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A hacker deleted the despacito video from youtube.
Those are not the hackers we deserve, but the hackers we need.20 -
My sister is 16yo and she is not interested in the C.S field. I gave her last year my laptop and it has Debian on it, since i bought a new one. She never told me that she has to deal with any problem, she was just using it.
Today she got a new laptop from our grandma and she texts me "hey, is there any way i can install Linux on that? I don't want to use windows".
Well i told her that she has to wait me to come back home next month and i will take care of it.
I had never thought that i will listen something like that. Good day.22 -
I'm bored. Let's download a game to play to kill my time everytime i'm bored.
*Downloads game of 4GB*
Plays 5 mins.
Deletes the game.20 -
My biggest dev blunder. I haven't told a single soul about this, until now.
👻👻👻👻👻👻
So, I was working as a full stack dev at a small consulting company. By this time I had about 3 years of experience and started to get pretty comfortable with my tools and the systems I worked with.
I was the person in charge of a system dealing with interactions between people in different roles. Some of this data could be sensitive in nature and users had a legal right to have data permanently removed from our system. In this case it meant remoting into the production database server and manually issuing DELETE statements against the db. Ugh.
As soon as my brain finishes processing the request to venture into that binary minefield and perform rocket surgery on that cursed database my sympathetic nervous system goes into high alert, palms sweaty. Mom's spaghetti.
Alright. Let's do this the safe way. I write the statements needed and do a test run on my machine. Works like a charm 😎
Time to get this over with. I remote into the server. I paste the code into Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio. I read through the code again and again and again. It's solid. I hit run.
....
Wait. I ran it?
....
With the IDs from my local run?
...
I stare at the confirmation message: "Nice job dude, you just deleted some stuff. Cool. See ya. - Your old pal SQL Server".
What did I just delete? What ramifications will this have? Am I sweating? My life is over. Fuck! Think, think, think.
You're a professional. Handle it like one, goddammit.
I think about doing a rollback but the server dudes are even more incompetent than me and we'd lose all the transactions that occurred after my little slip. No, that won't fly.
I do the only sensible thing: I run the statements again with the correct IDs, disconnect my remote session, and BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP FOREVER.
I tell no one. The next few days I await some kind of bug report or maybe a SWAT team. Days pass. Nothing. My anxiety slowly dissipates. That fateful day fades into oblivion and I feel confident my secret will die with me. Cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯13 -
Does your article require me to click "next page" 8 times to read the whole article?
if yes, then fuck you.8 -
Revived my grandmas computer with Linux and she is happily using it without problems.
Today it was a good day.9 -
Client : we don't have a 404 page!
Co-worker : I'll make one
Now we get one everytime we click on something
Co-worker : oopsie5 -
How is it possible that i remember fluently my aliases, shortcuts in vim, bindings in i3wm and yet forget the name of the person that was introduced to me 5 minutes ago.12
-
Got assignment that needs to be written in C.
I write mostly Python.
It's ok i got it.
*after 5mins*
WHY THIS SHIT DOESNT FUCKIN WORK.
ah shit, i need to declare the variables.8 -
Motherfucker.
After about six hours of debugging I finally figured out that the error I'm getting is happening CLIENT SIDE AND NOT FUCKING SERVER SIDE. Yes, I've been debugging everything on the SERVER SIDE.
MOTHERFUCKING FUCK.FML.9 -
Got the laptop from the job.
Sadly we will develop in .net and angular.
Machine has windows and i can't use them but whatever it's a job so i have to adapt.
Turned up the machine, needed 30mins to set it up.
Meh. I miss my vim and i3wm.
HELP
8 -
Today we moved to a new office in the next building.
It is a very big upgrade, since it is bigger and nicer.
So I ask where the bathroom is and go in the direction told, and the bathroom is so nice! Huge mirror, everything is clean and new.
On the way out I find that it was the girls bathroom....16 -
I would really like to use Atom. If it managed to start earlier than a woman getting ready for a date.11
-
When i said that i use Linux, 3/4 of the class stared at me like i have a mental problem.
Then i said that i use duckduckgo and they stared at me like i was really retarded.
The sad part is that i'm in computer science department and my colleagues have not any clue about anything else than microsoft/google.12 -
GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT
I WILL FUCKIN KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKING THROAT.
Programming Languages and Linux groups in facebook are a fuckin pain to watch.
Some people make groups so all can benefit and help each other, talk about mutual interests, BUT NO SOME FUCKERS WILL SPAM SHIT AND MAKE YOU WANNA SMACK THEIR FUCKIN HEAD.
THERE IS A FUCKIN FAQ SECTION THAT ANSWERS ALL THE FUCKIN NEWBIE QUESTIONS. WHY THE FUCKIN HELL YOU SPAM IF YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN CLUE WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE DOING?
