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boss: please look into tools that do X.
fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!
boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.
fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...
[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?
fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!
F*@#! *%*#8 -
"Cricket Exchange App"
1Million downloads - 4.9* Rating
Was quiet interested
Installed and opened
And wtf is this?
17 -
Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:
- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.
- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.
- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.
- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?
- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.
- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.
*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.
and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.
- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.
... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.
Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.
And remember to always practiseSafeHex13 -
Thanks @dfox
As a junior,
This week's topic is giving a lot of best advises to me from other devs..2 -
“No we don’t use the time zone info you send on each request. We get all the drivers for the store ID, choose one of them randomly and take their time zone. We have been assuming it will always be the same for all drivers for each store.”
This is my new favorite response to a Jira ticket in this company.
I may have to print it out and hang it on my desk3 -
follow on from my last rant.
I've finally gotten my new Jira project. Only thing I seem to have access to change is the Kanban board columns. Still has 50+ fields when creating a ticket etc.
Asked the support team handling the request if this was a mistake. He said no, i'll need to open another ticket to have those changes requested.
Opened and got a reply. Currently there are 2 versions of Jira running. They are working on consolidating them atm and won't help me right now until this is done. I've been asked to re-open my request after the consolidation is done in March 2019.
5 ... fucking ... months, so I can have a competent ticketing process.
He pointed me to a page explaining the move and listing all the changes taking place. Well lets look at the changes they are making that are so critical:
Change 14: Rename "More info" status to "Needs more info".
... Oh pardon me. I didn't realise such critical show stoppers were being addressed. Please do continue. Don't mind me, i'll just be over here taking 4 hours to create an Epic and 6 stories. As you were9 -
Deciphering 10-20 jira tickets that relate to 1 feature which aren't linked in anyway beyond titles spread throughout an epic or 2.
Ah the pain of having to go through 200 tickets to find everything you need for a single feature.7 -
Me done fixing a bug.
Me commit the fix.
Me resolve issue in JIRA.
Few minutes later, Me receive a notification. QA reopened issue: "Bug is still there".
Me go have look to Jenkins.
Pissed off, Me respond to QA: "Can you just wait for Maven to finish building the goddamn thing before testing it please?"
Every. Fucking. Time8 -
Me: Wish I got one guilty free murder pass..
God: GRANTED! Which software tester would you like to kill?4 -
Do you want to really annoy the hell out of someone?
Prerequisites:
1. JIRA account for you
2. JIRA account for the victim
3. JIRA app on victim's phone
Instructions below:
1. Create a ticket and assign / add victim as watcher.
2. Open your favorite IDE or editor with any of your favorite projects with lots of files with minimal sizes.
3. Drag the folder and drop into JIRA ticket window.
4. Enjoy 😎
Don't ask me how I figured this out 😁6 -
QA : There is a bug, come at my desk now !
Me : I'm busy on some feature, can you make an issue on Jira I will fix it later.
QA : NO! It's a major issue
Me : Ok... I come.
* 3 hours later *
QA : I just created you the Jira you asked
Me : I told you, the bug is already fixed since 2 hours
QA : yeah but I will not test it until you mark the issue as done on Jira
.... Are you kidding me ??? So you interrupted me in my work two times for one stupid issue...4 -
Just got asked by our JIRA admin how to add in JIRA add-ons for our self hosted version.
... if you don't know why are you admin then!?3 -
PM: Hey listen, client sent us his feedback about the app that we need to fix, they wont take time.
Me: Sure no problem.
5 Minutes later:
*Receives email*
*checks email*
15 easy tasks that take not time to finish BUT they are put inside ONE FUCKING TASK ON JIRA! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT! 15 IN ONE YOU DUMB FUCK!
MOVE YOUR LAZY ASS AND WRITE EACH IN ITS OWN MOTHERFUCKING TASK!
Another reason on why I hate humans -_-2 -
I opened a ticket earlier with my automated ticket script, and saw its number, so I couldn't resist.
-
We have this incredible Jira system that allows anyone with half a brain to report anomalies, add some screenshots in it, a description, links, everything.
Then WHY THE FUCK would you add a fucking docx file in which there are 2 lines and one screenshot? What blocked you to add the fucking content of your docx shit to the fucking Jira?
I swear to god, some people should be medically forbidden to come close to a computer4 -
I'm a software developer. Last week I spent half a day teaching a "Senior Data Scientist" how to use git branches. I spent the other half a day teaching him how to use Jira. Now I'm being told that the dev team isn't raising enough Pull Requests. FML
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“You have a Jira?”
“You need a Jira, first”
“Open a Jira”
“You need a Jira for that too”
“That Jira is on the wrong board, plus you need to email _this_ form first”
Jira, Jira, Jira-fucking-jira, AAAHHHHHHHHHHH, STOP!
