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Best Part of beeing a dev is that i don't have to dress well at all, sneakers and hoodie are fine, even in meetings :-)4
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*Lazy Friend has IntelliJ and Eclipse*
*Lazy Friend using Notepad++*
Me: Why don't you use IntelliJ? Its debugger really helps..
LF: It takes too much time to start, I don't have that much time..
*continues staring at his screen and using his mind debugger*
It's kinda funny when he just sits and stares at his screen after saying that he doesn't have any time..
It took way less time to find the (a?) bug when he finally used the debugger..7 -
In high school, we had to choose between sports or computer science. I didn't like to play sports and now I'm a programmer.4
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Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!
14 -
When you want to be a godly programmer but all you do on your free time is watch movies and porn. :(14
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Boss assigned me a task on Google Docs:
Boss: "Please remove this line"
Me: "What!? You're already there! How hard is it to fucking select the fucking sentence with your fucking touchpad and press the fucking delete key on your fucking keyboard!? Why assign me with such a fucking waste of time and fucking trivial task!?"17 -
Dear Chrome,
I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.
No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.
Your abusive friend,
-chappjc
17 -
Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out
Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓
Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out
Me: saved me, woohoo 😎
*Few minutes later*
Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"
Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂6 -
I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.8
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I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!19 -
@dfox Feature request
Could we have fully displayed rants ? Maybe as a setting disabled by default ?
I mean sometimes i'd like to relax and just mindlessly scroll, and having to tap to read longer rant and then tap back is, well, too much.
Especially when the rant ia only like 2 words above limit.17 -
When your new project is starting to take form, but you can't be arsed to update the documentation and unit tests.
2 -
Stop bitching about having to write comments, they are important whether you like it or not. Trust me nobodys code is "that good" 😒4
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I used to work in a call center for a local hospital.
One night, all of our lines are swamped. Literally no time for a break between phone calls, +15 minute wait times. I answer the next call:
Me: "Its a marvelous Monday at AskIT, how may I help you?"
Doctor: "This is Dr. [Noone Care]. I need you to fix my password now."
Me: "Absolutely! You should be able to enter a new password now."
Doctor: "MY HANDS ARE NOT FOR PASSWORDS, MY HANDS ARE FOR SURGERY!"
😩 So glad I don't work for doctors anymore. Oh and the best part is, he had selected the general phone queue, rather than the doctor queue (~3 minute wait time instead).8 -
Thanks ssh!
Because of you I don't have to leave the bed to run commands on my Linux server(laptop) sitting on my desk.8 -
Customer.... I keep getting this error code
Me.... Deletes message box
Customer.... Wow you fixed that quick
Me.... That's why you pay us.1 -
Everytime I have to execute several commands to do something, I tell myself:
I will write a script for that.
But now I have no time.
I will do it the next time.
I will never write these scripts.5 -
CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".
So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.
At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.
A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:
"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.
"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!
I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!
It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.8 -
does anyone else have days where they just can't be bothered to make anything, and days where they get a massive amount done?3
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Asked my co-worker if he had made a class to use for ftp connections.
He said he had.
This is what I found. FFS @michal78!
10 -
1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.
Stories of a lazy programmer...12 -
Am I the only developer here that is too lazy to design and code out my own website? Instead, I just purchase a theme and install in on a wordpress.
It feels like i brought dishonour to my family.9 -
!rant
Just remembered the project back in my bachelor CS classes. The Prof was so utterly busy that he did not even read my thesis which he had to grade. I once sent him a 2mb bulk from /dev/rand which I piped into 'documentation.pdf' and got an A.
Sometimes the worst professors are the best :D2 -
"Optimized for Firefox version XY in 1280x720px" - the footnote of the lazy designer from many years ago... Sadly there are still some websites created in 2017 that contain this text. Well, we even still have people in my region who make money with pure table designs for companies.2
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That moment when writing code to perform a one time task ends up taking more time than just doing the task manually6
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Today, I reached a new level of laziness.
I lied down to watch a movie and I was too lazy to copy the movie from my external hard drive which was in the other side of the bed.
What did I do? I've downloaded the movie once again and watched.4 -
Answered dfox's what's your weekend project question with "gotta hack some open source app for my needs". In reality, watched the cutest possum and Snoop Dogg's wild life commentary on YouTube is all I did on my computer.3
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I’m the embodiment of lazy...
I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.
Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.
Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).
Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫7 -
YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
I have nothing against teaching and showing someone starting in this field how to do things but FOR FUCKS SAKE, PUT INTEREST IN IT, I WON'T DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, I HAVE MY JOB, YO DO YOURS.
Jesus...fucking Christ, these kind of people always get on my nerves.2 -
I was contacted by a college senior guy (he was part of the core team of the club that I recently joined in my college).
Him: Do you want to launch your own startup?
Me: Yeah, I would love to.
Him: Nice, Listen. Even I want to start my own company. If you don't know, the current trend is ML and AI . So, I would like to base my startup on an AI application.( He was in his final year )
Me: I haven't tried any ML or AI stuff before.Sorry.
