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I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..
Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.
But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!
When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested
But, yay... I finally got them..
18 -
If you're going to bother to detect that my input is without hyphens, then you can certainly insert them for me too.
8 -
Best Part of beeing a dev is that i don't have to dress well at all, sneakers and hoodie are fine, even in meetings :-)4
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*Lazy Friend has IntelliJ and Eclipse*
*Lazy Friend using Notepad++*
Me: Why don't you use IntelliJ? Its debugger really helps..
LF: It takes too much time to start, I don't have that much time..
*continues staring at his screen and using his mind debugger*
It's kinda funny when he just sits and stares at his screen after saying that he doesn't have any time..
It took way less time to find the (a?) bug when he finally used the debugger..7 -
In high school, we had to choose between sports or computer science. I didn't like to play sports and now I'm a programmer.4
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Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!
14 -
When you want to be a godly programmer but all you do on your free time is watch movies and porn. :(14
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Alright so here goes, I currently work at a promising startup. Absolutely love it; nice, hard-working colleagues but there's only a couple of us so we all have to wear a multitude of hats.
I don't mind being on support duty or helping out a customer with a technical question but one thing that really gets to me is lazy people.
We have some instructional videos (made in-house by yours truly) around certain functionality in our app which can't be simplified any further and they're condensed to about 50 seconds each.
I receive an email from a customer saying that he wants the instructions in screenshot form instead of watching the video because he 'detests' watching videos.
I must admit, I was a little hurt because he dismissed my videos so easily without even watching them. Just because he really doesn't like to watch videos? I was dumbfounded.
Me putting (most of) my rustled jimmies aside, I take about an hour to screenshot and document each step of the instructions and send them to the customer with a note: Be careful, if you scroll too fast it turns into a video.
I receive a response saying he doesn't like to watch videos because he is deaf but he did admit he had a chuckle.
Morale of the story lads, keep the sass in in your IDE's and out of your customer interactions.
True story.8 -
Dear Chrome,
I know it's ridiculous to have 50+ tabs open, but please - pretty please - just make it work for me. 300 MB/tab is starting to make Windows mad.
No, I will not close them. I might need that page I opened 4 months ago and was too lazy to bookmark.
Your abusive friend,
-chappjc
17 -
Boss assigned me a task on Google Docs:
Boss: "Please remove this line"
Me: "What!? You're already there! How hard is it to fucking select the fucking sentence with your fucking touchpad and press the fucking delete key on your fucking keyboard!? Why assign me with such a fucking waste of time and fucking trivial task!?"16 -
Junior dev: asks me an easy question cuz he's too lazy to figure it out
Me: listening, thinking he's gonna waste my time again 😓
Senior dev: eavesdrops and helps him out
Me: saved me, woohoo 😎
*Few minutes later*
Senior dev: "by the time you finished asking this question, you could have compiled the code yourself to see what happens"
Me: 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂4 -
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!18 -
I18n is short for internationalization because there is 18 letters between I and the last n. I love the laziness of developers.7
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> needs to do a long task with many repeated steps
> writes a script to do it
> writing the script takes more time than actually doing the task
but the satisfaction of seeing that script working :)7 -
Everytime I have to execute several commands to do something, I tell myself:
I will write a script for that.
But now I have no time.
I will do it the next time.
I will never write these scripts.4 -
Thanks ssh!
Because of you I don't have to leave the bed to run commands on my Linux server(laptop) sitting on my desk.8 -
I just wanna smash their head with a metal chair then shove their own keyboard up their fucking ass... Sideways while they choke on a rusty knife...
Lazy cunts
7 -
Laziest thing!!!??? You better ask me when I was not lazy. Framework here framework there, library here library there.
npm install 29282818 packages
Bye -
CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".
So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.
At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.
A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:
"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.
"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!
I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!
It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.8 -
My smart watch just reminded me to get my lazy ass out of my chair and move some.
I picked up my coffee cup, drank a sip.
That satisfied it.
Lazyness : 1 - Technology: 06 -
does anyone else have days where they just can't be bothered to make anything, and days where they get a massive amount done?3
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PM emailed me a document from a customer to distribute it to the right people.
Me (in my head): WTF? You are the PM, that's your fucking job.
But I opened the document and read it. Some blah about requirements we discussed with the customer earlier. And the request to sign it as agreement on the requirements. The customer even put the names of the people at the end, he suspected to be the right ones.
So I send an email back to PM that this is project stuff, not my business. Case closed for me.
Half an our later PM enters my office, telling me he thought I was the right guy for this topic and he didn't know who else could be interested in it.
So I told him that this document is about defining project requirements and that he could have sent it to the people that are mentioned at the end of the document.
Turned out he didn't even opened the document. F...A... Wasted my time instead of doing his job.
Guess next time I'll be reading his documents at as good as he does. -
>on laptop in kitchen
>music playing on workstation in office
>fiancee asks to turn it off
>ssh workstation -t 'sudo poweroff'
It's like 6ft away... -
Asked my co-worker if he had made a class to use for ftp connections.
He said he had.
This is what I found. FFS @michal78!
10 -
Found a post by G.R. on Linkedln:
"A lazy programmer is also often a good programmer:
- Writes little code to achieve the goal
- Automates all boring jobs
- He does not develop things he does not know yet
- Sleeps at night, then make sure that if the shutdown occurs, the system will restart
- He knows he forgets things, then writes readable and not cryptic code
- Try to reuse what he did
- He does not like copy-paste (too boring to keep)
It takes training to be lazy"
Love this quote11 -
1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.
Stories of a lazy programmer...11 -
Installed an SSH server on my desktop so I can use the shell from my laptop...while still sitting in front of my desktop. Keyboard is less than a foot beyond my reach because leaning back, but laptop is in reaching distance.
Still have that SSH server up for mainly the same reason. Decided to also open it to WAN so I can do shit while I'm not home too.4 -
I’m the embodiment of lazy...
I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.
Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.
Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).
Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫7 -
That moment when writing code to perform a one time task ends up taking more time than just doing the task manually6
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Answered dfox's what's your weekend project question with "gotta hack some open source app for my needs". In reality, watched the cutest possum and Snoop Dogg's wild life commentary on YouTube is all I did on my computer.3
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Rant
Fucking websites that dont host the latest version of their own software
Thanks for making me download a 5gb installer just to make me download another 2gb in updates assholes -
programmed a three page website at 2 am in my room, on my phone, because i was too lazy to walk to the next room and get my laptop7
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Today, I reached a new level of laziness.
