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Search - "stand up"
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Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?
Teacher - Yes
A group of people stand up and walking to the door
Teacher - Where are you all going ?
Students - We are going to drop this class.41 -
The programmer and the interns part 2.
We will discuss numerous events that happened over the past week or so.
Case 0:
We had our weekly engineering meeting. The interns were invited as well.
We hold meetings in the generic, big, corporate meeting rooms with a huge table in the middle.
There were more than enough chairs for everyone yet the most motivated and awkward intern (let's call him Simon) chose to stand, cause "it's cool man, I always stand". At this point we all know that he probably read about Agile stand up meetings and is confusing it with this one. Otherwise he's simply trying to stand out from the rest. (See what I did there?)
Anyway the meeting has started way later than planned (what a surprise) and took much longer than Simon expected. Everybody is sitting and listening to the CTO while occasionally glancing at the weird looking intern standing awkwardly and refusing to sit because it would make his original intentions pointless. He even tried to nod whith a serious face and his hands crossed when the CTO said something and looked at his general direction. The meeting was about a hour and a half long but with the delay it was at least 2.5 hours.
At the end Simon was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the office puff, was forgotten and locked inside. 3 hours later when I was home I received a call from him with his sleepy-trying-to-sound-awake voice telling the news. Lucky there's a 24/7 Noc team that could rescue him.
Case 1:
An intern who was late on his Linux test connected to every test VM (should I remind you that each one has a personal VM but they share passwords for their roots?) and tried to reset it with "sleep 10s; shutdown -h now".
He took down all 13 of those so I had to turn them on and switch passwords again.
Case 2:
One of the interns didn't do any of his training chores. Apparently he forgot what he was told to use, ignored all online documentation and used Windows CMD with Linux commands for almost a week already.
Case 3:
Simon uses Vim to write all text possible. Even mails, he then selects all and copies into the mail body. He spent half a day on a homework task I gave them. He wrote everything inside one text file using Vim. When he was done he saved the file and quit the editor. He then said "Oh shit! I've forgot to sign my name!". I explicitly told him that theres absolutely no need for that because I see which mail the file was sent from. He said "I don't even need a program for that!" and gave a couple of strokes on the keyboard.
Later I received an email from him with a .txt attachment. When I opened it the only text that was inside was "by Simon ;)".
I logged to his machine and checked the last command ran on the file:
echo "by Simon ;)" > linuxtasks.txt
Case 4:
The girl here uses a MacBook. She keeps getting confused with the terminal windows and rebooting her own machine instead of the remote VM.
Case 5:
Haven't checked yet how this happened but one of the interns deleted the gui from his local Centos.33 -
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I repeat
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I think we have a problem here.
*music intensifies*11 -
After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎3 -
I’ve been inspired by programming many times, but a few early moments really stand out for me. Some of those most memorable early moments came when I developed Flash games with my friend in high school.
Growing up, at this point in time, around 2005, Flash games were really hot. All the kids in my school played games on addictinggames.com during any classes that took place in the computer lab, and when my friend and I started making games, it was our dream to get a game featured on addictinggames.com.
When one of our early games ended up getting featured, we were absolutely ecstatic and I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing our own work on this game website that we loved for years prior and that so manly people at our school used. It was the coolest thing and I think went a long way to encouraging me to continue to want to create things, after seeing the impact we were able to make with a simple game (as two high school students).
And I think that shows the beauty of the internet today and the power people with few resources have to get stuff out there. I think it’s maybe gotten harder as of late since there’s probably more competition, but I also think the audience is ever-growing and I hope many more people get to experience that awesome feeling of having something you worked hard on become popular.14 -
!Rant
Thought this was kind of funny for us lady devs/programmers, and something we can relate to.
The lady in the image is an engineer/programmer and is getting married but doesn't have any girlfriends (since she works in a mostly male oriented field, like us). So instead of having female bridesmaids she had her close brogrammers / college classmates stand up in her wedding with her. I mean, it was probably less drama, anyways! 😂
I'm the only girl on my team so I def relate!
*not my pic*26 -
Wasn't there myself. Came back after weekend or being sick or something and after the daily stand-up one of the guys came to me:
"hey man not to be rude or anything but we're not going to use your code for the project. You're programming in a wrong way."
They explained me where I was going wrong and then it appeared that my study taught me some principles of PHP programming wrong.
I felt like shit, downish and had to fight the tears because I felt quite humiliated.
Looking back at it, they were completely right.12 -
I once had a manager who would, at every stand up, ask everyone if there was a better way to solve their problem. She did this even if the team had already decided on a solution or even if there was no problem at all. She wouldn't let us continue the stand up until we had proposed a new 'solution' that was close to her 'suggestions'.
Some of my favorite suggestions were: "Are you doing everything you can to not make it too 'spiffy' ?". If you said yes the follow up was always: "can you tell me how?"
Then when you said you hit a bit of a bump yesterday due to something unexpected she always demanded that you pair programmed today. Now I don't have anything against pair programming, I even think it's useful from time to time, but being forced to sit next to someone or have someone sit next to me every time someone encountered something unexpected annoyed the shit out of me. Needless to say no one had any problems to speak of during stand ups after a while.
Whenever I was sparring with one of my colleagues she would always join in and start proposing 'solutions' about technical problems she didn't even understand. Again, she wouldn't back down until we had accepted her 'solution'. We would then go to a different room and hope she wouldn't find us there.
This went on for months, until several people had disagreed with her so much that it ended in shouting matches.
It still makes me angry when I think of one person crippling a team that much. I took my issues to her, to HR and finally to the CEO directly, but no one did anything about it.
Finally one of my colleagues decided to quit. After he handed in his two weeks notice our manager came to me and asked if she could talk to me in private.
She told me that she didn't understand why our colleague quit and she thought everything was going great. This was after just about everyone had told her that they hated how she acted and that if she wouldn't stop they'd quit. I had told her that myself twice.
She then proceeded to tell me that I was the most valuable employee and that the company couldn't go on without me. As a gesture of their appreciation for my invaluable effort, she was so generous to offer a salary increase of 50 euro, before taxes.
I laughed, said no and handed in my two week notice the next morning.
I vowed never to work with fucktards again, and I haven't since.7 -
That moment when you've been sat on the toilet reading devRant so long that your legs have gone dead so when you try to stand up you faceplant the opposite wall :-/
devRant is bad for my health !
EDIT: what's more embarrassing is I lay on the floor writing this rant.7 -
Someone please shoot me right now.Or better a blackhole could just collide with earth right now and annihilate everyone and everything!
We are supposed to launch the app this coming Friday and as of Monday this week everything was OK.
Just yesterday this client came up with dozens of changes that demand a major rewrite of the backend.
The thing with this client is that she doesn't realize I deal with the mobile apps and not the APIs.Right now am headed to the management office to explain why the app is not updated after she sent this email today morning.
This is not the first time she has demanded changes a week to the launch and i feel like i should stand up to her but you know, i have bills to pay.8 -
This was at my first internship (was fired later for other bs reasons).
They got me as a programming intern but very soon I felt very conflicted with multiple things:
1. Got to google translate their internal CRM into five languages. After two weeks (the estimate I gave them) I discovered that I overlooked the second half, apologized and got a whole shitstorm at my face.
2. Was only allowed to use Internet Explorer for everything *cry face*.
3. Saw multiple security flaws in their main product, told my boss (also my internship manager) about it because hey, I'm security oriented and it might help them. Next day he called me into his office and I got a huge speech about who the fuck I am to criticize their product and that I was a security wannabee who doesn't know shit.
4. Boss came home after a product presentation went sideways. The interns didn't have anything to do with that but he called (or, yelled big time) us every dirty word he could think of and blamed us.
Luckily I was fired after like five weeks. I literally cried of happiness when I walked home. I was too shy to stand up for myself by that time (even only 2-3 years ago)14 -
Boss: I was looking over our expenses and was wondering why you are ordering a new piece of equipment?
Me: (I stand up & address my fellow code-drones) Can everybody save everything right now please. Good? Now newGuy commit your changes.
(Audible typing followed by the entire room groaning.)
Me: He just deleted everything...again and I am running out of backup storage.
Boss: ........So you want 1 of those things or 2?undefined raidlyfe raid webdesign boss ugh personal backups why do i bother git web development newguy webdev14 -
Employer: so why do you want to join this organization?
Engineer: well like i said in the first 4 interviews, I love desks. Sitting behind them. Standing behind them.
Employer: are you a standing or sitting man?
Engineer: i like to sit in the morning and then switch up to stand at lunch.
Employer: a man with a plan. Very good. Do you remember anything from school?
Engineer: not a goddamn thing.
Employer: perfect. You don't need math. Just emails. You like emails?
Engineer: love emails.
Employer: there's gonna be a lot of emails.
Engineer: can't get enough emails.
Employer: perfect. Do you like a clear separation between life and work?
Engineer: oh not at all. I like it to muddy together in a never ending hell.
Employer: alright and you're familiar with work culture?
Engineer: oh those hours i work for free?
Employer: yes.
Engineer: I love that bullshit.
Employer: alright terrific. And are you familiar with the hate hierarchy?
Engineer: yeah the tech's hate the engineers, the engineers hate the tech's and the managers hate everyb-
Employer: everybody. Perfect. Alright I- honestly I think we'd like to make an offer.
Engineer: well, first I gotta leverage that with my current employer for a raise. And if they don't budge, I'll jump shut.
Employer: no loyalty at all?
Engineer: not at all.
Employer: you're hired.5 -
In this case the person who quit was me.
Agency didn't pay the past 4 months, we asked at least the reimbursment of expences.
They told in a 2 hour arrogant speech that we must thanks them becouse they make us work even if they aren't paying. They said that "in this period these are the rules and we must accept this condition." So, I stand up, I went to shake the hand of the boss and others, I went to the door saying "good luck".
All the coworkers stand up and applauded.
Two months later the agency was closed declaring failure.6 -
Our manager is not a developer and he has no idea of what we are doing most of the time, but he thinks that stand-up meetings are the coolest way to control us.
Sometimes coworkers joke about his lack of knowledge and today I think we reached the highest jerk level: «Yesterday I opened a new branch on the git repository and today I'll continue on this task».
I struggled to stay serious on my turn.12 -
Got my VisionTek Radeon 7750 today! Held my breath during the amd drivers installation on Linux (KDE Neon) but it all went well.
Rebooted, all screens (4 right now? upgrading to 6 soon) black.
Closed eyes, opened after 10 seconds and BAM, first display is working.
After some settings tweaking I've got 4 monitors up and running now, waiting for new hardware for two more.
Also waiting for a hex monitor stand ❤.
AMD, thanks for providing stable and working drivers for Linux for free!11 -
So today I got really triggered when i hear this guy say that coding is cancer. I stand up and instantly the first thing going through my mind is that it's the battle of the nerds. He says he tried ALL of the programing languages out there and they were shit. I asked if he tried C# and he still says coding is cancer even though he has never even heard of any C# syntax. I asked if he used Batch as a started language and he still says it. So I just decided to roast him by saying "did you put .bat at the end of the file when you were saving? Oh wait never mind, I forgot your lazy ass doesn't have the intelligence to understand how to save"
Surprisingly everyone was silent and most likely didn't understand what I had said. So I just left wondering if he even bothered to get a guide on syntax for any of the languages he would have liked.5 -
Infinite loop...
Got a story assigned with no requirements listed this sprint. Since I finished the rest already I was like, lets be pro-active and see what it's about during the stand-up.
Me: Hi, I only have story X remaining, what's it about, there are no requirements listed in Jira?
SM: Yeah person Y is going to reach out to you with the reqs.
Me: Ok, when is Y going to reach out?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, so why is the story included in this sprint then?
SM: Because they want X implemented this sprint.
(Me wondering if the Scrum Master is familiar with infinite loops, thinking let's try this out)
Me: Ok, if X should be completed, can Y reach out to me with the requirements?
SM: Y doesn't have time now, will probably be in 2 weeks.
Me: Ok, why is the story included in this sprint then?
Stand-up lasted a lil' longer today... Hope the SM got the message not to assign stories without reqs or clear communication anymore.5 -
Things I like about WFH
-save petrol and mileage
-work in underwear
-big TV during lunch
-time saved by no commute
-lie down during meetings
Things I dislike
-feel like my room has been invaded by work/miss the physical separation of work and home
-distractions and temptations
-they moved the stand up to ealier because of WFH
-Everything has to be a meeting. No just popping by someone's desk with a quick question
Sometimes I miss physically seeing my colleagues/getting out of the house but not often11 -
Let's see here, we have:
🤡 Creepy Cackle Guy: watches videos all day and cackles like a hyena, plus constantly farts, and complains a lot. He gets everyone gassed up, no pun intended.
😤Bitchy PM: argues with you about every little thing, lies to pad her metrics while screwing the dev's metrics over. Also lies about what clients say to force launch or what she feels client should do. Rude to clients & co-workers. Runs and tattles to higher ups when people call her out on her shit. Nobody can stand her, she get's the entire office upset.
🙉Darth Vader: I don't think this one needs explaining. He breathes SO freaking loud you can hear it across the room. He also won't talk to anybody. Ever.
🤐The Non-Stop Flapper: nice person, but chats you non stop about their mundane life events, even when your status is set to busy or they know you're swamped. Asks irrelevant questions all day, every day. Heart of gold but needs to reel in the chatting.
🤬 Mr.Rage: whines about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Has also thrown his food on me once over a joke about pizza. Wants to move up to programming but cant program.
---
So between them all, I scream on the inside daily. 🙊😫😢13 -
Best current career choice:
Quit to become a Freelancer.
OH BOY did I sleep bad directly after that decision - no contracts, no sales running.
Oh BOY do I now 2 days later sleep like a dam relaxed, happy baby :) - My network for the win!
The days before handing in my resignation I really looked forward to just leaving, but the actual task again was scary. Why? Cause until then future for me was bound to income, job=stable income = happy me, happy wife, happy child.
Now? Just 4 days later, If all goes to plan I'm already overbooked twice. Truth told!: Couldn't have done it without the network that I built over the years where I was employed. Let's see how this works out :)
I stand up with a huge smile each morning: Just a great feeling!5 -
I'm fairly certain my boss'.....boss (didn't want to count them.. it's high up the chain, and slightly lateral) thinks I'm incredibly weird. I have too many sports injuries to be fully functional and they all flare up while I'm sitting at my desk. To offset this, I stand up or walk around while on the phone, and occasionally stretch.
These stretches are for hip and it band, usually, which are a bit more involved, so of course he ONLY fucking walks into the damn office while I'm stretching. (Image search for hip stretch).
To top it off, I have an unfortunate colored ointment for the pain in my elbow that i was applying today while stretching, and im scared to know what he was thinking before he realized what was actually going on. Imagine hip stretching (this one with leg on desk) while rubbing milky sort of clear ointment into skin...
Sir, if you're reading this, I promise I'm not actually that weird at work, you just have shitty timing.5 -
"IT BROKEN!", the QA tester spoke in unintelligible broken English.
The developer asked for more details.
Then the QA person attempted to explain the problem in a surge of verbal diarrhea and horrible English.
Why do we hire people who don't speak the language of the development team as our QA people? I have nothing against devs and qa guys from India...but it makes my job really difficult when I can't even begin to understand what you are telling me, or even worse...you just tell me "IT BROKEN!" and don't give me a single bit of useful information on how to reproduce the error.
There was this wonderful QA person I used to work with. Her name was Ranjana. She was a beautiful Indian girl with two children, and the best QA person I ever worked with. She took screenshots, grabbed logs, and gave steps to reproduce everything she found. And then one day at stand up we were told she had died. And since then...there has been no one who has ever come close to her level of excellence.7 -
Lets get to know eachother, shall we..?
It's come to my attention that all we do is either rant, or post memes! Lets talk! D;
What's your favorite programming language?
How about spoken/written language?
Favorite band?
Song?
Do you sit or stand while working?
What's the last four digits of your SSN? Haha, jk..
What are you passonate about?
What projects (programming or otherwise) have you started/picked up/finished lately?
What else do you want to share?
Answer as many as you'd like~97 -
Does anyone else have this dilemma? Headphone cable is in the way whenever I type on my keyboard. It is such a small issue but it makes me fucking livid. Sometimes I tuck the wire behind mugs and water cups but it causes spills when I stand up and don't pay attention.32
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My own programming language (still WIP). I got SO excited when I found recursion worked, I even got the simplest factorial recursive function wrong. And then again, once arrays worked, bubble sort it was. I shit you not, once I saw all the numbers printed in order, I had to stand up and walk or I would have jumped out of the chair in excitement.
