99 little bugs..

You know you have hired a Python programmer do Java when .....

when i merge two files manually

What should be actual JIRA statuses

When your release keeps getting pushed back to get other customer facing releases out the door, but your project is vital to every product's functionality and your just sitting there like...

When the DBA says he's going to take a dump before we deploy the next release.

Boy: Will you marry me?
Girl: No
Boy: Sudo will you marry me?
Girl: Oh yeah lets go go go!

I hate programming.
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
IT WORKS!
I love programming.

When the change log says "fixed bugs and improved performance" only to find the entire application has been redesigned.

That lovely moment when a client calls out of the blue at 4:30PM (we close at 5), 3 weeks before scheduled launch and says, "My website goes down tomorrow so where are we at with the new site?" So...I scrambled all day today to get the site done and it turns out they don't even own their domain or control their DNS. (facepalm) They put in a 30 day cancellation with their current provider and didn't bother to mention we had barely 2 weeks to develop a full custom site.

When you accidentally leave a console.log in your code that goes into production that says: "I'm fucking working!!!" and notice it a year later when fixing a bug.

When you get to talk to anyone at Amazon hoping they bring up free AWS credits

When your PM is whining like a baby about resource issues surrounding developing new features when he/she already agreed one of the teams top priorities was getting "run the business" work done.

Oh yeah!