My job appears to be nothing more than an abstraction layer around Jira. A leaky abstraction11 -
After long time logged into windows desktop and dared to open internet explorer then I seen option
"What's New in Internet Explorer 8"
So I thought let's see what's new in IE8
When I clicked on that option, suddenly my CPU fan stopped working.
There was no connection between them,
But what a coincidence!
F***U IE:D2 -
Successfully wasted 4 hours then realised jQuery was not inserted..
jQuery inserted..
Bug Fixed.. o_O8 -
That moment you realise you spent the day skinning Jira to look like atoms material dark theme because a key system is down preventing testing😊
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JIRA Push Notification: [Task] Assigned to <PM>
JIRA Email: [Task] Assigned to <PM>
Hangouts: <PM> I removed that task from you.
5 minutes later at my desk: PM: "Did you see my hangouts? You don't need to do that task anymore."
1 -
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1 -
Ordered new mobile
..
Mobile delivered before expected date
..
Excited unboxed
..
Inserted sim tray in opposite side
..
Stucked
..
Fuckkkk10 -
I'm pretty fucking sure that if I were to quit my job, I'd have to gather the fucking requirements, create the fucking user stories, and then JIRA the ever-living fuck out of it before I could submit my fucking resignation.
I just want to write fucking code.3 -
JIRA 2017: "Too many emails? Download the JIRA app and get notifications on your phone instead!"
JIRA 2018: "Too many notifications?" -
Worst Jira ticket I've ever seen:
Title: "It looks f#?$ed"
Description: ""
This gem was opened by the project producer. When asked about it, it was just a mismatch in text margins. -
I find that no matter what I do I have roughly 50 issues assigned to me in Jira, so there's no point in working hard to clear em out. I'll never get to zero.2
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We use jira at my company. It's great for me, because no ticketing system's UI is worth a shit, but jira's API is excellent. But we're switching to a new system that is an absolute piece of garbage. Every page is 100% Javascript, so no source can ever be viewed, and the URL never changes to reflect what's onscreen. If you know a ticket number, no URL will ever get you straight to it. You have to navigate multiple slow-loading 25MB piles of Javascript to reach what you're seeking. And most damning of all: the new system has an API, but our highest management is withholding access to it, claiming it breeds laziness.
Is amazing the kind of shit you have to swallow when your management has regular meetings with really really super extremely good-looking sales people.10 -
And the award for the best ticket if all time goes to:
"Create script"
No open questions. Of you don't understand, are you really a dev?
In all seriousness, this thing was in the board for like 3 days and nobody raised any questions...11 -
Ever had a day that felt like you're shoveling snow from the driveway? In a blizzard? With thunderstorms & falling unicorns? Like you shovel away one m² & turn around and no footprints visible anymore? And snow built up to your neck?
Today my work day was like that.. xcept shit..shit instead of pretty & puffy snow!!
Working on things a & b, trying to not mess either one up, then comes shit x, coworker was updating production.. ofc something went wrong.. again not testing after the update..then me 'to da rescue'.. :/ hardly patch things up, so it works..in a way.. feature c still missing due to needed workarounds.. going back to a and b.. got disrupted by the same coworker who is nver listening, but always asking too much..
And when I think I finally have the b thing figured out a f-ing blocker from one of our biggest clients.. The whole system is unresponsive.. Needles to say, same guy in support for two companies (their end), so they filed the jira blocker with the wrong customer that doesn't have a SLA so no urgent emails..and then the phone calls.. and then the hell broke loose.. checking what is happening.. After frantic calls from our dba to anyone who even knows that our customer exists if they were doing sth on the db.. noup, not a single one was fucking with the prod db.. The hell! Materialised view created 10 mins ago that blocked everything..set to recreate every 10 minutes..with a query that I am guessing couldn't even select all that data in under 15.. dafaaaq?! Then we kill it..and again it is there.. We found out that customers dbas were testing something on live environment, oblivious that they mamaged to block the entire db..
FML, I'm going pokemon hunting.. :/ codename for ingress n beer..3 -
DevSup channel:
Someone: FYI, Db is down(ticket link)
Otherone: Can anyone help me connecting
with db? I am having issues.
I am so happy I am leaving this place in 2 months.... 😂😂1 -
Funny story:
We were going through Sprint Planning on Monday. We got through all of the tasks that we knew we had to get done, then we started going through the backlog to see what we could pull forward.
The guy running the meeting (who's not actually a Scrum master, but whatever) get's to a task, reads it aloud, and goes, "That doesn't ring any bells. Brian, it's in your name, it says it's from May, do you know what the status of this is?
Brian reads through it for about 20 seconds before saying, "That date says it's from 2017. I don't think we need it anymore."2 -
* get a good job *
* my room==my computer lab *
* iphone + vespa + sexy jacket *
* not died in terrorism * -
Hey devs, really need some help here. This is driving me crazy...
