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Before someone is losing their tits, i know it is an old pic, i have seen it before, but it still gives me a good laugh every time, especially as i am from eastern europe myself 😁
10 -
A client called me today saying their custom website I built for them is down. It just shows a 403 error now. They said they just wanted to update the prices. I asked what changes they made before it crashed. She said, "I couldn't figure out how to change the prices, so I just installed Wordpress, and now it doesn't work!" They completely deleted the entire website using cPanel and replaced it with a partially installed Wordpress.🤦19
-
Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.
And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.
And later:
Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.
Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.
And later:
Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.
*twitchy smile*21 -
Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?
Manager: It should work how it worked before.
Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.
Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.
Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.
Manager: Just how it worked before!
Dev: ...
Manager: ...
Dev: fuck you18 -
User: There’s a bug in the app
Dev: How do I reproduce it?
User: I don’t want it reproduced, I want it fixed!
Dev: …7 -
The best part of being a dev?
Want something?
It doesn't exist?
Build it yourself!
It feels like a superpower. :D2 -
Buy it, use it, break it, fix it
Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it
Snap it, work it, quick - erase it
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it
Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it
Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it
View it, code it, jam - unlock it
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it
Cross it, crack it, switch - update it
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it
Scan it, send it, fax - rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it
Turn it, leave it, start - format it10 -
Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!
Dev: ...
Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?
Dev: ...
Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!
Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Manager: ...
Dev: ...8 -
Hide yo' wives and yo' onanism, the haxors are cumin... i mean, coming for you!
Found on Reddit :D
10 -
Fuck China.
Fuck the U.S. government.
Fuck the UK and Australia and all the other governments for taking advantage of the crisis of the last two years to get more power and money for their elites.
Fuck them all for starting COVID with their unsanctioned and unethical “gain of function” lab experiments and creating so much chaos that nobody really has a chance anymore at living the life they had dreamed of or so carefully planned for.
Fuck them for the out of control spending and money printing and inflation and even messing around with trying to regulate and tax crypto so we don’t have any kind of escape valve to live a normal, happy life.
Because of them, I can’t even enjoy my time off work. Even if I could plan a vacation that wouldn’t have to be canceled due to an outbreak or resultant supply chain issues, I can’t travel without severe restrictions that make it miserable and not worth the trouble.
Fuck them for making everyone into stupid monkeys fighting over opinions about data that is incomplete, misunderstood, misrepresented, or downright fixed toward a specific pharma-fascist authoritarian outcome.
And fuck them especially for being hypocrites and going to parties and generally not following their own rules they made for us when they think we’re not watching, and then persecuting and prosecuting us when we dare do the same.
Fuck ‘em all. I’m so done.21 -
Optimized a query today. Before it timed out after 10 minutes, now it takes 4.3 seconds. Very proud.13
-
Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail
All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...
FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!
And the inevitable reply: no.
The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.7 -
Assembly...
Do I really need to say more? Okay, it's low level so there is no abstraction. All you deal with is cold naked mathematical truth and physical limitations.
It's still ❤️9 -
expect([
row[‘blah’][0][1],
row[‘blah’][1][1],
row[’blah’][2][1],
row[‘blah’][3][1],
row[‘blah’][4][1],
]).to contain_exactly(
a.name(user), # “John doe”
c.name(user), # “John doe”
e.name(user), # “John doe”
b.name(user), # “John doe”
d.name(user), # “John doe”
)
(Note: The comments are mine.)
See the problem? No, not the ugly code (which is actually worse than what i posted here).
It’s using the same ridiculous getter (if you can call it that) that pulls a name out of the passed user object, and then expecting each row to have that name, in order. Not that order matters when they’re all the same.
Upon inspection, all objects created by the spec have the exact same name, so the above test passes (as long as there are 5 rows). It passes, but totally not because it should: those aren’t the objects that are actually in the table. All of the specs — all 22 of them — only check for that shared name on various rows, and no other data. And it’s not like this is the only issue, either.
Fuck me these are bad.
And this guy is a senior dev earning significantly more than me. Jesus what the fuck Christ.19 -
Yeah Mozilla fuck merit and fuck you too!
This, this is what I was talking about when the fucking CoC came out and everyone (including it's author) started it using it as a political weapon.
You castrated fucking virgins! Mozilla, I want to support you I really don't like chrome but you always manage to disappoint everyone. I'm tired, tired of you morally superior socialists infecting my fucking workplace, entertainment and news.
This is just an excuse for lazy assholes to have their cake and eat it too and it's damn fucking INSULTING to us "minorities", I can work to get nice things just like anyone else bitch! having another skin color is not a disability!
Worst of all, you seem to have straight out millennial retards making these decisions seeing as it's based on an article from a washed up "gender research" professor that thinks Barbie Doctor is problematic, the most biased and dumb source you can possibly pull out of your ass.
Two classmates were murdered this morning, do you really think we care about what your diversity and inclusion Dept thinks it's problematic? You delusional halfwits, the only comforting thought is that your soft bigotry will perish alongside your product when it inevitably diminishes it's quality for sake of "equality".
Want to make better products? Ditch your useless diversity and inclusion department and start optimizing the memory consumption on firefox.
