba Still can't get this right...
097f164 this should fix it
367f271 GIT :/
f46d735 bump to 0.0.3-dev:wq
b893721 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
24be0d9 ...
f014a0c ALL SORTS OF THINGS
e648b80 added super-widget 2.0.
3a71628 perfect...
e2a8cb1 Fucking templates.
b08e489 pgsql is more strict, increase the hackiness up to 113 -
Ilove wordpress, its small, fast and easily configurable and very enjoyable to work with and maintain.
I also like pineapple on my pizza, stubbing my toe and getting ran over by a truck.11 -
Its been a few hours, and i was busy with meetings but
THANK Y'ALL FOR 10K ++
I remember wk20something, when i joined devrant. I was just starting a job as a data analyst, and the wk at that time spoke to me on a personal level, so i wrote a quick rant and didnt give it much thought. The next day i opened devrant and had like 100++s and a bunch of comments. Since then ive met a lot of awesome people here and im happy i clicked the install button back then. Thanks cfox and brogus for the opportunity, love ya.
Already got a longboard as a 10k-day gift :^)2 -
I was talking with a guy who is making an android app for his thesis but hes "shitdamn awful in java". I offered to help because im so fucking nice.
"oh but i dont have facebook, is it a problem?"
Nah sure i dont use facebook anyways, got telegram?
"No"
Riot? Irc?
"Nope"
Then what do you use???
"Skype"
?!!?!??!??!!???!??!7 -
A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says "okay but only if you tell me a meta joke". So the man says a man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer. The bartender gives him a beer.2
-
Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...
8 -
I have already posted a function for this week, but I thought to this for Android developers:
Log.wtf()
It's hilarious.1 -
Craziest and most mind blowing CS project, I've seen so far. What's yours?
https://github.com/mame/quine-relay1 -
So there is this programming competition i regularly enter. I dont give a shit about the competition part, its just fun to make something in a limited time. This year, i was kinda hyped that i threw together a modern stack, with Java Spark and VueJS, that would be really cool to use.
Today we got the requirements.
Php and jquery.
Well fuck me for living in 2017 apparently.1 -
OMFG I don't even know where to start..
Probably should start with last week (as this is the first time I had to deal with this problem directly)..
Also please note that all packages, procedure/function names, tables etc have fictional names, so every similarity between this story and reality is just a coincidence!!
Here it goes..
Lat week we implemented a new feature for the customer on production, everything was working fine.. After a day or two, the customer notices the audit logs are not complete aka missing user_id or have the wrong user_id inserted.
Hm.. ok.. I check logs (disk + database).. WTF, parameters are being sent in as they should, meaning they are there, so no idea what is with the missing ids.
OK, logs look fine, but I notice user_id have some weird values (I already memorized most frequent users and their ids). So I go check what is happening in the code, as the procedures/functions are called ok.
Wow, boy was I surprised.. many many times..
In the code, we actually check for user in this apps db or in case of using SSO (which we were) in the main db schema..
The user gets returned & logged ok, but that is it. Used only for authentication. When sending stuff to the db to log, old user Id is used, meaning that ofc userid was missing or wrong.
Anyhow, I fix that crap, take care of some other audit logs, so that proper user id was sent in. Test locally, cool. Works. Update customer's test servers. Works. Cool..
I still notice something off.. even though I fixed the audit_dbtable_2, audit_dbtable_1 still doesn't show proper user ids.. This was last week. I left it as is, as I had more urgent tasks waiting for me..
Anyhow, now it came the time for this fuckup to be fixed. Ok, I think to myself I can do this with a bit more hacking, but it leaves the original database and all other apps as is, so they won't break.
I crate another pck for api alone copy the calls, add user_id as param and from that on, I call other standard functions like usual, just leave out the user_id I am now explicitly sending with every call.
Ok this might work.
I prepare package, add user_id param to the calls.. great, time to test this code and my knowledge..
