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Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.
[Checking...]
Me: It's running in Drupal
Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.
Me: Who the hell is "she"?
Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]
Me: Is she a developer?
Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.
Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.
Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.
Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.
Owner: What the fuck is terminal?
Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?
Owner: You sure are grouchy today.
Me: Yep...37 -
"Pandas is built on top of Python."
No, it's not. It's written in Python. How about you just say "Pandas is a Python library", instead of trying to sound super "hip", cool and technical, when you're actually just full off shit?
Fucking moron.11 -
Dear Websites,
If I have to go through a fucking slideshow or even multiple pages to see your content, I won't be on your site for more than 5 seconds.
Sincerely,
Everyone8 -
Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!32 -
!Rant
Support Call:
”our PC stick isn't booting up! Come and fix it! (angry)”
Me:
”The PC are meant to boot up whenever power is delivered to them. Are you sure your TVs are powered on?”
Support Call:
”Yes! I just pressed the power button on both TVs and it didn't turn on the PC sticks.”
Me:
”So you can confirm the TVs are on? Can you change the input and see what happens?”
Support Phone:
”Stop wasting my time and send someone down to fix it now! I told you it isn't working!”
Me:
”Ok, we will get someone out to you as soon as possible.”
Then a support guy drives 2 hours to their store.
When he gets there he realizes that the TVs power is connected to a light switch and they has the switch off!!!
He said ”can we turn on some lights so I can see behind the TV?” and then all the fucking TVs came on.
These are times when I fully understand the concept of “firing a customer”.
The customer sent an email saying ”the downtime for your product was unacceptable.” even after it was explained to them that the problem was them turning off the power.
These fucking idiots actually expect us to deliver products to display on TVs without fucking electricity to run them.
15 -
A HUGE FUCK YOU TO EVERY GODDAMN ONLINE STORE WHO NEEDS A CREDIT CARD NUMBER TO OBTAIN SOMETHING FREE.
(the following is a big fuck you)
______
| ___|
| |_
| _|
| |
\_|
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_| |
\___/
_____
/ __ \
| / \/
| |
| \__/\
\____/
_ __
| | / /
| |/ /
| \
| |\ \
\_| \_/
__ __
\ \ / /
\ V /
\ /
| |
\_/
_____
| _ |
| | | |
| | | |
\ \_/ /
\___/
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_| |
\___/12 -
"Coding Languages Every Developer Should Learn in 2018"
I can't even express half of what's wrong about that idiotic, click-baity title, at least not with my limited vocabulary, let alone punch the author in the throat with a run-up.
Yet, without caring about logic, fact or generally knowing what the flying sideway-fuck he's even talking about this utter clod proceeds to list up more than ten(!) languages YOU should learn ASAP, (because 'apparently' he already knows them all (why else would he be writing about them, right? Right). Though I doubt this moron has ever even typed a single line of code since he crawled out of some bigger mammals arse along with the other the pinworms.
I'm against censorship, yet I ask myself who ever allowed this stupid fucking log of shit to produce anything else than stick figures on cave walls.
You just gotta love the internet and almost all of its long time inhabitants' impulses to write down any garbage they can bring their limited imagination to produce, then crap up some made-up numbers next to that dubious product as 'proof'.
Sources? What the fuck are those? Logic? never heard of that shit.
The most infuriating bit of this whole dumb text is the fucking title which boldly proclaims you gotta leann up to ten languages now, because:
"Why not? Should be doable in a few weeks, right? After all that shouldn't be harder than writing bullshit click-bait articles, am I wrong?"
– the author
FUCK!31 -
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!
Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...
13 -
"By using [service] you agree to our privacy service."
No, I don't. At all.
Imagine a house with an open door. You go in, because it's wide open anyway and it seems interesting. As you are inside, not earlier, there is a sign that says 'By coming in here you agree to blow whoever you come across in here.' and suddenly – must be a coincidence, right? – I'm there.
I hope you have a big mouth and are a master in suppressing your fucking gag reflex, because, remember? You agreed to blow me.51 -
I fucking hate these annoying new "notifications" on Twitter:
"Blah, Yada and 3 others you only follow out of awkward politeness liked a Tweet from some boring cunt you don't even know."
"Yada's sister's fucking dog's flea and three other people you wouldn't piss on if they caught fire retweeted something you most likely don't agree with."
"Blah and Yada—"
Fuck you, Twitter, fuck you with a baseball bat wrapped in sanding paper, I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!
WHERE THE FUCK DO I SWITCH THESE BULLSHIT NOTIFICATIONS OFF, FOR MOTHERWHORE'S SAKE?!16 -
Unpopular opinion about Microsoft buying GitHub.
Just putting it out there that when you made your github repos you did so under their privacy policy and terms and will be protected under those in the future, and that both GitHub and Microsoft are corporations with the goals of making money.
Are people seriously mad that their code has gone from one capitalist corporation to another, with no foreseeable change in privacy or data policy? I have respect for those that switched to self hosted long ago since that's going from corporate to private, but if you throw away the UX and community GitHub has developed because a multinational corporation (with so many branches, products and divisions, which happens to have a few products you don't like) will soon own it, are you actually making a rational, guided decision?
Also just throwing it out there that GitLab is also a company. They've also had issues with keeping data intact in the past. They do, however, have free private repos (although I can't ever trust someone who gives me "free" privacy) as well as builtin CI. There are some definite upsides to it, although the UX has a ton of differences. If you're expecting the same dashboard and workflow you've used on GitHub, don't, GitLab has cool features but the bells and whistles aren't the exact same.
If you're switching to GitLab solely because of Microsoft, step back and think, regardless of how popular it might make you to hate Microsoft, is it really worth changing your development ecosystem to go from one corporate entity to another solely because you don't like the company?
I use GitLab and GitBub as well as Bitbucket and selfhosted git on a daily basis. They each have their upsides and downsides; but I think switching from one to the other solely because of Microsoft is not only totally irrational, but really makes light of/disrespects the amazing tools and UX the teams behind each one have carefully developed. Pick your Git hosting based on features and what works out for your use case, not because of which corporate overlord has their name plastered on it.
(Also just throwing it out there that lots of devs love VS Code, and that's Microsoft owned too... They did also build and pioneer a bunch of really cool shit for devs including Typescript so it's not like they're evil or incapable in any sense?)20 -
Goddamned, how I hate these fucking buzzfeed style blogs and websites!
"11.5 reasons why this blog won't contain a single sentence that isn't utter nonsense"
"7 ways to suck your dog off without waking it up"
"63726 ways to take a relaxing shit"
Seriously, how bored and mentally challenged do you have to be in order to actually consume and enjoy this fucking bullshit? And who writes these useless, annoying, search result clobbering brain dumps? Why would you even click links with such idiotic titles, unless you are having a severe stroke while on crack or something, and don't know what the fuck you're doing?
Dumb three-word sentences that are just as stupid as they are stupifying, loosely combined to form a so-called 'article' that's again subdivided into more single pages than the arbitrary number in its title says it had parts. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo!
I already see you answering: „well, don't read it, then!“ – and of course, what a great idea, indeed I wouldn't even point my rosy arse at it – if it were only possible. Whenever I do a simple Google search for anything that is of a remotely general interest, I'm being thrown „17 reasons why greasing your shlong with pork fat is totally healthy“ at me.
Yeah, yeah, feed the idiot reader with spammy ads, except, I am not an idiot reader, or at least I'm not THAT stupid. Google knows my middle-stream morning piss nuances better than I know what I had for breakfast today, but it still throws these at me? I never ever even clicked or opened these on purpose. WHAT THE FUCK!
Whoever thinks of this idiotic fuckign shit, line them all up, and shoot'em in the fucking head. Since their heads are fucking empty already, a single bullet should suffice.23 -
Why the fuck are pretentious bullshit and stupid hyperbolic metaphors so popular in tutorials and online courses nowadays?
Whenever I read titles like "Async/await demystified" I want to send the author a fucking mail bomb. There is no myth whatsoever involved in tech details you don't understand, yet. Just learn or teach the fucking thing, no need to bloat your shitty tutorials with a myriad of stupid bullshit. And a myth is a myth precisely BECAUSE there is no way of knowing whether it's true or not in the first place. Fucking morons.
And why the fuck can't I just open the command line? Why do I have to 'fire it up'? How the fuck can I take a freaking hello world program 'for a spin'? It's the most boring kind of program you could write, there is nothing to spin or fire up, either it fucking works or it fucking doesn't.
FUCK! This kind of shit annoys me so much, I can't follow tutorials anymore, because I just get fucking riled up every time!23 -
A US senator or judge or whatever his title is said today that he wants companies/governments to build a 'responsible encryption' system.
Preferably that would exist out of a big ass database which stores the private keys of citizens so in case a person loses their private key or the government needs access to encrypted content, that is possible.
NOO, WHAT COULD FUCKING POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?!?!
Seriously those kind of people should not be allowed to have the kind of positions they have.
This shit makes me so angry.49 -
The Irish minister Rudd said today (for the second time I think) that 'WhatsApp gives terrorists a safe place to hide and execute their activities. Might be a good idea in the future to ban encrypted chat apps'. (not literally like that but it's a good summary of her points)
Imaginary dialog:
"okay so encrypted chat apps help terrorists and criminals to execute their activities"
"Alright, let's ban water then!"
"Wait what why would you ban water?!? How will ordinary people be able to drink then?"
"Why would you ban encrypted chat apps? How will ordinary people be able to communicate securely?"
😐
😶
😮
😧
😓27 -
Sysadmin that gets paid 3x what I do: we cannot install fcgi on our servers. Tells customer fcgi will not work on our servers.
Me: installs fcgi on server and configures for nginx. Serves Perl scripts no problem. Takes ~5 minutes. Works fine.12 -
AngularJS, by far. What a worthless, ugly, misconcepted, chaotic, awfully documented mess it was right from the start.
I've built a handful of projects with it and the chaos was impossible to tame for even middle-sized projects. JavaScript best practices were laughed at by the creators, hacky custom 'design patterns' that made no sense, duplicated code everywhere that even lead to duplicated code in your codebase, when working in a team, HTML attributes everywhere, it was slow and buggy as fuck, but of course Google couldn't admit that, so they pushed it hard and shoved it down people's throats wherever they could to suggest and fake actual success until sheeple took it up, because 'it's used everywhere' and 'it's developed by Google' as if that was an actual trait of quality.
Somehow mostly Java and C# devs got infected with this ugly mess, and even started using its sequel (not to say successor, because that feels wrong) which was the first Angular to use TypeScript to hide the fact that AngularJS didn't have anything to do with idiomatic JavaScript at all.
