Me: Can you make me some meatballs?

Engineer: No, what are you talking about?

Me: I thought you were a chef.

Engineer: I'm not a chef, what made you think that?

Me: I was looking at your code and I haven't seen that much spaghetti since Olive Garden ran the endless pasta special. I was just wanting some meatballs to go with it.

I'll make the documentation after just some lines of code

Just found this in some website code.

Purchase made.

The "startup idea"-guy starterpack ... "I just need some one to code it."

Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me

*piano starts

Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant

*piano

It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning

*epic guitar

I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo

I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging

Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!

*epic guitar

So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here

*epic guitar solo

Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them

Any way this code blows

"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"

"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"

* 3 hours later *

Still coding, wtf is wrong with me

I made an account just to rant about this:

Currently working for a multi billion dollar company and this is the code some wanker decided to write! Now I get the pleasure of reading through and debugging it :D

That feeling when you've been writing some sophisticated feature in Java for 2 consecutive days and you compile the code waiting for errors but it just works fine without any errors.

Ever wrote some code so sweet you could barely contain yourself and want to call some of your friends to share your achievement... then realize they just wouldn't understand.... #needcodefriends

My colleague just committed some code with description "improved some bugs"

...should I be worried? 😂

This is the shit I have to deal with in school. Teacher told us to review each others code. This is one of the gems i found so far. Some people just wants to see the world burn...

Designer: The design is done and approved by you. Set the launch date. We just need to put some code behind it and the shop project is finished.

After the meeting the programmers heard what the designer said to the customer in the meeting.
Programmer: *facepalm*
PM: *facepalm*

I just hate npm dependencies.

If you want to write a small website with npm dependencies (some frontend deps like Bootstrap and some development deps like gulp or babel) you will have more npm dependencies in your project than own code. It is ridiculous, how some lazy developers just add dependencies to their projects, without evaluating their dependencies. The source code of one of my projects is around 4MB (without any dependencies). If you then run yarn as required, it grows to around 80MB (where 73MB are node_modules).

This is just terrible.

I rant about this, as I made the mistake to upload my node_modules directories when restoring a backup of my server. Worst idea one could ever have.

At a friend's party, I met one of the guys I've known from High school, and talk about what we've become:

Him: ...so yeah, now I study CS, I code some C, I dislike Java, blablablablabla I'm coding some OS and embedded software, blablablabla, and you, what do you code in?

Me: Oh, I learned everything I know by myself, still learning, and I'm mostly doing some PHP and Javascript. Doing websites and apps is cool.

Him: but those aren't programming languages? I mean, you can't manage memory, and blablablabla-

Me: Ó_Õ * Quickly dashed my ass off to talk with some ladies and boozed myself to forget what I just heard *

(after 1 month working on native android app).
Me: The android app is now ready.

Boss: okay great... Can we have the ios one ready for launch tomorrow.

Me: No it will take some time.
Boss: why you already have the Code can't you just make an ios app out of it... Like copy and paste

Me:😡😡🆘

"Running the sample code is easy! Just git clone, make sure python, lua, gcc, docker and cuda are installed, and run ./install.sh. Easy!"

Me: Light 6 candles, sprinkle some thyme water with unicorn tears over my keyboard, start chanting an unholy hymn... shit... some compiler error from a library I've never heard of before.

Why can't these "interesting samples" come with easy pre-compiled binaries...

Today I checked out a Repo on Github to help a friend.

Holy shit is this code crap!

Basically one single method contains the whole logic.
637 LINES OF PURE AND UTTER DOGSHIT.
SIXHUNDREDTHIRTYSEVEN LINES!
ONE SINGLE UGLY METHOD.

If I have enough time and energy, I will probably create a PR in 2021.

Some people... wtf.

(not my friend's code, he just uses the program)

(Edit: I had to remove the rant and censor names in the image)

Shouldn't be necessary if you just write understandable code xD..... Some people just write stories in between 2 lines of code....

It's disheartening to see a senior member of my team shitting on the code of less mature developers. Don't just say "this is unacceptable", elaborate, teach them. How are they going to action anything from that feedback?

Take the time to respond to their questions when they ask for clarification on what you're saying. Don't berate them.

Honestly some developers need to learn a thing or two about code etiquette.

There's no room for good cop / bad cop behaviour.

Just downloaded some big ass codebase and the first line i read is:

"// The source code is not well documented, but every advanced programmer will be able to understand it after some time."

Well... let's find out about your definition of "some time", Dickhead!

Just coded for ~14h straight. Started doing some super heavy code cleanup and refactoring. Almost cried when I saw my code from the past.

Maybe it's time to call it a day...

Client: I need html code for this search bar *attaches png*

Me: Ok. I will send you the code. HTML is just for front end views.

Client: ok. I will place an order, you can send it over *places order*

Me: *copy 6 lines of code from bootsnipp*
*make some changes*
*submit to client*

Client: Thanks but when I press the search icon it does not display the relevant records.

Me: *smh*

*browsing some fresh SO questions*

Hey! I can help this poor fella out, I have been in his situation.

Take my time to write out a long answer explain what was happening and for what reason, links to documents and resources to back it up.

Write some example code on what I would suggest doing, again providing the underlying documentation.

3 downvotes, and a snarky comment from the OP that my example code wasn't tailor fit to his application. Accepted answer was literally "try this: <my code tailor fit to his application>", accepted answer.

Seriously what's the point in just copy pasting a tailor fit answer which doesn't explain shit on how you can solve the issue yourself next time?