Want to help minorities? Start paying your outsourced developers decently.
I hope this helps people who thought including politics in software development wouldn't have dire consecuences to open their eyes; if not, oh well I guess people will get it when mozilla keeps going down the drain and they get fired because they just outsourced their work in the name of "diversity" just to save money.
https://blog.mozilla.org/inclusion/...
100 -
*offering sweets to a fellow at work
Colleague: Oh I'm a diabetic but What you've got here aaaaaa.....
My Brain:
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Don't say it
Me: Oh come-on already One small piece won't kill you11 -
Like "Why is Facebook webpage running so slow" (I think cuz of all the tracking stuff, and they are having trouble on my Linux machine). But I gave it a naive duck-duck and found this brilliant tip to "Reinstall JavaScript" to improve that performance. I'm just so speechless rn... And the cherry on the ice-cream is the link :D
13 -
Well I did it guys. I'm officially a Software Engineer.
I'm feeling serious imposter syndrome. Working on telling myself that I'll be OK though.8 -
I’d heard rumblings from my friends in other parts of the organization that there were going to be layoffs coming, so I’d warned my little engineering team. One of my team was vacationing abroad.
When he came back, one of my teammates told him it was all over and we were going to get fired.
He told me that he’d been told that and I said that it probably wouldn’t affect us and that I wouldn’t worry about it (I was under the impression that the layoffs would only really hit customer-facing roles).
The member of my team who just got back from vacation, the one who I reassured, was the only member of my team who was part of the group laid off.
Goddamn it. -
My colleague wanted me to examine a script issue. I open it up, and it took several minutes to comprehend how it worked. Once it finally clicked:
Me: I can’t decide if this is idiotic or genius.
Colleague: Well, YOU wrote it.
Me: Oh… Genius it is, then! -
Random profesional behavior reminder:
The fact that you're obviously from a minority doesn't automatically make you non-racist. Specially, it doesn't give you immunity for being racist towards other minorities.
Just saying! Be racist outside of office hours, if you can. Or just... Keep that shit to yourself. 💩41 -
Since devrant doesn't show the ranters
name in the feed, I found that I invented
a new game:
' Is this rant - rambling - from Kaine '
This has already given me quite a bit of joy.
On multiple occasions I have audible
exclaimed that 'I fucking knew it'
(≖ ‿ ≖)14 -
!dev
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
My Mother was intelligent enough to get her phone stolen and screams at me over the phone of my brother why I can't do more than telling her the last known location
BECAUSE THEY SHUT IT DOWN
I CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT THE PHONE HAVING AN INTERNET CONNECTION
But what if they go through my files go into my bank account
THEY CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PASSWORD ON IT
but they could crack it or something
NO THEY CAN'T WITHOUT TRYING FOR MONTHS OR YEARS OF POSSIBLE COMBINATIONS
but
NO BUT JUST FUCKING CALM DOWN IF THEY AREN'T THAT BAD THEN THEY WILL CALL ME IF THEY ARE ASSHOLES THEY NEED AT LEAST MAKE A FACTORY RESET AND DELETE ALL YOUR FILES
I CAN'T DO MORE THAN THIS SO FUCKING SHUT UP AND DON'T LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT A FUCKING WAITING ROOM AND DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING ON THE FUCKING INTERNET ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK
Thanks know I can't concentrate anymore........5 -
1.
!dev
Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.
2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.
3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.
4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢
5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭21 -
You know what, fuck microshit to fuck town and back again.
What part of disabling "allow the computer to turn of this device to save power"
DO YOU NOT FUCKIJG UNDERSTAND!
MY FUCKING USB'S ARE GOING FUCKING MENTAL SWITCHING ON AND OFF LIKE A DRUNKEN HOBO YOU COCK FUCKS.
my week is a complete and utter shit of a week as it is, I don't need this bullshit on top of it too.
#Microsoft, fix your fucking shit already!4 -
!rant
!!pride
I tried finding a gem that would give me a nice, simple diff between two hashes, and also report any missing keys between them. (In an effort to reduce the ridiculous number of update api calls sent out at work.)
I found a few gems that give way too complicated diffs, and they're all several hundred lines long. One of them even writes the diff out in freaking html with colors and everything. it's crazy. Several of the simpler ones don't even support nesting, and another only diffs strings. I found a few possibly-okay choices, but their output is crazy long, and they are none too short, either.
Also, only a few of them support missing keys (since hashes in Ruby return `nil` by default for non-defined keys), which would lead to false negatives.
So... I wrote my own.
It supports diffing anything with anything else, and recurses into anything enumerable. It also supports missing keys/indexes, mixed n-level nesting, missing branches, nil vs "nil" with obvious output, comparing mixed types, empty objects, etc. Returns a simple [a,b] diff array for simple objects, or for nested objects: a flat hash with full paths (like "[key][subkey][12][sub-subkey]") as top-level keys and the diff arrays as values. Tiny output. Took 36 lines and a little over an hour.
I'm pretty happy with myself. 😁6 -
Task estimated for 2 days
*Half day later*
🤡 : Have you done it?