Him: Take 2 months time to study the AI concepts and do the app.
Me: But first, tell me what the AI app is supposed to do?
Him: It can be anything I have to think, you take the AI part and the UI and integration; with your skills and my idea let's build a startup and I will appoint you as the head of Application Development in my company.
*wtf, seriously dude? you want me to build the whole app for you and all you will do is put your fucking startup's name on it. I am building an application all by myself why the f would I ask you to publish it for me*
Me: Okay, I am getting late, I have to leave..
Made sure I didn't meet him again
and I have also came out of that stupid club..3 -
You know what does my fucking head in?
Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.
Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.
If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.
A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.8 -
That feeling of accomplishment when your code runs and you are the only person who knows that you copied the main parts from Stackoverflow.
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Argh... Fuck you with a rusty pole while monkeys hanging on them. Why the fuck did you not take the extra five minutes that would have been taken to restrict that fucking datepicker to not allow users to pick a date before the current day??
Thanks to you asshole I've managed to book my accommodation from February 2nd to 4th instead of March.
Now I don't have anywhere to sleep while I must go there for the weekend because I have some course to attend to.
Abso-fucking-lutely great.8 -
Tl;Dr - It started as an escape, carried on as fun, then as a way to be lazy, and finally as a way of life. Coding has defined and shaped my entire life from the age of nine.
When I was nine I was playing a game on my ZX spectrum and accidentally knocked the keyboard as I reached over to adjust my TV. Incredibly parts of it actually made a little sense to me and got my curiosity. I spent hours reading through that code, afraid to turn the Spectrum off in case I couldn't get back to it. Weeks later I got hold of a book of example code to copy out to do various things like making patterns on the screen. I was amazed by it. You told it what to do, and it did it! (don't you miss the days when coding worked like that?) I was bitten by the coding bug (excuse the pun) and I'd got it bad! I spent many late nights on that thing, escaping from a difficult home life. People (especially adults) were confusing, and in my experience unpredictable. When you did things wrong they shouted at you and threatened to take you away, or ignored you completely. Code never did that. If you did something wrong, it quietly let you know and often told you exactly what was wrong. It wasn't because of shifting expectations or a change of mood or anything like that. It was just clean logic, simple cause and effect.
I get my first computer a year later: an IBM XT that had been discarded by a company and was fitted with a key on the side to turn it on. With the impressive noise it made it really was like starting an engine. Whole most kids would have played with the games, I spent my time playing with batch scripts and writing very simple text adventures. And discovering what "format c:" does. With some abuse and threatened violence I managed to get windows running on it. Windows 2.1 I think it was.
At 12 I got a Gateway 75 running Windows 95. Over the next few years I do covered many amazing games: ROTT, Doom, Hexen, and so on. Aside from the games themselves, I was fascinated by the way computers could be linked together to play together (this was still early days for the Web and computers networked in a home was very unusual). I also got into making levels for Doom, Heretic, and years later Duke Nukem 3D (pretty sure it was heretic; all I remember is the nightmare of trying to write levels entirely by code!). I enjoyed re-scripting some of the weapons and monsters to behave differently. About this time I also got into HTML (I still call this coding, but not programming), C, and java. I had trouble with C as none of the examples and tutorial code seemed to run properly under a Windows environment. Similar for my very short stint with assembly. At some point I got a TI-83 programmable calculator and started rewriting my old batch script games on it, including one "Gangster Lord" game that had the same mechanics as a lot of the Facebook games that appeared later (do things, earn money, spend money to buy stuff to do more things). Worried about upcoming exams, I also made a number of maths helper apps, including a quadratic equation solver that gave the steps, and a fake calculator reset to smuggle them into my exams. When the day came I panicked and did a proper reset for fear of being caught.
At 18 I was convinced I was going to be a professional coder as I started a degree in Computer Science. Three months later I dropped out after a bunch of lectures teaching what input and output devices were and realising we were only going to be taught Java and no C++. I started a job on the call centre of a big company, but was frustrated with many of the boring and repetitive tasks we had to do. So I put my previous knowledge to use, and quickly learned VBA to automate tasks. It wasn't long before I ended up promoted to Business Analyst where I worked on a great team building small systems in Office, SAS, and a few other tools.
I decided to retrain in psychology, so left the job I was in and started another degree. During my work and placements my skills came in use a number of times to simplify and automate tasks. I finished my degree, then took a job as a teaching assistant while I worked out what I wanted to do next and how to pay for it. Three years later I've ended up IT technican at the school, responsible for the website, teaching a number of Computing lessons each week, and unofficial co-coordinator for Computing as a subject. I also run a team of ten year old Digital Leaders who I am training in online safety and as technical experts; I am hoping to inspire them to a future in coding. In September I'll be starting teacher training with a view to becoming a Computing specialist teacher. Oh, and I'm currently doing a course in Android Development in my free time.
