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Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.
[Checking...]
Me: It's running in Drupal
Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.
Me: Who the hell is "she"?
Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]
Me: Is she a developer?
Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.
Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.
Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.
Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.
Owner: What the fuck is terminal?
Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?
Owner: You sure are grouchy today.
Me: Yep...37 -
Dear Websites,
If I have to go through a fucking slideshow or even multiple pages to see your content, I won't be on your site for more than 5 seconds.
Sincerely,
Everyone7 -
I wonder when there will be the first manufacturer to introduce the "cool" new notch design to normal screens. 🤔
27 -
Me wanting to board Plane,
Goes through security Check...
"Sorry sir Laptops are not allowed."
Me
"Why?"
Security
"It could be a modified bomb"
Me
"But this is a Tablet!"
Security
"No sir, it has a Keyboard and Trackpad attached to it, its also running Windows..."
Me
"Excuse me, but this is clearly a Tablet"
*Detatches Keyboard from Surface Book*
"See? Tablet."
Security,
"Sorry sir, but no. You cant board the plane with this, only Tablets and Smartphones"
Me
"WTF? you dont allow Laptops because they could be bombs but A FUCKING SMARTPHONE IS ALLOWED? AND TABLETS TOO?!"
Security
"Yes, because the Battery is not removable..."
Me
"But my Laptop Battery is also not Removable..."
Security
"I dont have anymore Time for an Argument"
Me
"So I can board the Plane?"
Security
"No, the Ticket will be refunded"
WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT? LIKE RLY? WHO!!
I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS ALLOWED?!31 -
!Rant
Support Call:
”our PC stick isn't booting up! Come and fix it! (angry)”
Me:
”The PC are meant to boot up whenever power is delivered to them. Are you sure your TVs are powered on?”
Support Call:
”Yes! I just pressed the power button on both TVs and it didn't turn on the PC sticks.”
Me:
”So you can confirm the TVs are on? Can you change the input and see what happens?”
Support Phone:
”Stop wasting my time and send someone down to fix it now! I told you it isn't working!”
Me:
”Ok, we will get someone out to you as soon as possible.”
Then a support guy drives 2 hours to their store.
When he gets there he realizes that the TVs power is connected to a light switch and they has the switch off!!!
He said ”can we turn on some lights so I can see behind the TV?” and then all the fucking TVs came on.
These are times when I fully understand the concept of “firing a customer”.
The customer sent an email saying ”the downtime for your product was unacceptable.” even after it was explained to them that the problem was them turning off the power.
These fucking idiots actually expect us to deliver products to display on TVs without fucking electricity to run them.
14 -
Me: p
Windows Search: Paint
Me: pow
WS: PowerPoint
Me: powers
WS: Powershell
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk13 -
A HUGE FUCK YOU TO EVERY GODDAMN ONLINE STORE WHO NEEDS A CREDIT CARD NUMBER TO OBTAIN SOMETHING FREE.
(the following is a big fuck you)
______
| ___|
| |_
| _|
| |
\_|
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_| |
\___/
_____
/ __ \
| / \/
| |
| \__/\
\____/
_ __
| | / /
| |/ /
| \
| |\ \
\_| \_/
__ __
\ \ / /
\ V /
\ /
| |
\_/
_____
| _ |
| | | |
| | | |
\ \_/ /
\___/
_ _
| | | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |_| |
\___/10 -
Summary of the summary: Boss is an asshole. Root gets angry; boss leaves instead of picking a fight for once. This makes Root sad (and really angry).
Summary: Root has another interaction with her boss. The boss is an asshole. Root is a bitch. Root would have been so so so much more of a bitch if the boss actually fucking responded. Root is sad this didn't happen. Root might have gotten fired. That would have made Root happy. :<
-------------
Le wild blackout appears!
-- Conference call (the short-short version) --
Boss: *freaks out* Fix it! Why aren't you fixing it? You have to fix it.
Me: I'm already fixing it. 😕
Boss: You have to fix it! This is important!
Me: Then let's get off this call so I can focus on fixing it!
Boss: Okay but fix it! *begrudgingly hangs up*
-- Slack --
Me: (posting a running log of what I'm doing) This is what i discovered. this is the cause. these are the possible fixes. I picked this one because it's quick and has few consequences, though it may break ____ so it'll need followup fixes. I'll do those tomorrow. Blackout resolved!
Boss: (apparently doesn't even noticed I fixed his shitty service)
-- Next day --
Boss: I want you to work on [stupid shit] instead.
Me: But what about the followup fixes?
Boss: Top priority! because customer service!
Me: ... fine.
-- Next week (verbatim because wtf) --
Boss: Did we test that [resolution] on ______? No one thought to test this. It didnt cross anyones mind at all? Either you guys can make good decisions and document concerns or I have to be part of every decision [...]. But this is basic. SHould have been a team heads up and said if we are switching this what can it break and can we test it. [sic]
Me: Did you want me to resolve the blackout quickly and allow people to actually use our service, or spend two days checking everything that might possibly have gone wrong? I weighed the possibilities and picked the solution with the quickest implementation with the fewest consequences. You're welcome.
Me: (Quotes boss's "SHould have been a team heads up" and links my "this is what could go wrong" heads-up in Slack)
Boss: (pretends not to even notice)
Boss: (talks about customer service related crap)
What a fucking loser.
I'm so angry he didn't respond and start in on me over it. I wanted to tear him to shreds in front of everyone.
Related:
He tried adding another huge project to my plate earlier today, and I started flipping out on him for all these shitty sales features he keeps dumping on me in place of real work that i still get blamed for not finishing. The contractor stepped in before it got too heated, though, which is probably best because my reaction was pretty unprovoked. The above rant, though? Asshole doesn't read, just blames and yells when he's angry.
I really hate him.22 -
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!
Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...
13 -
Unpopular opinion about Microsoft buying GitHub.
Just putting it out there that when you made your github repos you did so under their privacy policy and terms and will be protected under those in the future, and that both GitHub and Microsoft are corporations with the goals of making money.
Are people seriously mad that their code has gone from one capitalist corporation to another, with no foreseeable change in privacy or data policy? I have respect for those that switched to self hosted long ago since that's going from corporate to private, but if you throw away the UX and community GitHub has developed because a multinational corporation (with so many branches, products and divisions, which happens to have a few products you don't like) will soon own it, are you actually making a rational, guided decision?
Also just throwing it out there that GitLab is also a company. They've also had issues with keeping data intact in the past. They do, however, have free private repos (although I can't ever trust someone who gives me "free" privacy) as well as builtin CI. There are some definite upsides to it, although the UX has a ton of differences. If you're expecting the same dashboard and workflow you've used on GitHub, don't, GitLab has cool features but the bells and whistles aren't the exact same.
If you're switching to GitLab solely because of Microsoft, step back and think, regardless of how popular it might make you to hate Microsoft, is it really worth changing your development ecosystem to go from one corporate entity to another solely because you don't like the company?
I use GitLab and GitBub as well as Bitbucket and selfhosted git on a daily basis. They each have their upsides and downsides; but I think switching from one to the other solely because of Microsoft is not only totally irrational, but really makes light of/disrespects the amazing tools and UX the teams behind each one have carefully developed. Pick your Git hosting based on features and what works out for your use case, not because of which corporate overlord has their name plastered on it.
(Also just throwing it out there that lots of devs love VS Code, and that's Microsoft owned too... They did also build and pioneer a bunch of really cool shit for devs including Typescript so it's not like they're evil or incapable in any sense?)16 -
What seems to be the problem? Oh, is your wordpress site hacked/infected with malware?
So I guess you decided to disable updates because it might break your shitty little site? And I guess you thought those warnings you got from me and multiple colleagues about what could happen when you didn't update your wordpress bullshit weren't that serious?
Hold on, you want *US* to restore *YOUR* hosting backups?
Hahahahahaha-no.
Go clean up your own fucking bullshit. But, before you click that restore button, please take a cactus, carve 'I am a stupid wordpress cunt' into it, dip it in a bathtub of with blood mixed-infected cum and shove it up your ass.
Oh yeah I'm aware that that won't help your situation but it might keep you from reproducing and at least it'll give me some satisfaction.23 -
The Irish minister Rudd said today (for the second time I think) that 'WhatsApp gives terrorists a safe place to hide and execute their activities. Might be a good idea in the future to ban encrypted chat apps'. (not literally like that but it's a good summary of her points)
Imaginary dialog:
"okay so encrypted chat apps help terrorists and criminals to execute their activities"
"Alright, let's ban water then!"
"Wait what why would you ban water?!? How will ordinary people be able to drink then?"
"Why would you ban encrypted chat apps? How will ordinary people be able to communicate securely?"
😐
😶
😮
😧
😓24 -
The tweet says it all. I'm getting FAR less internet speeds than I'm paying for. I know that technically you get "up to" the speed you pay for but this is rediculous. I'm too lazy to call and fight with my shitty ISP, though. A simple Python script runs a speed test once an hour and if my speeds are less than a set number, it crafts this tweet and tweets at my ISP. I left it running a couple of weeks ago and.the last time I checked it's sent about 600 tweets. I have responses after responses from them but I'm waiting until it sends about a thousand tweets to reply, just out of spite. It continually amazes me the shit ISP's get away with.
34 -
A US senator or judge or whatever his title is said today that he wants companies/governments to build a 'responsible encryption' system.
Preferably that would exist out of a big ass database which stores the private keys of citizens so in case a person loses their private key or the government needs access to encrypted content, that is possible.
NOO, WHAT COULD FUCKING POSSIBLY GO WRONG!?!?!
Seriously those kind of people should not be allowed to have the kind of positions they have.
This shit makes me so angry.45 -
Doot doot.
My day: Eight lines of refactoring around a 10-character fix for a minor production issue. Some tests. Lots of bloody phone calls and conference calls filled with me laughing and getting talked over. Why? Read on.
My boss's day: Trying very very hard to pin random shit on me (and failing because I'm awesome and fuck him). Six hours of drama and freaking out and chewing and yelling that the whole system is broken because of that minor issue. No reading, lots of misunderstanding, lots of panic. Three-way called me specifically to bitch out another coworker in front of me. (Coworker wasn't really in the wrong.) Called a contractor to his house for testing. Finally learned that everything works perfectly in QA (duh, I fixed it hours ago). Desperately waited for me to push to prod. Didn't care enough to do production tests afterwards.
My day afterwards: hey, this Cloudinary transform feature sounds fun! Oh look, I'm done already. Boo. Ask boss for update. Tests still aren't finished. Okay, whatever. Time for bed.
what a joke.
Oh, I talked to the accountant after all of this bullshit happened. Apparently everyone that has quit in the last six years has done so specifically because of the boss. Every. single. person.
I told him it was going to happen again.
I also told him the boss is a druggie with a taste for psychedelics. (It came up in conversation. Absolutely true, too.) It's hilarious because the company lawyer is the accountant's brother.
So stupid.20 -
What the fuck is this one-way interview bullshit?
"The organization you are interviewing with has come up with a series of interview questions that they have requested you to respond to. This is an on-demand interview which means that you'll be recording your video interview answers at your convenience as long as you submit them before the deadline." -- sparkhire.com
Like seriously?
What if I have questions? I have plenty, and I find those questions considerably more important than whatever bullshit gotchas the company wants to annoy me with.
One-way interview.
Fucking really.
At least have the decency to talk to me.38 -
New JS arrow functions:
⇶ (“the gun rack”) – executes three times
↝ (“wiggly boi”) – finds the least efficient solution possible
⟳ (“the self-monch”) – executes forever
⍆ (“🤷”) – adds random side effects
⍅ (“the total and complete s**t”) – undoes the only useful and expected part of its execution
Absolutely hilarious 😆
https://medium.com/@Heydon/...4 -
Team lead dismisses my request for promotion to senior, "need more experience", 3 hours later get job offer for senior position5
-
Job offer:
"There is no hierarchy within this company."
Bullshit.
Given a group of people, a hierarchy will emerge. In any company, a hierarchy will emerge. Even within a team a hierarchy will emerge.
Some people like to butt heads, some people like to go with the flow. It's how you deal with these personalities that matters.
You can try to be as fancy you want and declare your hierarchy to be as flat as a pancake, yet the reality is: there will be one.
Certain people will be trusted more by other people. Certain people will have more power in the decision making process.
Can we please stop deluding ourselves that this is not the case?
And that is not necessarily a bad thing. It only becomes bad if the company culture sucks. Instead of platitudes in regards to the assumed absence of hierarchy, I would be more interested to know how a company deals with its hierarchy.
How is feedback handled? How do people argue? How are decisions made, challenged and implemented?
That's what I would find much more interesting.17 -
Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."
Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."
Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."
Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."
Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."
The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."2 -
Instagram coding pics are so fucking cringe worthy....like for real man. A picture of a simple cpp loop, or averyfuckingbasic Express hello world in some hipster filter with inspirational quotes and everyone looses their shit for it.
Instagram people are so easy.12 -
My recently former job is the most toxic work environment I have worked so far, bar none. Team is fine, product is fine, it's just the upper management who's having problems.