I lied down to watch a movie and I was too lazy to copy the movie from my external hard drive which was in the other side of the bed.
What did I do? I've downloaded the movie once again and watched.3 -
Developer confession.
I always git push a new branch even though I know it will error as there's no upstream, just to copy the full git push with set upstream arguments from the error message.11 -
You know what does my fucking head in?
Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.
Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.
If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.
A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.6 -
A new junior developer diet: treat y'o self with a candy of choice every time you finish a project that you've been working at during your "free" time. Guaranteed fat loss. Coz' you won't be eating any. And you're lazy.4
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Tl;Dr - It started as an escape, carried on as fun, then as a way to be lazy, and finally as a way of life. Coding has defined and shaped my entire life from the age of nine.
When I was nine I was playing a game on my ZX spectrum and accidentally knocked the keyboard as I reached over to adjust my TV. Incredibly parts of it actually made a little sense to me and got my curiosity. I spent hours reading through that code, afraid to turn the Spectrum off in case I couldn't get back to it. Weeks later I got hold of a book of example code to copy out to do various things like making patterns on the screen. I was amazed by it. You told it what to do, and it did it! (don't you miss the days when coding worked like that?) I was bitten by the coding bug (excuse the pun) and I'd got it bad! I spent many late nights on that thing, escaping from a difficult home life. People (especially adults) were confusing, and in my experience unpredictable. When you did things wrong they shouted at you and threatened to take you away, or ignored you completely. Code never did that. If you did something wrong, it quietly let you know and often told you exactly what was wrong. It wasn't because of shifting expectations or a change of mood or anything like that. It was just clean logic, simple cause and effect.
I get my first computer a year later: an IBM XT that had been discarded by a company and was fitted with a key on the side to turn it on. With the impressive noise it made it really was like starting an engine. Whole most kids would have played with the games, I spent my time playing with batch scripts and writing very simple text adventures. And discovering what "format c:" does. With some abuse and threatened violence I managed to get windows running on it. Windows 2.1 I think it was.
At 12 I got a Gateway 75 running Windows 95. Over the next few years I do covered many amazing games: ROTT, Doom, Hexen, and so on. Aside from the games themselves, I was fascinated by the way computers could be linked together to play together (this was still early days for the Web and computers networked in a home was very unusual). I also got into making levels for Doom, Heretic, and years later Duke Nukem 3D (pretty sure it was heretic; all I remember is the nightmare of trying to write levels entirely by code!). I enjoyed re-scripting some of the weapons and monsters to behave differently. About this time I also got into HTML (I still call this coding, but not programming), C, and java. I had trouble with C as none of the examples and tutorial code seemed to run properly under a Windows environment. Similar for my very short stint with assembly. At some point I got a TI-83 programmable calculator and started rewriting my old batch script games on it, including one "Gangster Lord" game that had the same mechanics as a lot of the Facebook games that appeared later (do things, earn money, spend money to buy stuff to do more things). Worried about upcoming exams, I also made a number of maths helper apps, including a quadratic equation solver that gave the steps, and a fake calculator reset to smuggle them into my exams. When the day came I panicked and did a proper reset for fear of being caught.
At 18 I was convinced I was going to be a professional coder as I started a degree in Computer Science. Three months later I dropped out after a bunch of lectures teaching what input and output devices were and realising we were only going to be taught Java and no C++. I started a job on the call centre of a big company, but was frustrated with many of the boring and repetitive tasks we had to do. So I put my previous knowledge to use, and quickly learned VBA to automate tasks. It wasn't long before I ended up promoted to Business Analyst where I worked on a great team building small systems in Office, SAS, and a few other tools.
I decided to retrain in psychology, so left the job I was in and started another degree. During my work and placements my skills came in use a number of times to simplify and automate tasks. I finished my degree, then took a job as a teaching assistant while I worked out what I wanted to do next and how to pay for it. Three years later I've ended up IT technican at the school, responsible for the website, teaching a number of Computing lessons each week, and unofficial co-coordinator for Computing as a subject. I also run a team of ten year old Digital Leaders who I am training in online safety and as technical experts; I am hoping to inspire them to a future in coding. In September I'll be starting teacher training with a view to becoming a Computing specialist teacher. Oh, and I'm currently doing a course in Android Development in my free time.
And this all started with an accidental knock on the keyboard of a ZX Spectrum.7 -
Am I the only one who keeps adding articles to pocket and seldom checks it
Procrastination..
I mean literally.4 -
My new fitbit reminds me take 250 steps each hour. When I do stop and take a walk, I find it helps my productivity, and I feel better. However, I'm not good at keeping to it.
It's always the same story.
"Quiet you, I'll get up and walk once I finish this one thing".
...
Another hour goes by.
If only I could keep to my own convictions.4 -
"yes, a university degree isn't necessary to become successful, but that doesn't mean you can waste your time playing games or watching youtube for half a day.
stop complaining about the system and get your ass to work. do something, anything. stop fucking around with your life."
...is what i told a friend and he hasn't messaged me for 2 weeks. i see him on discord all the time, playing runescape or some shit.
i'm 24 and he's 22. he dropped out because he was too lazy to go to uni every 2 days.5 -
Does anyone else get this super lazy feeling where you want to write code but you don't wanna have to actually type it? Like I'm here in bed thinking about my projects but I don't wanna grab my laptop and get to work I just wanna think my code into existence.8
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Argh... Fuck you with a rusty pole while monkeys hanging on them. Why the fuck did you not take the extra five minutes that would have been taken to restrict that fucking datepicker to not allow users to pick a date before the current day??
Thanks to you asshole I've managed to book my accommodation from February 2nd to 4th instead of March.
Now I don't have anywhere to sleep while I must go there for the weekend because I have some course to attend to.
Abso-fucking-lutely great.7 -
I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.
Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.
D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.
As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.
Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.4 -
Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.1 -
I have become so lazy that I write things like
int reservations = getReservations()
and then use the IDEs quickfix to change int to Arraylist<Reservation>
Saves me roughly 15 characters but its always worth it :D6 -
What is the laziest that you have done?