And this all started with an accidental knock on the keyboard of a ZX Spectrum.7 -
Am I the only one who keeps adding articles to pocket and seldom checks it
Procrastination..
I mean literally.5 -
Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.1 -
I have become so lazy that I write things like
int reservations = getReservations()
and then use the IDEs quickfix to change int to Arraylist<Reservation>
Saves me roughly 15 characters but its always worth it :D6 -
This happens too frequently... I turn off my computer but then I sit in front of it for hours on my phone. It's 2:30 AM, go to sleep, me.
4 -
Heights of laziness.
My dad's laptop having "WINDOWS OS" got full of viruses and my dad wanted me to repair it since I visited my home.
But I insisted him to get it repaired at some IT shop. Went to an IT shop, my dad introduced the shopkeeper that I am his son and is a software engineer. That moment, I really felt bad that even I could have done formatting and installing applications back.
Now, let's hope it comes back full healthy and clean.19 -
My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.
It's always the same story.
"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".
...
Another hour goes by.
If only I could keep to my own convictions.4 -
What a lazy fuck.
This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.
What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?
The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?
Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.
"Can you please grep ... in the server?"
What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?
What a waste of time.5 -
What is the laziest that you have done?
I had to transfer some photos from my phone to PC but the USB cable was in the other room, so I uploaded it on my Google drive from my phone and then downloaded it on my PC
:P11 -
SSH is the most basic thing a web developer should know.
Some people are just lazy to learn something and all they do is give hard time to other people.2 -
That moment when you know your code can be much shorter and cleaner but you just keep typing because you're too lazy to restructure.1
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When you're supposed to make a pcb for this SMD component, but when you etch you realize it's the wrong footprint.
Ended up soldering enamel wire tomthe chip.
hope it works
4 -
Dev 1: Hey, so people's computers seem to crash when someone tries to use a great deal of CPU power or RAM with a single large process, since we are still severely limited by the state of software/hardware interaction in the 1990s.
Dev 2: Why not set the max clock speed at 60% and then double the price? Nobody will know.
David Attenborough: And at this moment, the modern Macintosh Computer was born. -
How to force your self to write unit tests for your personal projects:
1. Go to a public place
2. Forget to bring your phone cable & never install a simulator because you are lazy af
3. Profit!5 -
I know whats wrong, I know how to fix it, but it would require too much energy so trying to find a different way to fix it1
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Developer of said repo notices the influx of activity, but then just updates the readme by saying there are bugs, not fixing.
Bro I just gave you a PR. Take the fucking PR and that will fix the bugs. -
I swear, the next time I hear a web developer say to me: "Yeah let's pretend as if the security hole in the website isn't there, because truth be told, i cannot be bothered to fix it."4
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Sat in a McDonald's watching two staffers try to mop a floor.
I'll be honest, I'm very close to taking it away and doing it myself.
I cannot stand "busy work" do it properly or don't do it at all.8 -
that moment when you get an idea about awesome app to publish in the play store, but you remember how many other 100 ideas that are waiting for your move to write code, designing. so you give up, now you have 101 ideas waiting...1
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Guy I work with messaging me: Hey could you check my SQL syntax to get the date part for the month and year.
Me thinking: Ughhh this is going to be something stupid I know it. Why doesn't he just check it himself?
I check it... 2 queries that are very, very, very... simple... and similar except one returns last year (2017) and the other returns the current year (2018)
Me: Not sure what your issue is... I'm not getting any syntax errors. They are executing
Him: Well it shouldn't show 2017, it should show 2018
Me thinking: learn to debug you lazy fuck
Me: Well you're adding a -1 to your year...(Not sure why your even adding to it if your just getting the current month and year)
Him: Oh you're correct! That makes sense
Waste of my time2 -
When the change log says "fixed bugs and improved performance" only to find the entire application has been redesigned.1
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Client request: POST /user/login
Server response: "Login working bitches"
Client: if (response === "Login working bitches"){
//sign in
}1 -
A couple of weeks ago I had an internship. I worked there with a classmate. We had a simple assignment, but since we're noobs when it comes to web applications (and because you don't learn that in school), we even had a hard time preparing.
Finally, I... I mean "we" decided to use React because it's close to the way we learned to solve problems in school. I asked him to implement a page with a date picker/calendar. I even searched for a repo that. 2 Days later he was still not able to implement it, he experimented with the code, but he
1. didn't even read the readme, just copied the tutorial expecting it to work
2. Didn't even look at the logic behind it.
3. Demanded to use this other repo with less functionality
10-30 minutes should have been more than enough. Instead, I wasted time telling him to read and code properly. He refused the second (and probably also the first), because "Why should I care? We'll be here for 3 weeks and then we're done with this"
Guess whom I'll avoid in any possible group project4 -
This just happened....
Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>
Checked all the logs eh?