Madam, you don't think I know how you treat your fellow stakeholders and mid-level managers, but I do. You scream at them during meetings. You talk over them, and make them feel invalidated. You pressure them into making them explain their stuff then interrupt them mid-sentence. And you dare think you're entitled to a "proper" response to your notices to explain? That's called intimidation and it shows me how manipulative you can be.
Nevertheless I responded with class by submitting a resignation letter. A resignation letter is a proper response to an NTE, you know.
Madam, I know you scream at the CEO before the rest of the board. We know you said really horrible things to him that have nothing to do with his work. How could you do that to him? He has a lot of bad takes just like you, but he considers you a friend. Friends don't talk down to each other like that. Then you call _me_ the unprofessional guy?
You made my team work six days a week in midst of a horrible commute and you get mad why everyone clocks in habitually late at work?
Yeah so granted that I have a lot of absences and lates. So what? As long as I am performing fine, that's not really an issue. Tech lead thinks it's okay. It's called work-life balance, look it up.
Oh you think we're not doing fine with our product? We know that. That's why there's CI/CD. The amount of bottlenecks and bugs don't justify your obsession over our attendance.
You can hire as many consultants as you want and they will tell you the same damn thing my tech lead and my operations head had been telling you: devs operate on a different timetable. Devs don't work on strict shifts. Nobody works well when they are overworked. When will you admit that to yourself? And you have the gall to call me the arrogant one?!
You already have the mid-level managers, consultants, and some board members to explain all that to you, but you talk them down. So why should I respond to your NTE the way you expect? Hahahahaha
You are the sleaziest, most manipulative, and least jurisprudential person I have ever met, Madam. I don't want to hear anything from you ever again. I hope the future devs you hire will see you for who you really are and be utterly disgusted with you.10 -
My company seems to never have the money to do something right but always have the money to do it twice.4
-
Web Developer Profanity:
Dreamweaver = Motherfucker
GoDaddy = Son of a Bitch
Wix = Go Fuck Yourselves
SquareSpace = Hipster Assholes
Web.com = Piles of dogshit
ASP = Pain in the Ass.15 -
My former job. Imagine hiring consultants, hiring the best dev team, then bypassing the consultants and then breathing down our necks how to do our jobs:
"We need six day workweeks because more days means more work done."
"We need to enforce a 9 AM schedule for all developers so that the other departments won't feel jealous of the devs."
"We need this feature done stat, alongside the existing feature that you guys are doing for that sprint. No if I had to tell the product owner and the Scrum master about it, we would get nothing done."
"Why is the QA uncovering a lot of bugs! Guys this is shameful! You're costing the reputation of this company!"
"You need to deploy that on or before Friday? Do you understand? No it can't be done in two weeks. I already promised my investors that it will be done Friday."
"See you guys later in Slack while we deploy X to server at Monday midnight. And yall still come over at 9 AM."
"You need to implement this feature we thought of while we were drunk last night. No I hadn't told the product owner yet."
"The back-end dev isn't supposed to have access to the production server." Then weeks later scolds the back-end dev, "What is wrong with you? Why do you have no clue what's going on in the production server!"
"Okay let's use this expensive API over the cheaper alternatives." Then weeks later "What have you guys done! Why do we have a ten grand bill from the API guys!"
*orders the QA around, becomes their errand boy, etc then lets go of the QA* "You're doing a poor job being QA."
I can cite moooore examples.10 -
Tried Asphalt 9 today.
You can’t actually steer. It’s a racing game. You can’t steer. Game steers for you.
I’m leaving this planet.17 -
I'm tired of those post and memes about wasting four days finding a missing semicolon (;).
Where do those guys program? Notepad?
Come on! Use the existing tools!8 -
COMPANIES DON'T NEED FUCKING BLOCKCHAIN YOU CAN JUST MANAGE IT YOURSELF. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF BLOCKCHAIN IS SO NO ONE HAS CONTROL AND IF YOU MAKE A BLOCK CHAIN THAT YOU CONTROL THEN WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.3
-
Our manager is not a developer and he has no idea of what we are doing most of the time, but he thinks that stand-up meetings are the coolest way to control us.
Sometimes coworkers joke about his lack of knowledge and today I think we reached the highest jerk level: «Yesterday I opened a new branch on the git repository and today I'll continue on this task».
I struggled to stay serious on my turn.8 -
I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress. I hate Wordpress.
Wordpress can take a big shit on itself and crawl into a deep dark hole far away from all that is good.
Who even uses Wordpress? Bloggers? Come on, let’s be honest, they’re using more intuitive sites like weebly, wix, and square space. So WHAT is Wordpress for? I’ll tell you, it’s just to FUCKING TORTURE PEOPLE.
So, being the “techy guy” of the family, a relative contacts me asking for some help with their website because they need to install an SSL certificate but they don’t know how to. I tell them I’d gladly do it because, sure, they’re family and how long can it possibly take to install a certificate? I’ve done it before!
Well, I get to work and log into the sluggish Wordpress dashboard and try to use a plugin that would issue a LetsEncrypt certificate because they are free and just as good as any other SSL. But one plugin after the next I keep getting errors about how my hosting wouldn’t allow it.
So I contact GoDaddy (don’t get me fucking started) and ask them about the issue. The guy tells me it’s “policy” to only be able to use GoDaddy’s certificates. How much do they cost? Oh, how about $100 a year?! Fuck you.
I figured out the only way to escape this hell was to ask them to open an economy Linux hosting account with cPanel on GoDaddy (the site was formerly hosted on a “Managed Wordpress” account which is just bullshit for not wanting to give you any control over your own goddamn content). So now I have to deal with migrating the site.
GoDaddy representative tells me that it should only take 20 minutes for me to do this (I’ve already spent way too much time on this but whatever) so I go forward with the new account. I decide I should migrate the site by exporting a backup and manually placing everything on the new server. Doesn’t it end up taking an entire hour to back up a 200MB site because GoDaddy throttled the processing speed?!
So, it’s another hour later and I’ve installed all the databases and carried over all the files. At this point, I’m really at the end of my rope and can’t wait to install the certificate and be done with this fuckery.
I install the certificate and finally get ready to be on my way, but then I see it. A warning. A warning from my browser telling me the site is only partially secure. It turns out the certificate was properly installed but whoever initially made the site HARDCODED ALL THE LINKS to images, websites, and style sheets to be http instead of https.
I’m gonna explode.
I swear, I’m gonna fucking explode.
After a total of 5 hours of work, I finally get the site secure by using search and replace on every fucking file.
Wordpress can go suck a big one. Actually, Wordpress can go suck the largest fuckin one in existence and choke on it.
TL;DR I agree to install an SSL certificate but end up with much more work than I bargained.37 -
Goddamit Apple fanboys... I saw 5 tents infront of the Apple Store in Zürich switzerland today, I MEAN WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? SPENDING AT LEAST 1000 CHF (around the Same in USD) FOR A FUCKING PHONE WHICH IS FROM APPLE!? WTF?! WHY? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS NONSENSE?! EXPLAIN THIS BULLFUCK TO ME!!15
-
Don't get me wrong, I like funcional programming, but this smug „This would neeever happen with FP“ bullshit really gets on my nerve and kind of turns me off the idea of ever wanting to work with FP programmers.
It's just another paradigm, it's still possible to write unmaintainable fuckugly crapcode with functional programming.
And it is still very possible to write beautiful, clean, well maintainable code with OOP. Get over yourselves and understand that it's a tool and not a religion, and a good dev should know when to pick which tool for which job without childish notions of intellectual superiority.5 -
This is how most comments in code are. Why are you telling me it's a coffee cup, I can fucking see it's a coffee cup, who owns it and why is it right here? Are you putting coffee in it or something else?
6 -
TMW you're asked to arrive one hour earlier at the office, so it can look "busy and innovative" to investors.
Some of us are just the toys very rich people play with.3 -
A brilliant article that talks on the state of internet
The Bullshit Web - https://pxlnv.com/blog/...
Tldr: as internet speed increased, page loading time did not decrease because the extra bandwidth is being stuffed with unnecessary big scripts and autoplaying videos.
AMP is nothing more than a business tactic by Google31 -
Congratulations on a great year of continuous stress and being successful. As a reward here's a 50 bucks increase to your salary.
Yeah... great.. fuck you!1 -
On stackoverflow *Peoople be like*
- How can I write a stream into a hole to extract light with magnetic energy -
and I'm trying to make my navigation bar in every screen with Java 😂
1 -
So, I'm in my final month at the current job. THAT job. So far this week, the company has 3 new clients and another 2 potential ones (there's a dev 'team' of myself and one other guy even more junior than myself).
Manager comes in and proudly tells us he has another two potential clients he wants us to pitch to. One with a Drupal business site and another with an Umbraco (C#) site. Neither of us know them. At all. I have never touched Drupal and I've barely looked at C#.
The C# company is huge. FTSE listed. The 'big-boys'. He honestly thinks this is going to end well...
Fuck non-technical managers. Seriously.
4 -
This is how y'all look when you bitch about programming languages in which your experience with it does not go beyond trivial hello world shit.
4 -
When you read a CV and it states "I am an entrepreneur and have run various startup websites". Experience "Junior Developer... Developer... CTO... Developer" WTF!
No. No. No. You have had personal projects/a blog which is not a startup and does not make you an entrepreneur.
CV goes to trash pile.10 -
!dev
This is the one thing about Spotify that annoys the living hell out of me (yes, I use spotify, if anyone knows a good/working self hosted alternative, let me know! I've tried quite a few including funkwhale but they all failed for me).
I'm a raw hardstyle/rawstyle lover and listen to the raw duo Malice a lot. Now, what would the problem be here? Sometimes, there are several artists in different scenes with the same name. This is completely fine.
Spotify, however, mixes up music of the raw duo Malice and the rock/metal band Malice. I keep getting release notifications/news regarding new music/events from Malice but 90 percent of the time this is about the rock/metal band and NOT the raw duo.
It's also very weird to suddenly hear rock music while listening to my daily mix; the wrong malice is mixed in once again.
Yesterday I got an email saying "Check out Malice's newest release on Spotify!"
*OH FUCK YEAH*
*opens Spotify release radar*
*YAAA....FUCK*
That's the other malice 😡
Is it so hard, Spotify? Entirely hiding the artist results in the right one being hidden as well for me 😞18 -
Peaceful protest #2:
Spotify desktop application is blocked due to "bandwidth issues", but web version works fine. Now I listen to music on YouTube, in 1080p, and I like to leave it on for the night...14 -
My boss has no idea what he is doing. Scary for a senior programmer, with 20 years of experience. The guy keeps calling methods statically, in a object oriented project. And can't understand why it won't work.4
-
According to Fast Company, Apple is more innovative than SpaceX or Tesla. Here’s top 20 according to them:
38 -
IPod didn't sync well on my Linux machines so decided to give windows - in a highly isolated environment disconnected from the Internet behind a firewall and sandbox - a shot with itunes.
- during the installation it wouldn't detect the fucking harddrive multiple times (genuine unlicensed copy) and after the 4-5th time it's random-fuckingly recognized out of fucking nowhere; I didn't change shit.
- crashes (blue screen and freezes) multiple times during the installation, multiple retries and suddenly it works(?!)
- it took about 10 minutes (!!!!!!!) to install 10+ drivers for an iPod and an external hdd:
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
Installing seagate drivers... Done
Installing Apple iPod drivers... Done
WHY INSTALL THOSE FUCKERS 5 FUCKING TIMES?!
- iTunes installation fails multiple times without error code (unknown error occured, restoring to original state...),just said fuck it and clicked the shortcut after the ***th fail and it works just like this, THANKS FOR NOTIFYING ME (NOT)!
- iTunes has to restore the entire ipod, this was done with iTunes in the store I bought it already, thanks for nothing.
-restore takes 30+ minutes?!
-syncs the iPod 3 times afterwards.
*clicks close button*
*are you sure you want to quit? Sync in progress*
*oh shit, cancels*
*itunes quits*
*?!?!?*
*tries to import media library*
*seagate hdd suddenly not detected*
I'm fucking tired of this bullshit, windows and iTunes can go die in a fucking corner after getting ass raped while their genitals are being scraped off layer by fucking layer and dipped into fucking acid.18 -
People at school believe using a library == Script Kiddie who can't code.
The icing on the cake is that they call themselves great programmers, and because they are 'superior' they don't use libraries and never will...
I smell bullshit
Oh, you have used the python math library... script kiddie.
You use jQuery, you little script kiddie?
(Because I have taken responsibility for my learning of languages and that is obviously not allowed)14 -
So this just happened... not to me, but at my friend's company.
The devs are being congratulated and spurred on for working late! I don't know about you, but this is not the kind of culture that should be encouraged.
15 -
my job offer reply rant from today >>>>
Hi,
thanks for the offer but reading from job description your solutions look obsolete, old and complete mess to me.
I am mainly focused on modern open source, flexible technology stack and this job would not be a challenge I am looking for.
Good luck
Kind regards
<<<< end of story1 -
I was looking through UX/UI designer jobs the other day, and then I checked the minimum requirements for it:
"React.js 7+ years of experience"
...
react came out 5 years ago5 -
Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!
Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.
Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.
They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.
And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.
For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.60 -
Hey guys and ladys. I've got another little rant about my teacher.
As some of you may know, i finished my final exams last week, so basically every relevant grade is done. Every teacher except of my special snowflake programming teacher spends the lessons casually talking with us (some even say we dont need to show up anymore).
Little backstory: Grades need to be done on 18th, June and i get my certificate on 22nd.
Back to my rant. Special Snowflake is different. He wants ANOTHER project. This is totally his idea and is nowhere mentioned in our curriculum. It has to be done until next friday, it has to be C# and we need a detailed documentation. This wouldn't be a problem normally - if I wouldn't be moving at the moment. Special Snowflake knows this but doesn't care.
Except from the criteria above he wants it to be:
- fancy
- loved by everyone. Literally we need to make something EVERYBODY wants in their daily life
- good looking
- everyone should want to pay money for this
How am I supposed to come up with an idea and program the shit out of it in less than 2 weeks, which i need to paint my new office and pack some more stuff.3 -
I hate it when I try and have a discussion with another dev and the conversation devolves into something akin to:
Me: I'm doing a thing in y language! How do I do z using y language?
Dev: WHY ARE YOU USING Y LANGUAGE?! Y LANGUAGE SUCKS AND IF YOU USE IT YOU'RE STUPID. ALL REAL DEVS USE X LANGUAGE.
I just wanted to know how to do something. Maybe I don't want to do it in another language. Maybe I have to use this language for work/study. Maybe I've just been given legacy spaghetti code and can't change the system easily.
Why do people feel the need to do this? And if they want to flame a language why can't they do it constructively?
Dev: If you are trying to do a thing in y language, why don't you try using x language? It offers an easier way for you to complete the task that you want, and it has other amazing features too!
Then you could actually respond with the appropriate response which would be thanks but no thanks because of this reason or thanks i'll check it out.
No need to be so elitist all the time.3 -
Is anyone getting any actual value out of them? As much as I dig agile some of the rituals plain just don’t work.
Fight me!
13 -
Windows 10 'App Store' Stole My Money.
So I work a 40 hour work week, sometimes more, same as anyone, on my feet, all day.
I get home, buy a little $3.99 app. Won't install. Check it again won't install. I check some guides. Follow all the standard commands, my purchase won't install. Use the tools. won't install.
Naturally I sent off what I'm good at, some hate filled invective
For fucks sake. I'm exhausted, have insomnia and want to wind down. And here microsoft is killing 32bit libraries to dispose of competing services like steam (also fuck gabe in his fat asshole) but I digress.
And they expect us to use their services? Spend our hard earned *fucking money*..and spend half an hour on their dumpster fire fucking 'walled garden' with nothing to fucking show for it?
No refund button. No chat option. Just a fucking feedback hub. Look at it some time. JUST LOOK AT IT. The motherfucking *feedback* hub *frozeup* in the process of my feedback. Microsoft is a sewer of negligent business practices and incompetence.
So I've chosen now to aim two heavy ion cannons at them and warned them too. Two twitter accounts, one with almost 10k followers and another with 15k.
Should have just offered a manual download button microsoft.
My money would have been better spent on alcohol. Cheap alcohol. It's not like it's a lot of money and I don't buy a lot online, but it's the principle. You're fucking *payment* process worked *just fucking fine*.
Anyway can anyone calculate the monetary damage a cumulative quarter million views over the course of a month will do to the reputation of the windows store in dollar amounts?
I'm betting it's going to be a lot fucking more than three fucking ninety nine.
Don't worry microsoft, I'm gonna take it out of your sweet fucking hide.34 -
So I'm sick. But my inner coder tells me that I could atleast do some basic design for my project.
So I go to sit down at my home computer and immediately feel my nose literally start dripping of snot as soon as I lean in to sit. So lile any normal man i take a tissue, wipe and blow my nose and it's now time to login on the computer.
*Wrong password*
Oh, I've must been to quick
*Try again*
*Wrong password*
Wtf?!
*Slowly type my password in*
*Wrong password*
*Fuck it, show password*
A space is missing.
Alright I'll just add it in then.
*Tap spacebar*
*Nothing*
*Tap harder*
*Nothing*
So I rip out the space bar and find a two little drops of snot that must have juuuust fallen between the cracks.
I tried to wipe it away and put the space bar back, but it's dead. :(5 -
*looks for jobs in system administration*
For our client in $location we're looking for a Network and System Administrator ... to manage our local IT infrastructure (so far so good) ... that's Microsoft-based.
Fuck that company.
*looks further*
Requirements: deployment and maintenance of servers, backups and storage, updates, yada yada.. fine with me.
yOU wiLl mAiNtAiN WanBLowS sUrVaR sYsTeMs
Fuck that company too.
Does anyone here in Belgium even work with fucking Linux servers?! Or should I really relocate to the Netherlands to get something decent?!!28 -
Ok, I am fucking finally pissed off...
My current company, I worked for last 1.5 years, for project management they use slack.
Every Monday we have meeting, and we go over every project and talk what must be done. Every project has it’s own channel with some stupid random code name which is impossible to remember because there is hundreds of other projects with similar name.
If there is something todo for dev he just gets mentioned in in channel.
No to-do’s, so basically u have no idea what u need to do, there’s no way to follow progress. Well, of course u can go over each channel and check if u need to do sth, but it takes fucking time. Also because of that u need keep your boss informed all the time about the progress. In others words it’s messy.
To make it worse, there’s usually a few different channels for the same project (1 for devs, 1 for designers, and others for something else like ux or videos).
I brought up this concern to boss many times, and every dev agreed. So for like a month we tried to use flow app, but still everyone used slack + designers told that they don’t like it. So after trial they said we are going to keep using slack. What the fuck?
Now I don’t actually mind their decision, but there one thing that I can’t stand about current method - slack is free, so all history and files gets deleted as time goes. I can’t even count how much times I needed to re-do some work just because slack deleted some files I had put there for later. Or lost some important information about project, that we needed to discuss over and over every month...
3 fucking more weeks left in this stupid company then I quit.9 -
Holy fucking dickballs, AWS cloud platform is one of the most UX unfriendly piles of fuckery I have witnessed.
It starts off okay and then you have to use it for many hours a day.
API gateway is assfucked backwards in its layout and how it displays. Why have things go horizontally across the screen rather than flow down so I can scroll. Also when I add a method to a resource why the god damn fuck do I need to select it from the smallest drop down imaginable when you have HALF MY POXY SCREEN TAKEN UP IN LITERAL WHITESPACE NEXT TO IT.
Now I get on to the dynamodb interface whoever designed must have been some form of insane cause it is as clunky as a donkey in clogs.
Finally, Lambda console, look I get it UX is not you strong point. but WHO IS THE SADISTIC FUCKOFF WHO WANTED TO HAVE TWO SCROLLABLE TEXT AREAS THAT CAN NOT BE FUCKING EXPANDED SO I CAN SEE MORE THAN FOUR LINES OF THE FUCKING OUTPUT.
*grumble* 12hrs a day of this bullshit *grumble*11 -
No, it's not damaged. Yes, it most definitely can be opened. No, I should not move it to the trash, because I want to open it.
Quit your bullshit Apple and stop telling me what I should do.
5 -
The company I work for has decided instead of building our own CMS (which was mostly done when they killed it), we should instead build a Chrome extension to extend Shopify's admin panel and implement all of the features it was missing. We warned them very thoroughly about how morally wrong this is at it's core and will require a lot of dev time to get this going and has risk of breaking if Shopify changes something in their admin panel. And yet they rely on this more and more every day.2
-
If you want to talk about politics or religion at work, then you can expect a lot of disinterested nods and “sure”s from me before I leave the room.
I don’t care about your invisible man in the sky, I am here to do work. In fact, your invisible man in the sky can choke on my dick for all I care.
I don’t want to talk about to political cult. I’m here to work. Keep your sheep mentality to yourself.
I’m here to build fucking software, not to take on your insecurities and character flaws.4 -
Disclaimer: I do not hate indian developers. There are always really good developers from india, its just my luck for not being to work with any of them.
Story:
There's this company that my current employer hired them to develop this web application together.
I managed to develop a module for the application, and I wrote some test cases for the module I was working on.
Each time I commit my work to our staging branch, I'll always run the test cases to make sure I didn't break any existing functionalities.
As they do not have permissions to commit directly to the staging branch, they a required to submit a PR for me to review, before merge them.
I've reminded them to run my test cases to make sure whatever their team has developed, doesn't break my modules. But i'm pretty sure, they never did.
Monkeys: hey, we have submitted multiple PRs for to fix some issues, can you merge them?
Me: did you run my test cases to make sure your changes didn't break anything? (You just have to run `phpunit` on the root project directory)
Monkeys: nope.
Me: can you guys run them? Make sure they all passing.
Monkeys: *ran command*
Monkeys: we ran the test cases, and there are some errors.
Me: then fix them.
Monkeys: but they are your work, and we do not wish to make any changes to your work.
Me: ಠ_ಠ
Fuck this shit. So they broke stuff that I coded, but I have to fix the stuff?
22 -
My company is looking for a new React FE.
Just got a response to the add...
"I have 10 years experience with react and styled components."9 -
rant.GetType() == typeof(long)
I have voiced my unhappiness to the powers that be regarding having to sit in traffic for over an hour to get to work and an hour to get back home, in the hopes that some sort of resolution and compromise can be reached.
The response basically was, "We've never had anyone work from home before and this is very new to us, so we wouldn't know where to start and how to manage this."
Firstly, from what I've heard along the grapevine, someone has worked from home before. In fact, it was a developer... wouldn't you fucking know!
Secondly, you're the manager... FUCKING MANAGE! Yes this is perhaps "new" territory for the company, but it's certainly nothing new to the world. Or maybe I'm wrong?
How's about, rather than fucking "ummm-ing" and "ahhh-ing" about the working from home being a good idea or not, perhaps try saying, "You know what, let's try something for the next 3 months and see how it goes. We sit down and hash out when and how we are going to communicate regarding the work that needs to be done, and when you will need to come in for meetings and the like." If it doesn't work after 2 weeks, oh well... we tried. And if we're still going strong after month 4, I think we have a winner!
Perhaps it's a generational thing, seeing as management are Baby Boomers and I'm a Millennial? Then again, I could be wrong.
The point is that I see a potential solution to my problem that may actually work and benefit both parties, but they're either to fucking set in their old ass ways and stubborn to allow this. Or perhaps it's a thing of "if we do this for you, we have to do it for everyone", which they don't want to do.
But more importantly, they don't seem to get the whole notion of "a happy employee is a productive employee".
6 -
What's the most bullshit marketing term you've heard being used? Something that sounds flashy for a non tech client, but makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I just heard "harnessing hyperconnectivity". The fucks that?3 -
Backstory, I’m working as a vendor assigned to a certain institution,
The client recently had some changes to its organizational structure, not sure what, but a lot of things have changed, a lot of rules have changed, more bureaucracy, politics, etc,
Previously there’s this IT division that stands above the rest, which somewhat not restricted to corporate bullshit and such, due to the changes, they got dissolved to the “communities”, that’s how they called their “division”,
Back when the IT division reigned, all IT staffs within it were treated equally, there was no discrimination, full time employee, vendors, interns, all get the same benefit and privilege,
...until fire nation attacked,
Even though it had dissolved, the core members of the old IT division still held their tradition, weekly meetups and regular sharing sessions, during the last sharing session, there was an initiative to conduct an advanced React Native training, which was designated for the core members,
Seeing the opportunity, one of the core member added the idea of holding a basic RN training, filter the candidates, and invite more person to the advanced one, one of the “community” head agreed, so it happened, the RN basic training was conducted, most of the core members are the trainers including myself,
It was not realized until later, that most of the people that joined the basic training sessions were serving under the “community” head, needless to say, being “forced” into it, most of them did a terrible job at attending the training, half of them didn’t even pass due to neglecting attendance, test and final projects,
One of the vendor was the top of the class during the basic training, and everyone had in confidence that he will be joining the advanced session with us,
...until fire nation attacked the second time,
Apparently, due to “budget limitation”, the number of seat was “limited”, and after an “in depth discussion”, the candidates are subjects to several new prioritization rules, the priority goes like this,
- Full Time Employee
- must be a Software Developer
- not currently in resignation process
- score from the basic training
Needless to say, my colleague and I were botched from the list, the two that replaced us were two of the atendees of basic training that didn’t even passed it,
To our disappointment, somehow those two rejected their perticipation, thus the community lead reopened the seat if anyone would take it, feeling disgusted, I didn’t even thought of asking, so I ignored the offer,
Then my vendor colleague asked if he could join, which was replied by the community head, “well if you want to be a full time employee, I still have a slot for it”, not sure how the arrangement goes, but it seems he got the seat,
Today, on a warm sunday afternoon, I suddenly gor a text from one of the other community lead, asking me if I want to join the training, there’s still 1 slot left, well, since he offered directly to me, I said that I would be interested to join,
Until he said, “ok then since the training is under the budgeting by {some hr division name}, it’s exclusive for full time employees only, while we’re at it, do you want to be processed into a full time employee here?