You come to a python group and ask if it's possible to get context from a site. I'M NOT MENTIONING THE FUCKIN FACT THAT THIS IS A SIMPLY FUCKIN QUERY TO A SEARCH ENGINE ALSO IT'S MENTIONED IN THE FUCKIN FAQ. Let's move on. We tell you yes, there is BeautifulSoup for that. After 5 fuckin mins YOU COME AND MAKE A NEW POST THAT SHOWS YOU CANT FUCKIN ITERATE A GODDAMN FUCKIN LIST. I'm not pro either, i don't forbid you to learn, BUT FUCKIN LEARN THE BASICS THAT ARE PROVIDED TO YOU FROM GREAT FUCKIN RESOURCES BEFORE TRYING TO ATTEMPT SOMETHING MORE COMPLICATED. AND IF YOU NEED HELP PROVIDE CODE THAT WE CAN USE. NOT A FUCKIN PHOTOGRAPH FROM YOUR MOBILE
Let's go on the Linux groups.
SINCE YOU FUCKIN JOIN A LINUX GROUP YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS LINUX. IT'S A FUCKIN OPERATING SYSTEM RIGHT?
Then you spam shit like, UBUNTU OR MINT 5 MINUTES AFTER SOMEONE ELSE MADE THE SAME VERY QUESTION 30 MINS AGO. WHICH WAS ANSWERED AGAIN YESTERDAY.
"What are the benefits of Linux". NONE YOU TWAT, IF YOU NEED ME TO TELL YOU THE BENEFITS OF THE SYSTEM THAT YOU USE THEN WHY THE HELL YOU BOTHER.
Next.
You say you have problems setting up XAMPP. We tell you that since you are on linux better use LAMP. You ignore us and spam your fuckin problem with XAMPP. IM GONNA FIND YOU AND IM GONNA MAKE YOU CHEW MY FUCKIN SHOES YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
I'm not even mentioning the kali wannabe hackers.
Conclusion:
DO A FUCKIN SMALL RESEARCH BEFORE SPAMMING THE SHIT OUT OF STUPID FUCKIN QUESTIONS. AND IF YOU CANT EVEN SEARCH, LEARN TO ASK IN ENGLISH THAT IS FUCKIN UNDERSTANDABLE SO SOMEONE CAN GUIDE YOU ABOUT WHAT YOU SHOULD SEARCH
OH FUCKIN GAWD IM GONNA THROW MY LAPTOP OUT OF THE WINDOW9 -
Dear Whatsapp.
FUCK YOU
When i sit on my computer and use the web application, it means I WANT TO USE WHATSAPP ON MY FUCKING PC. If i wanted to use my mobile, i would DO IT. BUT I DON'T, SO I USE MY FUCKING PC. So don't fuckin tell me to connect my telephone to the internet so i can use your fuckin web application. I ALREADY GOT A HEADACHE FROM THE DOUBLED NOTIFICATIONS.9 -
NO JIMMY.
YOUR 45 IF/ELIF STATEMENTS ARENT FUCKIN A.I.
NOR ARE YOUR 25 METHODS THAT RETURN A STRING A FUCKIN BLOCKCHAIN
STOP FUCKIN USING EVERYWHERE THOSE FUCKIN WORDS
FUCK OFF4 -
Saw a girl from my uni upload a photo of her graduation with the following text:
while(!(succeed = try()));
I'm staring at it for 5 mins and i can't figure out if i'm retarded and should drop out of uni or that statement doesn't make sense.73 -
I'm done with this fuckin shit.
Why it doesnt even work.
Fuck it. I will look at it tomorrow.
*after 5 mins*
opens terminal, editor:
- o boi, let's go again3 -
FUCK WEB DEVELOPMENT.
Seriously, what the hell. Things evolve so goddamn fast and someone new to the field can’t even grab something to start with. Once you start understanding something it fuckin changes and something else takes it’s place.
Fuck this shit, I’m out.17 -
Ahem ahem.
*clears throat*
Front end bois, listen that carefully.
YOU DONT FUCKIN TELL THE BACKEND HOW TO ACCEPT REQUESTS.
Backend creates the fuckin methods, the parameters and the responses, AND YOU FUCKIN ADAPT TO IT.
This guy at my work, we are both from Uni but i picked backend because i suck at frontend and i like using backend languages, sends me a message and tells me he can't make the project work.
At this time i have almost finished my part, i have made the method, have checked that they work, and i closed the work computer.
And now he tells me he wants to make a GET request instead of POST. LISTEN HERE MOTHERFUCKER. The methods are ready, adapt to them and shut the fuck up.
And before you tell me some methods don't work, make fuckin sure your part is correct because if i boot up the work laptop again to check why the method you have told me doesn't work, and it still does the job it was intented to do but you can't fix your part, i will fuckin cut your throat.
Sucker.
I do my part, and have to study for uni exams, since you don't have to because you have passed them, do your self a favor and fuckin learn to do things.
It's not my fault that i got experience on my own while you were just only doing our uni retarded projects and didn't bother to learn anything on your own.
I don't mean by any needs that i'm better than you but fuckin accept that i have learned something else that you have not and i would like to share the knowledge with you since you didn't bother.14 -
Probably the first time I ever saw a picture of a semi-naked girl on a screen and had a moment to myself.
Oh, that's not what you meant by "exposure"?2 -
Messing around with twitter4j and accidentally got my account locked because a simple typo made me favorite 2k+ tweets in under a few seconds. Oops.3
-
Someone saw that i didn't use mouse while typing code and asked me how do i do that and i told him that i just use vim. He didn't know what it is and i told him some things that it has a learning curve and stuff and he told me that he will definetely look into it.
