There are no senior engineers in a company that pushes to master.

I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF WE'VE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS, IT FUCKING CAME UP AGAIN DIDN'T IT?! SO WE CLEARLY DIDN'T NAIL IT THE FIRST FUCKING TIME.

*every time we're pulled into a meeting to discuss a problem. 20 mins into discussion.*

"But that approach overlooks s-"

"THANKS GUYS. JUST KEEPING IN MIND TIME, LETS MOVE ON"

---

Move on to what? You asked to meet to discuss this problem - but I guess we should stop because `time > problem`.

"The user is only going to see the loading screen for a second anyway".

Tell me more about poor internet connections, Mr. CBD-residing, office-wifi developer. I'm all ears.

"Hey guys, we should start using ESLint. It's a popular linter. There's 13,000+ styling inconsistencies it could streamline using `--fix`"

"Yeah... But these errors, they're not really errors, right? So, we don't need to fix them."

...

1. I never said they were errors. Do you know how a linter works?
2. Sure, I guess being consistent and familiar are overrated qualities of a codebase. Carry on!

*weekly team planning session, my first week*

They: "We don't estimate on effort required, we estimate on the number of unknowns"

Me: "How do you know unknowns?"

They: "Exactly. Also, we don't account for 0 unknowns."

Me: "What if it's a simple text change?"

They: "There's always unknowns."

Accidentally pressing E while browsing a github repository instantly forks it 😡 what the fork?!

"Oh, documentation? We don't write documentation. Our tests are our documentation."

Sure - I guess your developers are computers, too.