Now this cancer is everywhere, the creators still don't understand semver, and the worst thing is that unfortunately it won't go anywhere anytine soon.
Fuck Angular and fuck Google.24 -
Instagram coding pics are so fucking cringe worthy....like for real man. A picture of a simple cpp loop, or averyfuckingbasic Express hello world in some hipster filter with inspirational quotes and everyone looses their shit for it.
Instagram people are so easy.12 -
Job offer:
"There is no hierarchy within this company."
Bullshit.
Given a group of people, a hierarchy will emerge. In any company, a hierarchy will emerge. Even within a team a hierarchy will emerge.
Some people like to butt heads, some people like to go with the flow. It's how you deal with these personalities that matters.
You can try to be as fancy you want and declare your hierarchy to be as flat as a pancake, yet the reality is: there will be one.
Certain people will be trusted more by other people. Certain people will have more power in the decision making process.
Can we please stop deluding ourselves that this is not the case?
And that is not necessarily a bad thing. It only becomes bad if the company culture sucks. Instead of platitudes in regards to the assumed absence of hierarchy, I would be more interested to know how a company deals with its hierarchy.
How is feedback handled? How do people argue? How are decisions made, challenged and implemented?
That's what I would find much more interesting.17 -
Team lead dismisses my request for promotion to senior, "need more experience", 3 hours later get job offer for senior position5
-
Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."
Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."
Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."
Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."
Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."
The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."2 -
Dear Udemy,
I like what you're doing, I really do. But this survey you throw in my face every time I start a new course is fucking stupid.
If you ask me whether I intend to use the technology I'm just starting a course about personally or for my job – why the fuck can I only ever choose one option? Has it never occurred to you that some people might want to do both?
What the fuck are you even intending to use the answers for, when you're not even asking in a way that is representative of anything that could remotely be interesting to you as a business?
Either think of non-idiotic and actually representative questions or provide the possibility to completely opt out of getting pestered with this shit, how about that?
Also, I'm not interested in getting spammed with stupid ads from course tutors, presented as 'important' or 'personal' messages. Spam is just spam, no matter how you call it, so fucking respect my settings, puh-lease with whipped cream and a jizz-glazed cherry on top.
Sincerely,
An annoyed as fuck user of your otherwise great service.5 -
Happy blow-me-and-choke-on-it day, everybody!
Why the fuck does there have to be a fucking 'day' dedicated to everybody and their lousy, filthy dog? The year only has roughly 365.25 days – last time I checked that was not nearly enough to give 'everything' a dedicated fucking day.
Stupid arbitrary bullshit.19 -
For horse's cunts' sake, I wish people wouldn't just think of some dumb, edgy, ridiculous title, and then cram a bunch of idiotic fallacies into an overly long idiotic article accompanying that piece of crap, just in order to justify the click bait, then submit that dumb dribble to newsletters. Even the better ones are littered with this shit, lately, and that's just such a fucking waste of time, if there ever was one.
If they have to write articles, why the fuck don't these morons at least try to write something that matters by furthering productive discussion, instead of dividing developers with half-baked and completely idiotic assumptions they aren't even able to support nor argue for properly?
Fucking idiots.21 -
Please tell me, because I didn't get a fucking memo, when the fuck did the definitions of UI and UX design change to "as many half-arsed, chunky animations that serve no purpose whatsoever crammed into an ugly one-pager"?
I've been looking around for inspiration, trying to find some ideas for a coming project, and all I found on the usual sites where the above mentioned abominations. Well, either these or the opposite, websites that look like monochrome brochures and use the most idiotic and unfitting typeface combinations possible. Super Edgy, unusable hipster bullshit.
Are the the awards jurors getting bribed? The quality of these sites is just so bad, it hurts. I've been browsing these sites on a gaming laptop and I honestly doubt that the fucking nutjobs build these fine examples of how-not-to-do-it on anything else than a high-end gaming PC from 2050. How the hell is it even possinble that I can run DOOM on full details without missing a frame, but your godamn website becomes a slideshow as soon as your annoying five-minute menu animation starts? Fuck you, that's not design, let alone good design. Good design is, when you find what you're searching for without actually having to search for it; when everything works intuitively and using your product is a joy.
If I was a member of the jury who judges these sites I'd give flatout 0 points as soon as your 'site loader' takes more than a minute. And why do your viewers have to look at the motherfucking cunt ass loading screen, anyway? Probably because the two dozen 4k images aren't optimized, but that's irrelevant, because you're not even using half of them, and the other half are downscaled to 400 pixels. Maybe you did that on purpose so that we can fap in awe of your stealing svg-animations from codrop skills. Fuck you, you're neither a designer nor a developer, you just need a good fuck and some friends.9 -
Web Developer Profanity:
Dreamweaver = Motherfucker
GoDaddy = Son of a Bitch
Wix = Go Fuck Yourselves
SquareSpace = Hipster Assholes
Web.com = Piles of dogshit
ASP = Pain in the Ass.14 -
I'm tired of those post and memes about wasting four days finding a missing semicolon (;).
Where do those guys program? Notepad?
Come on! Use the existing tools!8 -
Tried Asphalt 9 today.
You can’t actually steer. It’s a racing game. You can’t steer. Game steers for you.
I’m leaving this planet.18 -
So, yesterday I was talking to a friend who had a fukin BUSINESS IDEA of starting Uber like service for his local town(where his university is).
Apparently, the moron was searching for someone to make an Uber like app for him (Both fukin Android and iOS) and he was hoping to get it done in under fukin 5000 INR (less than 100 USD).
I was like wtf 😐7 -
I just saw a LinkedIn ad at Berlin central station that was probably the dumbest and most pathetic non sequitur I've ever seen in advertising thus far.
It read: "Ich bin bei LinkedIn um Patienten die Hilfe zu geben, die sie brauchen" which roughly translates to: "I'm on LinkedIn to give my patients the help they need" behind that dumb quote was a nurse or a doctor (the ad was too far away, so I couldn't see exactly, and the premise doesn't fit the purpose anyway, so either would be irrelevant).
First of all, not only were both the fullstop at the end of the sentence and the comma after 'LinkedIn' missing which is already really badly done, in my eyes, but the whole ad also doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Unless your patients are fucking recruiters too and you're giving them your colleague's contact information, so that the latter can enjoy loads of mindless spam too, you won't help your patients at all – not in any way, shape or form – by being on LinkedIn. That's a fact, and I'm.sure every-fucking-body knows that, including the idiots who thought of this idiotic ad in.the first place.
Be fucking reasonable! Why the fuck would your patients give a rat's ass about whether you're on LinkedIn or not? It's a platform for spamming recruiters first and a shady business platform second. It's not that your patients are clients in the first place. They probably don't even have a choice, they're also not doing 'business' with anybody, they're just getting treated.
This is just another proof to me that LinkedIn is absolutely useless both as a platform and as a company, because they can't even think of ads for it without pulling completely irrelevant, pathos-laden bullshit out of their asses about why LinkedIn could be necessary at all. It just isn't, and it never was.
Dumbest fucking ad I've ever seen.
Just shoot all the recruiters in the neck, after having them dig their own mass graves, then let the CEO/CTO and the rest of the money grabbing, data slinging cunts follow, plane everything with a bulldozer and be done with it.10 -
Don't get me wrong, I like funcional programming, but this smug „This would neeever happen with FP“ bullshit really gets on my nerve and kind of turns me off the idea of ever wanting to work with FP programmers.
It's just another paradigm, it's still possible to write unmaintainable fuckugly crapcode with functional programming.
And it is still very possible to write beautiful, clean, well maintainable code with OOP. Get over yourselves and understand that it's a tool and not a religion, and a good dev should know when to pick which tool for which job without childish notions of intellectual superiority.5 -
Goddamit Apple fanboys... I saw 5 tents infront of the Apple Store in Zürich switzerland today, I MEAN WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? SPENDING AT LEAST 1000 CHF (around the Same in USD) FOR A FUCKING PHONE WHICH IS FROM APPLE!? WTF?! WHY? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS NONSENSE?! EXPLAIN THIS BULLFUCK TO ME!!15
-
A brilliant article that talks on the state of internet
The Bullshit Web - https://pxlnv.com/blog/...
Tldr: as internet speed increased, page loading time did not decrease because the extra bandwidth is being stuffed with unnecessary big scripts and autoplaying videos.
AMP is nothing more than a business tactic by Google42 -
I hate this wiki platform so much...
EVERYTIME I want to read something specific, the interface doesn't work at all.
Their mobile interface is shit. Completely. Doesn't matter which browser I use or what ever. Happened on all my phones. So it only can be their shitty mobile style.
Also most wikia sites don't even have a fucking search in the mobile style.
I was happy that this one has (or maybe they finally changed it in general) but I can't fucking tap on a page that came up by the search or just send the request.
Now I have to look that up later when I'm at my laptop or need to search directly via google for that specific page. Which isn't a big problem, but I'm soooooo angry at wikia.com for not fixing their fucked up mobile versions after at least a year (don't know what it was like on mobile before).
11 -
TMW you're asked to arrive one hour earlier at the office, so it can look "busy and innovative" to investors.
Some of us are just the toys very rich people play with.3 -
So I took these online assessments on PHP.
What a horrible way to gauge a programmer's knowledge.
To feed intentionally complex and tricky code to try and trick the taker into the wrong answer.
To assume the taker uses mysqli instead of PDO and would know the functions off the top of their head for mysqli is ridiculous.
There is so much wrong with these assessments I don't even know where to begin.
Just give me the specs of a program to write and let me write a program.
These recruiters really do not understand anything about programming, or how to rate a programmer's ability.18 -
IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.
- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!
- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.
*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*
*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*
I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.19 -
This is how most comments in code are. Why are you telling me it's a coffee cup, I can fucking see it's a coffee cup, who owns it and why is it right here? Are you putting coffee in it or something else?
6 -
When you read a CV and it states "I am an entrepreneur and have run various startup websites". Experience "Junior Developer... Developer... CTO... Developer" WTF!
No. No. No. You have had personal projects/a blog which is not a startup and does not make you an entrepreneur.
CV goes to trash pile.11 -
People at school believe using a library == Script Kiddie who can't code.
The icing on the cake is that they call themselves great programmers, and because they are 'superior' they don't use libraries and never will...
I smell bullshit
Oh, you have used the python math library... script kiddie.
You use jQuery, you little script kiddie?
(Because I have taken responsibility for my learning of languages and that is obviously not allowed)14 -
On stackoverflow *Peoople be like*
- How can I write a stream into a hole to extract light with magnetic energy -
and I'm trying to make my navigation bar in every screen with Java 😂
1 -
So, I'm in my final month at the current job. THAT job. So far this week, the company has 3 new clients and another 2 potential ones (there's a dev 'team' of myself and one other guy even more junior than myself).