In case someone is interested, I use LLVM for the backend.4 -
In our morning stand up, dev was bragging about how much code he was refactoring (like over-the-top bragging) and how much the changes will improve readability (WTF does that mean?), performance, blah blah blah. Boss was very impressed, I wasn't. This morning I looked at the change history and yes, he spent nearly two solid days changing code. What code? A service that is over 10 years old, hasn't been used in over 5, mostly auto-generated code (various data contracts from third party systems). He "re-wrote" the auto-generated code, "fixed" various IDisposable implementations and other complete wastes of time. How –bleep-ing needy are people for praise and how –bleep-ing stupid are people for believing such bull-bleep? I think I should get a t-shirt made with a picture of a BS-Meter and when he starts talking, “Wait a sec, I gotta change my shirt. OK…you were saying?”5
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To the guy who shits religiously at 2pm everyday and leaves the door open, making me have to stand up to put an end to the foul smell:
alert("FUCK YOU");
And what's most disturbing is that I've grown accustomed to his shit's smell.
Shit.9 -
Every year, my company organizes an internal seminar week for its engineers and developers. I helped plan it this year and, since I also ran a few sessions, was absolutely exhausted by the end of the week.
On Friday of that conference week (after I'd spent four hours in our engineering building), I come back to my desk to discover that a coworker managed to, single handedly, get our boss to agree to shortening our release cycle to one that, without dramatic infrastructure changes, would require about 8x the developer overhead than today's. ...The test cycle I am supposed to pick up in a month.
When asked about it, he said he was so full of energy, why wait for automaton? What better way to inspire us to improve than to switch right now? The worst that can happen is just a few bugs.
I love my job, but I can't stand this guy. 😒4 -
OH: "We reduced daily standups to tuesday and thursday. Otherwise we have to stand up too much and this nearly counts as sport."
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With the cheese grater and $1,000 monitor stand getting a lot of the attention from WWDC, this ended up being a less talked about product.
Idk about you guys, but this is definitely a steal! Plan on getting a few of them when they are released.11 -
Are you a complete passive aggressive twat?
Are you 100% completely unable to stand up for yourself outside of the safety that a computer screen provides?
Are you a male and capable of only doing things that would take you in the absolute complete opposite direction of a vagina?
Are you a female and an insufferable twat?
Do you think that people's likes and dislikes are no better than yours?
Is your opinion better than anyone else's?
THEN BEING A DEVELOPER AND BEING IN DEVRANT IS JJJJJJJJUST WHAT YOU NEED!
Here in our community, the more full of shit that you are! the farther you will go up in popularity! Insufferable opinionated and biased assholes that could not throw a punch if their lives depended on it is LITERALLY WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!!
lmao, I swear man, some of y'all are just too full of shit.20 -
Stand up... Walk away...
The Coding Gods will deliver the answer to you when you are ready to receive it.2 -
Me: *Looks at calendar* Oh boy! A meeting free day - I can finally get X done!
Boss (after stand up): Are people up to do refinement and other Agile?
Been stuck in meetings all day (-_-)/
I miss actually doing my job.4 -
Recently, our team hired an arrogant trainee-junior to the team, who turned out to be mean towards the other developers and in a habit of publicly mocking their opinions and going as far as cursing at them. He steals credit and insults others. He openly admits he's an offensive person and not a team player. When someone from the team speaks, he might break into laughter and say demeaning sentences like "that's so irrelevant oh my god did you really say that? hahaha". Our team consists of polite and introverted engineers who cannot stand up to bullies. Normally this kind of behavior won't be suitable even if you work in a burger shop especially not from a trainee. Let alone trainee, the rude behavior of Linus Torvalds was not tolerated, despite him being in the top position and a recognized star talent in the IT field.
I personally no longer feel comfortable speaking up during teams meetings or in the slack team chat. I'm afraid my opinions will be ridiculed or ashamed - likely will be called "irrelevant". I respond only if I'm directly addressed. We have important features coming up, requested by the customer, but I feel discouraged to publicly ask questions - I sort of feel having to regress into contributing less for the product. I also witness that other younger developers speak less now in meetings and team chat. Feels like everyone is hiding under the bed. Our product team used to have friendly working atmosphere but now the atmosphere is a bit like we're not a team anymore but a knot.
Lesson I learnt from here is: There is a reason why some companies have personality tests and HR interviews. Our proud short boarding process was consisting of a single technical interview. Perhaps at least a team interview should be held before hiring a person to the team, or the new hire should at least be posed a question: are you a team player? Technical skills can be taught more easily than social skills. If some youngster is unable to communicate in a civilized manner for even five minutes, it should raise some red flags. Otherwise you will end up with people who got refused from other companies which knew better.22 -
I'm fed up of this shit. I'm a Bachelors student and I study in a class where no student wants to study. Like literally none. You'd think someone studying Bachelors degree would have some sense. But no. Not a fucking one of them. Our class requires a minimum number of students to attend to smoothly run the class. I am the CR and I can't convince them enough to even meet that level. How am I gonna get through these two years? I try to say something, everybody snaps at me for being a smartass. Which I'm clearly not. These are the same people who come at me when the courses to do finish in time. I am alone. I am getting too weak to stand against them. My self esteem is declining day by day. I am really insecure.13
-
I had a coworker that was an Air Force pilot (99% certain he was telling the truth as I was working for a government contractor and he had security clearance so I'd be a little surprised if he fooled HR and our whole team). Thing is... He genuinely believed the earth is flat. Whenever anybody would ask "haven't you seen the curvature of the earth? Like... More than once?" He'd respond with "yes I have, what's your point?". Uh.... Okay.
Didn't help that he also was convinced cpp is the only language you ever need for any project. Like, "what if instead of building a web API and two separate native mobile app frontends (Swift/Java)... We instead build our own proprietary C++ framework that somehow runs on IOS and Android and we can also use it for our Backend instead of .Net?"
I'm not saying I love Java or Swift or that at some point I haven't thought about why we can't just use cpp in both, but you're supposed to grow out of that kind of thinking. I think every noobie or college students thinks "oh there's got to be a way". But at some point in your career you realize even if you could, it wouldn't be any easier to use and the performance gain would crazy small compared to amount of effort and you'd be playing catch up with both IOS/Android forever.
But no matter how many times we'd shoot it down, he'd keep bringing it up. And he wasn't straight out of school or something. He had like 20 years of programming experience.
I don't have a lot of memorable co-workers that were positive but honestly I think that's because usually if they're good at what they do I don't have to interact with them a bunch or spend time thinking "Jesus what am I going to have to fix next from this guy". I definitely have worked with good/great programmers, they just don't stand out as much as the shitty ones.1 -
Enjoying the college life to the fullest was the mindset of the confident boy, who now burns the midnight oil to cope up with world and give himself a proud future.
Is this a story of some successful person, who has achieved a lot in his life?
No, it is the story of the guy who lost all his hopes of future after spending the very first month in his college.
The first month was enough to perceive the reality of the domain I got myself let into. It was enough for someone, who didn’t even knew what programming languages are, to realize how left behind is he from the people around him.
Being from a private college which hardly anyone recognizes, expecting them to prepare me to stand out lone would be foolishness. I took my first step and started learning my very first programming language , Python.
I met some people with similar interest .We discussed, we exchanged resources, we used to talk to seniors to guide us. And yes, we were guided.
There were many bad days. Days which made me regret about starting late. Many a times I myself confirmed me as useless and some other time people did. The good thing is I never stopped , and improved myself with each day.
And now, after spending more than a year in the same college, I look at the things I have learnt. Today I can develop decent websites, can train neural networks, can make me stand in good position in coding platforms.
All you need is to take a step.I may not be the best, but I am definitely better than what I was yesterday.
If you have started something, then concentrate on finishing it.4 -
worst part of working in scrum: trying to remember what you worked on Friday for Monday morning's stand-up meeting.2
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Being up for nearly 28 hours, because you are actually too tired to sleep and were too excited to just stand up and continue working again.. 😶8
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Today I broke our testing server.
I accidentally (don't even ask, I'm stupid) renamed the /lib folder and nothing worked anymore. Not a single bash-command. I had to shutdown the server and reboot it with a recovery-cd to rename the folder again. Luckily it all runs in a vSphere so I didn't even had to stand up from my desk.4 -
Our team makes a software in Java and because of technical reasons we require 1GB of memory for the JVM (with the Xmx switch).
If you don't have enough free memory the app without any sign just exits because the JVM just couldn't bite big enough from the memory.
Many days later and you just stand there without a clue as to why the launcher does nothing.
Then you remember this constraint and start to close every memory heavy app you can think of. (I'm looking at you Chrome) No matter how important those spreadsheets or illustrator files. Congratulation you just freed up 4GB of memory, things should work now! WRONG!
But why you might ask. You see we are using 32-bit version of java because someone in upper management decided that it should run on any machine (even if we only test it on win 7 and high sierra) and 32 is smaller than 64 so it must be downwards compatible! we should use it! Yes, in 2019 we use 32-bit java because some lunatic might want to run our software on a Windows XP 32-bit OS. But why is this so much of a problem?
Well.. the 32-bit version of Java requires CONTIGUOUS FREE SPACE IN MEMORY TO EVEN START... AND WE ARE REQUESTING ONE GIGABYTE!!
So you can shove your swap and closed applications up your ass but I bet you that you won't get 1GB contiguous memory that way!
Now there will be a meeting about this issue and another related to the issues with 32-bit JVM tomorrow. The only problem is that this issue only occures if you used up most of your memory and then try to open our software. So upper management will probably deem this issue minor and won't allow us to upgrade to 64-bit... in 20fucking1910 -
Public announcement: if you build shitty software and get called out for it, either fix it and stand up for it, or fuck off. Nobody needs your idiotic passive aggressive tone.
Thank you1 -
I had a job that was one big meeting for 6 months. I kid you not. We had our stand up, had another meeting that extended the stand up to discuss issues highlighted in the stand up, then we would have a scrum catch up type meeting then after that work until about 12 so an hour ish? Then a call after lunch to catch up about the work we’d done and make sure everyone was ok, then probably a backlog meeting, then likely a company wide meeting and then at about 4? Probably a meeting. I don’t know by this point I’d lost the will to live. One massive joke of a company I swear5
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Subversion should be burried so far beneath the ocean that even the oldest developer, who is so old that he can't even think about jerking off no more, because his beard is so long and thick as a curtain made of strong streams of wool, waying him done so much that his face would immediately smash down to the floor if he ever would ever again attempt to stand up, denying access to his wrinkled dick, can't find it no more.
And yet I still have to use it at my job.2 -
Tl;dr: I spent more than 2 hours and $429 on a book thats as thin as a pancake.
I needed to go to my campus to pick up my textbook from the school store for my Software Management class. The bookstore is in the building next to the construction site. I had to park on the opposite side of the campus and walk the 2.3 miles to the store, stand in line for 20 minutes to have them tell me that i need a printed out class schedule. I had to walk all the way back to the building next to where i parked to print out my schedule in the library. I then walked all the way back to the bookstore, and the line has maybe tripled in size. I stand in line nearly an hour to have them tell me that they no longer had rentals available for my book, even though i reserved one (they thought it was cool to just rent it to someone else apparently). So instead of paying $45 on a rental, i payed $429 for a brand new textbook that looks like a magazine. Its stupid thin, i could probably read and study it all in less than a week. Thinking of this, i ask the cashier about return policy. She says i can't return it, but i can sell it back to them within 10 days of purchase for about half the price i paid for it. I walk the 2.3 miles back to my car, decide to sell the book on Amazon or something after the semester, and once again leave my campus angry. I cannot wait to be done with this place.18 -
My tablet is lying on a table 2m away from me and I have to install a new app.. but I don't want to get out of my couch ffs! And I haven't configured dropbear in it yet, and neither do I have adb over TCP/IP. Well fuck it then. My desktop with BlueStacks.. hah, it's running fucking WanBLowS. No remote access there. Too much to ask of that certified pile of crap.
But the point is.. moar remotes, moar better 😋 anything to not have to stand up, taught by my ability to log into a server in Italy from the comfort of my couch. SSH and the sysadmin trade sure is nothing short of amazing ♥️5 -
Not a job, but an internship. It was a startup and the owner was very keenly involved with the development, to the extent that he took daily reports of what was achieved through the day, what was done, what bugs were fixed, what functionality added. Everything we did was supposed to be showed to him to justify that he wasn't wasting the (sub-par) compensation he was offering. I hated the feeling of someone breathing down my neck, judging me by the amount of code I wrote that day (I was team lead). It was all well and fine till the frontend was under development, but then we moved to backend developement. And the thing with backend is, you can't see shit. So, there really wasn't anything to point-and-show every day, except for long PHP scripts that didn't make sense to him. It came to the point that he once said "the work pace had dropped significantly and we weren't moving fast enough". This was when we were actually 5 days ahead of schedule! I literally wanted to stand up and say to him that if he wanted to get it done faster, he should look for someone else. The only thing that held me back was my University's grading system that made it compulsory for students to complete one internship for credits. Glad to be out of that craphole...3
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I'm going to kill management.
After a serious migration fiasco at one of our biggest costumers the platform was finally usable again (after two days instead of 10 hours) and, of course, users started to report bugs. So good old po came in ranting that we as qa did a horrible job and basically tried to fault us for a fucked up update (because we produced user pain, which of course not being able to log in didn't do). Among the issues: If the user has more than a hundred web pages the menu starts looking ugly, the translation to dutch in one string on the third submenu of a widget doesn't work and a certain functionality isn't available even if it's activated.
Short, they were either not a use case or very much minor except for that missing function. So today we've looked through the entire test code, testing lists, change logs and so on only to discover that the function was removed actively during the last major update one and a half years ago.
Now it's just waiting for the review meeting with the wonderful talking point "How could effective QA prevent something like this in the future" and throwing that shit into his face.
I mean seriously, if you fuck shit up stand by it. We all make mistakes but trying to pin it on other people is just really, really low.8 -
So, I'm living in a completely computer illiterate family and I was called to help my father with something on a Laptop where he wanted to stream his favorite Soccer-Club.
So I walk up to him, ask what's wrong, and he says (roughly translated from German) "That thing doesn't work!"
And I'm just like ((Wat u mean))
So I ask him to explain the problem in detail.
Apparently his streaming service wasn't loading his stream.
Well damn I say, try searching for the problem on Google and find a solution.
((But no no no imma just call my son for everything that's freaking wrong with tech, he sure knows what to do))
As I'm not that experienced with Webservices as of yet, I had no idea what to do.
He was fucking furious!
"You always act like you know everything about tech and programs and stuff and can't even help me with fixing this Stream-Thing?!"
I responded simply by saying "It's not my area of work!"
Seems like he didn't know the difference between TECH-JESUS and hobbyist software engineer.
So I stand there and he just goes on one of these typical boomer tech illiterate rants, of which I'm sure you can imagine enough being on this platform.
tl;Dr; It pisses me of big time how people are not even trying to understand technology, nor attempting to help themselves by eG. Googling some simple problem, but rather just ask around and then being pissed off if the asked person just doesn't know the answer or can't help!5 -
When you didn't do anything at work all day, but you need to think of a lie for tomorrow's stand up meeting.8
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Wish I could be Geralt in real life. Fighting ghouls, slaying griffins, brewing potions, repairing swords, helping people, getting laid and roaming across seeing wonders of nature.
Instead I'm here fighting with QA's, squashing bugs, brewing tea, wasting hours in stand-up, pulling my hairs out and finally trying to stay sane in an insane world 😐14 -
Hi yall! I've been here a while, but never actually posted anything. Love reading your rants though, always makes me giggle^^
Anyways, I'm a IT student and I got this new job as an IT-consultant.
So we had this big meeting today, together with the CEO and a lot of other new employees with different engineering profession... So everything went fine until the end. We were supposed to stand up and say our names, what we're studying and tell a fun fact about ourselves and I TOTALLY fucked it up... I kinda said my name, I completely forgot to tell what I'm studying and my fun fact was something about ppl having a hard time with my name. Like, wtf are you even saying dude?! All I wanted was to was write code, why can't I just do that?4 -
Who are the people who are pushing for phones, laptops and desktops to be even thinner? Do they actually exist?! Or are that mythical creatures invented by Apple engineers so they can get paid to invent new stuff?
"Yeah, we need to invent a new keyboard design as customers are complaining how fat our pro laptops are."
I don't think I've looked at a laptop built in the last decade and wondered how I'll carry it with my tiny frame.
Just give me a Mac Pro that is a solid chunk of aluminum with a removable drive and access to the RAM. It'll look fine and it's going to sit quietly on my desk. I promise not to move it without hiring at least two men with appropriate safety equipment.
I want someone to stand up at an Apple keynote and say, "We made this thicker---you're welcome."13 -
Story Time.
TL;DR - Because of Corporate PTSD, I replace the word "everyone/folks/guys" with "Team" when I'm addressing my colleagues, whether it be an e-mail or verbally (F2F/Zoom/GMeet).
In 2019, An office job I worked at, a new Vice President joined the company (the same one who told me he saw me in his dream).
We were required, on a daily basis, to form a circle and one-by-one everyone would out-loud say their yesterday's and current day's tasks updates.
So before the VP joined, everyone was free to initiate their turn however they wanted. Phrases like "Hey Everyone", "Good morning all" or "Hi All" was all around acceptable.
But the moment he started joining the stand-ups, he felt the need to change this phrase to a standard "Good morning Team". No other variations of this. Only and ONLY these three words.
