This is gold. This developer has a bold captcha solution.

Most of semi active Github projects be like...

I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..

Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.

But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!

When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested

But, yay... I finally got them..

When you try and edit a CSS file you did 3years ago.

If you're going to bother to detect that my input is without hyphens, then you can certainly insert them for me too.

Best Part of beeing a dev is that i don't have to dress well at all, sneakers and hoodie are fine, even in meetings :-)

*Lazy Friend has IntelliJ and Eclipse*
*Lazy Friend using Notepad++*
Me: Why don't you use IntelliJ? Its debugger really helps..
LF: It takes too much time to start, I don't have that much time..
*continues staring at his screen and using his mind debugger*

It's kinda funny when he just sits and stares at his screen after saying that he doesn't have any time..

It took way less time to find the (a?) bug when he finally used the debugger..

In high school, we had to choose between sports or computer science. I didn't like to play sports and now I'm a programmer.

OH CRAP.

THE LIVE GITHUB LAZINESS COUNT HAS HIT 40 MILLION!!!

Is this common?

Found another gem from government's website

Lazy motherfuckers (╭ರ_•́) (凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!

When you want to be a godly programmer but all you do on your free time is watch movies and porn. :(

Boss assigned me a task on Google Docs:

Boss: "Please remove this line"

Me: "What!? You're already there! How hard is it to fucking select the fucking sentence with your fucking touchpad and press the fucking delete key on your fucking keyboard!? Why assign me with such a fucking waste of time and fucking trivial task!?"

Dear Chrome,

I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.

No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.

Your abusive friend,

-chappjc

Projects

My app has been removed from playstore and all it takes to add it back is by adding a privacy policy.

It's been 2 weeks now..

Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out

Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓

Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out

Me: saved me, woohoo 😎

*Few minutes later*

Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"

Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂

@dfox Feature request
Could we have fully displayed rants ? Maybe as a setting disabled by default ?
I mean sometimes i'd like to relax and just mindlessly scroll, and having to tap to read longer rant and then tap back is, well, too much.
Especially when the rant ia only like 2 words above limit.

I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.

Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!

I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.

Builds various WordPress websites and calls themselves a Web Developer........ Just no.

I'll probably die sleeping!!

> needs to do a long task with many repeated steps
> writes a script to do it
> writing the script takes more time than actually doing the task
but the satisfaction of seeing that script working :)

This could be a repost.

I don’t know.
I don’t care.

Enjoy.

Stop bitching about having to write comments, they are important whether you like it or not. Trust me nobodys code is "that good" 😒

Everytime I have to execute several commands to do something, I tell myself:
I will write a script for that.
But now I have no time.
I will do it the next time.

I will never write these scripts.

Tons of idea, too lazy to do one..

I just wanna smash their head with a metal chair then shove their own keyboard up their fucking ass... Sideways while they choke on a rusty knife...

Lazy cunts

Hhhmmmmmmm a useless piece of shit like always it is then

Thanks ssh!

Because of you I don't have to leave the bed to run commands on my Linux server(laptop) sitting on my desk.

Are you fucking kidding me? One of many annyoning websites/apps in the Philippines.

Laziest thing!!!??? You better ask me when I was not lazy. Framework here framework there, library here library there.

npm install 29282818 packages

Bye

CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".

So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.

At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.

A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:

"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.

"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!

I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!

It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.

When Lazy

My smart watch just reminded me to get my lazy ass out of my chair and move some.
I picked up my coffee cup, drank a sip.
That satisfied it.
Lazyness : 1 - Technology: 0

Opening a documentation page to only find:

// Todo

FML.

PM emailed me a document from a customer to distribute it to the right people.

Me (in my head): WTF? You are the PM, that's your fucking job.

But I opened the document and read it. Some blah about requirements we discussed with the customer earlier. And the request to sign it as agreement on the requirements. The customer even put the names of the people at the end, he suspected to be the right ones.

So I send an email back to PM that this is project stuff, not my business. Case closed for me.

