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Search - "batman"
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I've always tried to live by the philosophy that you should never burn bridges, but my god some recruiters make it very difficult. I've had a handful of occasions where I've had to type out a nasty email to a recruiter and then just not send it after I realized I wouldn't want it getting around/you never know who they known.
The latest incident where I did this was with a recruiter who emailed me 3 times within a week. But my issue wasn't with the amount of emails or even the fact that he was shopping me frontend positions despite my resume clearly stating I'm a backend dev/data engineer.
My issue was... THE GUY FUCKING REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS "BATMAN". That's right - an adult human being so desperate to get the attention of developers that he set his email name to "Batman", signs his emails "Full name - A.K.A. Batman", and lists his phone number like "BatPhone: xxx.xxx.xxxx"
If I didn't find him so pretentious and he actually sent me a kind of relevant position, what would I do? Pick up the phone and call him and say "hey Batman." Jesus fucking Christ. What an absurd gimmick. Maybe I'm overreacting but it seems so childish.
And you know what, if the guy read my resume and sent me relevant stuff I probably would have said "meh, he's doing good work, if he wants to stand out/be silly whatever." But no, he didn't even look at my skills. Instead he thought 3 shitty emails where he called himself Batman would convince me to write back to him.
I was close to sending him a ridiculous response and signing it "Robin", but decided it wasn't worth it.29 -
CLASSIC: when there is a big emergency at the office everyone is going crazy and looking for you even under the rocks and you show up at the office 😎😏3
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I have my own secret script hidden in a /batcave dir on the production servers. It fixes everything the other devs usually manage to screw up.
I call it Batman.bat2 -
PRANK
I remember this one time when I tried to prank my friend's laptop and it went horribly wrong
So at first when I got a hold of his laptop I changed his background to Batman and every icon to batman and all the names of his icons on the desktop to "NA", "NANANA", so on so forth
I thought he'd get the joke. But little did I know that the next time I'd meet him he told me that he reformated his laptop because of a virus that made his whole laptop go batman 😱😱.
After that I never told him about the prank I made. I feel so ashamed hahaha3 -
Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Don't push to prod today!
But if you do,
Make sure you
Test it all the way!
Happy holidays, y'all!4 -
NaNaNaNaNaNaN BATMAN!
Found in one of our internal version control tools today. The Dark Knight is among us.3 -
!dev
The moment I saw a bird laying on the balcony, unresponsive, I dropped everything.
The balcony has glass walls, which the bird hit pretty hard against. It (I don't know the gender) was disoriented, shaking, and totally out of it.
It was almost night, and I can feel a few drops of rain, a sign of, well, more rain.
So I took it in, did some research, left it inside a quiet dark box with a heating mat on the bottom. It slowly calmed down. We slept overnight, listening to the rain outside, thinking about what would've happened if the bird hit, let's say, somewhere else.
It would've not have any help, or care whatsoever. It would die slowly, having a concussion and oh my gosh my efforts doesn't matter anyway this is the way of life there are bird striking windows everyday and I can't help it Holy noodles I should remove windows from every computer in the house...
I was like this the entire night.
The next morning I discovered that the bird was awake, but something was wrong. The bird was still disoriented. Then I discovered something. Gosh, how did I miss it?
The left eye was completely swollen, which had caused the imbalanced walk, which means that it could not fly.
(*Rapidly typing on phone*) come on where is the nearest wildlife rehabilitation centre....
Initially I thought that the bird just needed to recover, I was wrong. It needs professional help ASAP.
To the SUV! (https://myinstants.com/instant/...)
We went to the other corner of the town. Seriously, we were at the southeast part of town, and we have to drive to the northwest.
It took 15 minutes, but we finally got there. I dropped it off and got home. I will never see that bird again in my entire life.
I don't know what will happen to it.
Good luck out there, little bird.
So... That was my weekend. Here comes Monday...7 -
Rubber duck debugging - Batman style!
Gonna be necessary today I guess, but always keep in mind when you feel desperate while debugging: The night is darkest just before the dawn!6 -
Fun fact: the cape of the Batman in the arkham game series was the responsibility of one guy, and it took him 2 years to provide the perfect flexibility, fluidity and strectchibility to it for the final installment of the game arkham knight.4
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I taught my 9yo sister to SSH from my Arch Linux system to an Ubuntu system, she was amazed to see terminal and Firefox launching remotely. Next I taught her to murder and eat all the memory (I love Linux, as Batman, one should also know the weaknesses). Now she can rm rf / --no-preserve-root and the forkbomb. She's amazed at the power of one liners. Will be teaching her python as she grew fond of my Raspberry Pi zero w with blinkt and phat DAC, making rainbows and playing songs via mpg123.