Why you ask? Because saying Good morning is good manners and using the word "Team" strengthens the bond between co-workers and increases collaboration and creativity.
Some colleagues were bound to forget this and they did, which resulted in the VP blasting at everyone for doing so. He would show genuine rage over this, almost as if the company would go out of business because of us, not complying to do so.
Now imagine, you get up at 8 AM, get ready, commute, and get ready to speak for the standup and you get yelled at in front of everyone, FIRST THING before you start working.
Needless to say, it would kill everyone's spirit for getting their day started but nobody could speak up against him because obviously, he was the VP of the company then.
And oh yes, our CEO fired him 5 months after that because he (the VP) got slammed with a pedophilia-related lawsuit, by the parents of a 5-year old.6 -
So we have an API that my team is supposed send messages to in a fire and forget kind of style.
We are dependent on it. If it fails there is some annoying manual labor involved to clean that mess up. (If it even can be cleaned up, as sometimes it is also time-sensitive.)
Yet once in a while, that endpoint just crashes by letting the request vanish. No response, no error, nothing, it is just gone.
Digging through the log files of that API nothing pops up. Yet then I realize the size of the log files. About ~30GB on good old plain text log files.
It turns out that that API has taken the LOG EVERYTHING approach so much too heart that it logs to the point of its own death.
Is circular logging such a bleeding edge technology? It's not like there are external solutions for it like loggly or kibana. But oh, one might have to pay for them. Just dump it to the disk :/
This is again a combination of developers thinking "I don't need to care about space! It's cheap!" and managers thinking "100 GB should be enough for that server cluster. Let's restrict its HDD to 100GB, save some money!"
And then, here I stand trying to keep my sanity :/1 -
1. Remove chairs and tables.
2. Limit everyone to two minutes speech time.
3. When everybody got used to stand-up meetings, get down and plank.
Everybody will have a very strong interest in a quick and productive end to any plank-down meeting. 😁4 -
Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂3 -
3 hours in and I realize, I fucked up. I should have gotten another stand...
Middle monitor is a different model, but I didn't consider that the holes could be on different heights...14 -
Has anyone ever laid down and programmed? Like I’m one of the laziest programmers ever. You can always see me slouch in my chair to the fullest.
Thinking about asking my company for a super reclining bed chair and a VR headset instead of a $5,000 stand up desk.3 -
A morbid realization (I am just wasting your time keep scrolling)
Unless someone takes a stand for the user, and their comfort and requirements, unless someone looks a client straight in the eye and says "no, I will not do that, and neither will my team" and denies them their request, nothing will change, good devs will keep losing their spark to save themselves frustration, good people will walk away and the tyranny that we face daily grows... unless someone stands up, someone who cannot be knocked down, or reprimanded and told they're wrong for fighting for what's right.. unless someone stands up for what is right and fair... nothing changes... and nothing ever will... poor programs, bad games and content, lower standards, frustrated users, annoyance that you don't matter as a user or a dev will never go away... unless someone says enough. But no one will, money is the boss, morality a liability, and people an abundant resource. This world is backwards, devs are carrying the blame and no one who is able, cares enough to say "that's enough!".13 -
My team's "Scrum" daily stand-up meeting lasts for 1 hour. We spend the first 30 minutes listening to the Product Owner's "updates"5
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When you stand up an entire web application in one day by pulling code from other projects. #winning #miracleworker2
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You guys choose your specialities? I just find myself falling into them, and occasionally being interested in them. If the two line up, bingo.
Occasionally I get a reputation for being good at something I can't stand to work with though, which is never a particularly fun combination.4 -
Y'all, are internships in your area paid, unpaid or u need to pay to get one?
Our uni made internships mandatory! being from one of the country which produces largest number of engineers per year. Every godamn student from our uni is running around to get an internship! And there arises these dick heads with so called made up startups which has never done a godamn single project, just legally registered before the dawn and puts up advertisements for internship trainings!! All our uni needs is a fucking certificate from a technical company which is legally registered. And these assholes provide internship to those who pay them hella amount, and attend there couple of days just to get the certificate!! No developers! Just some random guy talking about html and css! Now thats Internship!
Fucking shit! Making money by looting students in their hard times! Students get the certificate that satisfies the uni, but for fucks sake at least bring an expert to guide them! No!! Need to stand up against this shit!11 -
The stupidest technical question I have ever been asked is actually more of a design question, but I think it'll appeal to DevRant people.
I had thrown together a logo for a new system that my team was making. The logo was basically a flat, solid circle of our corporate shade of blue, with the name of the product overlaid in Helvetica Light. It looked okay. Ish. Good enough, anyway.
Our junior-most senior manager came to have a look. She was the sort of person who always had to give feedback, on EVERYTHING. Everyone had given this little logo the nod, but she had to stare at it for ages, and then eventually asked:
"I like the text, but can you rotate the circle a few degrees?"
.
.
.
After an awkward pause I'm pleased to report that she realised her own mistake and we laughed it off, so I was not forced to stand up, point at her, and yell "DURRRRRRRRRR". -
I'm a junior dev in a scrum team with two senior devs: one actual senior and one average dev that's just been around for a long time. At stand up meeting, that average senior lists helping me as one of his task Every Single Day. 9 out of 10 times when I ask him a question we end up asking the senior senior together.2
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One job I picked up was for an IoT Start Up. It was quite interesting work, reporting to the technical director, who was an electronics engineer, who was designing the hardware himself, they had a couple of firmware guys already, and just needed someone to take care of the software.
So they said they needed something in Azure that they could stream their data to and provide analytics for their clients. It had to be Azure, and it had to be Azure Native, and was to be Multi-client, as they had a deal with Microsoft to showcase how well Azure works in the IoT space at an exhibition/conference in 3 months time.
So I worked flat out for 3 months, on a whole variety of technology, from C++ to get the radio packets from their IoT chip, Python to run on the hub to take the data from the C++ and stream it to the cloud, Azure IoT Hubs in every continent to receive the data and store it an a Cosmos DB, and then Power BI analytics wrapped up in an Angular front end that the clients could log into.
Got it finished 2 days before the show, and they were so pleased I got flown business class to Singapore to be on the stand and talk to customers.
The first sign of trouble was when we arrived at the show to find we just had one of those little circular tables with two stools in the middle of the floor, about two feet across and no power.
No problem, I was able to sort that, swapping laptops in and out.
Microsoft were really happy with what we had, and couldn't believe I had thrown it all together in 3 months.
We picked up a potential customer for the system, a major Asian Telecoms company.
Then when we got home, the CEO swooped in. I had never met this guy before. Imagine one of the VC guys from Silicon Valley, or the CEO from the IT Crowd. You get the picture. Could talk the hind leg of a donkey, and real street smart, but no brains. He insisted on "taking it from here" and flew alone to strike the deal with the customer. Came back with an MOU in his pocket and said to me, their guys will be in touch with you.
Then I got a call. Can you send us the source code and tell us how what servers we have to run this on?
Um, its cloud native.
No, we can't use a cloud it has to be on our servers - your CEO told us that was no problem..
He hadn't even taken the trouble to find out what it was we had built, and what he was selling.1 -
Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.
me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw2 -
I’ve been at this job 4 months and I feel like I’ve been here long enough to make an accurate opinion of it. From day one I have not felt welcomed. There is no communication within the team.. none of my questions are ever answered.. and when I do ask questions I get snarky answers. I don’t expect my hand to be held, but as someone who is new, I’d like you to give me guidance. Especially since the code is mostly legacy and no one else on the team seems to know anything about anything.
Oh and there are not daily stand ups, project managers, or direction in the tickets themselves.
I guess I should have expected this on the first day when I asked for a SIP or documentation on how to get my environment setup I was practically laughed out of the office and then had the nerve to ask me why it took me the entire day to get 5 environments up and running.. not giving me the custom mappings or the global UDFs.
Today was my last straw.. when I asked a question in three different forms of communication on multiple different channels and was never given an answer.. and then was asked why I did something the way I did instead of doing it the way they wanted me to.
I think the saddest thing is that I felt tricked into this. I was told this position was going to be one way but ended up being something else. I was excited to share my knowledge and best practices to the team. Instead, I’m an outcast and get only be negativity and excuses when I politely bring up suggestions.
I no longer have the will to code here.5 -
What is the weirdest shit you have seen in a daily stand-up?
I've just seen a baby horse being born on the daily stand-up.9 -
My boss is such a fucking pussy when it comes to stand up for anything that, even being a calm person, sometimes I just want to bitch slap that mother fucker, get him by the neck and say:
GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS FOR FUCKS SAKES!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!2 -
So I walk up to my desk, join the zoom meeting for daily stand ups, and then join the other meeting scheduled by the CEO. And I watched a presentation built around how I'll be fired in the next few minutes. My colleagues and I got laid off in the snap of a finger.
Sad much8 -
Our stand-up meetings last for 1 hour. Everybody talks for 5+ minutes so they will seem look "productive" in front of the managers.7
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Choose yourself:
The one who is too lazy too stand up, the one reinstalled his PC literally every week, or the toxic guy that nobody wants too work with.2 -
I'm fed up with you guys ranting about what you SHOULD HAVE said, but instead just walked out, said something cowardly, or nothing at all...
For fuck sake, grow a pair and stand up for yourself! Noone else will...
I get it, this place is a nice vent, people understand, it's not face-to-face, it's easy. But the sheer number of you that had a clear chance to be grow, and ran for the door is alarming.
I also get it, it's mostly difficult to talk back to a client/boss/professor. But there's a few steps between FUCK YOUR FUCKING DIPSHIT FACE and running to the corner to post a rant here.
Find the right words. You don't have to sware, be civilized, but take a stand, present your arguments, present facts and proofs. Don't give in to their scare tactics, earn that respect you need and deserve! Then come here like a winner and share it with us.
It has become quite a tradition here to sware in all caps and then say that's what you should have said, but didn't. From now on, I'm -- these posts to give my two cents in an attempt to make this a community of winners ranting about a stupid world. Not a community of cowards ranting how world is scary.6 -
Arguing with a co worker.... he is writing a serial data plotter, and wants me to send the data as text. I’m like ugh no I’m not wasting bandwidth for text data, you are getting it as binary, as my embedded system has a lot of other stuff todo than send debug info, so the quicker I get the data to you the better... plus his program is running on a pc there is no issue regarding resources handling binary data.
He tells me I’m am wrong, and is trying to defend his stance, then all the electrical engineers and other software engineers all stand up and said why in the hell would it be faster to send text than binary? He has no response.23 -
Hello DevRant community! It’s been a while, almost 5 years to be exact. The last time I posted here, I was a newbie, grappling with the challenges of a new job in a completely new country. Oh, how time flies!
Fast forward to today, and it’s been quite the journey. The codebase that once seemed like an indecipherable maze is now my playground. The bugs that used to keep me up at night are now my morning coffee puzzles. And the team, oh the team! We’ve moved from awkward nods to inside jokes and shared victories.
But let’s talk about the real hero here - the coffee machine. The unsung hero that has fueled late-night coding sessions and early morning stand-ups. It’s seen more heated debates than the PR comments section. If only it could talk, it would probably write its own rant about the indecisiveness of developers choosing between cappuccino and latte.
And then there are the unforgettable ‘learning opportunities’ - moments like accidentally shutting down the production server or dropping the customer database. Yes, they were panic-inducing crises of apocalyptic proportions at that time, but in hindsight, they were valuable lessons. Lessons about the importance of thorough testing, proper version control, reliable backup systems, and most importantly, owning up to our mistakes.
So here’s to the victories and failures, the bugs and fixes, the refactorings and 'wontfix’s. Here’s to the incredible journey of growth and learning. And most importantly, here’s to this amazing community that’s always been there with advice, sympathy, humor, and support.
Can’t wait to see what the next 5 years bring! 🥂3 -
Scrum Master? More like Scum Master.. The nutjob sends a calendar invite for daily stand up for 30 minutes which extends to 50 minutes.. 50 minutes for a team of 6 people ? Fuck off.6
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So, for the past...what, week or so? I've been working on a side project with @gianlu. It's the PretendYoureXyzzy fork - our attempt to rejuvenate an old shitty piece of software.
I had started working on a fork alone, and then he asked to team up so I was like "Sure, I got nothing better to do." So, he's working on the backend (and hooking JS up to the backend) and I'm developing the frontend.
I don't know why I thought tech would stand still. Google says they're putting MDL on life support and replacing it with a much more complex successor, MDC. It's not hard to use, but what really bugs me is the lack of notice on getmdl.io. If you are switching to another project as your main focus, why the fuck wouldn't you advertise in the most places possible?
Granted, I don't do web design and/or development on the daily. Yes, I can do it, but I'm not always as up-to-date with web technologies as I'd like to be.
However, the screencap captured is the third time I've taken the knife to the UI. MDC is great tooling, at least to me. That dialog? Not something MDL would've had out the box on the first day. You'd have to work for that.
I don't have an issue with MDC, I have an issue with the lack of PR around it.6 -
Crazy day full of challenges. Listening to dramatic music. 7 mins before end of day solve massive problem. Stand up and throw arms in air with a cheer! ... I work in an open office of 40 or so people. I got lots of weird looks. Took headphones off office was silent. Aaaaawkward
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I was waiting in the lobby of a recuiting place, hearing all their speeches. All super generic stuff, like "I looked at your resume and I have a bunch of cutting edge opportunities in the pipeline that are going fast, which I think you are a perfect fit for!" Which I don't argue is always invalid, just after hearing the same copy and paste speech, you start to wonder.
I even saw a few stand up and wave their hands around while trying to make a meh position sound like the latest golden egg.
I left with a feeling that recuiters would be a great inspiration for a "Wolf of Wall street" styled movie.1 -
My manager calls in to the morning stand-up meeting while driving to the office.
This is dangerous, not just for him but for other drivers.
I want so badly to say something but he's my manager and I'm afraid of reprisal.
He wouldn't listen to me anyway.3 -
Guinea pigs are not from Guinea and they aren’t pigs
JavaScript has nothing to do with Java
Computer science is not an actual science
Lawsuit is not an actual suit that the judge wears
Siouxsie Suioux is not Native American
Sugar gliders aren’t made of sugar
People don’t drive on driveways and don’t park on parkways
Carpets have nothing to do with either cars or pets
Gunpowder actually looks like noodles and not like powder
Coca-Cola has no coconut and no cocaine in it. It also contains no cola nuts
Peanuts aren’t actually nuts
Watermelon doesn’t taste like a melon
Laptops are usually used while standing on desks, not laps
GPU, as in graphics processing unit, can process things that aren’t graphical
Silverback gorillas’ backs ain’t made of silver
Rod Steward is not a rod and not a steward
Guy Standing can sit
People who say they can’t stand something usually can actually stand up
People who call themselves woke do sleep sometimes
Hibernation mode in Windows doesn’t actually hibernate anything
Kool Aid can be served hot
Wall sockets can be used while not being attached to a wall
WC is not a closet
MrBeast is in fact human
Dodge cars aren’t better at dodging things than other cars
Some AC units can be operated using DC
Most men don’t menstruate
Pop bottles don’t always go pop
Backpack can be used while not being worn on your back
Watches don’t watch anything
Some keyboards aren’t actually a single board
Cigarettes have cigars, but cassettes don’t have cass, and Gillette doesn’t have gills
Dyson doesn’t make Dyson spheres
Hairdryers can dry things that aren’t hair
Beds aren’t usually made of bedrock
ThinkPads can’t think
MacBooks aren’t books
Ceilings don’t ceil
Platinum records aren’t made of platinum
Training doesn’t always involve trains
Great Britain ain’t that great
HDMI can carry signal that isn’t HD
Fingers do fing but autists don’t aut
American Football band doesn’t play american football
Taylor Swift is neither a taylor nor a swift
Hard disk drive doesn’t drive
Tank tops has nothing to do with the top part of a tank
Tea bags do sometimes contain herbs that aren’t tea
Tea isn’t usually teal
Jack Black isn’t black
Fingernails aren’t nails32 -
What’s the use of daily sync meeting if you only have three dudes working together and already have Trello to list all the tasks?
And we have to report every single progress in person!?
Like I literally have to stand up and walk five feet to you just to say that I just finished a function and committed.
What the Duck ?!7 -
"Ralph" has been working on a process that updates a field in a SharePoint list and bellying aching for almost a month. Couldn't use the C# client, too hard...tried to use the SharePoint REST entry point, using C# too complex...Javascript also was overly complex. Tried to use PowerShell, that worked but could only run on the SharePoint Server and it didn't have access to the 3rd party system.
In our stand up this morning, again, he was belly aching he is still not done because of the complexity of SharePoint.
I thought "Good lord...what the frack is the problem? Surely other devs in the world aren't having this much of a problem."
Fire up google...search for an example...copy the MSDN C# example...run it...tada...updated the SharePoint list just fine. Maybe 15 minutes of effort (< 20 lines of mostly copy+pasted code).