Half an our later PM enters my office, telling me he thought I was the right guy for this topic and he didn't know who else could be interested in it.

So I told him that this document is about defining project requirements and that he could have sent it to the people that are mentioned at the end of the document.

Turned out he didn't even opened the document. F...A... Wasted my time instead of doing his job.

Guess next time I'll be reading his documents at as good as he does.

does anyone else have days where they just can't be bothered to make anything, and days where they get a massive amount done?

Found a post by G.R. on Linkedln:
"A lazy programmer is also often a good programmer:

- Writes little code to achieve the goal
- Automates all boring jobs
- He does not develop things he does not know yet
- Sleeps at night, then make sure that if the shutdown occurs, the system will restart
- He knows he forgets things, then writes readable and not cryptic code
- Try to reuse what he did
- He does not like copy-paste (too boring to keep)

It takes training to be lazy"

Love this quote

Asked my co-worker if he had made a class to use for ftp connections.

He said he had.

This is what I found. FFS @michal78!

>on laptop in kitchen
>music playing on workstation in office
>fiancee asks to turn it off

>ssh workstation -t 'sudo poweroff'

It's like 6ft away...

Installed an SSH server on my desktop so I can use the shell from my laptop...while still sitting in front of my desktop. Keyboard is less than a foot beyond my reach because leaning back, but laptop is in reaching distance.

Still have that SSH server up for mainly the same reason. Decided to also open it to WAN so I can do shit while I'm not home too.

1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.

Stories of a lazy programmer...

To convert an int number to a string I do this:-

String s=10+"";

Oh boy 😂

Source: nixCraft

Am I the only developer here that is too lazy to design and code out my own website? Instead, I just purchase a theme and install in on a wordpress.

It feels like i brought dishonour to my family.

When you close a browser tab and realise you still need it !😯
Why doesn't ctrl +z work here !!!

Should have started ranting when stressballs were 100++ and stickers were 10

I’m the embodiment of lazy...

I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.

Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.

Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).

Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫

That moment when writing code to perform a one time task ends up taking more time than just doing the task manually

Here's one to all the tabs you open up to "read later"

Saw that on the company website.. to lazy to use URL-Rewriting, just did that *OMG*

Rant
Fucking websites that dont host the latest version of their own software

Thanks for making me download a 5gb installer just to make me download another 2gb in updates assholes

programmed a three page website at 2 am in my room, on my phone, because i was too lazy to walk to the next room and get my laptop

Answered dfox's what's your weekend project question with "gotta hack some open source app for my needs". In reality, watched the cutest possum and Snoop Dogg's wild life commentary on YouTube is all I did on my computer.

YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!

I have nothing against teaching and showing someone starting in this field how to do things but FOR FUCKS SAKE, PUT INTEREST IN IT, I WON'T DO YOUR FUCKING JOB, I HAVE MY JOB, YO DO YOURS.

Jesus...fucking Christ, these kind of people always get on my nerves.

Today, I reached a new level of laziness.

I lied down to watch a movie and I was too lazy to copy the movie from my external hard drive which was in the other side of the bed.

What did I do? I've downloaded the movie once again and watched.

When you have a killer app idea for years and you a lazy @sshole for working on it, but always dreaming with it.
"If I make the app I will be a millionaire"

Recruiters at it again...

when you try to tab-complete your password...

'This basically sums up everything I know about sports

A game that produces content for itself.

You know what does my fucking head in?

Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.

Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.

If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.

A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.

A new junior developer diet: treat y'o self with a candy of choice every time you finish a project that you've been working at during your "free" time. Guaranteed fat loss. Coz' you won't be eating any. And you're lazy.

That feeling of accomplishment when your code runs and you are the only person who knows that you copied the main parts from Stackoverflow.

When the developer is lazy to type error messages.

sudo chmod -R 777

Tl;Dr - It started as an escape, carried on as fun, then as a way to be lazy, and finally as a way of life. Coding has defined and shaped my entire life from the age of nine.