I made her use play with Makey Makey when it first came out but it isn't as interesting. Drop your suggestions which could be good for her learning phase?13 -
Thinking about this makes me pull my fucking hairs.
The fact that I have to look for the actual content in a website, among all the ads, prompts and fucking stupid design is fucking ridiculous.
Every fucking website is following this designs now. Always showing popups to subscribe to their fucking newsletter the moments you visit the site.
Can you please let me fucking read the content I require first?
"No fucking way. I will block 80% of the viewport with unnecessary stuff. I will place my ads on the left and right side. On the bottom, I will have a blocking div that will prompt you to subscribe to our newsletter. And on the top, we will have this huge fucking navbar which will take 30% of the view. That 20% area left in the middle? yeah, good luck on finding something useful in there"
Then there are this fucking cunts, that blocks the whole website the moment you enter.
"Oh, you need some information, right? Why not just subscribe to our emails first so that we can send your useless junks every now and then".
Oh my fucking batman, don't even remind me of those stupidass videos. Now 90% of the popular website will play a video immediately after you enter the website.
And guess what?! The volume will be amplified to 500% so that that's the sound you will ever hear in your lifetime.
The fucking web is becoming absolute shite right now. We really need a revolution here which makes the websites show the appropriate amount of ads and prevents them from doing all these stupids shits.5 -
One of our dev teams has a tradition: after each post-sprint review one of the devs tells a wood joke. The lamer, the better.
So far the winner is:
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car?
A: Robin, get in the car
It's so dumb it's actually somehow even funny :)31 -
*pulls down Android notifications*
*Scrolls through ≈ virtual 70 cm of devRant notifs*
Anyone else think devRant should have a setting to enable for merging all notifications into one notification card linking to notifs Activity that has running totals of ++s and comments?10 -
Riddle me this Batman, why am I constantly afraid that other developers are going to fuck up my work after my time on the codebase?13
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Hey y'all! It's been a while since I logged in.
But I'm back with a dev jingle, just like last year:
Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Look how my code compiles,
Oh what fun, it is to see,
No reds in my console!16 -
OH MY FUCKING BATMAN, WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS WEBSITE SHOWS ME A POPUP WHEN I HAVEN@T EVENT FINISHED READING THE FUCKING ARTICLE. FUUUUUUUUU1
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Before devRant was a thing, I always had a feeling most developers use Mac machines. Seems like I was wrong seeing all these setup posts.7
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So today I got an email about a job opportunity. The email was in romainian. This is the exact translation and bear in mind that in romanian as in every other language (I guess) alot of english phrases sound very cringy. This is the email:
We need a fearless hero for the IT realm!
X company, a thriving insurance community, is looking for a real hero of software development that can make code using the .NET mystical hammer that can only be lifted by a worthy, deserving and responsible warrior.
You can't fly? Can't shoot lasers? You are not wasting your night time by looking at the moon on tall blocks wearing a cape? Then you could be the hero we need.
Do not worry, the position does not imply superhuman strength :)) However, it requires intellectual strength and attention to detail. You can even use your powers from a comfortable chair in a welcoming team full of other heroes ready to help you. We won't leave you alone, after all even Batman has Robin :))
I have attached all the information you need. Only The Chosen One can open the document so you will know immediately if you are right. :))
If you want to be responsible with your strength, then I'm waiting for your updated English resume with all your heroic deeds in the past.
Remember, not all heroes wear capes!
... WHAT THE FUCK IS .NET MYSTICAL HAMMER??? AND WHO THE FUCK USES ":))" IN AN EMAIL??7 -
Hey guys, remember my batman pen ...is one of the picked pens at codepen io home page...feeling excited 😀😀😍
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Some fun facts :
☻ Programmers spend approximately 30% of the time surfing the source code 😁
☻ Progress in programming can be classified into 4 stages:
(a). Complex Programming
(b). Making Progress
(c). Slow Progress
(d). Stuck
☻ Programmers have a tendency to report their problems incompletely
☻ The main error messages, execution times and runtime compilation errors and the average time to solve them
☻ The software maintenance consumes more than 50% of the effort
☻ Ctrl C, Ctrl V, and Ctrl-Z have saved more lives than Batman tbh😇3 -
Underrated pleasure... Listening to Hans Zimmer (preferably the Batman v Superman soundtrack) and coding. Even a Hello World code will seem like a blueprint to world war33
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Hey guys just completed my second pen at codepenio ...went a little side track from the course and wanted to know what I'm capable of doing now with HTML and CSS... Here is the result..any kind of critisim is appericated https://codepen.io/imshubhamsingh/...6
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Phone call with customers and their minutes-of-meeting writer.