Without further ado, I rejected both the offer, the training and being full time employee, straight up “thank you for the offer, but no thanks, if it’s restricted to full time employees only, so be it, I shall skip this one”
And he still persisted, asking me questions like “why not ?”, “why you don’t want to be a full timer here ?”, “do you have some kind of arrangement with your current company ?”
To which I simply answered, “I’m currently happy where I stand and happy working as a vendor”, then he left it there,
I’d rather quit instead of becoming a member of my client’s ranks, which is hopefully soon,
1 -
Just updated my LinkedIn summary, included "Design Thinking", "bleeding edge technologies" and "innovation-driven"...
What other phrases can you think of that only exist to play Buzzword-Bullshit-Bingo? :D5 -
Saw a rant against "startup idea guys" and it got me thinking. A few years ago, I knew a guy. Business major, terrible at everything, but his daddy is getting him a job at a big 4 accounting firm with referrals from his frat brothers. I collect vintage watches (gotta have a hobby that isn't Netflix and anxiety,) and I figured I should make a small website, display my stuff and write a bit. He gets on board, talking about how it's gonna be the next big thing. It's not, because the market is very saturated, I mainly sell on forums and tbh just wanted to write and dick around on Wordpress. I buy our entire inventory, he blows the cash he was fronting on booze, says I "lack networking capabilities," and quits. His LinkedIn lists him as the former CEO of MY company which wasn't even incorporated enough for me to get it a business PayPal, and he is now working on a tech startup that... Wait for it... Is a social network and online marketplace for Ivy League students. I shit you not. He told me it's the "first of its kind." I signed up for lulz, and the verification email directed me to his backend directory with client logins and details in plain text 😂😂😂😂2
-
Non-coder, atechnical friend comes up with an app idea after seeing some existing app. Calls me, I tell them there are already a few other apps doing the same thing on the market.
Their answer: "Yeah, but just think about it. If we made this app, just imagine the possibilities that could branch out from that!"
Yeah, sure, like I'm going to do all the actual work while you speak marketese.6 -
Fucking IT and their self signed corporate proxy SSL bullshit getting in the way of anything that needs to verify SSL requests,
Fuck you for making my day a slow and miserable day and having to resort to forcing rest apis and SDKs to work over HTTP instead, all in the name of “Security”.2 -
Recruiter reached out. Client wanted someone with my exact job title, but with advanced Excel skills.
That’s exactly me. Excel is my secret weapon.
I tailor my CV, explain in a covering email about my Excel proficiency.
I’m not selected for interview.
Someone fucked up and it certainly wasn’t me.1 -
So a coworker made a backup script that asynchronously copies the backup to the remote backup space and then deletes the backup:
scp backup.tgz remote: &
rm backup.tgz
Spot the bullshit.2 -
*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*
I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*
One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"
*Clicks the mic/listen button*
"Turn on High contrast"
Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"
Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!6 -
I'm really trying to give js a chance. I really wanna get this front end done. But this is just Bullshit.
26 -
If I uncheck your, by default checked, checkbox to recieve your marketing bullshit emails on your website.
Don't fucking send me an additional email asking me to subscribe.
Fucking cunts!2 -
Google has a password reset procedure so intense, that even if I can sign into my recovery account and give them the code from there, use 2 factor auth and give them the code from there, tell them my recovery phone(s) number(s), give them my mother's father's mother's late cousin twice removed daughter's maiden name, and whatever other security measures were set in place, I can't get a fucking password reset. Thanks Google, fuck you.3
-
Why is it so hard to just build machines that work without all this ideological bullshit? Code doesn't care if politics==true. The world is scary enough without you assholes making modern life a data minefield for even the most educated experts, and taking advantage of the ignorance of everyone else. Fuck you.
I just wanna <look at web pages> without having to consider, counteract, or silently assist some fucking regime. Why is EVERYTHING this way? Everything is a back door or a data mine or a political statement? This isn't a fucking art piece! It's not your espionage tool, fucking codes in invisible ink and tiny cameras and shit everywhere! It's a <web browser>, and if it does ANYTHING besides <browse the web> that I didn't explicitly tell it to do, you better better not be the one who made it. Because if you did, you are what's wrong with the world.7 -
Has anyone ever ordered off RedBubble? Are they even a legitimate company?
Rant...
20 days ago I ordered a package from redbubble.com
They shipped the package, without an apartment number. So the delivery was refused and it was sent back to them.
I reach out to support and they ask me to send them a complete mailing address and my order number.
I send them my exact mailing address and the order number as they requested. They inform me that the package is being sent out again ASAP.
This morning I see that the new package has shipped, WITH NO FUCKING APARTMENT NUMBER.
I email them to let them know this. They inform me that since it has my zip code it will be fine (which is a ridiculously stupid this to say).
So I actually call the post service and ask them if the address will work, they let me know that of course, it will not get to me if there is no apartment. Duh!
So, I email RedBubble support again to let them know this.
I expect some sort of answer as to why this is happening. But the following happens.
They send me a refund.
Let's be clear, I did not as for a refund. I asked for the order I made to be shipped to me.
So it seems that putting an apartment number on a shipping address is completely impossible for this very unprofessional company.
After 2 weeks of bullshit, I will be receiving nothing at all from these shady cunts.
Fuck RedBubble it seems.10 -
Fuck. I'm fucking alive. The past month or so has been hectic. I've mainly been working, sleeping, or at school (not like I've showed up much lately anyways, maybe 12 days or so since the middle of February).
!dev
I'm fucking tired.
Bought an FX 8350 with the Wraith cooler for my desktop, got it for $70 when normally it's about $140 or so. Gonna replace the PSU and case when I get paid on Saturday, cause I don't have to pay anything with this check, so it's all to myself. Cut myself putting a heatsink back on my motherboard, still hurts 3 days later.
My "best friend" is still not talking to me. But she's been talking ABOUT me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I'm done with the whole situation with her. It's just her crying over every little thing.
My rants tend to be about my personal life, and this one is no exception. I just have a lot of shit going on and I need to get it out sometimes.2 -
Ok people. If you see a forum with an issue you're having, for the love of fuck, don't post "Omg I'm having that same issue!" Quite frankly, I don't give two shits if you have this issue or not. It's annoying as fuck to have to read through 3 pages of that bullshit to get to the answer for the problem.7
-
So these motherfuckers... they have stored the queries to generate the reports... fucking guess where. Just guess.
They stored the queries AS FUCKING STRING DATA IN THE TABLE. And you know how they get the parameters? A FUCKING JOIN WHERE THEY HAVE STORED THE PARAMS AS DATA IN ANOTHER TABLE.
So you query set the params to query to get the query to get that is joined with a query to get the reports.
If God is a programmer after all y’all are fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked4 -
Just had someone try to tell me that Windows programs are more stable in WINE than in Windows. Haha no.6
-
Working on a side gig - an online clothing store - just finished implementing the cart logic, need to set up both PayPal and mobile money payments plus make sure the whole UI is responsive - fucking images! This is all needed by tomorrow... I haven't slept since Monday, just getting back home from a long day at work and did I mention that the client is also expecting to see a custom blog that I haven't even begun working on...
Fuck12 -
When you've been studying development for 5 years and a teacher explain to the class what a curly bracket is and where to find it on the keyboard...2
-
My wife is sick, my infant daughter is teething, and my toddler son won't stop begging for fruit snacks. I haven't slept more than 4 hours in the last 48 hours.
And now, I have to work on my weekend, since our division refuses to say "No, that wasn't in the scope of work" to another business unit and put them in their place. They're lucky they're getting the feature they requested 6 weeks from launch _at all_, let alone with the extras that they requested 4 weeks from launch. Now it's on my shoulders to fix this bullshit because they won't pony up extra budget to pay the external dev shop we used (who failed to implement said features in a timely fashion) to fix this shit.
I really need to get my business shit together and start consulting on my terms. Working for other people can suck a fuck.4 -
Shit recruiters say:
"We need solution experts, not language experts, because a language is just a tool."
Well then, good luck with your spaghetti code solution.3 -
!dev
Have any of you heard that Melinda gates does not want to invest in "White guys with hoodies?"
That mogul said that she won't invest in white startups, because "she wants to invest in venture firms that focus on women and minorities — while deriding the venture capital (VC) industry for its lack of diversity." Are you actually pissing me here? I thought that she was a businesswoman! I am pretty sure that, business doesn't work like that. Shouldn't you invest in startups that have good ideas? Ideas that will change a technology, or introduce some new amazing invention, or at least give some kind of profit?
I think that this is going too far. I am afraid that, by the time I enter and graduate college, that most companies will be thinking like that. This is honestly scary. So, what she's telling me, is that if there's a team of white men, who have a great idea, but there's also a team of colored women who have a worse idea, that she will invest in them?! Like what the actual hell? This is bloody racism!
If companies start hiring and promoting people, based on their gender or skin color, doesn't that make them sexist and/or racist? Why do they argue that you "cannot be sexist or racist against white people/men." I am afraid that, if America keeps going in this direction, white men will turn into what black men experienced in the 1960s.
the article: goo.gl/vhv36K65 -
That moment the sales guys ask if a humongous new feature is doable. And doesn't wait for your answer before adding: "Well so you know, I'll already promised it to the client for last week"2
-
I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT2
-
Working with Android DatePicker is such a pain in the ass.
You want to have your DatePicker appearing as a SpinnerView? Well, easy!
If you're under API 21, you can use the following method 'setSpinnerViewShown()'. If you're between API 21 and API 23 you need to add some style configuration. And if you're above of API 23 you can't use both of the methods above, you need to create a custom xml with the attribute "datePickerMode" (no, datePickerMode can't be set programmatically, it would be too easy to guess).
If you want to add a listener to it, you think it might be a method called 'setDateChangeListener' or something like this? Well no! You must use the 'init(year, month, day, Listener)' method, logic!
If you think you're finished with this bullshit, of course not. Their is a known bug on API 21 that you must take into account (but this bug isn't fixed, no, it's just documented somewhere on google forums).
I don't know the team that designed the DatePicker for Android, but it might a team of champanzee that randomly changed their minds to the phases of the moon!3 -
I'm in 3rd year of my CS degree....
Fucking Indian Education System
I'm having a subject css(cryptography & system security)... The bitch who teaches us doesn't know shit.... She just picks random words from the ppt & blabber random bullshit...
Last week we had our unit tests...and the question was explain Working of deffie-helman. Just because I didn't use the names Alice & Bob in the example she didn't gave me marks....I mean wtf..that was just an example mentioned in the slides.....
I bet it wasn't required at all...
I knew most of the things they teach here..
These mofo professors have just a CS degree and they are here to teach the same course....10 -
Yet another bullshit app to cure your problems that have taken place by not talking to people. No app can give you the comfort equal to talking to a person that cares about you can give. Go talk to some real people ffs.
3 -
So I found this consulting job a while ago thinking that some extra cash while studying would be nice to have.
I meet with the guy, a researcher trying to start a business up, good for him I think, maybe we'll hit it off, continue working, why not? Except he has no clue how to write working code, all he ever did was writing matlab scripts he says, thats why he hired me he says.
Okay, fine, you do your job I do mine.
He hands me the contract, its about comparing two libraries, finding out which one is better suited for his job, cool, plots and graphs everywhere.
Except this is an unpaid job. YOU WHAT?! It's a test job. FINE. At least it'll look good on my resume.
We talk about the paid part where I'm supposed to scale the two libraries, looks good, as expected from an ML engineering perspective. It comes to payment. The dude has no idea how taxes work, says he has a set amount to pay and not a penny more. I explain with examples how taxes are paid, how you get reimbursed for them and so on. Won't budge. Screws me over.
Opens the door for other jobs I think, he'll learn next time I think and take the job.
Fast forward a month, 90% of the job done, he adds a third thing to compare. Gives a github link to a repo with 2 authors, last commit a year ago. There are links to a 404, claiming compiled jars. Fuck.
Not my first rodeo, git clone that shit, make compile, the works. The thing uses libs that ain't in no repo, that would be too easy. Run, error, find lib, remake all the things, rinse repeat.
The scripts they got have hardcoded paths and filenames for 2 year old binaries, remake that shit.
It works, at least I get a prompt now. Try the example files they got, no luck, some missing unlinked binary somewhere, but not a name mentioned. Cross reference the shit outta the libs mentioned on readme, find the missing shit, down it.
Available versions are too new, THE MOLDING NUTCRACKER uses some bug in an old version of the lib.
I give up. Fuck this. This ain't worth the money OR time. Wanker... -
This fucking teacher was my "Web Design" teacher in high school.
Okay, yes, I acknowledge that this is an entry level course, but does that honestly mean that we need to teach the same source taught to students in the 90s? You know, the one where all layouts are table/iframe-based?