When I was nine I was playing a game on my ZX spectrum and accidentally knocked the keyboard as I reached over to adjust my TV. Incredibly parts of it actually made a little sense to me and got my curiosity. I spent hours reading through that code, afraid to turn the Spectrum off in case I couldn't get back to it. Weeks later I got hold of a book of example code to copy out to do various things like making patterns on the screen. I was amazed by it. You told it what to do, and it did it! (don't you miss the days when coding worked like that?) I was bitten by the coding bug (excuse the pun) and I'd got it bad! I spent many late nights on that thing, escaping from a difficult home life. People (especially adults) were confusing, and in my experience unpredictable. When you did things wrong they shouted at you and threatened to take you away, or ignored you completely. Code never did that. If you did something wrong, it quietly let you know and often told you exactly what was wrong. It wasn't because of shifting expectations or a change of mood or anything like that. It was just clean logic, simple cause and effect.

I get my first computer a year later: an IBM XT that had been discarded by a company and was fitted with a key on the side to turn it on. With the impressive noise it made it really was like starting an engine. Whole most kids would have played with the games, I spent my time playing with batch scripts and writing very simple text adventures. And discovering what "format c:" does. With some abuse and threatened violence I managed to get windows running on it. Windows 2.1 I think it was.

At 12 I got a Gateway 75 running Windows 95. Over the next few years I do covered many amazing games: ROTT, Doom, Hexen, and so on. Aside from the games themselves, I was fascinated by the way computers could be linked together to play together (this was still early days for the Web and computers networked in a home was very unusual). I also got into making levels for Doom, Heretic, and years later Duke Nukem 3D (pretty sure it was heretic; all I remember is the nightmare of trying to write levels entirely by code!). I enjoyed re-scripting some of the weapons and monsters to behave differently. About this time I also got into HTML (I still call this coding, but not programming), C, and java. I had trouble with C as none of the examples and tutorial code seemed to run properly under a Windows environment. Similar for my very short stint with assembly. At some point I got a TI-83 programmable calculator and started rewriting my old batch script games on it, including one "Gangster Lord" game that had the same mechanics as a lot of the Facebook games that appeared later (do things, earn money, spend money to buy stuff to do more things). Worried about upcoming exams, I also made a number of maths helper apps, including a quadratic equation solver that gave the steps, and a fake calculator reset to smuggle them into my exams. When the day came I panicked and did a proper reset for fear of being caught.

At 18 I was convinced I was going to be a professional coder as I started a degree in Computer Science. Three months later I dropped out after a bunch of lectures teaching what input and output devices were and realising we were only going to be taught Java and no C++. I started a job on the call centre of a big company, but was frustrated with many of the boring and repetitive tasks we had to do. So I put my previous knowledge to use, and quickly learned VBA to automate tasks. It wasn't long before I ended up promoted to Business Analyst where I worked on a great team building small systems in Office, SAS, and a few other tools.

I decided to retrain in psychology, so left the job I was in and started another degree. During my work and placements my skills came in use a number of times to simplify and automate tasks. I finished my degree, then took a job as a teaching assistant while I worked out what I wanted to do next and how to pay for it. Three years later I've ended up IT technican at the school, responsible for the website, teaching a number of Computing lessons each week, and unofficial co-coordinator for Computing as a subject. I also run a team of ten year old Digital Leaders who I am training in online safety and as technical experts; I am hoping to inspire them to a future in coding. In September I'll be starting teacher training with a view to becoming a Computing specialist teacher. Oh, and I'm currently doing a course in Android Development in my free time.

And this all started with an accidental knock on the keyboard of a ZX Spectrum.

Do you feel me?

Am I the only one who keeps adding articles to pocket and seldom checks it

Procrastination..

I mean literally.

Argh... Fuck you with a rusty pole while monkeys hanging on them. Why the fuck did you not take the extra five minutes that would have been taken to restrict that fucking datepicker to not allow users to pick a date before the current day??