Just hire someone to code for you if you don't have half a grains braincell to actually learn to do it yourself you ungrateful idiot

My fellow students as high school freshmen: You can code right?
Me: Yup
Them: So can you like hack the school and better my grades(they are all honor students btw)
Me: *Sure, want me to hack paypal and get you some cash too?*
Them: Jeez just asked for a tiny favor.

WordPress needs no introduction, it powers a significant portion of the web while having some of the most nightmare inducing code i have seen in all my years as a developer.

Just look at the API, i mean what the actual fuck is that?

get_fucked();

"You guys are taking to long. can't you just copy and paste some code and complete the website?"

Literally fuming right now.

"I made your static HTML pages into a dynamic site! Now just include <%Header%> instead of copy pasting that nav into every page!"

...1 week later...

"You made our website all crazy. None of the pages have headers in the source code but it still shows up by some kind of witchcraft. Put it back."

WORST???

Seeing your code, which you were proud about, now being butchered by some interns/newbies 😲

Just like seeing your X girlfriend after long time 😒

Some dude in my university used Squarespace to make a webstore, presented it as his final exam in Web developement and passed with flying colors.
They didn't even look up the code or anything, just gave him max score and that's it. I hate my school...

Edit: a friend just told me that the guy didn't even made the site. He paid someone else to do it.
I honestly don't know what makes me more sad

I just changed a bunch of comments, log entries, and removed some blank lines from one of my controllers. Zero functional code changes. Everything worked before; now it runs only half the code, breaks, and throws strange errors.

Fucking hell.
Screw today.

Github == Graveyard

Projects thats been left behind,
Pet projects which are never maintained,
Some newly dug graves waiting for git push (might never happen) ,
Decaying code over time.

Just sayin. There might be graves of code which are loved around and are visited...

I just came across some code I wrote a year ago that I don't entirely hate.

I'm legitimately a bit worried.

!rant

Someone just downvoted four of my answers on Stackoverflow just because I commented on one of his answers that "please include some description, just code won't be helpful"

PEOPLE IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT YOU ARE WRONG THEN GET THE FUCK OUT FROM OUR COMMUNITY AND STOP RUINING IT.

"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."

Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.

Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.

If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.

Goddamit!

"Hey I am a programmer too! I can code anything, I bet I'm better than you!"
-
"Huh, that sounds cool! What languages do you like to write your programs in?"
-
............ "English"

🤦🏻‍♂🤦🏻‍♂
True story by the way, some guy I just met did this. I was not sure how to react. Should I laugh? Should I cry? Should I kill myself? Should I kill him?

A random number generator in my code just gave "0000". I even thought that could be some bug and was investigating. How cool is that?

why i like c#?
1- easiest way to build a program with good GUI. just put some XAML code and it's done.
2- I love syntax of c#. it has types. god I hate php XD
3- C# is also fast and strong.
4- don't forget the .net framework that has almost every thing I need.
3- A god like IDE, the Visual Studio.

So our robotics team just got some code ready and our robots servos are reading hardware fault. Fml

Been working with some remote freelancers that my boss has hired.

Guess what I've found in their committed code?

I've not seen someone as sloppy as this guy right here.

Just fuck me already.

My school's mascot is the duck, but I like to think that someone had some heavy code to fix up and just took over the campus

sometimes I hate python....

Ive just chased down a bug where a simple string saved in a simple dict sometimes came out as a f*cking tuple(!) when I needed it!

turned out that at some point this dict got updated with values from some other dict. And at some other point, I decided it was a great idea to rewrite that update code into individual setter's instead ... and of course forgot to remove one the trailing comma's, thus creating a perfectly legal tuple .... *sigh*

No errors, no warnings - just plain corrupt data....

Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?

Me
Yeah sure why not.

Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.

Just finished......Realised had to rant....

Just found this piece of code from one of my coworkers:

restMethod() {
try {
// some complicated logic
} catch (WebApplicationException e) {
throw e;
}
}

Why?!

And btw: Hi fellow devRant ppl! 👋

If you're gonna comment a lot or a little, at least be consistent. I just read some code like this:

//prints "are you ready?"
printf("are you ready?");

//get the value
int findVal(int x) {
/* some fucking complex algorithm with no comments whatsoever that seems to have an error messing everything up */
}

In web technologies lab.

Friend copied some php code from some website and saved it.
Tries to run it and it just prints whatever he wrote.
After thinking for like half an hour he calls me.

Friend: hey u know php right? Why my code is not running?

I check the code in the editor and everything looks fine except he saved his php code with an extension .txt 😑 😑

Someone saw that i didn't use mouse while typing code and asked me how do i do that and i told him that i just use vim. He didn't know what it is and i told him some things that it has a learning curve and stuff and he told me that he will definetely look into it.

Come to the dark side kid.

People argue all the time what text editor is the best: VSCode, Sublime, NP++, Emacs, Nano, Vim, etc.

I just remembered when I used to do my HTML, CSS and JS in regular Windows Notepad, as a requirement in my Web Developement classes...

I think some good came from that, I picked up a habit of writing my code very neatly, easily readable.

Just left a technical interview, is it just me or are some companies waaay too focused on your theoretical knowledge instead of your ability to solve problems using code

Having a talk with a client, just before "closing shop" today...

- ...so, how are you going to spend this holiday? I'm going to the countryside for a bit, relax, have some bbq...
- I still didn't get paid, so I might just sleep, or cook, or code something for myself.
- Oh...

Life is hard, dude.