I had to transfer some photos from my phone to PC but the USB cable was in the other room, so I uploaded it on my Google drive from my phone and then downloaded it on my PC
:P11 -
If you CC: me on an email I won't read it because I'm clearly not the intended recipient and I'm not going to do your work for you in trying to work out why I should give a fuck.
If you wish me to actually *give* said fuck then send me my own fucking email explaining why I should give a rat's anus about your shitty little problems.
And, if you try to use "but I copied you on the email" as an excuse for your incompetence in a meeting, I will eviscerate you on the spot. You will be looking at your small intestine while I ask your assembled co-workers if they have any other business.
CC: basically means you have no respect for my time. So, if you do it, I'm coming for you...and your family...and your friends...and all the people you know on Linked-In...8 -
When you're supposed to make a pcb for this SMD component, but when you etch you realize it's the wrong footprint.
Ended up soldering enamel wire tomthe chip.
hope it works
4 -
That moment when you know your code can be much shorter and cleaner but you just keep typing because you're too lazy to restructure.1
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What a lazy fuck.
This so called full-stack developer doesn't know how to use mysql from command line. The only way he can do anything in the database is using phpMyAdmin or MySQL gui.
What? How do you even call yourself a developer when you don't know how to use basic command line tools?
The fucker wants me to find out why a particular feature is not working?
Why the fuck are you being paid for? You stupid idiot.
"Can you please grep ... in the server?"
What? Why would I do that for you? How about you ssh the server yourself?
What a waste of time.5 -
I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.
He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.
I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.5 -
Absolutely fucking hate it when someone sends a word document for me to fill it up, and it has the worst fucking structure ever. Everything is here and there, bunch of hacky macros and full of other bullshit.
What a lazy fucking piece of shit!2 -
Meeting with a co-worker who is supposed to do a code analysis on a large legacy project. Actually, HER project - she inherited it already years ago, and the original devs aren't in the company anymore.
Her: customer is asking this and that analysis.
Me: easily two weeks.
Her: but who will do that?
Me: you of course.
Her: but I don't know most of the code.
Me: me neither.
Her: and I don't know the protocols.
Me: google them. I'd have to do the same.
Really, I told her to google shit, which I consider as quite a slap for a co-worker. Basically, she tried to offload a complex analysis because she just wants the low effort parts of the job.
Won't happen. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!14 -
The most important skill you can have is doing things without shame.
Shamelessly stay in your bed all weekends watching PewDiePie, never brushing your teeth, eating Doritos from under your pillow and peeing into empty Mountain Dew bottle if you feel like doing it.
Shamelessly spend your vacation sitting in the toilet with a laptop browsing reddit.
Shamelessly cut your product in half and ship it if you don't feel like perfecting it.
Shamelessly admit that you don't know something when you messed something up at work.
If you are a millennial like me, chances are your gen x parents told you that you have to be perfect / really good to succeed and to be worthy.
You know what? Fuck your parents then. Fuck my parents as well. Admitting this behavior wrong and actually giving up on living like something is always watching is the best thing you can do to your mental health.
I'm lazy. I write "any" here and there when they force me to do typescript at work. When I need a sidebar, I go and copy-paste that jquery snippet. I write like one article a month at best and I really want to say "fuck it" if I just don't feel like it.
You can always give up on everything and it's perfectly fine. This doesn't make you any kind of looser or something. You're perfectly fine.
Too bad I'm only beginning to master that.9 -
I swear, the next time I hear a web developer say to me: "Yeah let's pretend as if the security hole in the website isn't there, because truth be told, i cannot be bothered to fix it."4
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SSH is the most basic thing a web developer should know.
Some people are just lazy to learn something and all they do is give hard time to other people.2 -
I know whats wrong, I know how to fix it, but it would require too much energy so trying to find a different way to fix it1
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Recently I've been put in charge of checking if all backups work and the servers aren't getting full.
The first thing I did was write a script that does it for me.
Don't work hard, work smart 😎5 -
#wk126 yeah I'm late, I was too lazy to post in time.
Made an IFTTT trigger that WakesOnLAN my desktop using my Echo.
"Alexa, trigger my pc."7 -
that moment when you get an idea about awesome app to publish in the play store, but you remember how many other 100 ideas that are waiting for your move to write code, designing. so you give up, now you have 101 ideas waiting...1
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Sat in a McDonald's watching two staffers try to mop a floor.
I'll be honest, I'm very close to taking it away and doing it myself.
I cannot stand "busy work" do it properly or don't do it at all.4 -
How to force your self to write unit tests for your personal projects:
1. Go to a public place
2. Forget to bring your phone cable & never install a simulator because you are lazy af
3. Profit!4 -
When the change log says "fixed bugs and improved performance" only to find the entire application has been redesigned.1
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No fucking excuses! You should know how to reconfigure your programming work environment from scratch!2
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Why do I feel this way. I lost motivation for programming and I spend atleast 4 hours a day playing games.15
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This just happened....
Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>
Checked all the logs eh?
3 -
"I made a PWA, I'm a mobile app developer"
Me: No fuck off, you're a lazy cunt that doesn't want to learn native development.5 -
Guy I work with messaging me: Hey could you check my SQL syntax to get the date part for the month and year.
Me thinking: Ughhh this is going to be something stupid I know it. Why doesn't he just check it himself?
I check it... 2 queries that are very, very, very... simple... and similar except one returns last year (2017) and the other returns the current year (2018)
Me: Not sure what your issue is... I'm not getting any syntax errors. They are executing
Him: Well it shouldn't show 2017, it should show 2018
Me thinking: learn to debug you lazy fuck
Me: Well you're adding a -1 to your year...(Not sure why your even adding to it if your just getting the current month and year)
Him: Oh you're correct! That makes sense
Waste of my time2 -
Mixing lazy loading with event-based code == events won't be handled because the class won't subscribe to events until it's initialized hours after startup
Thank you, my dear lazy-loading lover, who keeps introducing hard-to-spot bugs everywhere. I wish your hand was as lazy as your code, that would have saved hours of debugging time.1 -
An example of today's generation:
My little cousin 22 years old wants to get into BI Dev. I tell him to read a certain book. The book has practice examples and various things that are hands on.
What does he do?
He READS the book and is like, "ask me any question and I know the answer". So I'm like, "fine, what's the structure of a basic SQL statement?", after some hard thought he's like, "SELECT * FROM?" I'm like, "ok.....how would you filter that?" and he's like, "you got me man........no clue".
