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Me: That's not how browsers work.
Designer: Well, our users need it.
Me: Uh, I'm not arguing with your idea, but no browser supporters that kind of thing
Designer: Well, figure it out because it's not optional.
Me: ... I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm saying that's not something we can do.
Designer: So, what will it take? What do we need to do to get this in?
Me (not actually): motherfucker this isn't a negotiation! I'm not arguing I'm fucking explaining the limitations of web apps!30
Our current designer is convinced that 00FF44 bright green fits well with the rest of our soft purple/blue color scheme.
I am not a designer, but have worked in a color laboratory, so I've tried time and time again to explain CIE LAB color space, and how at least HCL is a good way to pick & group colors into palettes by using 2-3 luminances for equidistant hues while keeping chroma constant.
I've tried to tell him that the bright green almost physically makes my eyes bleed, because humans are quite sensitive to greens.
He just keeps using the phrase "but it makes the buttons pop nicely".
I just want to pop his skull open with my keyboard. 😫12
A designer made a loader animation for me to use in the app.
When I finished implementing it, he said it was "too fast".
So I asked him for the fps. He said what's an fps?
I asked him what's the duration of the animation then?... Him: Idk
So I raged and showed him that the fucking software he uses has all the info I needed. It was 15fps animation, and he gave all the frames. So simple math, and there it is...
But still, it was "too fast"
So I asked him to play my implementation and his side by side. It was in sync.
So he's like "yeah it's still too fast, I only draw it this fast for better quality"
I told him it's staying the way it is, and he can go learn how to use his tools properly.11
Designer: The design is done and approved by you. Set the launch date. We just need to put some code behind it and the shop project is finished.
After the meeting the programmers heard what the designer said to the customer in the meeting.
GUI user: "How can you work from such a basic text interface like that terminal?"
Me: "How can you work with all those stupid buttons that more often than not can't do jack shit?"
Being a Powerline user, I do think that design matters a lot. But so does usability (I don't want my programs to take half a minute to load their bloated UI's) and the ability to use every feature that this or that piece of software has in its command line arguments but not necessarily as a GUI option.9
I'm a backend dev, but i often have to imagine and create the design since there's no designer at my office 😵😱
So far, i hate him!(me)4
Story 1: https://devrant.com/rants/1326925/...
So met this guy on LinkedIn. Seemed knowledgeable and skilled but lacked creativity. We had a call where sharing "everything" was obviously not possible. Therefore, I decided to keep certain topics for next call/meeting. He asked me to send the project details and everything. I did as requested. We schedule another call. He seemed to be pissed. Wow! Dude what happened? He says, I cheated him because I did not mention certain critical things on first call. I explained to him that as this was a big gig, I was planning to discuss the important things in person to avoid any misunderstanding but dude refused to understand. Well fuck off then. Later after few months, he comes back and I decide to work again because dude seems to be intelligent and I learned a lot from the previous experience. Dude fucks up again and blames me and my friend for all the failure. Says he has the process copyrighted and patented, which he used to design our stuff, and he will sue us if we use the work or use the process.
We ask the dude to fuck right off and say that we are going to use the stuff and do whatever he can about it. Lot of learning throughout.
Story 2: Met this super-hot single babe (somewhere around 33, maybe?). Raining heavily. Reached the cafe. Both soaked completely. Discuss the details but the idiot refuses to understand my pov towards the project and requirement. Goes on ordering food and alcohol (note that I just cannot stand alcohol. I might punch you so hard that you might die if you force me or drink in front of me). Time to pay the bill and she hands me the bill shamelessly even when I had nothing and she celebrated as if it was Christmas. I pay the money and she says she will return later in next meeting. Anyways, we decided to meet again once to see if we can work out. She is not even carrying her umbrella. I had to share mine. The cafe was in bit-deserted side of town and literally, the streets were empty. Nothing but streetlights, barking dogs, heavy rains and we both under one umbrella. Being a good person, I decided to accompany her until she gets some transport. She left and never heard from her again. I am not even sure she was even a designer or knew anything related to design. But boy, she was hot. Never am I paying again for alcohol.
