Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "it support"
Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?
Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.
Customer: That's an interesting analogy.
Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...6
*computer fell, broken in pieces*
Me calling [Microsoft] tech support: hey can you check my warranty on this computer, I think I broke it?
Tech support: yes sir but we must first go through the troubleshooting steps,
Me: no, no I just-
Tech support: have you tried pressing F8 sir?
Me: umm… no, look I'm just -
Tech support: sir please press the F8 key sir
Me: okay… I pressed it, now can you just check my-
Tech support: sir please what happened when you pressed F8?
Me: it's broken, now if you could just check my warranty -
Tech support: sir I'm sorry sir I think you did it wrong. Please press F8
Me: no just check my-
Tech support: sir I think you do not understand, sir it is at the top-
I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!
Client: Hi, my computer is not working.
Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?
Client: IDK. It won't work.
Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?
Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?
Client: Oh, black screen.
Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?
Client: Yes, it's white.
Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?
Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.
**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.
Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.
Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?
Me: That can happen.
Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.
Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.
*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh19
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.10
When he told her he worked in IT support, it really turned her on.
Then it turned her off.
Then it turned her on again...5
Made it!!! Starting at CERN on September 1st! :)
A big thank you to you guys for the support in my previous posts!36
> Receive sudden phone call in the middle of the night
> Check caller, unknown number
> "Either something bad happened or it's something urgent. I'd better answer."
> Friend of friend of friend says he updated his gpu drivers and now has some random fps drops.
> I was in a good mood so I agreed to help him over teamviewer, even though I don't know him.
> Downgrading to an older version of nvidia driver seemed to have fixed the drops.
> 5 minutes later, he calls again. His headset is not working properly.
> Helped him fix the issue over teamviever.
> This continued for at least 2 hours, calling me every 5 minutes to install just another driver or change some random win setting. Turned out he had some retard format his pc because he thought it'd "make it go faster".
> Calls me again, this time he's pc isn't booting up at all. After 20 minutes on the phone the fucktard admits he just tried to reformat his pc because "my pc automatically installed a bad windows update" ( no, I don't understand either) but he fucked it up.
> I begin explaining him how to make a bootable usb stick, how to change the boot order etc to reinstall windows. I even suggested that I'd help him setup win/drivers after windows's done installing.
> He lets me go for about an hour explaining.
> "So that's it. When the setup is over, call me again and I'll help you install the drivers."
> "Bro this sounds complicated, why don't you come over? This won't even take you 5 minutes"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
YOU FUCKING TRASH
CALL ME AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE YOUR GIGABYTE GEFORCE GTX1060 6GB UP YOUR ASS, PERPENDICULARLY
The motherfucker even called me "bro"7
This is Why I give IT support so much respect.
Friend: my computer stopped working can you help?
Me: (porn...again) fine I'll help.
Friend: come over when your ready
Me: Be there tomorrow bro
Me: where is your desktop
Friend: upstairs, I tried everything man
Me: look at the monitor... look at the hp piece of shit.. see green light on... look back at the monitor...no light... look at my friend.
Me: look behind the desk...
Me: 😪your monitor is unplugged
Me: fuck you lose my number5
How not to give support..
Me: Creates ticket on support site, letting them know their webservice returns "maintenance" page.
Support: "It works on our end."
Support: *closes ticket*
Euhm.. excuse me?
Me: Creates another ticket with a screenshot and the curl response information..
Support: Sends screenshot back that it works on their end. "Maybe check your firewall"
Support: *closes ticket*
I ain't playing these games..
Me: Creates new ticket with more curl responses from 4 different servers to prove it's not "firewall" related.
2 days later
Me: Sends *friendly* reminder.
6 days later
Me: Creates ticket again saying I'm still having issues.
Support: "I'm forwarding this to our technical support"
Support: *closes ticket*
10 minutes later.
Technical Support: "Here's the manual for our integration .pdf."
Excuse me, you say what now? I KNOW HOW IT WORKS, I'VE WRITTEN THE INTEGRATION ALREADY. THE SERVICE JUST SEEMS TO BE DOWN FFS.. pls..
Me: Sends mail to their project manager who manages the clients dossier with support history and such.
Him: "I'll check it out and let you know."
1 day later.
Support: "We had some issues this and that, wasn't publically availble, works now, .."
What a nice way to waste your time..6
Me: Your computer has Operating System corruption.
Customer: What does that mean?
Me: *something, something potato chips* and the only fix is to reinstall Windows.
Customer: Well that's stupid! I need my computer! Darn Windows! Microsoft should pay for that reinstallation! What causes that corruption anyway?
Me: Well, any number of things, but it's mostly caused by a part of the update not downloading correctly, so when it gets installed it creates a hole.
Customer: So now hold on... could shutting the computer down during the updates cause this corruption.
Me: It could, yes. That's why they say to not unplug your computer or shut it down while running the updates.
Customer: I see. Cause yeah, I remember that I was angry when it said it had to do updates, so I shut it down.
Me: Yep, that would cause it.
Customer: Okay, reinstall Windows...11
I’m the tech support of my family and I’m proud! 😎
I only hate it if other people treat me like their personal tech support12
This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.
Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.
Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--
Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.
Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.
Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!
Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*
Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?
Customer: Yes, it has.
Me: On how many computers?
Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.
Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?
Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*
Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?
Me: *gives price*
Customer: And do you have any?
Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*
Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.
Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?
Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*
Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!
Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.
Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?
Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.
Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.
Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3
Customer: ...Okay, fine
Me: *updates the ticket*
When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."
If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.
If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?
If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.
If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.
If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.
IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.17
Oh the joy of helping elders with their computers..
Client: My computer is broken.
*Me expecting some kind of hardware issue*
Me: In what way is it broken? Are you able to start the computer?
Client: Yes. I can read Windows and then there's a login. It works fine but then It's broken.
*me standing next to client while client struggles to type password*
*5 minutes and a coffee brake later*
/* the client is finally able to figure out the password.. What a suprise! A note in the drawers containing all passwords.. */
Me: I'm sorry but I can't see any problems so far. You are supposed to be welcomed by your desktop *points at screen*. In what way is it broken?
Client: It's not the same as before. *now the client points at the screen*. Here. There used to be a picture here. It took me to <site>. Now It's not there. Something has changed.
*realizing that the client has lost his shortcut and wants a new one*
Oh the joy of helping elders with their computers.6
IT: Its controlled via SSO, everyone has access by default
Me: oh i'm sorry, you are correct, I don't have an error message on my screen saying I don't have access. I made it all up. Thank you, you may close the support ticket4
My ISP advertises themselves as IT-nerds. I once contacted the support, not tech support, just the usual support. I wanted to use my own router instead of theirs, and the supporter actually knew how I should configure my vlan and a lot of other technical stuff.
Why aren’t all ISP’s like mine?10
When you type a shitload of instructions for someone in a support ticket reply and after a little you get a reply where they give you all the thanks and that they appreciate it etc.
That makes your day great as a support person 😍5
We moved to a new office floor and got a brand new set up. My new extension monitor died just after 4 hours of use, it was showing a black screen a with couple of colourful lines running down the screen.
Got the IT guy to come and replace it. He says he must test it with a display cable even though the screen was dead without any input source. (Ok fine cbf arguing with you, just do it.)
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Realising I was right, he gave the ok for another guy to replace my monitor.
Second guy comes to my desk and realised he forgot the electric screwdriver. (Sigh, how long must I wait...) After he finally finished installing the new monitor he plugged the display cable into a random display port without looking.
*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*
Since the monitor wasn't displaying anything, he jumped into asking me to restart my computer. I gave him "the wtf are you stupid face" and just said "NO". I looked over to where he plugged the cable and asked why he plugged into the "dp out" port.
I plugged the cable to the correct port and monitor was working.