🤪

Just found this while trying to understand some code:

```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```

I thought this was worth my first rant...

This is just like me when I play with my baby niece to remove some stress from work. Effectively recharges me and can code again even if I'm tired

I am seriously getting pissed off at these so called web developers on Instagram... More often than not I stumble upon an image of vs code with some Lorem ipsum code on the screen.

Just now I saw a picture that drew my attention, so I clicked on to the profile and fuck me in the rectum from a 90 degree angle this is what I see. Visual communication does not FUCKING EQUAL WEB DEVELOPMENT.

DAMN IT, JUST FUCK OFF.

I've spent three days trying to upload some code to my ESP8266 and it failed every time. Now I just plugged the Arduino at my Desktop and it works. Notebook USB port does not provide enough current I think.

I just found this in some code I'm now supporting

for (var i = 0; i<1; i++) {
...
}

-> everyone at the company uses git
-> asked to change some stuff
-> boss says "don't remove the old code, just comment it in case we need it in the future"
-> ...
-> ???

When some of my friends says programming is easy when i show him app then code i just wanna to throw something to him and walk away with saying "Fuck why i cannot have programming friends ????"

Coworker: "Yeah, I know the code module is 25K lines of code, but don't try to break it up. At some point I realized that they just have to be that big."

Me: 😦

Just got my beta access for Framer X. They describe themselves as "Unity for design" bridging the gap between Sketch and React using code-based components. I think it has a lot of potential. Would love some non-designer perspectives. What do the front-end devs here think of it?

I was looking through some old robotics code from the team I am on and I found this:

Void ArcadeDrive(xspeed, zrotation){
Drive::ArcadeDrive(zrotation, xspeed);
}

Why?
Why not just pass in variables in the opposite order?

So I've been doing some code jobs now and recently they pushed me to a new level.
This company worked with some silly management app made in cpp which they asked me to edit a little bit giving it another style and some additional functions.
Day 1: this code is a mess.
Day 2: this code is a mess.
Day 3: how does this code even compile.
Day 4: I no longer have faith in humanity.
Day 5: I found my first comment (Yay?).
Day 16: I'm done.
Day 19: I got paid.

If you're making a project in cpp just like that dev you do deserve a punch in the throat.

No documentation, no comments, no patterns, just some thick pasta of poorly written code, names like fCalcAllTaxFilesSizeMB....
This haunts me for real.

My boss just asked me to participate in a conference call to help an external senior dev implement some stuff/tool into our website.
My boss suspects that he doesn't even know Git...
Let's see how that whole thing will turn out.
My boss told me that he looked at his code and it already looks like an abomination of PHP...
It is enough that my boss usually writes shitty spaghetty code.

I will not sleep well this night.

I Just created My first code in brainfuck.

My First reaction was why was this made, but as I continued it seemed to make some sense, even though All I was using was some random ascii symbols

I know I rant about how bad the app is I have to update on at work is but seriously first week into this job I found skeleton code from a taxi app, it wasn't in English and lately I found some code from some sort of funeral app wtf!

This just takes copying and pasting to a whole new fucking level!

/* rant */

I freaking hate it when people call me to fix their 9 gazillion dollar ultra extreme enthusiast alien technology pc just so they can play a a god damn freaking son of a damn bloody bitchy fb game on 9000 fps in 4k while some people struggle to have 6 tabs open at the same time so they can code+compile+preview+consult the interwebs. And lets just not mention the amount of monitors mmkay?

The code for some of the backend of my 100% custom media server in front of the blurred frontend of my media server. It just looks cool

IntelliJ has this tutorial where it teaches you a bunch of shortcuts for making life easy, since version 2017.3 or something like that. Most of it is pretty meh, some of it is pretty useful. And I just came across a keybind to auto format code.

What else do I need. If I can quickly format my code and make it look pretty, that's all I'd want.

"Try reformatting the selected code with Ctrl+Alt+L"

*Linux Mint goes to lock screen*

*logs back in, code is unchanged*

Well played...

Today I looked at some code from our CTO. He used plain SQL Statements with huge selects and no prepared statements.

I asked him:
1. why dont you build some helpers or even use some frameworks?
2. why are there no prepared statements?

His answer (to both questions)
We do not need that. That just uses too much ressources and time. It's more cleaner and simpler this way.

My Face: 😵

just found this in some code running in production.

// This is a single comment.

Just found this comment in some code I wrote a few months ago... don't think I've ever been more honest!

It's a pain in the ass that you are given a really short deadline with a huge system scope, i think the clients think that i just throw some pixie dust to my pc then it magically code it self.

The weekend is here!!!
Time to go out and have fun!!!

Nah just joking. Time to write some quality code after cleaning our company's backend (pun definitely intended) all week!

For fuck's sake man! I know you are an inexperienced junior dev/student but estimating 3 months at 6 hours /day for slightly modifying some C# code is just ridiculous.

I may have never touched anything .NET before but the modification required just 3 fucking lines and I did it in a day. In three months I would have finished the whole fucking project.

PS: VS2017 (RC) was quite lovely.

*squirming in bed*
If it ain't broke don't fix it.. If it ain't broke don-WHAT THE FUCK IS "payment.needed2"??
Calm down, it's just some bad code but it works, you didn't write it, it's not your probl-WHY THE FUCK DO THE IF STATEMENTS HAVE SO MANY DUPLICATED LINES??

Sleep. Just sleep.

Cousins came over...

Me: just compiling some python code, opens up jupyter notebook to take a look at some data science code
Little Sis: *looks at jupnb dump on cmd*
Whoa are you Hacking?
Me: yeah. I got bored of whole Hacking command typing thing so I opened up my hacker console.
*print("hello world")*
Sis:wow!
Me: you know what, typing is too tiresome, I'll connect to it with my mind
*alt-tab*
*cmatrix -b*
*sits in yoga pose*