Story 3: Another female (average looking this time. LOL) said she works for country's top entertainment firm and cannot show her work because of NDA. Well okay, she wanted to meet and was ready to present the work in person. Fine. BITCH MADE ME WAIT FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR. I HAVE NEVER WAITED FOR ANY FUCKER TAHT LONG. NOT EVEN FOR DEATH. She arrives and shows her work. By now, I gathered enough experience to judge people and stuff in less than a twenty-minute talk. I got the feeling that she was lying about the work and was bluffing somebody else's work. I decided to test her with basic task. With all excitement, she starts the work and takes more than a month to complete one HTML page with one button and nothing else saying the design was Zen inspired. Well my dick is Zen inspired, suck it hard.
I got lots and lots. Hit me up if you are bored and want to listen to some stories.32
Designer - *showing an animation made with after effects* Lets add this really cool animation in our website
Me - Actually that will be very difficult with plain CSS. We will have to use some heavy animation libraries, and we don’t have that much time for the project.
Designer - Found a better animation
*shows another animation*
Me - *awkwardly* This is more difficult to implement than the previous one
Designer - What about this one
*shows yet another difficult animation*
Me - *ashamed and questioning my skills* ummm....
Designer - you know what, just add fade-in-out7
him: *explains feature*
Can you do that?
him: Okay, you'll do that.
spoiler: I did it. This actually happened like 3 times with the same dude.5
M "hey I see you changed some colours, can you send me the new values so I can implement?"
D "sure, coming your way *sends 50x50 jpgs that are a solid colour*"
M "errr please just send me either the RGB values or hex codes, I don't need the image"
D "well you can get the codes from the file if you want it so badly"
M "yes, I could indeed. But I shouldn't have to, besides it's probably easier for you too"
D "just use the image as textures, you don't even need to know the values"
*3weeks into the project*
Designer: I am done with the designs
Here's the link to the new designs for this project.1
My therapist tells me I’m not allowed to talk about problems I’ve had with designers anymore. *pops a valium*
So far all designers I worked with do the following:
1. Use "creativity" to come up with stuff that the system does not allow implementing, for example: Changing clock color in mobile statusbar to Blue!
2. Use "creativity" to come up with a heavily customized calendar for a windows software which requires building the control from scratch, but they explain their creativity by saying: Can't you use CSS?
3. Provide iOS only design which follows android guidelines and refuse to provide android styles for at least pages that to be handled differently on each platform, for example, we had a checkout page in an app, and they wanted the same style for both WITHOUT building custom control for it, they said: Can't you use the android custom control inside iOS
4. They design for a website and send same mockups for me to implement on mobile apps, the problem is a web page runs on a big screen when the mobile app doesn't have room for half the stuff they designed but they must look exactly the same as website !!
5. They send entire PSD with no color codes and say: You can extract icons, and colors from psd ... When they should provide them as per our request which is: SVG for Android and PDF for iOS with the color codes, but no, they are lazy!
6. They ask the team to create a page in the app which is almost production ready just so that they test different font sizes and see how it will look on the phone
7. Same as #6 for images that contain text
The list goes on, but those are by the far the ones that made me one step away from resigning, some of them made me resign...6
Hired a designer below me.. guy never wrote a full back nor frontend... Used npm shit for all his solutions and worked his way above me just by kissing ass and polluting the codebase in such a way 70% would be open source shitty plugins for shit he could not do by himself code wise...
At some point he assigned some of his tasks to me and I couldn't work with his patchy framework that was non existent within the codebase I worked on ...
At some point between npm installed tantrums I got pulled up to HR because my code quality dropped... And it was this fucktart that accused me of this saying I could not do modern development...
In the end I either had to butkiss after his butts or just quit, so I did the latter... I told him and HR I owned alot more code quality than this asshat but just not his way of working and therefor it was more an issue of code equality I was never aware of ...
A month after that the company got overtaken by some silicon valley bullshit company buying up competition, and he is still working within that shithole dealing with 90's tech...
Was the best thing that happened to me, after that I grew alot in skillset and such by investments from other jobs and projects... If I would still work there today I would consider myself a caveman6
We needed a design for our Android and iOS App, everything should be done by an award-winning design agency. What we received was only a design for iPhone X. Only mockups as PDF, no icons, nothing. So we requested the Android design and an iPhone 8 one including icons, color codes and whatnot.
1 FUCKING MONTH LATER we got the new designs... They are all the FUCKING SAME DESIGN where some mockups were "displayed" on an android phone, and some on an iPhone. Still no icons though.
3 weeks pass and we geht FUCKING sketch files, to extract the shit ourselves. Thank you for nothing.