We're currently taking issues from the company via mail. We've got a group mail that goes to the three of us at the IT department. Problem is, colleagues just forward customers emails without event trying to help, which means that we get stupid issues like "I can't sign in", and no further information. We're currently using Jira, and I was thinking perhaps we can set up a Jira Service Desk? Then we could have an internal help desk where issues could be submitted, and require some important fields, and perhaps add a checklist. Have you had any experience with Service Desk? Do you think it would be a good idea to have a "normal" person have an account there as well to filter out the normal "Have you tried restarting your computer" stuff? Is it suited for non-developers?
Any other ideas?
Yeay, messy question, but I'm fucking desperate...6 -
2 months into my first dev job, everything looks like a Jira ticket now.
Mum: wash the dishes
Me: create a ticket for that... i estimate the story points to be 27 -
What's the use of implementing JIRA when you'll still demand sending daily reports with time duration for every task?!3
-
Google, Microsoft, IBM, Qualcomm, Intel formed one team. They betrayed to the world. They are ruling the world.
I am not joking..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then I woke up.
Damn it :-(2 -
devRant!
I love devrant because devrant's design makes me to remind my B.Tech project design which had same upvote/tag/link styles like devrant and devrant has really weird devs too :D
What is the story behind you??4 -
When I was in my final year of B.Tech.
There we had to do one major project so me and my friend both decided to build QUERA project for college. So as planned we informed to our superior and we got clean chit.
But later on we didn't know what to do??
That time my friend also didn't have programming awareness so days were going on. And the final month came and till then no progress.
My F was suggesting for purchase.
I was little bit worried too.
Then I had decided to build.
So me alone started building without any copying of templates from web(Actually at that time I didn't know that we can copy templates from web) so stupidly I was building templates using HTML and CSS. Parallely I was doing with php and phpmyadmin(SQL queries).
Seriously it was in PHP.
So this was running for approximately 14 days.
And believe me in that 14 days I was just doing project with all this stuff (obviously eating & 5 hrs sleep).
So, here the fun came
I was near to completion of my project but on last day I was not feeling well so I went to medical for some tablets.
And you know what, I was applying CSS in my mind on that tablet cover which was in rectangular shape.
Literally I was applying :D
Finally, I submitted project and got A+ for that.
Happy ending!1 -
Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg broke several days of silence in the face of a raging privacy storm to go on CNN this week to say he was sorry. He also admitted the company had made mistakes; said it had breached the trust of users; and said he regretted not telling Facebookers at the time their information had been misappropriated.
From techcrunch article.13 -
! First Apk
There is nothing else great feeling than making your first application's about us page.
Touched moon just now !
Bingo !
1 -
I hate Jira so much.. I used it on my last workplace and later begun work in a company that does consulting, and of course the first project I was assigned to.. uses Jira. Goddamn it.
I can't understand how they can make it so complicated.. Or maybe it's the organizations? When I want to see what I can work on next I have to look up the backlog, which is at the bottom of multiple sprints. From there I see a list of user story titles, attached to epics and I have to click each one to read the description and see a label "Blocked" or "Requires refinement"... Takes me hours to shift through that shit! Project manager is basically MIA and I have to look at titles, labels, epic links and comments to figure out if I can work on a story, and then I have to split it across multiple tasks, because the story is titled as "as a user I want to read and browse articles from multiple different sources and categorize, filter, mark them as my favorites and...".
Tools like Trello, Clubhouse.io (by ignoring a ton of features) or just sticky notes on a whiteboard are much more efficient tools for workflows.8 -
hey, look in jira on how to implement these features. lets not use any standard on how we format our tasks there.
add random screenshots on how things should or maybe should not look. add random tables in tasks with random fields from random tables in db which should be displayed somewhere?
lets not add docs to any of our code. name every method differently in every service although they do the same thing only for different types of data.
have someone come 3x a day to u asking: "is there something new to see in the ui? :D"
LIFE IS FUN HAHA :)) -
All tech department was really happy when we used Github Projects - managing a project was concise and organised. We loved it.
Then one day, product pushed us all to switch to the fuckin' conglomerate mess called Jira (fuck you Atlassian), which we still hate. So cumbersome, so much unimportant crap features, unintuitive interface, slow .... yes, fuck you Jira, again.7 -
Like to use devrant on company system too.. but my fucking new place just in front of manager. It seems like whole galaxy is sitting behind me to watch what I do :|3
-
I googled it. I searched for banana then then banana shown in the results and then I searched for apple and and and what happened to you google?? where is apple??
Google don't know apple :D -
Wife started to remind my of features required for next deploy. Pushes me and motivates. At this point I am afraid to use my whiteboard I use for quick tasks and feedback notes
-
What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??9 -
Yesterday night!