Come to the dark side kid.6 -
So I had my headphones on programming when I get a tap on my shoulder... instead of saying it in my head, "for fuck sakes" came rolling out of my mouth to our HR lady. She wasn't pleased. 😂🔫6
-
Keep your computers and laptops clean you disgusting fucks.
Went to my boss’s office to leave a document and when i saw his laptop i almost vomited.6 -
Forgive me Father for I have sinned.
I pushed a half a dozen powershell scripts to a public repo, one of which contained the plain text user and password to our sendgrid test account. Which was apparently noticed by sendgrid, who promptly disabled all of our accounts, and interupting our prod communications domain 😐6 -
THE NEXT FUCKIN TIME I SEE SOMEONE SAY "hay, how do loop python PLZ HELP" instead of asking a goddamn search engine IM GONNA FIND YOU AND SLIP YOUR FUCKIN THROAT WHILE I KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKIN RIBS WITH ALL MY POWER AND SLOWLY DRINK MY COFFEE AFTER THAT.4
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FUCK NODEJS
FUCK NPM
FUCK ANGULAR
FUCK ALL THOSE FUCKIN PACKAGES
FUCK THIS PILE OF CRAP MAKING ME WASTE MY TIME14 -
Have you ever pushed out a crap update? What's the most expensive system you've ever brought down?
Today I took down a $0.7M system with an uppercase "S" in a string.10 -
Cleaned up my Facebook timeline.. I actually posted a “there are 10 types of people..” joke back in 2011..
Shame on me...5 -
Dear Teacher.
Thank you for forcing me to use a windows computer for your lecture, even though i have told you that i don't have any windows machine.
Thank you for forcing me use 3DS max for your simple fuckin trash that needs 20 minutes of work, whilst i could have used gladly Blender.
Thank you for making me deal with that shit that i won't touch again in my life again just because you teach a simple lecture that isn't cleary for computer science which i and many people study, but for people who deal with graphics.
What more joyful i would have done rather than downloading 8GB of software to use once in my life
Thank you, you piece of shit.13 -
> 50ggi
> why it inserted "50ggi" in my current line? whats wrong with you
> ah im not in vim
> shit5 -
That moment when you realise you just pushed a major bug whilst fixing another to the production website that launched earlier today.
Rolled back to working version, all within 30 seconds.
10 seconds later, client on phone... I just tried to load a page, why is my website broken?
They had to be loading it in that 30 seconds didn't they...?3 -
Investigating a "bug"(turned out to be user error) on the production servers, accidently wiped out the permissions for 1,800 users.
Thankfully was able to recover them in under 10min. God bless a solid disaster recovery policy.1 -
Things you shouldn’t be:
1. Racist
2. That guy that interrupts the person next to him while he is trying to write code every 2 fucking minutes and asks dumb and meaningless questions4 -
Basic OOPS Question -
A unit of computer information that contains data as well as all the procedures or operations is called:
(1) A method.
(2) Encapsulation.
(3) An object.
(4) An OOP
(5) None of these
This question is a bit confusing to me.. what do you guys think? 🙄20 -
Bot spends 30 minutes collecting data
I forgot to add a W to the file open call in python
Data gone.
Fuck.2 -
I fuckin love i3wm.
Especially on laptops. Not having to carry mouse around and being it so light, which saves you a lot of battery alongside with cpu/ram makes me wanna cry out of joy.2 -
My patience limits are huge but our product manager seems that likes to stretch them.
You piece of fuckin shit. You ask for feature A and we agree on the way we will do it. Good. Half way you want to change it's behavior.
Fine, i accept that. Let's move on.
I'm close to finish it and you come and say let's add more on that feature and make it more complicated. I can't say anything, just fine and let me work on it.
Then you and the senior dev that "helps" us don't come to 2 meetings and just communicate via emails.
And then, then you fuckin scums tell me that is unacceptable that i haven't finished it and it doesn't work?
I used my uni time and missed lessons to work on your shitty feature and that you just yell at me?
What about comming to the fuckin meetings so we can discuss what problems occured and how i can overcome them, you sucker?
Just because our boss complained to you that the product is late because of you, that doesn't give you the right to yell at me, you piece of shit.
And the next time you tell me that you pulled the repository and it doesn't work while it does on everyone else i will come and shove your laptop up to your ass.2 -
Jesus, using vim in browser is such a beautiful thing, thought it's pointless.
Also, FUCK managers/bosses that change their technologies for no fuckin reason.
I didn't spend 1+ month to learn .NET core, which is a fine piece of tech and you suddenly come and say that we should move to PHP because the new guys you hired are PHP devs and don't know a single line of .NET.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK.
TAKE YOUR PHP AND SHOVE IT UP TO YOUR ASS.10 -
Seems VISA credit cards have a problem today and i lost some money from my account.
Decided to go full arch on desktop so i don't think about it.
I finished.
That's what installing arch looks like:
3 -
> goes to amazon
> finds fluent python book
> wants to order it
> shipping costs almost the same with the book
> cries.7 -
Things to do while you encounter a bug and haven't resolved in some hours:
- Leave it and get clean air so your brain relaxes.