I made changes for api to incude the current user id (+ log it in the disk logs + audit_dbtable_1), test it, and check db..
Disk logs fine, debugging fine (user_id has proper value) but audit_dbtable_1 still userid = 0.
WTF?! I go check the code, where I forgot to include user id.. noup, it's all there. OK, I go check the logging, maybe I fucked up some parameters on db level. Nope, user is there in the friggin description ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!!
Just not in the column user_id...
WTF..Ok, cig break to let me think..
I come back and check the original auditing procedure on the db.. It is usually used/called with null as the user id. OK, I have replaced those with actual user ids I sent in the procedures/functions. Recheck every call!! TWICE!! Great.. no fuckups. Let's test it again!
OFC nothing changes, value in the db is still 0. WTF?! HOW!?
So I open the auditing pck, to look the insides of that bloody procedure.. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
Instead of logging the p_user_sth_sth that is sent to that procedure, it just inserts the variable declared in the main package..
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Did the 'new guy' made changes to this because he couldn't figure out what is wrong?! Nope, not him. I asked the CEO if he knows anything.. Noup.. I checked all customers dbs (different customers).. ALL HAD THIS HARDOCED IN!!! FORM THE FREAKING YEAR 2016!!! O.o
Unfuckin believable.. How did this ever work?!
Looks like at the begining, someone tried to implement this, but gave up mid implementation.. Decided it is enough to log current user id into BLABLA variable on some pck..
Which might have been ok 10+ years ago, but not today, not when you use connection pooling.. FFS!!
So yeah, I found easter eggs from years ago.. Almost went crazy when trying to figure out where I fucked this up. It was such a plan, simple, straight-forward solution to auditing..
If only the original procedure was working as it should.. bloddy hell!!8 -
Hey im a fullstack DEVELOPER, not a fullstack DESIGNER, so dont fucking ask a colorblind person to 'just throw a simple design together, it shouldnt take more than 10 minutes'3
-
hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho
IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE6 -
"best [distro/ide/laptop/buttplug] for web development?"
So you are.... You are basically asking whats the best for editing text files?12 -
I really wish i was a good designer. Id love to put together attractive frontends with cool and unique ideas.
I also wish i wasnt colorblind.3 -
Friend: 'im really anxious, i need a job this summer and i dont know if i can find one with my stack'
Me:'why, whats your stack?'
Friend:'php, mysql, javascript'
Me:'...DUDE'6 -
For some reason, when testing if a block of code is firing, I always do console.log('fart'); More often than not I forget to remove it before going to production. I feel good knowing that's out there on dozens of sites right now.8
-
So I have a script that runs every time I turn on my PC. The script copies a few files to a ftp server in my basement. Forgot to turn off logging....
Opend the file in Notepad, and would you look at that, 1 GB of ram..? WTF?
Edit: Managed to open the file, turns out that it's been exactly one year since I started using the script.
3 -
If i wanted to spend weeks analyzing systems instead of writing them, id have gotten my diploma for fucks sake.1
-
Me, 2 months ago: "This stack is such an overhead and unneccesarily complicated. The app could be made in like a week with jsp and jquery."
Other guy, 2 months ago: "No, we use Spring and angular2, and these 7 test/automation tools"
Other guy now: "We are nowhere, we havent even completed sprint1"
Me:
3 -
Xamarin.forms. True multiplatform* by Microsoft.
*you just have to make sure not to use any of the platform specific features, or write 3 completely different codes11 -
Everytime i see someone listing a shitload of languages, i safely assume that they speak around 2-3 of them fluently. I did some c++ and can write a site in php but they are nowhere near my java knowledge, so i only list them as something i played around with. There is just no way you are fluent in c++, java and javascript because they take half a lifetime to master individually7
-
Bind learning c++ chapter 3
Fuck whoever says that java is easier than c++. If i populate memory i can just fucking clean it out. I have access to the literal fucking stack my code runs on. I can integrate assembly. I can fucking make my program run in -3 seconds for fucks sake, this is so much easier than java where i have to fuck around with scopes to nudge the gc to start cleaning up and i need a separate engine to access jasm code.9 -
*reverts a layout file to the one in git*
*gradle fails, no components found, electricity goes off, office catches fire, the world ends*4 -
I just got a bugreport for an ages old release of a software which was assumed finished. Problem is, i couldnt find the source anywhere.