Me : No, I told you it would take 2 days
*Day later*
🤡 : Have you done it? Do you need any help?3 -
Woke up after a 2-3 hours nap at night just to have a career-panic and apply for all the jobs I'm overqualified for.
... Now I regret it.
😐7 -
!dev
I gave this damn fly three chances. Once, when it came into my room to leave on its own. Once when I captured it and let it go outside of my window. And once when I found it on one window, opened the other and shooed it with a shoe to leave.
And it came back.
And that was it. My mercy was over.
So I'm sorry it's dead now. It fought bravely. But nobody gets to live in my house without paying me rent or hugs.
RIP fly.
Also, fucks sake, it is the fly season again? Urghhhhh!11 -
Dev2: Do you get 49 errors in the console when you try to compile?
Dev1: (Getting 52 errors) No. Must be an issue with your machine.2 -
New format!!!
Junior: We have a problem
Senior: Well what is it you're working on? Maybe I can-
Junior: Nevermind, got it!
Senior: ...
Junior: ...17 -
Imagine naïvely treating your ONLY full-time employee like a robot that simply accomplishes tasks for you on a whim without even waiting for or even acknowledging their feedback (when that feedback has +10 years of experience of product development over you).
I wonder what it's like to operate at so idiotic a level on a day to day basis.
I don't care if you have all the fucking "vision" in the world, I'm actively searching for new positions, especially the ones that pay me double or triple what I'm earning now. I'm outta here, pronto tonto
Yeah, you founded a fucking company, been there, done that, 2 times even. just shut up6 -
Just do it!™️
For real.
Thinking about writing an app? just do it!
Thinking about creating a website? Just do it!
Thinking about the game? You just lost!7 -
That moment when... something finally works.
But you don't trust it.
So you pass it bad inputs to see if it's failing as it should.
7 -
Developers too lazy to google search/read the README.md yet too proud to admit their mistakes.
They create disasters that I need to clean up later because they took a vacation.
12 -
I tried to crochet a pusheen.
It didn’t turn out the way I envisioned. “Maybe googly eyes will help!”
…. I have had mixed comment on whether it makes it better or worse. 😅
7 -
Completely 100% not dev related.
But really I need the opinion of smarter people. Tell me how I don't make fun of the way people look, talk down on others regardless of <whatever>. Try to be as nice as possible to everyone, but the moment I say that I am not attracted to overweight people (women in my case since I am a heterosexual male) am I suddenly fatphobic and hate fat people. First of, phobia means fear, and I can assure people that fat people don't trigger any fear response from my end.
Nor do I disregard them as humans just cuz of them extra kilos. But suddenly because I explain how I can't be sexually attracted to someone that is overweight am I fatphobic?
This shit baffles me.52 -
Recently applied at a local company. Webform, "enter some details and we'll get back to you"-like.
Entered my details, hit submit, lo and behold "Error 503 - something went wrong on our end".
I was just baffled. It's a well-established IT company and they can't even get their application form to work?
So I'm sitting there in the debugger console, monitoring network stuff to see if anything is weird. I obviously hit submit some several more times during that.
Eventually I give up.
In the night my phone wakes me up with a shitton of "we've received your application and will review it..." emails.
Yeah they didn't get back to me.2 -
Beginners be like, "First rule of programming, If it works don't touch it". But experts will be like "Why does it work?". That's why they are called experts.10
-
Why is it so hard to read a 15 pages paper or article? I read hundreds of fiction pages or news in a day, but reading 100 lines of a scientific paper is a pain in the arse and I lose concentration by line 3.
Fak.9 -
I got a "Revise and Resubmit" response from the journal. Reviewer #1 wanted me to implement some baselines to compare against my method and he cited 6 papers. 5 of them did not have open-source code, and it's not like you can re-implement, train models and fine-tune someone else's approach in 2 weeks. The last one had code, for Ubuntu 14 (may its soul rest in peace), OpenCV version from the time America and Europa were connected and CUDA toolkit that was carved in stone in a cave.
I was bawling my eyes out, thinking about how many days it would take trying to Docker it to work. But then I realized the approach he cited was for RGB-D data, while I only use RGB camera. That's like letting a sniper with an M82 compete in archery....6 -
Why I love Salesforce 👀
- Run a test method
- failure: no field found
- checks test, queries field
- checks field security (access permissions) visible to user
- runs test again
- failure: no field found
- adds debug log of queried field
- runs test again
- succes
Thanks, thanks for fucking with me today 🥲6 -
There are lots of words in this jira ticket. All real words that make sense on their own. However, put together, they are completely fucking meaningless. Now my brain hurts!!!2
-
After days of trying I finally got Vulkan to render something and I regret it I absolutely regret it
5 -
Monday morning: The last straw.
After talking about in a previous rant about how my client wants to fix bugs that keeps popping out after bug fix.
Today I discovered, that all C-levels, worked all Saturday to "fix my code" because it "didn't work" and we "needed bug fixes not pretty things".
The app version I was working on for the last week is gone. Without mentioning that their "CTO" wrote a fucking crappy code to disable features that I added, breaking the build step.