What i do:
- Stay there trying to figure out why the fuck this shit doesn't work and considering falling from the window a very good option1 -
One of the best disappointments i get is when i create something from scratch, feeling good because i accomplished what i needed and then i find that there is a module that does this in 3 lines.2
-
Forget the people that don't use tests.
If you are a guy that doesn't even use error handling,
F U C K Y O U
I can't move on my tasks because the fucker doesn't have any error handling and he is absent so i have to fix them.
fucker.2 -
// First rant
currentUser.Post(new Rant("
Quick question here, not a rant (sorry).
I heard that you need a lot of math knowledge to become a developer. Is this really true? I don't see where the math comes into play while programming (especially complex stuff). I've been studying C# for quite some time (few years) and I consider myself fairly good at it.
Never came across the need to use !basic mathematics in my projects.
I know that to study computer science at an university requires a certain result in maths, but is that all you need math for? Getting into uni?
Could somebody explain this for me? I'd really appreciate it.", "maths,university"));14 -
Baaaahhhhh!!! I just stepped on my UPS power button and killed my machine after spending considerable time working out the plan for a new tool to add to our system.5
-
I have a habit of leaving random TODOs in random files of projects I work on. Then, when I come back to work on the projects I display a list of all TODOs and try to implement them only to find out that I already implemented everything and forgot to delete the TODOs, on the positive side I feel like I accomplished a lot without actually doing anything 😂😂😂
-
Finally installed Arch on my laptop. (For the second time this month because I accidentally broke it...)2
-
> be me
> i'm a junior dev
> i use C# at work
> frontend guy left
> now i use C# and Angular
> boss hired a data analyst
> data analyst created R script for his work
> implement this script to our services
> script doesn't work
> i have no idea of R
> i need to fix it
> pleashelp.png11 -
Woops! I was debugging a particularly snarky issue in Production the other day. This morning I realized about 60 minutes into my new coding I hadn't changed my profile back. I was testing form submissions on a live customer's site.2
-
Make. Fucking. Backups...
I had to find a MailChimp sync plugin for a webshop and thought I found a good one that synced one way (webshop to MailChimp).
I figured, meh, what could go wrong? So I installed it, ran it...and somehow lost around 4000 mailinglist receipients because they were not in the webshop.
Turns out it adds the registered users in the webshop, but also removes entries that are not! Needless to say, I had some explaining to do and was only able to recover about 3000 addresses from a previously sent campaign.
Customer was not happy, neither was my boss, very important lesson learned...1 -
I love opening emails in the morning and seeing “hey in 5h we will have a presentation about our project can you add 2 more features before that?”3
-
> you are a teacher at a university
> you are supposed to teach advanced things to students
> your slides are screenshots of the book that you told us to get
> you sit at the desk and just read the slides
> you don't even try to win student's attention
> students prefer not to come to your lectures
> you wonder why a lot of people fail your subject
> WADAFAK
> ??????????3 -
That awkward moment...
... when someone tells you that they have found an amazing technique for a common problem and you are like:
"erhm... I was already using that for years... I thought you knew it too..."1 -
Do i like stickers? I do.
Does that mean that I consider myself a pro? No
I just like them.
So fuck you assuming things that don’t make any fucking sense.1 -
Why people are saying Python is an easy language? I mean yes, if you write c/java code with python it may seem easy, but writing proper python code, in a pythonic way is not so easy.
SO DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT'S IT EASY LANGUAGE because new commers later they come with absurd code and ask people to fix it.9 -
That moment when you are scrolling through DevRant and see a post you like, go to dubble tap it and then realize that you posted it...... Oops...
-
I feel sorry for my teacher. Seeing him desperated to get simple programming answers from his students seems unreachable and I don’t want to be the only one that answers his questions1
-
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT
GO FIX YOUR FUCKIN C# METHODS
Language felt good but jesus fuckin christ.
HOW YOUR File.Exists() can be so retarded jesus fuckin christ
I mean god, how retarded can it be when i obtain the current directory with your builtin method (System.Environment.CurrentDirectory) attach to it the directory name with the images i need and I ALWAYS GET FALSE ABOUT ITEMS THAT ARE FUCKIN THERE.
Fix your fuckin encodings too, suckers.6 -
GODFUCKINDAMMIT.
The subject you fuckin teach is networks, not fuckin C programming.
Why the hell am i supposed to make your multithreaded client/server in fuckin C.
Youpieceofshit.4 -
Microsoft's new dialog messages in their software are pretty annoying. "Want to save your changes?". "Oops, something went wrong!". "Your PC ran into a problem it couldn't handle...".
I feel these messages are unprofessionally written and that they lower the bar for acceptable computer (and English) literacy in this day and age.
Its not like I think they should give a stack trace everytime something happens but just don't dumb it down any more!8 -
Been wondering lately. Do Python devs use type hinting? Shall i start implementing it?
I find it this way, a bit more clear about what the method is doing9 -
FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT11
-
So like a couple days ago I was trying to clear the Var directory of my Symfony project.
I wrote
cd /var
rm ./* -R
Linux: are you sure you want to delete write protected blah blah blah?
Me:AHA! SO ITS A PERMISSIONS ISSUE
sudo rm ./* -R
Quickly realized I was no longer in my project directory.