Thanks to you asshole I've managed to book my accommodation from February 2nd to 4th instead of March.

Now I don't have anywhere to sleep while I must go there for the weekend because I have some course to attend to.

Abso-fucking-lutely great.

"yes, a university degree isn't necessary to become successful, but that doesn't mean you can waste your time playing games or watching youtube for half a day.

stop complaining about the system and get your ass to work. do something, anything. stop fucking around with your life."

...is what i told a friend and he hasn't messaged me for 2 weeks. i see him on discord all the time, playing runescape or some shit.

i'm 24 and he's 22. he dropped out because he was too lazy to go to uni every 2 days.

I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.

Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.

D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.

As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.

Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.

My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.

It's always the same story.

"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".

...

Another hour goes by.

If only I could keep to my own convictions.

I just explained to the 'lead developer' at my job what a testing environment is.

This happens too frequently... I turn off my computer but then I sit in front of it for hours on my phone. It's 2:30 AM, go to sleep, me.

Lazy days.

This is literally me all the time, :P

Lazy developers.

Lazy developer

I have become so lazy that I write things like
int reservations = getReservations()
and then use the IDEs quickfix to change int to Arraylist<Reservation>
Saves me roughly 15 characters but its always worth it :D

Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.

Writing a script to do my job

If you CC: me on an email I won't read it because I'm clearly not the intended recipient and I'm not going to do your work for you in trying to work out why I should give a fuck.

If you wish me to actually *give* said fuck then send me my own fucking email explaining why I should give a rat's anus about your shitty little problems.

And, if you try to use "but I copied you on the email" as an excuse for your incompetence in a meeting, I will eviscerate you on the spot. You will be looking at your small intestine while I ask your assembled co-workers if they have any other business.

CC: basically means you have no respect for my time. So, if you do it, I'm coming for you...and your family...and your friends...and all the people you know on Linked-In...

What is the laziest that you have done?
I had to transfer some photos from my phone to PC but the USB cable was in the other room, so I uploaded it on my Google drive from my phone and then downloaded it on my PC
:P

git commit -m ‘minor fixes’

Am I the only backend developer around here who doesn't enjoy building UIs and tries to get it done ASAP just to go back to backend code?

my App's UI looks ugly as shit because of this.

I should really write documentation for my old projects...
Meh. I'll do it tomorrow...

When you're supposed to make a pcb for this SMD component, but when you etch you realize it's the wrong footprint.
Ended up soldering enamel wire tomthe chip.
hope it works

I hate fucking fellow students that don't do anything in collaborative projects...

SSH is the most basic thing a web developer should know.

Some people are just lazy to learn something and all they do is give hard time to other people.

That moment when you know your code can be much shorter and cleaner but you just keep typing because you're too lazy to restructure.

Me: I need this task to be finished before 6 PM.
Lazy Me ( Whispering ): huh, I didn't say today.

Dev 1: Hey, so people's computers seem to crash when someone tries to use a great deal of CPU power or RAM with a single large process, since we are still severely limited by the state of software/hardware interaction in the 1990s.

Dev 2: Why not set the max clock speed at 60% and then double the price? Nobody will know.

David Attenborough: And at this moment, the modern Macintosh Computer was born.

What a lazy fuck.

This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.

What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?

The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?

Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.

"Can you please grep ... in the server?"

What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?

What a waste of time.

The state of engineering teachers in India is pathetic

Meeting with a co-worker who is supposed to do a code analysis on a large legacy project. Actually, HER project - she inherited it already years ago, and the original devs aren't in the company anymore.

Her: customer is asking this and that analysis.
Me: easily two weeks.
Her: but who will do that?
Me: you of course.
Her: but I don't know most of the code.
Me: me neither.
Her: and I don't know the protocols.
Me: google them. I'd have to do the same.

Really, I told her to google shit, which I consider as quite a slap for a co-worker. Basically, she tried to offload a complex analysis because she just wants the low effort parts of the job.