It took again nearly 3 month to get a "proper" Android design and all the assets. You could clearly see, that they never did anything for Android but well, we had to work with it. Award-winning design agancy my ass.5
Well, the system is offline, links are broken and users are complaining! Developer, what did you do?
After some digging around the designer made a "simple change" to a csv file, add a column to include the image file name of each item...
I mean, it just shifted ALL THE COLUMNS in a csv file but what could go wrong? 🤦♂️2
Assuming that a designer can also be a game artist, I met this guy from China online and he seemed cool and all that, and we decided to make a game together, seeing as he was a good artist. I told him when the game would generate income once it's finished, we would do a 50% share. He agreed.
After a while of development, he sent me a message: "Hey dude where's my money?", and I was like: "What money? You agreed to have a share when we finish the game." He replied: "Yes but I need money, I don't care about you and your game. I want my money."
After this he kept sending me messages begging for money while he abandoned the project. Until one day he said: "I quit."
And that was the last time I worked together with someone on a game.11
My former team had an "ux expert" who made ux templates for new features.
For years since he started his job, the team was told that there will be a first face-2-face meeting.
It never came to this point.
Instead all the team know about this guy is that his name is Thomas and that he does all the talk and decisions with our client without a word with the team, bringing their imaginations to li(f|v)e...
No wonder the team got mad after some water had ran down the river.
At first they only questioned really poor design decisions.
But after a while the productivity of the team dropped, because they weren't willing to accept any of those design decisions.
Boi o boi.
Things escalated pretty well ;)3
My first project at the job was implenting a website, designed by the same company we mostly worked with.
It was very stressful because half of the 2 months calculated for finishing the project, these genius designers needed for their design. Until then, I had almost no tasks to do...
When the designs finally came, I worked on it and two weeks later was a meeting for review and to decide about some details.
These fuckers then concluded, that the whole design did not fit the page and that they would rework it.
Two weeks later, on the planned release day, we finally received it. A completely fucking different design! Wow!
My boss was pretty angry and so was I. We had to move the release 4 weeks ahead, the client was pissed like a stinking hobo and it needed a lot of convincing to keep that client...
It's fucking nerve-wracking as well that we always have to wait in most projects for weeks for clients or designers to add the content before we can publish a website.
They don't seem to care if they have 2 months or 2 weeks, we never were able to release one single project on time, because of these lazy fuckers...3
Designer ranting about designer.
Most graphic designer in switzerland have no clue on how to build a proper InDesign document. The design looks astonishing but when they want their design printed, they get roasted everytime.
No I can't print this ultra vibrant rgb color. This image has only 72ppi I need 300ppi in order to print this! WTF? What is this color setting? Japanese ICC color profiles? Are you retarded? No this layer composition is horrendous and unusable. WTF? a 60 page business report and no paragraph format presets? How I'm supposed to typeset this shit next year? No I can't print this fucktard, how long have been a graphic designer? 15 years? And you've still produce this crap? .... Every single time.
Thank goodness I don't work in print anymore.2
sends me a "screencap.avi" on slack. I download and open it, and it's a video of an IE bug where the width of the scroll bar itself takes up just enough that the content gets enough height to trigger a scroll bar to appear, so the whole page keeps twitching because the scroll bar keeps appearing and disappearing every second. LMAO FML FUCK IE7
this happened two months before,
there's a UI designer guy at my office when I was about to leave the office he gave me a web page UI which has to be done by the next day.
Next day I started working on that page when I was halfway done he came to my desk and said: "there're some changes in design, the client doesn't like this part and this."
I'm like, why the fuck you didn't take client confirmation on the first place that's a fucking basic and first thing need to do. Just like the client you are a fuckin idiot. And now we don't hang out anymore.
The worst thing that could actually happen: I was working with a designer on a side project which wanted to build and see it grow. Everything went good until... He stops the communication without any reason!
and because of us working remote from each other there was no way of finding out why...
The project died :(7
Well, I only worked with two designers so far. The first one was incredibly competent and a nice guy. The second one however...not so much.
He wanted me to change the background of his website to a specific pattern. It was a pattern that easily could have been used as repeated background.
So I asked for a single pattern in PNG format.
Guy refuses to give it to me and forces me to use a 4k image as background.