"hey, could you send me the file so i can check the bug?"
*sends jar file*
"yay im saved"
thanks java, for being easily disassembled 👌😍1 -
Sent a cv to a company because facebook threw their ad at my face and i said why not. They emailed me that they would call me today. I dont have a phone. Its not fucking 2007. Call me on matrix or telegram or even skype ffs.19
-
[wk200]
Ordered a set of copic markers, they should be here tomorrow. At least this quarantine crap gives me time to draw again after 5 years.4 -
We are tasked with creating a site for a tv channel with livestream and stuff. Nobody has relevant experience so we have to research what's on other channels' sites. So far the industry standard seems to be broken bootstrap, inconsistent style and 2008 design.
-
This is stupid but i think is my best idea yet.
So i have an old orange pi, with only 256m memory. Its running a few tasks i need but i wanted to use it for controlling a few things from my phone (lights and powering on my pc) so i thought i would make a server for that. Now mind you, my shirt doesnt say "lightweight backend language", so there was no way the pi couldve handled a struts server. I was digging around and found that php has a shell_exec command. Then it clicked, and i wrote the whole system like
shell_exec("java -jar someprocess.jar"). Now this sounds really stupid but it works and php is really light so it doesnt even slow it down that much.
Thinking about making this into some kinda server/framework/something just for fun.4 -
Heads up: if you process a big database and want to do some advanced calculations, do not, i repeat, do not attempt to do so on your pentium home pc.4
-
I was tricky this time and sent a separate email for the client and my boss about the new release.
Client response: "Its very good, runs flawlessly, could you check x if you have the time? It gives errors simetimes"
Boss response: "[...] urgent fix get working on it right now [...]"
Seems like my boss has been the fucking piece of shit all this time :)1 -
Wanted to do a 1 hour coding challenge. Thought "hey why not use js this time". 3 hours later, my blood pressure is skyrocketing and i am really bothered by js threading.2
-
We all keep complaining about some change logs in app stores, but take a step back and look at your commit history :/3
-
Just realized, that after a few months of running my crypto trading algo, i have around 0.1 bitcoin. Started by mining monero in like february, and just traded back and forth afterwards.5
-
Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just
>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"
Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???6 -
Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah
5 -
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
-
I got an interview on monday but i completely forgot i even applied. They said its java AND c#, so i can guarantee a 50% score i guess.
Can someone explain what the fuck is a namespace while we r at it?5 -
[worst hypothetical dev job]
You know how theres a dedicated person in porn whos job is blowing the actors so they are hard? That, but with writing all the boilerplate code and nothing else.1 -
just got a linkedin msg
"Hello, im from a headhunter company, looking for..."
THEY ARENT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE2 -
So there's that project with my coworker. We splitt up the classes, 10 to be implemented by him, 10 by me.
Fast Forward to 4 weeks before deploy.
Coworker: Your stuff logs a lot of stuff. It's not very clear and a liiittle to verbouse. 5 entries per second? Too much!
Me: Okay, you're right. Let me fix that.
2 Days later I look at his logs at runtime. He logs EVRY SQL statement and their results! In a batch that processes a 10'000 of customers!
He points out: That's useful stuff and it's not that much. It's needed for debuging.
My face: 😦4 -
Jmonkey 3 is so damn fast wow, why dont they use this wonder instead of unity?