Next stand up, I'm contemplating calling him out on the BS, but I suspect he had working code for a while. Wouldn't be the first time he has dragged his ass working on a project until folks get fed up waiting and he has an "intellectual breakthrough" and brags how all his effort was worth the time. Similar to the firefighter who starts fires just so he can 'be the hero'.1 -
Quick Tutorial: How to find a missing bug.
0) Wake up & have breakfast
1) Goto work
2) Do your job until the end of the working day
3) Make a backup
4) Shutdown your PC
5) Stand up
6) Go to the office door
7) Grab the door
8) Now the phone rings
9) Turn and go back
10) Take the phone
11) Now you get the bug report
This is a well approved method.
It always works!3 -
When I started working as designer my boss at that time liked to invite people to remote control me, sit or stand behind my neck to explain their will and tell me to do this, "can we try this?", "can it be changed to another color?", "is it possible to move logo to the left?" and all that m*f*cking shit.
It didn't take long before I decided that I wouldnt accept that anymore.
They come with that energy, that illusion of power to play god with your fast mouse...
The first solution was to stand up with them around the chair and tell them I would take notes, then do the changes and mail them. That worked but sometimes it didn't feel right for the boss who got mad and tried to handle the mouse like trying to pretend she was going to do it...
In case the visit was by surprise I used this method, not sitting in worst position. Just recover dignity standing to their commaning stance.
The best and what became the real solution was printing things we needed, receive and guide clients to a meeting room where we would discuss things and take notes on the papers.2 -
I'm quite a vengeful person, I'm sure I get the wrong end of the stick sometimes to.
In the last few years of my life I've been trying to not act and "be mature" about the situation.
There's still times I fall of the wagon but generally I have shrugged it off...
But do you know how I feel like now!? That I've been walked all over people are taking me for granted. People think they can get away with lying and messing me about.
Quite honestly I don't know how to act your always meant to rise above the situation. When all I can think of is how I could fuck up the thing they did.
And people go well just protect yourself but that means I'm not open and honest myself and that's what I fucking hate to begin with!
Today I'm feeling vengeful because a client didn't pay until the last second. They wanted the website for next to nothing. And took a year to pay. Now they have gone and paid a tonne on a new site ! Because they went well what you did was shit "effectively"
Granted it was but you don't spend a few hundred quid and expect to get everything. I gave them what they paid for.
Everyone is expecting something for nothing 🙄 I get that's just the life of companies directors
But it pisses me off I try to do everything truthfully on the up an up and they would prefer a group of liars
Oh front page of Google yes we can do that for free
Oh yes the greatest animation look!
😤 And I'm meant to sit here and be like yeah that's cool. I mean at this point what reason do I have to be open and honest if shit stains like that exist!
What pisses me off more is that I'm trying to rise above. I don't think I should I think I should ruin their fucking day and be done with it. I have the capabilities.... But I know "it ain't legal"
Then people go on about well if you don't like the rules help them get changed ...
I've tried the political route they are all far worse 😐 they are ignorant cunts. That's the truth! I can't stand to be around half of them 🙄
So here I am ranting to not fuck up someone's day , trying to rise above 😔 -
Why has web development become so complicated?
I'm learning React with JSX . Why is JSX even necessary? HTML works fine. Its simple and gets the job done.
I can't stand the node_modules directory either. Opening it up reveals what seems like hundreds it not thousands of dependencies that all have their own recursive node_modules folder and the dependencies continue.
Why are we creating more unnecessary abstractions on top of more unnecessary abstractions? What happened to K.I.S.S?
What was wrong with vanilla Javascript and becoming great at that and using just that?28 -
This week I got a promotion after being a junior for a year. Boss said Im a medior now and my monthly salary raised with 400 euro per month
Feels good but what feels bad is that a coworker of mine which has been contracted recently without any development experience is still making 400 more a month..
The thing is that this "developer" wanted to become a Java developer, he has been given time during work to study Java and in the meanwhile join the team thats working on a saas product (my team, where im lead dev)
During the 3 months ive counted a maximum of 10 commits and i was done with him which conflicted in a very bad vibe at the office.
During a refinement I asked if everybody understood what needs to be done, no questions asked. Next day when i was working at a clients office on another project 9 am i git a Skype message "Can you tell me What to do? I have no idea" where I replied "you should have asked me yesterday, i am not going to help you unless u come up with a question that makes sense.. what have u tried urself?".. Well then he got mad and stopped doing what he was trying to do.
The next morning i talked with him and we agreed to have a 1hour session to talk him through the user story. When we were done, he said that he understood and was going to work on it.
Next day I check, no commits, so during stand up i confronted hmj with this and he admitted hes been lacking and wanted to talk with the boss and me after stand up.
Well he admitted things were going to fast to keep up for him because he is doing some sysadmin stuff aswell.. the plan of becoming a Java dev was now history and he left the team..
Now he is just doing some sysadmin stuff but its been 3 days that hes been saying today ill setup a tomcat on the servers and give you SSH acces to deploy your .war files, today I finally gained access but he couldnt figure out how to move the war to the webapps folder.. And i wasnt allowed to transfer it to there..2 -
I was going to be productive today, I promise.
All I got was a headache and nausea.
Cold all the time.
Fucking irritating, when I stand up I want to vomit.
I'm either sick or pregnant. I'm hoping for the second one because that would be the type of excitement I need in my life.2 -
Thought the day would never come but... I'm starting to hate android as an operating system...
It's just becoming so inconsistent and fragmented, it's almost at windows level of inconsistent.
Now either google should start regulating the app store and android itself or completely ditch android as a complete stand alone OS.
I would personally seperate android into a runtime and focus on fuschia by building the android runtime into it, that way it could pull system UI element design and such rather than have the user build apps that look completely out of place and don't follow rules like dark mode, theming and the such...
I'm not going to jump ship into iOS because fuck iOS but just really hope google really starting tightening android up else I feel like it's just going to starting breaking more and more into a steaming mess.5 -
I'm so sick of being the only developer to have the courage to stand up, shout, argue and put a stop to incredibly poor, short-sighted and uninformed, company-damaging decisions made by managment.4
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my day went to shit immediately... long night, got to sleep at 4AM, poked awake at 8AM, "hey wake up we gotta go to a town 200 miles away, dress like you're rich, we gotta go find a place to live for my new job" ugh, fine, got another 30 minutes or so of sleep in the car. We get there, the guy shows us a place that I physically can't fully stand up in and is like 600-some square feet for $750/month. Fuck that. We get halfway back home, "hey i forgot, we just finished renovating a new unit, come look!" goddammit gotta go BACK to the city... get there, it's a 2-floor 1200 square foot place for $675, a hell of a lot better. We leave to go see relatives in town, get a call, "hey hurry home your grandfather's hallucinating" we get there before an ambulance (we traveled 120 miles in less time than an ambulance took to drive 50 miles...) and my grandfather's hauled (by us, as the ambulance refuses to take him to the right hospital, they want to take him OUT OF STATE in an ambulance and he's not actively dying) to the VA in the city we were just in... he's immediately screened and his dementia has progressed to the point he needs to be in a nursing home in 12 hours somehow. I have no idea either. Anyways, we're about 3/4 of the way back home and it's now 2:40AM. My dad's been driving for 18 hours pretty much straight. I'm still awake, he's wired (the worst possible state to be in while driving) and family drama has happened as family members are already trying to take the land my grandpa lived on AND HE'S LITERALLY ONLY BEEN GONE FOR 6 HOURS.
so how was your day?7 -
I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.
There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.
Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?
#hatehashtags C#needtheocean
// allow -
So I'm coming out of one that has a focus on this stack (JS [JQuery after weeks of Vanilla JS drilling in our heads, React], Java, MySQL, Python [Django, Bottle], HTML/CSS, and a few web security concepts (XSS, SQL injections).
The whole course has been 4 months learning, 3 weeks working on a final project. Next week is the presentation, so I think I can safely comment on the course.
We moved fast, but that's to be expected. Lecture in the mornings, exercises in the afternoons, assignments due at the beginning of each week. Constantly working towards it and improving. I have been working pretty hard. We were given some help, but had to get a lot of answers online (based God StackOverflow), but that's part of it.
We touched on some concepts like inheritance in JS, Python and Java, OOP and to be open to concepts we don't know so we should be thirsty for that knowledge.
In my off time, I've begun texting myself Node and really trying to double down on React because it seems useful. I realized I was more drawn to the backend, but I was comfortable in front end as well. (Just don't ask me to design anything, my eye for aesthetics/CSS sorcery is terrible.)
The overall experience has been pretty mixed, but we were mostly unsatisfied. We weren't given then help we were promised. The explanations weren't exactly crystal clear, so we would have to teach ourselves and each other quite a bit. We worked together a lot. Some people really fell behind, some caught up, some flew ahead and thrived. (I'm somewhere between caught up and thrived, I recognize where I stand.)
I'm happy I did a bootcamp, they aren't miracle programs, but they at least kick you into place that you are learning and need to continue to learn. (Just kinda wish I had done a different one.)
Feel free to ask about anything concerning it! -
One of the devs didn't show up to stand yesterday, remote or in person. Turns out he was in the hospital for seizures.
They asked me this morning to work Sunday and I said no. It's not worth the money and I'd rather have the weekend. I don't need to be prone to seizures to know that this level of work is deeply unhealthy.1 -
OK Mr CEO/President whatever self aggrandizing title you want to call yourself today, where the fuck is your spine! You want to have support help boost your sales but don't tell sales that you are letting support handle some sales and sales is mad. Now you are quivering under the thumb of the Lead of Sales. What the hell. You are the leader of this company.
Why did you not stand up for your decision to begin with? I'm not going to get into whether or not it was good, but if you are going to make a decision to experiment with new things fucking stand by it and let everyone in the company know.
You've exacerbated the division between departments and ton this company further apart. If you don't start standing up for things, you are going to destroy all that you've helped build! Furthermore, I will not simply be your loyal vassal and watch all the people doing support for my products get fucked over. I will leave you high and dry if needed. I really hope you don't make it needed. You gave me a great shot to be honest, I'd hate to have to turn my back on you in anger. But don't think for a second I won't do it.
Your entire programming department has also been put in the cross fire of a fight you just made so much worse. You are the only one who can clean this up. Are you going to stand up for us? Are you gonna stand up for your self? Or will you just break and show us where the real power lies? We will find out soon.2 -
Engineering Director thinks it would be best to have the developers in all the major regions of the world.... that is, the developers in the same squad..... someone in USA, someone in Western Europe, someone on Asia, etc.. ......so there is always someone to talk to customers....
(why do we have a flipping product owner then?!)
......oh hell, the stand-up is going to be interesting... when do we do sprint planning?! ...what about the retro??6 -
Before 2012, I always worked in cubicles and had weekly status meetings. In 2012 I moved to a big city and learnt there was something worse than cubes: the open work plan. Marketed as a way to increase coloration, the open work space is really just the result of real estate prices being expensive in cities and how desks are cheaper than 3-cube walls.
Up until 2013, we'd usually just have the weekly status meeting. Here are your tasks for the week. I'd do them at my own pace. Some days fast, some days slow, but they'd all get done by the end of the week and I'd proudly go down my list of stuff I had done.
Since then, it's all been "agile" and "stand-ups" every. fucking. day. The work is endless. A Product Owner once told me that stand ups weren't suppose to be status meetings; that you were only suppose to say if you're blocked or need help. But in every place I've worked at, they're daily status reports. You have to preform every day.
I really hate IT today more than ever. I miss the cube. I miss the weekly status reports. Today things are so high stress and higher paced and the work is endless. You can't even really pace yourself anymore.1 -
My new home office.
I haven't posted on DevRant in a while so thought I would share my new home office set up.
My old set up was great. Dual screen standing desk, fast desktop and great monitors.
Since having a new baby a few months back, the home office is now a nursery. My only option is to sit at the kitchen table or stand in the kitchen (I prefer standing).
So here it is, my new office. Laptop on a kids toy box, fit snugly between chopping boards and tomatoes.
And hey, I don't actually mind at all, I love my family.
Just remember that when life gives you tomatoes 🍅 ...5 -
In these GOT times,
managers will suffer,
PRs will not be merged,
Pivotal Tracker/Jira stories will not be attended to.
Stand-up meetings will be ditched.
Winter is here. -
Apparently some developers are no longer happy with the idea of Stallman working as the head of the FOSS.
I dunno what to think, i have never really liked the man as a person, yet I acknowledge his contributions to the world as a whole. Always disliked attitude towards software that do not fit with his ideals and disliked just how quirky he was.
Yet i also respect wanting to stand up for a deceased colleague that can't defend his name in terms of the accusations made against him. What do y'all think?
https://amp.businessinsider.com/gnu...10 -
I think I just gave my teammates/boss another mind-blowing idea...
Daily stand-ups are usually done standing up... Which means away from computers... And therefore JIRAs should not be mentioned, at least not by ID...
WHO THE FUCK CAN REMEMBER THEIR ISSUE IDS ALONG WITH EVERYONE ELSE'S...11 -
Our stand up takes an hour everyday.
Explanation: everyday the same two guys pretty much hijack stand up by talking about tickets that ONLY involve them and has no relevance or dependency to the 8 other guys standing idle. Eventually I suggest they take the conversation offline because the rest of us aren't required. Scrum master gets offended and looks at it me like I've just spat in his face.
Productivity out the window or am I at fault?6 -
Moral of the story: sometimes you've got to take a hit to be better off in the end.
A client asked me to design flyers for him, at first I was hesitant since this would be a stand alone design task instead of one incorporated with development.
He kept asking since he liked what I designed for my other clients (logos, etc..) So I finally said yes and we agreed to a final preview before he would pay me. I had asked him for color schemes, certain pictures, info, etc. but he told me it was completely up to me.
I finished the design, sent him the preview and he told me it was shit compared to my other work and that he didn't want it anymore 😅. I used to get mad as fuck every time this happened but now I don't even bother .
I know many people are going to say "You should have had him sign a contract, bla bla". I know, I know, but you can't let people sign a contract for every small thing, it completely depend on the situation and I prefer to know which of my lesser known clients are assholes so I can quit accepting tasks from them. This saves me much more time in the end. -
This is long rant/story:
My manager conducts sync-up meetings regularly. The idea is to sync up all developers on current state of work. He does’t conduct stand-ups. He doesn't have time for it. He rather discusses on individual basis if we are blocked. The rule of the sync-up meeting is NOT to discuss any blockers or problems but simply explain each other what we are doing and how we plan next.
Sometime ago, the manager brought up and explained a new way of working in the sync-up meeting. At this point, a new developer in the team was absent due to sickness.
Today, there was a sync-up meeting and the manager started to question the new member about the newly introduced way of working. He was unaware of it and the manager never communicated this important information via email or any mode of communication available.
So, the conversation goes on as follows:
"Manager": — "Why didn’t you complete your task as per the new way of working?"
"Employee": — "Well, I've no idea. Am I supposed to do? I’ve been working as usual like any other"
"Manager": — "We have a new process and you have failed to follow it, so we’re late in delivering your work"
"Employee": — "I’ve already finished my work on time. I've raised a pull-request this morning"
"Manager": — "It doesn’t matter, it is not merged to main branch and so we can’t include your work in the release"
"Employee": — "I’ve no idea about the new process"
"Manager": — "Haven’t you asked around about what happened from previous meeting"
"Employee": — "Yes, I have. I was told which tasks were handled, but nothing about a new process"
"Manager": — "Aren’t you interested to learn it?"
"Employee": — "Why won’t I be interested? I was on a sick leave and I have no clue what happened here"
"Manager": — "What’s happened is past now, let’s not focus on it"
"Employee": — <Dumbfounded>
The Employee felt ashamed in front of everyone. He did his job but it didn’t pay off.
…. After an hour … the Employee had a talk with the Manager
"Employee": — "You shouldn’t have pointed me out in front of everyone. It made me feel real bad. You should have emailed this information if its important for the team."
"Manager": — "I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did I say so? I think you’ve a bright future in the team. You should be focusing on doing better things."
Employee goes back to work. A minute later, the Manager sends a PowerPoint screenshot of the process in the group chat.
**The Process**
It's about delivering release packages based on priorities defined by client. Each release package is a set of work items or requirements. Individual developers are assigned to work items. They are expected to deliver on planned delivery timelines in order to consider a work item into a release package.1 -
Forgot to drink water? Focus loss.
Forgot to write microtasks? Focus loss.
Didn't wear trousers when it's cold? Focus loss.
Forgot to meditate? Focus loss.
Forgot to think about how I feel? Focus loss.
Forgot to eat? Focus loss.
Didn't exercise? Focus loss.
Assumed that little pain in my ribs is cancer? Focus loss.
Got annoyed by something my boss said? Focus loss.
Did I forget to listen to instrumental music instead of stand up comedy? Focus loss.
Can't find instrumental music that I like and didn't listen too many times? Focus loss.
Did I sleep too little? Focus loss.
Everything is a pitfall. I am a goddamn house of cards.12 -
TABS OR SPACES?
It doesn't matter what you use, but use the ome you can stand with.
DONT FUCKING EVER BULLY ONE BECAUSE HE'S NOT USING YOUR "STANDARD"
Try to have some good discussion why you should use tabs or spaces and let other opinions matter. They may have some good reason for it.
