Can't get my hackintosh to boot the Sierra installer. Really sick of having to play around with Hackintoshes until I have the money for a MacBook. But such is my life...

Website on sign off.
Client: yeah I just updated all the content on the old site but that's ok you can just copy and paste it, right?

Currently trying to formulate a reply that doesn't start with the words "For fuck sake..."

Fucking hate these emails with a broken unsubscribe button. Rot in hell, assholes.

The 9 lines of code which triggered Oracle's 9 Billion $ lawsuit

Woahh..

London underground has higher frequency than you

Tried a mobile app club this semester and the second meeting they brought in these two business majors who said they had an idea for an app that would share videos of college parties and the videos would disappear after 24 hours. You could also invite people to the parties as well.

I was like so you basically want snapchat... what happens when cops create accounts and fine people for under age drinking? How will you get market share over snapchat or vine? How much money are you offering?

They were not pleased...

System goes down in a meeting about how to make the system highly available.

I don't know what to do I got hired by a adult video company. I will be maintaining sites you visit everyday.

Every college project gets to the "fuck it, I'm submitting this crap" stage.

I stopped telling people what I do for a living because everyone or their friend needs a website.

ok, that's a quick fix give me 5 minutes...

great job. -said no client ever

This right here..😂

How did the Stack Overflow developers debug their code?!? :O

Dev rant needs dark background with white text

that feeling

Time for an actual rant:

During an internship I heard from my PM that my assignment for the week after was going to be working on a specific sql query to add some features and fix some bugs.

When talking with colleagues about that assignment later, they laughed and referred to the query as the "query of doom" (QoD), naive as I was back then, I thought that one of my colleagues had the QoD displayed on his screen because the query he was working on looked rather large (about 20 lines). They all laughed and told me I was in for a treat.

Starting my assignment the week after I was horrified to find out the QoD was huge, and by huge I mean, printing that specific query resulted in 8 A4 pages font size 10, front and back.
There were over a 100 union statements, no proper aliases, no documentation, not a single foreign key in the entire database, naming that makes no sense. And everything written manually by 10 different developers over the past years, who all fell of the face of the earth.

And this was only the query of doom. The entire product was a complete clusterfuck of forms with a queries directly behind action buttons, because we weren't allowed to make classes (yes you read that correctly. We couldn't make classes, unless we had a very compelling reason). Everything was created by over 30 different devs who only managed to stay just long enough to get some work done.

And all of this was the result of a PM who didn't believe in frameworks, ORM's, OOP, classes, ... because that made the software slow. To this day he still manages that product, but I'm glad that I quickly decided to move on.

"We all just commit to the master branch here."

The IE version of any website should automatically direct users to a link to download a better web browser

Obligatory'); DROP TABLE rants;--

When a recruiter starts his 10 minute phone call with "I have an excellent opportunity" and ends it with "Junior SQL dev".

So I'm writing a function in Unity3D that walks a rectangular grid. At one place in the code, I got the x+y coordinates backwards, which caused the function to infinitely loop between two coordinates.

Not seeing a way to kill the loop, I looked it up on Google. The suggestions I get are. . .

1. You need to kill the Unity3D task and lose your edits because the environment and the player run on the same thread.
2. You can pay ten bucks for an extension that lets you break out of infinite loops.
3. You should really avoid writing infinite loops. That's just bad form.

SERIOUSLY?

Newbie just started this week and went changing hibernate settings on us. Changed hbm2ddl from update to create, which nukes the data on every deploy. She thought she was working against her local DB when in fact she was pointed at the shared integration database, thus nuking INT. Through a couple hours of PL/SQL wizardry, I managed to resurrect the data. Within 5 minutes of giving the team the all clear, the data disappeared again...betcha can guess what happened...again!

When they say that app needs to be IE9 supported 10 months into development