And the trembling begins...

I don't understand unit testing, you won't explain it to me and I will never use it properly.

Go fuck yourself, internet of modules and node.js and fucktards who think they write good code but suddenly my simple webapp is 200mb big without even adding any content yet.

Yeah, I have some friends, but none of them appreciates Yeoman like I do.

Fuck, they don't even know what it is. 😡😡😡

SCROLLJACKING IS SHIT.

Yes, also for developers. Been there, done that.

If my girlfriend was a prefixed browser-incompatible CSS level 4 property I would still use her in production.

Can someone explain to me why the fuck I should even care about the fact, that some companies collect, use and sell my data? I'm not famous, I'm not a politician and I'm not a criminal, I think most of us aren't and won't ever be. We aren't important. So what is this whole bullshittery all about? I seriously don't get it and I find it somewhat weird that especially tech guys and IT "experts" in the media constantly just make up these overly creepy scenarios about big unsafe data collecting companies "stealing" your "private" information. Welcome to the internet, now get the fuck over it or just don't be online. It's your choice, not their's.

I honestly think, some of these "security" companies and "experts" are just making this whole thing bigger than it actually is, because it's a damn good selling point. You can tell people that your app is safe and they'll believe you and buy your shit app because they don't understand and don't care what "safe" or "unsafe" means in this context. They just want to be secure against these "evil monster" companies. The same companies, which you portrayed them as "evil" and "unfair" and "mean" and "unrepentant" for over a decade now.

Just stop it now. All your crappy new "secure" messenger apps have failed awesomely. Delete your life now, please. This isn't about net neutrality or safety on the internet. This is all about you, permanently exaggerating about security and permanently training people to be introverted paranoid egoistic shit people so that they buy your elitist bullshit software.

Sorry for my low english skills, but please stop to exist, thank you.

"Use this great extension for your IDE!"

Yeah, thanks, now I have 57 extensions installed and not one of them is useful because my fucking IDE crashes every fifth minute.

Is it frightening that my load order of 120 Skyrim mods is perfectly working but my website crashes because of another JS library I just added?

Okay, guys, please help me. My stickers arrived but the laptop I'm currently working on is shitty. So I'm afraid of putting them on the laptop, because maybe I won't work with it anymore in a year or so. Where should I put them??? :/

Some side coding you do because you think it will help you with the main coding and then 10 hours later you realize, you don't need the side coding but you aren't honest with yourself and just continue the side coding because maybe someone could use this as a library and no, noone will use it and days later you still didn't finish the main coding.

I actually have to code a simple web app with a form, now I accidentally created a library for dynamically generating angularjs controllers.

worst part about factory resetting:
wtf devrant y u so bright???

*me looking into code of others*
"am i the only one who uses while loops?"

Coming home after one week without coding. What is the increment operator again?

Trying to uninstall Norton is like shitting but some of the poo touches your ballsack.

I should really stop using "swag" as a filler variable.

Accidently pressing Ctrl-S in a new file for notes...

Dear every second JS dev:
Thank you for making this library!
Fuck you for making it only for node.js!

Wanted to abbreviate "cumulative" for a variable in my code, but it sounded sexual.

This was the most difficult decision in my life. But finally it happens. I hope I get well soon.

When something finally works as expected but it still looks like there is a bug.

Working on an AI that learns to generate quatrains, by only feeding it every letter of the alphabet at the beginning.

It's learning super slowly, but theoretically it works. And with slowly I mean it takes 5000 iterations just to realize the optimal letter frequency to generate a word that is real.

Please just kill me.

!!Rant

if (!Rant) {
console.log("go away");
}
else {
console.log("awesome, you understood this app!");
}

piece of code: *not working*
me: okay, i can try this again later
me: *comments it out*

4 hours later

me: omfg why are there so many comments??? :(

Just debugged an angularjs app for 2 hours to find out that I spelled "response" "reponse" as an http get request success callback function argument. I hate my life.