Little Sis: Screams at the top of her lungs and runs to aunt
"DAVE IS HACKING MATRIX"

So VS Code, you're using ~60% of my CPU and I've let you do that for around 1/2 hour now. Why do you do this? I know your brother can do this as well, but he does have some valid reasons unlike yourself. You're just a glorified notepad with some extensions.

This week has been hell, nothing i attempted worked out, so i guess ill just go and write some depression code :/

Life cycle of code

1- See what sound code I have written! It's beautiful.

2 - Hey we missed something last time, just add this bit of tweak.

3 - We need to add some flags for some exception cases

4 - Hey there is a new requirement. Just add some more paths and more flags

5 - More flags!

6 - This shit runs now more on flags than on the design!

7 - Flagception!

Made me always think something like:
Code: should i delete it or just comment it out?

Files: should i delete this file or just rename it as .old?

OldHW: should i put it in the bin or i can recycle some parts?
Etc......

let's try something...
Roast thread, please tag and insult your fellow devRanter in this comment section. Get creative in finding swearwords. Too many ++ bombs, poor code quality or you're just secretly in love with some other Ranter and hate it.

Had a code that handled home network and was checking if everything is OK and ETC. I once noticed when i was at home and when i unplug NAS from outlet that it took hour or so to get email.
This is bad as you can imagine.
So after looking at the code i changed some code and just made it more dynamic to workload.
Lets just say that the email were now instant and also i somehow fixed CPU temperature website as side effect for whatever reason.
I felt good that day and bought pizza and got some beer and said fuck to school.

So I was looking through some old files, looking for some help while I was working on a project and I came across my first codes I wrote in school.
This one time I challenged myself and I tried to write the code a bit.....different. When i ran the code it worked as it should, no problems, then he said:" Show me the code how you did it". I giggled a bit and opened it up. I still remember the expression on his face. He wanted to say something twice but couldn't. Then he just sighed and said, please don't do that again.

While working on generic enterprise code: querying databases, calling third-party APIs and just passing data around, I'm thinking: "PLEASE LET ME DO SOME THINKING, LET ME WORK ON SOME HARD ALGORITHM OR SOMETHING!"

When finally working on 'some hard algorithm or something', I'm thinking: "ARGH! MY HEAD ACHES! GIVE ME RELEASE! LET ME WORK ON SOME MINDLESS ENTERPRISE CODE!"

Just spent three hours debugging why a jquery didn't do some actions with a div through its id. MAYBE NEXT TIME I SHOULD CHECK FOR FUCKING DUPLICATE ID'S AND REMEMBER COPYING SOME CODE THE DAY BEFORE WHICH CONTAINED THAT FUCKING ID. GODVERDEGODVERDOMME.

Don't you just love that feeling when you know you could have implemented some code better.

Just received the code for a WP site that needs a redesign... The guy who owns it outsourced the job to some indian folks who filled it with at shitton of plugins, and now it's both ugly as hell and a bitch to work with...
FML.

VSCode you fucking piece of shit!

Just got my code working and rewarded myself with tweaking some of the configurations. Coming back to my file and it's all irrevertably messed up with randomly pasted and probably some deleted code snippets.

How's that even possible? 😡

Every time I read some code of the rust standard libraries or code of other popular rust crates, I feel ashamed of the code I produce ... their level of documentation is just outstanding, mine is ... hardly existing?

Guess a rant about myself :D

So I just recently joined stackoverflow. Spent some time time and decided I should log out considering I logged in at work. Could not find the fucking logout/sign out button. Even after googling. Had to go to the source code and find the logout link which is hidden in the page.

Looks like it's the new vim.

I hate hearing "this should be a quick one" from the client. Especially when your code base is a fucking legacy with no documentations, no testing, and a multisite that shares the same classes where functions has some crazy if conditions just to satisfy each site's requirements.

One thing I hate about WinForms:

"do not modify the contents of this method with the code editor."

How the phook do I add eventhandlers without adding them in the code? By some mysterious ways in the so called "designer"? Click and drag? Wearing a tie and talking to the computer? Making a phone call to Microsoft? Immersing into VR and ordering an event handler from a virtual store?

No, I've always just typed whatever I want to achieve and I'm going to do so whatever those know-it-all comments say in the auto-generated code.

You can call me a conservative old fart, but nothing beats writing my own code.

A rant about people in general:

I am sick of people not caring, not giving a fuck, not valuing others.

Studying CS this is something I noticed the past year: people tend to not acknowledge that there are other human beings around them.

Some are just focused on getting their degree done and dusted as fast as possible, which is fine.
Some are working to pay the rent or student loans, which is fine.
Others just do their thing, code their stuff, criticize other's code... which is also fine.

But nobody's realizing they're interacting with other people! Other living, feeling human beings. For them it's just about getting it done.

And not just at university.
I've started seeing it everywhere.

At the job I'm working, people in the shops and on the streets.

I don't get it. We are all human on this rocky sphere in space. Why do so many not care for each other?

It makes me sad.

Me: Startup initialization tests fail so the system won't boot properly it until we fix those issues.

Manager: comment out the lines of code that are causing problems.

🤔 So we are just going to feed power to some hardware and see what happens I guess

Had to fix a bug in flask App built by 3 ppl !
So I some how roughly figured out the code and was trying to fix.
The bug was
I click on submit, two times the record was entered into database.
(Second time, duplicate error).

So to figure out ,I just commented the code which inserts to DB!

Whola!
Now only one record is inserted!
I still don't know where it's actually inserting !, And IDC , problem fixed

Shall I boast about my skills!?😂

Because of some theft this year and even though we already have security cameras, my apartment building decided to check the front door locks so it's more secure.