Took a fat L. Had to reinstall.2 -
So a guy trying to convince me that vim is bad, just told me that jetbrains is better than vim, which he accused as dead software, because the jetbrains website is better than vim website.5
-
Setting up nextcloud on a raspberry pi taught me more than 1 semester of networks/system administration course in university. This is sad.6
-
Making the needed actions to install Manjaro:
3 mins
Making the needed actions to disable fast boot and all these crap:
20 mins
FUCK YOU WINDOWS
YOU ARE NOT FUCKIN SUPPOSED TO LOCK THE MACHINE TO YOUR FUCKIN OS
IF SOMEONE WANTS TO USE IT FINE
BUT DON'T MAKE OTHERS WASTE THEIR FUCKIN TIME DISABLING YOUR FUCKIN SHIT
I BOOTED IN YOUR OS AND THAT SHIT WAS SLOW AS FUCK
JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST9 -
Writes rant, accidentally refreshes page...
.
.
.
Writes lazy rant instead.
(Was a good one aswell but im less stressed about it now :p)3 -
Thought about playing a bit today.
Booted windows. Got 2 bsod in 5 mins.
Wiped out windows from hdd.
This was the last step of my "gaming" era.2 -
Came to my parents house for the vacation period and forgot to push the code i was working on my computer. Now i sit with my laptop crying.4
-
Dear Facebook.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CUNTS.
The next time you upgrade your piece of shit application on iOS and remove stuff from their place which makes me search all the way your crap battery vacuum application until i fuckin find it i will come to your office find that dumb zuckerberk and push the fuckin chair he sits at down to his throat.
Same goes for your retarded website.
Suckers.1 -
Why didn't i use 2880x1620 resolution on my zenbook before?
Jesus it feels that i got so much more space and and it's pretty awesome
tmux + i3wm feels even more awesome4 -
When life gives you class, make as much objects as possible so that there is a memory leak in the system...2
-
Finished exams, in 3 days i have a flight to my parents house to see them.
Before that, thought about comming to my grandma's home, which has a beach nearby so i can spend 1-2 days relaxing.
Came here. No one is home. I don't have keys either. I'm hungry too.
Fortunately the wifi signal is ok.
Sat in front of the door, and opened my laptop.
Time to start migrating my projects from duck to static typing and practising my ability to write python code with type annotations until someone comes home.3 -
My friend alfred who is a C# programmer, has got a threatening letter from some feminists. Apparently he's treating women as "objects" recently. :/3
-
So my colleague sees an iPad on a desk that someone has left by accident. He puts in the wrong password a bunch of times to lock it for an hour as a joke and accidentally wipes it!! Turns out it was about to be used for end of sprint client demo 😂2
-
We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.
Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies1 -
Me and one teacher i got, both Linux enthusiasts, decided that we should create an open source community and spread the word to other students, teachers and stuff from the university about Linux and open source in general.
First meeting went well, we got quite an attendance, people seemed curious and willing to learn.
Second meeting is tomorrow, and we decided to show them some Linux distributions and DE.
Guess what, we can’t decide what to show them.
He is a pure Debian lover, i use both Debian and Arch.
He insisted on Mint since he didn’t want to scare them with Debian.
I said that we could show them Manjaro.
So what do we do?7 -
WHY THE FUCK THE NEED TO USE Visual Studio.
Well, in my university, for some fuckin dumb reason we are taught to develop a simple fuckin web form in asp.net.
Thing is, VS is so fuckin powerful that it's a huge overkill for such a simple thing. What is even worse is that, WE DONT FUCKIN EVEN CODE IN C# we just drag FUCKIN COMPONENTS HERE AND THERE without learning a single thing
But okay let's move on. I'm a linux guy, which mean, I CANT FUCKIN USE VS AND CANT EVEN PRACTICE THOSE DUMB SHITS and that means i won't fuckin remember a single thing.
FUCK THIS SHIT6 -
WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Are you trying to tell me that 'oops that C written Javascript library just crashed by a WTFCrash within a Java VM'?
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...
5 -
I have a course at my university about personal data and it feels more than a law course than a computer science one. I asked the teacher why do we have to be taught that subject and how would we be able to use what we learn in real life and she got triggered, telling me that with just by coding I won’t achieve anything and i have to learn more topics and if I didn’t want to be taught this subject why did i choose the university.
I just made a question you fuckin butthurt, chill the fuck out.3 -
What do you think on people choosing a specific language just because of the language's job salaries? Do you believe people should choose languages based on that criteria?8
-
C++. Damn the pointers. It's because I learned Java before C++ and the memory management in C++. I don't get it ever, the object creation, memory allocation, deallocation and everything6
-
I hope one day i will stop writing dirty code to achieve a task, forget to refactor it and then struggle to use correct names for variables and methods when i need to move on other tasks.
-
When i was a kid i used to rage a lot. Past years i stopped and i became a very calm person. Even if i have to deal with jerks, i just ignore them and don’t get angry. And that’s the reason I can’t write rage stories 😒
-
Thinggs to consider before adding non english letters/words to your url patterns:
1. Don't do it, you won't have a good time.6 -
No matter who you are and if i know you, seeing you having nerd stickers on your laptop, especially Linux ones, makes you my buddy.