PS I'm using spaces because it wont fuck up my Code if i change the OS (Windows<->Linux Server)5 -
Guys seriously, how the fuck did we end up like this? What's the deal with the new ~2Kg piece of aluminium that Apple is selling for $999, the "Apple Stand Pro"...
How did we allow for such a company gain this much of arrogance and confidence to sell us normal goods for exorbitant prices?
I seriously cannot imagine the unit production price going beyond $100, and I'm exaggerating a lot here. I can't think of any economic model that justifies the extra $899. They're exploiting cheap Chinese labor for fuck sake! What costs do they have?5 -
Frustration at its peak !!
So the CTO of the company I recently joined, whom I considered to be cool personality of all the open culture in the office and open communication, seems to be all wrong.
Few days back he suddenly dropped a mail to all the tech team members mentioning that we need more streamlined process in the company and many more blah blah stuffs... to which all of us agreed.
But. But. But. The last line(small font size) mentioning that from now onwards we need to come on Saturdays too until further notice. I mean WTF !!? Seriously.
But today in stand-up when one of the guy asked the agenda, he just tossed the question saying that we need to be more active attending "client tickets". Goddammit. We are devs, not tech support.
To this one of the other dev, said the exact same thing that was going in everyone's mind. Call the team that are required on Saturdays. To which his reply was, " Come on Saturday, we will speak then".
I was like 👏👏👏
P.S. Not that we are not ready to come on Saturdays, but at least take consent of all the members in the team, if you all babble so much about open culture and shit. We have friends and family too to have fun with, and need to take little rest on weekends.
And most importantly, tell us some firm reasons to be there on weekends, not just "You have to come, because we said so!"
Period.2 -
Finally making it.
I'm now closing down my company due to way too high costs and way too much work to try to stand those costs.
Good things will happen, now it's time to simply pay for the debts I now have just because I tried to dream too big without having enough financial support to sustain those dreams.
Hopefully I'll pay my debts in less than a year.
I really wish to go back in time, do stuff differently or even just don't do anything at all.
What a fucking year, I didn't even feel covid, lockdowns and such as I was too busy working at home.
Completely destroyed various relations in order to try to keep things up, now I just can't stand this stuff anymore.1 -
Oh boy the schools in the Netherlands have began again, the amount of people in the train is insane... (Also one of my biggest annoyances is) the way how people pile on top of the check-in checkout poles... They try to do it as fast as possible, but because it is an unstructured pile of garbage... It takes way too long...
Is it so hard to stand in a line and just keep your card STIL AND CORRECTLY INFRONT OF THE NFC READER!?
apparently it is because I see people slamming their wallets against it, moving it around wildly and keeping up the line being Angry why the reader can't detect their card... In their wallet, probably between multiple other NFC cards within a second (BECAUSE YOU KEEP MOVING IT FROM THE READER TO THE FUCKING SCREEN!!! WTF)2 -
So the company decided to go agile. I am now a scrum master. And we have the local product owners and all. They made us do daily stand-ups.
I don't know what is a scrum master. Nobody knows what the hell is a stand-up. It seems to be an akward 30 minutes every day, when local product owner asks questions and demands status reports.
I did some googling and it seems that the scrum master is supposed to just support the team and solve problems. In our version the scrum master finds out the system architecture and requirements, fills the backlog, does the system design and reports to the project manager(s). Also reports to the clients about the general project status in an executive meetings. I also do the sprint planning, in which we fit the vague features that we are told into time tables with ready told dates.
Oh yeah, the team is just 2 guys. One of them is me. And the other guy relies completely on me to daily tell what to do, review the work and also answer all the project and company level questions that pop into his mind. He gets angry if he doesn't receive ready-thought solutions to all problems, since "you're the boss and it's your job to tell us what to do".
This is going to be a great year.4 -
I’m new on here I’m just here to rant and idk what to do with this app and I might delete it but I CANT STAND IT. I CANT STAND PEOPLE CONSTANTLY SAYING THINGS THAT BOTHER ME AND JUST SAYING”NO OFFENSE” AND CONSTANTLY HAVING AN OPION ON EVERY SINGLE THING I DO OMG I SOMETIMES JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND SAY TO SHUT UP.😐5
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The other day the department reorganized our entire work area. Couple of developers wanted standing desks (which was denied because the powers-that-be doesn't know what 'standing desks' means..
but that is another rant).
VP wanted two more desks in our area, but short by only a couple of feet (so only one desk would fit, not a big deal)
DevA: "You know, if we had standing desks, we could move closer together by at least a couple of feet. Might be a little cramped, but at least we'd all be happy."
Me: "Who the -bleep- are these 'all' people? If you want to stand, then stand up, get a box for your keyboard/mouse and raise your monitor. You don't speak for me."
And DevA is pushing 300lbs, drinks soda all day, eats out of the vending machine most of the day, etc...standing desk? What for 3 minutes before I have to listen to
"Oh...my back..oh...my ankles...I hate this place for forcing me to use a standing desk!"
I run 5K every morning, lift weights, run over lunch, etc...when I'm at work, I'm ready to sit down!1 -
When you see your calendar isn't filled with useless huddles and stand-up meets, which have no purpose except distracting and disrupting your flow and focus.
That's how! 😡1 -
Why are banks so absolutely archaic and stupid when it comes to tech? I work in a Services based company and currently engaged with a very famous bank to build accounting software for Mutual Funds. The day to day stupidity of this client is driving me absolutely crazy.
They couldn't give us proper requirements, and my company was stupid enough to kickoff the project without official sign off. Not only did they change the requirements, but they added a shit ton MORE features, and essentially bullied us into completing it all in the same timeline. Their attitude is pathetic, they shit talk our dev team, they make us build the worst possible UX, and then complain that it's not looking good and not working well. They have absolutely no idea about any of the technical stuff and think that software is a magic box that will give them what they want.
I swear I have a lot of examples but I'm so angry right now that my words are fumbling and I can't think straight. Stand up is in 45 minutes and I'm just dreading it. Idk how to tell everything, it's just... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5 -
Just had a customer into my shop. A regular chap but we've never really spoken before. Turns out he's a system architect for British Aerospace Engineering, a huge company up here in the north of England. So we were chatting about what I study and what he does and I said, if I come out with a first or solid/high 2:1 in my software engineering degree, would that qualify me for an entry level at your place, and he said no. Hrs part of the interviewing panel, and he wouldn't even consider people my age (23 at time of qualification) without at least having another job in the field, and said most places would be the same. So let's say I decided to not go in for anything Web development and focused on C++, is there any sort of way you guys know of gaining experience in the field without first having another job? As mentioned I do freelance Web development, but do you think having a large Github portfolio and such would help me stand a chance? I know I'll need to take a lower tier job straight out of uni in the field, but as something to help speed the process along...5
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What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.4 -
Since we’re adding new backronyms every day, I propose SIMPLE.
S - Spaghetti: write tapestry of code like a chef.
I - Interlinked: if the project has modules, they should all depend on each other (we are strongest when we can depend on one another).
M - Micromanaged: if the product owner doesn’t expect reports in the daily stand-up, do they even care?
P - Perplex: diversity for the codebase.
L - Lazy: Bill Gates once said “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it”, for example, without testing, collaborating with team members, or ensuring the feature works with anything else in the codebase.
E - Opinionated: because I believe E should stand for opinionated and everyone else will have to work around this with adapters. But E should mean Opinionated because Uncle Bab said so.6 -
I know this is selfish, but this whole COVID-19 thing is driving me insane. The virus and quarantine I don't mind too much. What gets me is the number of people I see every single day having legit panic attacks because they can't buy "x" right now and it's the end of the world. I can't stand people who are literally in tears because they have to take an extra day off of work each week because of the state of the economy. I've been virtually unemployed for two years (not for lack of trying) and borderline homeless for six months. Grow up. You have a Lexus, a Range Rover, and a four bedroom house for you and your partner.9
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Some tech from our ISP decided to fiddle with our connection during stand up. Our CTO is all up in his business, trying to figure out what the issue is. The tech is being pushed more and more away as our devops people join in on the chaos. Meanwhile I'm having coffee and looking forward to lunch.. Can't test if I don't have access to the server.
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Ordered a new pc and got it in today.
Me starting it up: "oh right, Windows..."
*haven't touched windows in years*
Installing Ubuntu now cause I couldn't stand it anymore10 -
Fuck you apache server...
Why did your dumb ass developers decide it was a good idea to not support "expect 100 continue headers". I seriously suspect that the devs were high smoking dragon dildo ashes like they were getting ready to get a whole chair shoved up their asses.
I wasted alot of time thinking i was getting a 417 http code because i fucked up my API implementation... No, it was the dumb apache server that decided to give me the finger.
Also, whoever built the HttpClient for .net framework 4... Fuck you too for automatically adding that dumb header to PUT requests and not properly documenting this or allowing for it to be disabled in a non hacky way.
I appreciate and enjoy solving coding problems... I, however, can't stand dumb decisions like the two above. -
Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Making mistakes is the only way to learn from them and grow. F*ck sh*t up and build it back up again but better. Fall seven times stand up 8!
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"In matters of style swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock."
In matters of js frameworks, just give up. -
One thing I truly fucking dislike about the development life is knowing about server administration. I think that the mental hurdle that is to develop a huge application, make a stable dev environment, learn all the tools, tricks, techniques, modern standards, processes whatever, detailing software engineering are way tf too much to also handle server admin shit.
We don't have anyone at work that deals with that, and as such my devs need to know how to do entire series of maintenance shit that just takes time and effort plus hours of notetaking and study. I mean I get it, they should know their way around a linux environment enough to troubleshoot issues that are related to the os when working with some tools, but fuuuuuuuck me man, setting up a server, even for the holy grail of easy (standard lamp stack) takes way tf too much.
Wish we could have a dedicated server admin in the team.
I know where my faults are, setting up servers is something that I know but just can't be assed with in terms of keeping up, I wish we had a devops dedicated server admin deployment guru cuz I really cannot stand losing hours doing this shit.
It also diminishes good s admins in value, "weLl ThE deVs caN do It" YEAH BITCH but wouldn't it be nice to have an expert concentrating on JUST THAT?
FUCK man7 -
!dev
I can't stand any more YouTube ads, it's gotten up to a point where it's just abusive. Some videos have two consecutive ads before starting, other videos have 5+ ads in less than 15min. Watching a video is just frustrating nowadays. I'm done, I'm installing adblock and only allowing certain channels to have ads.14 -
New temp PM: Right I now want you in 9am every day and I want daily stand up meetings with a daily email at the end of the night. Also, we are abandoning the PM tool we use for one I like.
Me: Nope.2 -
TL;DR: my boss is a dick and I don't know what to do.
Been working at the company for a month now, I enjoy the atmosphere and the culture (startup btw) but I really cannot stand my superior - there's only two of us in the team. Any screw up he blames it on me without a second thought. First week in he assigned their new website project to me and honestly they have quite unrealistic deadlines. I mean they didn't even have the infrastructure for it nor the manpower to build one yet it needs to be finished by the end of this month. On top of that the spec keeps changing literally every 2-3 hours.
Also since I've forgotten to mention the guy I'm working under is one of the founders so I can't really go and talk to someone about it. I feel pretty screwed over, anyone has any advice or been in a situation like this? Is it too early to quit?1 -
New level of efficiency/laziness:
Used Tasker to autodial me into my daily stand-up conference calls. If my "AtWork" variable is set by the calendar entry, and If my "Jabra" headset is connected.
I don't have to remember conference codes...or keep track of the clock to call in on time.9 -
Being on time for that 10 am stand-up meeting.
Yes, all the cool kids are doing it. Yes, sometimes there is a benefit in being in the office at the same time as your colleagues. Yes, communication and backbriefing is important.
Yet why has it to happen at that early early possible time? Yes I know other places are worse demanding to be in office starting from 6 to 9. (I wonder why I don't work there. Oh wait, I don't.) Some companies even try to trick you with free breakfast in the morning. Thanks, but no thanks, I just want coffee.
Here's a crazy thought: You let me do my work on my terms when and where and I guarantee I invest the hours we agreed upon in the contract and try my very best to achieve the current goal, and maybe I'll be a happy and productive employee.
How about that? No. Ok. By the way, is this a good time asking for the possibility to work from remote? Also no? Ah okay. Didn't think so ...rant your chrono-normativity sucks i just want coffee and not to talk to people first world problems wk942 -
In a heavily crowded metro sitting on a ladies senior citizens seat with my 16" laptop almost getting out of hand or pushed by nearby ppl until some oldie got tired of my shit and asked me to stand up.
Imagine the most messed up system of connections on a laptop because i am a droid guy whose laptop had 3 wires coming out of ports (laptop charging cable, usb and earphones)1 -
I'm considering quitting a job I started a few weeks ago. I'll probably try to find other work first I suppose.
I'm UK based and this is the 6th programming/DevOps role I've had and I've never seen a team that is so utterly opposed to change. This is the largest company I've worked for in a full time capacity so someone please tell me if I'm going to see the same things at other companies of similar sizes (1000 employees). Or even tell me if I'm just being too opinionated and that I simply have different priorities than others I'm working with. The only upside so far is that at least 90% of the people I've been speaking to are very friendly and aren't outwardly toxic.
My first week, I explained during the daily stand up how I had been updating the readmes of a couple of code bases as I set them up locally, updated docker files to fix a few issues, made missing env files, and I didn't mention that I had also started a soon to be very long list of major problems in the code bases. 30 minutes later I get a call from the team lead saying he'd had complaints from another dev about the changes I'd spoke about making to their work. I was told to stash my changes for a few weeks at least and not to bother committing them.
Since then I've found out that even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have been allowed to merge in my changes. Sprints are 2 weeks long, and are planned several sprints ahead. Trying to get any tickets planned in so far has been a brick wall, and it's clear management only cares about features.
Weirdly enough but not unsurprisingly I've heard loads of complaints about the slow turn around of the dev team to get out anything, be it bug fixes or features. It's weird because when I pointed out that there's currently no centralised logging or an error management platform like bugsnag, there was zero interest. I wrote a 4 page report on the benefits and how it would help the dev team to get away from fire fighting and these hidden issues they keep running into. But I was told that it would have to be planned for next year's work, as this year everything is already planned and there's no space in the budget for the roughly $20 a month a standard bugsnag plan would take.
The reason I even had time to write up such a report is because I get given work that takes 30 minutes and I'm seemingly expected to take several days to do it. I tried asking for more work at the start but I could tell the lead was busy and was frankly just annoyed that he was having to find me work within the narrow confines of what's planned for the sprint.
So I tried to keep busy with a load of code reviews and writing reports on road mapping out how we could improve various things. It's still not much to do though. And hey when I brought up actually implementing psr12 coding standards, there currently aren't any standards and the code bases even use a mix of spaces and tab indentation in the same file, I seemingly got a positive impression at the only senior developer meeting I've been to so far. However when I wrote up a confluence doc on setting up psr12 code sniffing in the various IDEs everyone uses, and mentioned it in a daily stand up, I once again got kickback and a talking to.
It's pretty clear that they'd like me to sit down, do my assigned work, and otherwise try to look busy. While continuing with their terrible practices.
After today I think I'll have to stop trying to do code reviews too as it's clear they don't actually want code to be reviewed. A junior dev who only started writing code last year had written probably the single worst pull request I've ever seen. However it's still a perfectly reasonable thing, they're junior and that's what code reviews are for. So I went through file by file and gently suggested a cleaner or safer way to achieve things, or in a couple of the worst cases I suggested that they bring up a refactor ticket to be made as the code base was trapping them in shocking practices. I'm talking html in strings being concatenated in a class. Database migrations that use hard coded IDs from production data. Database queries that again quote arbitrary production IDs. A mix of tabs and spaces in the same file. Indentation being way off. Etc, the list goes on.
Well of course I get massive kickback from that too, not just from the team lead who they complained to but the junior was incredibly rude and basically told me to shut up because this was how it was done in this code base. For the last 2 days it's been a bit of a back and forth of me at least trying to get the guy to fix the formatting issues, and my lead has messaged me multiple times asking if it can go through code review to QA yet. I don't know why they even bother with code reviews at this point.18 -
When you are the last one in the team to succumb to the stand up desk craze. Stay weak legs! Stay weak!3
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We have a three bedroom house that fits us perfectly, or did anyway. In the upstairs there is a master bedroom which my wife and I share, and two smaller bedrooms. One is my son's room and was his nursery when he was smaller, and the other is currently being used as my office.
We had a second child-- a little girl --in October. As she is still very small, she sleeps in a bassinet in our bedroom, but those days are numbered. She will need her own room within a couple months, for naps and for her to sleep all night on her own. That means my office will soon have a crib, dresser, and changing table in it, and I will be unable to use my computer after the wife and kids are in bed.
For this eventuality, I've been preparing what I call my, "table kit." Costco sells these really nice collapsible plastic crates. I have filled one with computer things, with the intention being that when my office is not available to me, I have a crate with everything I need in it, and can quickly set up at the dinner table. When I'm done, I can quickly tear down and pack everything up into that collapsible crate, so none of my equipment will "live" at the table.