This key looks very high tech... Only issue though is I never use the key anyway... I just entered the door code...

So what is the point of changing the locks? I'm going to guess whoever is stealing isn't picking the lock... People would notice... They must know the code.

Also it seems most of the apartment locks are digital key card/pins too. Wondering if this just means most owners are young or just are techies/devs...

Just got an email from the boss asking if me and the other dev on a project have been liaising with each other before editing code because changes were being lost and over written.

Wouldn't it be great if here were some way to manage collaborations and control versions of files? *git*

The company is so reluctant to use git and do things properly.

-.-

It’s almost 2am, I cant sleep, I have an early morning class that I’ve already skipped twice this week, but I just can’t make myself fall asleep... I’ve been switching from devRant to Facebook to instagram for like 3 hours just to have something to do.

Thinking about just getting up, making tea, and working on some code to at least be more productive with my time

But I have sleepy-brain and idk if I am even capable of coding right now

Last week some Client Service broad called my team the equivlent of "code monkeys" to my face.

I was THIS close to bitchslap the bitch!

Today I just told her I would pass the next two of her projects to my "code monkeys". I could see the despair in her eyes :)

How often do you get bored (eg. on a bus) and just code something completely stupid on your phone?
(pic is the result of some spaggeti I made on a bus today)

Recently, I had to make a minor modification to some Node.js code a coworker wrote a year ago which buffers stringified JSON into Kinesis. I just needed to add a new key to the input object, it took minutes to make the change, but hours to make sense out the absolute trash spaghetti code this guy wrote. After spending half a day trying to make his code readable, I just got so pissed off. I replaced his 15 files/+1,500 lines of uncommented code, filled with classes, factory functions, poorly named functions and vars, and so, so many spelling mistakes.

We now have a single, well commented, 300 line file that does the same thing.

Get that shit code out of here.

Every project I do at work.

I either learn some obscure command to get it working that I'd never come across or I learn some faster method of doing something or I just get better at structuring/writing code.

Having peer reviews has helped immeasurably and just going over old code that others have written and trying to improve it.

I fucking love my job.

Can anyone tell me why is it good to use some crap language that transpiles to javascript? Yes i hate js too but 90% of my time using reason/ts/elm is just

>ddg how to do x in y
>no answer
>Js.unsafe.eval "js code"

Like???? None of them is a 100% complete wrapper???

Some nice music. (Best OMFG)
And just the happiness of creating.
You need to have that feeling that you cant describe when you are coding to create quality code.
Without it the code is pretty ok its just not 100% but about 90%.

I just took over a new project from a brand new client today. It's an Android app that he said needed some updates and refactoring, and he said it wasn't well documented but he would add some comments for me before giving me the code. He gave me access to the code today and one class in it is over 1200 lines long with exactly 4 methods in it... the shortest method is still over 200 lines long. There is one comment at the very top:
// Needs refactored.

... gee thanks.

Just finished writing some code.
Got one error.
"Alright" I said, "almost done!"
*fixes the error*
"2589 errors"
I guess someone up there really hates me...

Just started onboarding the new hire and it made me realise how much of a dumpster fire some of our code is

People who put stickers on laptops... Are they badges of honour or aspirational?

So, if you code in VB6, but want to write Reason code, do you have VB6 stickers, showing you have lived through it, or Reason stickers, hoping that recruiters read your laptop stickers.

Or, is it just some undirected mess when you are handed a sticker and you put it on---like a reflex action?

Modern cross platform mobile app development is a lie. Maybe if you do Apple first, I don't know. Maybe xamarin is better than Cordova, idk. I've spent more time tweaking to one platform than I would have just starting with a platform and writing two or three code bases. I've got more if iOS statements than I know what to do with and the Windows code is some hacky transpiled mess because UWP isn't ES6 ready for reasons. Also, some error and image handling just doesn't translate. All this and I've got significantly less features than I could have implemented in the same time writing in a native language.

I don't know what to say.
.
.
.
Yes I do, just some clarification: not my code.

Just because OO exists, it's not mandatory.

Some code would be 10(+) times simpler, more readable and more maintainable without it.

Just going through some old code from git repo's and code examples and I have a message to every dev out there after seeing some of the code quality...

Never... ever... ever fucking give variables with names like vx, tr and sq.

Give your variables names that explain what they are, it is so fucking hard trying to follow code that has 2 letter variable names and there is a special place in hell for you :-)

I was just commiting some code on GitHub for school tomorrow and I kinda got lost in the commit description..

Ah, it just hit me so hard I had the urge to get it out.. Helped, tho, love you Git

Why should I make my fucking code messier and write some bullshit workaround just because you’re a stubborn idiot who refuses to upgrade your fucking operating system and browser. ARGHGHGGH

Code is just like poetry, and some people suck at both! 😅

While sitting in a train (5 hours trip) I really want to code something, unfortunately I dont have my laptop with me, so i just connected with ssh from my phone to my ubuntu vps, created some project via npm and use android app to edit the code. It is not perfect but works. Someone else code like that?

Ugh! So boring writing the same thing over and over! So instead I wrote a ruby script to generate some C# code for me!

Honestly...I just make excuses to do stuff with Ruby 😂

I just read this great line in the Google SRE book which I have experienced myself:

"Some of the most satisfying coding I’ve ever done was deleting thousands of lines of code at a time when it was no longer useful."