3 -
Am I dumb/blind or devrant could use the reply on the rant itself? I have a problem when wanting to tag the creator and I have to type the username (if not previously replying on the rant)..which usually means switching between the rant and comment several times before I get it right.. :/8
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"We’re not insulting Larry [Wall] by saying he’s lazy; laziness is a virtue. The wheelbarrow was invented by someone
who was too lazy to carry things; writing was invented by someone who was too lazy to memorize; Perl was
invented by someone who was too lazy to get the job done without inventing a whole new computer language."
- footnote from Learning Perl, by Randal L. Schwartz, brian d foy, and Tom Phoenix -
===Development Crisis===
(~˘▾˘)~ Lazy Mode: On
a) Rewrite 100 lines of complex code to over 300 lines to hopefully solve issue.
OR
b) Use depreciated legacy module to solve problem instantly.
Decisions, decisions....
¯\_(ツ)_/¯2 -
Just created a batch file to delete a directory so that I don't have to right click and move my mouse all the way to delete and click it.10
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An example of today's generation:
My little cousin 22 years old wants to get into BI Dev. I tell him to read a certain book. The book has practice examples and various things that are hands on.
What does he do?
He READS the book and is like, "ask me any question and I know the answer". So I'm like, "fine, what's the structure of a basic SQL statement?", after some hard thought he's like, "SELECT * FROM?" I'm like, "ok.....how would you filter that?" and he's like, "you got me man........no clue".
What didn't he do?
Practice.
I mean.........come on.3 -
Has anyone else noticed that the notifications screen's title is just "Notifs" even though it could've been "Notifications"?2
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Today, I was so certain that all the functionalities were implemented to handle some webhook calls from a third-party service. It's a script I wrote that has been running for 2+ years uninterrupted or without any issues.
We got some "complaints/notices" today that some "special" actions weren't registered, so I thought that the third-party service just didn't send those actions via their webhook. After some research I found a part where they explained that those actions trigger the webhook like any other action etc. So..
First thought: "okay, maybe they implemented that at a later stage" (was not the case)
Second thought: "maybe this is not what the client meant" (it was)
Third thought: "Then it should have been implemented" (it wasn't)
Okay, time to look at the code to see where this could get handled but apparently isn't. All the actions look good, nice, clean handeling etc, nicely documented code (gave the 'past-me' mentally a high-five)..
I scroll further down to that specific action and it was quiet obvious why it didn't work.. I just see an empty function with the comment:
"//TODO: maybe handle this action one day. don't know what this does atm, probably unused.. Will take a look at it next week.."
.. :D
I took my 'high-five' back..I just needed to copy-paste some other code and change 1-2 parameters..1 -
I hate people that sends an email with a question and when you fail to reply within their arbitrary deadline (not in the email) they email you the same question but copying your boss and your boss's boss when they could've literally just walk 20 steps to ask the same question5
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short story: I'm probably the laziest human being on earth.
long story: Since a few months, i'm working on a project at work (setup installer for deployment) which drives me crazy. The requirements are anything but straightforward and the codebase is already a mess (new technology, fundamental changes again and again).
For that reason, I had a dream: A new, clean and separated framework, written in my spare time. I guess this would take only about 20-25 hours, because now I have the necessary knowledge. Yeah. Sounds great, BUT I HAD THIS DREAM LIKE A FUCKING MONTH AGO OR SO!!!! I'm so fucking lazy, that's embarrassing. In one month, I couldn't get up my ass for about 20 hours. Just embarrassing.
I've always got an excuse:
Angel me: "Hey, it's saturday. Let's code some lines."
Devil me: "Yes, but just watch one more episode of this cool new tv-series. I just wanna see, who that little cat-faced murderer is. There's still so many time left that weekend."
Result: Watched the whole season at a stretch -> saturday is gone.
Angel me: "Hey, it's sunday and you have nothing to do now, let's code some lines and make your life at work easier."
Devil me: "Yeah, for sure, LATER! Now it's time for the gym. Health is the most important thing in life."
Result: Went to gym; "quick" walk with a girl; Met some other friends; cooked; watched tv -> Now it's sunday evening 9:11 pm. Sunday is ALMOST gone.
Guess what i do now for the rest of the day?
Sometimes I fucking hate myself.2 -
"We don't need to design this page, we'll just wing it in dev. It's not an important page."
result: 47 jiras about choice of fonts, alignment, padding, missing images that were never provided, how it looks shit on mobile and can we make it black instead?1 -
git commit messages
at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"
personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"3 -
I really couldn't help but laugh when I found this gem of an error message. I mean, I'd literally know just as much if it served me a blank page.
If you can't describe your own god damned error message without calling it 'generic', IT IS NOT A GOOD ERROR MESSAGE!
I'm glad they informed me it's an application error though. HERE I WAS THINKING MY TOASTER WAS THE PROBLEM.
2 -
That tiny *snap* in the temple of the head when you're enjoying yourself and suddenly you got disconnected from the internet,
*surge of violent tendencies
*furiously inhale
*angrily exhale
*muffled swearing in my mind
Long story short, the internet at my boarding house is fucking shitty due to lack of management's effort to fix it
2 -
Here's why you shouldn't use Arch, even on a simple local file server.. Now I have to get up and actually hook up a keyboard to it 🙄
15 -
Ugh! So boring writing the same thing over and over! So instead I wrote a ruby script to generate some C# code for me!
