im a senior c# .net dev and i wear glasses.
i can c# and cant c# at the same time.
ha! beat that!

Delivery date is tomorrow!

What language do you hate the most and why is it Java?

all unit tests passing

I make things I'm not proud of.

Source Control : FTP

index.php
index-16-05-2016.php
index.old.php
index.fix.php

Dig it.

Worst part of my job is working with developers who write unnecessarily complex and non-maintainable code.

Anyone else put in headphones with absolutely no intention of listening to anything, just to make people less likely to bother you?

Relationship problems

much hacking. wow.

PM promises be like

Knock knock.

Who's there?

*long pause*

Java!

What end users seem like

Make sense ...

Everyone always says the previous developer was crap, sometimes you're right

When your music is just right and you're coding without interruptions and feel like a wizard.

When somebody tells you a URL and starts by saying "H" "T" "T" "P" ":" "/" "/"

Don't fall for it.

Product manager had me spend an hour setting up his machine for rails development. Then walk him through all of our workflow. He then proceeded to make some changes to a header tag content. Made a pull request while I was holding his hand. Then he walks out of his office acting like he just won a national championship and proceeded to talk about how he was basically a developer for the next hour interrupting work.

Can I claim Spotify on expenses?

What happens when is debugging time.

Suck it up and learn.

I wish I could put this much effort into my job.