What didn't he do?
Practice.
I mean.........come on.3 -
I hate the feeling you get when you do a lengthy, drooling task that once finished got you nowhere.
My day was mostly productive for a Sunday, woke up late as all Sundays, spent the afternoon writing a proposal and exercising when I saw a notification for a homework for tonight at 12.
A research paper about Dijkstra's philosopher problem, 8 pages minimum. To be honest I've seen the problem a long time ago while studying C++ and I had the theory down and that is my issue, it becomes inherently boring and useless in my head. Is in this situations that my mind gets lazy.
I wrote the first 3 pages in half an hour but I was done, I started revising the proposal and fixed a calculation error, checked Rust's take on the philosophers issue and decided to save it for winter break along with learning Rust (although got some basics down), made rough budget approximations for the next 3 months, lost myself a little bit on deep house music (notable tracks tadow from masego, nevermind - Dennis Lloyd and gold - Chet faker), etc...all in all it took me 3 hours more to finish the assignment, including breaks and dinner.
I am working on a lot of stuff lately and my main project's sprint ends this Tuesday and it pisses me off, after all that I learnt nothing new, got nowhere with my project and will probably get 80 because Google docs has no margin setting. Worse than being lazy for fun is inevitably being lazy for being compelled to do low priority tasks by your head's standards.
6 -
git commit messages
at work:
Only related changes on commit
"Detailed explanation of changes
- This bug
- That bug"
personal project:
1732 changed files
"Changes"3 -
"We’re not insulting Larry [Wall] by saying he’s lazy; laziness is a virtue. The wheelbarrow was invented by someone
who was too lazy to carry things; writing was invented by someone who was too lazy to memorize; Perl was
invented by someone who was too lazy to get the job done without inventing a whole new computer language."
- footnote from Learning Perl, by Randal L. Schwartz, brian d foy, and Tom Phoenix -
Just created a batch file to delete a directory so that I don't have to right click and move my mouse all the way to delete and click it.10
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A couple of weeks ago I had an internship. I worked there with a classmate. We had a simple assignment, but since we're noobs when it comes to web applications (and because you don't learn that in school), we even had a hard time preparing.
Finally, I... I mean "we" decided to use React because it's close to the way we learned to solve problems in school. I asked him to implement a page with a date picker/calendar. I even searched for a repo that. 2 Days later he was still not able to implement it, he experimented with the code, but he
1. didn't even read the readme, just copied the tutorial expecting it to work
2. Didn't even look at the logic behind it.
3. Demanded to use this other repo with less functionality
10-30 minutes should have been more than enough. Instead, I wasted time telling him to read and code properly. He refused the second (and probably also the first), because "Why should I care? We'll be here for 3 weeks and then we're done with this"
Guess whom I'll avoid in any possible group project3 -
My top 3:
* Inline styling instead of creating a class.
* slapping the new class at the end of a 700 LOC CSS file.
* Using !important14 -
I hate people that sends an email with a question and when you fail to reply within their arbitrary deadline (not in the email) they email you the same question but copying your boss and your boss's boss when they could've literally just walk 20 steps to ask the same question5
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How do you reply to multiple people in a rant without having to mention their names explicitly?
Click reply on the first person, go back, click reply on the next person, go back and so on!7 -
Ah fucking hell.
I hate it when my boss goes the path of least resistance to implement something.
Of course declaring a class property with the "any" type (TypeScript) is a fucking lot easier than to properly write an interface for it and declare the property with that type.
Thank god I have holidays, otherwise I would hatepunch his fucking monitor. Twice.2 -
I finally got my new Smartphone after going there personally to the courier
Seriously the couriers were lazy piece of shits and they can't even deliver to my address when it's perfectly valid.
Like couriers from my local PO and from Lazada/Taobao can even get to my house, what the fuck2 -
1. Go to Github for you
2. Download the 'codes'
3. Send them as a pdf to you when the code is there in the repo.
4. Write you a step by step tutorial when there's a clear README.
YOU LAZY MOTHERFUKCER!
2 -
I thought sunday will be the best day to read the dotnet documentation... at the end of the day I can honestly say I know all top rants now.1
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A dev joins the project. I help him set up, and he has everything up and running. I give him a task to fix a CSS issue, I even tell him what needs to be done. Almost 4 hours later I begin to wonder what's taking him so long and what is he up to. He finally sends me a pull request with just one line of code changed, and leaves for the day, over 45 mins earlier than supposed to.12
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So, Instagram put that "Be the first to comment" as a part of the background on the image itself. Whenever I scroll past comments that is visible in between the gaps. They couldn't even render a simple text view if there are no comments. And, I thought I was the only one who uses lazy hacks to make things work.
2 -
That feeling when you automate something and let the script run while being away from the computer.4
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A story from around 2005:
Customer laying out specifications: “We expect this software to need to last 25 years or so, and it will need to keep historical file processing data by dates for at least that long, assume storage is no issue.”
Devs at the time: “look best I can do is support that start with 200 or 201, anything else is really too much to ask. Also understanding how to work with dates at all and not just string manipulation is waaaaayyy hard yo.”
Fuck you lazy motherfuckers. This is why people thought Y2K would be a problem. -
Docker swarm. All i want is a 'zero-downtime' system and everytime i try to set it up there's three damn things missing. Load balencer, service updater, and a good distributed storage. I finally got pissed off and am working on those but fuck it's been how fucking long docker has been out why the hell somebody else hasn't done this yet.3
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What kind of pranks have you had in your office when people leave their desk without locking their computer?
In an office where I used to work, we would send an email from the offender's account to the extended org about how he/she loves bacon.
One guy would start sending messages to every personal IM contact: "you suck." Over and over.14 -
I have a big progress / update meeting to lead my team tomorrow.
Our investor has "ideas" on features and things that will significantly change the information we have to include in our code.
We are suppose to launch Jan,1 2019
He says I'll Call you tonight to give you the details so you will be ready for tomorrows meeting. .........
............
...........
yep never calls.
Fucking Awesome! can't wait to tell my team tomorrow. "glad you all came in today, looks like we have to change somethings I'm just not sure what yet."
Maybe I'll order pizza and beer to the office and we will all play video games until he shows up. and say if you aren't going to take this seriously why should we.
Fuckers!!!!!!!!!!5 -
Client asked me to complete the job as fast as I can and, here I am, waiting for the review of the latest version for the past 2 WEEKS.
