On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

i dont like it :((

I will bring my minecraft ocelot plush to the office for this purpose.

so true!!

So, in my spare time I run a little helper business that teaches children/teenagers how to program.

Theres a new kid that's been coming for around about a month, and I swear the kid is a programming deity.
He picked programming and more importantly developing remarkably quickly.
Long story short, I paid for him to go to a Hackathon in LA and he now has more business contacts than me.

Just got back from vacation...

git pull

Me using CSS to refurbish an old site...

programming languages are not designed to talk to computers, they are designed to be readable by other programmers.

please code like it.

When the 15min stand-up meeting is 30 mins long

just stay away from me, you and your bloody hardware

Who all want "++" instead of "+1" 🤔

Why did the developer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays

SEO is the Scientology of the internet.