Felt like I can do their job better without any experience in IT support.
PS. Don't play the "please restart your computer" card on me. I also work in technology.2
A nerd often get to act support. I got this question about a year ago from a friend. (I've translated it into english.)4
28% of people working in IT hide their job from friends and family in order not to get asked about free support.9
I hate trying to support old browsers.
If we keep supporting old sh*t, people will never stop using it.11
Family reunion weekend. I'm just wondering for how long this will stay a 'family reunion weekend' before it turns into a 'first person tech support weekend'5
As a general rule - if it makes anything even the slightest bit easier, IE won't support it, Chrome will do it brilliantly, Mozilla has already written the documentation for it and Safari is gonna hold off for a few years until they've "revolutionised" it, then promptly drop support for it10
As part of my internship, I worked in the IT dept of a big elevator company. The company mostly has designers (brickscad) and sellers (apart from the workers with which I had nothing to do).
So here I am 18y.o. getting my first iTop ticket which said "Network doesn't work, I can't do my job"
So I'm thinking I should call the guy and go through the standards.
Me: Hello, I'm from the IT dept and I am assigned to your problem so how about we go through it?
Guy: Yea yea, come over already I can't do my fucking job! This piece of shit computer always giving me shit like I told you a month ago.
Me: I wouldn't know sir, I started working here this month so it must've been someone else from the dept.
Guy: No it was you, I remember your voice.
Me: But sir, I wasn't working here last month. Please, can we go over your issue?
Guy whispering: Great I got the fucking new guy!
Guy: Ok my issue is, I have no fucking network connection and without that I can't do fucking job now can I?
Me trying to stay calm: Ok sir, do you see the computer icon in the bottom right corner of the screen? Does it have a red 'X' on it?
Guy: Yea it does. It means I have no network connection.
Me: You're right sir, it appears that for some reason you have no connection. Is the ethernet plugged in the second port? The one at the bottom of your tower?
Guy: Yea it is, what do you take me for? A fucking amateur? I'm in this company 13 years now!
Me: Ok sir, I'm sorry but you have to check just to make sure.
Guy exhales: Ok new guy I'll hummor you.
Guy after a while: You IT people always think you know it all! It's as I said! The ethernet cable is in the top port.
Me: But.... sir... The ethernet must be in the bottom one for the network to work.
He proceeds to hand up on me.
iTop-->Ticket #5647---> Right click--->Mark as resolved----> Solution: he stopped being a blind stupid piece of trash.---> Send.
After a couple of minutes The system admin bursts into uncontrollable laughter.4
Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...
Me: What? Why?
Coworker: So he installed some virus...
Me: Yeah? And...?
Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!
Me: That's horrifying..7
Working in the IT Department is just funny man. Sometimes I wonder if I'm dumb, too smart to answer these dumb questions or these clients are just asking questions they already have answers to that I don't.
Client: Hey, can you please give X access to Y's Dropbox? He gets error saying he doesn't have access to the file.
Me: Uhh, you have to share a link to the specific file you want to share with X. Then only he can access it.
Client: Can you send him the link?
Me: Uhhhh, what link?
Client: The link to the file.
Me: Who created the file you want to share?
Client: My boss did. And he wants me to send the link to X. But I don't have the link so he said to check with IT.
Me (in my mind): WTF!!!!
Me: Ok, ask your boss to share the link to the file he created with you then you can send it to Y. He can also send it to Y directly himself. IT doesn't have and has no idea of what file your boss created. Only your boss knows.
Client: Ok, hold on let me check with him..
Client gets back on the phone.. "he said he deleted the file".
Me: Well, there's no file to share here.
Client: Can you find it?
Me: Call Dropbox.
Client: do you have his number?
At this point I started laughing.. 😂😂😂🤣🤣
Me: Dropbox is a company.
Client: Ok, thank you. I'll call Dropbox.
At this point, I'm wondering. If this client thought Dropbox was person, then what did she mean by her initial question? 🤔
Can this be real life? This happened less than an hour ago, and going home now still confused about this whole situation. 😂😂6
If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!
This is one of the most unexpected, silly and ridiculous behaviors of MySQL: it doesn't support LIMIT in sub-queries, however it perfectly supports it in sub-sub-queries. WTF.10
So people need to learn how to use a car in a safe manner and without pissing off other users before they get a license and are allowed to actually use one in the real world.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish this also applied to computers.2
Guys I posted here about a job interview i had... got it ! I start tomorrow so thank you for your support, you are amazing !6
Coworker: According to science, people who work with math or computers are least likely to get divorced.
Me: Well that's because they're least likely to get married.
Coworker: ...In order to participate in the study you had to be married at least once
Me: It was a joke, man!
Coworker: Well it wasn't a funny one!
Me: ...it was to me...7
I was called as an IT technician at law firm to install a program in a lawyer's pc. Found a porn video saved in bookmarks...why? 🙄14
Still one of my favourites.
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.2
Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail
All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...
FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!
And the inevitable reply: no.
The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.7
My dad has an acquaintance - let's call him Tom. Tom is an gynecologist, one of the best in Poznań, where I live. He's a great guy but absolutely can not into tech of any kind besides his iPhone and basic PC usage. For about a year now I've been doing small jobs for him - build a new PC for his office, fix printer, fix wifi, etc. He has made a big mistake few years ago by trusting a guy, let's call him Shitface, with crating him software for work. It's supposed to be pretty simple piece of code in which you can create and modify patient file, create prescription from drugs database and such things. This program is probably one of the worst pierces of code I've ever seen and Shitface should burn for that. Worse, this guy is pretentious asshole lacking even basic IT knowledge. His code is garbage and it's taking him few months to make small changes like text wrapping. But wait, there's more. Everything is hardcoded so every PC using this software must have installed user controls for which he doesn't have license and static IP address on network card.
Tom asked me to build him a new PC that will be acting like a server for Shitface's program. He needs it in Kalisz (around 150 km from my place). I Agred (pun intended) and after Tom brought me his old computer I've bought parts and built a new one. I have also copied everything of value and everything took me around three hours.
Everything was ready but Shitface's program. I didn't know much about it's configuration so when I've noticed that it's not working even on the old PC I got a bit worried. Nevertheless I started breaking everything I know about it and after next three hours I've got it somewhat working. Seeing that there's still some problems with database connection (from Windows' Event Viewer) I wrote quick SMS to Shitface asking what can be wrong. He replied that he won't be able to help me any way until Monday (day after deadline). I got pissed and very courteously asked him for source code because some of libraries used in this project has license that requires either purchase of commercial license or making code open source. He replied within few minutes that he'll be able to connect remotely within next 10 minutes. He was trying to make it work for the next hour but he succeeded. It was night before deadline so I wrapped everything up and went to bed thinking that it won't take me more than an hour to get this new PC up and running in the office. Boy was I wrong.
Also, curious about his code, I've checked source and he is using beautiful ponglish (mixed Polish and English) with mistakes he couldn't even bother to fix. For people from Poland, here's an example:
So I drove to Kalisz and started working on making everything work. Almost everything was ready so after half an hour I was done. But I wanted to check twice if it's all good because driving so far second time would be a pain. So I started up Shitface's program, logged in, tried to open ANYTHING and... KABUM. UNHANDLED EXCEPTION. WTF. I checked trace and for fuck sake something was missing. Keep in mind that then I didn't know he's using some third party control for Windows Forms that needs to be installed on client PC. After next fifteen minutes of googling I've found a solution. I just had to install this third party software and everything will work. But... It had to be exactly this version and it was old. Very old. So old that producent already removed all traces of its existence from their web page and I couldn't find it anywhere. I tried installing never version and copying files from old PC but it didn't work. After few hours of searching for a solution I called Mr Shitface asking him for this control installation file. He told me that he has it but will be able to send it my way in the evening. Resigned I asked for this new PC to be left turned on and drove home. When he sent me necessary files I remotely installed them and everything started working correctly.