Good thing, she paid up the entire amount beforehand. *Rubs hands in glee*3 -
"We don't need to design this page, we'll just wing it in dev. It's not an important page."
result: 47 jiras about choice of fonts, alignment, padding, missing images that were never provided, how it looks shit on mobile and can we make it black instead?1 -
I get being a noob and trying to learn but don't be a lazy ass by not even knowing if the library you're wanting to use is available for the language you're using it in.
Don't be this guy.
2 -
That I'm Not working on my personal projects after university or work and beeing to lazy to even start learning a new language.
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I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^1 -
I realised I was using my phone too much. Then I grouped apps randomly now I'm too lazy to find where is which app. 😎😎4
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I fucking hate everyone who sends me a voice message, Just text me motherfucker how can I find some info we discussed earlier, you want me to listen to all your stupid messages with your lazy ass voice to only find the shit I'm looking for.4
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When you have to made a little game with javascript, and because it's your first game you made a beautiful maze with lot of wall.
Ahahah... i'm shit.
I forgot wall have collision.
I'm here now, with 40 different fuckin' walls and much if and else if conditions.
I hate me.
Yeah i know, I can just change my maze but no... I'm lazy. Cry against the collisions is better.
Have good day.9 -
I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?
One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".
If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.
Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB2 -
Am I the only one who is just to lazy to order devrant stickers even if my posts have enough upvotes? :D
Don't get me wrong i love stickers!7 -
The client portal of the biggest bank in SA is down.
I took a break, because if they website is down, who cares about my minor bugs? 😀
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Ugh! So boring writing the same thing over and over! So instead I wrote a ruby script to generate some C# code for me!
Honestly...I just make excuses to do stuff with Ruby 😂3 -
Just had someone branch off my repo of some class assignments I did last year.
What are they up to.....
Better not be doing what I think he's doing.5 -
My email is just as valid if there is a whitespace at the end of it as if there wasn't.. ffs, just add a trim!
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Is it just my preview or are there more rants with the topic "lazy"?
It's almost like devRant is trying to tell me something. 😐 -
Looking through code, discovered a front end plugin wasn't activating right on a form input. Go look at the code, intern commented it out and wrote a comment saying "This didn't work and I didn't know how to fix it. So I turned it off." If you don't know, then ask. Don't leave it broken and not tell anyone! I am so glad this kid is gone. I really hope he doesn't come back after term.1
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I mistyped cap (from Capistrano) so often that I made an alias for it. Now bash history is full of... Crap. Literally.
My boss seen it once.... Luckily, he's already seen so many of my shenanigans that he didn't even care...
So yeah, I made an alias that changed one single character so I don't need to learn how to type.
crap staging deploy2 -
When you're in the zone, writing your genius down before you forget it, and you smartwatch reminds you to go stand and move around. 😑
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!dev
Applied for passport renewal 1.5 months ago... No update yet
My friend applied for passport renewal yesterday from different state and received a message for printing in evening. -
Don't you hate it when the designer uses a blend mode on a visual inside Photoshop or Sketch. I mean, I can't export this for web...4
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"There's a branch on terraform-our-project called instance-rols"
"Can you send me a link?"
OMG are you really so fucking lazy you can't go to the fucking git web interface, look up the damn project and click on the fucking branch?1 -
I've been BSing my skillset for so long to myself, it's a veritable toolbox of mixed knowledge but no complete sets...
I wonder if it's too late for me to catch up or if I will ever actually complete any learning...
I am yet to finish learning
Html
CSS
PHP
Ruby
C#
ASM I can do i386 but not x86
VB
Pascal if you can believe
C
C++
Java
JS
Python
Powershell
Bash
My main skill is basically just remembering anything I do, including code syntax and example code fragments well enough to quote at people which makes me a lazy learner. -
!Rant #lazy
I setup my local server so I can test my apps and to mount my partitions on my www folder in a folder named "mnt" with numbered folders for each mounted partition
So I can access and download my files to phone and other devices from all over the network :)
And even watch movies that are in my computer on my phone or tv
And when I want to sleep I usually watch a movie or one episode of series which is stored in my pc ,on my phone by this method in my bed 😅
So the thing is I'm too lazy to get out of bed and shut down the server and pc
So I setup this file so I can run commands on my PC from my phone 😅😂😂😂
192.168.1.110/server.php?cmd=shutdown now&psw=mypassword
7 -
New level of efficiency/laziness:
Used Tasker to autodial me into my daily stand-up conference calls. If my "AtWork" variable is set by the calendar entry, and If my "Jabra" headset is connected.
I don't have to remember conference codes...or keep track of the clock to call in on time.9 -
Getting a project from a client: It's quite easy. I'll finish it in a day.
Week 3: import express from 'express'2 -
Looks like using another language to develop a separate process on the system is too much of a mind blow to my boss.
The look on his face when I tried to suggest such thing made me realize it will not be worth the time explaining the benefits of using the right tool for the job.1 -
that BS thing you do when your too lazy to code and just copied a code from an existing class and renamed the vars even if it does not work or not being used just to show your boss that your working hard as f*
2 -
*while writing a function, sees mistake in another function unrelated to the one I'm writing* eh, can't be bothered to fix that right now, I'll wait for someone to file a bug
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Heres a rant you dont see everyday, the lazy gits in my office who dont clean up after themselves. Go to the kitchen to make coffee only to be confronted by a mountain of dishes, the peak of which may have been level with High Hrothgar. Had to dry them and put them away before I could really even move. Like just wash something after you use it, then take the extra 20 seconds to dry it and put it away, dont just rinse it and then leave it sitting there. AAARRRGGGHHHH1
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Disciplined to name a folder as 'Folder' in Windows and Lazy to name as 'folder' in Linux.
*Not wanting to press 'shift' key everytime to access.1 -
As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.
My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.
AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.
AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.
AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.
AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!
AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*
Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!! -
When I forget to put a small project I'm working on onto my USB or the cloud so I can't access it when I'm on the go. :'(
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I work really well under pressure.
Sometimes I'll be really lazy on a project until the deadlines get tight and I need to go into overdrive.1 -
One of the most inefficient practices I've seen done in companies is the company housing 50+ devs having to hire an expensive consultant who is only available on a limited time to figure out mysterious or in-depth problems with the company's main application (for example, JavaScript problems).