-
Thought getting a mechanical keyboard would be a good choice. Now i enjoy more using my laptop for coding than my main computer, because of the headache i get. Gotta get new keyboard.4
-
That moment when you're connected to a server to adapt a setting in the SSH service config and it errors into your face when you attempt to reload it.
Schrödinger's SHell 😰1 -
Not totally dev related but a (long-ish) rant all the same.
I tend to find myself in leadership positions in many situations despite myself not thinking I'm very fit for it. In my latest (volunteer) role I've learned that being a community leader is really tough. Mostly because the community is far more judgemental than they would be of me if I was their equal. In reality I am their equal but I guess it's hard to see that given my role.
Anyway, I said something I shouldn't have on the community communication platform and it ended up looking bad for my entire team. Everyone saw it and several made a huge deal out of it and I feel absolutely miserable.
I thought about stepping down because this is not the first time I or my team have been attacked. But if anything this is just one big learning experience so that I can be a better leader in the future. I'll ride this storm out and be a better man because of it.
But damn is it stressful.1 -
Yo vim what the fuckin fuck.
I like vim, i try to use it as much as possible since i feel more confident with just using a keyboard BUT WHAT THE FUCK.
I am developing an application to improve my python skills and I chose vim to do so. I made some “big” changes today to it using vim. Every time i made a change that i had to test, i was saving it with :w and then running it on my second screen. All good until now.
Then i wanted to make a minor change using vscode because i thought it will be easier there. Anyway, i used :x, opened vscode AND MY CHANGES WERE REVERTED to the first condition my file was when I opened it today.
Vim is awesome, maybe it was all my bad, but how the hell did that even happen?2 -
I’m 20, but i use vim, not because i feel superior or more clever than others. At first i hated it but by the time i said im gonna learn using that sucker which i did. I’m writing Python and thought maybe by using vim i add nonsense complex to my life. Tried atom which i was using before. After 10 minutes i gave up and opened vim.4
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A colleague figured he would fix our performance issues by replacing .Count() > 0 statements with .Any()
Perfect idea, except he just did a replace all.
But hey,
var totalCount = items.Any();
Might have its uses. -
bae: hey,do you know where did the word 'oops' came from?
me: object oriented programming? 😋
bae: no, its from the noises that we naturally make when we slice our palm with the Night Cheese knife 😝
me:(quick search on the stack exchange app meanwhile) 😑 it's an alteration of upsy-daisy blah blah
and then she's like GOOD NIGHT!
😂😂 -
I hope my boss learned his lesson: dd if=/dev/zero of=[hdd storing DB about VM cluster]
- is a very very bad idea...10 -
Technical typos that make me laugh:
- Fill stack developer
- Knowledge of Jason and ajaz
- CSS and saas
- Angular / view / reaction Java skills2 -
The best thing about getting used to vim is typing something in a website, finishing it, pressing ctrl+[ losing what you have just typed and re writring it.
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Hello Apple. Let me tell you something.
Even though i like your phones. I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO FUCKIN KILL YOU FOR YOUR HEADPHONES.
It's unbelievable you cock suckers, evey time the same shit happens.
WHY THE FUCK YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AFTER 3-4 MONTHS START TO BEHAVE LIKE THEY ARE FUCKIN RETARDED.
1st headphones, they started changing songs randomly. That was back when i had iphone6.
It's ok i said, happens. Then i bought the iphone 7 and the headphones started behaving like that after some months. Again. Didn't say anything, i still liked them. So i went to buy the same headphones but for iphone6, with the 3.5mm jack. AND NOW THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKIN HEADPHONES AND YOUR FUCKIN 200€ HEADPHONES. COCKSUCKERS.
So, anyone knows any good quality headphones?
FUCK YOU APPLE.2 -
Polymorphism (Object Oriented) explained:
Father: Son, go and get Red Label.
Son: Full or Half?
2) Mother: Son, go and get Red Label.
Son: 100g or 250g? -
When you accidentally "-1" a rant the previous night and then have to give it a guilt "+1" when you realise
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“Why do you hate windows”
because this retarted os failed to boot today, i went to recovery mode and it automatically put windows boot manager above grub
FUCK YOU1 -
Try to avoid writing code that just works because one day some of your colleagues will have to refactor all of it and changing 70 files aint something someone would enjoy doing.1
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Talk and teach about FOSS software to students and not force them to learn a specific tool or language for a task .2
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- Hey, could you help me understanding your method? I'm trying here to implement it on my side but it doesn't work
- I'm not at home right now and don't remember the code i wrote. I will look at it when i get back home
- Ye but can you explain it briefly?
- I JUST FUCKIN TOLD YOU I DONT REMEMBER IT EXACTLY, I AM NOT AT HOME AND I DON'T FUCKIN HAVE THE COMPUTER WITH ME. WHAT HE FUCK WAS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?2 -
Fuck you facebook
Fuck you zuckerberg and your dumb support.
Your fuckin shitty platfoem became even more garbage. You ban accounts for no fuckin reason. People reporting accounts continuously for posts that are in a closed group that the first thing the group description declares that if you feel offended you should just leave and the posr are jokes.