Won't happen. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!

Absolutely fucking hate it when someone sends a word document for me to fill it up, and it has the worst fucking structure ever. Everything is here and there, bunch of hacky macros and full of other bullshit.

What a lazy fucking piece of shit!

I know whats wrong, I know how to fix it, but it would require too much energy so trying to find a different way to fix it

I swear, the next time I hear a web developer say to me: "Yeah let's pretend as if the security hole in the website isn't there, because truth be told, i cannot be bothered to fix it."

And it is monday again. Have been helping a friend yesterday decorate the walls of her new appartment. Rather stay in bed than go to work ...

that moment when you get an idea about awesome app to publish in the play store, but you remember how many other 100 ideas that are waiting for your move to write code, designing. so you give up, now you have 101 ideas waiting...

Dear clients, its Monday, please calm down

#wk126 yeah I'm late, I was too lazy to post in time.
Made an IFTTT trigger that WakesOnLAN my desktop using my Echo.

"Alexa, trigger my pc."

When the change log says "fixed bugs and improved performance" only to find the entire application has been redesigned.

Sat in a McDonald's watching two staffers try to mop a floor.

I'll be honest, I'm very close to taking it away and doing it myself.

I cannot stand "busy work" do it properly or don't do it at all.

Guy I work with messaging me: Hey could you check my SQL syntax to get the date part for the month and year.

Me thinking: Ughhh this is going to be something stupid I know it. Why doesn't he just check it himself?

I check it... 2 queries that are very, very, very... simple... and similar except one returns last year (2017) and the other returns the current year (2018)

Me: Not sure what your issue is... I'm not getting any syntax errors. They are executing

Him: Well it shouldn't show 2017, it should show 2018

Me thinking: learn to debug you lazy fuck

Me: Well you're adding a -1 to your year...(Not sure why your even adding to it if your just getting the current month and year)

Him: Oh you're correct! That makes sense

Waste of my time

Don't you just hate it when you're getting fat because you're a developer who is lazy to go to the gym then start developing some messed up health problems and always feel shitty. Smh

Why do I feel this way. I lost motivation for programming and I spend atleast 4 hours a day playing games.

Client request: POST /user/login
Server response: "Login working bitches"
Client: if (response === "Login working bitches"){
//sign in
}

How to force your self to write unit tests for your personal projects:
1. Go to a public place
2. Forget to bring your phone cable & never install a simulator because you are lazy af
3. Profit!

===Development Crisis===
(~˘▾˘)~ Lazy Mode: On

a) Rewrite 100 lines of complex code to over 300 lines to hopefully solve issue.

OR

b) Use depreciated legacy module to solve problem instantly.

Decisions, decisions....

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I hate the feeling you get when you do a lengthy, drooling task that once finished got you nowhere.

My day was mostly productive for a Sunday, woke up late as all Sundays, spent the afternoon writing a proposal and exercising when I saw a notification for a homework for tonight at 12.

A research paper about Dijkstra's philosopher problem, 8 pages minimum. To be honest I've seen the problem a long time ago while studying C++ and I had the theory down and that is my issue, it becomes inherently boring and useless in my head. Is in this situations that my mind gets lazy.

I wrote the first 3 pages in half an hour but I was done, I started revising the proposal and fixed a calculation error, checked Rust's take on the philosophers issue and decided to save it for winter break along with learning Rust (although got some basics down), made rough budget approximations for the next 3 months, lost myself a little bit on deep house music (notable tracks tadow from masego, nevermind - Dennis Lloyd and gold - Chet faker), etc...all in all it took me 3 hours more to finish the assignment, including breaks and dinner.

I am working on a lot of stuff lately and my main project's sprint ends this Tuesday and it pisses me off, after all that I learnt nothing new, got nowhere with my project and will probably get 80 because Google docs has no margin setting. Worse than being lazy for fun is inevitably being lazy for being compelled to do low priority tasks by your head's standards.

