When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

I have done it, I crashed Vim. 16 GB wordlist for password cracking

Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?

Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.

Customer: ...Okay...

Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.

Customer: I like that, let's do it!

Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?

I uploaded a release APK to Play Store with the API host set to the local address I used in dev 192.168.x.x:8000 :/

I asked for some logs of the server... The guy brought me stacks of paper with logs from the server....

Ooookkkaaayyy? My battery is on drugs.

Girlfriend: babe where are you?
Me : at the gym
Girlfriend: waoh nice babe
Me: ya the system crashed again
Girlfriend: oh I went too far
Hahaha

Priceless 😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂😂

Boys use the word FRIENDSHIP to strart the relationship...

Girl use the word FRIENDSHIP to end the relationship...

Real example of Polymorphism...😜😜😜

Mum: What is a software engineer?
Me: I create soft...
Mum: Wait, don't talk all techy, you're just gonna confuse me!

I am a long time lurker on stackoverflow. There was a time I was stuck on an obscure error for so long but finally light shone when I found an answer to that problem on stackoverflow.

Overjoyed, all I wanted is to leave an upvote for the answer; before I realised that you need a +15 reputation before you can do (I know I am late in this game)

So I worked my way to that 15 and it was a tedious one. Stackoverlords deleting my answer, voting no to my edit and reverting another over petty reasons

I fought back by flagging my deleted answer with my reasons and alas the community backed me up by upvoting my answer (which was revived),the original answer poster approved my edit and @me a thank you comment. I was elated

And it is today, I got my +15. That I could finally pay back and upvote the answer from my benefactor

*opening cmd*
"wow, are you Hacking?"
me: "yah, sure. See that lamp? I can hack that."
"really?"
me: "sure".
*lamp flickers"
me: "I did that" 😂

"So, you will stay in a chair all day doing 'clickety click'. That's not a job."
(My mother, circa 1990)😲

Yes, I'm old... My first program was written in a stone table with a chisel😁