PAGESPEED LITERALLY RATES THE SITE 30/100 BECAUSE THE IMAGE TAKES SO FUCKING LONG TO LOAD
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU2
— *draws three overlapping blocks of content*
— it’s not going to shrink on small screens. Maybe we can put them in column for narrower widths?
— NO! They should overlap and I don’t care how you’ll do that!
So I stripped a responsive viewport, now the website is not responsive, but yes, we have “kewl and pwetty overwapping bwocks”, congratulations!
I'm going to replace Designer with Architect.
Every single day: WHAT MONKEY DECIDED TO BUILD THIS SYSTEM THAT WE NOW HAVE TO CONTINUE DEVELOPING?
HOW THE FUCK DID HE THINK TO SCALE BY BUILDING A SYSTEM THAT TYING EVERYTHING TO A SINGLE DB?2
My biggest problem with designers is when they have no empathy for the platform(s). Here's a design that I made based on my love of graphic design and Photoshop. Over to you to just slap it on iOS, Android and web. Ends up as a substandard result everywhere.
And, of course, the Photoshop designs look great to managers.
Basically every time a designer thinks they made the perfect design and that if the program works by itself that's it. No man, I still have to spend hours trying to make every element of my program map to the elements you put for me to use. Give me time!
Designer made the layouts reading only half the requirements. We have stuff such as "3 email inputs" where he just stuck one and told us to eyeball it if we needed something else.
Plot Twist: everyobody sucks designing stuff on the dev team, so after explaining that we needed more input from him, he sent us the psds and told us to change them as we saw fit.2
I am pretty much a designer.
I hope I didn't give others bad experiences~
Oh well I always loudly rant and get insulting when I see comic sans (in wrong usage) or ugly websites (not old or weird but old looking AND overdesigned 😓).
Probably that's what's most annoying when you're talking about me as a designer.5
Every designer I’ve worked with is too goddamn slow. I always have to drag the work out of them like pulling teeth with your bare hands. It’s just an awful process.2
Having a complete front end and back end application where the frontend is designed to look as simple as possible.
A new potential customer wants to have our app and listens to a designer bragging that its just replacing 2 fields.
After a while our manager comes by and mentioned that everything needs to be done within a few weeks....
All devs lose their mind since in the backend we need to have like 8 external sources to connect and hundreds of business rules to implement.
How a single designer ruined the year for 7 devs....1
My worst experience with a designer was when one forgot to design the website mock up for 2 weeks... so I just did it myself. Thankfully I have a degree in both development & design and bullshited my way through it. We were swamped at the time so I wasnt too thrilled to be doing his job. He somehow still has a job here, even though he's lazy and his mockups suck. 🤐😵👎
I already ranted about this particular designer and his need to mess with the client's server configurations.
Last time he thought it would be a good idea to use cloudflare for the 1 visitor per day website. And because he missed adding some important subdomains, the admin and register page didn't work. And oc the client called me in the night and during work because I destroyed her system.
And the worst is that this designer tries to redesign everything for 3 years. Every time he sends me new stuff, something is missing. Then I write him, that xyz is missing and he doesn't respond for months. Then the client calls me, why I still didn't finish the redesign and I have to discuss with her about the designer missed something. Then the designer writes the next time, that he will send me new stuff because the design will change again.
Oh, and I already wrote, that the designer is the client's boyfriend, so he probably sits beside her when I have to defend myself about not being able to finish the redesign.1
I guess no one except designers know the pain of dealing with clients.
I am a dev and a freelance designer and sometimes my patience drops to zero and walks out from my desk and try to sleep, just to not break stuffs out of anger. You guys think dealing with a designer is an issue? Try dealing with a dumbfuk client!2
Never had a truly bad experience with a designer but once one mentioned offhand that the unique keys that we were using to secure access to sensitive information should be only 4 characters long because it looks better that way...
I kept them at 161
Considering that I'm the designer on most projects and work mostly frontend... Well yeah I'm a bad experience for myself from times to times 🤔 but at least I know my tools and web limitations (haven read others rants about ignorant designers).. so.. that's something 🎉
I have a lot to say..
In my project theres a design department, since the beginning of the project they didn't want to be part of the scrum methodology..(they used to work waterfall..)
So.. they have a disorder on the user history needs, and they argue for every request that we need to finish the history..
They dont go to the plannings, dailys.. they dont know shiet!