My question is: what would you put in your table kit? I currently have a System76 Oryx Pro, a 23" LED display, displayport cable, power cables, mouse, keyboard, microUSB, and type-C cable, Bluetooth headphones, and I'm trying to decide whether I'll need a laptop stand. What would you pack?5 -
Why don’t you like sharing your salary with coworkers? I tell people exactly what I am paid if the conversation comes up. It helps to know where you stand, i.e. if you’re being under paid or if you should ask for more in the next review cycle.6
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MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning
Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?
As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.
Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.
This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.
Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.
Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings. -
!dev
People these days...
At a bakery 3 girls didn't bother to clean up after themselves although the only thing left to do was to t aske the tray and dump it's contents into the trash can WHICH IS ON THEIR WAY OUT. Yeah but have enough time to cake on rediculous amounts of makeup...
Someone literally shat at the tram stop at the main station so whenever took leave the tram you might just step into it.
Then there are always those religious people trying to hand out pamplets about how great their religion is and how much it is helping- they stand right next to a crippled homeless begger.
Just wow.9 -
Worst interview experience was a marathon. 3 interviews in a day.
I asked the recruiter to assemble them like that after I had to remind her I was still employed and could go about having interviews all week. I took a day off and departed.
The first interview was with a company that had moved fro their previous address. Since the recruiter obviously checked that, I got to the right place late and with little mojo left.
The second interview was with a company that explained to me how they actually did not need my expertise.
The third was with a company that had just won Apple's Best of the Year award:
Me: So how is it having received the award?
Him: Nah, it's just another one. You get used to it.
[A little more interview]
[We wrap things up and stand up to leave]
Him: Well, thanks for stopping by and talking to us. And sorry we had to do this at our ping pong table. You know, the CEO and I are always playing. He says he's the best, but I always beat him.
All of that sprinkled with a very energising bellyache I had to take to the toilet every now and then (no idea what I ate the night before).
After the marathon, I told the recruiter the third company seemed the most promising, although I couldn't see myself working with someone that pretentious, to which she replied "I thought you had very similar personalities and you have a lot in common".
WHAT?! I've never said anything like that my whole life and now you're telling me you know me from the three fucking phone calls we had?
From that moment on, I've moved away from recruiters and towards networking.1 -
Co-worker put up a pull-request for his work, with no build file, no readme, no gitignore, and shell scripts for running the app (but not compiling it). O_o
The guy has been using atom editor even though we have license for Intellij for everyone, which .. whatever .. if it works for you...
In our daily stand, people offered to help him add the build files and he was like, "No, I know how to do it, I was just trying to avoid using Gradle until I had to."
It just made me think, "Yea I know you have all these nice screw drivers and hammers, but I'm going to keep using my hands and this stick so I can avoid using tools until I have to." -
There's a comment I left on a code review on Friday that I have absolutely zero recollection of even looking at the review. On the upside, apparently I did work in my sleep..? It's something that was discussed in today's stand-up...
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I have a random question:
What values do you guys live with?
And how can I make sure I live my life with highest possible values?
The squad here is most raw and honest. I have seen you folks stick to what you believe in and stand up against the evil even if costs you or makes you sacrifice somethings.
Really want to be a better human and seems like my next phase of life would be dedicated to this.20 -
Why is so hard to find engineers that actually care? It feels like the majority of people always want to do the bear minimum, no one wants to fix their shitty code even when it clearly violates the project or company standards. Everyone constantly comes up with shit about why they can't do things properly or how they'll fix it later and then get their mates to push their shit through review. The majority of lower management usually care equally as little so there's no point explaining the situation to them and the lack of care probably goes much higher. It seems like so many people go from job to job getting bump after bump in salary, which granted is absolutely fine and probably advised, but have nothing to show for it. Usually very little skills but alleged mountains of experience and a lazy piece of shit attitude. I hear all the time people saying you'll never change anything so why try and it feels like that most of the time but more because everyone keeps saying it. If everyone pulled their fingers out their arse, maybe we would stand a chance. I'm sure a lot of people on here have a real passion for computer science, whichever division you're in and love to learn and improve and reflect. What I really want to know is how you deal with people who are just taking their paycheck and enjoying the ride but don't actually care and how you discover these people as early on as possible to get shot of them.14
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I can't believe this shit happened in time for this week's rant!
Here it goes.
I have a table on AWS Athena which has partitions. Now, in the earlier versions of this project whenever I write something to a new partition a simple `MSCK` query worked (and keep in mind I am NOT deleting anything)!
Now, my so called Team Lead in the PR for the latest (major) release tells me to change it to an `ALTER TABLE`. I was like fine, but I did not add the s3 location to it, because it was NOT NEEDED. TL asks me to add location as well. I try to convince this person that it's not needed, but I lose. So there it is in production, all wrong.
Today I notice that the table is all fucked up. I bring this up in the stand up. The main boss asks me to look into it, which I do. Figure out what the issue is. This TL looks at it and says you need to change the location. I put my foot down.
"NO. What I need is to remove the bloody location. IT'S NOT NEEDED!"
TL's like, "Okay. Go ahead"
Two things:
1. It's your fault that there's this problem in production.
2. Why the fuck are you looking into this when I was clearly told to do so? It's not like you have nothing to do!1 -
Yesterday I bought a book. I did not know about it. So I read the first few pages before purchasing it. I did not look for the review online. I paid by card - not through my phone or contactless, just plain old card going into a chip and pin device.
This morning I got an advert in Facebook that I should buy the second part of the book. I know they snoop my online activity. In a weird way I kind of accepted it. I guess my question is how'd they know so much of my personal life.
I'd probably will leave Facebook today. I am sure they are watching this status as well. I hope the jackass behind this learns in my own small way I tried to stand up against their jackassery. Like everyone else here I from IT. I hope some one (or many) from this extraordinary community who is a lot more capable than I am, stands up to this invasion and make an end to this snooping.9 -
What a shit day, wasted 5 hours because the fucking temperature sensor of this goddamn turbine engine won't work, which in turn prevents the engine from starting up at all.
Why does shit fail whenever you need it the most? We had 45L of kerosene we had to burn, and now we'll have to move it somewhere else for the whole summer instead, and send the engine away to have it fixed (which means a whole lot of time and money wasted).
Fuck's sake, the one thing that had never let me down so far... we even made a brand new test stand just for the occasion :(3 -
A recruiter at https://skillcombo.com/ was conducting an interview via video link, the candidate was wearing a pressed white shirt and a stylish tie with doughnuts from The Simpsons. During the interview, the quality of the connection began to deteriorate and the candidate asked for a moment to turn up the volume on the speaker behind him. This required him to stand up and then my eyes were opened to the stunning lingerie of Homer Simpson and those same doughnuts, they complemented his whole image magnificently.3
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I don't like many sudden unplanned meetings appearing during your estimated development hours. It consumes some development time and destroys your momentum.
We follow the 2 weeks sprint that contains sprint ceremonies like sprint planning, demo, retro, daily stand ups and backlog grooming meetings. My capacity should be less then 80 hours since there are sprint ceremonies and unplanned meetings that happen during development hours. Unfortunately, my capacity is still set to 80 hours and meetings hours are not deducted. This puts me to a disadvantage as I need to do unpaid OT/weekend work just to make up for the lost time consumed by meetings.
Those 1 hour/30 minutes meeting piles up thus consuming development work hours. So a simple example is that you have 32 hours estimated to finish a big user story but sudden unplanned meetings and sprint ceremony meetings will consume some of that 32 hours. I will bring this up in our next retrospective meeting.12 -
So there is this social institute I invested three years in.
Left them a record budget to play with. After being chair person for two years before and even administrating the whole 1900 of em.
Turns out they're FRICKIN' MORONS!
Instead of welcoming constructive criticism
/* which is because they can not read one single line of simple text without a fidget spinner at hand. And the second line of text, they ask their meds being upgraded! */.
They start fucking people up by spreading lies publicly!
On the fakken Web!
In so called protocols
/* which they don't manage to spellcheck before publishing. As freaking "devs" they major in */.
Just because I told them, that another institution which is conjoined to them within the universities senate, DOES NOT STAND IN COMPETITION!
They don't get it.
Is it that difficult?
Downvote if it is.
And please help me with those worm infested no brainers marrying in circles.
Its incredible how much you can achieve in some years and still so many people stay ignorant enough to start spewing their verbal vomit all over the campus thus fist fucked professors reign in, because "muh truth! no development. just money, I like money. muh moving student, not like it! not like work!".
What the hell is going on in this society?!4 -
Samsung introduced a useful feature to their smartphones just to cripple it one year later.
In 2015, Samsung introduced camera quick launch to their Galaxy S6, where the camera could be accessed by double-pressing the home button. Before that, the double press accessed the far less useful S Voice.
A year later, with their Android 6.0 update and the phones that had Android 6.0 pre-installed (starting with the Galaxy S7), they ruined it with a useless "Camera has been opened via quick launch" pop-up that would appear if the camera app detects that the phone is in the pocket. This was detected using the front and rear proximity sensors.
If this useless pop-up was closed with the "back" key or by tapping the background behind the pop-up or by doing nothing for five seconds, the camera application would close itself. It would only stay open if the user tapped the tiny little "OK" button that could easily be missed in a crucial moment.
This made it impossible to blindly launch the camera while the phone is still inside the pocket, defeating one of the greatest benefits of the feature. And closing that pop-up takes time that could lead to a moment being missed by the camera.
Additionally, Samsung introduced a bug in Android 6.0 where launching the camera within seconds of going into stand-by mode would cause it to exit automatically after a few seconds.
Screenshot credits: https://forums.androidcentral.com/t...4 -
To all that read my rants regarding my webshop before! Here's the long awaited update!
So this asshole partner did just not take care of business so I decided to stand down as a director for that company. So we arranged that last monday.
I thought: let's end this properly, clean up my mail, some other stuff... tuesday he revoked me access to everything, so I couldn't access anything anymore. Wow fucker! You never did a thing and now suddenly you take action? Wtf?!
Can you please pay your part of the bill for the accountant? You already promised a couple of times.
Well of course mr retard, you really think I'll follow up on my promises? You never kept 1 of them yet expect me to keep that promise? Fuck you man.
So today he asked again. I told him that I'd like to know what he wants with all the custom made stuff as I developed it and copyright is owned by me. Then mr asshole started insulting again: just because of the fact that you're not a front end dev doesn't mean that makes.up for you taking so much time.to implement all that. I asked an expert.and he could do it in 3 hours! Wow dude! A front end dev optimizing db queries, rewriting parts of the back end in just.3 hours including the front-end?,You're so right.
Of course not cunt face. I'm already full stacking for 20 fucking years and.you tell me that?! Really? Mr insult's back again!
Then he says: I'm so fed up with all this crap that to end this properly I will have my new IT business partner look at your so called 'custom made components'.
For fuck's sake man, can I send you a tree with a rope so that you can hang yourself?
Good luck getting your domain name as it is still registered on my company's name. I might cancel it someday in the future at my convenience.
If anyone here loves fucking up a website, get in touch with me.1 -
Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.
That's right, the English summer has arrived.1 -
Why are companies so biased against employees those who come late and work late as compared to those who come early and leave early?
Why is it okay to leave early but not so much to come late instead?
After some of us ignored repeated warnings, we've been told that anyone come after 10:30am will be marked half day absent.
So, if they do so, I'll sit there in office playing Fifa or Table Tennis, and not work until the second half starts xD
The reason for such biasness is that the daily stand-up is at 10:30, even though more people wanted it to be after 11. They even took a vote. And yet it was ignored (funnily initially more ppl voted for 11 initially and somehow some of the votes changed for in favor of 10am... Now slowly, because half the team wouldn't be on time, it's shifted to 10:30am.
And funnily, I'm already serving notice period in this company.7 -
When you stand after waking up and have that unsteady feeling like you had been drinking the night before, but you hadn't.
Wtf, body? Is this how you thank me for not abusing you?5 -
Requirement: "Build teleport using a teapot and some tape"
Yesterday I spent most of my working day staring at the screen thinking about it, without being able to write a proposed implementation document. I felt the most useless person in the universe.
Me, today at daily stand-up meeting: «Honestly I have no idea on how to proceed, please assign me a different task.»
Manager: «Well, just think about it a bit more»
Great.1 -
Just recently got a new job.
On the old jobs we've always held connection via mail, slack, fb messenger groups and whatever.
But on this new IT job they have this really weird theory of that when you want something, you've to stand up, walk to the coworkers booth, and use this super odd "voice" communication.
Such a barbaric routine!2 -
Rant one of monday!!
Monday stand up meeting....
Reviewing jira tasks
Front end:" well, I dont think that is a priority but IM NOT TEST DRIVEN DEVELOPER SO...."
Jira task? Local env for testing in minikubes.
Ahhh the cool startup isssss sooooo cool he takes decisions about that, model the app or even estimates the deadlines of the product (the product not jira tickets)
Isnt it cool? Why not give that power to juniors? Why not tell them they dont need to learn and junior is just something they label to pay cheap for them?1 -
What is the point of working on a team in an open work environment if the only interaction I have with them is during our twice-weekly stand up?
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This story was related to me while I was in university.
So a long time ago, (in a galaxy far far away). This student was working as an intern at some tech company. He was running some queries, everything was fine. He decides that's good enough and heads for lunch.
When he comes back the query does not work. He notices the others around him start to stand up asking if anyone has a connection.
Turns out that an intern, at another building, basically deleted everything. I'm guessing they did not add this internship to their resume. -
Much better... sorta....
In your face Amazon!!!
Now I can easily know when new movies are added... though apparently Amazon considers live stand-up comic shows as Movies...2 -
Manager during daily stand- up meet: We are all going to upgrade to 20GB RAM machines by the end of this week.
Me: Noice, can open two Chrome windows now. -
Someone just left a small turd in front of the toilet bowl and stepped on it so now there's smeared shit on the floor tiles in a toilet stall.
Must be all the caffeine I guess.
Oh, and don't stand up too fast after taking a shit apparently, since I can't fathom how that happened.3 -
Why can't PMs do a basic user research before wasting the engg effort on building a product they don't even know what to build?????
Everytime my team completes a feature, request comes in to change it because end user does not want this. And when I take a stand to not proceed further without proper UXR, upper management forces me to go ahead without it.
I am fed up of these folks sitting at the top and being childish just to satisfy their own ego. -
Not exactly a co-worker, but another student at my data structure class, the guy freaked me out, he would stand up in the middle of the class whenever he finished the assignment first and walk around like he was about to jump.
I did beat him the first time though and that's when I noticed it was like a race for him, I still fear he will end me for that. -
Three back-to-back meetings today: Stand-Up, Planning, and Retro ... AKA two full hours of hearing everybody’s problems and hearing all viable solutions dismissed because we have no time to fix what’s broken.3
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Took a SWAG at stand-up this morning, saying I thought I could resolve a circular dependency introduced in a junior's branch by noon. As the morning dragged on, I became less and less certain of it, but lo! and behold I managed to refactor my way out of hell with 2 minutes to spare!
This calls for lunch beer! Which management has no way of stopping me from doing on a regular day due to remote working, but at least today I've convinced myself I earned it.1 -
When you come back from work after filling up jira, talking with colleagues during too long stand ups and writing documentation it's time to finally sit down and write some pure code.
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Am I the only one who needs to get in the zone to program efficiently? I need to listen to some rock / metal and be in my trousers at around midnight, then I can program for 6 hours straight without standing up. I feel like I need to stand up and walk every 30 minutes at work 😅1
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I NEED COFFEE HELP PLZ! :'(
I have a long time working on a project, since I started taking coffee in the mornings i realized that the coffee sucks..
So i looked for it and realized that old coffee was processed every day with the new coffee...
Anyways..
Im up to shitty project, shitty pc, shitty documentation, stress, pressure..w/e i don't care..
What I can't FUCKING stand is a disgusting coffee that tastes horrible! D:<
Is it too much to ask?? :'(6 -
Is it normal for a student (17yo, high school) to have nearly no free time? I have to leave for school at 6am and come back nearly everyday at 17 to 18pm. And since I play two instruments I'm in class for them again (+3h per week) and I'm in an orchestra (+6h rehearsal a week). So basically I finally come home at 8pm everyday and I'm so fucked that I can't do shit anymore. The only thing I'm able to do is (and in mood for) is practicing music and programming a little (personal projects and stuff). In theory I'd have free time on weekends then but I'm too tired to do shit on weekend. I stand up at 4pm and go to bed 5h later.