So, to sum it up. Searching for parts and building new PC, installing OS and all necessary software, updating everything and configuring it for Tom taste took me around what, 1/3 of time I spent on installing Mr Shitface's stupid program which Tom is not even happy with. Gotta say it was one of worst experiences I had in recent months. Hope I won't have to see this shit again.
Fortunately everything seems to work correctly. Tom hasn't called me yet with any problems. Mission accomplished. I wanna kill very specific someone. With. A. Spoon.1
Coming home for xmas: fixing the router, configuring new smartphones, doin backups and listen to your mum complaing bout her "linus" system 👌🏻😂3
Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.1
So IT just blocked all web browsers at work apart from internet explorer.....
I have been using it for 2 hours and I think I'm about ready to end it all....17
Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?
Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.
Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.
Customer: I like that, let's do it!
Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?8
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. (Michael Sinz)4
My first Dev job involved password resets. Quickly created a GUI for that shit and passed it off to IT support.
Me: Hello. I'm from dept. ABC. My system isn't working.
IT: Have you tried logging OFF & ON again?
Me: (Let me rephrase) No the system isn't turning ON 😅
IT: Before I come over to your desk, can you try restarting once? 🤓
Me: (Motherfuck..) 🙂5
Sorry guys, IT support will be busy all day today. We have to sweet talk the server's into working for a week on their own.2
I was called over by a colleague. She needed help because her computer kept telling her that she did not have permission to run certain programs or access certain files.
She logged in to Windows in front of me. The first thing that I noticed that the username was her office email address. I asked her about it.
Me: Why is your username your email address?
Her: It was this way when I got it.
Me: That is impossible. I made every Windows installation here and I always use the same username which is [companyname] as it is our policy.
Her: I'm telling you, this is the way it was when I got it.
Me: Are completely sure?
Her: Well.... someone else must have renamed it.
Me: So someone fired up your laptop, used your password to log in and changed the username to your email?
Her: I don't understand it either. Is it possible that it happened accidentally, on its own?
Then I explained to her that changing the username on Windows 10 may result in problems with file permissions.
I am not mad because she didn't know about this. I am mad because of her idiotic lies.6
Today I uninstalled WhatsApp, I mean I haven't had a look at it in over a month and nobody texts me anways.
Writing this makes me realize how sad this is
I don't want to support Facebook or any data mining company, instead I want to support (free) / open source software like Signal51
Can we have support for
Doesn't even need syntax highlight, just the <pre> behavior.
In support of my request, I know this isn't code sharing but we still quote code and commands alot.
It would be a nice differentiation.13
The Linux desktop marketshare. Every year support gets better and better and soon I think it will be higher than the Mac desktop marketshare.
I'm on the phone with an elderly customer.
Customer: Yes, I just got my computer back and now it's not talking to my monitor.
Me: Okay, and the monitor cable is plugged in?
Me: Okay, I think I remember that you had a graphics card. Do you have a horizontal blue port?
Me: Okay. So let's look near the middle of your computer. Do you see a blue port?
Customer: I don't know. I know the blue monitor cable is plugged in, but I don't know what color it is.
Me: Alright, let's unplug the cable for a second.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now let's look for those two blue ports...
Customer: I only see one.
Me: And it's near the middle of the computer?
Me: Okay, let's plug the monitor in.
Customer: Okay, done.
Me: Now does the monitor come up with anything?
Customer: Let me get to where I can see it... No, there's nothing.
Me: Even if you wiggle the mouse a little?
Me: Does the computer talk to the monitor if you move the mouse a little?
Customer: How do I do that?
Me: ...You take the mouse... and move it from side to side
Customer: Oh! I understand. Um, no. Nothing.
Me: Okay, well let's bring the computer in. I think I know what the problem is, I just need to put a piece of tape somewhere.
Customer: Oh, okay. Fine.2
Wouldn't it be amazing if Linus Torvalds just say "fuck it, fuck this controversy, fuck the CoC and all the self righteous dumbass people infecting my community!"
And just forks Linux to start a new OS? Would you support him? I bet he would have huge independent support, hell I'm poor and even I'd donate.7
Apple, 2018: We are pleased to announce support for Dual SIM on iPhone Xs.
Apple, 2019: We are pleased to announce support for 3.5mm headphone jack.
Make it happen.3
Me: *reading work order* Customer states Mac does not have sound
*Me turns on Mac, it makes the signature "BONNNNG" sound*
Me: Uh huh...
Coworker: Rule No. 1 of tech support: The users always lie
Me: True, but still! How do you miss the start up Mac sound?!3
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.
And then another one.
I hate it when people call me to help fixing their computers as if I'm a tech support. I'm a programmer. Yes, I can fix them. But it only took me a few fucking Google searches3
Support: Do the thing.
Me: I know, but how?
Support: Read the docs.
Me: All it says is "do the thing". But it doesn't state how.
Support: So, do the thing.1
That moment when you say you work as developer and someone respond : "Great, can you have a look at my microwaves?"6
Who's at fault for the recent Wanna Cry virus: The companies affected or Microsoft/NSA?
Personally, I think it's the companies affected. This is what happens when you try and be cheap when it comes to cyber security.11
BOSS/SUPPORT/CLIENT: IT’S URGENT!!!! IT’S URGENT!!!!
Me: if it was really urgent why are you asking me about it at 5’oclock on FRIDAY3
*Calls Desktop Support*
Me: Hey, my keyboard is broken. I want to replace it.
*Support guy sends new keyboard*
*Calls support again*
Me: Hey, the shift key on the left side of the new keyboard is broken.
I don't know who came up with this keyboard design, but that person really wanted to see developers who write in camel case suffer while their muscle memory adapts.23
trying to use flexbox when you have to support IE. fuck IE. fuck it. fuck it in the ass with a rusty pipe.8
A customer had spilled beer on his Macbook and brought it in for us to run diagnostics on.
Me: So it looks like his Mac got cultured...
Coworker: I'm not even going to respond.3
Just received a support request that the lift is broken and requesting I fix it... Their reasoning? It has buttons and lights up (I'm dev/IT at small company)4
I just got e-mail:
"Sunsetting Mercurial support in Bitbucket
After much consideration, we've decided to remove Mercurial support bla bla bla crocodile tears bla bla..."
So basically, Bitbucket started out as a Mercurial repository hosting platform. After GitHub's rise in popularity, they decided "hey, everyone's welcome, both Hg and Git!" Then it became Git and "okay Hg too, but shhh don't tell anyone". Now they FINALLY completed running it into the ground: "Only 1% of repositories are Mercurial" - yeah no shit sherlock, after actively hiding the fact you support it, people don't find out you support it! Surprised Pikachu! Oh congrats, Atlassian. You're so smart.
Mercurial support was the sole reason I had repositories there. I mean, for Git we already have GitHub, GitLab and others. So what's their unique selling point again? What's that, the sound of crickets? Thought so.
So after that, hopefully they change the name to "Gitbucket". Or preferably "Bitfuckit".13
Getting corporate VPN access:
PM: Here's the program to get in, it should work.
Me: Won't install.
PM: sorry old version, here is the new one.
Me: Can't get in
PM: create a ticket
Support: Not sure, just try again
Me: Still won't work
Support: We forgot to set some attributes in your account, should work now.
Support: We are investigating.
*two weeks later*
Support: should work now.
Me: No it doesn't you stupid f***tards.
*gives up all hope*3
Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?
Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?
Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.
Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick
Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?
