The highest rank achievable.

git status
git add .
git commit -m "Minor changes.."
git push
...
git status
*closes terminal*
...
"Fuck that char in that variable name isn't meant to be a capital!"
*makes change*
git status
git add .
git commit -m "Minor changes.."
git push
...
git status
*closes terminal*

int yourMum = 10;
for(int boner = 0; boner < yourMum; boner++)
{
print("Fucked her last night m8");
}
return CallOfDuty.Instance.CurrentGame.Disconnect(DisconnectOptions.PULL_THE_PLUG, new Salt(SaltOptions.MAX_VALUE));

BA: we have 16meg download yet mine is only going at 2..
Me: sounds about right.
BA: are you an idiot?
Me: *I don't need to explain myself to scum like you*

When adding line breaks to a string that get injected into a html view I always use \r\n instead of just \n. Cus I know one day some smart motherfucker will download one of my webpages with a console app and log out the html to the console to make sure it worked. And when that day comes.. I will have won.

When your girlfriend takes notes for you over the phone so you don't forget it before you get home.

Personal projects..

Gf: Which way do you round 4.5 up or down?

Me: (int)4.5;

Gf: Ffs the proper way!

Me: Math.Round(4.5);

Gf: Fuck off.

When you meet a senior dev that's far superior to you in every way.

FUCK YOU MR ROBOT JUSY TELL ME EVERYTHING THATS GOING ON THAT YOU HAVENT TOLD ME YET FOR FUCKS SAKE I JUST WANNA KNOW NOW!!!

Me greeting a female friend with a joke: Hey baby, wanna play with my python?
Her: Only if it's well commented and production ready.
Me: I love you.
Her: I know.