This shit is enough for me, I'm done!3 -
Freak yeah!!! Just installed my first SSL Certificate on my Ubuntu Server!!!!! 🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾🤘🏾 First time I had my IT friend do it. I thought about contacting him again, but then thought, what the hell, let's give 'er a shot. 2 days and a whole lot of anger and frustration later https:// is a green light!!! 😝😝😝😝😝😝😝14
-
<...in the style of linkin park's in the end...>
I DOCUMENTED SO HARD, AND MADE SO MANY TICKETS!!!
BUT IN THE END, NOBODY REALLY READS THEM!!!
I HAD TO DEV!!! AND BUILD IT ALL!!!
BUT IN THE END, IT FEELS LIKE I'M TALKING TO A BRICK WALL!!!!
rhymes are lazy / nonexistent, I know, but my rage is superseding my ability to rhyme right now.3 -
Job posting: "we require 1.5 years of experience in iOS development"
Also job posting: *doesn't mention a requirement for a degree*
Me: "Cool, this looks exactly like a job for me, I'll send them my résumé!
Recruiter returns to me a day after with this:
"You said you have no work experience, we said in the posting that you need to have 1.5 years of work experience"
THE JOB POSTING DOES NOT MENTION THIS ANYWHERE, THEY ONLY MENTION EXPERIENCE IN IOS DEVELOPMENT
WHY MAKE IT SO AMBIGUOUS AND THEN CHANGE YOUR STANCE
When I finally get a fucking response from a recruiter after sending my résumé to dozens upon dozens of companies, it's a bullshit response.
FUCK YOU.
Note: I am aware of the massive amount of AltRant crashes, I am sorry for making it worse. I need to work on 2 more major final tests that I must pass, but I think I will start fixing some of the crashes today.56 -
Just startup stories:
Our backlog of tasks and bugs has officially reached 100+ tickets, all for me, the single software engineer at our "tech" company.
Huh, imagine that.4 -
Yeah well fuck right off then. I'm just going to build a bot to auto signup for every possible username combination left in the latin alphabet. Then after the media bullshit dies down they'll be changing this policy.
👺
22 -
As a software engineer, I’ve only *ever* worked remotely. I honestly have no idea what it’s like working in an office as a dev/engineer. Probably makes me weird. 😅
What did you like about working in an office, if you’ve had that experience? Was mentoring different? What did you dislike about it?29 -
!rant
Today is a happy day.
I just got a job to finance my last year of studies as a frontend dev for two months this summer.
I'll be working as an intern and won't get paid much, but it's still tremendously more than I would've ever made with any other shitty student job.
Best thing is that my best friend works at the same company and we'll be seated next to each other (he also convinced the HR to invite me to the interview, woul've been rejected right away without him).
So basically I am a lucky bastard and they even told me that if I'm doing well they wouldn't hesitate to hire me after my studies if I'd still be interested in a year ❤️
What I'm missing most as a student is to work in front of a computer 8 hours a day. This will be a welcome change and a nice addition to my CV.
Wish me luck! Starting right after my final exams on the 16th 😎
3 -
!rant
It's funny to consider that my previous rant (https://devrant.com/rants/4510906/...) before I stopped checking this platform as regularly was about what the perfect job would look like to me
…
Because I just landed it today, people!
Signed with a very chill, medium sized, local dev company that appreciates me as much as I do appreciate them. Starting next month I won't be just a random intern (although they never treated me as such anyway) anymore but a professional developer, with even a slightly more important pay than what you (at least I)'d expect for a junior
Adios annoying courses and mediocre marks, now the fun begins!14 -
I am currently under a desperate crunch at work, trying to get things wrapped up before my honeymoon.
Of course, this is when My Greatest User decides he will come to my office no fewer than five times today. Not once was it for an actual, legitimate issue that he had not created himself. Here were the top three for today:
#3
MGU: "The scroll wheel on my mouse isn't working. I used to be able to scroll stuff with it but now I can't."
ME: *Looks at his mouse. All looks well.*
ME: "Show me what you're trying to do."
MGU: "I'm trying to scroll this Word document. See? It won't scroll!"
ME: ..."That's because there is nothing to scroll... The entire document is on your screen..."
#2
MGU: "I can't move my mouse off the edge of my screen! I used to be able to move it from my monitor to my laptop screen and I can't do it anymore!"
ME: "Did you move your laptop?"
MGU: "Yeah I moved it to the other side of the monitor. That shouldn't make a difference, should it?"
#1
MGU: "You know the DOS commands?"
ME: *Does a triple take.* ... ... "Huh?"
MGU: "The DOS commands. You know how you can use DOS commands to make the computer do stuff. Like Ctrl+M."
ME: "Ah. You're talking about keyboard shortcuts."
MGU (ignoring me): *Goes on a long, confusing explanation of something he's trying to do in Outlook and wants to know a keyboard shortcut for instead of clicking.*
ME: "I don't know what the shortcut for that would be and honestly I don't have time to look right now. I really need to keep working on this project."
MGU: "You don't know?"
ME: "Nope."
MGU: "Oh... I'd have thought that with being a programmer you'd have gotten into the DOS commands."
I have never been so tempted to quit. -
Nearly 30 days into my new job. Haven't done any coding.
Just a lot of paper pushing and meeting scheduling.