Manager comes in and proudly tells us he has another two potential clients he wants us to pitch to. One with a Drupal business site and another with an Umbraco (C#) site. Neither of us know them. At all. I have never touched Drupal and I've barely looked at C#.
The C# company is huge. FTSE listed. The 'big-boys'. He honestly thinks this is going to end well...
Fuck non-technical managers. Seriously.
4 -
Hey guys and ladys. I've got another little rant about my teacher.
As some of you may know, i finished my final exams last week, so basically every relevant grade is done. Every teacher except of my special snowflake programming teacher spends the lessons casually talking with us (some even say we dont need to show up anymore).
Little backstory: Grades need to be done on 18th, June and i get my certificate on 22nd.
Back to my rant. Special Snowflake is different. He wants ANOTHER project. This is totally his idea and is nowhere mentioned in our curriculum. It has to be done until next friday, it has to be C# and we need a detailed documentation. This wouldn't be a problem normally - if I wouldn't be moving at the moment. Special Snowflake knows this but doesn't care.
Except from the criteria above he wants it to be:
- fancy
- loved by everyone. Literally we need to make something EVERYBODY wants in their daily life
- good looking
- everyone should want to pay money for this
How am I supposed to come up with an idea and program the shit out of it in less than 2 weeks, which i need to paint my new office and pack some more stuff.11 -
So this just happened... not to me, but at my friend's company.
The devs are being congratulated and spurred on for working late! I don't know about you, but this is not the kind of culture that should be encouraged.
15 -
This is how y'all look when you bitch about programming languages in which your experience with it does not go beyond trivial hello world shit.
4 -
According to Fast Company, Apple is more innovative than SpaceX or Tesla. Here’s top 20 according to them:
38 -
My boss has no idea what he is doing. Scary for a senior programmer, with 20 years of experience. The guy keeps calling methods statically, in a object oriented project. And can't understand why it won't work.4
-
I was looking through UX/UI designer jobs the other day, and then I checked the minimum requirements for it:
"React.js 7+ years of experience"
...
react came out 5 years ago5 -
No, it's not damaged. Yes, it most definitely can be opened. No, I should not move it to the trash, because I want to open it.
Quit your bullshit Apple and stop telling me what I should do.
5 -
I hate it when I try and have a discussion with another dev and the conversation devolves into something akin to:
Me: I'm doing a thing in y language! How do I do z using y language?
Dev: WHY ARE YOU USING Y LANGUAGE?! Y LANGUAGE SUCKS AND IF YOU USE IT YOU'RE STUPID. ALL REAL DEVS USE X LANGUAGE.
I just wanted to know how to do something. Maybe I don't want to do it in another language. Maybe I have to use this language for work/study. Maybe I've just been given legacy spaghetti code and can't change the system easily.
Why do people feel the need to do this? And if they want to flame a language why can't they do it constructively?
Dev: If you are trying to do a thing in y language, why don't you try using x language? It offers an easier way for you to complete the task that you want, and it has other amazing features too!
Then you could actually respond with the appropriate response which would be thanks but no thanks because of this reason or thanks i'll check it out.
No need to be so elitist all the time.3 -
Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!
Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.
Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.
They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.
And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.
For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.68 -
If you're ever talking serious business with me and make the mistake of using idiotic terms like 'cloud-native development' on me, but aren't able to explain what the hell it means without throwing around cock loads of buzzwords, chances are I'll kick you on the genitals with a run-up.
Why is it that any fucking job offer almost exclusively contains buzzwords and made-up bullshit? Who's dumb enugh to fall for that shit? If your job offer remains in the listings for a longer period than a fucking month, you're outright lying about your own potential and expect a kind of jack of all trades that simply doesn't exist.
Take my resumé, and snort your usual lines of coke off of it — that's the highest you fucking HR cocks will ever rise with my help.
Fuck you, I won't play this stupid game, I'll tell it as it is, and I'll tell you I wouldn't work for you, if you sucked my cock under my mahogany desk while brewing me a coffee, first thing every morning.5 -
So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.
So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.
*Wrong password*
Oh, I've must been to quick
*Try again*
*Wrong password*
Wtf?!
*Slowly type my password in*
*Wrong password*
*Fuck it, show password*
A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.
*Tap spacebar*
*Nothing*
*Tap harder*
*Nothing*
So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(5 -
What's the most bullshit marketing term you've heard being used? Something that sounds flashy for a non tech client, but makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I just heard "harnessing hyperconnectivity". The fucks that?3 -
Holy fucking dickballs, AWS cloud platform is one of the most UX unfriendly piles of fuckery I have witnessed.
It starts off okay and then you have to use it for many hours a day.
API gateway is assfucked backwards in its layout and how it displays. Why have things go horizontally across the screen rather than flow down so I can scroll. Also when I add a method to a resource why the god damn fuck do I need to select it from the smallest drop down imaginable when you have HALF MY POXY SCREEN TAKEN UP IN LITERAL WHITESPACE NEXT TO IT.
Now I get on to the dynamodb interface whoever designed must have been some form of insane cause it is as clunky as a donkey in clogs.
Finally, Lambda console, look I get it UX is not you strong point. but WHO IS THE SADISTIC FUCKOFF WHO WANTED TO HAVE TWO SCROLLABLE TEXT AREAS THAT CAN NOT BE FUCKING EXPANDED SO I CAN SEE MORE THAN FOUR LINES OF THE FUCKING OUTPUT.
*grumble* 12hrs a day of this bullshit *grumble*11 -
The company I work for has decided instead of building our own CMS (which was mostly done when they killed it), we should instead build a Chrome extension to extend Shopify's admin panel and implement all of the features it was missing. We warned them very thoroughly about how morally wrong this is at it's core and will require a lot of dev time to get this going and has risk of breaking if Shopify changes something in their admin panel. And yet they rely on this more and more every day.2
-
So I discovered my new laptop has adaptive brightness. Not based on the environment but based on what is rendered on my screen. This is pissing me off and there doesn't seem to be a way to disable it.
Imagine typing in VSCode and when the intellisense appears, the screen dims. This is fucking aggravating.9 -
My company is looking for a new React FE.
Just got a response to the add...
"I have 10 years experience with react and styled components."10 -
rant.GetType() == typeof(long)
I have voiced my unhappiness to the powers that be regarding having to sit in traffic for over an hour to get to work and an hour to get back home, in the hopes that some sort of resolution and compromise can be reached.
The response basically was, "We've never had anyone work from home before and this is very new to us, so we wouldn't know where to start and how to manage this."
Firstly, from what I've heard along the grapevine, someone has worked from home before. In fact, it was a developer... wouldn't you fucking know!
Secondly, you're the manager... FUCKING MANAGE! Yes this is perhaps "new" territory for the company, but it's certainly nothing new to the world. Or maybe I'm wrong?
How's about, rather than fucking "ummm-ing" and "ahhh-ing" about the working from home being a good idea or not, perhaps try saying, "You know what, let's try something for the next 3 months and see how it goes. We sit down and hash out when and how we are going to communicate regarding the work that needs to be done, and when you will need to come in for meetings and the like." If it doesn't work after 2 weeks, oh well... we tried. And if we're still going strong after month 4, I think we have a winner!
Perhaps it's a generational thing, seeing as management are Baby Boomers and I'm a Millennial? Then again, I could be wrong.
The point is that I see a potential solution to my problem that may actually work and benefit both parties, but they're either to fucking set in their old ass ways and stubborn to allow this. Or perhaps it's a thing of "if we do this for you, we have to do it for everyone", which they don't want to do.
But more importantly, they don't seem to get the whole notion of "a happy employee is a productive employee".
6 -
Non-coder, atechnical friend comes up with an app idea after seeing some existing app. Calls me, I tell them there are already a few other apps doing the same thing on the market.
Their answer: "Yeah, but just think about it. If we made this app, just imagine the possibilities that could branch out from that!"
Yeah, sure, like I'm going to do all the actual work while you speak marketese.6 -
Recruiter reached out. Client wanted someone with my exact job title, but with advanced Excel skills.
That’s exactly me. Excel is my secret weapon.
I tailor my CV, explain in a covering email about my Excel proficiency.
I’m not selected for interview.
Someone fucked up and it certainly wasn’t me.1 -
So a coworker made a backup script that asynchronously copies the backup to the remote backup space and then deletes the backup:
scp backup.tgz remote: &
rm backup.tgz
Spot the bullshit.2 -
Just updated my LinkedIn summary, included "Design Thinking", "bleeding edge technologies" and "innovation-driven"...
What other phrases can you think of that only exist to play Buzzword-Bullshit-Bingo? :D6 -
Microsoft are you serious! You are installing a major update that will take a while, specifying that it will restart my computer many times without even asking if I want to proceed with it now or later! I don't have my charger ! What would happen if It goes out of battery! Damn you Microsoft !! Isn't there any good OS or what! Windows is sometimes buggy ! Linux distros don't make use of GPU! And I don't even talk about Mac.. God damnit we're on year 2017 and made so many astonishing work and still there is no fully operational and good OS! 😬😬😬19
-
Saw a rant against "startup idea guys" and it got me thinking. A few years ago, I knew a guy. Business major, terrible at everything, but his daddy is getting him a job at a big 4 accounting firm with referrals from his frat brothers. I collect vintage watches (gotta have a hobby that isn't Netflix and anxiety,) and I figured I should make a small website, display my stuff and write a bit. He gets on board, talking about how it's gonna be the next big thing. It's not, because the market is very saturated, I mainly sell on forums and tbh just wanted to write and dick around on Wordpress. I buy our entire inventory, he blows the cash he was fronting on booze, says I "lack networking capabilities," and quits. His LinkedIn lists him as the former CEO of MY company which wasn't even incorporated enough for me to get it a business PayPal, and he is now working on a tech startup that... Wait for it... Is a social network and online marketplace for Ivy League students. I shit you not. He told me it's the "first of its kind." I signed up for lulz, and the verification email directed me to his backend directory with client logins and details in plain text 😂😂😂😂2
-
Today,I found this gem:
static function getConfig(){
$cacheKey = 'foobar';
try {
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){
try{
$config = $this->repository->getConfig();
$this->cache->set($cacheKey, $config);
}
catch(Exception $e){}
}
}
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...!8 -
Google has a password reset procedure so intense, that even if I can sign into my recovery account and give them the code from there, use 2 factor auth and give them the code from there, tell them my recovery phone(s) number(s), give them my mother's father's mother's late cousin twice removed daughter's maiden name, and whatever other security measures were set in place, I can't get a fucking password reset. Thanks Google, fuck you.3
-
Fucking IT and their self signed corporate proxy SSL bullshit getting in the way of anything that needs to verify SSL requests,
Fuck you for making my day a slow and miserable day and having to resort to forcing rest apis and SDKs to work over HTTP instead, all in the name of “Security”.2 -
When you've been studying development for 5 years and a teacher explain to the class what a curly bracket is and where to find it on the keyboard...3
-
Why is it so hard to just build machines that work without all this ideological bullshit? Code doesn't care if politics==true. The world is scary enough without you assholes making modern life a data minefield for even the most educated experts, and taking advantage of the ignorance of everyone else. Fuck you.