Honestly...I just make excuses to do stuff with Ruby 😂3 -
Started to re-watch the whole season one of Silicon Valley, because was procrastinating work and needed to get inspired. Didn't take into account the time it would require to watch the whole season. Would've started earlier than I did, even after procrastinating.
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NOOOO!!!!
devRant!!!!!
Who did this to you :(
The Avatar Builder ... you have ...
A BUG
dfox & t-rogus:
1366x768 px
Arch Linux, Firefox
6 -
Am I the only one who is just to lazy to order devrant stickers even if my posts have enough upvotes? :D
Don't get me wrong i love stickers!8 -
That I'm Not working on my personal projects after university or work and beeing to lazy to even start learning a new language.1
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A dev joins the project. I help him set up, and he has everything up and running. I give him a task to fix a CSS issue, I even tell him what needs to be done. Almost 4 hours later I begin to wonder what's taking him so long and what is he up to. He finally sends me a pull request with just one line of code changed, and leaves for the day, over 45 mins earlier than supposed to.12
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When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.
Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.
I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.
I hate me.
Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.
Have good day.10 -
How do you reply to multiple people in a rant without having to mention their names explicitly?
Click reply on the first person, go back, click reply on the next person, go back and so on!7 -
Is it just my preview or are there more rants with the topic "lazy"?
It's almost like devRant is trying to tell me something. 😐 -
Client asked me to complete the job as fast as I can and, here I am, waiting for the review of the latest version for the past 2 WEEKS.
Good thing, she paid up the entire amount beforehand. *Rubs hands in glee*3 -
The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.
I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀
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I never bothered to request my stickers. I was waiting for my one rant to reach 200 to get my stress ball and stickers together, but then the limit was bumped to 500 and I couldn't be bothered. I might buy a duck or the avatar stickers though, as I feel bad asking for free stuff from such an awesome app.5
-
I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?
One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".
If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.
Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB2 -
Happened to me a while ago:
co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!4 -
My C64 Retro Game Dev book didn’t arrive today because the courier “couldn’t find your front door”.
Seriously?! 30+ orders in the past 6 months and this dumb fuck couldn’t find me?
I live at a goddamn museum, signposted all through the town.2 -
*let's people know he can program*
>constantly gets asked to do xyz, "I'd even pay you", because idiots are too lazy to do anything on their own
😐
And it's not like they're asking for hard things, they are literally asking you to do stuff you can find on Google in 30 seconds but they are too lazy to do so2 -
I've been BSing my skillset for so long to myself, it's a veritable toolbox of mixed knowledge but no complete sets...
I wonder if it's too late for me to catch up or if I will ever actually complete any learning...
I am yet to finish learning
Html
CSS
PHP
Ruby
C#
ASM I can do i386 but not x86
VB
Pascal if you can believe
C
C++
Java
JS
Python
Powershell
Bash
My main skill is basically just remembering anything I do, including code syntax and example code fragments well enough to quote at people which makes me a lazy learner. -
!Rant #lazy
I setup my local server so I can test my apps and to mount my partitions on my www folder in a folder named "mnt" with numbered folders for each mounted partition
So I can access and download my files to phone and other devices from all over the network :)
And even watch movies that are in my computer on my phone or tv
And when I want to sleep I usually watch a movie or one episode of series which is stored in my pc ,on my phone by this method in my bed 😅
So the thing is I'm too lazy to get out of bed and shut down the server and pc
So I setup this file so I can run commands on my PC from my phone 😅😂😂😂
192.168.1.110/server.php?cmd=shutdown now&psw=mypassword
7 -
My email is just as valid if there is a whitespace at the end of it as if there wasn't.. ffs, just add a trim!
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Somebody asked me for help on their thesis, gave them advise, how they should do it, what are the best practices on implementing things...
I asked the today how are they doing? They answered, we paid someone to do it, we can't do it...
Damn are they even studying and doing their daily programming practice???4 -
"Sweet, I fixed story 1 and can commit! ...but issue 2 is pretty small, let me just work on that first so there's 1 pull request".
4 hours later, issue 2 not done yet, and I can't push push story 1 to QA until I finish it. I really need to stop doing that.4 -
I love having a clean, open working environment...but I hate doing the work to keep that environment maintained.3
-
$FEATURE_REQUEST
Show notifications in the favicon. There's a prebuilt js library under the MIT/GPLv2 here https://github.com/ejci/favico.js -
Bug fixed! Commit, close ticket.
Ticket reopens. Dang.. let me test it. Still fixed, wtf? Send message to QA guy that opened it again.
"Read my comment." Comment has some entirely different yet slightly related bug.
