Skillsunzip; strip; touch; grep; grep; finger; head; mount; fsck; more; yes; yes; fsck; fsck; fsck; umount; sleep
Joined devRant on 7/1/2017
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One fine Friday night in early '97 while drinking with my buddies I got a page from work. Called the office to understand what the problem is.
*shit I can't fix this over the phone, and buddy here doesn't have a PC so I can't dial-in via PCAnywhere*
Told told the users "Ok I'll be there in an hour and a half. Stop all the running jobs and start the backup"
*figures I still have 1hr to spare so continues to down fair amounts of O-be-joyful with buddies then hailed a cab to office*
I arrived in office 1.5hrs later (2am) exactly as I predicted and went straight to work. Initial checks confirmed my suspicion of the issue so I wrote the appropriate SQL to get started:
'drop table foobar'
***The specified table (foobar) is not in the database***
I looked at foobar and figured out immediately why I got the error, then corrected the SQL and ran again:
'drop database foobar'
*What the FUCK!!! You fucking drunk!!! What did you fucking do? What if I disappear to another country, work as a waiter or something*
After a few moments of panic and a good deal of 'What ifs' I calmed down, looked to the users and made up some bullshit "Some of the indexes are corrupted, we need to restore from the backup"
I wrote most of my '94 midterm project during weekends where me and my buddies were drunk
When you've convinced a good number of your colleagues to try out Protonmail then you find out later that they're not using it anymore because it doesn't support the Gmail Android app 😬😬😬
Even if it's supported, WHAT THE FUCK is the point of using e2e encrypted email if you're accessing it using 3rd party apps?10
Goes for a tea break and wanted to rant about something. Opens devrant:
Ranter1 posted a new rant
Ranter2 posted a new rant
Ranter5 posted a new rant
"Ooh let's go through these first."
"Shit what was it that I wanted to rant about?"
I keep giving myself excuses but I'm really just a shameless fucking lazy bastard! Get off your fat ass already!!!1
me when I complain that Win10 update is so fucking slow and someone suggests that I do a puzzle to exercise my brain while I wait5
You know your project is successful when other people lose their job because they were made redundant by your project. A project that I ended up not being proud of.
When I joined this MNC back in '96 there were a lot of duplicate work happening. Staff from other countries would enter information in Excel, print it, then fax it to HQ where the 12 staff there (3 shifts, 4 staff per shift) splits the pages among themselves and enters the info into the system. A few months in I implemented something I did for my school project ( https://devrant.com/rants/783197/... ) - a lite version where staff from other countries could enter the info and send them to the BBS located at the HQ. Management said they like it and asked me to deploy, telling the 12 staff that they will be moved to a different role.
I spent the next 30weeks travelling, deploying and training. At the same time I was trying learn to learn how to do automated installs using Rar for DOS and their SFX module (I think it was v2) onto 1.44Mb disks so that we can ship them to the rest of the countries and anyone can do the deployment, then train them via PC Anywhere.
When I came back to HQ all but 1 of the staff were gone. I finished the automated installs and documentation then left the company after 3months. Needless to say I made more than a few enemies there. Oh and they managed to deploy to the rest of the countries using my packaged installers5
Took up computer course, never used nor seen a computer in my life. Was good at written tests, now first time to use the lab and first time seeing a PC
Prof: Today you're going to create your own bootable micro floppy disk. Afterwards you're going to load it with SideKick and PC Tools. Turn on the PC in front of you and insert your double density disks as soon as you see the C: prompt
Me: my disk won't go all the way in
Classmate: just push it in until you hear a click then it will lock
Me: still won't *pushes really hard until I heard a crack... my disk was inserted the wrong way... it did lock though*
Everyone in class looks at me and I start questioning my life choices. I could've sworn our Prof's face turned white
Finally I got the green light to migrate to Git. Now to plan and execute the migration of our ClearCase repo with roughly 1k++ labels and 14yrs of history in the next 6months
I wrote a Student Information system for my midterm project back in 94 written in Clipper and runs on MS-DOS.
I demoed & explained to the panel of professors how it tracks enrollments, payments, class schedules, grades and attendance of each and every student. Has user authentication, auditing and reporting functionalities.
It has a lite version also written in Clipper that can be installed on a Professor's laptop so that he/she can update records even at home, and would be able to sync with the db at school via a BBS. Telix for DOS (self-taught) was my choice for the BBS as it was shareware, has built-in Zmodem support and comes with it's own programming language called SALT (Script Application Language for Telix) that can be used for automating tasks. The lite version of my project would dump the updates on an ASCII file, compress the file using PKZIP, use the laptop's modem to dial-up the number to the school's BBS and send the file across using Zmodem protocol.
The main version would then download the file(s) from the BBS and proceed to do a sync.
After the doing the demo and answering all their questions the panel asked me to wait outside the room, called me back in after 15mins and told me that I don't have to attend that class for the remainder of the term. The happiness as the my classmates outside of the room gawked at me felt like King Midas himself gave my balls his golden touch.
Then in 97, 2yrs after I graduated, I accompanied my cousins to a different campus of the same school for their enrollment and right there on the bottom of the screen were my initials on a very very familiar UI! They actually used, and were still using, my school project. Needless to say my cousins didn't believe that it was written by me.15
Came home late last night and told my wife I'm skipping dinner to take a 1hr nap as it's going to be a long night of bug fixing and testing. Woke up, my wife and 1yr old son are already asleep. Saw the pic below posted on the wall above my work area at home. She's a teacher, she's never heard me mention it, and I don't use this method (I prefer music on my headphones). But she does know I lurk devrant so she must've browsed here while I was napping. Feels good. Code fixed, checked-in, unit tested and released for user testing.6
That feeling when you get unconditional sign-off with zero defects raised during user testing and crush the performance testing on first try. Proud of my team. Feels good man2
Meeting with another dev team whose application needs to interface with ours. A few topics and Q&A sessions later, a dreadful feeling started to creep up on me. That moment when you grep'd the other team's architects and technical lead for any combination of common sense and grep returned no results. This is going to be a long day3
--Dev is from a different team. String1 has a date value coming from an interface file that should always be yyyy-mm-dd format. And this "senior" dev extracts mm, dd and yyyy from string1 into 3 separate vars str_mm, str_dd and str_yyyy and even wrote a function to validate whether the month, day and year are all valid else returns false
Me: Why are you extracting the mm, dd and yyyy from your string1 just to validate them? Define a date var and assign string1 to that instead
Dev: Yeah but then if the string1 contains invalid date the date var will be null after assignment
Me: Exactly you thick-headed waste of space!
What I really said: Yup so if the date var is null after assignment then it's an invalid date
Dev: But I need the invalid date value to be printed on the error report. If the date var is null the report will show blanks
Me: WTF is wrong with you? You have string1! Take a shit on your hands and then slap yourself twice!
What I really said: My bad... Ah but then you can use the string1 var that holds the invalid date *smiles*
Me: Oh yeah! Thanks dude! *smiles and leaves*1