*angry js fanboys in the distance*
Oh yeah thats why1 -
All my respect goes to sysadmins, ive been trying to hack together a cronjob for tha past 2 hours and its still not working.4
-
Moving to a new office this week. The only chinese restaurant nearby is one of those where you get 5 times the amount of rice compared to the meat. Fuck.4
-
I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us1 -
Just wrote an angry email about the unrealistic demands towards my team. Got a call an hour later from [product owner] where he had the most worried voice i ever heard because we are the only data scientists in the research. I expected an email reply in 2 weeks, seems like we are somewhat important here.2
-
GIT COMMMIT LOG VERSION 011
-------------------------
4cc7d0d Derp, asset redirection in dev mode
6b6e213 Lock S-foils in attack position
1e44549 I am even stupider than I thought
2f6bec9 You should have trusted me.
891851a To those I leave behind, good luck!
3367d77 Update .gitignore
46d6b0f Merging the merge
b12f6fe First Blood
0598e4f 8==========D
9151ff4 Finished fondling.
3a0ec1e ...
8358c20 c&p fail
bc1e834 magic, have no clue but it works
31bb17a I don't get paid enough for this shit.
21edb91 :(:(
7a71610 Stephen rebase plx?
2060661 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
21ac5d2 Handled a particular error.
2dedd90 pam anderson is going to love me.
c3d4c83 omg what have I done?
d38bafd Herping the derp derp (silly scoping error)
e461773 Merge pull request #67 from Lazersmoke/fix-andys-shit Fix andys shit
1faf82b Is there an award for this?
1f6e3f3 Feed. You. Stuff. No time.
6f0097d I'm too old for this shit!
133179e I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
d3e5202 harharhar
57d9a7c THE MEM TEST FUNCTION YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, IS HERE. SAY THANKS FOR THIS COMMIT MESSAGE -
I dont really have a story here, i just want to thank every college teacher/assistant teacher who has real world experience and decides to pass it on to students instead of picking from the billions of job offerings.3
-
After catching up on the mcu movies, i finna watch infinity war, but honestly, am i the only one who thinks they need to start working on other things than the origin story of every damn being in the unuverse?7
-
When you realize that you have only couple of gigs left on your SSD and the culprit is 41 GB log file.2
-
This wasnt i thing i learned, rather a thing i taught someone.
It doesnt matter that you are in love with x language and you want to devote your life to it if the industry adapted something else, you will have to compromise.
(Node vs php)1 -
Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.
-
me: fuck yeah i love java
java: JFormattedTextField tf = ((JSpinner.DefaultEditor) columns.getEditor).getTextField();
me: ...
me: punish me more mommy3 -
So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.9
-
>open project
>add some prints to debug a small thing
>algorithm gets completely fucked up, replacing data everywhere
>close project -
GIT LOG VERSION 110
---------------
a9c2934 I don't believe it
fb8d2e6 I am Root. We are Root.
6be9078 FINALLY FIXED THE FUCKING BUG IN THE CODE, DO NOT EVER EVER FUCK ME AGAIN YOU MARON
3d08a88 THIS IS THE FUCKING WORKING VERSION
013faed THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, GO TO A PREVIOUS COMMIT
af5d013 We'll figure it out on Monday
49e238b de-misunderestimating
a40351b happy monday _ bleh _
a5f345d Fixed unnecessary bug.
485a26a pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
c4fcbde s/import/include/ -
Be me.
Learn angular for a project @ work.
Do the filter-page-by-textbox thing.
Type "nex" in search bar.
Not working.
Spend 3 hours reading tutorials and docs.
Realize all divs have "nex" in them. -
That feeling when you pump out pet projects for a few days and then suddenly you stop and your entire wednesday feels wasted.1
-
I think somewhere i read a quote from Gary Kasparov on his view on Chess.
He said that after certain point of mastering it, it becomes too much mental pain.
I think the same can be said about programming.
Devs really enjoy it, but sometimes, damn that Null pointer exception.1 -
Tldr: what are some tips you wish you got when you started programming?