What do?9 -
Do you also feel dirty when a client asks for something that completely defats the purpose of the main feature?
yet you "patch " it because "it's a big client after all" and they can't be bothered to do a simple two number addition.
6 -
"I need the login credentials for the CMS service"
*sends the email confirmation email*
"No, I can't confirm your email for you. In plain English: send me the email and password to login."
"Ohhhhhhhhh"
Literally what the fuck is wrong with these people.
I swear we're all fucking doomed.5 -
Atlasssian Bitbucket has broken umlauts since version 8.0 ...
https://jira.atlassian.com/browse/...
Ladies and gentleman,
it's the year 2022.
In the internet, dat "Neuland" as Mama Merkel used to say, Atlassian managed to revert back to the good old times of ASCII.
Who needs proper multibyte charset support anyway?
Just display broken shit - as broken as the quality management of that misanthropic chum bucket company called Atlassian.
Oh and the last upgrade to Confluence broke, too.
Was just very needed because of an remote code execution.
Cause you know the usual deal. Oops zero exploit, let's make it public, telling our customers that in cloud their data is safe, otherwise they need to shut off their instances or pray that they have a WAF that can filter strings...
What broke you might ask?
Unique constraint in database, the migration wizard loved to add few extra rows, solution was to fry the rows while instance running, followed by immediate cache drop, otherwise fun started again.
I hate Atlassian.4 -
Submitted a ticket to the 3rd party IT provider today. Just like they always do they close the ticket instantly saying they did the work when they didn’t do anything.
Except this time they went one step further. They documented that they had a conversation with me and that they convinced me that I didn’t need the work done.
No such conversation occurred. I have not changed my mind nor have been given any reason to. They just want their ticket times to appear as fast as possible and are willing to lie through their teeth to achieve that.
Prepare for a shit storm motherfuckers.2 -
Knitting. It's absurd how technical a skill it is, and I definitely didn't realise that when I learned it!3
-
SINGLE
RESPONSIBILITY
FUNCTIONS
HOLY GARBAGE UNTESTABLE DIFFICULT TO DEBUG JFC SHIT.
FUNCTIONS DO ONE THING AND DO ONE THING WELL. LEARN IT, LIVE IT, LOVE IT, OR JUMP INTO A LAKE
that is all.5 -
Solution for all the problems... Even global warming
Have you tried turning it off and on again...!?? 😌
2 -
Managers don't understand that there will ALWAYS be bugs shipped to production, no matter how hard you try to prevent or test against them.
Devs: lol
inb4 any comments really, i've seen facebook, instagram, and all the 'big players' crash and have bugs multiple times before, so don't go around swinging your dick like your company's software has no known bugs (don't even get me started on the devrant mobile app) I'm just saying bugs are a fact of software8 -
"This page looks better in the app"
No, it f**king doesn't! I checked it, you lazy analytics-hungry monstrosity.1 -
I hate when I’m telling a story about something that happened that frustrated me and then the person I’m speaking to interrupts to say “I don’t know why you’re taking it out on *me*” and I’m like “I’m not, I’m just telling you the …” “You’re shouting at me!” “I fucking WASN’T [BUT I AM NOW]” and then I can’t finish my goddamn rant and instead of getting the goddamned thing out of my system I’m just fucking frustrated and seething.5
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Panicking awake a minute before the 7:00 am alarm thinking you overslept, knowing you have an 8 am meeting and that you need to make sure you’re fully conscious for it which means taking your ADHD meds ASAP and not getting distracted for an hour as per the usual.
Then getting a message at 7:13 that the meeting is going to be repurposed and your attendance is no longer necessary. 🙃1 -
If Java versions can coexist on a system
If all java versions have their own packages on the AUR
If you can change envvars in a launch script and be sure that all processes of the application will persist your settings
Then why THE FUCK do package maintainers keep announcing to change the default java version to install their package, rather than explicitly doing that by themselves? Fuck off, do you really think yours is the only package that needs a specific Java version? Do you think each and every user will write their own init script, or edit the PKGBUILD to include the new version as an envvar in the desktop file? This is why Arch has a bad name, and they're fucking right. If you don't have the time to put a single motherfucking diff in the motherfucking pkgbuild to specify the java version in the desktop file, then don't fucking maintain the package. I know there are too few maintainers, but pretending to maintain a package while doing fuckall is much worse than leaving it unmaintained on the AUR so the first person who has time can pick it up.1 -
Finally figured out that 500.30 error.
You won't believe it, but y'all probably will... But I solved my problem by fixing literally one line of code.
This of course pissed me off because this problem persisted for an entire week, even my supervisor could not figure it out.
But I learned so much in failing to find it and making wrong assumptions along the way.
Solving a problem is sometimes just half the battle, the journey along the way counts for something.
My supervisor was super impressed too, so that made me even more happy.
Anyways onto the next problem. 🤪6 -
Me: I just know there's gotta be a better way to do this.
PM: No I think it's just a problem of inexperience. You and $coworker just haven't spent enough time in WordPress.
Me: no you're right. I'm just trying to get a better handle on the code and make things as less error prone as possible.
PM: well we really don't have very many errors.
Me: wait, what about the (list off other issues)?
