The older I get, the more I understand why Linus Torvalds thinks about people the way he does.

Merry Christmas, all you beautiful people!

'I don't want to push this commit yet'

Proceeds to write commit title and presses push.

'Wait, fuck ..'

SNOW!! LOADS OF SNOW AND MORE TO COME OVERNIGHT!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!

I know I sound childish. I don't care. Nothing brings me as much sincere joy as loads of snow or even blizards.

Holy shit! Albert Einstein is a real person!

My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.

Fuck all this legacy shit. I'm buying a strip club on the bahamas, seeya!

I want to vomit everytime rich people in upper management says stupid shit like "working for money in this company is a sin. Work for higher reason"

Hello, if only I get paid as much as you earn just by talking random nonsense in every meeting, I would be glad sharing the same shit quote like that to other employees in the company.

TIL: PHP if statements don't have block scope.

I didn't know this, was surprised and thought "well, huh".

Is writing code trully easier than reading it?

Recruiter: So you’re in Canada?

Dev: One sec let me check

*Points webcam out window at ongoing blizzard*

Dev: Yup, that looks like Canada to me

Recruiter: Ok I am just confirming

Dev: Me too

corporate emails and what they mean
- “changes to our privacy policy” — we raised capital, time for you to leave! good times are over.
- “changes to our pricing” — we are basically acquired, leave now.
- “blah blah community help blah blah” — fuck you, we can't even be bothered to fix bugs in our product.
- “blah blah 30% off blah blah” — yup, the unsubscribe button was broken last time you clicked it.

Ahh, management. They now decided to implement yet another clown role. Release manager…

😬

I am leaving. I just must leave this workplace!

They have so many roles now and it’s getting increasingly difficult to avoid them. I thought we were flying low before to avoid the radar (we use ci/cd, all automated, deploy all days of the week, so we are good. I mean, we go from business need to implement with (some) quality in minutes. Yes, we make mistakes and we fix them rapidly and continuously).

It will be difficult to stay. I really thought I would enjoy it here but management is making it pretty clear that they are not serious about software. They want fancy titles and pretend to work.

Fire em all I say! No one will notice that they are gone. 🤷🏼‍♂️

So.. the software team I work with still maintain Java 6 apps.. meanwhile management keep asking when we're "moving to the cloud".

DevRant posts are too small for me to describe our technical debt.... 🤦

Was working on an algorithm a few months back. I was not liking how long it was taking to process some data. A colleague of mine said: "Just throw out the data that is past a certain distance. You don't need it." At first I was shocked. Throw out data... Seemed so wrong at the time. He was correct, and it made sense. What was I saving it for? Posterity?

I'm scared of databases. What if I go to the bathroom and my dog or the Cookie Monster gets into my laptop and drops a table? How could I explain that?

My colleague wanted me to examine a script issue. I open it up, and it took several minutes to comprehend how it worked. Once it finally clicked:

Me: I can’t decide if this is idiotic or genius.
Colleague: Well, YOU wrote it.
Me: Oh… Genius it is, then!