I understand that I completely disregarded your set criteria for grading by using CSS to create my website rather than tables and I frames, however I believe that it's fairly logical to conclude that anyone using CSS has a sufficient comprehension of HTML to be able to pass your stupid assignments. So why must time be wasted with coding poorly designed sites? -
I just can't... I don't wanna be here anymore... 😭
So a website is due today. Then I just saw the image file of the design they want for the homepage... Today. I don't know when my boss' wife uploaded it on our ERP system, but I was never informed about it. I only saw it when I checked today. No fucking way I'm gonna finish that design today.
FUCK THIS PLAAAAACCEEEE!!!2 -
First rant ever... But like, I just have to... So I'm at my internship and everythings going good, I'm working on the UI portion for the Android portion of the cross platform Xamarin app, and im just frolicking through my code, making things pretty and usable like a good xaml cow, and then it hits me... The Apple portion...
Now, I have a great computer, love it to death, but it's not an Apple laptop. Which I didn't realize I'd need to have in order to develop a Xamarin app for iOS, but I didn't know that, so as I go up to innocently check off another portion of my daily coding routine, and then I see it. The "please connect your Apple computer to continue". Im here like "...", And suddenly my supervisor comes over and sees my screen blank with my utter look of confusion and he asks why the hell I wasn't working, to which I respond that Xamarin won't let me work with iOS, to which he replies "bullshit, just use the other side of your computer" I'm confused for a second and realize he means my Linux install. So I tell my supervisor politely that that side of my computer isn't an Apple computer and doesn't have an actual licence. This annoys him since he's kind of used to things going his way, so he kind of just angrily/annoyedly says to "get it working" before I clock out... So essentially, I really hate apple for making me have to own an Apple computer to develop for Apple, which I don't really like, since it's not the best computer for me and I'd much rather have a nice bulkier computer that can handle gaming, but yeah, ugh, I'm screwed b/c I don't own an Apple computer... DevRant save me from the cash sucking sadness that is Apple... ;-;
TL;DR: I kinda hate apple for forcing it's devs to own an overpriced piece of hardware to develop their software... And now my supervisor is expecting me to make magic happen by the end of my shift... Which is in 4 hours... Fml11 -
Okay. For fuck sakes, writing complex code that's meant to handle "everything" and is "super generic" can be a fuck up. Like just keep shit simple. THAT is the show of great and impressive work. Over engineering is not it. Yes your shit works and yes your shit is fancy but was it needed? How long did it even take you for this over kill? How long will it take the next person to understand or not.
Someone now has to sit and run through your shit to get what you were doing. Instead of just being able to look and once and have it all figured out.
Keep things simple.
Lost 2 hours on bullshit 🤬3 -
What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?
6 -
!dev
Based on a very reliable source (I know a guy) that told me that I'm "tentatively" set to be deployed on the new project just TWO days after the release date of the current one,
Let's say my last day is set on Saturday, which will include death marches (and probably even sleeping at the office) the following week, and I'm supposed to move on to the new project on Monday, 2 days after, which leaves me only 1 day to recuperate,
So much for the motto of "{company-name}life", work life balance my ass, but well, I still have some mandatory leave days saved up (which according to the policy, are to be used before entering a new project), hopefully that'll help me avoid/prolong the "1 day recuperation treatment",
It's probably not the "company's" fault per se, because the managers already got a lot of infamy for pulling this kind of shit all the time, besides, I did agree for another client site project, just didn't expect for this kind of behavior, -
“hi all, we are cancelling the last two releases this year due to instability that we can’t fix by the cut off. If the server returns an error, every react-native built component crashes and stops working until a relaunch”
7 -
My december salary is delayed for a year (i’ll get paid around 2 or 3 january).
This broke af fireworks pic is how my new year looks like.
P.S Pic is stolen from facebook
4 -
Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.6 -
Yeah so seems like huge companies are literally just throwing tech buzzwords like "blockchain" and "cloud" and "big data" for marketing purposes.This annoys me.3
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...sincerely?
FUCK YOUR PASSWORDS
FUCK YOUR PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS.
FUCK YOU thinking you are the most important site in the universe so of course everyone will remember their password mangled beyond the original intention/recognition by your idiotic requirements!
I want to have an insecure password? MY PROBLEM.
I want to have the same password everywhere so I don't have to go through the idiotic "forgot my password" dance each time I try to login into your page? MY PROBLEM!
You're not the most important site in the universe.
I'm getting seriously fed up with this idea in general.
WHAT THE FUCK. Why did nobody come up with nothing better yet?
And the password storages and autocompletions don't count, that's a plaster on top of idiotic paradigm, nothing else.
...how is there nothing more sensible, still, after 18+ years?5 -
Am I the only one who hates all of this fucking UEFI bullshit, my hate for Microsoft had decreased, but now I fucking hate it now!
FUCK YOU FUCKING MICROSOFT AND YOUR STUPID SHITTY OS AT LEAST ALLOW ME TO RUN ANOTHER FUCKING OPERATING SYSTEM11 -
Why does google do this? It's supposed to be a map, not a fucking travel guide, I want to see the motherfucking map that it so ironically calls itself
Swallow a Collins road atlas whole you fucking impostor.
9 -
Password Rules are bullshit. I am the one to decide what password is safe for me. If even I can't remember my password it's not fucking safe. Morons.
1 -
Just tried to install the english language pack for Visual Studio 2015 Enterprise (the thousands of bucks edition). Well... the setup displayed "DEU" for german and later tried to switch to "EN" resulting in "ENU". First WTF moment.
But what really killed me was the error message... please restart the PC BEFORE the installation? Just wow.
9 -
Fuck you JavaScript with your blocks within blocks within blocks, your promises and callbacks, your million of libraries that are doublons or not finished. Fuck you with your assigning variable before functions, fuck you!11
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When your PM or boss says they used to program back in the day in FORTRAN and haven't done shit since.
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That absolutely glorious fucking moment when you have to pay >1'000 bucks a semester and STILL have to shell out 15 goddamn bucks to print out a motherfucking script. That's like 2 beers!
9 -
Today, in the course of my job, I said...
FFS. I HATE WINDOWS.
It has begun.
Took me five minutes to ssh into the Linux EC2 and get the Jenkins agent installed, configured, and running. Half a fucking hour for Windows Server 2012.
1) Can't ssh to it, so I connect via AWS console... Which means I have to install MS Remote Desktop. WHATEVER. FINE. It's not like ssh is quick and easy or anything.
2) Can't just use the command line, run the .jar &, cntl-z, and bg then log off. Noooo. I have to install the unpacked binaries as a fucking SERVICE. FINE. WHATEVER.
I'm so glad we have a Windows guy that does most of this shit. I can't stand it.1 -
Our prof at university told us at the beginning of the semester, that .NET is the most used framework for web based systems and it would take a big part in this semester. He brought up a statistic, in which .NET filled around 43 %, and wasnt even the most populated one. Nobody seemed to be impressed, that the first information he provided to us, was obviously wrong but okay.. After that I just looked up the statistic and filtered the values for my own country, in which Im "probably" about to work later on. The percentage for .NET in my country was 4 %. I told my classmates, that this guy is talking complete bullshit. Still nobody cared. During semester we learned stuff, that was btw factually wrong. In the end, we didnt even had one lecture about .NET. Now my classmates finally care and are flaming all day about this guy. Didnt expect that... (Irony off)
There is one more story of this ridculous prof that will follow soon :D5 -
Anybody can rant about stuff and get angry - that's easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
- Aristotele -
I can't stand this JS is sooo fast bullshit anymore. You just suck at coding if your code with the most other languages is significantly slower.11
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People complaining about other people bragging about nonexistent dev or hacker skills.
Sorry, but all I can picture is a kid with low self esteem being a braggart to another kid.
Who actually gives a flying fuck?1 -
So I just spent probably 40 minutes wondering why rEFInd wouldn't fucking boot. Config? Nope. Boot partition being stupid? Nope.
Turned out I forgot to copy the fucking ext4 driver over to the ESP.
I'm fucking tired guys.2 -
Sick and fucking tired of this bullshit.
Previously worked with Laravel, used 'gulp watch' to watch for changes in assets and now they changed things for the better of Laravel Mix as a fucking wrapper for webpack. Now I have to do shit load more stuff to get gulp working, 'cause otherwise my 'npm run watch' shits itself every fucking time I run that shit, doesn't matter what fix is aplied. Battling that bullshit for 3 days now and shit's not working anyhow. Stupid fucking bullshit. Sorry, had to let it out from myself.10 -
Now this has take my faith away from any email I receive... Fuck that shit, Suggest me ideas to reverse spam them.
9 -
More like a colleague more than a client, but it doesn't really matter.. They're the same shit,aren't they?
Dude, when you ask for something on Sunday, and spend the day plus Monday and Tuesday not returning my calls or emails... You can go fuck yourself with a huge unicorn's dick. I already moved on to more important shit to do and now you're going to wait until I'm fucking done.
Fucking assholes.2 -
What the fuck this fucking shit of an app supposedly went through five rounds of QA and I broke it in 5 minutes? Holy fucking shit How this is the main point of your job. You shitty shits take forever getting this PR to me and now it’s buggier than a haunted house on Halloween?
After this is after wanting to cuss Apple for making me update the os then then xcode then iTunes just to recognize the goddamn development phone. It’s an app built off Cordova it works for like 14 versions of iOS just run the bugger you over priced aluminum chassis dildo riding fruit Fuckers.
Now back to the goddamn cluster fuck I just got delivered. What the goddamn fuck. This level of bullshittery I have not seen before. And apparently Cordova is only partly de-sandboxed? I don’t know for sure because I don’t have time to test it because I’m running the entire technological stack of this company on a junior dev salary!
When you tell me it goes though all this QA and you spend 2 weeks on just QA tickets for fucks sake the first operation I do, the most common fucking operation on the app, the shit we have been building around all this fucking time, should not fucking error out. For fucks sake at least try to get the main fucking thing working. I recognize you did a lot of work and implemented a number of features but what the fuck good are they if I can’t even run them for one fucking time. -
Fucking your fucking module allocates fucking memory fucking deallocate the fucking memory in your fucking module.
Don't fucking bullshit me!11 -
I'm facing a conundrum. I saw a job posting for <Company A> weeks ago, but wasn't really interested and moved on.
Got in touch with a standalone recruitment company today who had an exciting job offer. The recruiter refused to tell me the name of the company until he spoke to me as they directed him to not disclose the name of the company or any details until he has verified the candidate is genuine. To my absolute shock and disbelief it was <Company A>!!!!
So heres the conundrum. External recruiters don't lie, why would they? Clearly this company MUST keep their hiring top secret, and some poor employee didn't get the memo before posting that job publicly. Should I report the <Company A> employee?
I don't want to report them and get them in trouble, but feel I must in order to help the company fix this leak ... before its too late ... and people find out the are hiring!
Thoughts?6 -
That moment when you just quit your successful paying job just to have more time to study and try to pass the fucking piece of trash math exam.
Fuck my asshole, fuck my life and fuck that motherfucking college degree. If I don't pass, I will eventually kill my self or quit college.
Jeez, I wonder what was in my head when I enrolled in college, oh wait.. Parents, society brainwashed me to think I need top tier education to be a successful computer programmer engineer.
Fuck you society, fuck my brain, fuck everything.9 -
I've written a rant that was too long to devRant, so I made it into a medium article instead. You can read it here:
https://medium.com/bambuu/...
In short, it's about Apple's weird legal practices when it comes to Apple Developer accounts.
tl;dr
- Apple has "obvious" security reasons that requires a copy of a photo id, and you aren't allowed to conceal sensitive information
- Apple's favorite form of communication is fax and snail mail
- Apple needs multiple signatures and court documents to just change your account name. -
My boss drives me crazy. He hired me for working on his SDK which is game related. So I am responsible for basically everything, including an ingame UI (menu etc.) and to predict the future path of a game object (unit, minion, ..) when a certain spell is casted on it. For that task I divided the prediction into firstly getting the predicted path of the unit without a spell being casted and then a class that would cast the spell on that path and estimate the units reaction to that cast. Simplified, but that way you get a pretty okayish result. Now he thinks that is too complicated. "Can we not put everything into one class, if someone wants to replace the prediction he needs to read documentation for hours". WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT, THAT IT'S GONNA BE SOME ONE CLASS 3K LINES MAGIC??
Same for the GUI. We only have DirectX and don't want to use a framework. Guess what, it's more than one class if you want to seperate view, model, controller or whatever fucking "design pattern" thing you use.
And then Git... he seriously said let's not use branches till release, I feel like they slow down things.. before I was there they did every operation on master.
And if it was just that..
/rant
I put much work into this, time to leave?1 -
Anyone who willingly uses Python 2 and doesn't try to convert it to Python 3 will be shot on site.3
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I was just browsing some projects to bid on and I couldn't believe my fucking eyes.
"I need website - Wix"
I just can't believe it, can we sink any lower as a species?!5 -
When you work better than the client, and the client describes you like a toddler that has never use a pc in his life, and your company believes him and fires you.
PS: fuck INDRA and may the project manger have his penis cut in a million of pieces
>:(6 -
Fucking corporate bullshit, I was coding (mostly creating bugs and pulling my hair off) all night on my free time (I'm on night shifts I keep the schedule when I have my days off) and at the moment I was making huge progress on my project, I gotta go to sleep to go back to work 4h later to follow a fucking 2h training on team efficiency and cohesion, in other words, how to waste 2h in a useless meeting and not getting it back + interrupting the only night I was in the zone, I'm so tired of this....2
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Things that make you regret you are not a normal grunt in any other fucking job outside of software development...