"I made a PWA, I'm a mobile app developer"
Me: No fuck off, you're a lazy cunt that doesn't want to learn native development.

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

Mixing lazy loading with event-based code == events won't be handled because the class won't subscribe to events until it's initialized hours after startup

Thank you, my dear lazy-loading lover, who keeps introducing hard-to-spot bugs everywhere. I wish your hand was as lazy as your code, that would have saved hours of debugging time.

git commit messages

at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"

personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"

A couple of weeks ago I had an internship. I worked there with a classmate. We had a simple assignment, but since we're noobs when it comes to web applications (and because you don't learn that in school), we even had a hard time preparing.

Finally, I... I mean "we" decided to use React because it's close to the way we learned to solve problems in school. I asked him to implement a page with a date picker/calendar. I even searched for a repo that. 2 Days later he was still not able to implement it, he experimented with the code, but he
1. didn't even read the readme, just copied the tutorial expecting it to work
2. Didn't even look at the logic behind it.
3. Demanded to use this other repo with less functionality

10-30 minutes should have been more than enough. Instead, I wasted time telling him to read and code properly. He refused the second (and probably also the first), because "Why should I care? We'll be here for 3 weeks and then we're done with this"

Guess whom I'll avoid in any possible group project

No fucking excuses! You should know how to reconfigure your programming work environment from scratch!

An example of today's generation:
My little cousin 22 years old wants to get into BI Dev. I tell him to read a certain book. The book has practice examples and various things that are hands on.

What does he do?
He READS the book and is like, "ask me any question and I know the answer". So I'm like, "fine, what's the structure of a basic SQL statement?", after some hard thought he's like, "SELECT * FROM?" I'm like, "ok.....how would you filter that?" and he's like, "you got me man........no clue".

What didn't he do?
Practice.

I mean.........come on.

Lazy Dev

1. Go to Github for you
2. Download the 'codes'
3. Send them as a pdf to you when the code is there in the repo.
4. Write you a step by step tutorial when there's a clear README.

YOU LAZY MOTHERFUKCER!

My top 3:

* Inline styling instead of creating a class.
* slapping the new class at the end of a 700 LOC CSS file.
* Using !important

"We’re not insulting Larry [Wall] by saying he’s lazy; laziness is a virtue. The wheelbarrow was invented by someone
who was too lazy to carry things; writing was invented by someone who was too lazy to memorize; Perl was
invented by someone who was too lazy to get the job done without inventing a whole new computer language."
- footnote from Learning Perl, by Randal L. Schwartz, brian d foy, and Tom Phoenix

I hate people that sends an email with a question and when you fail to reply within their arbitrary deadline (not in the email) they email you the same question but copying your boss and your boss's boss when they could've literally just walk 20 steps to ask the same question

Too lazy to implement DB Transaction. I hope I won't get fired for this.

That poor rant, missed one vote. Am not scrolling back, lazy mode on.

How do you reply to multiple people in a rant without having to mention their names explicitly?

Click reply on the first person, go back, click reply on the next person, go back and so on!

Ah fucking hell.
I hate it when my boss goes the path of least resistance to implement something.

Of course declaring a class property with the "any" type (TypeScript) is a fucking lot easier than to properly write an interface for it and declare the property with that type.

Thank god I have holidays, otherwise I would hatepunch his fucking monitor. Twice.

Just created a batch file to delete a directory so that I don't have to right click and move my mouse all the way to delete and click it.

Also backend service down :P

So this just happened... This is a PR I just got, fucking lazy developers...

A few days ago I decided to learn C by writing a simple Minecraft clone. Guess who has less than 26¼ hours to do university exercises for two weeks. And It's not like I had double that time because of Christmas Holidays.

Some of us have co-worker who never wrote comment in their code.

Has anyone else noticed that the notifications screen's title is just "Notifs" even though it could've been "Notifications"?

