A scammer called me today. They were saying that harmful files were moved to my computer and they needed to remove them. I don't think they are ever going to call me again.

S = scammer; M = me;

S: this is tech support we need access to your computer because we detected harmful files and need to remove them.
M: oh my! Hold on, let me go to my computer now. How can you access it?
S: we can just use RDP and delete the files. They are in a hidden folder that is encrypted so this Is the only way.
M: oh ok I believe you. Hm... it looks like my son only allows certain IP addresses to access our computers.. I don't know how to disable this so can you just email me your IP address?
S: Sure...

He then sends me his actual IP address... it doesn't even look like a proxy or VPN.

M: oh my I forgot that you need my password to login. It's really long and complicated... can I just email it to you?
S: Sure!!

I then tell him to hold on I have to find it that my "son" stored it somewhere.

At this time I'm taking a photo of my bare ass and attaching it to the email. I then say in the email "Please note what my job title is in my signature.. I just sent the FBI your name, phone number, email, and IP address. Please enjoy my bare ass, you'll see a lot of it in prison."

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

Designer: The design is done and approved by you. Set the launch date. We just need to put some code behind it and the shop project is finished.

After the meeting the programmers heard what the designer said to the customer in the meeting.
Programmer: *facepalm*
PM: *facepalm*

Never have I been so satisfied as I am right now after having implemented a login and user account system with the ability to update user preferences with databases n' shit in PHP after only knowing PHP for a day.

Speaking of all that, do you guys know of any good place to make sure all my stuff is secure? No SQL injections n' the like.

every programmer starts with html.

so why is it not considered as programming language?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<+>+>+++>>>+++++>>>+>++++++++++>++++++++++>++++++++++>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++++++[<<<<<++++++++++>>>>>-]+++++++++++[<<<<++++++++++>>>>-]<<<<----->>>>+++++++[<<<++++++++++>>>-]<<<---->>>++++++++++++[<<++++++++++>>-]<<--->>++++++++++++[<++++++++++>-]<++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[>>><<[>><[><<<<<<<<<>[-]+>[-]<<[>>>>>>>>><<<<<<>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>[<+>-]>[>>>>.>.>.>.<<<<<<<[-]]>>>><<<<<<<<<>-<[>>+<<-]]>>[<<+>>-]<[>>>>>>>>.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>>>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>[-]>[-]<<[>+>+<<-]>[<+>-]+>[<->[-]]<[>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<[-]>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<-]>>>>><<<<<<<<<+++<++++++++++[-]+>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<-]>>>>>>>><<<<<<>[-]+>[-]<<[>-<[>>+<<-]]>>[<<+>>-]<[<+++++>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<[<[>>>>>>>>>>>.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-]+>-]+>>>>>>>>>><<<<<-]>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<<->>>>>>>>><<<<<<->>>>>><-]++++++++++>>>>----------<+<<<<-]++++++++++>>>>----------<+<<<<-]>>>.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>.>..<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<