git everywhere

We all know that guy that resolve all the conflicts with a "push --force"

It's friday, don't forget to push your code before you go home 😊

Just had a fire drill at school. I yelled "GIT PUSH!! GIT PUSH!!".

I've always wanted to do that... :P

When the team isn't holding anymore

"Don't worry about testing too much, push it to production asap"

To the new devs:
Never push production on friday

.push-up-bra {
margin-top: -25%;
overflow: visible;
}

"Sir, it compiles"

"Push"

"But Sir, what about debugging?"

"I said push"

"But shouldn't we..."

"PUSH THE GOD DAMN CODE"

Me: I should make a new branch.
Inner me: push to master.

.push-up-bra {
margin-top: -25%;
overflow: visible;
}

git add -A
git commit -m "fixed tupo"
git push

🤓

Pull before push :)

8am. Fire alarm. Git push!

Hey everyone - I just wanted to update our Android users on the push notification crash that has been occurring.

The good news is the issue should be fixed in the update I just pushed out (should be available in the Google Play Store within a few hours). We apologize for the crashes and thank everyone for their patience.

I'm still looking in to what actually happened here. Our GCM library hasn't been updated in a while and all of a sudden a specific case started failing. I'll continue to look in to how that seemingly happened with no changes in the app. Some other users of the library started experiencing the same issue.

Thank you dear mr. boss for fucking up our master branch by adding local changes to a 2 months outdated master branch (250 FUCKING COMMITS BEHIND), pull the remote and then just push without resolving any conflicts!!!1!!!

But thank you so much for sending me an email at 10pm asking me to resolve the conflicts.

It is 3 in the morning and it took 1 hour to get it clean.

Sometimes I want to break some necks...

When we push directly to production

When i will push my last commit before leaving this job

Wife: commit, and come to bed..
Me:
> git commit -m "wife wants me to go to bed"
> git push origin master -f

When I push on the wrong branch

alias yolo="git push --force"

So I've been screaming for months that push notifications are not reliable enough to build critical functionality on top of. Management won't listen and keep pushing ahead with making teams use it because its cheap and easy.

Been debugging an issue on/off for several weeks. Turns out someone in management asked the backend team to cut the expiration time of items down to 5 minutes to increase throughput (without telling mobile). Notifications are regularly taking +4 mins to get to the phones, leaving our users with barely any time to react. They are now complaining.

I swear if there is a single IQ point available between the whole team i've yet to see any evidence of it

In case of fire:

Git commit
Git push
Git out of building

I just joined a company where all push to master branch. 🙄

GIT PUSH LIVE

Don't forget to Git commit

When i accidentally push *.class files and the whole build directory

Me: Push... peek... push.... Pop...
Husband: What are you doing?

Force Push Pitfalls😏

Emergency code push the gas station!

That moment when you sit down at your PC and realize you forgot to push your latest commit from your laptop.

Actual pro tip: don't push only when you are done with code. Always push when you are done with coding session. Minimize the possibility of data loss and always have your code on the server.

$ git push --force origin master

Lesson of the day: Never ever force push to fucking master.

Went into bed with peace in mind. Updated my website and everything working perfectly. Tonight I'll have a good sleep.

Jumped from bed all of a sudden :

GIT COMMIT! GIT PUSH!

Git push, Git commit, Run 😎😋

push -f

- Hey it's lunch time!
- Yeah let me push these changes...
- No! You'll do it later.
- But, it will take 2 minutes!
- NO! WE'RE HAVING LUNCH NOW.

Windows crashes ._.

Dev: To send push notifications, please open a ticket to get access to the new tool we are using which is dedicated to managing push notifications and push notification campaigns.

Me: ok done.

*5 days later*

Tool owner: Can you please add to the ticket the reason you need access?

Me: “To use it”

I don't know why it gives you that, just force push ...

* git add .
* git commit
* git push
* git the f*ck out

You much push your code before you die 😂😂

The only time I don't confuse push/pull is when using git.

> git commit -m 'fixing what I broke earlier'
> git pish
> git: 'pish' is not a git command. See 'git --help'.

Did you mean this?
push
> you know I meant push, why can't you leave me alone and just do it

Don't ever ever forget to push before leaving office.
I repeat : Don't ever ever forget to push!
Sends app to client.
At home and decides to check if the changes actually worked just to realize it crashes because i forgot to comment out my dummy test data.

*On a bus back to the office at midnight*

Everytime I see one of my mates use git push force...

git pull
git push
git pull
git push
git merge XY
git release vNewBaby

Never forget to pull & push

git dammit

when you push to master by mistake

guy add proposal.txt;
git commit -m "Wish me luck";
git push

My friend and I were watching a documentary about Salmon. He suddenly starts to giggle and I ask him whats up.