Few years back we had the biggest customer ever close to signing contact with us (b2b). They had a CRM they wanted to connect to our CRM because their users didn't want to use IE with ActiveX anymore, the old software was a fucking RDP over IE to a server behind a VPN.
Boss brags how we can implement every API on Earth with our team and gets the contract signed. Technically not a lie but we agreed on a company meeting a few month prior to not implement each API for every customer but expose one ourselves because we had enough big customers on that one software to not want 100+ unique API connectors in our code.
So we apparently agreed to not only build our side of the API but also pay 2/3 of the bill of the other company for implement their shitty excuse of an API...
Fast forward a few month, talking to the other companies dev daily to get their API up and running, our part is long done. Finally get things set up and data flows... suddenly shit hits the fan. That shitty excuse of CRM can't expose the created and modified timestamps to the API. Webhooks never got implement and now we have no way of knowing which data changed because their side is completely passive.
Fast forward to a few weeks back. Still no solution. Shit is running, barely. Data inconsistency is low because everyone knows they should never change things in the old CRM because the changes might not be synced. (Only one indictor is a custom modified date on the main customer data that only updates if the main data was changed but there are 20+ different possible subsets. Can't get changes in subsets detected, like ever)
One fucking grunt updated 129 customer-profiles in the old CRM. Nothing was synced.
They still use the old shit for billing.
Their it-crowd-guy calls me up:
"Sorry but we need to generate the bills tomorrow and there seems to be some kind of desynchronization between the databases"
No shit? Someone did exactly what we told you not to do and now that one thing we warned you about happened but now it's our fault? Use the fucking force sync button we built for that purpose and that purpose alone. It will only take 7 days because that fucking SOAP API is slow as fuck and you have millions of datasets to sync...
Fml I might just try and jump out the window, sounds like a lot of fun in days like this.
tl;dr never implant against dynamics ax aif soap API if you want to keep some basic level of sanity2 -
What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.4 -
Hate my fucking ‘Logic’ class. Teaching us if, or, and, etc statements and when something is true or false so far. Fair enough, part of logic. But fucking 6 classes on the same topic, isn’t helpful. Especially since it feels like the same shit I learnt myself when I was 13 and a junior in High School.
People are all surprised at it, even the Computer Science majors. This shouldn’t be a shock to you on how these statements work if you’ve coded for a few minutes in the University. You should’ve learnt it in your first programming class.
Ugh, just how I feel about this class. Have to take it to get my degree, otherwise I would’ve dropped it by now >.> Waste of time and money for me.12 -
I hate corporate doublespeak.
A CTO was fired after 2 years at the position because he insisted on some projects that didn't stick and were not profitable for the company. The word spread throughout the corridors that he was destroyed by the CEO in a board meeting, and soon after he left. The HR sent an e-mail right away for the entire IT sector THANKING him by "the invaluable effort in bringing in important projects to the company that raised the tecnology to the next level".
Oh, come on.3 -
The feeling when you're in the zone for some important tasks and your coworkers just come and seat besides your table, start bullshitting each other with their flights delay stories. I wish there is a dismiss button for this kind of occasions.2
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Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
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Fucking asynchronous code can be very annoying sometimes. Had to struggle the whole day yesterday to get it work properly so I fetch all the results from a function which does many asynchronous calls.
Then I realized that I just need two more counter variables to increase and later decreases to detect when all of them finished.
That shit..1 -
In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
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Tomorrow, my team will receive TV reporters for an economy magazine.
We'll have to fake a meeting and the Marketing Officer insisted that everyone has to be present.
I wanted to do teleworking on that day because of the huge strike of the public transports.
Guess who will wake up at 5:45 tomorrow morning?3 -
Me: "I wanna mod Ikemen so it can have tag presets, a replay recording manager, a player card for online games, a gallery,..."
Windows: takes a whole day to update
Me: "I wanna mod Ikemen so it runs on Ubuntu" -
I was supposed to have an interview for a software developer internship at a bank today, but they rescheduled last minute due to a "time conflict". This was to be my first summer internship interview. As if they didn't put me under enough stress already... Now I find out all my stress all week long was for naught.
God fucking dammit.3 -
Customer: "There are only 'X' values in COLUMN_D, your - report - import is wrong!"
Me: select count(*) from table_a where column_d is not in ('X') -> returns more than a thousand... Yeah please only scroll within a couple hundreds of records in your shitty sql client gui without making queries. Fuckhead. -
Oh man. When I look for a job after I'm done with school, I need to watch out for those "pay-per-line" bullshit contracts. More lines? Everyone can do that, but it will cause inefficiency just for the money. I could make a fucking Python Hello World program have 100 needed lines if I wanted to, but why would I? More lines = more typing ≠ more work.3
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Badass scenario:
Professor: writes a loop to sum up first five numbers and asks the output.
Me: 500
Other random student: 15
Prof praises him.
He runs the code.
Output: 500 ( internal server error)
(He had a missing semicolon) 😅6 -
i was about to talk about golang - but it can wait.
snapchat's discover section is TERRIBLE. the amount of BULLSHIT, INCORRECT INFORMATION, AND PURE IDIOCY IS MAKING IT TERRIBLE.
now, usually, i rant about mashable when i say it's terrible. AT LEAST WHEN MASHABLE WROTE ABOUT THIS THEY WERE CORRECT. but no, alas, my faith in humanity is put to an all time end. a new evil has arose, by the name of "wired."
of course, and incredibly late to the party, a "tech" outlet wrote about bitcoin. the headline was "is bitcoin killing the planet?" IT HAS BEEN POSSIBLY THE STUPIDEST ARTICLE IVE READ OF ALL TIME. THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANY SHIT THEYRE TALKING ABOUT.
let's take a look at the TWO facts they got wrong, and displayed to over a MILLION people.
now, instead of just GOOGLING TWO SIMPLE FACTS, THEY DECIDED TO JUST WRITE RANDOM SHIT.
ENOUGH WAITING - HERE THE THE TWO FACTS THEY GOT WRONG
picture 1: bitcoin up $900 in the last year? THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING
.
.
.
YEAR?!?
WHY DO SUCH DUMBASSES HAVE ACCESS TO SOMETHING MILLIONS VIEW?
IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
picture two: the actual fuck????
did i just read that?
b- bi- bitcoin will "run dry" BY 2032.
i think i finally figured it out.
these facts, they're literally just random number.
<thoughtBubble>
i can see it now:
wired employee 1: hey, guess what number im thinking of?
wired employee 2: 14?
wired employee 1: *screaming* BITCOIN WILL RUN DRY IN 14 YEARS
</thoughtBubble>
how do these people get hired. do they hire only hire 12 year old interns? im genuinely asking. does anyone know?
okay, end of rant. plz continue complaining about dumbasses who have power thru the media in tech8 -
At first: Maybe you dont agree with my opinion thats fully okay but please respect it.
Dear Telegram Team. Hey, i like your app and appreciate that you try do defend spam. everyone hates spammers but your AUTOMATIC spam detection system is bullshit. That is one thing. The other thing is to lie directly into my and other users face.
You nice spambot tells me my message that was flagged as spam has been forwarded to a human moderator that confirmed it as such. BULLSHIT. Why does a spambot tell me that and not a real human if that would be true ?
You dont even manage to get rid of the pedos and isis terrorists of your app but you wanna tell me you have the resources to check every single message that got flagged as spam by a human ?
You say you have a userbase of 200 Million User
Do you really think your users are that dumb ?
There are no or not as many human moderators. You cant tell me you can check every single Message of 200 Million Users.
You advertize yourself as a free trustworthy open source messenger. (i didnt know that 234 days old source code is open source that is useless because we need to use your api to build own apps) and then you still have the balls to lie at such small things ? Really ? Why dont be honest and say yes of course, its automated.
The Question is when you lie already at such small things Why should people still trust you ? Now with the new passport service you offer and in general. Your servers are still today closed source and the source code of your x apps isnt published today.
Btw if my message got forwarded to human i wanna know who gives you the right to check my private messages im sending to my friends ?. Yes i know there is this cool spam report button but friends dont press it and even when so a message cant be checked in 60 seconds by a human. And also: how can Secret Chat Messages that are E2E encypted even read by you ???? Hell you didnt even awnsered me that in 72 hours since i asked you.
Then was a few month ago the incident with blocking all nsfw groups and channels. you said whoops it was an accident but eh why would you block them in general ? We are living in the 21. Century. Every second hollywood movie has a sex scence in it. Maybe in russian you have an other view of things but even there nsfw content is nothing that should be blocked.
To be fair you do many things better then whatsapp but you arent more trustworthy then whatsapp or facebook.
Ps. to the admins at the publictestgroup of telegram. Over 1.5 years i donated and spended my time in that group and then you do such a shit. even when your group is semi offical you represent telegram a bit you should be a bit more respectful to members.
Thanks for reading the rant. Even if you maybe dont agree with my opinion..... Do you know alternatives for telegram ? Wire and Signal dont have public groups. Any other Messenger i could try ?
9 -
"I fully believe in investing in our people to further their brilliance"
...."have an hour a week to look at Plurasight"
*Looks at Plurasight course lengths*
1 -
What the absolute fuck is this!
Fucking bash needs to get its shit together with its fucking strings.
I don't fucking know why str1 + var2 = var2tr1
Like who designed this fucking bullshit!
I've spent the past 8 hours today counting all my ' and " and making sure everything is getting passed correctly.
And how do you even google this shit anyways!
And why the fuck is the official suggestion from the bash FAQ to load everything into an array and to call it with "${ARRAY[@]}"
WHO THE FUCK DECIDED THAT WAS READABLE!!
AUGH!!!
In case anyone was wondering. It didn't work anyways.
I think I'm done for today... I can't anymore...
for anyone wondering. This is bash getting executed by nodejs with execSync()
and those tokens are temporary and only exist on my dev machine. Sorry for getting your hopes up.
14 -
Instagram trying to trademark the word 'gram', like is that shit even possible? Trademark a standardized unit? (except for the imperials out there of course but still, its a standard) its like someone trying to trademark the word year or something, bullcrappo5
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Need to finish a demonstration ASAP as I'm already behind schedule.
(don't judge me ಠ_ಠ)
Start working, laptop restarts for fuck knows why and doesn't wanna log in.
Now this..
THANKS MICROSOFT!
6 -
When you spend an hour debugging why an API call isn't working and find out YOU MADE A FUCKING TYPO! FUCK YOU ANALYSIS IS A STUPID WORD ANYWAY1
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Yay today my power extender broke!
(the thing that allows you to connect multiple devices to one sockiet, i dont remember the correct term)
That means i need to buy the new one! Because the old one is using rivots it means i cant repair it!
Stupic fucking lead free solder! Why do you even use this shit for connections? It will create those tin wiskers (small wires) that will short shit! This is the reason why my 3 old power extenders failed! And it is propably the reason why it failed as well!1 -
On a conference call for this university-affiliated web app:
Random supervisor: “I think the demo presentation needs some more jazz!”
Another supervisor: “Maybe we can do a virtual reality demo of the site, then!”
What. The. Fuck.1 -
Was bored af with assignment at hand. So just went ahead and wrote a class to implement Eat. Sleep. Code. Repeat. XD
6 -
The University Struggle: when you want to actually code and learn your major but you have an English essay, a Spanish project, chemistry homework, and a book to read all within two days.
.
.
.
Not to mention my actual computer science classes don't teach anything useful in terms of programming6 -
I try to do one thing, I try to make one thing a little better and the universe shovels shit in my face. I’m just trying fix all this old outdated shot and I keep getting shit on in so many ways. I’m trying so hard to not become a bitter angry old man but damn if I don’t understand the bitter angry old mans motives right now. Fuck this ongoing onslaught of crashes and shit shows.
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Im currently doing my first project as a junior dev. I'm working with asp.net core and I had only used regular asp.net before. The project owner who was the guy that used to own the company I work for had only asked me if i was versed in asp.net and said that it was what I was going to work with. So from the start I'm a little bumed out. The difference isn't enourmous, but still.
First day, he says that we are going to use TFS for version handling (god damnit) then he says he has started a bit and has done the first push... And we're missing files. But he's asleep by the time i do the pull (9 hour timezone difference).
Next day he has gotten all the files up and I also get to know that I will be working alone and still have to use TFS.
A few days later he tells me I'm gonna present the first version the next week...
Oh, and did I mention that this is for one of the biggest companies in the world that the very top managers will use. Including CEO, cto etc4 -
It is approximately 42 degrees C outside. And guess whose fucking compressor just went to shit? Mine. Fucking piece of shit. I absolutely fucking hate this shit. Finding the time to go to the shop is pointless when I can fix it myself, but IN the fucking event that the compressor is actually faulty and needs to be replaced then I would have to struggle to wait for the fucking part to get here. If my luck permits and this is an issue that is fixable through a simple relay change then fucking hooray.