Customer: Yes, DDR2.
Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?
Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.3
Google Pay is about to support PayPal as virtual card (at least in Germany)
That's quite the finger to the local banks here
I like it12
Customer: *brings in laptop and printer* My internet has been terrible lately, so this printer hasn't been working very well as a wireless printer. Could you fix it?
Me: Well, it wouldn't help much because it would be hooked up on our network, so when you take it home it won't work on yours.
Customer: I don't understand...
Me: *thinks for a second* okay, so it's like you have two streams of water. Whatever you do in the first stream doesn't effect the second stream of water.
Customer: I still don't understand....
Me: Never mind. Just go home and give us a call. We'll be able to help you better that way.
Customer: Okay, thanks!
Coworker: You can't cross the streams, Rider!2
Local time: 10:45 AM
I get a call from a customer. "My computer isn't working," she says. "I can't get to Google."
"What does it say?" Ideas swirl through my mind as I ask the question. I've seen this problem before.
"'Your connection is not private,'" says she. "I just want to buy a program."
I instantly know what the problem is.
"What time does your computer say it is?" I say it calmly, almost with a knowing smile. Yes, this has to be the issue.
"Um... 1:40," she says, a drip of confusion in her voice.
"That's your problem," I say. "Just fix that and you'll be good to go."
The problem was resolved and all was good.8
First year at university, prepared to set up multiple electronics.
rPi, arduino Ethernet shield, laptop, and desktop.
Brand new netgear switch to satisfy my internet surfing needs....
After setting up my devices, I realized none of them have internet. Hm. The feed port on my switch wasn't blinking either. So I tell the front desk, and a short 7 days later the port is back on. Yay, problem solved.
One morning I arise to see the port dark and inactive. Furious I use my laptop to share an internet connection while my actual port is "broken".
Support ticket is reopened and this time I get an email saying the port was disabled due to a security issue.
Me: what's the issue?
IT: there was more than two devices connected to the port
(OnLy TwO dEvIcEs PeR port???)
Me: oh okay I will only connect two.
The next day the port is disabled, again.
Me: can you tell me why it was disabled?
IT: a switch was detected being used, security error.
Me: how do I connect more than one device to the port without a switch???
IT: Please only connect one device.
I really love how beautiful code can be, and the feeling of creating something for others or yourself to enjoy. But I hate being the family's IT guy... I'm a developer not IT support.4
I know we're trying to stay away from Flash. I've heard that most browsers these days support cookies. Could you work it into a "cookie applet?"1
Finally. My router got support for OpenWRT. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Lets grab that serial port and flash it.13
Got an email from the IT manager of a subsidiary.
IT: Hi, I appeal to your IT skills: A. wants the Chrome bookmarks of B. How do I do it? Can I just login with B. account in A.’s Chrome to let her have the same bookmarks?
Me: No, please...never heard about export/import?
IT: Nope, thank you for the suggestion. I’ll do my best!
And that’s why I’m currently on holiday.....6
After a year of lurking on devRant I'm giving it the support it deserves.
- Awesome design
- Awesome community
- Awesome app
Thanks you devRant9
Michael Sinz: “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”3
What manager says: You should support IE because a very large portion of our userbase is already there and they somewhat comply with web standards so it shouldn't be that hard. Also most good sites support IE so we should support it too.
What web developer hears: blah blah blah SUPPORT IE blah blah blah SUPPORT IE9
wooohooo just downloaded ubuntu 16.10 GNOME will install it in few minutes wooow so excited since its for baytrail-M tablet which have no support for linux so will see how it goes eish me luck
I called customer support for an unnamed site.
I: I don't seen it when I refresh page
Support: press CTRL + f5
I: I tried, I still bad
Support: remove memory from your computer and reinsert it. Then it will go.
Wtf, Best support ever :)2
What would you answer if your IT support asks: "What do you use to connect to MongoDB, Internet Explorer or Chrome?"8
Colleague calls the IT support because he forgot his Windows login after the holiday.
IT Support: "Please go to the intranet and write a ticket" - telephone call ended.6
One of my customers' laptop background (removed sensitive information and desktop icons).
Coworker: When you really love Chrome, but don't know what hi-res is!11
Rofl. Used this saying at work. Writing software is like having a child. Make one mistake and you have to support it for the next eighteen years2
Time: 0600 hrs.
Mental State: Almost falling asleep on my laptop
I get a call from my "random cousin" with whom I haven't spoken in a looooong time, and he says "Hey, Good Morning ! I can't connect to my WiFi from my Windows laptop running Windows 7. Can you help ?.."
That moment when you TRULY believe in the person who developed the "Network Diagnostics" utility on Windows and ask the "random cousin" who calls you up at 6 AM to try it...
And he sends you this screenshot after some time ...
And then you have to wake up and pinch yourself to see if you are in a dream...
Long sleepless day ahead...6
Chrome 57 adds Web Assembly support.
I just know I'm going to be asked to use it soon. I just know it. It's not even close to a finished specification!10
Well, everytime I build a pc for a friend I'll always end up telling myself "this is the last time". Not bc I have a problem with building pc's, I love it, but its the "free of charge" 24/7 IT-support my non techy (techii?) friends expects from me after the build is done I hate.
So here's the deal.
A week ago I built a brand new pc for a friend, as usual (bc he's a good friend) I told him that my "fee" would be a couple of beers and the train ticket up. So I got there, built the pc and we hooked it up to his monitor. About 5sec in to windows the screen went black. My friend started to panic, and I started to check if all the components and cables were hooked up right (tho I've done this a couple of times, shit can happen) but found nothing was wrong.
I had to take the train home, cause it got late AF and I live in another city, but I told him to try another cable. Felt bad AF for not being able to help him.
Flash forward 2 days, my friend started messaging me late in the evening, complaining about how he had tried everything and ultimately had to leave the pc at an (as he called it) "proffesional" who charged him 100$.
I felt even guiltier about that one, asked him if he tried to change the hdmi, but he said that's in The hands of this guy now.
Two days later this PC God gave him an answer.
Guess What he told him?
CHANGE THE ***** HDMI CABLE.
Afterwards he wanted help installing drivers over fb-messenger.
I love my friends, but man why do I do this to myself.3
"I'm not very smart with computers"
Why do people say that? Obviously you may not know 100% of what you can do with a computer, but NO ONE does! I get that some people know slightly more than others, but it all comes down to how much time you put into learning it!
And how do you even respond to that? "I know, I'm dumb." You can't ignore it or affirm it, you just have to awkwardly acknowledge and then change the subject. Ugh...4
Our new IT support college (I've been the support for like almost 2 years into the company and then I moved onto another project) asked me about how to configure a printer over LAN. I explained him the whole procedure and after he asked me what does the gateway IP means, I explained him that it's a router, switch or another device that know how to forward packets on to other networks and gave him an example like 192.168.100.1 and told him that usually is the router's/switch IP address and is the same IP address as the static IP of the printer but with .1 at the end instead of the last number set. After that he asked me: "Like this? 192.168.100.25.1?"3
Removing an app from the app store should prevent users from downloading it again and accessing the app entirely.
I hate providing support for a deleted app.1
The moment a support tells you they won't fix the bug, because it had existed for so long that it's a feature now.1
A guy came to me with a laptop that wouldn't boot. After some poking around, I opened the machine just to find everything submerged in coffee. No sh*t your computer doesn't work..3
Little news for fellow Linux users and Windows users who want to switch.
WINE 3.0 has been released recently and I haven't seen anyone mention it here so I thought I'd share. It features support for Direct3D 11.