And fuck your support too for not fuckin being helpful while you explain to them that you are targered.
Fuck you, seriously, people can’t even take a joke and you fuckin support them.
I hope your trash platform dies.1 -
i had to write some js and css / html for a small project that i work on Django.
GODDAMIT I FUCKIN HATE IT MY HEAD HURTS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
FUCK IT
LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY GOD LOVELY PYTHON
OR ANY BACKEND LAGNUAGE(except php of course)
jesus christ i almost threw the goddamn pc out of the window.
fuck front end.11 -
ASUS thanks for putting the power off button on the top side of the backspace. I mean what could go possibly wrong you fuckin fucks!1
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Not much of a rant, just laughing at myself. Typed in docker run android instead of cordova run android and sat there waiting for a minute or 2 😂
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WOOOOH I HAVE BEEN GIVEN WORK.
.
.
.
.
Think I offended people cos I already finished it and when I got given it i said "Is this it?".
.....AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER TOLD ME TO DO A LOOP IN SQL TO UPDATE A TABLE. I'LL CUT OFF ALL PARTS OF HIM -
if you ask me how the method i wrote works because you don't understand it, and you don't let me finish my sentences without interrupting me, then you deserve to be punched.
LET ME FINISH WHAT I HAVE TO SAY YOU DUMB SHIT
I WROTE THAT FUCKIN METHOD
I KNOW WHAT IT DOES AND WHY -
To the developers that still use flash player for their games, fuck you.
My grandma wants to play some games and i can't fuckin make it work since your piece of shit games still use that piece of shit flash that in 2 years will be dropped fuckin scumbags. And now i'm trying to find a way either to explain to her how retarded you are or find a browser that supports this piece of shit.2 -
Worse than seeing people that are not familiar with vim trying to exit it, is people that want to save a file and press Ctrl + S7
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Sitting listening to music, thinking about some feautures that i could code for practising my code skills.
Phone rings, a girl that i know asks me if she could say at my place.
Can't deny, i said whenever she needs help i can provide it.
My git pushes are delayed for tomorrow.
Sorry for betraying you Vim.1 -
The day when you wake up and realize you have committed to building a ecommerce solution, crm & a form management system.1
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Ran a query on a prod server for 50 minutes before realizing I forgot to put my exclusions in the results... Oops.... New query runs in 1.5min. 4500 rows from the potential 340k rows.2
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During my recent interview I was explaining what I liked about the company, going in to detail about how I respected the CIO as he, as a software engineer, ran his ops teams like he runs a development team.
When I got home I realized my story wasn't about the CIO of the company but about Benjamin Treynor Sloss, VP Google Engineering, founder of Google SRE.
I had been reading the Google SRE book the night before and completely mixed up my stories!
I wonder if it was in part why I didn't get the job...1 -
Me: How to use those retarded promises in typescript
Every result on internet: 20 pages article. Let me introduce you to angular, first you install npm and node then you create a project, name it whatever you want, then we create a file.
Promises motherfucker, how those work? Can you simply write about that?4 -
1 of the many windows rants i will make since i have to use that on work's laptop.
Let's start.
20GB for an IDE? what a joke.
Seriously MS. Are you fucking retarded? You have a fuckin retarded windows store, and i need to open it 3 times for it to be functional? Fuck you.
I want to change the default browser. YES I FUCKIN WANT TO CHANGE IT, STOP FUCKIN ASKING ME 500 TIMES IF I'M SURE ABOUT IT AND DO THE THING I TOLD YOU TO DO. Fuck you.
2GB on startup? Thanks, appreciated. Miss my 250MB on my linux laptop. FUCK YOU.
Did i fuckin tell you i want to sync the onedrive? I clicked that shit to disable it and you decided to sync the fuck out of it? Fuck you.
Candy crash and other retarded games? LOL, can't say anything. The laptop is from the job, i won't bother uninstalling that shit. In any case MS would reinstall them again. Fuck you.
Fans at 100% for no reason and battery draining like it's a cold drink that drinks someone who is thirsty? Thanks MS, very helpful. Fuck you.
Powershell? Well i leave that. Whenever i remember how slow it is i want to throw the laptop of the window. Fuck you.
Notifications? Thanks, it's very good thing to spam them for no fucking reason. Fuck you.
Skype? Who the fuck told you to install it? Fuck you.
Well i won't say anything about their fuckin updates. Every one knows how retarded and piece of shit they are.3 -
Apple's thoghts: it's better to create shortcuts using the new ios12 app to turn on/off completely wifi/bluetooth rather than selecting it from control center like it was supposed to function
10000 IQ3 -
That feeling when you type out a hilarious response to someone's rant on DevRant, written with meticulous code styling, and then you realise formatting is ignored!
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Just wasted 3 hours because i was manipulating the context dictionary in django of a different view that i was actually checking.
When you see there is no answer to whatever you search, move back and go for a walk.
This shit drove me nuts.
Now i need my brain to calm down.
Still wondering why my mom thinks i'm a clever guy. -
About a year ago when I started at my apprenticeship I was asked to turn on the plugins for our ecommerce websites... I clicked uploaded price on the 3 websites and 2 ebay stores by accident.... That took a week of going though and changing all the prices back to what they should have been
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I don't know how post works in other countries, but seems the most retarded way to work is in mine.
