CLASSIC: when there is a big emergency at the office everyone is going crazy and looking for you even under the rocks and you show up at the office 😎😏

Life lessons..

An interesting paradox

"When your computer overheats, why does it freeze..."

That moment when you realise you sit in front of a computer all day at work to afford sitting in front of a computer all night at home.

That awkward moment...

How did I start:

It was 1994. I had been kicked out of school on academic behavior. I was working at as a telemarketer to pay the bills. I got drunk on St. Patrick's day and over slept my shift. My boss was going to fire me but said he wanted to give me a second chance. He asked if I knew anything about computers. I said no. He said if I was willing to learn, our IT guy was burning out and needed help. I said ok. Next thing I know I'm learning how to write SQL and importing data to print call cards. I read the manual for Foxpro and started building small desktop apps as labor saving devices. 6months later in knew more than our IT guy. Later a friend showed me "the Internet". I went back to our IT guy in amazement. He said it was just a fad. He called it the CB Radio of the 90s. Our network we ran was called Lantastic.

I immediately quit went back to school and changed my major. I have been a full stack Java Web developer will the heavy emphasis on UI since 1999.

I came to my sister's husband, programmer, and asked him for a book to learn how to program. He gave me a giant tome (probably to scare me out) and I read it page by page doing all the tasks. For me it was like a magic, I couldn't believe that I can write something in the notepad and then see computer do stuff because I told it to do so.

Back in the days...

Parents: get off that computer it will get you nowhere in life!

Me:But im programming not playing games..I want to become a programmer...

Parents:programming or games it's all the same! Take an example of your sister who actually achieved something with her studies (she's a doctor)

Me today asa computer engineer...receiving paycheck higher than my sister who is a doctor and not to mention I got a car of the company and living very comfortably.

Parents can't believe it.

#rekt

Moral of the story: never let anyone tell you what to do. Keep doing what you truly love and get real good at it!😉

"The client has no idea what they want, just throw your best guess out there and let's see what they say" -- best project manager in the world

When you get appreciation for the code that you took from Stackoverflow be like... 😂😂

Yes, This is really true...

I used codeacademy, codeschool.com, books and just practise

Programmer goes to the point

No commits?!? Well, maybe you should fucking make up your mind about what the fuck you actually want! I don't give a flying fuck about your pathetic excuses. If you don't get me a final spec, then don't try to skin my back about not delivering updates and "not showing active progress"!!! FFS!

Just realised some people have a different devRant theme than mine. Went to settings, and joined the Dark Side.

That moment when even google doesn't want to do what I asked 😭

Once, my Roomba managed it to lock me out from my apartment by throwing some wooden planks right between my front door and my cabinet.

Someday my toaster is going to have an IP address. A bad automatic firmware update will most likely cause it to get stuck on the bagel setting until I plug a usb key in and reflash the memory.

Grandma's refrigerator will probably get viruses, lock itself and freeze all the food inside, demanding bitcoin before defrosting.

My blender will probably be used in a massive DDoS attack because Ninja's master MAC address list got leaked and the hidden control panel login is admin/admin.

Ovens will burn houses down when people call in to have them preheat on their way home from work.

Correlations between the number of times the lights are turned on and how many times the toilet is flushed will yield recommendations to run the dishwasher on Thursdays because it's simply more energy efficient.

My dog will tweet when he's hungry and my smart watch will recommend diet dog food in real-time because he's really been eating too much lately--"Do you want to setup a recurring order on Amazon fresh?"

Sometimes living in a cave sounds nice...