Yeah it was Saturday night but not for me. I was at bus stop and my jiofi device was in back pocket and after some time I was coming back to my room and thinking let's switch on wifi. After that my mobile was not connected to jiofi so I thought may be jiofi out of charged. Later on when I was checking in my pocket I realize that I missed it on bus stop!
Actually this jiofi device is my first salary's garbage:D
That's why I was little bit worried.
So I went back to stop and saw nothing was there. Disappointed but wait, suddenly devRant notification came and mobile vibrated so I checked and I seen that my mobile connected to jiofi and then I checked carefully, it was there!
Actually jiofi was placed in opposite face so that light was not visible but I got my jiofi back.
Thank you devRant notification:D2 -
In my last sprint planning my Project Manager said: "...Drupal is a programming language, like swift or jquery.."
And my boss wonders why our plannings take so long.
😳🤔😭😭😭😭😭3 -
How to kill Jira Backlog in one simple step:
1) put '-∞' to Storypoints
2) enjoy
(Bottom line: it can be fixed from User Story Map to something normal)
-
I administer Atlassian stack instance (among zillion other things, of course). Once I've got an issue about login problem:
"I can login to Confluence, but not to Jira, could you help me?"
Looking into projects configuration, into user's permission groups in Crowd (both apps are connected, it will be important in a moment)... Everything looks good. Wtf?
Suddenly, I've got this idea:
"What username do you use in Jira?"
"My username."
"What about Confluence login?"
"My email."
Realization in 3... 2... 1...
Wait for it...
Just a little more tension...
"Nevermind, thank you!"
Remember, guys, always give them a chance. Plan for the worst, but hope for the best. And I wish you all only such issues! :-D -
Logging work in Jira, because it goes against the whole ethos of trusting people to get the work done when they have to log exactly how much time they spent on each individual story. It also doesnt account for pair programming. so 2 people log the same time and it looks like the story took twice as long. I’ll stop now because I’m precariously close to opening the “time based estimates” can of worms and thats for another rant.4
-
Tutorial: How to get rid of your dev?
1. Find a very old (2+ years) jira task that took a lot of sleepless nights to get resolved.
2. Make sure that your dev is still on the watchers list.
3. Reopen to 'change some labels'.
4. Forget to close the task again.
5. Remove the body. Heart attack will get classified as a natural cause.
6. Close the task.1 -
Half of the day is spent on meetings, and the other half is spent hearing others saying, oohh but do we have a ticket for this task? Should we create a ticket for it??1
-
On this Saturday my first full project is going to production and I am unable to resolve one fucking critical bug without db hit. Well still trying..3
-
It's amazing how much you learn about a system when you are somewhat forced to administer it. #iKnowAllTheAtlassianShit
-
It's kinda calming to find out that the atlassian-guys themselves don't know very good about their stuff either
3 -
We're living in a world where 200 ko of RAM to send people to the moon, but 4 go isn't enough to make Jira fluid, while it's a fucking website.10
-
Spent an entire day clearing the backlog of the previous sprints in JIRA. Now i am seeing jira numbers everywhere :/2
-
Fuck you Jira, for your shitty implementation of the board, which causes written comments in tickets to simply disappear.
You clicked on another comment during edit? Say goodbye to what you have just written!
You clicked on the send button to send your comment? Well, many things can happen with our overcomplicated pile of shit that we call Jira. So, your comment might get lost. Fuck you. We are complicated. This shit can happen. Deal with it.2 -
when you work on a bug about fixing mistakes made on a story completed by somebody else
you then get approached with having to do petty unrelated UX stuff in the neighbouring area and the administrative nonsense with it
fuck u jira2 -
Actually every project we learns something. Consider like, In very recent one project,
First time used bunch of bean classes with layered structure and JS mixture. Had fun and given me confidence for interview. Happy ;) -
Call me a novice, but isn't the point of a user story to be concise, limited in scope and only concerning one purpose? Kind of like a class should only have one responsibility.
This stupid other reviewer developer comes whining at me saying I broke some shit in my user story and that I need to fix it. The weirdest part is that I didn't break anything. I wrote all my tests, they all passed and yep, this guy has the nerve to come and say that I broke other shit. Well genius, if it's OTHER SHIT, then it belongs as a bug in ANOTHER STORY. What the fuck man, seriously.
A few minutes of debugging later, I found out it was someone else who broke some code earlier on a piece that was part of my part of the application.
Why are others so quick to blame? This is unprofessional. OMG I DISCOVERED AN ERROR, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONE TO BLAME BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IGNORANT GUY BECAUSE YOUR TITLE IS JUNIOR DEVELOPER!
Right.