Hey so. I got added to a facebook group with absolute beginners to programming. Been tryna answer their questions but its getting overwhelming and i thought id make a definitive guide to beginners or something like that. I have a buncha topics and tips but the more the better, so please if you got some advice you wish you got x years ago, post it down here.5 -
If your site uses angular or react or some other piece of shit framework to load the data after the site has fucking loaded, make a public fucking api because i cant parse your shitass website from source.3
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Right now i want to put together a system to automatically water/warm/whatever my chilli peppers, but on the long run i want to embed some microcontrollers into my body.4
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how to php, an infographic by Bind (that me)
0) assert your goal, in this example let it be sending an email from the server
1) search for implemented methods
2) all you can find is either outdated or not helping at all
3) think of solution in any other language (eg c# or node)
4) implement 3)
5) iterate until you have something that works but you have no idea why
6) after 1 week, realize that there is a built in method, but its called userData_registration_sEnder0(adress, header, egg, pinNumbe_r, message)
7) cry5 -
I came home about 1am and saw a bug in a small (unpaid...) project that had to do with timezones (see some earlier rants). Fixed it, got to bed.
A few days later I realized that a feature I implemented before was gone. Going through the git log I found out it was me in that night who removed it, by accident I suppose.
Not the end of the world but I was quite intrigued by my own drunk ability to remove a feature that had nothing to to with what I was doing and not even noticing it.2 -
You know what I had to deal with
A bunch of these shit
try{
//Shitty cluster fuck excuse for java
//code
}catch(Exception e){
}1 -
The past few months i got a bunch of emails and calls from my previous "boss" (hes the head of the research), that he would be grateful if i helped them out. I got a few friends still working on that piece of shit project so i said yeah, i can help.
Now this whole thing is a research involving most of the big universities, lots of math phds, and is kinda secret. They couldnt find anyone to sketch up a few stupid algorithms for them so i did just that.
Yesterday i got the specifications for the task. Its the core functioning algo, the one i made from fucking discrete integer data, it took me 3 fucking months to correct their mistakes, and now they want me to create 2 similar patterns for 2 completely different...things. Yeeeah no.3 -
Right now what i want to do is just quit everything, move somewhere else, get a job and never fucking look back. Im sick of all these projects college dumps on me, the idiots im surronded with, my job, people who think im interested in their fucking research. I just want a 8 to 5 job and after 5 im fucking done and nobody calls me about how long will the next release take for projects i dont give a shit about.
In other news i just started my thesis yay.1 -
I made a speedcoding video and its really fun to see just how fast can you make yourself code something that works.
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Here, ill probably make more later.9 -
Windows has just asked me the password to my Microsoft account to fucking access my computer.
... Do you mean that if I didn't have Internet access I couldn't use my won fucking computer? WTFF!??25 -
I wanted to rant like 10 times today but was on a tight schedule (yes its fucking sunday), so here is everything:
*********
Fuck you, i dont give a shit that you need to present data tomorrow, its weekend, you cant just fucking call me to get things done asap. Im working from the code of a dead guy do you know how fucking hard it is to ask a dead person whats their code do?
*********
I really wish devrant had some kinda longboard/skateboard in the profile pic
*********
Im still not a fucking designer i can make like does-not-make-you-barf tier designs, JUST TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING CODE JESUS
*********
whys the new rick n morty episode not out yet wtf
*********
Yo i love linux but set the fucking privileges right you dipshit, i cant exrcute my damn code on your crappy ass 2008 xeon server fuck you3 -
Why the fuck does android studio freeze on every 7th deploy. I just want a world where jetbrains can actually create useful IDEs please.4
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What's so damn hard about a simple change log when you update your app? Or at least point me to somewhere where I can see that. Ugh. Come on.