I just wanna <look at web pages> without having to consider, counteract, or silently assist some fucking regime. Why is EVERYTHING this way? Everything is a back door or a data mine or a political statement? This isn't a fucking art piece! It's not your espionage tool, fucking codes in invisible ink and tiny cameras and shit everywhere! It's a <web browser>, and if it does ANYTHING besides <browse the web> that I didn't explicitly tell it to do, you better better not be the one who made it. Because if you did, you are what's wrong with the world.9 -
Has anyone ever ordered off RedBubble? Are they even a legitimate company?
Rant...
20 days ago I ordered a package from redbubble.com
They shipped the package, without an apartment number. So the delivery was refused and it was sent back to them.
I reach out to support and they ask me to send them a complete mailing address and my order number.
I send them my exact mailing address and the order number as they requested. They inform me that the package is being sent out again ASAP.
This morning I see that the new package has shipped, WITH NO FUCKING APARTMENT NUMBER.
I email them to let them know this. They inform me that since it has my zip code it will be fine (which is a ridiculously stupid this to say).
So I actually call the post service and ask them if the address will work, they let me know that of course, it will not get to me if there is no apartment. Duh!
So, I email RedBubble support again to let them know this.
I expect some sort of answer as to why this is happening. But the following happens.
They send me a refund.
Let's be clear, I did not as for a refund. I asked for the order I made to be shipped to me.
So it seems that putting an apartment number on a shipping address is completely impossible for this very unprofessional company.
After 2 weeks of bullshit, I will be receiving nothing at all from these shady cunts.
Fuck RedBubble it seems.9 -
Ok people. If you see a forum with an issue you're having, for the love of fuck, don't post "Omg I'm having that same issue!" Quite frankly, I don't give two shits if you have this issue or not. It's annoying as fuck to have to read through 3 pages of that bullshit to get to the answer for the problem.8
-
If I uncheck your, by default checked, checkbox to recieve your marketing bullshit emails on your website.
Don't fucking send me an additional email asking me to subscribe.
Fucking cunts!2 -
Just had someone try to tell me that Windows programs are more stable in WINE than in Windows. Haha no.6
-
I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT3
-
!dev
Have any of you heard that Melinda gates does not want to invest in "White guys with hoodies?"
That mogul said that she won't invest in white startups, because "she wants to invest in venture firms that focus on women and minorities — while deriding the venture capital (VC) industry for its lack of diversity." Are you actually pissing me here? I thought that she was a businesswoman! I am pretty sure that, business doesn't work like that. Shouldn't you invest in startups that have good ideas? Ideas that will change a technology, or introduce some new amazing invention, or at least give some kind of profit?
I think that this is going too far. I am afraid that, by the time I enter and graduate college, that most companies will be thinking like that. This is honestly scary. So, what she's telling me, is that if there's a team of white men, who have a great idea, but there's also a team of colored women who have a worse idea, that she will invest in them?! Like what the actual hell? This is bloody racism!
If companies start hiring and promoting people, based on their gender or skin color, doesn't that make them sexist and/or racist? Why do they argue that you "cannot be sexist or racist against white people/men." I am afraid that, if America keeps going in this direction, white men will turn into what black men experienced in the 1960s.
the article: goo.gl/vhv36K87 -
My wife is sick, my infant daughter is teething, and my toddler son won't stop begging for fruit snacks. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in the last 48 hours.
And now, I have to work on my weekend, since our division refuses to say "No, that wasn't in the scope of work" to another business unit and put them in their place. They're lucky they're getting the feature they requested 6 weeks from launch _at all_, let alone with the extras that they requested 4 weeks from launch. Now it's on my shoulders to fix this bullshit because they won't pony up extra budget to pay the external dev shop we used (who failed to implement said features in a timely fashion) to fix this shit.
I really need to get my business shit together and start consulting on my terms. Working for other people can suck a fuck.4 -
Shit recruiters say:
"We need solution experts, not language experts, because a language is just a tool."
Well then, good luck with your spaghetti code solution.5 -
Working with Android DatePicker is such a pain in the ass.
You want to have your DatePicker appearing as a SpinnerView? Well, easy!
If you're under API 21, you can use the following method 'setSpinnerViewShown()'. If you're between API 21 and API 23 you need to add some style configuration. And if you're above of API 23 you can't use both of the methods above, you need to create a custom xml with the attribute "datePickerMode" (no, datePickerMode can't be set programmatically, it would be too easy to guess).
If you want to add a listener to it, you think it might be a method called 'setDateChangeListener' or something like this? Well no! You must use the 'init(year, month, day, Listener)' method, logic!
If you think you're finished with this bullshit, of course not. Their is a known bug on API 21 that you must take into account (but this bug isn't fixed, no, it's just documented somewhere on google forums).
I don't know the team that designed the DatePicker for Android, but it might a team of champanzee that randomly changed their minds to the phases of the moon!3 -
First rant ever... But like, I just have to... So I'm at my internship and everythings going good, I'm working on the UI portion for the Android portion of the cross platform Xamarin app, and im just frolicking through my code, making things pretty and usable like a good xaml cow, and then it hits me... The Apple portion...
Now, I have a great computer, love it to death, but it's not an Apple laptop. Which I didn't realize I'd need to have in order to develop a Xamarin app for iOS, but I didn't know that, so as I go up to innocently check off another portion of my daily coding routine, and then I see it. The "please connect your Apple computer to continue". Im here like "...", And suddenly my supervisor comes over and sees my screen blank with my utter look of confusion and he asks why the hell I wasn't working, to which I respond that Xamarin won't let me work with iOS, to which he replies "bullshit, just use the other side of your computer" I'm confused for a second and realize he means my Linux install. So I tell my supervisor politely that that side of my computer isn't an Apple computer and doesn't have an actual licence. This annoys him since he's kind of used to things going his way, so he kind of just angrily/annoyedly says to "get it working" before I clock out... So essentially, I really hate apple for making me have to own an Apple computer to develop for Apple, which I don't really like, since it's not the best computer for me and I'd much rather have a nice bulkier computer that can handle gaming, but yeah, ugh, I'm screwed b/c I don't own an Apple computer... DevRant save me from the cash sucking sadness that is Apple... ;-;
TL;DR: I kinda hate apple for forcing it's devs to own an overpriced piece of hardware to develop their software... And now my supervisor is expecting me to make magic happen by the end of my shift... Which is in 4 hours... Fml12 -
Working on a side gig - an online clothing store - just finished implementing the cart logic, need to set up both PayPal and mobile money payments plus make sure the whole UI is responsive - fucking images! This is all needed by tomorrow... I haven't slept since Monday, just getting back home from a long day at work and did I mention that the client is also expecting to see a custom blog that I haven't even begun working on...
Fuck12 -
Fucking twitter! They locked me out of my account for no fucking reason (maybe because I was using multiple vpns at some point in time, but that just proves their stupidity!) and now they're asking me for my phone number!
Twitter, suck my non-existent dick until you suffocate, but you ain't getting no phone number you bunch of information hoarding assholes! 😡😡7 -
I just can't... I don't wanna be here anymore... 😭
So a website is due today. Then I just saw the image file of the design they want for the homepage... Today. I don't know when my boss' wife uploaded it on our ERP system, but I was never informed about it. I only saw it when I checked today. No fucking way I'm gonna finish that design today.
FUCK THIS PLAAAAACCEEEE!!!2 -
My december salary is delayed for a year (i’ll get paid around 2 or 3 january).
This broke af fireworks pic is how my new year looks like.
P.S Pic is stolen from facebook
4 -
...sincerely?
FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS
FUCK YOUR PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS.
FUCK YOU thinking you are the most important site in the universe so of course everyone will remember their password mangled beyond the original intention/recognition by your idiotic requirements!
I want to have an insecure password? MY PROBLEM.
I want to have the same password everywhere so I don't have to go through the idiotic "forgot my password" dance each time I try to login into your page? MY PROBLEM!
You're not the most important site in the universe.
I'm getting seriously fed up with this idea in general.
WHAT THE FUCK. Why did nobody come up with nothing better yet?
And the password storages and autocompletions don't count, that's a plaster on top of idiotic paradigm, nothing else.
...how is there nothing more sensible, still, after 18+ years?6 -
This fucking teacher was my "Web Design" teacher in high school.
Okay, yes, I acknowledge that this is an entry level course, but does that honestly mean that we need to teach the same source taught to students in the 90s? You know, the one where all layouts are table/iframe-based?
I understand that I completely disregarded your set criteria for grading by using CSS to create my website rather than tables and I frames, however I believe that it's fairly logical to conclude that anyone using CSS has a sufficient comprehension of HTML to be able to pass your stupid assignments. So why must time be wasted with coding poorly designed sites?1 -
That moment the sales guys ask if a humongous new feature is doable. And doesn't wait for your answer before adding: "Well so you know, I'll already promised it to the client for last week"2
-
So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.
I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.
He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.
Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.
We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.
Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.
Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.
Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.
The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.
It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.
Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.
I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker... -
Password Rules are bullshit. I am the one to decide what password is safe for me. If even I can't remember my password it's not fucking safe. Morons.
2 -
What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?
6 -
Just tried to install the english language pack for Visual Studio 2015 Enterprise (the thousands of bucks edition). Well... the setup displayed "DEU" for german and later tried to switch to "EN" resulting in "ENU". First WTF moment.
But what really killed me was the error message... please restart the PC BEFORE the installation? Just wow.
11 -
!dev
Based on a very reliable source (I know a guy) that told me that I'm "tentatively" set to be deployed on the new project just TWO days after the release date of the current one,
Let's say my last day is set on Saturday, which will include death marches (and probably even sleeping at the office) the following week, and I'm supposed to move on to the new project on Monday, 2 days after, which leaves me only 1 day to recuperate,
So much for the motto of "{company-name}life", work life balance my ass, but well, I still have some mandatory leave days saved up (which according to the policy, are to be used before entering a new project), hopefully that'll help me avoid/prolong the "1 day recuperation treatment",
It's probably not the "company's" fault per se, because the managers already got a lot of infamy for pulling this kind of shit all the time, besides, I did agree for another client site project, just didn't expect for this kind of behavior, -
Am I the only one who hates all of this fucking UEFI bullshit, my hate for Microsoft had decreased, but now I fucking hate it now!