Also, apparently, Photoshop CC 2018 works: https://imgur.com/a/k0HI07
DevRant = Therapy for all us IT psychopaths that decided to enter the abyss by touching our first compile command....(or setting if you in IT support)2
"Features are like having sex. You make one mistake and you have to support it for life. " - Dave McClure5
<IT Support Feature Request>
- reduce condescending support agent chat level to 1.
- remove unnecessary checks for "have you turned it off and on again" & "please ensure your machine is plugged in".
- instantly be put through to second line support as a minimum level.
Cons - none
Pros - reduced developer anger, reduced developer time wastage, reduced developer hatred for people less technical6
working in IT support sometimes makes me wonder if people are really that stupid or they try to test me if i am really stupid.8
I hate when sites accept a 20 char password but only 'technically' support fewer. By truncating it of course...
Always entertaining to try shorter and shorter versions of the password to see when it works.... yay...3
I'm considering restarting my hardware support gig. Prospective slogan is "if it can run DOOM, we can fix it"3
Does anyone else hate calling support for hosting companies and such? I use it as a last resort because I hate talking on the phone 😬8
Whenever tech support answers "yes, i can help you with that sir",
what they really mean is "no, but i will google it for you"
A customer brought in an older, beat-up machine and told us it wasn't booting. We noticed that his power supply was damaged, but checked it in for other diagnostics.
I found out he had a corrupted operating system, but with everything else on the computer, I didn't recommend fixing the computer.
Now, for reference, this is a Windows 7 computer with 10GB of RAM. But it also has a bent side-panel, the front-panel is hanging on by a thread, and it would also need the new power supply -- all of which would be over $200 USD.
When I finally relayed this info to him over the phone, we started talking about the system.
Him: So what do you think?
Me: I mean, this computer has some good specs, but with the damage, I wouldn't recommend repairing the computer. Now, this is your computer and you are more than welcome to tell me to shove it, but I'd recommend replacing it. We're at the breaking point of doing whatever you want to do, and it's your money that you're spending, but in my professional opinion, I don't think it's worth saving.
Him: Well, okay. I'll come in later and see what options I have6
I solemnly swear to never buy a laptop with a realtek WiFi adapter again. Linux kernel doesn't fucking support it.10
I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.
My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.
And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.
PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?
Poor dev got transferred to support department :(4
Show your support for the FOSS community and help to save it from lying politicians
All kinds of support is very much appreciated.
Amazon's AWS support sent me an email about a request to support that I sent to billing, saying they sent it to billing. They then said they couldn't help.
I just need them to stop billing me for things I no longer use!3
So I work for a VPN company as the Info Sec manager long story short I'm not usually the pleb who does customer support.
But today I ended up having to do this. I spent over 1 hour helping a client that a support agent escalated the request for to me. So I figure out that his network adapters are sharing incorrectly.
I fix problem.
He tries to connect.
Denied access so I check our servers for the request and he's blocked.
I think that's odd.....
I check active subscription and this person ISNT A CLIENT THATS ACTIVE....
WHY IS SUPPORT SO IGNORANT.
Coworker: I've been working on this computer for an entire day now and it's still having issues
Boss: Well, we can give the client an option to get another SSD and clone to it before reinstalling the OS.
Coworker: But he doens't have an SSD...
Boss: Yes he does
Coworker: *opens computer* let's see, two 1TB hard drives... but no SSD... Oh, there it is. It's hidden. But it's booting too slow to be....
Coworker: Oh my god. I've been telling the computer to boot to the wrong hard drive. That explains everything!1
A bit of an anecdote here:
The project I am working on at my internship has to function perfectly in IE11.
There are users using it on fucking IE6, but no one paid extra for IE6 support.
Meanwhile, Microsoft themselves doesn't support IE11 anymore.8
In 11th grade I had a shitty teacher who would make students go away from this one computer he always used in the computer lab. It was pretty annoying because he only ever used it to watch YouTube videos of fuckall Bollywood news and other garbage like it.
It was extremely annoying and inconvenient to everyone.
One day, I went to his PC, when he was not there, and reallocated the default way to open all .exe files to nothing, using the Windows Registry.
He came back and saw that none of his applications work and his PC is basically unusable now.
It was extremely funny for a few days to watch the IT guys try to fix but they weren't able to.
Now I don't know what they told the school but a month later they bought a completely new CPU and placed it instead of that one.
So fucking stupid.2
The IT policy at my company is down right ridiculous. You’re required admin rights to fucking move desktop shortcuts to the trash, all chrome extensions and almost anything you download from the internet is a ‘virus’, good luck getting driver support for external devices.3
Was very excited to receive my new work laptop. Everything is in French and I don't even have admin rights!
I guess they trust me with writing SW for their cars but when it comes to customising my own pc a team of IT guys should supervise me.1
Am I the only one who hates dealing with IT support guys... they think you are like Jon snow and now nothing of IT5
Never work in IT support.
I just had to explain to a computer science professor how to open a PDF on an mac :O2
So I'm wired into an ethernet box downloading an update via command prompt on a fucking ancient corporate laptop I pulled from the legacy gear dumpster that's about 20% original hardware. I get pulled aside by some loser and told that they just called security, who will detain me and confiscate my laptop. He says he's going to call his boss to fill him in. He calls, my phone rings. I laugh in his face, light a cigarette, flash my ID (my drivers license on a company lanyard) in his face and say "that'll be pretty hard since I'm your boss." I think I might have been able to see his soul exit his body. Side note- I was not his boss, I'm an infosec engineer of decidedly middling abilities and just try to practice my social engineering skill regularly...5
var _self = Object.create(Rant);
Hello devs I'm back
A few months ago I joined a software development company and I was pretty specific that I wasn't going to do support or maintenance only feature development, well, this past 3 months I've been doing dev helping stablish good practices and a better architecture for the app, but guess who is joining a support team tomorrow, they sold me the idea of a refactor team, I was trilled and accepted, now they tell me it's a legacy bug fixing team, damn I hate this crap, hope y'all doing better5
Father's friend ask if I'm gonna open printing and scanning press when I'm done with IT degree.
I said yes to avoid been his tech support1
I feel like an old man when I hear the Safari rants.
"In my day we had to support IE 6... and we liked it!"4
Really excited about Google Chat/RCS.
My mobile provider is probably the first one to support it in Austria!10
Everyday tech support struggles:
- "I can't find my document."
- "Ok where did you save it?"
- "In Word."
- "I understand you saved it in Word but where did you save the file to?"
- "I'm not sure, Word did the rest"3
I wanted to get Linux since I'm collaborating with my brother and he uses it, so it will be easier to help him. Wasn't working. Emailed Razer customer support. Apparently my $2,150 laptop doesn't support Linux.16
Back when I lived in my university dorm I shared my room with internet admin. Usually I helped people with internet problems when he wasn't there and I've placed FAQ on the door how to fix common stuff with a little note, that I can help only with internet problems and only with those that aren't listed. It worked for most people, but one guy knocked and messaged me around 5 times a day to fix his system. So I've decided to finally do what he wants.
He: come on, I heard from XYZ that you are an admin in job and you fixed her computer.
Me: but I work only with servers
He: what's the difference? Just copy my photos to my external drive and install new system on my laptop, just like you do it in job.
Me: so this is that simple job?
He: yup, but I need a laptop tomorrow, because I have something to do at the evening.
I've used find to copy all the photos from his HDD and installed minimal Debian without xorg on the laptop. He hasn't come back after picking up his computer. And that's the way to get rid of leechers that whine for fixing everything because you are IT guy :D1
Once a customer called me and said "I asked you www.customercompany.com and not with this shit of http://... at the beggining".
Finally upgraded my webserver and php modules to support HTTP/2 ^^ Everything works fine.