Then the whole dev team sits on his shoulders and production can't run smoothly until he fixes things. Even worse, him having the so-called qualifications, being the 'expert', but when asked an in-depth JavaScript question, they don't know the answer.
When I suggest to figure out things in-depth so problems like these can be prevented in the future, I'm met with: "Nah bro, we'll just apply quick fix #2" just because I carry the title 'Junior Developer'. Makes me want to hit my head on the wall on how stupid these people are.
This could all be solved if the dev team would be competent in the first place, knows how to read documentation and isn't lazy, most importantly. I hate teams like that.
Grab, the damn, documentation, read W3C, read MDN, get educated, and stop using band-aid solutions! Gah.
Toxic companies like these are what's wrong with some places in the development world.
I'm a proponent of knowledge.
Fellas, know your stuff. -
You know you should tidy up some space when your ssd has more space left then your hard drive
I still have a second hard drive, but I'm too lazy to move either my steam games or my programs over there...
The time will hit me when the last GB has been used1 -
I was gonna try to be productive and program something today but instead I spent most of the day playing prison architect.
I need some motivation in my life. -
Programmer friend: Dood, do this and this and show it to me, I'll say if it's good.
Me (noob): Okay, sure.
*next week*
F: So why did you stop coding?
M: Why do you think so?
F: You didn't show me your project in a week.
M: I was lazy?
F: LAZY?!?!2 -
I came to a point where I expect the computer can read my mind and suggest keyword accordingly, be it in code editor, terminal or word editor. That level of laziness. 😂
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My worst experience with a designer was when one forgot to design the website mock up for 2 weeks... so I just did it myself. Thankfully I have a degree in both development & design and bullshited my way through it. We were swamped at the time so I wasnt too thrilled to be doing his job. He somehow still has a job here, even though he's lazy and his mockups suck. 🤐😵👎
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dev vs QA rant (n + 1)
So our QA is done by China team so naturally time difference is quite irritating,
I cannot change code
I cannot debug for issue
So today I fix a critical issue and before pushing it my seniors send the to the QA
> QA unavailable
> I wait for QA because nobody notifies if the code is tested and I can work ahead
> I get review that my issue fix generated another issue (page gets redirected)
> I'm angry and astonished, I check on same link, same circumstances and no such issue is found
> My seniors say read the issue properly and I do it, no positive response when I contradict the QA
> QA leaves for home on Friday and critical issue still remains in live
I cannot believe the laziness of QA, I mean it's their loss at the end of the day.
> top of that I waited 2 hours for QA to check the issue2 -
Is it me or software subscriptions make developers lazy?
There is a great photo editing software: Capture One. Every year they release a new major version, so users need to buy an upgrade. In the past developers packed a bunch of big changes into major update, also they released 3 minor updates yearly, and every minor update brought some cool features. But then they added subscription model which was cheaper then perpetual model. And at the same time major updates became not that cool. Developers started to add enterprise features needed by museums, features involving other camera brands users, changes targeted at newbies and so on. For perpetual model users most of these changes are not worth 80-255 EUR yearly (depends on license type and offs) but is ok for subscription model users because they continue using the software and even small updates and enhancements are fine for them.
Not every major update is that weak but many of them are not worth upgrade. And developers are not motivated to do more cool stuff because subscription model users will continue paying for their subscriptions.2 -
Forget about this: https://devrant.com/rants/2136329/...
Now I Whatsapp myself with the files I want because apparently, I'm too lazy to connect the phone to my laptop :\6 -
Hi XXXX,
Thanks for speaking to me earlier,
If you could send me the following details we can really get the ball rolling with the recruitment process.
• Any jobs you have applied for or interviewed (I need company name and position)
This stops me re applying you for jobs you’ve already applied for
• Any key elements an employer has to have for you
• A name phone number and position held for references at your current contract.
If we can get these over asap then we can start the ball rolling and get you a new position in the most time effective manner.
Kind Regards,
Brainless Lazy Back-Stabbing Recruiter.3 -
Sometimes i feel bored of developing but i wan't to, i don't know how to explain this feeling. Do you guys sometimes feel the same ? Like i have a lot of things to do, i would like to learn new things but when i launch Unity for example i feel lazy, bored of it.
I'm stressing about my further carier, will i feel the same and so, stop developing as a job ?
I don't know if i'm the right post subject, and sorry for my english btw.2 -
After a 3 weeks break from work and programming, the hardest thing is going back on track. It's day 4 that I have started 'working' and I barely finished any tasks. I keep thinking of the great time I spent on 3 weeks holiday. ;'(1
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I am stuck in a loop where I lose confidence in a project and leave it 75% finished (without debugging) while also being doubtful of my skills every time I code and being so demotivated. I have been learning but its a slow process and I keep being lazy about it. I honestly wish I had less stress externally and was able to focus on software engineering more.1
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Final update!
It is now 7:50 PM and I'm finally done. I did procrastinate a bunch throughout the day but it worked out in the end!
But seriously, I should stop being this lazy...2 -
There's this one kid in my web design lab (I go to a technical highschool) and he always brags about using bootstrap and that's all he does is copy from the bootstrap library pisses me off!
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That weird moment when you realise the damned developers before you haven't even opened any documentation yet were fast on dismissing the new product.
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Oh... my... gosh. I don't think I've ever been more infuriated by people that talk about how much money their company is going to make. They talk about what they're going to buy, what they're going to do. How everyone they don't like is going to feel sorry for ever crossing them. And then they do absolute jack shit in terms of actually working towards their fantasy company that is going to make them billions. Know why? They're LAZY. It's nice to dream, but be realistic. Fuck. Listen, 90% or more of people are just average. If you don't work towards making yourself great, of course you're not going anywhere. Most people will never be rich. It's just how it is.
Bonus annoyance points for trying to make me do all the work for the company that will make them billions. -_- -
I know someone that’s constantly paranoid about being spied on by the government and fears companies stealing his code e.g. github, Microsoft etc.
His solution:
do nothing until we find a secure platform to write code on so that our ‘billion dollar ideas don’t get stolen’
Suffice to say that he’s a very bad coder, not that I’m really that good but compared to him I’m light years ahead.1 -
Guys,
I'm in kind of crappy situation. We are in dire needs of some improvements to our infrastructure. I've told that to the person who is responsible for it several times to get it improved. But because of his incompetency or laziness he just do some hacky solutions which gonna blow up on the the very next day and makes things worse.