FUCK YOU FUCKING MICROSOFT AND YOUR STUPID SHITTY OS AT LEAST ALLOW ME TO RUN ANOTHER FUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM13 -
Fucking your fucking module allocates fucking memory fucking deallocate the fucking memory in your fucking module.
Don't fucking bullshit me!12 -
Just learned my company says it owns everything I think or build, whether I am on the clock or not. It was in the handbook, not the paperwork I signed, but it says I agree to it if I keep working for them. It even says I cannot show interest in something without their approval. FUCK!13
-
Our prof at university told us at the beginning of the semester, that .NET is the most used framework for web based systems and it would take a big part in this semester. He brought up a statistic, in which .NET filled around 43 %, and wasnt even the most populated one. Nobody seemed to be impressed, that the first information he provided to us, was obviously wrong but okay.. After that I just looked up the statistic and filtered the values for my own country, in which Im "probably" about to work later on. The percentage for .NET in my country was 4 %. I told my classmates, that this guy is talking complete bullshit. Still nobody cared. During semester we learned stuff, that was btw factually wrong. In the end, we didnt even had one lecture about .NET. Now my classmates finally care and are flaming all day about this guy. Didnt expect that... (Irony off)
There is one more story of this ridculous prof that will follow soon :D3 -
When u see Bullshit u r supposed to call it Bullshit not organically digested grass.
Thank you for your time8 -
That absolutely glorious fucking moment when you have to pay >1'000 bucks a semester and STILL have to shell out 15 goddamn bucks to print out a motherfucking script. That's like 2 beers!
10 -
I can't stand this JS is sooo fast bullshit anymore. You just suck at coding if your code with the most other languages is significantly slower.11
-
When your PM or boss says they used to program back in the day in FORTRAN and haven't done shit since.
-
Fuck you JavaScript with your blocks within blocks within blocks, your promises and callbacks, your million of libraries that are doublons or not finished. Fuck you with your assigning variable before functions, fuck you!11
-
More like a colleague more than a client, but it doesn't really matter.. They're the same shit,aren't they?
Dude, when you ask for something on Sunday, and spend the day plus Monday and Tuesday not returning my calls or emails... You can go fuck yourself with a huge unicorn's dick. I already moved on to more important shit to do and now you're going to wait until I'm fucking done.
Fucking assholes.2 -
Anybody can rant about stuff and get angry - that's easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
- Aristotele -
People complaining about other people bragging about nonexistent dev or hacker skills.
Sorry, but all I can picture is a kid with low self esteem being a braggart to another kid.
Who actually gives a flying fuck?2 -
Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.9 -
That moment when you just quit your successful paying job just to have more time to study and try to pass the fucking piece of trash math exam.
Fuck my asshole, fuck my life and fuck that motherfucking college degree. If I don't pass, I will eventually kill my self or quit college.
Jeez, I wonder what was in my head when I enrolled in college, oh wait.. Parents, society brainwashed me to think I need top tier education to be a successful computer programmer engineer.
Fuck you society, fuck my brain, fuck everything.10 -
My boss drives me crazy. He hired me for working on his SDK which is game related. So I am responsible for basically everything, including an ingame UI (menu etc.) and to predict the future path of a game object (unit, minion, ..) when a certain spell is casted on it. For that task I divided the prediction into firstly getting the predicted path of the unit without a spell being casted and then a class that would cast the spell on that path and estimate the units reaction to that cast. Simplified, but that way you get a pretty okayish result. Now he thinks that is too complicated. "Can we not put everything into one class, if someone wants to replace the prediction he needs to read documentation for hours". WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT, THAT IT'S GONNA BE SOME ONE CLASS 3K LINES MAGIC??
Same for the GUI. We only have DirectX and don't want to use a framework. Guess what, it's more than one class if you want to seperate view, model, controller or whatever fucking "design pattern" thing you use.
And then Git... he seriously said let's not use branches till release, I feel like they slow down things.. before I was there they did every operation on master.
And if it was just that..
/rant
I put much work into this, time to leave?1 -
I've written a rant that was too long to devRant, so I made it into a medium article instead. You can read it here:
https://medium.com/bambuu/...
In short, it's about Apple's weird legal practices when it comes to Apple Developer accounts.
tl;dr
- Apple has "obvious" security reasons that requires a copy of a photo id, and you aren't allowed to conceal sensitive information
- Apple's favorite form of communication is fax and snail mail
- Apple needs multiple signatures and court documents to just change your account name. -
Now this has take my faith away from any email I receive... Fuck that shit, Suggest me ideas to reverse spam them.
9 -
Fucking corporate bullshit, I was coding (mostly creating bugs and pulling my hair off) all night on my free time (I'm on night shifts I keep the schedule when I have my days off) and at the moment I was making huge progress on my project, I gotta go to sleep to go back to work 4h later to follow a fucking 2h training on team efficiency and cohesion, in other words, how to waste 2h in a useless meeting and not getting it back + interrupting the only night I was in the zone, I'm so tired of this....2
-
Anyone who willingly uses Python 2 and doesn't try to convert it to Python 3 will be shot on site.3
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This looks pretty interesting, I wonder, whether it's worth the money (look at the 96%(!) off). Of course you're not gonna be "hackerman" after completing this, but it might be interesting nonetheless.
Opinions?
https://deals.thehackernews.com/sal...1 -
Somebody has to say it.
React is a lot more trouble that it's worth and has fewer good ideas than people give it credit for. It's a great tool for any other context that's not the browser, and the only reason its the new cool kid in town is because Facebook made it so, and because x-rays went nowhere.5 -
I have to make a presentation for my school in PowerPoint, but guess what? I don't have that shit and my school doesn't give you any student accounts or activation keys. So I can either 1. Spend money just so I could make that one presentation or 2. Torrent that shit.
Listen here, school employees, you fucking pieces of shit. I will NOT spend money on that shit and I will NOT torrent it and get viruses into my lovely PC.
Some people don't have an office subscription, school. In fact, I think my school has cracked software on their computers too! I can definitely pay or torrent that but I won't, because fuck you that's why.
And I'm 100% sure that complaining would get me in trouble, because teachers are always right and students are always wrong. So far student complaints never worked out, so I won't even try complaining about this.
If you think I'm wrong please tell me why in the comments, because I would like to change my mind about this whole situation.8 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
-
I was just begged to play 30 minutes of monopoly with my family
With all those versions of monopoly I'll have to be more precice, it's the worst of them all
It's monopoly fucking zapped, you need an ios device to play it, it's been developed for the iPhone 4 and maybe a tablet because they didn't even update it for current phones, not even iPhone 5
The credit cards are a fucking joke, they work by touching certain parts of the touchscreen and don't work 85% of the time you try to use them, 5% of the time just choosing the wrong person
At least your relieved when 10% chance kicks in where it works for once
Instead they could developed for Android and used nfc tags making it reliable and fun, no it has to be shitty, cheap and frustrating
Like seriously, they could've also used qr codes instead, or just have fucking buttons on the screen because you need the fucking ios app anyway
The minigames are at least a bit of thought, but don't really make sense either
Money doesn't seem to matter, sometimes paying another player when it shouldve been pay to the bank (yeah, not only the credit cards are fucked, the whole money system is shit)
It's a fucking abomination of a game
Halfway through I searched for the company name on the board...
...
....
ITS FUCKING HASBRO, OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING HASBRO THAT FUCKING PEACE OF SHIT FUCKING COMPANY THAT DESERVES TO ROT IN HELL HAVING CREDIT CARDS STUFFED UP THEIR FUCKING ASSES7 -
i was about to talk about golang - but it can wait.
snapchat's discover section is TERRIBLE. the amount of BULLSHIT, INCORRECT INFORMATION, AND PURE IDIOCY IS MAKING IT TERRIBLE.
now, usually, i rant about mashable when i say it's terrible. AT LEAST WHEN MASHABLE WROTE ABOUT THIS THEY WERE CORRECT. but no, alas, my faith in humanity is put to an all time end. a new evil has arose, by the name of "wired."
of course, and incredibly late to the party, a "tech" outlet wrote about bitcoin. the headline was "is bitcoin killing the planet?" IT HAS BEEN POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE IVE READ OF ALL TIME. THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANY SHIT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT.
let's take a look at the TWO facts they got wrong, and displayed to over a MILLION people.
now, instead of just GOOGLING TWO SIMPLE FACTS, THEY DECIDED TO JUST WRITE RANDOM SHIT.
ENOUGH WAITING - HERE THE THE TWO FACTS THEY GOT WRONG
picture 1: bitcoin up $900 in the last year? THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING
.
.
.
YEAR?!?
WHY DO SUCH DUMBASSES HAVE ACCESS TO SOMETHING MILLIONS VIEW?
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
picture two: the actual fuck????
did i just read that?
b- bi- bitcoin will "run dry" BY 2032.
i think i finally figured it out.
these facts, they're literally just random number.
<thoughtBubble>
i can see it now:
wired employee 1: hey, guess what number im thinking of?
wired employee 2: 14?
wired employee 1: *screaming* BITCOIN WILL RUN DRY IN 14 YEARS
</thoughtBubble>
how do these people get hired. do they hire only hire 12 year old interns? im genuinely asking. does anyone know?
okay, end of rant. plz continue complaining about dumbasses who have power thru the media in tech9 -
What the hell is wrong with android studio?! I want to try android app developmemt but whenever I launch the android studio it tells me that it needs updates to continue, that too are damn large, then it'll say grandle sync is not working, sometimes it will freeze and sometimes it will give random bullshit issues. It's the single piece of shit that never want to work!7
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Things that make you regret you are not a normal grunt in any other fucking job outside of software development...
Few years back we had the biggest customer ever close to signing contact with us (b2b). They had a CRM they wanted to connect to our CRM because their users didn't want to use IE with ActiveX anymore, the old software was a fucking RDP over IE to a server behind a VPN.
Boss brags how we can implement every API on Earth with our team and gets the contract signed. Technically not a lie but we agreed on a company meeting a few month prior to not implement each API for every customer but expose one ourselves because we had enough big customers on that one software to not want 100+ unique API connectors in our code.
So we apparently agreed to not only build our side of the API but also pay 2/3 of the bill of the other company for implement their shitty excuse of an API...