Friend: Why do salmon suck at version control?

Me: why?

F: because they always git push force upstream 😂😂😂

So I was playing Formula 1 game and I heard “push, push, push” from the engineer while leaving pit-lane.

I immediately closed game and started “git push”

Right-Click > Push to Production...

He forgot to push!

the moment when you remember you forgot to push

Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:

- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push

Get assigned ticket.
Finish the most of the feature. Finish most of the specs.
Push.

Second dev wants to own accounting half of the ticket.
Rip out half my changes, rewrite specs.
Push.

Code review asks for minor changes.
Finish them.
Push.

Product creep creeps the scope.
Finish the feature again.
Push.

Product creep creep-creeps the scope.
Finish the feature again.
Push.

New release happens.
Merge in master; fix conflicts. Run specs; random unrelated specs fail, some fail intermittently. Rabbit holes of complicated, unexplored, obviously-flawed code.
Fuck that. Push.

When you ditch the QA and push the changes to production server.

Here we go.. 3.. 2.. 1.. F***CCCK!!

$ git push
> current branch is behind
$ git push -f

... 5mins later coworker is asking why his commits have disappeared.

`git push origin master --force`

Generally I repeat to my team: "if you touch master I'll cut you f*cking hands off!". Even when I have master push policies.

Should I be extremist about master?

What happens when you push corn into a stack?

When there is a conflict, a jedi uses the force!

git push -f 😂

"Just push to production"

git push --force...🔥

Why bother testing if you can just push to production

I closed the lid of my laptop and went for a lunch. When I came back the damn machine wouldn't start and I realised I didn't push anything to github today so wish me luck recovering data from the drive.

(At least lunch was good.)

*git push*

"There are 27 unresolved merge conflicts"

git push --force origin master

"How did the last push to prod go?"

Developer confession.

I always git push a new branch even though I know it will error as there's no upstream, just to copy the full git push with set upstream arguments from the error message.

Embarrassing moment:

Needed to deliver apk urgent urgently​ for push notification testing. I was unable to receive push token. Code is right in every way. Couldn't figured out in 15min. Lead comes to my seat and asks what's issue. And hey suddenly I figured it out. It was my wifi closed.. Bullshit 😬😠

git add .
git commit -m "hello there!"
git push origin dev-rant

git push origin master --force

Push to master without testing...
Source: commitstrip.com

Hey boss, I see you are on a rampage with those trello cards, they all flying to the done list... How about you push to gitlab at least once a week too?

You gonna have to deal with the conflicts alone you dumb fuck :)

Git Push...

when you're getting mad..
alias yolo='git push --force'

git push --theLimits

The first push got rejected so I had to use the Windows equivalent sudo command instead

People who commit and push everything without checking the diff 😤

Don't forget to git push before reinstalling Windows :)

TL;DR: Fuck.

Longer fuck:
I only did git commit and forgot to push changes. And the rest is pretty obvious.

Should I push my 1000th commit along with the 1000 devRant ++'s?

We changed the requirements...

Nobody TOUCH ME unless you intend to push me to +1111

Worked whole day from home.
Came today to work, realized i forgot to git push.
fml

Remember kids, clear out any login credentials before doing git commit and git push!

/smacks himself

First push at my new work - buildbreaker...

Recently someone from QA came to me yelling "Why did you push to master? You have a feature branch for these changes..."

I replied "Indeed. Coincidently it's called 'master' "

Commit, push and here starts the weekend 👌😬😍

When you leave project without commit and push! 🙈😬

Just push it

Don't push to production on a Friday afternoon.

"git push -f" be like 🙈

git add .
git commit -m "updates"
git push origin master

My first post is not a rant. This is initial commit. git push -a -muthafaka

git branch maintenance.

Because certain people like to push to master.

thanks to git I get to exercise every day.. I push constantly

Mom: it's time to go!
Me:
$ git commit -m "I have to go"
$ git push
I'm ready!

Well they took so long to push so I shipped anyway

A training exercise for people who won't push their code.

git commit -m "fixed some problems"
git push -f

Race to git push -u origin master

git push -f master

Yet another update to push bugs🙄🙄

> git push origin master

* [new branch] master -> master

Thank you GitHub.

holy shit i have push notifications on devrant now. this is new

Thank god it's Friday, y'all know what what means; git push -f

literally every

`git push --force origin master`

*doing the happy dance*

🕺💃🕺🎶🕺💃🕺🎶🎶🕺💃🕺

IT WORKS!! It finally WORKS!!! For the first time. AND IT WORKS!!!

```
^s^s^s^s^s^s^s
git add .
git commit -m 'IT WORKS!!!!'
git push origin
git push backup1
git push backup2
```

*continues with the dance*

git push origin master --force

"Bro, do you even git push?"