And meanwhile telling u this rant im getting mad as fuck..
so at this point i cant even explain how FUCKING UPSET I AM & WHY THE FUCK people reject the change and decides to work by their own! fuck this!
anyways ill share 2 storys ( i have a lot..)
1. "Raise your hand if you dont know whats a button?"
So we created a standard button to be re used it in other forms..
The designer came late to the planning, and decided to change the button layout (again x4) & it's behavior, so he wanted "the button disabled, but not disabled", since he wasnt able to explain it as well, he got upset.. and said that we didn't know about how a button works & asked the public to raise up the hand who didnt know what is a button.. and we were like :
dude are u fucking serius?.. u cant even explain what the fuck u want, u came late, and know u act like if you teach about ux & design? fucking rockstars..
2. "why do you call me to the planning if you don't need anything from me?"
We ask and required the designer to be in the plannings to avoid the disorder and the delivery delays..
that day we didn't require anything from the designer, so he started complaining that we called him for no reason..
me : dude, d u even realize why is this meeting called planning?
In 2 months this guy redesigned 5 times the same website. Without saying nothing to the backend developer. Oh wait... this guy is me...
i know it's getting closer to the end of the week, but i just thought of something
god *looks up shaking fist*
I do not have any problem with designers
But with design itself...
$ ls problems/
-rw------- 1 enzop 57878905110832 Jun 17 13:53 problems_with_design1
Dear reviewers, feedback givers, coworkers, clients and critics...
There is a subtle difference between constructive criticism and just spewing hate!
One offers advice & points in the direction of a better solution, while the other one makes me value you less, as a human being...
If your comment/review/feedback is:
“I don’t like it, I don’t know why, I just don’t” - please keep it to yourself because it makes us less likely to listen to you when you actually have something worthwhile to say...
Any and all creative professionals,
So were working with this company, and their designer gave us some designs for the app that they wanted us to build, everything was fine and dandy until we realized that there were 6 different font colors, including three different grays... And to top it off, the designs didn't have a color pallet attached, it had a list of colors attached, but most of those were never used in the designs... So we ended up eyeballing and using color inspector tools to get the colors from the design, just to later get told that we used the 'wrong' colors... 😢
So after working on a website for like a month to make it kinda pixel perfect in every resolution on every device the web designer just tells me "ok, you should move this whole thing up 30px"
Ok, no problem, I change the CSS for that div and make it all go up 30px
The very next day he tells me the while thing is fucked up and not aligned any more
I mean, is was all the same as before, nothing changed!
Worst experience: I needed a designer to create some images of a person looking cross-eyed, it was to be put next to images of a phone to symbolize looking at the phone, I drew the images and explained what I wanted.
...sigh he came back to me in two days with a person with googly eyes LOL
I was so confused and since I got the images on the way home, I showed my brother who is also a designer the images I wanted and told him I wanted a person with eyes crossed as if he was staring at something, and he agreed it was odd
He eventually changed the images but even if you were to google crossed eyes you wouls get the meaning, maybe next time i'll print out google images
Older lady designer with 2 huge Apple monitors asking me to change a color on the UI or left shift list elements. That's not too bad, right. NOOOOO. All of those request asked individually in a timespan of 4 weeks. I was assigned to do just that and nothing else. Damn I was bored...I was not allowed to help other teams or even my own team members officially. Finally my boss called me up for another project. SALVATION !!!
PS. That project got cancelled. No suprise there.
I tell a designer at the company to take a look at a (huge) corporate web project we're currently building. He's not assigned to the project, but I thought a fresh eye and recommendations could be good for future Sprints, since we're doing a first release in a month.
The guy knew all of this, yet his "designer a.k.a artistic spirit" couldn't hold him from sending a UI/UX review to the PM, of about 6-7 pages or smth - I dont even remember now.
The whole report had a total misunderstanding of the business logics, because he didn't even wait for me to explain that shit to him. Eventually his versions of UX suggestions were irrelevant. It was pretty funny, now that i think about it.
I'm guessing he just hoped to get some attention...?
tldr: its fucking disgusting when designers try to act as artists;2
Just like last week's rant with developers, I've never really had any huge arguments with designers. Most of them been pretty cool, and if anything, I learned quite a few things from them that you would never learn as a developer.
Although minor, at most I had an issue with a designer was how they were adamant about not reducing the file size of images. They were arguing that it would make the site look terrible.