Fast forward a few month, talking to the other companies dev daily to get their API up and running, our part is long done. Finally get things set up and data flows... suddenly shit hits the fan. That shitty excuse of CRM can't expose the created and modified timestamps to the API. Webhooks never got implement and now we have no way of knowing which data changed because their side is completely passive.
Fast forward to a few weeks back. Still no solution. Shit is running, barely. Data inconsistency is low because everyone knows they should never change things in the old CRM because the changes might not be synced. (Only one indictor is a custom modified date on the main customer data that only updates if the main data was changed but there are 20+ different possible subsets. Can't get changes in subsets detected, like ever)
One fucking grunt updated 129 customer-profiles in the old CRM. Nothing was synced.
They still use the old shit for billing.
Their it-crowd-guy calls me up:
"Sorry but we need to generate the bills tomorrow and there seems to be some kind of desynchronization between the databases"
No shit? Someone did exactly what we told you not to do and now that one thing we warned you about happened but now it's our fault? Use the fucking force sync button we built for that purpose and that purpose alone. It will only take 7 days because that fucking SOAP API is slow as fuck and you have millions of datasets to sync...
Fml I might just try and jump out the window, sounds like a lot of fun in days like this.
tl;dr never implant against dynamics ax aif soap API if you want to keep some basic level of sanity2 -
Fucking asynchronous code can be very annoying sometimes. Had to struggle the whole day yesterday to get it work properly so I fetch all the results from a function which does many asynchronous calls.
Then I realized that I just need two more counter variables to increase and later decreases to detect when all of them finished.
That shit..1 -
When I only want to code, but university LaTeX bullshit burns my time 😭 they dont even have clear rules.
Not to mention that their formatting rules make my work look like shit I would never read myself.5 -
Just finished the personality and cognitive assessment for the position I applied for. The cognitive assessment I do not think I did well at all. I think something is pressing me to stay in my current job and work on my start up instead. I have another test for another company where I log into a server and do some magic, this industry really likes there tests and assessments. Jumping through all these hoops and what I find totally messed up, is after being hired there are no safe guards to protect you of bring fired, even after all the assessments, tests, and other bullshit, and hoops to jump through, they can still easily fire you, so why the fuck all this bullshit? Hire me, if you don't like me, fire me, that is what your going to do anyways. Idk if these assessments make you feel any better about that, but they really are rather worthless and do not measure anything worthwhile.5
-
Fried two devices today by simply connecting them to a power source.
Changed nothing in the circuitry, no shorts due to solder residues (a simple modification was made), no changes in the input parameters. Check.
The afromentioned devices should have only minor HW changes compared to a previous version I'm working with and as far as I can see absolutely nothing which should cause the damn microcontroller to release smoke like a steam train. (All right, a very miniature steam train.)
So the only significant difference might be the firmware which I didn't check yet but will tomorrow. Not my code and the corresponding IDE just basically sucks. Yay.
On the other hand, the Software part finally feels like I'm getting somewhere. It seems just ... to work. Very suspicious.
Feeling ambivalently frustrated and relieved at the same time. Sigh.7 -
I was supposed to have an interview for a software developer internship at a bank today, but they rescheduled last minute due to a "time conflict". This was to be my first summer internship interview. As if they didn't put me under enough stress already... Now I find out all my stress all week long was for naught.
God fucking dammit.3 -
"I fully believe in investing in our people to further their brilliance"
...."have an hour a week to look at Plurasight"
*Looks at Plurasight course lengths*
1 -
The University Struggle: when you want to actually code and learn your major but you have an English essay, a Spanish project, chemistry homework, and a book to read all within two days.
.
.
.
Not to mention my actual computer science classes don't teach anything useful in terms of programming7 -
What the fuck this fucking shit of an app supposedly went through five rounds of QA and I broke it in 5 minutes? Holy fucking shit How this is the main point of your job. You shitty shits take forever getting this PR to me and now it’s buggier than a haunted house on Halloween?
After this is after wanting to cuss Apple for making me update the os then then xcode then iTunes just to recognize the goddamn development phone. It’s an app built off Cordova it works for like 14 versions of iOS just run the bugger you over priced aluminum chassis dildo riding fruit Fuckers.
Now back to the goddamn cluster fuck I just got delivered. What the goddamn fuck. This level of bullshittery I have not seen before. And apparently Cordova is only partly de-sandboxed? I don’t know for sure because I don’t have time to test it because I’m running the entire technological stack of this company on a junior dev salary!
When you tell me it goes though all this QA and you spend 2 weeks on just QA tickets for fucks sake the first operation I do, the most common fucking operation on the app, the shit we have been building around all this fucking time, should not fucking error out. For fucks sake at least try to get the main fucking thing working. I recognize you did a lot of work and implemented a number of features but what the fuck good are they if I can’t even run them for one fucking time. -
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
I hate corporate doublespeak.
A CTO was fired after 2 years at the position because he insisted on some projects that didn't stick and were not profitable for the company. The word spread throughout the corridors that he was destroyed by the CEO in a board meeting, and soon after he left. The HR sent an e-mail right away for the entire IT sector THANKING him by "the invaluable effort in bringing in important projects to the company that raised the tecnology to the next level".
Oh, come on.3 -
In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
-
Tomorrow, my team will receive TV reporters for an economy magazine.
We'll have to fake a meeting and the Marketing Officer insisted that everyone has to be present.
I wanted to do teleworking on that day because of the huge strike of the public transports.
Guess who will wake up at 5:45 tomorrow morning?3 -
The feeling when you're in the zone for some important tasks and your coworkers just come and seat besides your table, start bullshitting each other with their flights delay stories. I wish there is a dismiss button for this kind of occasions.2
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Oh man. When I look for a job after I'm done with school, I need to watch out for those "pay-per-line" bullshit contracts. More lines? Everyone can do that, but it will cause inefficiency just for the money. I could make a fucking Python Hello World program have 100 needed lines if I wanted to, but why would I? More lines = more typing ≠ more work.3
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Customer: "There are only 'X' values in COLUMN_D, your - report - import is wrong!"
Me: select count(*) from table_a where column_d is not in ('X') -> returns more than a thousand... Yeah please only scroll within a couple hundreds of records in your shitty sql client gui without making queries. Fuckhead. -
Ugh, I hate having to port data from windows to Mac. I myself use Linux and windows. My mom got her first Mac for her birthday, but she needed her 200gb of pictures on I cloud. So I thought it would be like Dropbox, put them in a folder or start an upload and then it processes and is on the cloud. NO. It’s a hellscape as Apples windows programs are awful and I’m ashamed they exist. There is no indication of when they have successfully uploaded, you just have to figure it out. It also doesn’t help when macOS Is oversimplified. Ugh. I ended up taking my terabyte external and having to wait 3 hours for files to transfer and put those on the MacBook. I hate I cloud more than comic sans. I know Dropbox isn’t great or even good for security reasons, but it’s a hell of a lot better than I cloud BULLSHIT.
-
How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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Badass scenario:
Professor: writes a loop to sum up first five numbers and asks the output.
Me: 500
Other random student: 15
Prof praises him.
He runs the code.
Output: 500 ( internal server error)
(He had a missing semicolon) 😅6 -
Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.
Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.2 -
On a conference call for this university-affiliated web app:
Random supervisor: “I think the demo presentation needs some more jazz!”
Another supervisor: “Maybe we can do a virtual reality demo of the site, then!”
What. The. Fuck.1 -
Need to finish a demonstration ASAP as I'm already behind schedule.
(don't judge me ಠ_ಠ)
Start working, laptop restarts for fuck knows why and doesn't wanna log in.
Now this..
THANKS MICROSOFT!
6 -
If I had some reliable metric to measure bullshit per file, let's call it BPF, I believe the number would be highest on average for files named "gulpfile.js"2
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Instagram trying to trademark the word 'gram', like is that shit even possible? Trademark a standardized unit? (except for the imperials out there of course but still, its a standard) its like someone trying to trademark the word year or something, bullcrappo5
-
When it is Friday and you want to be productive, but you have spent the entire time since sitting down at work fixing Visual Studio and its bullshit.1
-
Project manager asked me to directly communicate with our client.
BUT, he told me what to say and what not to say.
BULLSHIT! All of these business "etiquettes" and formalities are just a waste of time for both the clients and us.
If only I could, I would simply cut all these nonsense and just communicate honestly.2 -
"Google disables location sharing in Google+ before enabling it for everyone in Google Maps"
The actual fuck google 😡
Source: https://redd.it/61y49w
1 -
How to sell a useless product
Include those words: #blockchain #cloud #AI #chatbot #machine_learning #bullshit ..2 -
LOL, yeah also know as "trending bullshit" 😂😂😂
"Trending in your industry: Five Ways To Make Your Boss Happy"
3 -
You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.1
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"learning" html and css
So, there are these courses in my school, "ÜK" ("Überbetriebliche Kurse") we call them.
It's 5 days, a Tuesday to Thursday, next week Tuesday and Wednesday, last day in the afternoon we have a test.
Today is that Wednesday
I know html and css pretty well, so if was pretty easy, I didn't even bother to do some of the tasks we had
I did look through the book over the weekend to make sure I knew my stuff right
Now, the theoretical part of the test had stuff like "colspan" witch was nowhere to be seen in the book and PowerPoints, and some stuff was just unclear as fuck, seriously...
*looks up colspan*
Apparently it's a table cell that spans two columns, or more, if you want to
I never needed something like that, and we never looked at it, that's why I didn't know about it.
There where other unclear questions as well, so I went to the teacher after the test and told him.
He gave me an empty test where I made an X for stuff that wasn't in the book or the PowerPoints and wrote a bit for the stuff that was unclear.
I did know some more then some in the class, so I generally xed the stuff that we didn't learn
The teacher will correct it accordingly, and cut out the questions that we couldn't have known.
So that's at least something
For the next class, he's going to have some "theoretical learning" or whatever he called it
I mean, in the end it's fair, but it annoys me that these courses aren't as well thought out as they should be...
So after this course I can say:
I DIDN'T LEARN A FUCKING THING
Btw, the second part was changing a website up the way its telling you to, that was easier the the theoretical part, witch was ticking the right fucking box...5 -
When you spend an hour debugging why an API call isn't working and find out YOU MADE A FUCKING TYPO! FUCK YOU ANALYSIS IS A STUPID WORD ANYWAY1
-
For the past 5 hours I’ve been backing up my pc, reinstalling windows(full wipe of every drive) and, reinstalling programs to my fucking pc. I can now say I’ve been to hell and back, because fuck everything, now I need to rebuild it because 2 years ago “oh cable management is optional I don’t need to do that.” So fml. And especially fuck apple and windows. Fucking windows with having to reinstall once a year and Apple with overpriced bullshit lightning to 3.5 adapters, $10 for one because they removed 3.5 jacks. @linuxxx I understand why Linux is a good alternative although it sucks for gaming due to no support( I know about wine but I don’t want to use it due to it having problems half the time)5
-
I hate you fucking callbacks. why don't you callback in the fucking order you were motherfucking called!!!! why must you force me to call a callback a callback!! 😣😡😤👹
2 -
It is approximately 42 degrees C outside. And guess whose fucking compressor just went to shit? Mine. Fucking piece of shit. I absolutely fucking hate this shit. Finding the time to go to the shop is pointless when I can fix it myself, but IN the fucking event that the compressor is actually faulty and needs to be replaced then I would have to struggle to wait for the fucking part to get here. If my luck permits and this is an issue that is fixable through a simple relay change then fucking hooray.