How was your time in school? How much free time did you guys have (or are still having)? Music is kinda free time imo but I'd like to meet schoolfriends outside of schooltime again :(16 -
Our Daily Stand Up literally became a meeting with discussions and Q&A portion. Greater than 30 minutes LOL8
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I submit all my code changes to the integration stream. Co worker integrates my code removes all my changes that breaks his hacky crap. Then complains his stuff doesn't work. I ask him why he he did not conform to the requirments says cause this is what worked before. I look at code see he assigns a value in the message to zero. I ask ever so politely why he is changing the incomming messages. He says this is what works. I Then send an email to him telling him this in an error. He reply saying this it what works. At stand up he complains and says no messages are getting through it doesn't work. The team tells him to revert to the original code. (My code) and update his code after two days of emails to bosses and complaining he reports it works with my code after he is done. He is the senior senior chief grand Pooba and makes more money than me.
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OH MY FUCKING GOD. I HATE
H A T E
ACQUIA SITE STUDIO.
"Let's make a low-code 'solution' for developers who barely can stand working on Drupal as it is, and make the completely easy and perfect process of styling a website, COMPLETELY UNBEARABLE!"
Yea this is a great idea, experienced developers can now spend hours trying to fucking find where a single style is coming from. Oh it was too easy to cmd+f a stylesheet or a codebase to find something particular? Yea FUCK THAT. Lets turn EVERY SINGLE STYLE into a unsearchable .yml file where every style definition is now a machine hash. WAY easier to use. Isn't it so cool to fucking click on styles from a dropdown where they come off the edge of the screen. FUCK whichever stupid fuck came up with this dog shit nonsense. I fucking HATE this soul crushing work.2 -
Fuck ATT, Fuck their company, Fuck their router, Fuck everything they stand for. I just spent 3 hours trying to solve an issue with their fucking router and my bonded nic setup on my home server. I still don't have it completely setup correctly. I just want to murder them at this point. I really need to build my own fucking router at this point. It would end up being so much easier.2
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I hate unnecessary meetings. It is a waste of my productive time. Also I hate daily stand ups that becomes a regular meeting with question and answer portion lol
It is like they are lazy creating a separate meeting for specific concerns and just brings it up in the daily stand ups lol nice way of doing agile things lol1 -
Ok..now its up to you guys. I couldnt find any answer on google that could help me..
SSH : is that only like a dos or batch command line (simply script language) , to go with?
I see often the "$" sign , for what does it stand for?14 -
Having to remind myself during each morning stand up that i get paid not to murder my co-workers.
It's about time management need reminding that i need a pay rise. -
Tasked with changing a couple of captions on a form. Literly as simple as 'Enter product' to 'Enter item' kind of change.
Reported in our morning stand up the changes where complete, tested and deployed (maybe 15 minutes worth of work including code check out/in, copying the file, etc)
DevA: "Ha ha...that's why you put those strings in resource files."
DevB: "No kidding. Not sure when we'll ever start doing best practices around here."
It was all I could do from saying "What the -bleep-!? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." -
I hate it when you're in a groove and the daily stand-up knocks you out of it. Now I can't remember what the hell I was even doing before it.2
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I really miss my company-issued stand-up desk, and actually going to a different facility every morning: both the drive and the office. I also miss being able to go to someone else's desk, or walking right up to a white board to hash something out at a moment's notice.
This is really my first experience working from home at length, save for 3 weeks I had when my son was born (in lieu of a paternity leave). I have to say, I don't particularly care for working remotely. It'd be different I suppose if i was able to be a digital nomad and work from different locations, but being confined to my own four walls blows. I much prefer working in an office with other devs and being able to collaborate face-to-face, without all the damn giphy's in slack.1 -
So I joined this digital agency where they are working on this ad-tech product and right from day one, I was given a task to implement a new feature on the product. No knowledge transfer. No onboarding process. So, I had given estimation about the task and apparently it took longer than expected. But what were they expecting. Anyways, my manager asked me to have a KT with the only senior guy that has been working there for last couple of years. And man, since the KT started, it's been hell for me. The guy is such an asshole and won't even give me a basic walkthrough of the system. He only took one call and that ended within 30 minutes. On top of that he went ahead and told the product manager that I am not keeping up and am not ready. And my product manager apparently wants me to take his place within a month. It's been only two months since I joined. I have already pushed two major features, tried to understand the system architecture, codebase and everything on my own. On top of that, I got yelled at by that senior dev in a meeting about a PR. I was quite confident guy when I joined and now I am anxious everyday at work and i am scared that they'll let me go because I won't be able to meet their unrealistic expectations. I also can't stand this senior dev and he can't stand me which makes me really demotivated to work. I have anxiety issues and now I am thinking if I stay, I am gonna mess up big time and they'll fire me or worse. I might break something in production because I didn't have proper onboarding.2
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I'm trying to stand up a docker container to read a storage queue with dotnet and invoke ffmpeg to convert some videos. For a whole day I fought with this wrapper (FFMpegCore) which kept throwing file not found errors on the ffmpeg binary itself. Locally (windows) it worked fine.
I spent a ton of time trying to install the Debian package, trying to add it to the path manually, trying to just use the wrapper just to generate the arguments I wanted (I'm not an ffmpeg pro, so the fluent API the wrapper has is super useful) and running it manually, nothing worked. Finally, I realized it wasn't getting to the part where I ran it manually: just using the fluent API to get the arguments was invoking ffmpeg and throwing.
I took away the wrapper completely, start ffmpeg manually and it works...
Ay carumba. Things just can't be easy.2 -
Sometimes I think that getting a degree was the biggest mistake I have ever done.
When professor wants to know why you did the work the way you did and you disagree as polite as you can, he calls you Arogant.. Like what the fuck, if you ask me 4 times why I did not expand the assigned task and I 4 times repeat that I want that shit as abstract as I can get. I already have it 5 times bigger as others god damnit, If you want me to focus on details, ask me to bring a tent..
A little bit of time later another professor assigns you a "Social network for schools"... Like wtf? U want facebook clone for free and in 4 weeks... What is this bullshit? You have mistaken uni for freelancer..
Because fuck you sideways... How dare you to have another classes?
Note for self... Next time open up a hotdog stand..1 -
Previous Post: https://devrant.com/rants/1557094/...
Holy Lamas! The fucked up SharePoint Saga continues.
Lick my glory Cucumber!
2 Weeks ago, Project Department Boss:
We will put a hold to the SharePoint development. Our Proof of Concept failed, even free opensource Software provides more functions.
Me: Alright, I just told you that from the beginning, but this were two great months wasted. In this time I had more important Stuff to do. But thanks that your four workers are overpayd and do batshit, GREAT.
Meeting last week, Project Dep. Head:
We will continue the SharePoint development. We will migrate all of our Data, even if it has a lot of flaws.
We will use OneNote as Wiki.
Me thinking: That's it, we are doomed!! I will suck my own Cucumber sideways... Please just once care about the People using this Software. Why do you say I am the most crucial guy for this project and then give a fuck about my ideas?!🤬
No they only care for the payslip and the promotions, even if the Software is a Clusterfuck😭.
I wont stand if you start using over 200 OneNote Documents!! This decision will drive us straight Bollocks in to the wall. That would be data Terrorism 2.0 🤬
Honestly I will either start give a fuck and plan out my own tool or give up entirely. But I can't my superior is such a nice person and has the wish for a great tool 😥. She even appointed me to this position, because I'm more tech savy than her.
Next week I will have some talks, this cant go on. Burning Millions of Dollars for years and just presenting shit. I never had dreamed, that I would be involved in such shit 🤦🏻♂️
If I start to dev myself, I will do it private beside my job, write up all my hours and get them payd out as a dev and not as a Supporter (Yea my position is IT-Supporter). That would be 180 $ per Hour.
Then I will show the fuckfaces how it's done. This was also suggested by my superiour, she's really a great person ❤️ -
So I finally decided to take the plunge to dualboot my Windows 10, since I'm using Linux applications more and more than Windows applications.
I just had to choose Fedora out of all distros. It sort of worked. When I tried to install, it won't get pass the login screen (kept getting blanks). I rebooted several times and went with "Troubleshooting" and it got me passed the login screen and proceeded to install at the lowest graphical settings, i.e. 800x600
So far so good, I was able to operate stuff that I wanted but I just can't stand working in a really low resolution. My guess is probably incompatibility with nVidia driver. Tried everything, rpmfusion, the negativo17 repo, the current official fedora repo, the If-Not-True-Then-False guide, and bumblebee. None works.
Makes no sense at all. Luckily my Win10 still works. Now I'm stuck on whether to continue trying to get Fedora distro up or try a different distro and start back from square one...3 -
Hey devRanters. Which position are you guys using for your workplace?
I'm sitting a lot of the time, but move a bit around in the chair. Every 30-45 mins I stand up an walk a bit.6 -
I hate installing things with pip. It has to be the worst set up for a package installer. About 75% of the time something I'm installing fails and I have to look up why. Coming from npm and yarn where it just works I can't stand the disconnect I get when trying to get into something and I have to configure stuff for the first 3 hours before I can actually do anything.2
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I am so fucking sick of daily stand ups. What a fucking waste of my time, even if it’s only 15 minutes, it fucks up my workflow and is just generally fucking annoying13
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Everytime I applied long leave, my client and PM will plan for important feature, but they say start the sprint and for other new people i have to give KT, and they will take care. I know how that will screw up the system. So at the time it's nightmare late night at office, in office time KT, no weekends, stand-up for 1hr(every time QA will ask, what we get after this sprint). Stupid clients changing the requirements after stand-up.
Everytime code base screwed and need to refactoring. So as much as possible core functionality I'll complete and only bug fixing for newbie. I hate those days. -
I have got ton of great colleagues that I have worked it and consider myself very fortunate that they were hunble and patience enough to deal with me.
Having said that, it would be evident that I have gotten some great advice too. In fact those minor comments here and there made me who I am today (a much better version of my past self).
One advice that I got from my South Korean colleague, who was based in Singapore and used to collaborate with team in Pacific time (US west coast) at odd hours uptil of 12 AM almost everyday.
When I was new, she kept telling me to get enough rest and not burn myself out. In early days I was very excited about the new stuff.
She said, 'Floyd make sure you set yourself up for a marathon and not a sprint.'
Damn! That hit me hard. Not just from a professional stand point, but also from a personal perspective, I realised that I need to slow down, enjoy the details, live those moments, and let shit go.
She is one of my favourites.3 -
Current I’ve been assigned 5 pages web design, but my coworker only been assigned two simple html and css task. We got same two weeks to finish it. She joined three months before me. After the task done, my manager ask her to do demo to team, she never mentioned me, and today’s stand up, big team manager said thanks for her demo and work, she didn’t mentioned me too… And now everyone contact her instead of me, and then she told me what others said later.
I feel she’ve been take credit from me..
should I talk with the manager about this? Or I should just quit the job?3 -
I hate project managers trying to stay relevant to a agile development methodology. Our PM doesn't care if we are working and providing value to the customer, only about checking off his Project check boxes.
tech lead CANCELS Monday stand-up becuase they cannot attend. and I work and status and update my tasks in or virtual task board. I forget to send a message mentioning I'll be kissing Tuesday standup. Then he sends me emails like the following sent to me, my manager, and my tech lead: "please remember to notify your team if you cannot attend the standup, and to send an agile status to the team. This is something that is required and not optional. We are trying to firm up all stories and tasks and need to hear a status. We are in week 1 of iteration 4.3. Thanks."
I'm coding and delivering value to the customer. Wtf are you doing dude? -
today during the stand-up I said: "if everything goes OK, I'll submit the PR by noon"; guess what? everything went to hell. FML
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My watch gives me periodic reminders to stand up.
I just so happened to be on the crapper at the time. I had just come to the conclusion of my business and before I could, it reminded me to stand up.
For a split second, I was like, man this thing really is living my life for me.2 -
Everyday at our standup with my team we chant "Aaaand Break" at the end, Today my manager gave me a new task to come up with a new routine chant for our team standup tomorrow, I have no idea about what to come up with- Any thoughts ?
I just have "go team" in mind, does anyone here do anything similar, want to hear your team disperse chant.?7 -
Starting a project in work learning some new tech. After a brief introduction to the tech, the lead dev can't wait to tell us about how we need to coordinate our daily standups with another team in a different part of the world.
Honestly, I'd rather stand up in front of a firing squad. -
*The one where he breaks ssh*
TL;DR: Minikube's dick is too big, and my ass wasnt ready.
So there was a time about 2 weeks ago where i wanted to try and set up a minikube cluster using SOP, and that actually went okay, aside from having to move over to a completely different server after discovering that my processor doesn't support virtualization.
So i set it up on my other server, and everything immediately starts going to shit; i can no longer run commands without processor latency. Also top shows 200% CPU usage. Maybe i should stop... NAHHH... so i continue on, and the biggest fuck up was starting up the nginx pods. I have 6 of them, and the moment i try and stand up my custom container which was the WHOLE POINT of this whole exercise, i lose ssh access and cant get back in. I go over to the server and kill the minikube and virtualbox processes, and everything's back to normal.6 -
Having a coffee machine right in your office (and not in the 20m far away kitchen area) is both blessing and curse. Sure, you have the coffee within your reach almost without having to stand up.. but you also get the "benefit" of incessant visits of your colleagues from other offices talking various shit and keeping you from work..4
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3 days ago i started home workouts after 3 long years of not doing it. By following THENX on youtube. It was a 20 minute ab workout. I fucked myself over. I am in SO MUCH PAIN for several days now. Every day I'm in more pain. I cant stand straight because of how much it fucking hurts. My stomach muscles are FUCKED. It feels like i got punched and beaten in the hips and stomach. But those are muscles strained from not working out for years. This first workout was way too extreme and I fucked up. I look like that old grandma that bends her back like a cockroach while walking. This is ridiculous for a mid 20s guy. How do i recover from this shit12
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So many people on devRant rave about iPhones because of the better security and privacy, but the new iPhone X starts at a whopping $1000! Sure, you don't have to get the X, but that's what everybody wants.
You'll say "well, I'm willing to pay more if it means better security because that's just the way it is." It doesn't have to be. It would be much more beneficial to actually fight and take a stand for better security and more privacy than just put up with outrageous prices.1 -
Me: B.A could we please go through this bug u raised
B.A: Sure can we do it after stand up
Me: sure (one hour away)
Me: can we go through this now
B.A: 10 mins
Total time lost waiting on this shit
3 hours
HAHAHAA fucking ridiculous5 -
I have called for a meeting with my manager's manager expressing concerns and ask for a role change inside the company.
How should I approach this?
My current project is this some IoT stuff being built on the cloud.
The role that I was recruited for and the one I am currently doing is very different thanks to the TPTB who suddenly decided some other team in a different country (lets call them B ) take on that role.
I see a lot of trash work assigned to my team that is a consequence of lack of understanding of the cloud stuff by people upstream and not automating steps in the engineering process like build,test, deploy ( which was part of my initial role description ) and I'm not liking my current role. But my manager doesn't give a damn.
He is just happy to be involved in the project.
I feel like I am having leftovers from a fancy restaurant in spite of having enough money to dine well in the same hotel.
When I bring out the concerns like lack of automating, cost savings in the cloud, improved security configurations to my manager, he doesn't seem to care and not voicing them upstream. If I bring up these topics in any discussion where people outside my team are also there,then I am quickly sidelined.
The rest of my team also don't seem to care. They just don't want to stand up and take responsibility.1 -
Stand up today:
"Hey send a kinda mean email to to them, and I'll follow up with them with a call."
"Oh yeah I'll send one like <customer X>."
"Well we don't want to be assholes..."
Everyone has THAT / those customer(s). -
i hate it when comedians smile too much.
it's like they are trying to pander or something. Or compensate the lack of material or humor
God it's so awkward because they smile as if implying that they are funny.
It feels like they are trying to hypnotize the audience into thinking they are funny.
Or as if they were your friends, I don't know what it is, but it's fucking awful.
Isn't smiling back is an evolutionary trait? Marketing folks like to brainwash people with their smiles so there has to be some truth to it.
But the last damn thing I want marketing to corrupt is stand up humor.
Just count how many times jerrod carmichael smiles. Or kate mckinnon.
God fucking dammit, let me decide if you are funny.
You can have good material with meh delivery, but not the other way around, I'm not a fucking baby laughing as a reflex, I can understand sentences.12 -
I fucking hate entity framework.
It turns 10 mins of work into fucking hours of stress and bloat and shit.
It’s the one thing in dotnet that I cannot fucking stand.
Literally did a bit of work in 10 mins (using ef I might add), but because it’s not the”ef way” I need to create an extra table/class and then fuck about mapping the relationship in a complicated way to do what I had just done in only a few lines of code with one table.
Spend over an hour trying to get it to understand the relationship before I gave up for the day. Fuck it6 -
I had registered for Machine Learning course in my university. It's a new course offered after looking at the subjects usage in industry.
The professor handling it ,have completely no idea ,and experience on ML., So yeah
His 1hour lecture is complete stand up comedy show for the students.
So, today he comes and says "ML is based on Probability", and explains probability, like for 8th grade students.
He put this question on the board, telling that ML revolves around concept requirements to solve this question.
Question:
Probability of getting sum of 7 or 11 when a pair of die is thrown?
Guess what, he tried to solve the question and got wrong answer.