I just hate how my body believes that coding time and snack time are synonyms. Like ok, i might have been eating some chips or noodles while i was doin' the thinking, but hell, i cannot just empty 2 or 3 bowls of food each time i have to open and IDE.. How can you guys keep yourselves busy from eating when you fight the evil forces of bugged code?

I was think of using ajax to pass data from javascript to php because of some validation to my multiple checkbox, then before i go home the idea hit me to just use validation in php with some basic variable manipulation and if else, i just wasted 2 hours of searching just to arrived at a basic solution, i think it's much better to think before you code about what you want to do,but when i open my text editor i get distracted a lot.

Don't you just hate it when you have some of the best programmers in the office with you, but none of them can fucking spell! Imagine having to spend more time decoding comments than actual code

Arch I want to love you. But you're so freaking unstable and I just want to code in peace without you freaking out every week about config files being screwed up. Why can't we have the stability of more mainstream distros AND the Pacman package manager + AUR? Some of us have to code for a living you know.

I'm really tempted to just go back to Debian to set it and forget it. PPA's be damned.

Just came across this in a website project of my company.... and it goes on for about 5 times of that. But it's not in the html code, guess it comes from some js framework. Not sure if bug in framework or bad code in website.

If you expect someone to help you with your errors/bugs, at least get some proper logs and explain what you tried that didn't work. Don't just spam them with pictures of errors or "something is wrong. Please fix".

I've seen people taking pics of their monitors. Half the code is eligible due to the glare -_-. At least take the effort of posting your code somewhere and sharing a link. GitHub would be the best go IMO

We had this new guy working and we assigned him some work to do. We gave him some time to find the way into the code and figure things out on his own.

Instead of doing that, he wrote a paper of 20 pages why WPF would be way better than what we are doing now. There were many flaws in his document as well. Also on day 2 he used resharper to format some code file. Bye bye annotate! His argument was that resharper knew better. But, our code also uses some reflection, so that got broken. He didn't knew what reflection was and assumed resharper "fixed" it.

He doesn't work here anymore now, he felt he wasn't taken seriously. This is just one of many examples of him though 😂

OpenCL...

Okay so I'm completely new to OpenCL and I just put some stuff together to get a simple GPU Kernel running. Well that worked pretty good.

The reason I got into OpenCL was because I wanted to do some simple SHA1 cracking on my GPU. What I did was, I got a fast implementation of SHA1 from the internet, which works perfect in normal C++, but for OpenCL I have to rewrite some things. So I replaced all the memset and memcpy and so on with simple for loops and it still worked. Now, this should work on OpenCL, too, I thaught. God I was wrong!

Somehow the clBuildKernel got executed normally, but when I try to access the returned value (the error code) I get an Access Violation? It just doesn't make any sense to me?

Well I will try some stuff tomorrow again and I will find a solution for sure, but still, until now I just don't understand it.

Which place do y'all go for developer related comics and memes ? Besides devrant ofc.

I actually wanted to use some in a boring article am about to write. Something with a sword and needle context, like people using heavy frameworks when a small snippet of native code could do just fine.

Created a github open source project for voice recognition for react native Android.

Needed help developing some features and did my research with links to some articles.

Then some guy that showed interest in the specific issue just copied my repo and launched his own npm package with the new features.

Just threw my code in the garbage and just felt so irritated. I did all the research and shared the research links and he just duped me and left me to rot. No credit given.

Fuck that guy. This is not open source.

Rant over

So just saw an email from our team's vice manager about need to improve code quality by using some new system.

Well that set me off on a huge rant about all the issues I see in my team and what exactly needs to change... (just some new sytem he's pushing isnt going to help)

wonder if i might get fired... even though i m right...

And so much for my plan to update docs... I've forgot what I wanted to do...

So I am young 14 year old programmer that just started high school yesterday. What are some good things to try and do for a future job? Should I stop coding until hs is over, do I code casually with free time and then after High-school I will know a lot more? Not sure how it all works

Programmers after Writing some successful code be like:-
"Chill, chill just chill"

When that code went into Testing phase:-
"Where are you now? Under the sea.. Under the sea..."

Taking over development of a system from some other guy who just straight up dropped it with zero documentation. The code looks like he wrote it after watching some getting started tutorial. There is no structure. Some methods and statements are just empty. And he spelt 'connection' three different ways in the same file.

God help me...

I have a friend which have a hoarding disorder when it comes to coding. Here are some of the things he does:

1: If he rewrites, remove, or in any other way refactor a function, then he keeps the old one in the file commented out.

2: If he deletes a class then he takes the code and paste it into a class that he have just for old code. AN ACTUAL CLASS! Not just some random text file somewhere. Even though it is commented out, he leaves it so that you can initiate his garbage.

3: In point 1, the code is not pasted on the end. It inside all the other actual code.

So if you try to help him with something, then you have to dig through a mountain of shit just to find some code.

Me: "Boss, i need sum help, i got this file you made, DataTable.Columns.js. i dont know how to add some more columns in it because its too complex with its 1400 lines of code."

Boss: "Oh yeah, to add more columns just add them in this file, i think its called datatablecolumns.js"

When it’s 3am and you are working on an exception for more than 2 hours and have optimized your whole code just to be sure and remember you are writing swift not java: some ints have low max value like UInt8.

Taking advice from devRant and just working on some documentation for hacktoberfest. Well until I can find a project that I want to add code to