I've raised my concern to my supervisor several times. He is also kinda slow in pushing things.
These infrastructure changes are for testing purposes so it doesn't have an immediate impact on their business. But it is kinda productivity killer for all.6 -
!rant
I hate the feeling when you're creating an app then the designers provided you a mockups that aren't intuitive, it makes me lazy to code 😒2 -
Not sure if I don't know how to manage time properly, lazy, bad or just inexperienced.
I need a "How to get shit done faster" tutorial.2 -
How do you guys deal with really stupid PMs? I had one ask me 3xs to call the client and send emails because he's lazy and doesn't know how to be a PM + he's dumber than a box of freaking rocks.5
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EDITOR=nano sudoedit foo
Spare me please…
It's not that I don't know how to use vim/vi, I'm just lazy to get used to it…2 -
Yes WP sites can be bad.
But as bad as it can be, just as easy it can serve as a good kickstarter for the next website.
If just the developer behind said website has some kind of dignity about the code they produce and respect for their fucking job!
1. Don't use bloated plugins.
2. Always vheck out alternatives.
3. Don't ever use paid plugins/themes... just don't.
I for one, whenever installing a plugin, if said plugin generates any kind of unexpected output such as a notice it's an immidiate uninstall, and then rolling my own.
I also use a bare minimum boilerplate theme which does not bundle any frameworks, additional libaries or other kinds of that bloatware for all my wp sites, this ensures that every site is somewhay unique.
I've seen so many "devs" being lazy as fuck, using the wrong themes/plugins to "code" the site.
No! using page builders such as visual composer or bloatware slideshows does not count as good tools.
If you buy a theme from themeforest thinking it will save you hours of custom development, then fuck you... go drown in acid.. because guess fucking what?
It will save you absolutely jack shit in the long run..
Anything stating otherwhise is marketing bullcrap4 -
Why cant i work these days are my days as a programmer over?
Have a deadline but dont know why I want to miss it.
Have any one else bieng here?5 -
Alright, if you don't make apply a little feature, which you already use in your webpage, in your API, I'll have to fucking parse that shit.
Screw you, I'm sacrificing my free time... -
ubereats is the reason im broke
i will happily pay an extra 7 dollars for a ice cream just so I don't have to leave the comfort of my home1 -
So I've seen this today:
GetRetr(GetChks(GetTrans(GetLatest(DateTime.Today.AddDays(-1)))));
No comments. .1 -
Laziest thing is to do is commenting out the buggy code in minified JS rather than actually fixing3
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So I found about a possible freelance job I could do. I messaged the person and they asked me to show them some of my work. I went into my dusty wamp server folder to use one of my projects there as an example or w/e. It being old and all and me having not updated anything in the last 2 years, there was a lot of bugs I had to fix. So I did that. I had to change some links and whatnot. Then I tried running the site again and that was where I met the biggest hurdle. None of the user generated pages worked because I used a .htaccess file to vanity the website links (is that a word? No? Well it is now). So I went back into the folder to check the .htaccess file to see if I could fix the issue. Lo and behold the file was empty
I had lost the fucking .htaccess. Now I'm stuck and saying fuck it because I can't be arsed to go through each file and change the links mostly bc I forgot the structure of the links ontop of the other stuff I had in the htaccess file. And yeah ik I'm just being lazy but I'm really just having one of those days
So yeah that's how my day went. Just thought I'd share -
One year ago my journey with php is started...
And now we figured out how to working with mysql
How lazy i am :)1 -
I'm so tired when I got up. Didn't sleep much last night. Working on a Sunday night till 2AM because I did not work the week on the project I was given.
This is not happening for the first time, I sleep late around 3AM to do my work, as day is too noisy and distracting. Attend some meetings during the day and get lazy in the evenings. Work during nights and then the next day I'm all tired for daily stand up.
How do you people tackle this schedule? I need serious advices.5 -
What do you all do when you literally have nothing to do at work? I get ultra bored and start reading manga but I feel bad and scared that my boss might consider me useless. Just want to know if this is somewhat normal behaviour sometimes?26
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Been debugging a sp in oracle from 2 days a fucking sp of 2000 lines to see why it was not not giving desirable result. Turns out a fucking variable had a null value which was always satisfying the greater than condition an fucking up the flow. The fucking sp is being used since ages and nobody fucking noticed i mean what the actual fuck. And also the fucking indentation of the code how the fuck are u supposed to know which if ends where i mean come on put some fucking comments to your fucking code if u are gonna make it like it is gonna be the ultimate fucking sp which is being used god only know how many places.
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I have had a very unproductive week. I haven’t even pushed anything to bitbucket or github. Any tips to curb unproductivity?5
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A friend asked me to set up a system that allows them to see their desktop on their tv and use a remote to wirelessly control it.
Fine, so I set up a system that allows them to interact with their desktop on tv wirelessly with their phone. Once the desktop booted, all they have to do is click one single button to open the thing they need.
Guess what? They come tell me: "This is too much work". What, clicking on a single button is too much work? Now you want it to auto-load too? Right, so apparently this is better: when the users plomps their @#!* on the couch, the OS has to be already booted, the desktop has to be ready and the desired functionality has to be launched. How lazy can you be?
Users can be so lazy.. and I thought I was lazy for not wanting to debug Python to webscrape a website that asked for cookies.2 -
I can't use this keyboard to program:
Got a transparent touch LED keyboard because I thought it was cool, turns out the lazy chinese programmers have used a really long debounce time of ~100ms in its firmware to prevent duplicate keystroke detection.
Which means, I can't type as fast as I want on this thing! 😭
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You know what sucks when you are in school? When you're writing a fucking test tomorrow about DSL and your fucking teacher is teaching a new fucking topic ONE FUCKING DAY BEFOR THE FUCKING TEST AND THAT TOPIC IS VPN AND ITS COMPLETLY IRRELEVANT TO YOUR FUCKING TEST! And worst of all: we are writing 2 other tests on Operating Systems and LCD Displays too! WHAT THE FUCK HOW SHOULD I LEARN ALL THIS SHIT7
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Dr Robotnik has to be a java dev... Bloated, lazy, never leaves his seat, occasionally garbage collecting his messy desk
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sitting alone on my desk for 5 fu****g days making my agency's landing page. Replaced all lorem shit ipsum with my feelings. Pray for my lazy co-workers
3 -
On Friday a PM I worked with on a project a long time ago, asked me to do a little task on that project, I said yes, and said that I will be sure to deliver it on Friday, but I forgot to do it and, just now I was walking to the kitchen to make myself some tea, and saw him on the way and I was like "Oh, shit"
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Ticket: implement compression algorithm to crypto object x
Details: object to big, we must devise a way to compress it. A deflate algorithm should be added here, yada yada yada we did not have the time Yara yada...