PM: those all have been resolved already.
Me: Oh. Ok. I guess it's just me.
PM: See, I make changes and nothing breaks. You guys just need to continue working on this.
Me: ... 🤨
Me: (weird flex but ok) hey! Look at this guy over here!
PM: (Laughs)3 -
Got that old mid 2011 MBA and just put Ubuntu 20.04 on it. Tried 18 on it before but didn't really feel right. 20 works great though.
I love it when I can reuse old hardware I have laying around and it works out of the box.😁
Will use it for entertainment purposes, movies, music etc.2 -
wtf!! That stupid piece of @#$@#$, how does it even work for anybody. EVER. Bundle it in a container, make sure it's ephemeral. Yerterday it worked, and today it fucking does whatever it wants@!!! That fuking fucktard piece of shit!!
Fuck it. Fuck all of it.
It must be a fault in my RAM or something. I mean, nothing has changed since yesterday. I could run the appp in the container yžday ez, and today -- it gives me a finger, completely ignoring my parameters!! Asshole!!!!7 -
"Please move the logo left. The text goes a bit under."
Do you guys think people realize how unclear they are, and are just too fucking lazy to write the full spec? Or are they just so fucking stupid they don't realize I literally have no fucking clue what to do exactly with comments like these?
I guess Hanlon's razor applies here, but some days I just don't know...
Happy Friday! ☠️3 -
-- Best --
> Submitted my notice of termination for my current job
> Found a new job starting next year
> Can switch from Windows to Linux/MacOS in new job
> Got more time to work on personal projects due to the pandemic
-- Worst --
> Huge amount of software restrictions (current job) almost got several projects at work canceled. Maybe its important to say that the core business of my current workplace is auditing so there are a lot of law regulations which then apply in the softwaredevelopment process.
> New managers that do not have the slightest clue of what they're doing
> Online Teambuilding events
> Absurd amount of segmentation of tools and also different coding guidelines that are used at work. E.g. one team uses jira, another trello, another github issue tracker and so on. -
When you mumble to yourself 'I don't get it' because you don't get why it fails, and it fails because you didn't use the get function, than you where suprisingly right, but you didn't got it.4
-
Doctor: "I have some news about your baby."
Parents: "Don't tell us the gender, we want to keep it a surprise."
Doctor: "Oh I get it, you're those type of people. Okay, well IT is not breathing."4 -
What historical trends look more ridiculous now than short-form video will look in a few decades?12
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Recruiter bot just emailed me with some offers, let's take a look...
"Hand-on Experience with SQL and NO-SQL Databases preferably Redux"
Whew! I was worried for a second, thank god they are using a Redux database and not one of those really crappy React databases! I'll really consider applying now.
smh2 -
Just lost hours of work because the winforms designer decided to send half my elements to (11, -8000) and resize others to (0,0). No matter what I did, there was no moving them back. And every change I made was reverted by some unknown mechanism.
Thankfully, I still have the user controls I built. But I still have to rewire 3k lines worth of form events.1 -
These 🤡clowns🤡 are so dependent on me and I'm just sick of it, not to mention I simply don't have the time.1
-
Whoever said that "The IT Crowd" is a good TV Series...
WTF?
It's so... lame.... Are all the British comedies like that?26 -
Python be like:
TypeError: 'callable_iterator' object is not callable
and also:
TypeError 'callable_iterator' object is not subscriptable
Why the fuck did you name it "callable iterator" if you can't call it, or iterate it.4 -
what is with this android wifi toggle.
sometimes it disconnects and as I'm watching for it to connect, nothing happens.
And just as I press toggle off, it shows connecting.
Frrrr.1 -
A YouTube creator I follow included a clip of The Chicken Song by Spitting Image in a video. I had managed to, for over a decade, forget this song existed.
Now it’s back.
To haunt my every moment of silence.
Again.
😭6 -
FUCK YOU PHP, FUCK YOU SYMFONY AND DEFINITELY FUCK YOU SHOPWARE.
Don't get me wrong, PHP has evolved a lot, but the stuff people are building with it is just the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen: Shopware. Shopware is the most ass-sucking abomination to extend. It's nearly impossible to develop anything beyond "use the standard features and shut the fuck up" that is more sophisticated than a fucking calculator.
The architecture of this pile of crap is the worst bullshit ever. A mix of OOP, randomly making use of non OOP concepts and features together with the unnecessarily HUGE amount of useless interfaces and classes. Sometimes I feel like it's 90% fucking shitty boilerplate shit.
And don't get me started with TWIG. It's a nice thought, but WHY THE BLOODY FUCK WOULD YOU NOT USE VUE IF YOU ARE ALREADY USING IT FOR A DIFFERENT PART OF SHOPWARE. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever and makes development of new features a huge pain in the ass. I can't comprehend how people actually like using this shit.
OH AND THE DATABASE. OH MY FUCKING GOD. This one is bad. Ever tried to figure anything out in a database where random strings (yes MySQL "relational" - you might think) that are stored as text in a JSON format make up some object or relations during runtime?? Why the fuck do you have foreign and primary keys if you don't use them properly??