Companies like these, people, have bad communication. Bad companies.2 -
So after multiple hours of wrestling with Jira I finally managed to autofill fields in the service desk. How? By installing a plugin to show message boxes and injecting JavaScript through it, what else?
Fucking wonderful piece of crap :)
Next up: automatically capture errors triggered by employees with Sentry and raise Jira requests. "A button didn't work" isn't enough god damn it. -
when you spend more time in JIRA explaining the client that their bug is not a bug but misconfiguration on their side than actual programming. :-/
error between chair and keyboard.1 -
JIRA life:
Project leader proceeds to put what is actually two separate issues in the title. I'm already raging. I go to take a look at it.
I read the description - ANOTHER (this makes it three now) totally seperate issue in there.
Just fuck you I'm so sick it i see it over and over again no matter where I go or what project I work on its all the same bullshit.
"wE wAnT tO cLeARlY dEfINe iSsUeS aNd MoVe RaPiDlY"
YEAH THEN F&Q*@#()#$(@)#$ DO YOUR F$*(@#(*&$ JOB!!!! I'M DOING MINE, IN ADDITION TO DOING YOURS, CLEANING UP YOUR ABSOLUTE MESS THAT YOU LEFT!!!!2 -
Boss opens ONE task and keeps adding more requests in the comments WHILE I'm working on it.
It's like we don't have rules anymore.2 -
So I was in a training course today teaching us the basics of JIRA. (Turns out when they said basics, they really mean basic. I learnt nothing) Out of the blue, mid way through the lecture, a lady in her late 40's asks, "Can you copy and paste into JIRA". The worst part is, is the probability earns more than double my wage...
1 -
We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.
So far, so good
Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.
It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?
One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.
PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.
20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.
By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.
I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.2 -
Open a older case in #JIRA and either I'm in past or this thing is messing with me today Jan 30, 2018
2 -
So finally selected..
Long waiting and fighting for the fucking development field ;)
So new journey is started now..
Enjoyed this duration.
Going to work on web services.
Feeling happy ;) -
Project managers moved all the tickets around and then got mad that we couldn't find them to log our time.
Mass mutiny about logging time in general and expected dev hours per week.
They returned the tickets to the old system at least -
Well it's about my B.Tech project.
I had windows 7 and I had lots of imp data along with my project and I hadn't taken any backup of my project(not even report copy). So after successful completion of my project I thought let's play with OS and try other OS and that time I had rare awareness about data and OS too.
So I had copied my imp data(mainly friends party pics) into my friend's external HDD and I thought yeah I have clean chit now and literally I forgot about my project which was in C:/ drive.
So happily I had done experiments and enjoyed a lot and one day my my project partner asked about project copy and I had just given a smile.
RIP.
Happy Ending :D1 -
Today I have seen of @Microsoft, @linuxxx devrant profile.
How should I search devs profile in devrant? when I had entered dev name with @, mostly rants were came of that tag name.1 -
Project Lead: The DevOps department just got a GitLab instance installed on our internal network. We're gradually going to move all our projects onto it and move away from BitBucket and Jenkins really soon.
Me: Awesome!
Project Lead: We're still using JIRA and Confluence for issue tracking and documentation though because the higher ups said so.
Me:
2 -
You know how people are making fun of duo lingo birb getting’ all in your business about learning new language & not missing out on your daily exercises?
Well, our jira just upped the ante.. Boss asks why task xy is assigned to him.. um dunno?! I go check activity, as I don't even remember doing anything with that task recently..
All the dates, 'just now' remarks etc. on activity tab are in Russian.. WTF jira?!
ты пытаешься мне что-то сказать? -
Today was my first day in OPS room.
Fucking felt weird!
Literally only 1% understood I guess.
Luckily seniors were there with me.
I hope, soon will understand more ;) -
I wonder...
On a global scale, how much of Google's storage space is being consumed by unread JIRA emails.3 -
So we're using Jira Wiki for all the documentation related work. It's hell rich with features as they describe. But for me easiest way is to write doc on markdown and then copy paste on Wiki. Highlights code, format tables and aligns paras perfectly.2
-
fuck Jira's 5 days ago date format.
I hate that i fucking have to inspect it every time to get a normal date.7 -
Clicked "Reader View" on a Jira card in Firefox. Firefox displays a JSON object which it estimates is going to take me 17-20 minutes to read.
Go home, Firefox, you're drunk. -
I think I am going to keep a desktop counter of every time the other team bitches about not having tool x or tool y rather than learning the tools we already have that are perfectly capable of serving the purpose they want. I get that devs should be allowed to have the tools they need to do the job, but at a certain point you're yelling at a cloud to start raining. Especially since we work in a restricted environment and IT's backlog is ridiculous.