6 -
me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA -
Trying to bulk upload users to Office 365, something is going wrong and all the log file says is
"[]"
Thanks, that helps a lot -_- -
i really love using linux with terminal only up to the point when i need to check a command and realize that i havent even installed a browser on my pi4
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So there are a few bugs with IDEA and qwertz keyboards, namely there are combos on @ { < keys (you know, not that i would use those in java). After setting it to qwerty, manually deleting every shortcut and restarting the whole damn universe, still nothing. Very useful, 10/10, would use again.
Except not.1 -
Warnings are design errors.
https://dev.to/sebach1/...
I think is better to paste the post here, but it doesn't allow MD :(
Wanna hear your opinions.
Fuck warnings.13 -
I said do fucking not include log files in the git repository! I have removed them and added them to the gitignore and there are they again...2
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1) clicking on the wk141 tag wouldnt show the wk140 rants
2) big titty mafia mommy gf
3) when i buy something i always have the exact price on my bank account -
I found a cooler master atx with built in power for like half the price of a cm atx and a cm power supply yay2
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2 week "conference" "meeting" in greece. Thought would also be a nice chance for a vacation. Except the cell network is absolute horseshit here, who the fuck uses 3g anymore??1
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My companys custom logging library is not thread safe and has problems with multiple instances of the endproduct as well.1
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When updating the activities log:
- Working in the clients report feature 8:00 am - 9:30
- Improving slow query 9: 45 am 10: 45 am
- Filling this piece of shit because my boss cares what other departments say and wants to demonstrate that we are actually working since his a fucking square-minded dinasour who thinks more hours = more productivity FML 11:00 am - 11:15 am1 -
Log 1:
Day 10 of crunch time. I have entered a sleepless zen state. Lord willing, I will be able to get 7 hours of sleep Saturday night. The building is terrifying at night, as there are a lot of noises. Security guards are nice, but curious to see me all alone. Must not show weakness in case they think numbers will give them an advantage over me.
Supplies are low. Only one type of energy drink left in the machine, and coffee gone for the night. My phone is out of fast data so Pandora is spotty at best. I have battery to get me through the night at least.
Tomorrow and Saturday decide the fate of the project. My team lead has not slept in at least 2 days. I feel guilty napping when I do, but she is driven like Ahab so I will let her obsession carry her.
If I am alive tomorrow I will report in.1 -
This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.
Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.11 -
junior developer raises an issue saying that there's an application deployment error on one of their dev clusters.
sysadmin asks them to go back and look at the error logs and come back with the problem.
they come back saying, "No space left on device"
sysadmin takes a look at server. finds this :
5 -
I just got a legacy java system and im starting to see why kotlin should be implemented, so fucking imbeciles cant use null as a database path
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!dev
>Be my friend
>Buy a tdi
>Upshift at 1300rpm
>Get up to speed in like a minute
Ffs the turbo never even turned on what the fuck.1 -
Everyones like "python is pseudocode" but honestly i dont see it, after sql, python is the least intuitive syntax i ever worked with, and i frequently use haskell so4
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!rant
I love the cloud. Not the google drive kinda, but the one that integrates with your workflow like git. Tinkercad, for example, its great that i can just log in from my work pc and continue modeling where i left off.2 -
Does anyone else have a bigger than necessary gap in their log out button?
Just realised it's Christmas morning and I'm posting about a UI problem...
What is my life.
15 -
How come that im absolute shit when it comes to designing a webpage but i can make really fucking cool looking android apps, when they are essentially the same thing1
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Anybody entering ludum dare on the 29th? I wanna try my luck at making a game, never succeeded before :')3
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Currently rewriting a python library because the author clearly doesnt understand what crossplatform means, and this language is fucking terrible.2
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There is a job fair coming up next week and while i dont really want to find a new job, i thought this would be a good excuse to update my cv a bit.
My question is, do you have any templates/frameworks/anything you usually use for stuff like this? I always throw together some bootstrap page but i want to learn something new.1 -
I cant really contribute much to this wk because im mostly doing dev stuff in my free time.