Found out devrant.com doesn't support it though. @dfox8
One years free HTML5 support comes with their CCTV cameras apparently. Hate it when website designers don't check work.7
Hetzner. Very cheap no nagging, no support bullshit, Lots of options, Just does what it does.
Did I mention their pricing?6
When you raise a ticket with your support team that your prod server is currently down and they mark it as a medium request, like dude... seriously?! Get it sorted ASAP paleaaaaase4
Coworker: I yelled at Sony for the PS3 having 7 USB ports... I said that devices only need 2 USB ports. But now, I have this laptop here that has two USB ports and I'm yelling at it! So who's the hypocrite?
Coworker: Sony. Though to be fair, this laptop was made back before we really needed a lot of USB ports. Keyboards and mice were PS/2.
Me: What about printers?
Coworker: They have printer cables....
Me: WHICH ARE USB!
Coworker: ....Oh yeah...2
I'm sad that StackOverflow is removing OpenID support. I've run my own OpenID server for years, and I've slowly watched support get removed from all the sites I previously used it to login to.
Goodbye open, distributed, authentication standards.3
New to dev's world... Need your support to sustain...In it.. 😀
Love to be a part of this ... Geek mythology...
Abbr dev's:: devil's 😘3
Continuing my rant from Yesterday....
As I was strolling though Walmart yesterday...
Tech Support 1: $Customer is having issues with their tablet they bought from us.
Tech Support 2: tell them to shut it off and shut it back on
I've been writing tests all week.
I quite like writing tests in some respects, but I absolutely detest it if the thing I'm testing is a moving target! Stop changing your mind! Either we support the feature in it's entirety or we don't support it at all!
New years resolution: no more tech support period. No one appreciates it and if anything breaks in the future youre expected to fix it. Lol, no thanks2
Thank God it's Friday and my brain is toasted from this specific email to IT department which I had to call to get more details. Here are the parties involved.
1) Original sender (OS), 2) Sender to IT (SIT), 3) IT (Me)
SIT: Can someone from IT print this for OS? She's having issue printing.
Me: It's just an image file in the email. What issues is she having when trying to print?
SIT: Idk. She said she's having issues printing.
Me: Yeah, but what issue? She can't connect to printer, the file won't open or what? Can you ask her what the issue is?
SIT: *hold on...comes back... She just said that again..issue printing..
Me: Well, we need to know what issues it is so we can fix it. In that case she can print and not keep sending documents or files to someone else to print. Btw, did you try printing the image file?
SIT:Since she said she's having issue printing I figured to send to IT to fix the issue and print. I didn't print it.
Me: 😕😂🤔🤨😒..what? First of I still don't know whatever issue she is having. Second, you should try printing it and if you also have issues, let me know.
SIT: Ok how?
Me: *shows her how to get
SIT: Thanks it printed. Now I'm also wondering what issue she was having because this was easy to print..
Me: Can you transfer me to her phone?
Now pay attention here. She is SIT's boss.
Me: Hi OS, what issue are you having when trying to print the image file in your email? I'd like to fix it so you don't encounter that issue from now on..
OS: No issues. I was too busy to do it so I asked my secretary to do it.
Me: So you can print image files with no issues, correct?
OS: Yes.. actually I just printed my a picture my daughter sent me.
Me: Ok, have a nice..
*I call SIT back
Me: She's all set
SIT: Thank you so much fo fixing her issue.
Me: She didn't have any issue. She can print fine..
Me: Have a good day, SIT..
😂😂😂😂 I was WOWED!!!6
The contractor/developer sitting next to me asked for a power adapter for the MacBook the company issued him (it's an older MacBook that currently connects to his monitor with one of those 2-in-1 power and display port cables).
They told him it was not company policy to provide power adapters to contractors.
They also wouldn't give him a license for a Windows VM for some Windows specific stuff he needed to work on for an outside vendor, stating it was a "security risk"
They've also talked about taking Linux off my laptop (which I run natively outside a VM cause fuck MacOS).
I hate our IT department. They're the least competent and least helpful bunch I've ever met.1
Visual Studio Code !!
It has tons of features, form keybinding, to language support
I just love the inbuilt terminal support
And with git integration and some plugins, there's absolutely no need for separate git client
Manager X: (logs a support ticket) "Agent is unable to access system using the password provided."
Me: "You're going to have to narrow it down a little, we have over 1000 active agents."
I hate the support side of my job...
Writing hebrew in Latex using a template that doesn't support UTF-8 is the most archaic shit I've done lately. I feel like some sort of a caveman.
This fucking encoding inverts all letters so it can support right to left. 😓4
Gotta love it when your client tells his whole company that they can contact you for any question related to computers. I'm a fucking developer and no first level Microsoft Windows support.2
I used to work in IT support during my training, this is the most accurate description of the job:
If everything just works people will be like "what do we pay you guys for?" And if something doesn't work: "what do we pay you guys for?" ...*sigh*2
I need a cloning machine for those days when 3 clients call support for top priority issues and each one needs it in the next 20 minutes2
Your Telerik Kendo UI has a bug? I can fix it. It shouldn't be difficult because there is just so much support and documentation.
Lady comes over to my cube and stands silently until I notice her in the mirror. She cheerfully asks that I help her reset her password.
Okay...one, I'm buried up to my balls in work that needs to be done, and here she is camping, expecting me to feel a disturbance in The Force to help on her whim, when our company has an issue system for shit like this. 👊
Two, I'm 👏 a 👏 developer 👏! My sign says Software Engineer on it, which might give some context as to why she forgot her password.
Look, I was nice to her. But it seems like I'm getting more and more phone calls and surprise visits lately from people that I shouldn't be.1
WTF IS THIS? Been popping up all day.... I tried googling but official support says to uninstall Office and Visual Studios....
WTF MSFT!!!! Quite frankly it feels even tech support at tech companies aren't very competent.... just staffed by a bunch of call center monkeys?5
How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?2
When you introduce support for MVC projects into a webforms application you've been working with for 4 years and it takes about 3 hours.
Either Java legacy support (even AI doesn't want to do that) or helping the German administration to finally upgrade their IT infrastructure to Windows 7.8
Spent 2 hours today doing L1 support work!!! God i hate working with lazy people!!!
2 hours wasted checking for an application bug on all deployed client pcs when the only issue is the printer has no fucking paper!!!
L1 and L2 support exists for these kind of issues!! Do your god damn jobs!!!
Hate it when customers are acting like they know everything about IT and then say things that make absolutely no sense ... 😡
I AM going to put parts of my SUPPORT request in CAPITALS to point OUT how annoy I am.
SORT IT OUT
Seriously FUCK OFF4
Had trouble to connect to our MySQL database, so I decided to open a ticket to the Database admins. At least they are pros and I'm sure they'll help me:
"Hey guys, I have trouble connecting to [Hostname]. I guess it's a firewalling issue would you take a look? Attached are screenshots, saying hostname not found.
Hey Dominique, are you sure the password you used is correct? Is it yours or the sysuser pw what you sent to the server? How did you send it?
Me: (kind of confused) Hey dear admin, did you look at my error message? It says Hostname not found. What do you think how I provided any credentials?
Support: yes, I saw your screenshot and don't see any password entry. That's why I asked!
Me: Well, than... ok... go and search for another job. Yeah and consider fucking yourself. Kisses.
Fuck those clients that send you support request emails without a single fucking . or , or /n in it!2
I allowed my previous employer to move me from a developer position to a support role and I didn't even complained about it.6
Got my iPhone 7 today an directly proceeded to brick it. Got an issue open with 2nd line support that are going to get back to me tomorrow.3
If I hear the word "platform" one more time...
What you mean are products that support varying use cases.
IMO, it's more difficult to build/support one application that supports 3 different user types, than it is to have 3 different well-scoped applications.