But I know how fucking shitty my fucking luck is and its going to fuck me in the ass probably. I will troop through the heat, no problem, but I am the one that carries my 2 year old daughter everywhere and I am not about to put her through that bullshit.
So I call my wife and explain to her the situation, I don't need for her to do fucking anything, I can take care of it myself, but I tell her NOT to have me go out on random bullshit with the girl while the car is like that, I did it to make her understand beforehand because every day is an additional 1 and a half hours of driving around the city to take her do bullshit. I told her that in the event of me needing to go pick something up then it would have to be after the fucking sun goes out(which in this fucking bullshit ass town it happens after fucking 7 or 7:30pm) and she would have to stay home with the girl. What does she do? she gets upset. Of course she got fucking upset. Like if I need that fucking bs right now. OH and my fucking main Linux machine is apparently having battery issues.
OAN my manager gave me my performance review yesterday. The she made are outstanding and my score is perfect. The board is going to give a raise to everyone of us that got an high enough score so that got me in a good mood. I am holding on to that feeling before I lose my shit. Every single fucking time some bs puts me in this mood I am constantly wishing that a motherfucker would.
Fucking bullshit man. Can't have a FUCKING break anyfuckingwere.
This just in on an episode of Murphy's fucking law.6 -
I'm super pissed off... I recently got this job, I've been here for three months but in the current project for a month and a half... in this time I learned Laravel and the project is no big deal, I'm more than happy to learn but I'm working with a "Senior" programmer who "has a lot of experience" and "knows a lot" and "very friendly"... the thing is that we use Jira and BitBucket to assign work and control versions, however, the motherfucker doesn't do a shit and when I ask him about something, he totally ignores me... I checked on the latest merges and tickets and I've done like 50 within this month and a half and he has done like 15... He also made me do a big ass thing with a PDF and at the end he completely destroyed it and just used a table with no styles that looks like shit. He took 40 minutes to tell me something he already knew about the models because "I'm sorry, I got distracted"... What should I do?2
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Im currently doing my first project as a junior dev. I'm working with asp.net core and I had only used regular asp.net before. The project owner who was the guy that used to own the company I work for had only asked me if i was versed in asp.net and said that it was what I was going to work with. So from the start I'm a little bumed out. The difference isn't enourmous, but still.
First day, he says that we are going to use TFS for version handling (god damnit) then he says he has started a bit and has done the first push... And we're missing files. But he's asleep by the time i do the pull (9 hour timezone difference).
Next day he has gotten all the files up and I also get to know that I will be working alone and still have to use TFS.
A few days later he tells me I'm gonna present the first version the next week...
Oh, and did I mention that this is for one of the biggest companies in the world that the very top managers will use. Including CEO, cto etc4 -
I fucking hate asp.net web forms. Today we implemented listboxes, so we expected them to just be a wrapper for HTML listboxes. NOPE! They are simply selects. Why they decided to hijack the name and do this, I don't know. That does explain why they don't have multiple columns like true listboxes.
So glad that for the next project, which we should start by the end of May, we'll be moving to MVC and .Net core. This shit is so stupid!3 -
Fucking slave traders who want to "touch base" - They ain't coming anywhere near my base, horrible fuckers!
Why can't they just phone or better still email me!?3 -
Was bored af with assignment at hand. So just went ahead and wrote a class to implement Eat. Sleep. Code. Repeat. XD
6 -
Starting up my iPhone 4s to test something
Low battery, I plug it in
It charges, I put it down and let it download an app,
after 5 mins it starts making the sound of unplugging/replugging, something with the cable or the phone is broken, when I was with iphones, these cables were so bad, didn't matter if from Apple or third party
Fucking cables always broke on me
Since Android I never broke a single one, olf micro USB still holding up fine
I guess usb C is even better, but micro serves me a lot better than any fucking apple bullshit cables3 -
This "rootless" OS X El Capitan security feature is bullshit for developers. Just found that one out the hard way.2
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People, finally back with a rant😌
You definitely have heard about the new privacy policies in the EU. What do you guys think about this BS?
Who the actual fuck has come up with such trash? Politicians can be such dumbfucks sometimes wtf..😐🤔18 -
Can I just say that anyone who requires a very specific and very deprecated GTK theme for their GUI are going straight to hell along with people whose GUIs call xserver directly on distros that use other window servers
-
"Boss, we have a problem!"
"Don't say that, we call it -opportunity-"
"Boss, we have a lot of opportunities, the server is down."
"Ow..that's a problem"2 -
!Dev
A fucking 3 hour drive turned into 7 hours!!!
7 HOURS!!!
Turned out part way in that the drivers side rear brake was sticking, and heating up the hub to the point it was too hot to touch.
Ended up waiting in a car park for an AA patrol (they didn't turn up, they sent a local garage), to be told that they couldn't tow me anywhere as there was no tow van available, and there was no courtesy car available within 200 miles.
Turned out that there was enough left on the pads that I could still stop if need be with no metal hitting the discs, but as the pad was binding, I couldn't use the fucking brakes all the way here or they would likely stick and do damage.
40 mph for the remaining 87 miles.
Whats the fucking point in paying for onward journey cover or courtesy car if the scum sucking AA fuckbags don't have the infrastructure to provide it??
Seriously, what the fuck was I paying for?????
This would never happen in Germany - the ADAC guys wouldn't provide such a shoddy service!!!2 -
I'm getting pretty tired of all those fuck faces calling themselves "evangelists" and are talking constantly and euphorically about "digitalisation" and "industry 4.0", as if their "skills" (using a smartphone to share kitten videos and making pointless PowerPoint slides using stock images showing some stupid motherfucker with VR goggles making weird gestures) would help them to rise to the pinnacle of "the future" (as conceived by them), while those stupid shit heads are exactly those we'll get rid of first as soon as somebody develops a bullshit generator AI for technobabble (with an export function to PowerPoint), putting those morons out of business for good.1
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Customer calls
Talking about some new feature he haven't totally thought about. so i tell him to think about it.
Talking about a bug, but can't reproduce it.
Talking about another enormous new feature but halt it after hearing the initial estimation.
Total time waster = 1.5 hours for every day.
DON'T LET CUSTOMERS WASTE YOUR DEVELOPMENT TIME.
instead of talking - use project tracking software (i.e. JIRA) -
Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.
Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.
Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.
If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure...1 -
I hit a new low today, managed to blue screen my machine from eclipse..... How the f- did I manage that?!
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Back in the days, i was on my way back home, after visiting my wife who brought our little son to life, it once blew my mind.
The terminology "inherit" is complete bullshit.
Why is that?
Because, a child isn't able to do anything the parents can, immediately.
It has to learn every single ability from it's parents or who knows else.
Maybe a kid won't be able to learn a specific ability from it's parents at all.
Furthermore, a child doesn't have a single parent.
There are always mom and dad.
Ok. Besides that, there is the option of a solo parentship, if a woman decides to breed based on frozen code ;) -
The boss says I have no right to nag him about payment. But actually sends me PMs about side tasks/projects that I am never paid for.
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---Background:
So yesterday I watched a short documentary about the FUCKING WORST RIPOFF IN THE WORLD: "the church of" Scientology.
Don't get me started on why you shouldn't join a cult on a philosophical level, it's enough to know that it's a ripoff to never want to join.
---
Anyway, they have their bullshit mandatory "counseling" called "auditing" which costs 500$ each time.
Now whenever I hear the word "auditing" I think of that.
I imagined a system audit as the sysadmin taking the PCs/servers to Scientology for counselling. -
Fuck ATT, Fuck their company, Fuck their router, Fuck everything they stand for. I just spent 3 hours trying to solve an issue with their fucking router and my bonded nic setup on my home server. I still don't have it completely setup correctly. I just want to murder them at this point. I really need to build my own fucking router at this point. It would end up being so much easier.2
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I love C# but I think that the addition of async/await did more harm than good. Hardly anyone can understand how to use it correctly and the only people who grok its black magic fuckery enough to write about it are MS employees. Try to do anything with it? Nope, there's a high falutin blog post by the likes of Stephen Cleary explaining why everything you know is wrong and you should have never even used async/await in the first place. Even worse is that to use the supposedly game-changing feature requires you to rewrite your entire fucking codebase.
Can you tell that I'm frustrated trying to wrap my head around async/await?4 -
I try to do one thing, I try to make one thing a little better and the universe shovels shit in my face. I’m just trying fix all this old outdated shot and I keep getting shit on in so many ways. I’m trying so hard to not become a bitter angry old man but damn if I don’t understand the bitter angry old mans motives right now. Fuck this ongoing onslaught of crashes and shit shows.
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Just spent 4 hours finishing a bullshit assignment for a bullshit class for college. I've never been so close to actually kick my PC as when I was trying to make MS Word put a fucking table *above* some text instead of *in the middle* of a fucking word. For context: I've played 5 hours of DS3 fighting pontiff sulyvahn and didn't rage.
The worst part: it's a fucking group assignment, so I can't use something like latex, since in the only one who knows it. Even then, I would have to make sure I'm using the correct font, since the professor only allows one specific font *and* he sometimes checks it. No idea how, since we print it, but he failed some people because of wrong font. -
so one of our managers sent me an email what has to be changed in our FAQ section which runs on WP...
but then i remembered, our cleaning lady had a surgery and wasn't here for a week, maybe she will not come for another week and the kitchen is already starting to get real smelly...
so i created a user for our manager and sent him the credentials to his brand new WP editor account so he can make his changes and went to wash the dishes instead
the end.1 -
When your computer illiterate supervisor takes the credit for how great your development and delivery strategy is.
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I've been working on the same project for a month or so. Now I'm fixing bugs (to be read as 'changing a lot of features and adding new things, because we don't really know what we need'), and I'm getting really, like REAAAALLY bored with it. There's so much nonsense. Now I wish I were somewhere else, maybe on a beach with a beer in my hand.1
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I have spent the last 2 days on the phone trying to get support for certain issues...