When an item you have ordered arrives to local post(no ups, acs) the post sends you a small paper that says that you can go and pick the thing you have ordered.
So today i come home from a morning meeting about a programming job as a university student, which made me feel good and see that paper has arrived. The item i ordered is a programming book.
Well, getting excited since i waited about 2 weeks, i get it and go to the post office. After waiting almost 1 hour my turn comes. I go to pick it and the employee tells me COME TOMORROW TO PICK IT UP.
YO
YOU FUCKIN SUCKERS, IF IT'S MEANT TO GET IT TOMORROW DONT FUCKIN SEND ME THAT FUCKIN PAPER WHICH WRITES THAT MY FUCKIN ORDER ARRIVED TODAY.
LOSING MY TIME BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKIN RETARDED AND THE SAME WILL HAPPEN TOMORROW. AUTISTIC FUCKS. I'M GONNA GET THAT FUCKIN BOOK AND SMASH YOUR HEAD WITH IT -
Thanks god bash scripting exists.
Saved my time from running manually a C program with input files to check the output that would take me at least 1H.1 -
Released the product to customers without realising someone had pre-filled a production test accounted login at the login screen. Obviously it was used for testing purposes and the dev forgot to remove it before committing.
I loled when I found out about it, and some customers started to login and made transactions.
When I checked the commit history... It was under my name :/3 -
Nothing like IT you're using actually being competent after you broke something (or more accurately pulling a pin that you didn't realize would blow up in your face).
Was dealing with a issue in the learning management system, decided to check a checkbox, ended up with every student receiving 1000% in the class. Went to our LMS support, said "oops I broke it", and they resolved it in 2 hours, and did what I was hoping for at the end anyways.1 -
Using API to get todays weather.
The value i get is 293.some other decimals.
Well, i guess i have to manipulate that float.
Converting it to string, moving the dot and convert it again to float so i can have the number in a form i need it, which is 29.decimals.
Hm...
Re reading the docs, and i find out the value is in Kelvin.
FUCKIN KELVIN
WHO THE FUCK USES KELVIN3 -
What keyboards do you use?
Well atm i use a cheap mechanic keyboard which i got since my last one died. I can afford a new one and looking for options. I prefer tenkeyless keyboards. What do you use? Mechanic? Slim? Anyone uses mac keyboard with linux? Any suggestions would be very helpful.7 -
Exams are done, i passed some subjects that made me almost drop out.
Felt good. Now if i manage to do well again in exams i may finish the uni on time.
And now here it comes. One of my professors saw that i was coding my self in contrast of the 90% of other students, and with 2 more guys from my year, suggested us to his friend that owns a company, so we could work there.
I went there, talked about the team and the product we have to do and it seems that for now the only developers are me and 1 more girl and 1 more guy, all new commers, not even juniors.
Shiet. The team told us not to be worried since they will be our instructors and help us out and if we need more help they will hire a senior dev.
Not sure how i should react to that.
I do that mostly for experience so i can leave the country when im done with uni to go to estonia holland or finland.
One more thing, we still don't know what languages we will use and even though i told them that im pretty good with python they seem not to consider it at all. I'm the only one of the juniors that has actually made projects and coded on his own, not with university projects.
Also so that all other employees use windows machines.
Sad.
Hope all that goes well.1 -
Fuckin twats at Nike.
How the fuck did you manage to accept a non existent email as a valid email for the fuckin accounts you suckers
Last 2 runs were unable to sync so i had to logout before seeing that the account mail i used when i created the account has a misspelling which I didn’t notice until now but yet, the account was created.
Suckers i lost all my runs the last years which were about 300+ K km.1 -
The Java lead thinks only his team has the secret knowledge of UML, and the authority to use diagrams.
(sigh) we work on JavaScript. -
My housemate (we are college students) once said he was finding it weird his name wasn't in the list of students to take the exam of a programming subject he had but he couldnt find a reason to explain it.
A few days later he came into my room frustrated as hell but laughing at the same time. "I have to stop taking headphones to class... I've figured it out. I failed already for being absent because when the teacher registered the students present I had my headphones on e every time and couldn't hear him..." 😂😂😂 -
I'm absolutely confident that the message "processing" that i get the past 4 days about my order is very helpful, you fuckin twats.
WHERE THE HELL IS MY ORDER1 -
The fuckers that made my university’s website are absolutely fuckin trash. I’m trying to make a program that gets the page and creates lists with the names of professors and some more info and i fuckin can’t because they are retarded.
How bad can you be that you cant even fuckin create a simple html table with their fuckin names in it so when i scan it i fuckin get a name of a professor and an email of a different one attached to it. FUCK OFF2 -
Android studio is BIG PILE OF GARBAGE.
I waste my second day to install a fuckin emulator because that retarded thing tries to unzip it in fuckin /tmp, which it cant because it gets filled and then it fails.
It doesnt even consider my overwrite options to use a different /tmp directory
AH
FUCK
YOU -
for some reason twitter showed as the first trend the word epiphany and the first thing i thought about was the web browser.
Was pretty good and light but missed a lot of things.
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