We're good here, let's push it to prod.

Always push to master...

If I push first... they will have to merge. xD

git push —force

Cafe like this is where productivity push in

git push it to the limit!

Get it?

"git reset --hard HEAD~1" after push

To push? Or not to push?? xDDDDD

git push origin master

In case of emergency:

1. git commit
2. git push
3. Leave building

> Failed to push some refs. To prevent you from losing history, non-fast-forward updates were rejected. Merge remote changes before pushing again.

🤦

When a female developer enters:
git push --force origin master

Just remembered that I forgot to push all day's work..
Now my scumbag brain is going to keep me awake all night thinking about all the shit that can go wrong...
Great

I really don't understand how developers from Facebook, WhatsApp and other messaging platforms still didn't figure out that ever since they introduced message previews on push notifications that those "seen" check-marks became utterly useless in most of cases..

This COVID-19 quarantine just confirms it, since nobody is doing anything else except being on phones and computers whole day but somehow it still takes them several hours to "read" the message..

Push push push

-2 mins to weekend, getting ready for a Friday rage push.
Checkout master? Done. Staged everything? Done. Impersonating boss with git credentials? Done.
120 sec to push.
119...
118...
117...

TGIF
okay time to push to prod 🔘

When you accidentally push an API key to a public git repo :'(

What can you do with people using so many times git force push ...

* explain gently this is not necessary
* punch him/her everytime you see it
* other stuff that is not in the above list

Microsoft pushes out an update more than we push _________.

Trust your imagination.

$ git commit - -amend
$ git push -f origin master

Office door here is perfectly fit:

Pull - when you enter.
Push - when you leave.

Well done boys!

In case of Fire

Git Commit
Git Push
Exit Building!

git push --force

Because I always push after every commit, when the slightest fuckup happens I just hard reset, commit again, and force push...

...even if it's just a typo in the commit message

Race to 'git push' be like

'I don't want to push this commit yet'

Proceeds to write commit title and presses push.

'Wait, fuck ..'

Think about when GitHub is where people push their DNA's source code :)

Whenever ran into a problem.
Perform git push --force

FUCK IOS PUSH NOTIFICATION THAT IS SO FUCKING UN-FUCKING-RELIA-FUCKING-BLE. YOU MAKE ME CRI AT WORK!

I'm so tired, I tried to push code to GrubHub.

Me: Is git male or female?
Friend: male.
Me: why?
Friend: it does all the pushing and pulling!
Me: Really? I think we push and pull into git.

When you forget to remove print statements before you push... 😐

$ git push --force origin master

Geez, how many hotfixes can we push in a week?

That is the way to do it...

Am I the only one that comes to the sad realization that if I wanna have a happy and healthy lifestyle I have to sleep a lot and avoid caffeine and do exercise on a daily basis and, on the other hand, if I wanna do all the things I'd like to do concerning software development (and hold a regular job) I have to sacrifice sleep, exercise and switch water to coffee?

git push origin ams... backspace, backspace, backspace... master

Http/2 server push is really cool. Like, really fucking cool. Those researchers at google really got this right. I hate how they handle their users but I have to say they really make good use of the money they get by selling us for kettle.

Dear Apple,

You suck at push notifications. Please allow Google to do its good job (Firebase) without going through your servers.

Fuckingly pissed,
A programmer

In case of emergency:
git commit
git push
git out

About to git push -f . May the force be with me

When I push to Master Branch

Sometimes I push to master just to get the rush of rebellion

`git push origin master --force`

> Press "Push" button in the IDE.
IDE: ❌ Error 😩 Unable to push branch 'dev' to origin
* Ugh. *
> Open console. Type "git push".
Console: All deltas resolved, chief. 🫡 dev -> dev

Why. Another day, another experience to prefer the command line.

Ionic 1
For ionic push notification which is best
(1) Onesignal push notification
(2) Cordova plugin push notification
.?

Woke up 4am today to push my first iOS app. Took me three phucking hrs to realise apple is down! Their FUCKING dev stats website says all is green! Fuck u xcode

git push -f

rm -rf *
git add .
git commit -m "Initial commit"
git push -f

git push --force

I'm so happy that I have the first working version of the program. Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.

Day 1: Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.

Day 2: Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.
.........

Day 200: Just couple of bug fixing and unit testing and I'll push the code to production.

😞

git commit --amend --no-edit
git push -f

Real men push to master and test in prod.

Whenever i see a door with Push sign, I Pull first to avoid conflicts...

git push --force

Push the due date back

Short angry rant
What the fuck is wrong with the SalesForce Authenticator logic?! How in the hell do you fuck up a simple 2FA system this hard?!!