But I know how fucking shitty my fucking luck is and its going to fuck me in the ass probably. I will troop through the heat, no problem, but I am the one that carries my 2 year old daughter everywhere and I am not about to put her through that bullshit.
So I call my wife and explain to her the situation, I don't need for her to do fucking anything, I can take care of it myself, but I tell her NOT to have me go out on random bullshit with the girl while the car is like that, I did it to make her understand beforehand because every day is an additional 1 and a half hours of driving around the city to take her do bullshit. I told her that in the event of me needing to go pick something up then it would have to be after the fucking sun goes out(which in this fucking bullshit ass town it happens after fucking 7 or 7:30pm) and she would have to stay home with the girl. What does she do? she gets upset. Of course she got fucking upset. Like if I need that fucking bs right now. OH and my fucking main Linux machine is apparently having battery issues.
OAN my manager gave me my performance review yesterday. The she made are outstanding and my score is perfect. The board is going to give a raise to everyone of us that got an high enough score so that got me in a good mood. I am holding on to that feeling before I lose my shit. Every single fucking time some bs puts me in this mood I am constantly wishing that a motherfucker would.
Fucking bullshit man. Can't have a FUCKING break anyfuckingwere.
This just in on an episode of Murphy's fucking law.4 -
I hate you fucking callbacks. why don't you callback in the fucking order you were motherfucking called!!!! why must you force me to call a callback a callback!! 😣😡😤👹
2 -
Ugh, I hate having to port data from windows to Mac. I myself use Linux and windows. My mom got her first Mac for her birthday, but she needed her 200gb of pictures on I cloud. So I thought it would be like Dropbox, put them in a folder or start an upload and then it processes and is on the cloud. NO. It’s a hellscape as Apples windows programs are awful and I’m ashamed they exist. There is no indication of when they have successfully uploaded, you just have to figure it out. It also doesn’t help when macOS Is oversimplified. Ugh. I ended up taking my terabyte external and having to wait 3 hours for files to transfer and put those on the MacBook. I hate I cloud more than comic sans. I know Dropbox isn’t great or even good for security reasons, but it’s a hell of a lot better than I cloud BULLSHIT.
-
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
LOL, yeah also know as "trending bullshit" 😂😂😂
"Trending in your industry: Five Ways To Make Your Boss Happy"
3 -
When it is Friday and you want to be productive, but you have spent the entire time since sitting down at work fixing Visual Studio and its bullshit.1
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How can a shitty student information system that already costs $20k/yr have an optional shitty SOAP API module, that only allows read access to records, that has an initial setup fee of $5k plus $5k/yr?!5
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If I had some reliable metric to measure bullshit per file, let's call it BPF, I believe the number would be highest on average for files named "gulpfile.js"1
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When I only want to code, but university LaTeX bullshit burns my time 😭 they dont even have clear rules.
Not to mention that their formatting rules make my work look like shit I would never read myself.5 -
I fucking hate asp.net web forms. Today we implemented listboxes, so we expected them to just be a wrapper for HTML listboxes. NOPE! They are simply selects. Why they decided to hijack the name and do this, I don't know. That does explain why they don't have multiple columns like true listboxes.
So glad that for the next project, which we should start by the end of May, we'll be moving to MVC and .Net core. This shit is so stupid!3 -
Project manager asked me to directly communicate with our client.
BUT, he told me what to say and what not to say.
BULLSHIT! All of these business "etiquettes" and formalities are just a waste of time for both the clients and us.
If only I could, I would simply cut all these nonsense and just communicate honestly.2 -
You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.1
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I'm getting pretty tired of all those fuck faces calling themselves "evangelists" and are talking constantly and euphorically about "digitalisation" and "industry 4.0", as if their "skills" (using a smartphone to share kitten videos and making pointless PowerPoint slides using stock images showing some stupid motherfucker with VR goggles making weird gestures) would help them to rise to the pinnacle of "the future" (as conceived by them), while those stupid shit heads are exactly those we'll get rid of first as soon as somebody develops a bullshit generator AI for technobabble (with an export function to PowerPoint), putting those morons out of business for good.1
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"Boss, we have a problem!"
"Don't say that, we call it -opportunity-"
"Boss, we have a lot of opportunities, the server is down."
"Ow..that's a problem"2 -
yellow lemon tree sound starts:
"i'm sittin' here in a boring room, just another rainy sunday afternoon, i'm wastin' my time, i got nothin' to, i'm feelin' so lonely i'm waiting for my fucking graph coloring program to finally finishing this fucking piece of graph coloring in which i spent the last four days figuring out what the goddamn problem is and for some reason my arraylists and my hashmaps didn't get along that well and now i hope that i have finally found the solution to my problem and let this fucking piece of shit of program run otherwise i'll get crazy, but nothing ever happens, ... , and i wondeeeer ... *dum dum dum* *ding* -
Starting up my iPhone 4s to test something
Low battery, I plug it in
It charges, I put it down and let it download an app,
after 5 mins it starts making the sound of unplugging/replugging, something with the cable or the phone is broken, when I was with iphones, these cables were so bad, didn't matter if from Apple or third party
Fucking cables always broke on me
Since Android I never broke a single one, olf micro USB still holding up fine
I guess usb C is even better, but micro serves me a lot better than any fucking apple bullshit cables3 -
People, finally back with a rant😌
You definitely have heard about the new privacy policies in the EU. What do you guys think about this BS?
Who the actual fuck has come up with such trash? Politicians can be such dumbfucks sometimes wtf..😐🤔18 -
Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.
Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.2 -
I really like helping other learn how to use a programming language or solve problems on general. I often go out of my way and stop working on my hobby projects, just to help someone.
Thag being said, I'm no prgramming god. I myself am striving to become a better programmer.
I make mistakes, I can't always help you, I am still learning, but I only have good intentions. And you are by no means obligated to follow my advice. Quite the contrary, fight me, try to prove me wrong or say point out possible flaws. THINK ABOUT WHAT I TELL YOU. DON'T JUST BLINDLY FOLLOW MY ADVICE AND BITCH ON ME LATER.
This happens rather often and I can see why you want to blame me. And I can't deny that part of this is also my fault.
Situations like these don't really tilt me.
But today someone had the fucking nerve to pop a file into the chat and get mad at me for sugvesting a cleaner, shorter and more efficient solution. LIKE I DON'T FUCKING CARE THAT IT TOOK YOU A WHOLE DAY TO IMPLEMENT SOMETHING I CAN DO BETTER IN MINUTES, I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU.
But the best thing I get afterwards: "But you told me to do it like that" BITCH WHAT!?
I have chat logs telling me loud and clear that the concept we never talked about before in private nor on a public server (bless discord's search function). And I will not accept your lousy excuse of having me cobfused with someone. You disrespected me greatly, you put words in my mouth, just to justify your pity anger, when I'm trying to help you?!
Get crucified and put on a shooting range!
I offer you out of pure goodwill. Something you'd normally have to pay for. And this is the treatment I get in return?
Just rm -rf your disastrous, dd -if=/dev/urandom your harddrive and sod off!2 -
I'm super pissed off... I recently got this job, I've been here for three months but in the current project for a month and a half... in this time I learned Laravel and the project is no big deal, I'm more than happy to learn but I'm working with a "Senior" programmer who "has a lot of experience" and "knows a lot" and "very friendly"... the thing is that we use Jira and BitBucket to assign work and control versions, however, the motherfucker doesn't do a shit and when I ask him about something, he totally ignores me... I checked on the latest merges and tickets and I've done like 50 within this month and a half and he has done like 15... He also made me do a big ass thing with a PDF and at the end he completely destroyed it and just used a table with no styles that looks like shit. He took 40 minutes to tell me something he already knew about the models because "I'm sorry, I got distracted"... What should I do?2
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Fried two devices today by simply connecting them to a power source.
Changed nothing in the circuitry, no shorts due to solder residues (a simple modification was made), no changes in the input parameters. Check.
The afromentioned devices should have only minor HW changes compared to a previous version I'm working with and as far as I can see absolutely nothing which should cause the damn microcontroller to release smoke like a steam train. (All right, a very miniature steam train.)
So the only significant difference might be the firmware which I didn't check yet but will tomorrow. Not my code and the corresponding IDE just basically sucks. Yay.
On the other hand, the Software part finally feels like I'm getting somewhere. It seems just ... to work. Very suspicious.
Feeling ambivalently frustrated and relieved at the same time. Sigh.7 -
"Google disables location sharing in Google+ before enabling it for everyone in Google Maps"
The actual fuck google 😡
Source: https://redd.it/61y49w
1 -
Fucking slave traders who want to "touch base" - They ain't coming anywhere near my base, horrible fuckers!
Why can't they just phone or better still email me!?2 -
On The State of Twitter And The World
(important update: everything is still shit and heres 10 reasons why)
Why does it seem like in order to get ahead in life everyone has to self promote now?
It's not enough to be on twitter. You have to like posts. It's not enough to like posts, you have to ask directly for endorsement. But don't ask too directly. And make sure you read this "55 reasons why I don't retweet you list", where I say "remember to stay relevant!"
and "you only ever tweet me when you have something to sell." and "remember to carry on conversations."
Great so we've went back from marketing to sales.
To read the rest, don't forget to visit my fucking link..
http://freetexthost.com/iqbdmh1tut6 -
So I'm making a little CMS for a website generated by iWeb from Apple which is ofcourse shit. I just discovered that they include a 6000 lines javascript file with nu purpose except generating the menu from a feed.xml(which includes to other js files). And the most frustrating thing is that it lowers fontSize if you add more text than the viewport. Fucking hell. I'm looking for a way to dismantle this shit.
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Back in the days, i was on my way back home, after visiting my wife who brought our little son to life, it once blew my mind.
The terminology "inherit" is complete bullshit.
Why is that?
Because, a child isn't able to do anything the parents can, immediately.
It has to learn every single ability from it's parents or who knows else.
Maybe a kid won't be able to learn a specific ability from it's parents at all.
Furthermore, a child doesn't have a single parent.
There are always mom and dad.
Ok. Besides that, there is the option of a solo parentship, if a woman decides to breed based on frozen code ;) -
Fuck ATT, Fuck their company, Fuck their router, Fuck everything they stand for. I just spent 3 hours trying to solve an issue with their fucking router and my bonded nic setup on my home server. I still don't have it completely setup correctly. I just want to murder them at this point. I really need to build my own fucking router at this point. It would end up being so much easier.2
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After 1hour of live chat they were able to help me find the actual page content (green mark) ... speechless
4 -
I hit a new low today, managed to blue screen my machine from eclipse..... How the f- did I manage that?!
-
Man...
Why is it by any means helpful to know whether the ENIAC had 1 000 000 vacuum tubes, or not? (Spoiler: it had far less)
We have this fucking inevitable optional c(o)urse for the last year and last semester at my Uni, called History of Computer Science. It would be totally fine, if we had learnt something really useful, or at least something really close to general knowledge, but no... Instead we should fucking know, who wasn't part of the team designing the ENIAC from a list of 6 people.
I guess our teacher should really go and rest as she is way over the minimum retirement age... and this is way below my expectations about our teachers being on the academic level...1 -
For the past 5 hours I’ve been backing up my pc, reinstalling windows(full wipe of every drive) and, reinstalling programs to my fucking pc. I can now say I’ve been to hell and back, because fuck everything, now I need to rebuild it because 2 years ago “oh cable management is optional I don’t need to do that.” So fml. And especially fuck apple and windows. Fucking windows with having to reinstall once a year and Apple with overpriced bullshit lightning to 3.5 adapters, $10 for one because they removed 3.5 jacks. @linuxxx I understand why Linux is a good alternative although it sucks for gaming due to no support( I know about wine but I don’t want to use it due to it having problems half the time)5
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I love C# but I think that the addition of async/await did more harm than good. Hardly anyone can understand how to use it correctly and the only people who grok its black magic fuckery enough to write about it are MS employees. Try to do anything with it? Nope, there's a high falutin blog post by the likes of Stephen Cleary explaining why everything you know is wrong and you should have never even used async/await in the first place. Even worse is that to use the supposedly game-changing feature requires you to rewrite your entire fucking codebase.
Can you tell that I'm frustrated trying to wrap my head around async/await?4 -
Can I just say that anyone who requires a very specific and very deprecated GTK theme for their GUI are going straight to hell along with people whose GUIs call xserver directly on distros that use other window servers
-
I’m working on buying a license from a company with completely opaque pricing. To the point they are asking me what I want to pay and then getting offended with I low ball them! WTF do you expect?! List some freaking prices.2
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Yes, this is exactly what we need. Allow big corporations to completely control the internet...
https://theguardian.com/technology/...12 -
All the contractors have to take furlough for the holidays, but the company spends the money to buy a bunch of $1300 televisions for no better reason than corporate vanity.
I'm sure the softs think it's the greatest thing ever though.
-
Just spent 4 hours finishing a bullshit assignment for a bullshit class for college. I've never been so close to actually kick my PC as when I was trying to make MS Word put a fucking table *above* some text instead of *in the middle* of a fucking word. For context: I've played 5 hours of DS3 fighting pontiff sulyvahn and didn't rage.