Me: Blabla round robin algorithm.
Customer's MoM writer: What? How do you spell "robin"?
Me: Robin like in Batman.
Customer's MoM writer: Ah, ok.5 -
Holy moved notifications, Batman! I like it, but boy was I confused when my hamburger didn't have lettuce on it.2
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Oh, the requirements completely changed? That's cool. I'll just place all my work over here in this pile with the Sega Saturn, zune, and the batman vs superman movie... you know the "it could have been glorious, but it turned out to be complete garbage" pile
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If Batman was a full time programmer in Dark Knight, "Bugs are not complicated, Alfred. Just need to figure out why they're after" 😂
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Front-End / Frontend / Front End?
Spider-Man / Batman / Iron Man?
The way you type the word frontend is subconsciously chosen by your superhero.8 -
Did you ever had issues with non working usb devices on Linux? I had today and after some search I probably found the solution. But I at first couldn't believe it. Then all the guys in the comments went Batman.2
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Old but gold - try this in the Dev Tools Console and see Batman in action:
Array(16).join("lol" - 2) + " Batman!";1 -
I teach app development over the summer, and the great thing about working with kids and having the last name Wayne is that I can very easily have them refer to me as Batman. I've never felt so cool.
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I wonder which programming language does Batman use given that he has all the sophisticated techs and gadgets.8
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The more i work dev stuff in web3 the more i realize how cancerous this space is. Shits terrible over here. Not only is it extremely difficult to program but the biggest.... Idk whats the best word to use, irritating? Annoying? Stressing? Degenerate? Biggest shit thats happening are scams scams and fucking scams. Honestly you never know who's legit and who's about to scam
A 16 year old kid rug pulled 6 nft collections and stole over 10 million dollars so far. He's even arguing on twitter publicly claiming he's the Batman
People are robbing everyone for millions of dollars
You've probably heard about Luna ponzi scheme that collapsed and the founder stole BILLIONS of dollars
And the worst part about all of this:
THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES! WTF?
So why the fuck should i work a job and try to be legit if i can scam degenerates for millions of dollars because there are no consequences??3 -
"Our Data Service comes PRE-P0WN'D"
Those SHIT-FOR-BRAINS data service providers GLOAT that their data can be natively integrated into most BI platforms, no code required.
How? Because they will EXPOSE THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING ON THE INTERNET.
LITERALLY.
UNAUTHENTICATED URL WITH THE ENTIRE DATASET.
STATIC. WON'T EVER FUCKING CHANGE.
NO VPN REQUIRED. NO AUTHENTICATION HEADERS. NO IN-TRANSIT ENCRYPTION.
"It is safe! No one will know the secret token that is a parameter in the url"
BLOODY BYTE BUTTS, BATMAN! IT IS A FUCKING UNAUTHENTICATED URL THAT DOES NOT REQUIRES RENEWAL NOR A VPN, IT WILL LEAK EVENTUALLY!
That is the single fucking worst SELF-P0WN I have ever seen.
Now I know why there are fucking toddlers "hacking" large scale databases all over the globe.
Because there are plenty of data service providers that are FUCKING N00BS.4 -
I hacked my friend's laptop when i was 12. Entered the password as BATMAN because his lockscreen wallpaper was BATMAN😅😂😂3
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Why does almost everyone posting their setup have just HTML on their monitors. Is that all we have here :P?4
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I was told a few times how Musk was a bit of a super villain. And while yes he kind a fits the batman rule of super villain, the ones i‘d trust less are the quieter ones.
Yes Jeff Besos is actually the real super villain. He speaks less, working conditions seem quite draconian and more importantly, you have to be an asshole on yhe business world and he is one of the best.3 -
"I have been devRanting a lot today." Damn, 'devRanting' is already a word between me and my friends.
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Light Ide:- GRHH!! M hurt! M hurt! My life is nothing...M a noob...