-
Did you ever think time estimations are hard? If so, did you ever try adding your actual taken time months after working on a ticket?8
-
I'm looking for a good JIRA app for Android. I've been using JIRA in Motion, but it lacks flexibility.1
-
So I accidentally used an email as a username to create an account through Jira for mongodb to report a bug.. That apparently breaks the entire Jira login system. I cant recover my account, and I can't create another account because my email is already in use.. Thanks Jira for deciding I'm going to bar before I go home today...9
-
I am introducing the Thunderdome policy:
2 Tickets enter 1 Ticket leaves. (Aka 1 Ticket gets worked on the other one gets deleted.) -
My first project is in production now, first day of night shift ;)
.
.
4 hrs passed.
Fuck! getting damn sleep. -
I had a gentleman tell me I was overqualified, and then proceed to ask me for help with Agile software (jira)! 😂 I gave him my card!
-
Today we received a new scrum master. Seems nice enough.
Now he wants to remove the fucking swimlanes from OUR jira board and change them into separate sub tasks.
Wtf.4 -
Dear JIRA... Fuck!
Why can't you offer integration with TFS? You used to! Now you'll go down in the bag of unused software. Right next to iTunes for Windows.1 -
I'm curious - how strict are you (or how strict is your lead / manager) about keeping stuff both detailed and up to date in Jira (both in terms of sprints & tickets)?
I've always drawn a pretty hard line with this - stuff in our Jira environment always has a detailed description, approximate estimate, is kept up-to-date with who's working on it, assigned appropriately, etc. But others I've spoken to seem to barely care if any tasks are in there properly at all.2 -
I got tired of the tedium of navigating dropdowns and required fields to open and close user stories, so I wrote a script with the following syntax:
./ticket open TICKET TITLE GOES HERE
./ticket close <TICKET #>3 -
For you Jira users, as song:
(to the tune of "Everything is Awesome" from The Lego Movie)
"Everything's P-Zerrrooooooo!!!
Everything is due day before yesterdaaayyyy!!" -
I spend the first 30 min of my day, every day, cleaning up the shit storm that my "PM" hacked together in JIRA. I really wish she would be taken off this project.1
-
I also like to listen music while coding but what the fuck guys some people really irritate with the music. They constantly singing with the music.. Seriously I mean constantly they are just fucking irritating. Fuck them.
Hence it makes irritate with music too. -
Customer calls
Talking about some new feature he haven't totally thought about. so i tell him to think about it.
Talking about a bug, but can't reproduce it.
Talking about another enormous new feature but halt it after hearing the initial estimation.
Total time waster = 1.5 hours for every day.
DON'T LET CUSTOMERS WASTE YOUR DEVELOPMENT TIME.
instead of talking - use project tracking software (i.e. JIRA) -
Questions more then a rant...
I've moved from being a lead on imploring DevOps and Agile practices in a large Telco to now working for a security consultancy... The team I'm with are s*** hot when it comes to SecOps (which is why I changed jobs) and I've been hired to he the automation and working practice expert on the team. Already got some of them learning Ansible which is a great start!
I've got delivery now being pushed to Git and all client work being tracked in Jira and properly documented and collaborated through HipChat and other CI tools on the way....
My question is this... Does anyone have some awesome resources to teach people Git, Jira, Jenkins, etc. quickly without forking or branching out on expensive training? Focus on being a technical but consultative team. Ideally just wanna pull some awesome guides and make. My own commits on them for the team... Please fire a story or epic away!1 -
Looks like I am beginning my freelance journey.
Usefull Issue Tracker / Project Management tool?
If it's foss and written in python that would be great, I would probably try to extend it with extensions later on.3 -
TF, for me it's impossible to logout one google account in the browser if I signed in with multiple google accounts.
I'm too dumb I guess!2 -
Is there any alternatives to Atlassian's Confluence and Jira?
We used to use GitHub projects and wiki, but "the business" wanted a more formalised process and access controls on kanban boards and backlogs.
We started using Jira and Confluence last month, but Jira have been incredibly slow with a horrible interface also Everytime I create a new issue it feels like I'm wasting a lot of time compared to the time needed to setup an issue on GH and add it to a project board, plus the entire team is used to using markdown which doesn't work great on Jira.
I've looked for some alternative but I wonder what you are using out there!5 -
Thought about startup.. Strange but literally saying no single coin had in my pocket.. Still have love for startup.. But u know what no project no idea no team.. Still struggling for startup.. Fortunately few days back got proposal of govt project.. One min game literally coin replaced his face.. But after some days grant procedure issue pending sucks.. Still have love for startup.. Suddenly got a thought can I do it after grant but I know I have devRant support.. So still continue to love for startup ;-)
Just few days are remaining and waiting for it.. -
Can anyone explain why the Assign Issue and Resolve Issue dialogs in JIRA are modal, so that I can't look at the issue I am assigning/resolving while writing my comment and filling out all the other mandatory fields?
