Client: I will send the design you just make it.
Me: uhh,..are you sure you can do it?
Client: ofcourse i can
*2 days later, sends this*

Or about the black market deals I do.

Chrome and Android Studio are so well linked. Whenever I get an error I just type the first letter in search and get the rest of it as suggestion. 😅😐😒

Boss: Need the software ready till evening.

Me: Haste makes waste.

Boss: You are going to write waste anyway.

Mobile version of Github website sucks.

Dev: "read the documentation i write its simply easy to understood"

Me: Yeah I can figure that much.

Stop with the overused "Hey programmer repair my shit" jokes.

Morning time.
Sitting on the toilet browsing DevRant.
Boss calls.
Phone vibrates abruptly and falls inside the seat.
And I almost shit on it.

I am from the future and Php takes over everything

Aha. Worked hard to maintain a reputation on SO. Mail came yesterday saying all my upvotes were fake, and suspended my account.

Eh...!

Fucktards sending me screenshot of their code to debug why the fuck can't you maintain a git repository.

Hey everyone, what do you use for Android development, Android Studio or cry till you are over it?

When my code comes for review

Why do they need the developer to be a rockstar?

Surprised people actually found it useful.

Some beer fell on my mobile accidentally.

Enough said

Fake Handshake

Happened with a friend of mine
*Before interview*
My advice: Try to ask about the company, the recruiter, the job. Look curious.
*Interview about to finish*

I: So do you have any questions?

F: Uhh, yeah, sure. Where do you work?

Boss : Change the website to look more professional.

Me : Change comes from within.

*fired*

Teacher : "0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of nothing."

Wait, what?

If I get 500 downvotes, do I have to give @dfox a stress ball?

Had an interview for position of an Android developer. All the questions asked were from Web technologies.

!rant

I am a simple man. I see a helpful answer on StackOverflow, I upvote.

Perks of having a shit machine:
You get to browse DevRant while your project compiles, or recovers from freeze.

"Help make the world a better place"
-every dev's official dialogue.

Ransomware: Haha, pay me now or say goodbye
Me: Hey, What are you doing on my Pentium?
RW: Whaaat? Fuck man you are a disgrace. Here take some $2000 and now I be off.

my hero....

Become AI myself