Leap out window.1 -
When you're in the zone, writing your genius down before you forget it, and you smartwatch reminds you to go stand and move around. 😑
-
Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.1
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Programmer friend: Dood, do this and this and show it to me, I'll say if it's good.
Me (noob): Okay, sure.
*next week*
F: So why did you stop coding?
M: Why do you think so?
F: You didn't show me your project in a week.
M: I was lazy?
F: LAZY?!?!2 -
Getting a project from a client: It's quite easy. I'll finish it in a day.
Week 3: import express from 'express'2 -
*while writing a function, sees mistake in another function unrelated to the one I'm writing* eh, can't be bothered to fix that right now, I'll wait for someone to file a bug
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I came to a point where I expect the computer can read my mind and suggest keyword accordingly, be it in code editor, terminal or word editor. That level of laziness. 😂
-
---12.018 HE----
I want to
- finish my A-Levels
- play less & do more
- work on side project
- learn lots of new programming stuff
- have a great time (making my gf happy <3)1 -
that BS thing you do when your too lazy to code and just copied a code from an existing class and renamed the vars even if it does not work or not being used just to show your boss that your working hard as f*
2 -
You know you should tidy up some space when your ssd has more space left then your hard drive
I still have a second hard drive, but I'm too lazy to move either my steam games or my programs over there...
The time will hit me when the last GB has been used2 -
Don't you hate it when the designer uses a blend mode on a visual inside Photoshop or Sketch. I mean, I can't export this for web...4
-
Disciplined to name a folder as 'Folder' in Windows and Lazy to name as 'folder' in Linux.
*Not wanting to press 'shift' key everytime to access.1 -
Not sure if I don't know how to manage time properly, lazy, bad or just inexperienced.
I need a "How to get shit done faster" tutorial.2 -
When I forget to put a small project I'm working on onto my USB or the cloud so I can't access it when I'm on the go. :'(
-
Looks like using another language to develop a separate process on the system is too much of a mind blow to my boss.
The look on his face when I tried to suggest such thing made me realize it will not be worth the time explaining the benefits of using the right tool for the job.1 -
Funny thing I like to do sometimes that I learned from the movie called Office Space:
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. -
I finish at my current role on Thursday
Really can't be bothered to create more work for myself.
I'm basically doing the occasional work and browsing DevRant :) -
As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.
My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.
AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.
AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.
AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.
AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!
AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*
Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!! -
Guys do you ever finish your side-projects??
I have almost 5 incomplete side-projects, i start something with great passion but lose motivation to complete them within hours.
Is it just me or do you guys experience the same?3 -
So I've seen this today:
GetRetr(GetChks(GetTrans(GetLatest(DateTime.Today.AddDays(-1)))));
No comments. .1 -
There's this one kid in my web design lab (I go to a technical highschool) and he always brags about using bootstrap and that's all he does is copy from the bootstrap library pisses me off!
-
Give up trying to change CS education since current formal education systems used since the prehistoric times are unable to teach CS properly. Instead, tell the students from day 1: "What you'll learn is either already outdated or will be outdated by the time you graduate. Be ready to learn stuff by yourselves or switch your major."
-
Alright, if you don't make apply a little feature, which you already use in your webpage, in your API, I'll have to fucking parse that shit.
Screw you, I'm sacrificing my free time... -
*thinking to myself*
Would it be faster to try to guess/remember the correct syntax and type out this line of code, or search for it on Google, then copy and paste it?1 -
Anyone else ever not feel like explaining something technical to someone in a different non-technical department or position, so you use a lot of techy terms and make it sound really confusing so you can move on with your life?1
-
!rant
I hate the feeling when you're creating an app then the designers provided you a mockups that aren't intuitive, it makes me lazy to code 😒2 -
That weird moment when you realise the damned developers before you haven't even opened any documentation yet were fast on dismissing the new product.
-
After a 3 weeks break from work and programming, the hardest thing is going back on track. It's day 4 that I have started 'working' and I barely finished any tasks. I keep thinking of the great time I spent on 3 weeks holiday. ;'(1
-
When it's early into the night
When the temperature is just right
When I'm surrounded by silence
And no distraction makes me defiance
When I'm feeling cozy and ready to read papers and program for my thesis
But I ruined the perfect night work genesis
BECAUSE I PROMISED TO GO TO MADAFUCKIN DINNER WITH FRIENDS
DAMNIT!
-
Been debugging a sp in oracle from 2 days a fucking sp of 2000 lines to see why it was not not giving desirable result. Turns out a fucking variable had a null value which was always satisfying the greater than condition an fucking up the flow. The fucking sp is being used since ages and nobody fucking noticed i mean what the actual fuck. And also the fucking indentation of the code how the fuck are u supposed to know which if ends where i mean come on put some fucking comments to your fucking code if u are gonna make it like it is gonna be the ultimate fucking sp which is being used god only know how many places.
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Automate is a great app...
(Scroll to last paragraph for a question if you wanna skip the faff)
Semi addicted to a time waster mobile game that has micro transactions. Yet you can get free ingame currency by watching ads over and over.