I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^

A dev joins the project. I help him set up, and he has everything up and running. I give him a task to fix a CSS issue, I even tell him what needs to be done. Almost 4 hours later I begin to wonder what's taking him so long and what is he up to. He finally sends me a pull request with just one line of code changed, and leaves for the day, over 45 mins earlier than supposed to.

The floor is Not Getting Shit Done Before Deadline

So instead of being productive today. I got bored and did this.

"We don't need to design this page, we'll just wing it in dev. It's not an important page."

result: 47 jiras about choice of fonts, alignment, padding, missing images that were never provided, how it looks shit on mobile and can we make it black instead?

I really couldn't help but laugh when I found this gem of an error message. I mean, I'd literally know just as much if it served me a blank page.

If you can't describe your own god damned error message without calling it 'generic', IT IS NOT A GOOD ERROR MESSAGE!

I'm glad they informed me it's an application error though. HERE I WAS THINKING MY TOASTER WAS THE PROBLEM.

So, Instagram put that "Be the first to comment" as a part of the background on the image itself. Whenever I scroll past comments that is visible in between the gaps. They couldn't even render a simple text view if there are no comments. And, I thought I was the only one who uses lazy hacks to make things work.

What's your extent of laziness?

The power to actually code instead of being lazy

That feeling when you automate something and let the script run while being away from the computer.

Docker swarm. All i want is a 'zero-downtime' system and everytime i try to set it up there's three damn things missing. Load balencer, service updater, and a good distributed storage. I finally got pissed off and am working on those but fuck it's been how fucking long docker has been out why the hell somebody else hasn't done this yet.

I have a big progress / update meeting to lead my team tomorrow.

Our investor has "ideas" on features and things that will significantly change the information we have to include in our code.

We are suppose to launch Jan,1 2019

He says I'll Call you tonight to give you the details so you will be ready for tomorrows meeting. .........
............
...........
yep never calls.
Fucking Awesome! can't wait to tell my team tomorrow. "glad you all came in today, looks like we have to change somethings I'm just not sure what yet."

Maybe I'll order pizza and beer to the office and we will all play video games until he shows up. and say if you aren't going to take this seriously why should we.

Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!

How to be motivated again?

Ugh! So boring writing the same thing over and over! So instead I wrote a ruby script to generate some C# code for me!

Honestly...I just make excuses to do stuff with Ruby 😂

Apparently, too lazy to define a function.

Client asked me to complete the job as fast as I can and, here I am, waiting for the review of the latest version for the past 2 WEEKS.

Good thing, she paid up the entire amount beforehand. *Rubs hands in glee*

That I'm Not working on my personal projects after university or work and beeing to lazy to even start learning a new language.

I realised I was using my phone too much. Then I grouped apps randomly now I'm too lazy to find where is which app. 😎😎

I mistyped cap (from Capistrano) so often that I made an alias for it. Now bash history is full of... Crap. Literally.

My boss seen it once.... Luckily, he's already seen so many of my shenanigans that he didn't even care...

So yeah, I made an alias that changed one single character so I don't need to learn how to type.

crap staging deploy

When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.

Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.

I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.

I hate me.

Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.

Have good day.

To lazy to search for a new custom rom...

Gotta live with my laggy phone (Note 3)

Cool thing! Good work
@CozyPlanes

Who reads the ...[read more] rants?

Am I the only one who is just to lazy to order devrant stickers even if my posts have enough upvotes? :D
Don't get me wrong i love stickers!

The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.

I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀

I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?

One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".

If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.

Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB

I've been BSing my skillset for so long to myself, it's a veritable toolbox of mixed knowledge but no complete sets...

I wonder if it's too late for me to catch up or if I will ever actually complete any learning...

I am yet to finish learning

Html
CSS
PHP
Ruby
C#
ASM I can do i386 but not x86
VB
Pascal if you can believe
C
C++
Java
JS
Python
Powershell
Bash

My main skill is basically just remembering anything I do, including code syntax and example code fragments well enough to quote at people which makes me a lazy learner.