Seriously you can't even figure out which data belongs to what because the architecture just sucks fucking ass. FUCK YOU Shopware wankers, you suck, your product sucks, your support sucks, your architecture sucks and you keep releasing new versions that regularly break shit even in minor versions.
I used to like PHP, but not in projects like these.6 -
Dude. Gimp sucks. I've been using it for about 10 years, and I really want it to be something it's just never going to be. It just sucks.7
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Everyone knows about the origins of the "metaverse" but everyone keep talking about it as it was something positive.3
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IT admins of devRant, explain my dumbass the following:
Why would an IT department put servers in a VPN without TLS.
They presume they don't need because muh-VPN.
And then they don't want to hand out VPN connections to anyone and force me to use Citrix RDP 🤡
I know there are security reasons, but is there not a better way? Like goteleport.com ?
Asking for a friend (or several)7 -
I look in the docs at the function send(..., copy=True, ...).
I want to understand what copy is for and I read the description of the parameter: "copy (bool) – Should the message be sent in a copying or non-copying manner."
BuT whAt DoES thAt MEAn ?!5 -
I dont like programming languages where "there is more than one way to do it".
There should be one way to do things, it makes it easy for developers to understand code others have written, it makes it easier to start working in new teams etc etc.23 -
Can we normalize NOT using giant acronyms in GitHub issue threads? Nobody understands what you are saying.
The same goes for you, HackerNews users, we can't psychically jump into your ASCII LOL DDD ABC XYZ brain and automatically know what you mean.8 -
Just learnt some new stuff today and I apologize to whoever is maintaining my spaghetti code.Just overhaul it buddy.
If it work don't touch it practice 🤠 -
TL;DR: don’t use Array.forEach use
for … of … instead.
Array.forEach is synchronous, but pass it an async function and the bastard does not await it.
I was so sure that it was sync….
Wasted 2h14 -
So I found put what is maladaptive daydream is. I always had it. Recently when I experienced it again, I tried to understand, and I got to a lot of things about it. Researches on handling it are very new and doesn't provide much support but I will deal with it. This podcast talks about it, I can relate to everything but the suicide part:
https://podcasts.google.com/feed/...
In short, when you daydream so much that you have very detailed daydreams and it interrupts your work, your relationships etc. that's when daydreaming becomes maladaptive. As so many people have it but it is not talked about it much, I wanted to put this post on.
I will try to control it with mindfulness and taking care of my body. I hope it will work.4 -
It’s taken me 20 years to realize that I love tech but hate corporate IT. The thought of spending another 20+ years sitting in meetings listening to people drone on about nonsense, spending countless hours performing system upgrades when all I want to do is code, etc. just makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the same day over and over again.2
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🎼Cu-cum-ber docs led me to beliiiiiiiiiiiieve
The exit flag was un-nec-e-ssaryyy
Thought I’d make a new branch
Remove it in CI
Let it run in Jenkins
That’s the reason for the never-ending teeeeest ruuuun 🎶
^to the tune of Neverending Story6 -
I have one Windows and one Apple M1 computer. Our project runs old docker containers and can't upgrade easily. I decided to run the x86 versions of containers on there and use them from my network. Corporate Windows has port blocking so I decided to install linux to a usb drive. I loaded a live install distro and installed it to a second USB drive.
The internal nvme laptop drive somehow had its partition table wiped along the way. I can see files on there in a partition restore tool but alas it isn't becoming bootable again from uefi after doing partition table restore. 😭7 -
Saying I have 6years or experience, is it when I started learning it or utilizing it in my projects??🤔5
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Client's IT department is fine about giving me a laptop for exclusive access to their VPN, security reasons, etc. Ok, fine I get it.
But they do not want to give me a Linux machine - only Windows!
How am I supposed to get shit done.11 -
- looking for a specific device in a single e-shop
- browse the listings of available SKUs
- find the one I want, buy it
And after I buy it, for some reason ad services think I need another one (or perhaps several other ones) from the same shop, as they keep showing me ads with the part I've purchased. And this goes on for weeks...
Talk about AI and clever advertising algorithms........5 -
I'm told when to finish. I flip a coin, if it's heads I honestly tell it's impossible and point out a realistic - unacceptable - deadline. If it's tails I take the blame. It doesn't matter really, we're running more than a year late now and the workforce is a single senior who was given a team of 3 relatively intelligent but already overworked high school students (including me) who try to help as much as we can.
-
anyone know anything about unity's "OnTriggeredEnter ( )?"
I've been messing with it for hours and I just can't figure it out...2 -
I hate systemd, i hate it. Which idiot wrote that piece of crap? And it isn't that easy to replace it when it is so embedded in the distro.
Its commands can't even output text normally, which should the absolute basic functionality of every program. And it does things automatically i didn't tell it to do, for example setting the system time to some random date instead of leaving it at 1970-01-01. -
I was browsing google news when i saw a new IDE similar to Visual Code, it is built based on rust, it starts with pcle or pcie i tried hard to find it but i lost it even my damn phone browser didn't save it in history, anyone knows what I'm talking about please 🥺 ?9
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I can build my .aab, upload it, have it approved, and release it on Google Play before my stupid .apk IS EVEN DONE PROCESSING ON APP STORE CONNECT
WHAT ARE YOU DOING APPLE FIX YOUR STUPID S3 BUCKET OR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BUILD THAT IT TAKES SO LONG TO EVEN GET IT IN TESTFLIGHT AAAAAAAAAA9 -
Is dark magic real?, if yes can science explain it?