Using automate i managed to 'automate' the process of "watch add. Click ok. Repeat"
Now when i sleep or idle ill just let it rake up some cash. Sadly it isnt full proof as sometimes (1 out of 20 times) it fails to run the ad and that breaks ot all. But restsrting it is easy and thats another 20 cash!
What have you done to skip tedious work for something trivial or some trivial gain but felt good you did it anyways?5 -
Ask beginning dev to make it a property, so it can be changed easily to "DRFP01" and perhaps something else without the need of a deploy.
Lazy dev just commits "DRFP10" 😒
2 -
How do you guys deal with really stupid PMs? I had one ask me 3xs to call the client and send emails because he's lazy and doesn't know how to be a PM + he's dumber than a box of freaking rocks.5
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I honestly think that a company as big as Snapchat, that focuses their entire business idea around using the phone cameras, should be less lazy. I mean why the F do they not use the camera modules on Android phones but instead simply takes screenshots of the preview? Makes the pictures look horrible, no matter the phone camera...
-
Dem feels when you cba setting up a project locally but want to use Git anyway for when you can be arsed... new repo once it's in a better place!
3 -
I casually solved a problem in some private code at work today that I didn't manage to fix the previous two evenings.
Then I forget to push the changes and remembered at home that I turned off my work computer which normally I never turn off so that I could TeamViewer into it (I don't have VPN
access).
Wanted to work on that code this weekend 😒
(Well, we were in a "progession session" meeting right before leaving the office so I kind of forgot about it because of that) -
Ticket: implement compression algorithm to crypto object x
Details: object to big, we must devise a way to compress it. A deflate algorithm should be added here, yada yada yada we did not have the time Yara yada...
Go see crypto provider's documentation... It has compression options... -_-
You lazy fucking stack overflow copy question dimwits!!! Jesus fucking Christ! This reached production like this shit, I've got clients complaining of the size of the payload because you are a bunch of lazy fucks who can't even read simple documentation!!!
I want to kill someone for wasting my time and patience... Don't call me for this kind of crap... I have better things to do!
I mean, the time it took you to write the ticket should suffice... -
My project late for 2 weeks to deliver to our client cause of my dev,
Me: When you will finish your task?
Dev: this weekend, it’s only bla bla bla
But he never finish his task on time.
I am plan to cut $100 from his bonus to buy new chair for us, what do you think? Or any idea?
PS: My dev will see this rant8 -
I'm a beginner web developer - and I've run out of motivation / inspiration.
I'm a lazy teen who wants to be a web developer. Everyone and then I will start some project - and probably never finish it 100%. These last weeks I am really out of motivation or inspiration to do anything. I've learned a lot of things and I want to make something, I wanna test my skills. So - is there any place I can seek for inspiration on Front end web development? Or just if you need some help with any front end project - contact me.10 -
That feeling when you were sick as shh and almost good now after eating good pepperoni sausages and wine, suddenly getting energy and reminiscing about : (1. Biggest priority)
1. Am I really going to play with code side project it's Saturday
2. Nah I'm still going to play Dota or wow or idk
3. Laying in bed devranting and telling to myself am I that tired and lazy to do the above ones? Nah it's just socializing
4. Laying in the bed turning the phone display down ?
Yeah tough choices probably get some wine and do some music idk man -
Dr Robotnik has to be a java dev... Bloated, lazy, never leaves his seat, occasionally garbage collecting his messy desk
-
sitting alone on my desk for 5 fu****g days making my agency's landing page. Replaced all lorem shit ipsum with my feelings. Pray for my lazy co-workers
3 -
We all have that guy in the team who everyone loves because he is such a laugh, but doesn't do shit and we have to work extra to be able to barely meet the deadline4
-
Not the worst but kinda recent,
Me and my partner wrote a cool distributed service and tested it carefully on both windows and linux.
The course staff failed to run it, and guess what, it's our responsibility that their configuration is fucked up and we lost precious points in our grade due to that. All with a full backup of the responsible professor.
Luckily it's my last ever course and I don't give a sh*t.1 -
I get tired of people complaining about rails "magic" it's annoying. Ok we get it, you have never taken the time to understand it's naming conversation or looked under the hood.
-
Me : Here, a list with multiple strings, do your job, Foreach block
Code : *do only one iteration*
that code is lazier than me3 -
You know what sucks when you are in school? When you're writing a fucking test tomorrow about DSL and your fucking teacher is teaching a new fucking topic ONE FUCKING DAY BEFOR THE FUCKING TEST AND THAT TOPIC IS VPN AND ITS COMPLETLY IRRELEVANT TO YOUR FUCKING TEST! And worst of all: we are writing 2 other tests on Operating Systems and LCD Displays too! WHAT THE FUCK HOW SHOULD I LEARN ALL THIS SHIT7
-
Why don't you devRant open a new tab when I click a link?
I don't want to right click to open in a new tab ):6 -
Trying to figure out the use case for a random stackoverflow question.