And if you close and reopen the dialog, all your changes are lost. Second tab it is...1 -
I worked as an backend dev the last 2 years and was maintaining and connecting external APIs to our system. If one of these did not work properly or their test system went down I needed half a fucking day closing all JIRA issues named "EXTERNAL system not reachable" . Who needs speaking error messages anyways...
-
My boss yelled at me Monday for brining up that no one in the office is a fan of Jira.
He yelled and gave 4 rules.
1. Task Numbers
2. Multiple Project Overview
3. Integrates with Github
4. No one bitches
I spent the day uploading data from Jira into clubhouse2 -
Atlassian truly know its way to use marketing euphemisms in such a way that it feels like a slap in my face and kick into my groins.
The next time my app crashes and people come running to me that they cannot used it at all, I will simply state that I am looking into reports of people seemingly experiencing "degraded performance".
At least they are consistent, as they did that as well in the past with their [minor glitch](https://devrant.com/rants/922343/...) thing.1 -
For me big list is there ;)
But recently one of the team in our internship has built a project where admin can add and update his own educational details into the project and no one can see admin personal information because of privacy :| -
Reverse number(logic)
------
First Approach :=
void reverseMethod(int n)
{
String str="";
int temp=0;
while(n>0)
{
temp=n%10;
n=n/10;
str=str+""+temp;
}
System.out.println(str);
}
-----
Second Approach :=
void reverseMethod(int n)
{
int temp=0;
int rev=0;
while(n>0)
{
temp=n%10;
n=n/10;
rev=rev*10+temp;
}
System.out.println(rev);
}
-----
why the fuck second one is recommended??
In first, at least we do not required to remember that formula.9 -
Confluence WYSIWYG-editor shall burn in a thousand hells. This thing pretends to be smart, yet all its autoformatting achieves is to enrage me. I don't remember dropping so many f-bombs in such a short time frame.
I hoped to ease to the pain by writing markdown, yet I can only write markdown in a new insert markup window which does not even comprehend nested lists. And don't get me started that it wants to push its Confluence Wiki syntax first. Why does it need to reinvent the wheel?
Why can't I disable the WYSIWYG feel of it and just write plain old markdown?
Confluence, you are part of the problem!
I rather keep the documetnation inside the git repostory inside of md files. But no, confluence shall be our source of soon to be outdated documentation.
Sigh. -
Tempo has lost its reference to the issues on which I'm trying to log work. Used to press 'W' on an issue and that issue was automatically selected as "Issue key", but now I have to select it manually. A small problem I know, yet it annoys the crap out of me.
-
Fuck Jira. That motherfucker sucks up almost 500mb of my ram and I need that shit since I'm running vscode and 5 other tabs minimum. And I only have 8gb how low it is right (!). Even my PC is idle whenever I open jira it starts to hangs so badly WTF YOU CODDED THERE ASHOLES CHECK YOUR CODE. I needed to get this off me I'm still mad that there is no console jira with only text
-
Is there anyone out there who uses absolutely everything JIRA has to offer? I've worked with it since starting my career and I still find it a massive fucking overkill.
-
Digital transformation is pain in the ass, my customer migrated project management from self hosted jira to atlassian cloud.
Results:
I am finally able to login to this new amazing jira that looks completely different but still nothing is optimized to laptop screen so looks crap as before.
My issues are now assigned to not existing user.
At least I remember how to use basic JQL and reassign issues to me.
I feel bad to other team members.
Great waste of time.7 -
;)
function getReason(num) {
switch (num) {
case 1:
console.log("Love to create something new!");
break;
case 2:
console.log("It's fucking cool!");
break;
case 3:
console.log("Money!");
break;
default:
console.log("Fuck offffff");
break;
}
}10 -
Jira really fuckin gets on my nerves a lot. It has so many features, but fuck do those features behave strangely. It's like if you reorder that card on me one more god damned time, I will feed your fuckin testicles to you.1
-
Well, not that much but precautions has been increased which got impact on host connections, I guess : X
Getting error while authentication, host is always closing connection during handshake :) -
Have you guys had any trouble trying to get the BAs to use JIRA for issue reporting/management? The dev team just upgraded to new JIRA and we are getting hard pushback... they're wanting to stick with 1-4 excel spreadsheets on a share drive...3
-
Team Lead (not my team, thankfully) sends outs a team-wide message (in their exact words):
"please DM me with the task link if you are adding any new tasks in Jira. This is to make sure that i am aware of any ad-hoc task coming up in the jira queue and also to make sure that all the task are following a common template."