The worst part: it's a fucking group assignment, so I can't use something like latex, since in the only one who knows it. Even then, I would have to make sure I'm using the correct font, since the professor only allows one specific font *and* he sometimes checks it. No idea how, since we print it, but he failed some people because of wrong font. -
Customer calls
Talking about some new feature he haven't totally thought about. so i tell him to think about it.
Talking about a bug, but can't reproduce it.
Talking about another enormous new feature but halt it after hearing the initial estimation.
Total time waster = 1.5 hours for every day.
DON'T LET CUSTOMERS WASTE YOUR DEVELOPMENT TIME.
instead of talking - use project tracking software (i.e. JIRA) -
tl;dr: "Hey everyone plz look at me! I'v rebranded 'Vanilla CSS', look at me plz!!!"
...How to create a buzzword, lesson 1 :
Make a blog post about your freshly-pooped buzzword and start that same post by some poorly crafted pseudo-meta-thinking about buzzwords, just enough to try hard enforcing the idea that we still don't have enough of these bullshits and so yours is needed even if it's totally useless.
https://webdesignerdepot.com/2018/...2 -
I hate html and css. It's fucking horseshit. It needs to be auto-generated with a visual editor or something.
I just want to write programming logic in js. Fuck aligning divs and pictures. Fuck UI.16 -
Want to become CEO in a big ass megacorp in your 50ties? Read this study.
https://heidrick.com/Knowledge-Cent...
-
When your computer illiterate supervisor takes the credit for how great your development and delivery strategy is.
-
I have spent the last 2 days on the phone trying to get support for certain issues...
- Amazon
- Quickbooks
- CRA
It is universal that all support lines are complete garbage. Shitholes for stupid people to get paycheques.
I have noticed that this task has actually had a negative impact on the emotional state and it upsets me further that I have allowed this.
I am getting a virtual assistant to handle this because frankly, my time is too valuable to be consistently wasted by stupid people delivering no results.
"I am a software engineer and have tried all the normal debugging techniques"
"Did you try restarting it?"
"Yes, that was the first thing I did..."
"Well, would you mind doing it again"
"Yup... It did not work"
"Hmmmmm....."
5 minutes of silence...
"Have you tried the next step that you already read on our support site"
"Yes!"
"Could you try it again for me?"
"FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!"
I am literally listening to someone who is reading the god damn support page (and reading it at what seems to be a 3rd-grade level) GREAT!!!!1 -
Just fired up my Windows 10 VM and it goes ham... there is nothing installed but office.
Why!?
Seriously. If someone can explain to me why this is necessary, I'd greatly appreciate it!
It's 15 minutes past when I've resumed the VM from suspension now and it's still going on like that and it's slow as fuck.
I don't want this to escalate to an OS war. Tastes are different.
As I was writing this: apparently Office is updating itself by default consuming a shitload of system resources while doing so. This is fucked up...
4 -
Lead dev asks me to take on the restful api aspect to a new internal tool UI I have been building. Happy for the challenge, I spend the 4 days (half of that in my own time), writing out 1k lines of C# that I endeavoured to keep clean, thoroughly decoupled and something I can be proud of.
I give regular updates.
This morning he responds to my last update “we already have most of that code in place”.
This stuff happens a lot. Back of a fagpacket planning and then cries all around when it INVARIABLY goes wrong.
Does this kind of bullshit happen in a properly organised, Agile team? We are about to take on a huge project and frankly I want to save myself the ballache and go find a well oiled team if what I am witnessing isnt just how things are in software land, but as I rather suspect a product of lack of communication and organisation.1 -
I tried using Lynda the other day for what I assumed would be improving my theoretical knowledge of digital forensics. Part of the lesson in "advanced" digital forensics was that people change filename extensions to make them look innocuous, and how to use nano.
-
How one's inner and outer behaviour would be, when you boss is bullshitting you ?
Outer me : oh is it, wow you are knowledgeable person.
Inner me: fuck you bitch, get the fuck out. You lame sob..!!!3 -
4 hours to a major release, decided to remove a web service from the app, instead do whatever that service was supposed to do in a DB query, as just realized that the foresaid service will be called only once to fix some data discrepancy !!!
-
TLDR: FUCKING AMAZON SCREWING SHIT UP
Alright here we go:
So I bought a SmartWatch on Amazon yesterday and I chose overnight delivery so it should have been delivered today. I was all excited and then I went to sleep. When I woke up I checked if they shipped my order and guess what... Amazon fucking told me to choose another payment option and I was only able to choose a credit card... I dont even fucking have a credit card and why the fuck didnt you tell me right away when I selected my usual payment method? A big FUCK YOU to Amazon. I bought the watch on ebay now and it will arrive on saturday and Im so mad about it...2 -
Silicon labs: post on our forum
Me:K fine bitch
Silicon labs: sends me 200 emails a day
Me: silicon labs is fucking retarted(cancels account)
Me: still gets emails.
silicon labs: eats cum and shit for every meal3 -
var self = this;
if (args != null) args = Array.from(args);
return function(){
return self.apply(bind, args || arguments);
};
no wonder nobody likes js. this is not js. this is shit.5 -
When the only thing that standing between you and finishing your app is WebRTC!
BAHHHHHHH, I don't know why, but this thing is kicking my butt. Spent like 2 weeks now trying to get it... Anyone on the community got any good links for how to use this? Because I am losing my mind here D:4 -
Don't you hate when you wanna install arch on your 6 year old laptop but it turns out it's uefi when you have already made partitions that is ext4 when you should have made it fat and then when you remove the partitions and do everything all over again you get some bullshit error when trying to use arch-chroot!
-
Atlassian truly know its way to use marketing euphemisms in such a way that it feels like a slap in my face and kick into my groins.
The next time my app crashes and people come running to me that they cannot used it at all, I will simply state that I am looking into reports of people seemingly experiencing "degraded performance".
At least they are consistent, as they did that as well in the past with their [minor glitch](https://devrant.com/rants/922343/...) thing.1 -
Dear Gfycat, why in the seven fucks do your direct links not work with lowercase letters?
https://gfycat.com/oblongobedientca... works just fine but https://giant.gfycat.com/oblongobed... crashes and burns because 3 letters in the user's name are uppercase?
Now I have to find a way to hack my way out of this bullshit in my app. Thanks, you cunts.7 -
Fuck when the app builds on everyone else's machine in the company but yours and you have no idea why. I pulled the same branch from the source control, made sure everything was right, even tried just copying it directly from a co-worker's machine but it just won't fucking work. Fuck you extjs for not letting me work for now almost 5 hours. Fuck you.2
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When you're having to add BS/hackey conditionals to your code because the other dev is too damn lazy to fix their code.
-
Do you think Microsoft buying GitHub would make a big impact on the Microsoft competitors who've integrated GitHub in their products?
-
It’s like my boss is trying to purposely make my life difficult.
He forces me to make two barely started and very complex websites live months early and then spends the rest of the day complaining that things don’t work properly yet.
What the actual fuck, what do you expect?!
But no, people are desperate to read your poorly formatted blog posts about how amazing Gary V is. -
I've been working on the same project for a month or so. Now I'm fixing bugs (to be read as 'changing a lot of features and adding new things, because we don't really know what we need'), and I'm getting really, like REAAAALLY bored with it. There's so much nonsense. Now I wish I were somewhere else, maybe on a beach with a beer in my hand.1
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My co founder/ co-coder and I always have funny and wierd conversations. It got to the point that we've started a podcast. They're short and it would mean the world to us if you'd listen and give us feedback as you lot are all trustworthy codey people!
You can find the podcast here: https://anchor.fm/blooware4 -
"Software" such as Yoast SEO, by Yoast is the reason people hate WordPress.
Fuck Yoast SEO, fucking bugged crapware piece of horseshit.3 -
FUCKING NGINX...........
I moved a website to a new server, and nginx redirects me to another fucking website on the same server. I have been trying to fix that for FUCKING 3 HOURS. I did everything. Disabled EVERY site on that server except that one, works. I go back. Guess what..... haha it goes back and FUCKING REDIRECTS ME TO OTHER SITES. You have to be fucking kidding me right 🖕. I check if I miswrote anything, check if it's the control panels fault (doesn't look like it). I make a vhost myself for the site (with the other still active to check if it detected the vhost). Reload...
nginx: "One vhost was ignored because the servername already exists". Yeah yeah you twat nginx.
So le me disables every site again (except le not working site). I enable every site again.
nginx: "owh hey * someip * heres the site".
Me: .............. 😡😡 fucking twat. 🖕🖕
BTW, have no clue what caused it. Seems to work now. It shouldn't be a DNS issue I checked that. Anyone any ideas? Appreciate it.3 -
I always put my work and tasks in a queue..
But with time that queue becomes Priority Queue with elements of my choice only.
Fuckin bullshit happen always -
Dear real estate industry,
if you define a horrible exchange format as CSV file. Then fucking stick to that specification or give me access to your horrible 90s style tooling so I can at least figure out why every crap tool exports in a slightly different way.
How in the world am I supposed to map your data if you keep changing the field count (which is the only way of validating an exported file).
You pretend to be innovative by specifying an industry wide standard but you aren't able to stick to it.
Fuck you, and the one guy "developing" the specification. Seriously... One guy has the responsibility? Do you really think that's a good idea.
Get your shit together!
Yours,
every developer working in your industry -
Another Mojave Post...
Apple added 4 new apps, all of which cannot be removed (oh boy am I off to a great start). I saw the new home app and thought "if your stuck here I might as well attempt to put you to some use" so I opened it to try and maybe add my smart plug or something, but it told me I need an iOS device to add accessories...
Why the fuck is there any functionality that is locked behind iOS especially something as integral to the core functionality of the app like adding a fucking device to an app that manages them.
On a side note apparently news is bugged for me and I cannot find it it the launchpad so that's slightly less bloat.2 -
Wow Chrome, you can just go fuck yourself. I am trying to make this epic CSS effect for one fucking hour just to find out filter animations are completely trash and broken there. At least our Firefox clients will still see it thanks to @supports...4
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Coming up with tests that show we have met the requirements on the project, some of the requirements are "Use method X" to perform this computation, boss says "we can't simply refer to the documentation/source code demonstrating that this method is used" ... WTF....
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I'm tasked to set up a small network with a Cisco router and switch. The router only has one FastEthernet port but it's okay because VLAN trunking is a thing. So I go through each config, set up an IP addressing scheme, SSH, DHCP, VLAN's and secure each device. I go to setup trunking on the port connecting the switch to the router and find out the switch doesn't support encapsulation (required for trunking)... Oh and because it's uni equipment I'm not allowed to update the IOS on the switch. Fml2
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This privacy fever isn't bad, at least companies have to pretend to give a fuck a little more now. But the effects aren't all good!
I have updated every app on my android phone at least 2 times in the last 2 - 3 weeks. Argh! Every one of them using the "updates to our privacy policies" card. -
What is your worst project you have worked on ?
Ans) my self, I have worked on CMS project called as Ellis pathway, which is my ever worst project I have worked on. It was developed on the language called omnimark, have you by any chance heard about it ?. Moreover it was used to process XML and the worst nightmare would when XML is 500mb and it is not valid after process. I have spent shit lot of hours fixing XML manually.. I literally fucked my self there. Thank God I somehow managed to quit and move on. -
Got an SMS inbound: "Please get in remote control into my laptop before the boat leaves in 3 minutes and I lose Wi-Fi signal, I need an username/password written in [the Windows UAC prompt]"
I was on my lunch break, and saw the message a too late. -
You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!! -
When a manager / "architect" starts saying complete nonsense about how some technology works, because he read a bit about it on the internet, but you prefer to just let him talk than proving him wrong. Not worth my time...1
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Not quite quitting a job but my course in college. Had 5/6 lecturers in my first semester last year that were totally unprepared and some were even clueless on simple things. One line was if I had five more minutes it would have worked when showing us how to code in python(he was using Java conventions) this was 10 minutes after the lecture should have finished. After 3 months of that utter crap and a summer of studying for repeat exams(had mumps for the original exams) I was ready to quit. Good thing the year I was in was good fun to hang out with other wise I would be working in McDonald's right now
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I saw an article that stated that Java is the most used programming language... NICE SENSE OF HUMOR...what can I say.7
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RIP GitHub
Take a service I like and pay for, a service that is about open source and collaboration, and sell it to a company that is complete garbage and has for years been hated for selling garbage overpriced software that is just terrible.
I’m not looking to argue about Windows (it’s garbage no matter how much you want it not to be) but Microsoft as a company is just not a fit for GitHub.
I’m not stupid though, I see the goal. The goal is that old school, shitty emperor use software teams will be more likely to use GitHub if it is owned my MS. On the same way that many of them force their employees to use garbage Windows machines because “it’s what we have always done”.
GitHub will become another shitty service that some people argue is good based on their ignorance
Of other options. This is sad.
TLDR: I fucking dislike this acquisition entirely and will immediately remove all private repos from GitHub and cancel my subscription on Monday if it is announced.3
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