Dark ide:- woaahh!! Pleasant! M a pro coder3 -
Im very very pleasantly surprised at my current job. They treat me like a God (that i am anyways). Free food free luxury hotel with spa gym and sauna. Free drinks free restaurants free trips free tickets. Free travel. I get everything and even an increased salary. I literally have nothing to complain anymore. For each time i complain i also have to admit honestly a well done for this company. I thought all of them are evil corps slaving people and treating them like shit which is why i wanted to become the shittiest darkest boss of ur nightmares. But seeing that some companies actually treat ppl with respect is new to me. Its irregular. Its odd. Almost too good to be true. it makes me reconsider to not be a nightmare boss and follow their steps instead. Only 1 Batman is enough to defeat evil instead of letting the evil infect good ppl like b2plane. Although im a shitmonster i am also like a bee; i sting only if i get stung first. The way how i get treated is exactly how i will treat others9
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Jeffrey Epstein is a hero and a genius.
...
1) He created an island for pedophiles
2) Little do those pedophiles know, the island is a honeypot
3) He targeted kiddie fuckers but not any, only the most extremely wealthy ones
4) He milked millions of dollars off them for a chance to stretch a fresh virgin pussy
5) He then recorded them secretly while they were fucking those kids, but Epstein was nowhere seen on those videos
6) He blackmailed them to release those videos in case he gets killed or bribed or any way gets turned against him
7) Epstein gets killed (no he didnt kill himself), and now the Epstein list of child fuckers gets released somehow to the public
8) Bill Clinton, Prince Adrew, Richard Branson gangfucked kiddies and Epstein recorded them secretly -- now theres a footage of that orgy floating around on the internet, as of latest news 1 hour ago
9) Richard Branson -- the founder of VIRGIN media... Come on? Truth hidden in plain sight. Right in front of our fucking eyes. Guy literally became a billionaire by fucking children and laundering that money through LLC company "VIRGIN" media. Why VIRGIN? Because the kiddies he fucked were virgins
---
If Epstein didnt do this then someone else would do it and NOT record anything.
Epstein, although still evil, opened the eyes of the world.
Epstein is Batman.11 -
(Spoilers about Ready Player one here)
FUCK YEAH!
I watched Ready Player One in 4DX AND IT COSTED AN UNHOLY FUCKING AMOUNT OF MONEY!
yet it was THE BEST MOVIE Ive ever watched, AND I MEAN IT! IT WAS SO FUCKING GREAT! THE CGI THE ACTORS!
STEVEN DID AN EXCELLENT JOB!
and as a Trekkie I LOVED the scene of Hallidays death I mean his coffin WAS A FUCKING PHOTON TORPEDO! and in the Last scene you could see a bat'leth HOW HOW COOL WAS THAT!
And dont get me started on all the other References like the Holy Handgranade, Rubiks Cube, FUCKING BATMAN HELPING SOMEONE CLIMBING, Minecraft OASIS edition, Halo... I CANT ITS TOO MUCH!1 -
We can do what your saying in a week and spend the following two months redoing it, or, we can help you get your shit straight for a week and do it right in a week. So, 9 weeks versus a two week sprint. Your call Batman. I really don’t care anymore. It’s the holidays, it’s cold, and money is a great fire starter.
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*coding while day* "no motivation not inspiration.. need more coffee" && *coding while night* "I can see the matrix and bend it to my will"
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the universe of Amazon
here meet the team avengers.. united with batman and superman. somebody tell this seller to cross check ©2 -
One day I had to work from my parent's home as I went to visit them on a week day. I was working on the living room. One moment my mum comes to me and says: "They are paying you all that money for doing THIS all day long? I wouldn't give you $20/month for that." We both laugh. 😂😂2
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!dev
Since Robert Patterson will be the next Batman, why not cast Taylor Lautner as Jason Todd, Kristen Stewart as Barbara Gordon and Billy Burke as Jim Gordon.
If you do this, you better go the whole nine yards.2 -
I used to love the hero treatment I got long ago in my previous company. Appreciations and what not for conducting events, contributing to open source. I think I burned out later. Later the hero treatment stopped there and I craved for it when I wasn't doing the stuff I used to do - basically I was previously keeping others happy I guess, instead of keeping myself happy. Contributing to open source or conducting events was not even part of the day job and was mostly considered outside the working hours and hence one had to stretch to do all that extra stuff. I over did stuff I guess and burned out
In my current company, I see heros and appreciations so much for contributing to open source though not all our roles are completely defined as open source roles and we instead have to work on closed source or yet to be open sourced stuff. My role is contributing a very tiiiiiny testing bit in an yet to be open sourced project, but a few other colleagues of mine work on closed source paid advanced version of the open source core project
Seeing all the hero treatment where I'm not the hero and seeing all the appreciation, I wonder how it doesn't seem right. Surely I'm jealous, lol. But I also felt the treatment also shows some sort of Special treatment for some people. It's "Special" and not exactly for all and only for open source contributors or people doing all the popularly so called as "cool" stuff. Fortunately for them their job role kinda mentions that I believe. And people working on closed source are now trying to contribute there. I'm stuck with some of my main day job work and dying in guilt for burning out, and not being able to contribute to open source and also kind of starting to hate open source for it's dark sides. Reminds me Batman dialogue "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.". Open Source dark sides - of course the possibile dark sides of companies funding open source, the people behind the companies and also of course my company being one of them possibly, though if you ask anyone they say "Community comes first". That's full of lies is what I would say.