Interpretation : "I'm just too lazy to look at each jira issue after the last one that I followed up on (which is my job BTW). So I'll add some extra work for you to explain everything to me on DM"
Way to go for killing productivity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thankfully, this is not my team. If they were my team lead, I'd be super furious. I'd even report it to upper management. I'd even offer to do their job and let them do mine. I think their job just got so easy if everyone was to go report to him like that.3 -
JIRA BULK DELETE USER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!3
-
we have been working... we swear...
this is right at the end of a project which was artificially extended because the review process wasn't setup in time. we've had to do certain things the product owners way, whilst shaking our heads and this useful chart is one of the side effects. sidenote, product owner is looking at this chart and showing it to higher ups, trying to show progress being made... i give up.
-
me: this installation needs swap space on server
ops: we don't do swap space on AWS
me: ಠ_ಠ OK, what other solution can you provide me?
ops: here, use this real (bare metal) server we have
me: will it have all the same access and installed packages I had used on the AWS server?
ops: no, you need to create tickets for that
me: ಠ_ಠ -
!android_code
Hey I am getting plb in tabbed activity application in android..
Let me know how to code separately for each and every tab within same activity?? -
Fuck you arrays.
Why the fuck you want to start with '0'? Ohh I forgot If you will start with '1' then you can't fuck with us. Let it be you f***24 -
Has anyone used CA's Rally for issue tracking? Is it as bad for devs as I've been warned?
We are being forced to use it instead of Jira because of the pretty reports it generates for management and I am kind of scared...5 -
Our Jira does reindexing every night. At that time no issues could be created or resolved.
It just tells us to go to sleep in its own weird way. -
Ahh most of my development time includes, handling JIRA tickets and arranging them in their respective state.. 😅
-
Didn't know maps api integration...
Didn't know markers allocation..
Didn't know geolocation..
JavaScript llbit..
Still implemented...
Love you google..stackoverflow..:-p -
Was searching app for patent search °°
Seen one comment with one star and that fellow mentioned that
"It won't find the parents"
Wow! -
Recently I've purchased a new laptop and so far it's working smoothly as I expected.
And yesterday I had a dream in which, laptop was got broken in the middle where the screen gets attached. And there was a last day for replacement as per return policy (idk really whether they allows if laptop got physical damage). But I was trying very hard to get the internet to submit a request for replacement and suddenly I woke up and very first I checked the laptop condition.
Anyway today I'll goto sleep and again will try to place replacement request for my laptop before date get expired.7 -
Submenu Boards doesn't show in Firefox 45.5.0 when viewing a single issue. This is really frustrating as I can't move quickly between the sprint board and a specific issue. What also sucks about jira is that there is no way to report bugs like this (perhaps Atlassian sincerely believe that they never have any bugs in their products), leaving devrant as the only resort to let out steam ;)
-
Does anyone written Associate Android Developer exam?
Or anyone aware about that, is it worthy for Android Development career?? -
Why on earth does the Bit Bucket user search when assigning an issue bring up every bloddy user until you typed their name fully.
Surely, team mates should show first.
Maybe JiRA is better?2 -
Why can't Jira support standard markdown (as defined by Daring Fireball / John Gruber et al)?
Why does it need an own markup syntax and even fail with it. Using ticks ` for code once worked, now it lets the first tick stay, eats the first code character and highlights it as code. Just why?!6 -
Jira on Android 🙄
I had an overview of the backlog, blocked, active issues, could see who works on what and so on ...
Accidentally pressed the back button, returned to the project. Now it's a single big list with only issue type, description and deadline. It's pretty much a guessing game, which feature is open. Their seems to be no way to change that, not even deleting any data.
How did this happen?? Let me change it back!6 -
Is there any way to browse devRant in the office like an extension or something else rather than jsrant or xmlrant?9
-
The biggest distraction in all issue trackers is the hemorrhaging backlog of tickets that will _never_ be done, or aren't important yet.
This is why I just choose not to even bother opening it and let my PM close them out. :-) -
WTF happened with Microsoft Dynamics 365 web instance UI and so many basic bugs plus technical error msgs displayed to the end user :|
-
It's fucking irritating when your work gets stuck because of others. This means either team management sucks or someone really irritative.3
-
One of the best product feature updates (though it's not "very" recent) that I really found interesting and useful from Developer perspective is integration of JIRA cloud with GITHub and how it uses issue key to associate the commit.
I makes things a bit easy while working in DevOps model :)
Please feel free to post your reviews. -
Need suggestion :
Acer Nitro 5 Ryzen quad core VS Acer Aspire 7
Which one should I consider mainly for gaming and coding related stuff??15 -
Why is everybody writing Jira comments as emails?!! If they write 5 comments two the same issue they use the same format.
Hello X,
....
Thanks,
Y
Now I have to respond the same way.... -
!rant
So, why is everybody's answer for a windows based git server bit bucket, but Linux does it naturally?
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