But league and, well, strategy games in general taught me a lot about micromanaging stuff and thinking ahead. My advice is, if you wanna get better at most mental tasks, go download lol or grab a copy of cities or eu4 and play for half an hour every day.9 -
Ah yes i also love when you have so much shit to do for college where you are supposed to be studying developer stuff, that you havent written a single line of code in the past week because you dont have time.1
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Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.2
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Nice man page, I quote:
$ git help whatchanged
'[...] The command is kept primarily for historical reasons; fingers of many people who learned Git long before git log was invented by reading Linux kernel mailing list are trained to type it. [...]' -
What a mess ^^
From one moment to another unit-tests on my local machine stopped working.
There was a PHP fatal error, because of insufficient memory.
Actually, there was a ducking "unit"-test of a controller action "log".
This action returns the content of the projects log file...
Since this log file grew over the time, PHP tried to assert the response of the controller action which was sized about 400MB.
C'moooooon guys!
What were your thoughts behind this bullshit? ^^ -
Quick Plesk config question...
Been getting open_basedir() notices in the WordPress logs, and frankly it's flooding the log right now. Sample below:
[24-Feb-2019 07:05:19 UTC] PHP Warning: file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(/var/www/vhosts/webspacedomain.com/SiteInstallDirectory/wp-content/db.php) is not within the allowed path(s): (/var/www/vhosts/webspacedomain.com/:/tmp/) in /var/www/vhosts/webspacedomain.com/SiteInstallDirectory/wp-includes/load.php on line 397
Checking the settings for open_basedir in the domain's PHP settings, it's currently set to the following default value:
{WEBSPACEROOT}{/}{:}{TMP}{/}
By my read, that **should** be granting permission to the directory. I just checked it against the setting on the dev server (which doesn't report this error), and it's configured in the same manner. Only difference between Dev environment and this one is that the one in Dev is in vhosts/webspacedomain.net/DEV instead of just vhosts/webspacedomain.net
Is there something I'm missing here?4 -
me on typing on Google ...
How to write a keyboard logger script and upload to a password protected computer?
:xD that evil plan.6 -
Windows 10 , I just want a flipping built in command line executable to log off another (local) user. I'm not a server, I don't have active directory, I don't want to switch to log in as that user first, i want to just kill their inactive local session because cisco freaking vpn doesn't allow you to connect when a other user is logged in. I can kill the session from admin task manager, I just want to be in the commandline. If your gonna let software check the number of logged in users, let the freaking administration modify the number of logged in users with a cli.
Idk if I could turn it off an on again. On a server I would just issue "query sessions" or "query users" followed by "logoff ##". Why not let me do the same damn thing on my home computer sk I don't have to restart MY SESSION just to close MY WIFE'S session. You stupid fraking company that cannot provide consistent command line programs across various systems. SCREW YOU MICROSOFT AND YOUR UTTER ASANINE DECISION MAKING REGARDING WHAT FEATURES TO INCLUDE IN WHAT BUILDS.2 -
How can I, in JS, make sure a class (Vue) is instanciated only after a certain element is inserted into the DOM?
Currently, things are executed in this order:
1. Create modal
2. Append my-element to modal
3. Show modal
4. Instanciate Class (Vue)
Gives me "Vue cannot find my-element".
However, it works if I instanciate Vue in the console after modal is visible.4 -
Guys, I'm refactoring a server code from es5 to es6 and I would like to know how to get es6 errors like when I'm working with React. I have installed babel, and I can compile es6 code but I get errors that target the es5 (compiled) code so it's not easy to find the bug sources5
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2020 goal
Shid and fard
Also some form of a biohack that makes sens in a day to day life, looking at the new spider man movie glasses rn1 -
Any good recommendations on how to gather user metrics/instrumentation and visualize data?
The program is a WPF application with not internet connection so logging to file and get file is probably the only solution.
I've played a little with Serilog to file and trying to import the log into elastic search and visualize data with Kibana.
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