Login -> Waiting for Notification... nothing... -> Reload Page -> Login -> Waiting for Notification... nothing -> Click "Use Code instead"... nothing happens... -> Reload Page -> "Login -> don't even wait for notification and just pres "Use Code instead"... nothing -> Reload Page -> Notice there's a "Use Code" button on this page as well -> Finally be able to log into the fucking Aloha piece of shit...

How TF is it, that Duo is able to send me a push notification within 1 second and it ALWAYS works... and THIS FUCKING SHIT NEVER FUCKING WORKS THE FIRST TIME AND AT WORST JUST DOESN'T WORK AT ALL!!!!!

Fucking hell.... Don't offer me a push notification service if you don't know how to make one... jesus fucking christ... All of Salesforce security is fucking stupid, but at least the others mostly work, but this retarded piece of crap is making me actively surprised when it works on first try... Maybe it's because I'm on a slow connection, but again Duo Mobile doesn't have this problem and works *instantly*... so what sort of retarded monkey coded the SF one I don't know, but I hope they are making better products now, because this is a disgrace to programming and security

1. Push a bug with a bug fix.
2. Fix the bug created during previous bug fix.
3. Push the bug fix which solves the bug created during previous bug fix.

Try not to cry...
Cry a lot 😭 😭

Achievement of the day: breaking GitHub doing a forced push.
(Apparently I was able to create a kind of ghost commit that randomly appeared and disappeared from a pull request, plus other random errors 🤪)

junior be like:

git add
git commit
*wait 0.2 sec*
git push

Screenshot of my git push attempts while trying to type fast

git push
..
to master

// Do not push to github
aweful_hack = failure(self)

git push -f

Live deployment next week Monday but Product Owner really need this new fix in.

Can you code, push to test, test it, push to acceptance test, UAT it before Friday...

It's Wednesday today 😐

Project manager says ok 😱

I think the mobile app for devRant should have push notifications.

I've said it before but for the sake of new devs, never ever force push to fucking master.

Fuck, wanted a year long streak on github but failed at 40 days.

I did code but just had no part finished so didn't commit.

I even have an alarm for committing ffs. I just snoozed it and was like I do it when I finished x. Forgot track of time like always with coding and found out four hours later.

Fuck. Back to one. I just start over, it shouldn't be that hard.

I should change my commit behavior to push if compiles instead of push after complete feature. So, I change the definition of achievement easier to achieve

git push -f --all origin

dev_storyV1.1 (without merge conflict)
Thief: Quick! Hand me your wallet and backpack
Dev: *hands over the empty wallet, takes laptop from bag, pulls from remote, pushes all the commits to remote, deletes local repo, puts laptop in bag, hands over the bag* Here you go mister *sighs*

So, I turned on my old phone to transfer all my p̶o̶r̶n̶ photos, and it crashed from the notifications.

And I understand that it's an underpowered device and notifications aren't expected to come by the hundreds, but how terribly misdesigned must a pubsub system like Push be for the client to crash?

git push --all

TGIF & remember..

DO NO FUCKING PUSH TO PRODUCTION TODAY!
DO NOT FUCKING RELEASE A NEW VERSION OF THE CLIENT APP!
FUCK!!
have a nice weekend partners 🤗

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it extremely satisfying completing a successful git push -u origin master?

git push origin master --force

Git :- Push rejected. Merge or Rebase?

Me :- git push -f origin master.

Why do some developers rebase or resolve merge conflicts when you can just email each other changes and force push?

Git push -u origin/master --force

I've got a kinda basic networking question I can't quite figure out

How does a push notification work?

Like, on an Android app. A good example is an authenticator. Say I don't login to the service for 4 months.

Then, one day, I try to log into the web portal and it prompts me to accept the request on my authenticator app on my phone.

Immediately, there's a push notification on my phone.

Wtf.

Is there a socket open for 4 months? Does it send requests every few seconds for 4 months? I can't imagine that either of these options scale whatsoever: both horrendously waste bandwidth and server connections.

How the fuck does it work? I don't even have the first idea.

I won't push the documentation unless the guy pays me!

@dfox Wouldn't it be better if there were limited amount of push notifications if user haven't seen the previous ones yet? I commented on some popular rant and when I got to a stable connection, the phone vibrated like crazy for at least 15s :D It was awesome btw.

git push origin master

hey im feel drunk so night night.

any1 gonna push?

babad ideaz…

My Friday Developer Jam:

Push it by Salt-N-Pepa

git checkout -b myself
git commit -m "fix bugs"
git push myself

Main branch running locally - fine
Main branch locally connected to QA dB - fine
Main branch on QA server with QA dB - NOPE

OK - build main locally, push to QA server - fine
WTF.jpg
Main build by build server, push to QA - nope

Rebuild QA vm and dB - build main, push to QA - nope

Turn on full server logging - PASS.

MAXIMUM WHAT