Also, if science can explain it doesn’t that make it logical?15 -
Why the fuck do consultants / noob types LOVE using fucking props in react components. This app is complex, just make a fucking redux slice and use that. I'm not passing 23904 props to a component to get it to render. God13
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No...
I didn't spend the whole weekend (some 20 hours) wiping my server and setting it back up because it was a steaming pile of garbage...
then fucking it up again and redoing the whole process again....
.... and for good measure again because stupid me.....
GAAAAAAAAAAA
but at least it is working now :) -
Tried Lua for the first time in a while. Really didn't like how it handled chars/strings, that's about it.3
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To those working in the US as software engineers, is it worth it? Would you recommend it ? If not, why ? And did you live all your life in the US or are you coming from somewhere else ?2
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"S3 Intelligent-Tiering is designed for 99.9% availability and 99.999999999% durability."
I bet it is Amazon, I bet it is...2 -
Is it illegal to suck up all the water in the ocean and store it in a huge water bottle so I can sell it back to people?7
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I sadly don't remember who set this up and posted it on devRant (give me a distro) but it seems to be down :/
Would be glad to host it again if needed, I think it is a great idea. ^^
5 -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
Tonight I learned that none of our automatically installed systemd-based servers had the /etc/machine-id created, and that that file used to be pretty central in the systemd world.
So that was the warning at the beginning of the boot log about a missing /etc/machine-id! Though until today, everything still worked fine. Only today, the machinectl utility was unable to find the local machine with the machine id missing.
Oops? At least I'll have stuff to fix tomorrow lol.6 -
How is eclipse doing these days? I got frustrated with it 5 years ago and started using IntelliJ. Is it worth giving it one more try?4
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Unpopular opinion. IE6 stuck around for so long because it was the best browser in its time. It's horseshit today but only because that generation liked it so much they couldn't bring themselves to leave it.8
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VS Code terminal is so bad... it is basically the worst part of VS Code; the devs can never fix it
The terminal in VS Code breaks for me all the time; it is so easy to break it; all it takes is change the size of the terminal window and bam, it is broken
The devs should either fix their shitty terminal or remove it entirely because it confuses people; I literally see wrong output from my program because of their terminal1 -
Unit tests are like the second half of a watermelon. It exists, yet no one needs it.
You only need it if you're a misanthrope who wasn't invited when everyone else ate the first half.5 -
RDS Proxy is quickly becoming my least favourite AWS offering.
I ranted about it a while back because I had to abandon it for a project because it doesn’t support clusters very well (it only proxys to the primary node).
Well I tried to use it again for a different project with only a single RW instance. Surely it will be ideal?
Nope. It doesn’t support Postgres 13. Only goes up to 12.
What the hell Amazon?
pgbouncer it is I guess. -
Is it really good OpSec to log me out of outlook every hour when the password manager lets me automatically log back in?2
-
Who inside BitTitan is doing live testing on production? Would you kindly revert the changes and do testing on a test environment? I've seen the 4 changes so far and they clearly not working.
Please we need to finish this migration
2 -
I think I'll clearn and update my Server this weekend (since it's still on Debian 8).Wish me luck or dig my grave.
P.s.: Tips/suggestions/experiences are also very appreciated3 -
help! I can't do it with editors other than nvim. I have been spoiled.
Normal editors don't cut it anymore.1 -
Uh... What? This is for Live Transcribe... Why would I want to hide it?
Interestingly though, I now can't uninstall it... Maybe it became a system app with the last upgrade (Pixel phone)
3 -
After leaving my internship job to try out pre-med, getting to the end of pre-med, and studying for the MCAT for months, I am now getting married in May and looking for an apartment, so nixing the medical school idea...
Trying to get my old job back, was absolutely *lovely* to see that SCCM (the abusive father that it is, I knew how to work with him) is now getting discontinued? Man.
Might just bumrush these IT certs and see what happens. At least I know LaTeX now. -
Is it a job requirement for QA "engineers" to be like children? Because that's what it feels like.3
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I hate AudioContext. Visitors might like it since it does not permit websites to blast loud sounds. However, as a developer, I hate it. Before AudioContext existed everything was cool. Suddenly it appeared from nowhere. I had no clue that Chrome added it. Now my websites aren't as exciting at first glance anymore.
7 -
If the words “Mucmullan Cabbage” ring the bell, then whatever it is you need, I have it. Just contact me.
-
Which is the best way of building Mobile Developer profile 🧠😅and is it possible to impress ur recruiter with it..?
3 -
Do companies still use the Merise method? It seems a bit off to me.
I am learning it at school, but it makes many tables that I think could be merged into one...3 -
Nothing is as fucked up as it seems, you have this, you'll figure it out, if you can't fix it, scrap it, don't stress yourself out, it's not worth it etc.
Current boss is the best.. Helped me a bunch, not only with how to tackle coding but life in general.
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