My email is just as valid if there is a whitespace at the end of it as if there wasn't.. ffs, just add a trim!

Is it just my preview or are there more rants with the topic "lazy"?
It's almost like devRant is trying to tell me something. 😐

!dev

Applied for passport renewal 1.5 months ago... No update yet

My friend applied for passport renewal yesterday from different state and received a message for printing in evening.

When you're in the zone, writing your genius down before you forget it, and you smartwatch reminds you to go stand and move around. 😑

My C64 Retro Game Dev book didn’t arrive today because the courier “couldn’t find your front door”.

Seriously?! 30+ orders in the past 6 months and this dumb fuck couldn’t find me?

I live at a goddamn museum, signposted all through the town.

dev vs QA rant (n + 1)

So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,

I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue

So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live

I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.

> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue

!Rant #lazy
I setup my local server so I can test my apps and to mount my partitions on my www folder in a folder named "mnt" with numbered folders for each mounted partition
So I can access and download my files to phone and other devices from all over the network :)
And even watch movies that are in my computer on my phone or tv
And when I want to sleep I usually watch a movie or one episode of series which is stored in my pc ,on my phone by this method in my bed 😅
So the thing is I'm too lazy to get out of bed and shut down the server and pc
So I setup this file so I can run commands on my PC from my phone 😅😂😂😂
192.168.1.110/server.php?cmd=shutdown now&psw=mypassword

Laziness is a mother of reusable code.

Me: No more coding on live sites this year!

Also me: [adds code to live site]

Refactor?
Is it another word for procrastination?

Test1, t2, 3...

#include "bits/stdc++.h" in every cpp program I've written till now😂

Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.

I was gonna try to be productive and program something today but instead I spent most of the day playing prison architect.

I need some motivation in my life.

Currently procrastinations bitch. Fucking hate it.

Don't you hate it when the designer uses a blend mode on a visual inside Photoshop or Sketch. I mean, I can't export this for web...

My worst experience with a designer was when one forgot to design the website mock up for 2 weeks... so I just did it myself. Thankfully I have a degree in both development & design and bullshited my way through it. We were swamped at the time so I wasnt too thrilled to be doing his job. He somehow still has a job here, even though he's lazy and his mockups suck. 🤐😵👎

Am I the only one doing this?

MOTHERDUCKER!

I've spent two days trying to make a LED control system in my room (basically controlling lights in my room).

The thing consists of an Arduino, a Bluetooth module (which i'm going to rant about), bunch of transistors.... yada, yada... you know the drill.

after getting all the parts necessary I figured out that if the lights are powered by a 9V adapter, and the Arduino Uno can be powered by 9V aswell. Maybe the Nano could do too.... 5 minutes of research shows that I can, just use the Vin pin on the Arduino.

And so I did, I wired everything up (quadruple check if there aren't any undesired connections)

It worked (or so I thought).
But the bluetooth isn't showing up. (I wired it up on the 5V pin, which it says that you SHOULD)

But after dismantling the thing and using a resistance meter I found out that there is 0 Ohms between Vin and 5V.

Now I ended up with a dead component because of some lazy motherducker who works at Arduino.

God why do you hate me so much when I try to do something on my own.

I seriously have no idea who to blame here.

Disciplined to name a folder as 'Folder' in Windows and Lazy to name as 'folder' in Linux.

*Not wanting to press 'shift' key everytime to access.

How can I contribute on github, I always say that I will yet I never do?Any tips?

Whem you'd rather create a completely different system from scratch for work than fix that one JIRA ticket 😐

"Sweet, I fixed story 1 and can commit! ...but issue 2 is pretty small, let me just work on that first so there's 1 pull request".

4 hours later, issue 2 not done yet, and I can't push push story 1 to QA until I finish it. I really need to stop doing that.

Getting a project from a client: It's quite easy. I'll finish it in a day.

Week 3: import express from 'express'