Pitching Preact for a client. They wanted us to use Dojo because they bought support for it and I was like OH HELL NO FUCK NO
i strongly recommend considering multi language support before starting a project. implementing it afterwards istn't that much fun as anticipated4
I've always wanted to do something in IT Support, but I didn't know where to start. I've been helping my co-workers optimize their system and even helped retrieve photos from a tablet that had a broken screen; her service plan said along the lines of "if they weren't there they were lost," I was able to retrieve them in a matter of hours (Really guys! I'm shocked! It was just a broken touchscreen, the storage was just fine. I think I'll remember this moment).
And because my growing impopularity, I started a new business called The Webnician. The company is split into two sections, the Technician, and the Web Developer. Hence, The Web(Tech)nician. I am proud of my name choice.
Then I wanted to become a certified technician, so I did some research on how to become one and found out I need to take the CompTIA A+ 220-901 and 220-902 exam and... I couldn't be more excited!
I've always loved computers, and maybe my late father had some say into it. Nevertheless, I am excited to begin my journey, even though it took awhile to find where I needed to go. I hope you all can follow me on my journey and support my new business.
I don't have anything else to say, so I'll just leave here.1
In a call from customer support to SRE:
"...is it possible to reboot the whole server with the exception of an instance?"1
How can you be expected to develop software and monitor it whilst providing customer support. How about recruit. (2 man team)5
I like it when our developer goes out to meet the customer himself for on-sight support. He gets a first-hand experience of CustomerRant4
Fuck you MySQL and mariadb!
Where is the support for full join.
Really needed that and discovered noooo MySQL the most used free shit does not want to support it!
Almost made me switch from Debian to Windows server!8
Damn java 9 is such a pain in the arse. First there isn't official support for NetBeans which used to be my primary java development ide. Had to move to intelliJ for that jdk 9 support. Then came xamarin and visual studio. And guess what they don't support jdk 9. So now I need to have two sets of jdk to keep my work going. I don't understand the point of having a stable release if there is no widespread support. I mean sure visual studio is Microsoft problem but NetBeans is available from official oracle website. At least they should be able to integrate support for it.3
When people tell me they're computer illiterate, they either know their exact Windows version to the Service Pack and can utilize the task manager effectively or they don't know that their computer desktop is different from their browser homepage. There is no in-between.
I wish Outlook had autocomplete...
Isn't it time even Word and other apps support basic autocomplete..?11
It's time to release backdrop-filters. Please. Pretty please.
You already support the feature (although a little glitchy) with experimental flags enabled. Can't you finish it? Is it that difficult with your so very limited personal and budget (sarcasm)? At least that could be an excuse for Firefox.
FUCK YOU mysql 8 and your fucking shit caching_sha2_password, could you at least update your fucking drivers to support it!6
I actually don't mind setting up the printer. What I do mind is when they call me when the computer won't even turn on. Like I have spare power supply's just lying around.1
I have spent so much of my past week trying to fix bugs or issues with iOS Safari that it seems to have justified my hatred for it.
1. FUCKING SUPPORT WEBP IMAGES YOU PIECE OF SHIT!.
2. Why do you not support IntersectionObserver in less that iOS12.
3. Why is background-position: fixed such a problem for you? Just why?5
hello friends i building my first app support me and install it ;
Made with ♥️ 😂
That moment when the CTO rants about php and you ask them to name one of their grievances. And they say:
"It doesn't support private properties."
Just received an email from a high maintenance client - this is verbatim what I've just read:
"If I could pull out my Windows vista and then plug in a newer windows system without any stress I'd go for this. Do you do this service? I could pay you for an hour to come my business, Unplug, Plug in and sort this out etc etc. It sounds like a quick job to me."
Note I'm a software developer, nothing to do with day to day IT support stuff. The client's business property is a 45 min drive from my own.
So basically, according to my client I can charge a single hour (£85.00 +vat) for a 90 minutes round trip, to migrate their PC to a newer operating system and move all their data and apps over and then setup the new OS. All for £85.00 +vat. All excluding the fact I
What the literal heck. I'm face palming all over the place.5
Monday...Wasted...VDI not working and IT team still have no clue what the hell is going on..
What a sucking support system.3
Google should really add support for Linux on Chromebooks. I don't see a reason to pay £1k for a Pixel Book just for build quality and great looks. However, having native Linux support and being able to use something more useful than ChromeOS would be hugely attractive and I would consider buying it.5
Ha! Our Ops Support DBA Manager just asked (tongue in cheek) "if we are now supporting MS Access, too?" To which of course, the answer is no. Business user who install Access on their desktop and use it for business, get to provide their own support. As their Dev DBA, I'll be more than happy to help them migrate their data to SQL Server, Oracle, or Teradata, depending on the Use Case for the data. But, no, we don't support Access. Ever.
> Can you help me make this excel document more readable when it's printed? *looking to change the text size and column widths*
Who do you think I am, Mr fucking clippy? Why are you printing it anyway? Step into the millennium and email it to them you fucking nugget, save the planet.
This was after three people already approached my desk in a line, five minutes after I got in. All asking stupid questions, which not only do they have a service desk for but could quite easily Google.
If you refused to pay for extended support there's no need for us to "Fix" a problem on your app when there's a new IOS or Android version released.
Sure it might work and no we can't future proof it.
Just pay for extended support and no that's not part of the development.
Anyone here in IT that had to deal with Windows 7 PCs magically lose their nic drivers overnight? Had 10+ PCs I had to manually reinstall drivers after an overnight patch. What kind of sh*try upgrade was this and how did it happen?2
3 months ago i started as a helpdesk support for a business application. This week i'm promoted as Junior Programmer worked hard for it but it paid off :)
Once I redirect all hosted websites on a server to a old website without know about it . Off course the clients realize it.2
Question: what do you think of Flutter? Ever tried it? It sounds good so far, although it has limmited support (as far as I can tell)6
My face when I went to install Oracle’s JDK 9 on a 32-bit Windows 7 laptop and found they don’t support it anymore:
I like the idea of it but for tech support this won’t work. Ugh I just wish they could make a GUID for every NVR model.
Does somebody know a good micro PC? I don't know if that is the right name for them, basically a pc with the size of a big usb stick. For example to run a small TeamSpeak oder some other server sided software.9
Spent 8 hours trying to implement a SPI slave on a Raspberry Pi before finding out it only supports SPI as master. WTF why say you support something then only support half of it! That's the kind of thing that needs a big red text in the docs! Fick this hardware bullshit I want back in to web developing.
Just discovered a public API that support perpage parameter.
Immediately try 99999
And……… it works!
Getting everything in one go!
Good dev on the other side
<rant>When they tell you its 50% development and 50% web support and 2 years later it's 10% development, 40% web support and 50% IT support. F*** this new Oracle till system.</rant>
Whisper's support is slow that i think it does not exist.
PS: Give people options to delete their own damn data folks.
Any chance we can get iPhone X support on the app. It feels so bad with the top and bottom cut off2
Working in IT Support (1nd, 2nd and 3rd Level) for 3 years. It helped me to understand the customers needs a Lot better.
Why would anyone want to study and have years of experience in boring-ass jobs like QA, BI,specific enterprise applications consultant(e.g SAP/Salesforce), PC technician, helpdesk, integrator or sales.
I understand people who lack experience in more sexy stuff and have no choice, or do this temporarily. But I met some people who do it for years out of their own will. Why? There are far more interesting jobs in the tech world.
Coworker: *Watching a DefCon talk*
Me: *walks over and notices an image on the slide of a woman sticking a cotton swab in her mouth with text saying "get paternity testing"*
Me: Paternity testing? But that's a woman!