Damn it, it's 3am and I just confused myself with my own code, and edited the wrong file AAARGH
Probably time to get some sleep...

Copy-pasting 90% of our entities including logic and merging some - creating thousands of duplicated lines - and then creating views for those abnomalies just to speed up the ORM fetching which could have been done with a single join...

Took me some time to delete all of that fking shitty untested code full of bugs...

How I always feel about Xcode when compiling Swift code, opening storyboard files, or just in general.

We need to make some of these stickers. ++

Working on some 2 year old php code don't know who has written it.
Found a function with some 500 lines of code and there is 3 times MySQL connection is initiated overriding same fucking variable with hardcoded database parameters in all of them
What the fuck man😦😦😦

Plus I have just started revewing the code there are tons of files and everywhere connection is hardcoded.

I just hate wordpress. Whenever I have to touch it, makes me nervous.

This time I just have to put some html/css. I was thinking it's piece of cake.
Couldn't be more wrong. This fucker is adding extra tags to my code fucking up what made...

Computer programming teacher wanted us to write some pseudocode to solve an algorithm just so we can practice writing some code and solving problems. The teacher needs a copy so I spent about 2 hours today rewriting all of that pseudocode because she wants it handwritten...

So I just stumbled on this code...

if (some null check...) {
// TODO verify if this should be break or continue
break;
}

Yeah, i'm not touching that..

After writing ~200 lines of code and then unit testing it

THE TESTS ALL PASS!!!

then I run them again just to be sure and they all pass but mocha is saying I am getting 40ms lag on some of my tests...

Noooo!!!

This is meant to be an async message passing system; I cannot have an input lag of 40ms :(

Helping out a friend how to code, and he said:

"Can't we just use a string? An array is just like a string anyway."

We were looking at some setting types in Visual Studio.

Visual Studio Code !!
It has tons of features, form keybinding, to language support

I just love the inbuilt terminal support

And with git integration and some plugins, there's absolutely no need for separate git client

I tend to do spaghetti coding when the client is pressuring me on their software, and then after some time they'll become stagnant which basically gives me space to breathe and do code but then the I'd be too lazy to reconstruct the whole thing and just continue until it becomes one big blob of monstrosity.

I know that if something looks stupid but it works, it ain't stupid... but this is just plain borderline.

Basically, a cast from int to String to int to String from some legacy code I'm working with

When I was starting programming (learning Actionscript 3) loong time ago I for some reason didnt stubbornly write code into .as files... Instead I just attached code to timeline keyframes in Flash...

Hey, I need to get something from the database here. But I've already created the connection somewhere else. Oh... I know! Let's just copy paste it here, here and here... Maybe just here and here too... And some more over here...

- The thought process that probably went through the head of the moron who wrote the code I started working on

My dad was using notepad to edit some HTML for his website. I downloaded Visual Studio Code and he likes it SO MUCH MORE. (I wonder why....).

Kinda happy I could help him with it. He is pretty good at coding but just hasn't done it in a while (not his trade) so he doesn't know all the new tools and such.

There's no provisioning script. Code repo's there, but no configuration files. Missing folders that break the app. No documentation on what to install, what directories to create, NO instructions. Nothing. Just an empty Ubuntu vagrantbox and a git repo. Took the entire morning and then some, just to replicate the dev environment. Fuck

Just a small discussion topic, if you could look through the source code ad have full access to 1 project/application/game/moon base forever, what would you choose and why?

For me, I would love to go through the source code for the game Hyper Light Drifter, would love to see some of the inner workings and just learn new methods of doing things.

*Writes magnificent class for company that makes code safer and faster. Nothing proprietary but super useful.

Me: yo boss I just wrote some sick shit, can I use it my projects too.

Boss: No, all your codenz belong to me

Agencies... Just hate when people are given only time enough for doig crap code, because "there is no budget". Hate even more to work on changes on top of it, because people just dont get why you take so long to do changes that supposed to be simple, ignoring the fact that previously they asked for some slap-dash shit. What do they think, that with time the code cleanup and tidy up itself?

I'm BACK! (Just haven't used DR in a looong time cuz I had other jobs and kinda forgot about it).
But now I am back and recently got hired as the IT-support guy for some health centers. The best part is that they had some old systems that needed updating so here I am trying to wrap my head around PHP before throwing myself in someone elses code, someone got any tips for learning PHP?

Blind coding some C# code for a website using Kentico :P

Never really wrote ASP.NET/C# code as I'm doing right now (handling file uploads, file reading/parsing, importing data into the database through code)

So far so good, works even better than I've expected, no errors in sight and it's handling exceptions really nicely too

I just hope it stays that way

P.s.: yes, I comment far too much, but I'll get better in no time :P

My idiotic teacher doesn't know the difference between Java and JavaScript , asked us to use a old version of Code::Blocks(some c/c++ IDE) just because she thinks that a update would modify compiler in such a way that basic code would never give the same output , she blames the compiler just because she isn't capable to see her mistakes and gives me bad grades just because she walked through college and I didn't.

It is funny that every non-programmer person refers any code computer executes to as "app".

Just wrote a script which does some routines during startup of PC for a friend of mine. Cringed when he said "Thank you for the app."

I just noticed that I haven't touched an IDE or any of my own code since June. It's been almost half a year, and I have not taught myself anything.

Well, I have learned how to compile open source C code, but that's because I am constantly distracted by Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead and Dorf Fort.