Go see crypto provider's documentation... It has compression options... -_-
You lazy fucking stack overflow copy question dimwits!!! Jesus fucking Christ! This reached production like this shit, I've got clients complaining of the size of the payload because you are a bunch of lazy fucks who can't even read simple documentation!!!
I want to kill someone for wasting my time and patience... Don't call me for this kind of crap... I have better things to do!
I mean, the time it took you to write the ticket should suffice... -
Update on my previous rant...
It's currently 9:00 AM and I'm halfway done with the homepage (two more pages to go). I'm too lazy so I'm using a framework to get shit done faster.
I'll post more updates throughout the day -
It seems I am developing a habit to always forget to test "fetch" code in a repository, found two unit tests having all insert/update/delete but not a single fetch function T_T
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I'm a beginner web developer - and I've run out of motivation / inspiration.
I'm a lazy teen who wants to be a web developer. Everyone and then I will start some project - and probably never finish it 100%. These last weeks I am really out of motivation or inspiration to do anything. I've learned a lot of things and I want to make something, I wanna test my skills. So - is there any place I can seek for inspiration on Front end web development? Or just if you need some help with any front end project - contact me.10 -
its just me or when im f-k work hard for days
i take a f-k big reset for weeks without doing anything
even coding make me cry as f-k
and i cant just do it at that time
im to laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy7 -
I get tired of people complaining about rails "magic" it's annoying. Ok we get it, you have never taken the time to understand it's naming conversation or looked under the hood.
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Me : Here, a list with multiple strings, do your job, Foreach block
Code : *do only one iteration*
that code is lazier than me1 -
When you're having to add BS/hackey conditionals to your code because the other dev is too damn lazy to fix their code.
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Am I the only one always comming up with solutions for problems not programmed yet, being curious whether it works but being too lazy to actually implement and test it?2
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That feeling when you were sick as shh and almost good now after eating good pepperoni sausages and wine, suddenly getting energy and reminiscing about : (1. Biggest priority)
1. Am I really going to play with code side project it's Saturday
2. Nah I'm still going to play Dota or wow or idk
3. Laying in bed devranting and telling to myself am I that tired and lazy to do the above ones? Nah it's just socializing
4. Laying in the bed turning the phone display down ?
Yeah tough choices probably get some wine and do some music idk man -
to lazy to open atom, open git, to commit and push to add/test some features on my website, just used the chrome console to add and test new stuff 🤷♂️
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I honestly think that a company as big as Snapchat, that focuses their entire business idea around using the phone cameras, should be less lazy. I mean why the F do they not use the camera modules on Android phones but instead simply takes screenshots of the preview? Makes the pictures look horrible, no matter the phone camera...
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So i started writing a long ass rant and then i got busy followed by getting lazy and i feel the rant has lost its meaning now :/
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“I forgot to tell you” - a backend dev who forgot to tell me about some changes in the prices a day before we submit our site to the client
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I get so tired of people hating on PHP, Javascript and promoting Python or C#/Java.
Python is basically Perl with slightly different syntax plus has py2/py3 issues. And suffers from pip like js does from npm.
Java/C# started as application languages, while PHP started in web servers (again from Perl but at least it now has full object support). So comparing apples and oranges is one thing.
Another one is that people don't seem to know much about PHP / js (and tbh not even about the languages they are promoting) when they try to hate. That just comes off as lazy and borderline idiotic. Don't be that guy.
If you have had a bad experience, maybe you need to open the documentation instead of copying code from stack overflow.
Again, lazy and unprofessional.
Devs are supposed to be able to find the most efficient solution, that takes as little code as possible, not as little time from them when they arent familiar with the subject.
Damn Im angry right now, this rant really worked me up! :D6 -
So basically a client's website still works on PHP 5.4. I manage the site's content which works on an old server that takes around 5-6 seconds each time I work on the backend (WordPress).
Asked the client's sysadmin to upgrade but he doesn't want in case some old and non updated plugin would break the site. (Which did about a year ago and I had to fix it).
Feels like working on a minefileld. -
Websites that have a password length limit that's way too short and/or don't allow symbols.
Example, I think EA has a password limit to 15 characters and doesn't allow spaces, underscores or even symbols, meaning that your password must be only letters and numbers, which is quite unsecure. -
Am I the only one to fix incrementally worse issues with the wrong approach, only to do it right in the end (with minimal research and coding) - being left with 1000 unnecessary workarounds to remove :( happened over the last week or so with a personal Vue project...
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Every time when being too lazy to type "localhost" completely and quickly hit Enter, going to "Shakira - Loca" trap.2
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Clicking on links you want to know but you are never learning it soon, so you click it and comfort yourself.
Who can relate? -
needed to find something on my desk but too lazy to get up. made a route and a view in laravel to display a blank white page to illuminate my desk lol4
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So I'm tasked with creating a single sign on link using documentation from the third party we are logging into. So far so good.
Well they don't support some of the fields our users will need--that we don't want to support (otherwise why use a third-party?).
Their solution is to make us the system of record so that when a user goes through the single sign on we pass this info as well. But it needs to be editable on their side well--because they won't give us an API for our system of record to update their side.
That's right only a user signing on from our system will update their side. Tough luck admins on our side. You get double duty due to the poor business decision to work with a company with lazy devs. -
Anyone got a motivator for university?
I love to do all the tech stuff - but i am sooo sick of memorizing stuipd stuff and edge cases...5 -
Sometimes, I just hate to go through all the information and provide a quote to the client. Especially, when a project is no fun.1
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This might be helpful for lot of us here. How to undo the damage of sitting - http://artofmanliness.com/2014/08/...
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Being lazy sometimes and writing type definitions after I’m done developing something rather than before (hence wasting time as doing that work is meant to help with the development process in the first place...)
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