- Amazon
- Quickbooks
- CRA
It is universal that all support lines are complete garbage. Shitholes for stupid people to get paycheques.
I have noticed that this task has actually had a negative impact on the emotional state and it upsets me further that I have allowed this.
I am getting a virtual assistant to handle this because frankly, my time is too valuable to be consistently wasted by stupid people delivering no results.
"I am a software engineer and have tried all the normal debugging techniques"
"Did you try restarting it?"
"Yes, that was the first thing I did..."
"Well, would you mind doing it again"
"Yup... It did not work"
"Hmmmmm....."
5 minutes of silence...
"Have you tried the next step that you already read on our support site"
"Yes!"
"Could you try it again for me?"
"FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!"
I am literally listening to someone who is reading the god damn support page (and reading it at what seems to be a 3rd-grade level) GREAT!!!!1 -
Fuck when the app builds on everyone else's machine in the company but yours and you have no idea why. I pulled the same branch from the source control, made sure everything was right, even tried just copying it directly from a co-worker's machine but it just won't fucking work. Fuck you extjs for not letting me work for now almost 5 hours. Fuck you.2
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Atlassian truly know its way to use marketing euphemisms in such a way that it feels like a slap in my face and kick into my groins.
The next time my app crashes and people come running to me that they cannot used it at all, I will simply state that I am looking into reports of people seemingly experiencing "degraded performance".
At least they are consistent, as they did that as well in the past with their [minor glitch](https://devrant.com/rants/922343/...) thing.1 -
I hate html and css. It's fucking horseshit. It needs to be auto-generated with a visual editor or something.
I just want to write programming logic in js. Fuck aligning divs and pictures. Fuck UI.17 -
TLDR: FUCKING AMAZON SCREWING SHIT UP
Alright here we go:
So I bought a SmartWatch on Amazon yesterday and I chose overnight delivery so it should have been delivered today. I was all excited and then I went to sleep. When I woke up I checked if they shipped my order and guess what... Amazon fucking told me to choose another payment option and I was only able to choose a credit card... I dont even fucking have a credit card and why the fuck didnt you tell me right away when I selected my usual payment method? A big FUCK YOU to Amazon. I bought the watch on ebay now and it will arrive on saturday and Im so mad about it...3 -
Just fired up my Windows 10 VM and it goes ham... there is nothing installed but office.
Why!?
Seriously. If someone can explain to me why this is necessary, I'd greatly appreciate it!
It's 15 minutes past when I've resumed the VM from suspension now and it's still going on like that and it's slow as fuck.
I don't want this to escalate to an OS war. Tastes are different.
As I was writing this: apparently Office is updating itself by default consuming a shitload of system resources while doing so. This is fucked up...
4 -
tl;dr: "Hey everyone plz look at me! I'v rebranded 'Vanilla CSS', look at me plz!!!"
...How to create a buzzword, lesson 1 :
Make a blog post about your freshly-pooped buzzword and start that same post by some poorly crafted pseudo-meta-thinking about buzzwords, just enough to try hard enforcing the idea that we still don't have enough of these bullshits and so yours is needed even if it's totally useless.
https://webdesignerdepot.com/2018/...2 -
Dear Gfycat, why in the seven fucks do your direct links not work with lowercase letters?
https://gfycat.com/oblongobedientca... works just fine but https://giant.gfycat.com/oblongobed... crashes and burns because 3 letters in the user's name are uppercase?
Now I have to find a way to hack my way out of this bullshit in my app. Thanks, you cunts.7 -
Don't you hate when you wanna install arch on your 6 year old laptop but it turns out it's uefi when you have already made partitions that is ext4 when you should have made it fat and then when you remove the partitions and do everything all over again you get some bullshit error when trying to use arch-chroot!
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All the contractors have to take furlough for the holidays, but the company spends the money to buy a bunch of $1300 televisions for no better reason than corporate vanity.
I'm sure the softs think it's the greatest thing ever though.
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What is your worst project you have worked on ?
Ans) my self, I have worked on CMS project called as Ellis pathway, which is my ever worst project I have worked on. It was developed on the language called omnimark, have you by any chance heard about it ?. Moreover it was used to process XML and the worst nightmare would when XML is 500mb and it is not valid after process. I have spent shit lot of hours fixing XML manually.. I literally fucked my self there. Thank God I somehow managed to quit and move on.1 -
I’m working on buying a license from a company with completely opaque pricing. To the point they are asking me what I want to pay and then getting offended with I low ball them! WTF do you expect?! List some freaking prices.2
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I tried using Lynda the other day for what I assumed would be improving my theoretical knowledge of digital forensics. Part of the lesson in "advanced" digital forensics was that people change filename extensions to make them look innocuous, and how to use nano.
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Ported proprietary Chinese dll for specific device hid control and my windows program around it to macOS using swift.
Yeah that's pretty much how I feel. -
How one's inner and outer behaviour would be, when you boss is bullshitting you ?
Outer me : oh is it, wow you are knowledgeable person.
Inner me: fuck you bitch, get the fuck out. You lame sob..!!!3 -
FUCKING NGINX...........
I moved a website to a new server, and nginx redirects me to another fucking website on the same server. I have been trying to fix that for FUCKING 3 HOURS. I did everything. Disabled EVERY site on that server except that one, works. I go back. Guess what..... haha it goes back and FUCKING REDIRECTS ME TO OTHER SITES. You have to be fucking kidding me right 🖕. I check if I miswrote anything, check if it's the control panels fault (doesn't look like it). I make a vhost myself for the site (with the other still active to check if it detected the vhost). Reload...
nginx: "One vhost was ignored because the servername already exists". Yeah yeah you twat nginx.
So le me disables every site again (except le not working site). I enable every site again.
nginx: "owh hey * someip * heres the site".
Me: .............. 😡😡 fucking twat. 🖕🖕
BTW, have no clue what caused it. Seems to work now. It shouldn't be a DNS issue I checked that. Anyone any ideas? Appreciate it.3 -
It’s like my boss is trying to purposely make my life difficult.
He forces me to make two barely started and very complex websites live months early and then spends the rest of the day complaining that things don’t work properly yet.
What the actual fuck, what do you expect?!
But no, people are desperate to read your poorly formatted blog posts about how amazing Gary V is. -
When you're having to add BS/hackey conditionals to your code because the other dev is too damn lazy to fix their code.
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So I'm making a little CMS for a website generated by iWeb from Apple which is ofcourse shit. I just discovered that they include a 6000 lines javascript file with nu purpose except generating the menu from a feed.xml(which includes to other js files). And the most frustrating thing is that it lowers fontSize if you add more text than the viewport. Fucking hell. I'm looking for a way to dismantle this shit.
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When the only thing that standing between you and finishing your app is WebRTC!
BAHHHHHHH, I don't know why, but this thing is kicking my butt. Spent like 2 weeks now trying to get it... Anyone on the community got any good links for how to use this? Because I am losing my mind here D:4 -
4 hours to a major release, decided to remove a web service from the app, instead do whatever that service was supposed to do in a DB query, as just realized that the foresaid service will be called only once to fix some data discrepancy !!!
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This privacy fever isn't bad, at least companies have to pretend to give a fuck a little more now. But the effects aren't all good!
I have updated every app on my android phone at least 2 times in the last 2 - 3 weeks. Argh! Every one of them using the "updates to our privacy policies" card. -
Got an SMS inbound: "Please get in remote control into my laptop before the boat leaves in 3 minutes and I lose Wi-Fi signal, I need an username/password written in [the Windows UAC prompt]"
I was on my lunch break, and saw the message a too late. -
Coming up with tests that show we have met the requirements on the project, some of the requirements are "Use method X" to perform this computation, boss says "we can't simply refer to the documentation/source code demonstrating that this method is used" ... WTF....
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Dear real estate industry,
if you define a horrible exchange format as CSV file. Then fucking stick to that specification or give me access to your horrible 90s style tooling so I can at least figure out why every crap tool exports in a slightly different way.
How in the world am I supposed to map your data if you keep changing the field count (which is the only way of validating an exported file).
You pretend to be innovative by specifying an industry wide standard but you aren't able to stick to it.
Fuck you, and the one guy "developing" the specification. Seriously... One guy has the responsibility? Do you really think that's a good idea.
Get your shit together!
Yours,
every developer working in your industry -
I'm tasked to set up a small network with a Cisco router and switch. The router only has one FastEthernet port but it's okay because VLAN trunking is a thing. So I go through each config, set up an IP addressing scheme, SSH, DHCP, VLAN's and secure each device. I go to setup trunking on the port connecting the switch to the router and find out the switch doesn't support encapsulation (required for trunking)... Oh and because it's uni equipment I'm not allowed to update the IOS on the switch. Fml2
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My co founder/ co-coder and I always have funny and wierd conversations. It got to the point that we've started a podcast. They're short and it would mean the world to us if you'd listen and give us feedback as you lot are all trustworthy codey people!
You can find the podcast here: https://anchor.fm/blooware4 -
I saw an article that stated that Java is the most used programming language... NICE SENSE OF HUMOR...what can I say.9
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Not quite quitting a job but my course in college. Had 5/6 lecturers in my first semester last year that were totally unprepared and some were even clueless on simple things. One line was if I had five more minutes it would have worked when showing us how to code in python(he was using Java conventions) this was 10 minutes after the lecture should have finished. After 3 months of that utter crap and a summer of studying for repeat exams(had mumps for the original exams) I was ready to quit. Good thing the year I was in was good fun to hang out with other wise I would be working in McDonald's right now
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When a manager / "architect" starts saying complete nonsense about how some technology works, because he read a bit about it on the internet, but you prefer to just let him talk than proving him wrong. Not worth my time...1
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You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!! -
RIP GitHub
Take a service I like and pay for, a service that is about open source and collaboration, and sell it to a company that is complete garbage and has for years been hated for selling garbage overpriced software that is just terrible.
I’m not looking to argue about Windows (it’s garbage no matter how much you want it not to be) but Microsoft as a company is just not a fit for GitHub.
I’m not stupid though, I see the goal. The goal is that old school, shitty emperor use software teams will be more likely to use GitHub if it is owned my MS. On the same way that many of them force their employees to use garbage Windows machines because “it’s what we have always done”.
GitHub will become another shitty service that some people argue is good based on their ignorance
Of other options. This is sad.
TLDR: I fucking dislike this acquisition entirely and will immediately remove all private repos from GitHub and cancel my subscription on Monday if it is announced.3 -
So if this app is made in JavaScript why do they sell this bullshit that it's native?
http://frontendbox.io/3
Every time I fix a Java exception and JavaScript doesn't complain about the changes.