I was highly interested in the course,since my project required it and thought it provide me great fundamentals, it's been 3 weeks I regret for opting it.😥 -
Just finished a little proof of concept of a reprojected multisample antialiasing technique and daaaaamn it's looking good. First time ever a rendering technique I invented isn't complete shit so that's an improvement
It still has some (pretty big) issues with both spatial and temporal ghosting but I have some ideas in the pipeline
I wish I could show you guys comparison images but as it turns out most anti aliasing techniques look pretty good on still frames but only the good ones stand up under motion and I don't know of a good way right now to capture pixel perfect clips like that5 -
Our project using Agile methodology, we have every day stand-up meeting(scrum meeting) that normally end around 10 to 15 minutes with 7 ppl.
One day The Project Owner came and join our stand-up meeting that cost us like sprint planning
And The Project Owner did not stop there, he come again next day for the 1 week.
Because of that our product backlogs and Sprint Planning goes haywire.
We failed to delivery what we planned for that project. -
I need some Dev wisdom for you wonderful devRanters!
I have the opportunity to intern at a large multinational company overseas. I can get flown there and have a place to stay so that's not the issue. These are:
#1 it's cutting edge block-chain tech (not that I'll get to do anything super important) that I have no idea how it works. written in a language I don't know.
#2 they're trying to make a certain application of block chain technology proprietary and that goes completely against everything I stand for.
3# I'm only a 2nd year student and don't think I can handle uni while trying to catch up on a new development prosses, maintain decent grades and work part time at a job a might lose, if I go.
So, do I go?6 -
:D
This one is funny for me because my current team lead and I have a really comical dynamic regarding reviews.
I can't say I've ever really had a bad experience but I brought up one stand up about how he had rejected my PR and that he was probably just going to reject the next one. So now it's this joke if I get a PR through in one review (which is usually).
One time he spiked a ping pong ball towards me in a match and I replied, "Hey whoa man, this isn't a code review calm down!". 😂 -
During a stand up meeting, boss turns up to us and says: "Who can stay later today?" Many hands rise. Turns up to new dude, who isn't performing that well: "that performance report automation, it is due tomorrow now. Fuck it. Get it done." Left at 21:30 from the office with an MVP but I usually arrive at 7:00 so I was fucking exhausted. Now, my question is: who am I supposed to be pissed off? The boss who went apeshit on the new dude or the new dude that isn't getting shit done?4
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My manager is still being an asshole to all our customers. I cannot stand him, or his bullshit corrective action/write-up he sent to HR. The entire team is frustrated with him and his personal vendetta against me has caused me to go full force, looking for new works and well as transferring teams within the company. Things are getting politically heated right now and I'm not sure how things will pan out. I wish our old VP of software didn't pass away last month. The new CTO is a total tool and fuckwit. He sees developers as subordinates who must always away managers. He hasn't talked to anyone on the networking team since being hired, or anyone on my team.1
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Guys, Im here again to tell you this, you will laugh.
*Stand up meeting*
FE: well we should think a way to test all (he says that because he doesnt test so my tests+ END-TO-END and he can get away with that)
...because IM TOO LAZY TO TEST MY STUFF.
VP ENGINEER: "is it because it's too good that has no bugs? HAHAHAHA (bro laugh type)
ME: O_0 (thinking u better fucking test SOAB) Well, we should have tests in front end, and end to end. THE PYRAMID GUYS?1 -
There was a department. Long time ago their work was somewhat complicated: background checks of businesses, websites, ToSes, assuring agreement compliance, some risk management on top. They started as small 3 people team but over the years they were hiring new employees to catch up with the growing customer base. They were still struggling. Few years back we've integrated 3rd party services to help them and, finally, their backlog was gone!
In January they complained about how much more work they have since the merger so I inquired about which process was troublesome, what was the flow, etc., and it turned out to be very... Tinder-like - the issue was the sheer number of cases:
1. open a case,
2. check results in few windows,
3. if green + green + green, move right.
4. else move left.
It was ridiculous, I wouldn't stand for that. I sat for an hour, made some ghosting scripts that followed same business logic and saved results alongside their actual decisions. Last week I compared the two and there was zero difference so I green-lit it with my boss and pushed to prod.
Oh, the happiness on their faces when they heard the news, the disbelief, the tears of joy!
And then it happened. After 4 years of being cautious not to stir the waters I did it again. Yesterday I accidentally replaced 17 people department with 3 scripts. How was I supposed to know it was *all* they were doing??1 -
My week is up with Linux , im back on windows I tried about 10 variations 🙄
Best I could get was manjaro with KDE
It was pretty close to what I was looking for but I still have to install some of the programs I need using command line 🙄 how do they not have installers for them yet ... Crazy maybe they do.
I need a virtual machine which is fine I can still use my graphics so it's fast! Play games etc
But it crashed and died.
Not only that but every version of Linux.. it felt 🤔 shitty like the mouse was bolted tight to the screen and only heavy movement would do anything . Yes I have high mouse sensitivity (very high) but it feels sooooo rigid
Here's the thing I like what Linux is trying to do... It's just horrifically executed the learning curve to extreme and there is no central this is how you do it. With good reason yes but if you give someone to many choices they can't decide and give up and I think that's the only reason Linux isn't winning . It's to complicated.
Android is the only Linux OS I love manjaro did well .
But android is simple effective and does what it's meant to without any help
All other Linux os' are .. developerised as in only a developer really truly stand a chance to grasp it no normal folk out in the world.
People say Linux doesn't have long left to go... To me it seems like they are still miles off no closer then 5 years ago.
That was my experience at least ...7 -
1) communication is the key
2) if you don't understand something, ask
3) people always lie
4) you can always improove
5) if you don't stand up for yourself, noone will
Not so much that coding made me realise this, it's just something that got confirmed once I started working.. -
Finally some real vacation. Heavily needed. Can't stand that type of remote work any more. Our dailies and pull requests have become mere dick-measuring contests. Morally puffed statements about THE RIGHT way to do agile and clean code, and architecture. Endless vacuous, monologues, which they only endure so they can start our own - but shit just does not get done.
And then they don't want to invest only a day or some hours to get some integration tests running on more machines, which could save the one overworked tester we have a lot of work. But whatever. I've lost all motivation and hope. Shall they deal with their own shit. Maybe I just need more sleep or some antidepressants, because I'm really fed up with it.
Makes we wonder why I even fought this battle of the last two weeks, when thanks to Apple's changes in macOS's codesigning our new binary wouldn't run on any "real" machine. But according to them packaging and signing is only a trivial issue, nothing to do with code. Yeah, well, then they should do that shit themselves next time.1 -
When you spend 3 or 4 hours working on a large PBI on Friday and you go into work early AF (6:30am) on Monday so you can finish before the end of the sprint on Tuesday, but they tell you in the morning stand up that the PBI will be abandoned.
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Fellow devs, I want to hear your opinions on Scrum and daily stand up meetings. Do you think they're necessary?
God, I really hate that I'm required to participate in a meeting EVERY FUCKING DAY.6 -
Get the requirements cleared, create stories and tasks for them, decide what you wanna do everyday for the rest of the sprint, and then procrastinate. Give a half meaningful update in every stand up so that it seems like you kind of know what you're doing.
The Pressure of last minute deliveries gets the blood pumping so hard that you don't need any other stimuli.
Seriously though, clear requirements and expectations and peaceful music -
Does anyone have experience with bad engineering coaches?
We have a new guy who came in to my team as a coach, and it has made my work life so much more stressful.
It’s hard to put my finger on what is wrong, but this guy seems to lack a bit of perspective on his role at the company.
He is not a manager — he does not have any formal power — yet talks as if he were in charge of the team.
This goes from changing the way we do stand up, to inserting himself into any technical discussion going on in the office. It has gotten to the point where I will hold technical discussions in other parts of the office to avoid him.3 -
Scrum standups and standdowns at my university be like: "oh let's discuss everything that comes to our mind and talk about it for an hour" - Professors 2016
(Only ranted this because I had to take a huge dump and had to hold it for a hour ;_;) -
Stand-up meeting at 9:00 AM in the boardroom. It's called stand-up meeting but everyone will be sitting lolz...
I hate this Monday meetings, too many stupid talk. PM mostly doesn't have any clue about the project. I bet she didn't update the client last Friday. -
I'm so tired when I got up. Didn't sleep much last night. Working on a Sunday night till 2AM because I did not work the week on the project I was given.
This is not happening for the first time, I sleep late around 3AM to do my work, as day is too noisy and distracting. Attend some meetings during the day and get lazy in the evenings. Work during nights and then the next day I'm all tired for daily stand up.
How do you people tackle this schedule? I need serious advices.5 -
I missed many days of 100DaysOfCode challenge, almost quit and started playing games more often.🕹🎮
Now got some motivation and restarting it again from 0.♻
How do you guys stand still on something and motivated??
I see videos of motivation and it'll boost up for 2-3 days then I'll go back to laziness.🤒4 -
I have a question about the life as a developer in a big, open office. I'm a relatively active thinker and have to walk around, draw on whiteboards, etc. to get a better outlook on my problem.
What do I do in a big office with mutliple people? I can't just stand up and walk around or write/draw on a whiteboard all the time.
Has anyone experienced the same and knows what to do? I'd like to prepare for a life in the office.2 -
People who use word-break: break-all on body paragraph content need to stand in a narrow, claustrophobia-inducing room, cut off their left hand, and hold it up against the right-hand wall, while holding the stump of their left arm against the left wall. That's what it feels like to read break-all in longform content.
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[serious] !rant
I need your advice. I'm a junior developer and I overslept and missed not only a stand up meeting but a review as well and I feel like shit. This is my first time missing a meeting, though I feel like I've dirtied my name a bit. Am I holding myself to too high of a standard or am I rightfully upset with myself, and how do I make it right? Should I be concerned about losing my job?15 -
I work my ass off on multiple tickets, some are even incomplete tickets from another dev in vacation. The PM team under estimated the time the client needing these features.
PM during stand up: I would like to thank *some random dev* for adding comments to his tickets. It is very helpful. -
First month at my first dev job and I already don’t know if this is what I want. My boss keeps touching the code without me even being present, so when I arrive I don’t know what’s even happening. Getting texts from him at 4am doesn’t sound very healthy either. Is it all the same? Are dev people supposed to not have a life and work 24/7 for a company? Maybe I’m just wrong about my career choice. But I used to love coding before the job. Now it’s just a fucked up thing where I wake up wishing my boss didn’t text me or refactored half of the code in one stand.1
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Not much, honestly! My "desk" is actually a really shallow IKEA shelf - for a while I had a small collection of game figurines, bobbleheads and snowglobes lined up next to and on the base of my monitor stand, but more recently I had to make room for a Raspberry Pi, emergency bottle of HP Sauce and a drinks coaster.
My desk is tiny. Also I'm almost out of HP Sauce, please send help. -
That smug moment when you've just come back off holiday and reel off all the awesome shit you got up to during the scrum stand up meeting 😏
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MPLABX, eclipse and netbeans are biggest pieces of shit software in the world, fucken a I can’t stand this slowness, over bloat, locking up, and the unable to resolve bullshit,
(Porting a suppliers project and build script over to a simple makefile, and so the project can open and build in sublime or vim rather these other bullshit IDES9 -
So for awhile now I’ve been preparing myself for my first dev job as a .NET dev, and I’ve mostly just been polishing my C# knowledge with OOP, Entity Framework, ASP.NET and it’s been going really well.
So my self assigned time limit (end of August-beginning of September) is coming up and that’s when I’m gonna apply, so I decided today to take some time from programming to actually make my resume.
I did not use a template so it looks boring and I don’t have a lot to put on it but what I did put on it was important and I feel is solid (for not having worked before).
I’m having a few people I know look at it from a professional stand point and gave me feed back I implemented and it is better now.
I already linked my github, should I link my LinkedIn?
will people actually care if I don’t use a template to make it visually pop because I’d honestly rather keep it how it looks as is if I can.6 -
I had a task to do. Spent two weeks procrastinating and avoiding it, found some great excuses while doing stand-up meetings. And then I finally open my IDE and finish the task in one day.
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In the last couple of years I've only really had 2 kinds of meetings, weekly stand-up or me explaining something to someone. So they're usually pretty productive.
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I got called for a 1 on 1 with my manager. Nothing out of the ordinary, I thought. We have those from time to time. This time it was because I've been losing the trust of my team. I haven't been communicating with them very effectively and it's taken a toll on our working relationship.
We talk on slack when we run into issues, and we give a daily update at the end of the day and during stand up in the morning.
Anyone have any suggestions on ways I can increase the communication to help earn my teams trust back?9 -
When a co worker pretends to work all day by "fixing" something that you've already fixed. Just so that they have something to talk about at stand up in the morning.
Git commit -nothing 🙄 -
Having a dilemma... I need help with my gaming projects. I know a guy who I could train since he has lots of potential but Im having trust issues. Its because I invested around 10k into my codebase and Im afraid to give access to that guy since I suspect that he might use files and some day run away to make his own project. So im back to square 1 again which is loosing my mind with this huge workload. What should I do? Should I just say fuck it ant make him sign some air tight NDA agreement? Even then he could stand up and leave 2 months in and open a competitor project if he doesnt like my management style...3
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The Sprint started and this Stupid Lady did not finish her work yet and I am stuck till that. Funniest part is figuring out what to tell in the Daily Stand Up. ' Going through the Code and getting Familiar' :P
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Our stand-up meetings always get hijacked within 90 seconds... usually because this is the only time all of the developers are together in one video call.1
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Trying to stand up an app using AWS "serverless" and Cognito, but feel like I've shown up to a seminar on time shares by multi-level-marketers. Has anyone really used this?1
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Is it me or do meerkats look like they’re taking a pee when they stand up
https://youtu.be/iHz6ziE7X50/...3 -
I never finished it, but before I was working in the industry, I was coding through a book called Build Your Own AngularJS. My intent was to have piecemeal instruction/example in TDD and code way above the level of complexity I was used to. You essentially build the core of AngularJS in about 900 unit tests with total coverage. 1000pages long, its no walk in the park.
I gave it up when my time was short, and focused on higher level concepts: building apps, learning tools of the trade.
Now that I am getting plenty of exposure to that level, I am thinking my free learning hours may be better spent going down into the complex worlds shown in this book. A couple of things I found there really stayed with me and shaped how I think about problems. It was also very illuminating to see how complex algorithms work “in the wild”. I cant stand learning algorithms in isolation, generally speaking.
Has anyone seen this book? I know the framework itself is older now, but I don’t think that is much relevant for this learning use case.
I only know of one student who completed this. Took him a few months. He is an absolute machine. -
Why is instagram so thoroughly broken and a user experience torture.
I know the standard answer of "As long as the core flows that hold up the popularity work, no one cares much", and yeah, true, but that's a reason for why no one fixes the broken stuff.
What I want to know is why is it so thoroughly broken in the first place? Granted, Facebook isn't the best of places but one would expect at least a certaim level of competency from a team coming from the same organisation that gave us React JS(even if Instagram did not originate there, they have been in the Zuck empire for a while now). Why do such thoroughly messed up UI/UX and features get pushed to prod in a company that has the time, resources, and talent to do things professionally(read: better than the mess that instagram is). Not to mention a fuck ton of missing simple features that would make using it much better experience (JUST LET ME AT LEAST COPY COMMENTS GODFRKINDAMNIT IF ENABLING EDITING COMMENTS WILL COST YOU YOUR FIRSTBORN'S SOUL)
Maybe I am somewhat biased since I use Instagram desktop more than the mobile app, but my point should still stand.2 -
How do you guys feel about daily stand-up ?? Is it wasting time or like the method sent from the god of project management.2
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Why did the Telco's POC turn into a comedy show?
Because expecting to fit two SaaS offerings into three ec2 dibbas , and ended up with a performance that was more of a stand-up routine! -
"What I’m trying to produce is the visual equivalent of the chord change that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up." - Rian Hughes
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How do I do it I wonder ? Get stuck with the same retards playing the same strange shady personality types I have to dodge ? Seriously wtf
Betcha if I stuffed a tube steak in them both they'd be more warmed up heh
It's like why do I have to constantly deal with some twitchy copy of some person I previously knew who is doing his impression poorly of some weird introverted jackass with a funny hairstyle from 2001 ?
And what fuckinh sense did that ever make ? Doing something to stand out if you prefer lack.of interaction and attention ?
Only crazy bitches who thought everyone was out to rape them until you found a way to flip their slut switch acted like that in my age group !
Of course I yet know how they actually are God need to find another job3 -
ghub piece of shit
damn fucking shitty software. It happened to me in the past(like thrice times) that my mouse got randomly locked at the highest dpi until I uninstalled and reinstalled ghub... well it improved with the time and lately I haven't had that issue anymore, but hey today just for my daily stand up the mic decided to stop working out of the blue(headset is logitech too)... then fuck it didn't have time to troubleshoot that, made my way around using camera mic 🤪
Soon after I finished my meeting, decided to check on ghub to see if the software didn't detect the headset or whatnot... as soon as I tried to open it "ghub is updating", because of course, it can't tell you in any way that you should update it or your devices would not work until you open the goddamned software4 -
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