Inclusivity gets thrown out the window. Heroes get to talk. Heroes get worshipped. Others are not even noticed I think. I guess the only way to get noticed is to imitate the heroes
At some point I realized I'm envying or idolizing a crazy set of people, or like putting them on a pedestal. I'm trying to fix that in my head. But oh my, you should see all the treatment, the respect, etc. Surely some people just are there to do meh or grunt work or even good work or whatever without much appreciation, and then have to move on. No respect or consideration for opinions, thoughts usually. Some of them don't even have the time to care to check what people have to say. Top down hierarchy but they say it's flat hierarchy. They don't even wanna listen to some of us I think, that is during team meetings. Only very few care from what I have noticed
One good thing is I have to come to realize how much I'm like them in some behaviours and feeling damn guilty. I sometimes spend time thinking how to change myself for the long term. And how to avoid the toxic behaviors in the team and also control my anger and control my response to their behaviours. I'm also trying to understand where I'm climbing the ladder with my assumptions and also trying to see the "real" thing instead of assuming or being blind or imagining etc. But it has become so hard because idk if people are faking it, it's become very hard to always assume people are telling the truth 🙈 though it makes to assume or believe that by default. If people are okay with themselves lying, who am I question that huh1 -
After nearly four days of fighting with Ruby, Gem, Bundle and a dash of JRuby just to make a plugin for logstash install, I can officially say I feel like Ken Mattingly.
It is all about the sequence, and a metric ton of RAM and CPU cycles and patience.1 -
Dear future me,
Please avenge us. Ruin the lives and reputation of specific individuals of the university professors and assistants that have ruined my life. Damage they had done is fatal and irreversible. Consequences for their actions are mandatory. For our own sanity, I am looking forward to seeking vengeance that will only ruin their careers, and from there let the karma finish them off.
Life is unfair, but why is it unfair to good people? I'll be the batman and balance this unfairness to make the other side of individuals experience it, too.
If i caught a virus and was unable to study for exam and failed because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
If my mother got diagnosed with cancer and i was unable to study for exam and failed because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
If my dad experienced a stroke and i had to be with him to make sure he's fine and unable to study for exam and failed because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
If police knocked on my door and said my whole family just died in a car crash and i am unable to study out of depression and failed the exam because of that and you say life is unfair, you are inhumane.
You are inhumane because you have a choice to show that you as a human have compassion and understanding in tragic life situations and therefore work something out regarding exam, instead of making that student fail and walking over corposes like a cruel emotionless devil.
But they wont. They wont show it because they're inhumane. They're working for the matrix and not for the people. All of the professors and assistants.
I truly hope, and wish to create a curse, for all professors and assistants in all universities, for some tragic life event to happen to them and their family members with a death outcome, so I can also tell them life is unfair.
In fact, I'll step it up a level by enforcing "life is unfair" policy onto them by anonymously, slowly, ruining their careers from the shadow. Internet is a wild place that can ruin someones life. They have pushed me off the edge of my morality. They have turned me into Joker.
I mentioned earlier that I'll let karma take care of them, but what if I am, their karma? They have created a Joker. They wanted this war. These robots we call "professors and assistants" would rather die for the matrix than show human compassion.
What i plan to do to them might be illegal; but so is illegal to be inhuman fascists. Therefore like a batman, I will fight crime with crime. I cannot let them turn me into a Joker, because the Joker ruins lives of the good people, too. Batman ruins lives of the bad people only.
Their careers will be ruined, their life will be falling apart, they will continue to live but this time in a special kind of pain, the same pain they have caused to me, just so they can maybe understand how does it feel when you're hopeless and being told "lifes unfair".
It is.
Sincerely,
Me from the past, good luck1