Well ...
At least they are honest, I guess?
-
When you're having to add BS/hackey conditionals to your code because the other dev is too damn lazy to fix their code.
-
So today I wanted to keep going in my project, did nothing in the morning had to do market and came back tired (didn't sleep enought last night) so tried to rest (couldn't because had to help in the kitchen with the lunch), had lunch then take a nap, nap evolved to a nice sleep, woke up @1600, got out to deliver a ddr3, came back @1700, wife asked to get burguers for dinner... went to buy dinner, watched a movie (gold) has sex... and now I'm writing this rant'... so coded nothing... now I'm playing bf4 just because fuck it I'm not sitting in my desktop now....
So have you ever wanted to do something in your project and couldn't because external reasons didn't allow you?9 -
When you have no time to learn by code snippet, you'd have to copy and paste it rather than writing it line by line.
-
Colleague from a remote office emails me to ask what version of some tooling is installed on a build machine. Generally I wouldn't mind, but for the fact they're literally sat next to said build machine in the remote office. I mean... why get up and look yourself, when you can just IM somebody to look for you... right?
-
Am I the only one always comming up with solutions for problems not programmed yet, being curious whether it works but being too lazy to actually implement and test it?2
-
What are you supposed to do in an environment where your peers can't take criticism on the code and their approach to problem solving? They like to take shortcuts which end of making the software less maintainable. Is it worth to convince them to use best practices and be labeled as a bad guy who keeps on ranting about stuff they don't understand?2
-
It's late, I can't sleep and in a few hours I have to get up again. Shit.
And devRant is suggesting Tags.. some weird Tags :D -
Websites that have a password length limit that's way too short and/or don't allow symbols.
Example, I think EA has a password limit to 15 characters and doesn't allow spaces, underscores or even symbols, meaning that your password must be only letters and numbers, which is quite unsecure. -
Just found a few methods in the same file which does the same task written by different devs just because they did not know a method already existed in the first place. How tough is it for them to do a grep on the file?1
-
So i started writing a long ass rant and then i got busy followed by getting lazy and i feel the rant has lost its meaning now :/
-
Was debugging a php project (for a friend) the header(location) wasn't working for some reason, and I didn't want to go through his 1000 lines of code to see where the trouble was, so I just inserted JavaScript to redirect the page to a location he wanted.
Now he thinks I'm a genius😂😂 -
So basically a client's website still works on PHP 5.4. I manage the site's content which works on an old server that takes around 5-6 seconds each time I work on the backend (WordPress).
Asked the client's sysadmin to upgrade but he doesn't want in case some old and non updated plugin would break the site. (Which did about a year ago and I had to fix it).
Feels like working on a minefileld. -
I get so tired of people hating on PHP, Javascript and promoting Python or C#/Java.
Python is basically Perl with slightly different syntax plus has py2/py3 issues. And suffers from pip like js does from npm.
Java/C# started as application languages, while PHP started in web servers (again from Perl but at least it now has full object support). So comparing apples and oranges is one thing.
Another one is that people don't seem to know much about PHP / js (and tbh not even about the languages they are promoting) when they try to hate. That just comes off as lazy and borderline idiotic. Don't be that guy.
If you have had a bad experience, maybe you need to open the documentation instead of copying code from stack overflow.
Again, lazy and unprofessional.
Devs are supposed to be able to find the most efficient solution, that takes as little code as possible, not as little time from them when they arent familiar with the subject.
Damn Im angry right now, this rant really worked me up! :D6 -
“I forgot to tell you” - a backend dev who forgot to tell me about some changes in the prices a day before we submit our site to the client
-
Am I the only one to fix incrementally worse issues with the wrong approach, only to do it right in the end (with minimal research and coding) - being left with 1000 unnecessary workarounds to remove :( happened over the last week or so with a personal Vue project...
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needed to find something on my desk but too lazy to get up. made a route and a view in laravel to display a blank white page to illuminate my desk lol4
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So I'm tasked with creating a single sign on link using documentation from the third party we are logging into. So far so good.
Well they don't support some of the fields our users will need--that we don't want to support (otherwise why use a third-party?).
Their solution is to make us the system of record so that when a user goes through the single sign on we pass this info as well. But it needs to be editable on their side well--because they won't give us an API for our system of record to update their side.
That's right only a user signing on from our system will update their side. Tough luck admins on our side. You get double duty due to the poor business decision to work with a company with lazy devs. -
A particular Computer science lecturer sent me an email for a particular assignment result is posted on a notice board at uni. 2 weeks after exams/ into holiday period. Are u that fucking lazy! Just send me the god damn results. Far out
-
Every time I google something about a specific integrationbetween two things and I can't find anything I always get two feelings at once:
- I'm the only person who tought about this, wow, i'm so unique
- I'm the only person who tought about this, maybe there is another way -
This might be helpful for lot of us here. How to undo the damage of sitting - http://artofmanliness.com/2014/08/...
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