I need to stop distracting myself, and get back to teaching me some computer science.

So, I was fixing some code today, and stumbled upon this. Is it just me, or is this really an example of bad bad practice...? And, no, there was nothing to be executed after this function was called.

Who doesn't know the moment of absolute heartattack when you accidentally press/drag something or press some weird hotkey combination and something on screen flashes, disappears, groups your code, opens some random file, starts your email client or just simply closes what you were working on without any confirmation window

Today, my fellows not a rant, but a glimp of blissfully sent client from heaven. Doesn't complain at all. He is not a fuckin jerk, he just trusts my judgment both in code and looks. No one will ask me to adjust some petty thing for some obscure mental fixations! Join me in this party!

Sometimes I've looked back at some code I've recently written and thought, this makes no since... Instead of rewriting it, I just leave it confident in my brain at the time...

As a kid when I was coding I used building blocks and I used some yesterday for Lego robotics at a science center and I felt really dumb because over 2 years since I was 10 I used actual code like typing it and it feels much better than blocks and just over all building blocks just make me feel so stupid😵

How to interpret when you receive bugs reported for your application?
Should I be happy that someone is using them or just be sad that I gotta fix them and how poorly I wrote the code.

Note: will obviously consider turning some of them into features. Though not all.

Had to port a python code some other guy wrote using opencv for some image processing stuff to Java. I thought "how tough can it be? Let's just try it out on python first just to verify the results", only to waste an entire fucking day trying to install opencv first and make it work and to add to it the crappy opencv documentation were no help. In the end I had to just give up on this shit and decide to just do the Java implementation which I later verified from the python guy's results.

If by some cruel act you're forced into working on a live environment, just make sure you're absolutely sure that your test code is definitely the code that's going to run... Not some horrible script that rolls back the clients database a year ;)

I just copied the exact same code from another program into mine, actually left out a loop because I didn't need it. Also took some other stuff out, nothing much, just some var = othervar that I didn't need.

The other program, from where I copied the code, works fine, is fast, I see no issue, has been in production for a while now and no complaints. Mine, WITH THE SAME CODE, doesn't move. I don't understand how this is possible.

So my friend and I have been casually talking about developing some indie games. I, being the one who knows programming, tried convincing him to learn some code.

Me: Hey, did you read the books?
Him: What books?
Me internally: ‘ok, maybe he just used some of the online guides’
Me: How’s [code learning app]
Him: Oh! I downloaded that the other day!
Me: Oh cool! What’s your account name?
Him: oh, I downloaded it but never actually opened it
Me internally:’fuuuuuuuuu-‘
Me: Did you learn any programming?
Him: nope
Me: WELL THEN FUCKING LEARN IT!!!!!

We don’t really talk to much anymore.

Co-worker: "You don't need to know the math! Stop going on about it."

Me: "I think you do for some things, my algebra is not good at all, I need to improve it a lot and I just think you should too."

Co-worker: "Oh stop it, If the code runs it's OK!"

Me: "Well yeah, the code runs but you're over-fitting like a mad man and have a P-value of a bejillion."

Co-worker: "What!?"

"data scientist"

okay just had a mind blown moment.

there are never 'technical errors'

everything is human error.

because at some point, a human started/caused whatever went wrong.

whether it was the fact that a human didn't account for something or made bad code, or made bad hardware,

every tech issue is a human one.

:/

Ever had the experience of looking for the perfect js library to do some small job for you, after hours of evaluating, trying to tweak the one that seems closest to what you want, you end up thinking I should rather just code this myself.

Thank God for devrant. I am literarily fuming right now. Just removed some redundant (or so it seems ) code last week and already suffering the consequencies. Crazy commenting screwed me up really bad.

It would be nice if I didn't have to come in and code on your bullshit product for your bullshit company so I could actually do some code and be happy about it.

If I wasn't so dependent on a regular income I'd be out and doing my own thing already. Money doesn't motivate me to code, it just creates the necessity for me to code for someone elses shitty ideas...

Haha, just found some code I wrote a year ago. Really bad...

Reading a post on Quora lead me here. At first, I didn't like the look and feel so I hit f12 to see if I code see the source code. One would think that after x hours spent coding at my work desk, I would just want to sit at home and watch tv or play games. However, there is something fulfilling about seeing a coded product and taking a quick glance at some source code.

More and more getting myself caught thinking about the code more than writing it. I mean I draft it, it is usually very shitty at the first moment, and insted of refinifng and adding spaces to moments I just sit think, write some ideas in my notebook, search on Stack overflow, listen to the music, and wait until the code talks to me.

I know it sounds like some hippie shit, but it actually happens and really solves the problem.

Anyone has the same thing?

Biggest hurdle in my Dev career?
To be as good an architect as the developer I am.
Challenges: You'll have to convince fellow architects, business clients, junior developers, mid level developers. Some understands UML, some only wants POC, some wants to see code, some just wants a PowerPoint deck, and some just wants to see the cost benefits only.

"let's just copy and past the all the code with logic and smack on some if statement and change some texts for localization"

What the fuck, why?

Try to avoid writing code that just works because one day some of your colleagues will have to refactor all of it and changing 70 files aint something someone would enjoy doing.

some ppl seem to take too much pride in making everything configurable, tbh sometimes it just seems they're too lazy to make a decision

why not just ship the compiler with an empty text file and let the user "configure" the system it with code :/