Coworker: *silent for a second* What? Oh! *gets closer to screen, chuckles*
Coworker: It actually took me a second to catch that because I wasn't looking at the video, I was looking at the side "related videos" or the ad and I was like "no... did you mean Penetration Testing?" But even then, this is DefCon, so there aren't any women--or at least less than 3. And then I saw it in the corner and was like "Oh, I see it. But yeah, Paternity.... Oh wait..."
Me: Jeez, it really did take you a while...
Coworker: Yeah. All the while I was thinking "What the heck are you on," and then there was the "Oh, I get it" moment
Me: At least you got there
The first time I got a support call out on our 24/7 dev support I was half way up a mountain and the phone was at the bottom- it didn't go down to well.
Just turned on a client's computer and am shocked that they keep their logins straight. Basically there are two logins, but one says "$USER1's Girl" and the other says "$USER2's Man."
If I were them, I would be clicking on the one with my name, not looking for my SO's name...3
Customer Service(cs): clients complaining our site crashes on their computer
Support: they dont have enough resources, its their computer
CS: customers still complaining, how do we fix this?
Support: tell them to get a better computer
CS: lets borrow their information and see whats going on
Support: reluctantly moves customer data over
CS: I dont see anything wrong here. It works just fine
Support: ... ... ...
I gave computer tech support to a tech support person.
I don't know how I feel about this...
Like, Yo dawg, I heard you like tech support, so I gave tech support to tech support.
There is no story of tech support for my mom. Because I don’t live with my parents anymore, and my father is Head of IT where he works. So he does all the IT support at home 😂
IT Support here is funny. I click a link a in my email whilst they remote in to demonstrate something. They are baffled and have to copy the hyperlink through the context menu and do the exact same thing.
What did you think would happen? I tell them each link is the same so it doesn't matter which they click, they are adamant it matters. So they take both hyperlinks and paste into my browser (choosing IE!). Now they are baffled and I am on hold.
All I want you to do is make sure you don't change where our support emails go, that's all. I didn't even need help, just needed them to not change things 😂1
VPN access expired on Monday, can't access any client systems without it. Have to wait until weekend before access can be renewed.
God damn. One week, can't do anything effective!
I'm helping a customer who calls in all the time for support. At the end of a call this exchange happens.
Customer: So I have this game...
*Points at a solitaire icon on his desktop*
Customer: If we open that up, there's this little thing here...
*Game opens and there's an ad in the bottom right corner*
Customer: Can you get rid of that?
Me: I can't, not in applications like this. This is the free version of the software and add are how they make their money. If you did want to play without ads, Microsoft has the Solitaire Collection for free
*Makes shortcut to Solitaire Collection on desktop*
Me: There you go
The magic Apple Support:
A few days ago, I suddenly couldn't login to iCloud on my mac. I thought it was something that would be gone if I would try turning it back off and on again. Didn't work. Used the mac without bothering about it. I was too lazy to call the Apple Support and it didn't annoy me that much.
A day later, suddenly Spark (my email client) didnt work either, it asked me all the time to re-login into one of the accounts but "an authentication error occured". At that point I thought it was a problem with the keychain. Because i don't use email that often and the last time I should pay 30€ if I wanted to call Support (out of warranty), I just started using email on my phone.
Yesterday, MS Office (yes I use it and I like this Microsoft Product and I'm an Apple fanboy) wouldn't login either. I didn't call them.
Today, I had finally time to call them. They didn't want to charge me since I selected an Apple-Id Problem (and I think the Support Hotlines are free to call idk). The call from Ireland came 2 times and the connection didn't work (thanks iPhone). The third time, the moment the Support guy said Hello iCloud worked. A few second later Office and Spark worked again too. I don't know how these coincidences happen. Anyway, I am just happy my stuff works again and I don't have to use Google Docs and write my mails on my phone.
Support devRant feature - is it geographically restricted? Every time I try to enable it (like, every time over various days from various networks/places), I get an error...11
Customer (to me): I was talking to [my coworker] and he said to [generic fix]. I just wanted to let him know it worked!
Me: I'm glad to hear that--I'll be sure to let him know!
Me (to coworker): That person said your fix worked.
Him (an atheist): Thank Jesus... thank Zombie Jesus!
Me: More like "thank Barry Benson."
Coworker: Who is Barry Benson?
Me: *Googles Barry Benson to show him*
We both cracked up for like a full minute.
Hate it when the devRantron Mac client app doesn't support copy and paste. What devRant client do you use? Web, devRantron or mobile apps? Thanks!
Let's be real a second, hiDPI and multiple DPI display support on GNU/Linux (xorg) sucks.
It apparently has better support through Wayland but I hate gnome3 (does KDE implements Wayland? don't really care I don't like it too, way too heavy)2
Why the fuck doesn't React Native have proper date.toLocaleString() support!? Polyfills don't even seem to exist for it... Now I have to use a giant locales library just to support one locale that should be native. 😡
Am I allowed to ask tech questions? Because I can't get my fucking Acer to dual boot a Linux distribution. Tried mint and lxle. Both require I go into legacy mode to boot them from USB, so I can't install them that way... Any ideas?8
My uncle is a dba so gets it, my dad sort of gets it because he also works in the transport sector, my mom doesn't Really understand but knows it's computers. Everyone else thinks it's it support
Does every m2 socket support nvme?
I replaced the ssd in my hd notebook with a nvme one and it doesn't seem to recognize it..9
In react.js?... with react visual-DOM concept, does it fully support and work well with third party libraries ??6
I'm currently a fresher and just got an offer for support reliability engineer( tech support in simpler terms) and it pays 5 times the average in my country with lots of perks. Also it involves no programming. I'm interested in programming, should I settle for a developer profile which pays less or a tech support which pays almost the double?9
Have so many hats squeezed on that i think my blood supply has been cut off from my ... uh what's that called... you know, cpu's but for humans. Something with a b ...
I wish there was more support for porting Ubuntu mobile.
I wish I was experienced enough to port it myself(at least to my phone)2
Just installed DeepinOS in a VM. Holy fuck its gorgeous. Cant get enough of it. Not that fast in a VM, but didn't expect it to be.
Anyone using it? How's the software support and overall experience?3
TIL running a proper CRM and Customer Support channel is quite insanely expensive.
All the services charge per agent.
And if you add their other services like email marketing, the price just shoots up.
Had to pull a jugaad, and currently have it split between 3 different platforms - hubspot for customer support, sendinblue for email marketing and zoho for free custom domain email.3
How is it that years of development are not enough for NewRelic to add native support of mssql metrics in their unholy newrelic nodejs agent.????!?!?11!
On the other hand "important" databases like PostgreSQL are having native support.
Excuse me... WTF!!!!2
When I don't code with IDE support, I will be like is it NullpointerException or NullPointerException
Any one ever heard of the Solo? It's basically an open source FIDO compliant U2FA usb (with planned support for PGP/SSH key storage!).
The guys who made it are now miniaturizing it into the "Somu" (Secure Tomu).
Please support it! It's a great project and a great (and cheap) addition to basic system security.
Let's discuss devrant's new ui , upvote if you support the previous one and vice-versa.
I feel it hinders a lot while scrolling.1
Any recommendations for cloud backup? I want somewhere I can backup my Linux NAS. Backblaze (personal, not B2) would be amazing if it had any support for Linux.3
Has anyone experiences with hardware entropy generators like OneRNG.info? Any useful usage scenarios? VeraCrypt doesn't yet seems to support it.1
In a legacy application i support written in classic asp, the guy who wrote it names his variable 'ok2go'
where d heck was he going? 😞😞😂1
Form an Italian Tech support.
If we will find some moths it it also possible to talk of bugs.