I quit and my last day is next week.

Apparently management has decided that I should spend my last day implementing a new feature for a customer where I have been the only developer, and release it to production (without first implementing it in test) the same day. A feature that potentially could cripple a whole workflow if done wrong.

Of course I advised not to release untested code to production on a friday, just before the only person that knows how it works leaves the company. But no, “the customer reaaaaaally wants it before summer, so just be careful not to write any bugs”.

I’m not saying that I’m intentionally gonna write bad code - but if I do, I’m not gonna pick up the phone when it calls.

My project manager just asked me if we need to do a release in order for the changes we have done to be seen in prod.

Yes… what do you think a release means?

Android studio is a piece of shit. One day it works as expected, the next day I keep having to run ”clean project” 54 times before it decides that it wants to make a good build.

I have a colleague that prefers to develop (web) with only one monitor, either just the laptop or a mirrored secondary.

Like a psychopath

Nuked prod db today. Fortunatly we had backup.

Now I’m gonna change my pants

We get an email from the customer that a feature they “are using every day” is broken and it needs to be fixed ASAP. Sure, seems to be broken in current build. Run git blame to see when it stopped working. Last change may of last year. It’s been broken for almost a year and it took them until now to notice even though they “use it every day”.

PM: How long will it take to fix this bug? Needs to be done by friday.
Me: I can do a hotfix in some hour, a more permanent solution will take at least 3-4 hours.
PM: Alright, I’ll schedule you for 1 hour.
Me: alright, sounds good.

*makes a hotfix*

Me: the hotfix is done now, just tell me when you want me to do the permanent solution.
PM: what?! Thought I you could manage the permanent fix in the time I booked.

???????

!dev

It never seize to amaze me how so many seem to think more base = better sound, even to the point where the sound is so muddy and unintelligible that it sounds like you’re listening to the upstairs neighbor having a party on a Saturday night.

Even if you only listen to electronic music with heavy bass, there is usually some treble or mid tones that just gets obliterated with too much base. The only situation I feel like it could make sense was if you primarily listen to jet engine noises or whales mating on dry land.

Come on, treat your ears and honor your artists by using some quality headphones that can sound like it’s meant to sound.

!rant

Thank you, senior developer!

Thanks for offering to help me when I said haven’t slept at all tonight.

Thanks for having a pair programming session with me when I said I would have trouble finishing todays tasks that the customer was expecting.

Thanks for being understanding and explaining, instead of just staying quiet and do everything yourself, when I couldn’t understand even simple solutions with my sluggish brain.

Thanks for making sure I understood what tasks needed to be done and how to do them before you resumed to your own.

Thanks for caring, and telling me I did good work even though I wasn’t my sharpest today!

I have a college that never seems to answer anything fully, just the bare minimum to make it seem like he did.

Regular conversations with him goes like this:

Me: “hey, I have a problem with this feature you added, I’m getting an error *insert error*”
Him: “yeah theres a script for that...”

Me: *wait for the script he mentioned*

Me: “whats the script?”
Him: “it’s FixIssues.sh”

Me: *looks for the script in the project*

Me: “hey, I can’t find it, where is it?”
Him: “here it is” *pastes a script into chat*
Me: “Oh, where can i find that in the project?”
Him: “you can’t”
Me: “???”
Him: “I have it in my OneDrive”

WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? Why this song and dance every time I ask something? This conversation could have been over in 1 minute but instead we both have to waste 15 minutes of our time to get this far.

Started a new job as junior developer. One of my first task was to sent a simple notification on an event in out product. Write the code, test that it works, push to devops.

Code compiles, tests pass, it’s deployed to internal test env. Check that my notification works in the test env. No problem.

It’s deployed to the customers test environment. It works and customer accepts it for prod.

We release to prod and of course it fails. Seems to be a simple string.Format that fails for god knows why. After 3h of debugging on prod without success we decide to roll it back.

Today we decided to try it on a backup of the prod db since one of the strings was taken from the db. Still working. No matter what data I input when trying it locally it still wont reproduce the issue we saw on prod.

Fuck this

Greatest thing just happened.

Get a ticket about orders not being processed in our webshop. Angry customer. Critical!!!!

Starts troubleshooting. Nothing has changed in the code recently, was working just fine yesterday. Works locally and on test server. Hmmm...

Take a chance. Writes back to customer: “there! Try to place an order again” without changing anything.

5 minutes I get back “awesome! Everything works again and all previous orders have appeared. Good work!”.

Happy customer. Happy dev :)
Fin