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Search - "triggered"
Random Guy: So you wrote all this in Java?
Random Guy: Yea. What i said. It's the same!
Please kindly fuck off. I don't need your genderbiased bullshit. I couldn't care less about a programmer's gender.
I'm also aware about the margin between the numbers of female and male dev who want to study CS, but if you seriously think that a learning algorithm is biased on gender and ethnic it's creator, I will have to kindly remind you that math doesn't support an output based on your gender.
Now please get the fuck off my sacred newsfeed...74
I am an indie game developer and I lead a team of 5 trusted individuals. After our latest release, we bought a larger office and decided to expand our team so that we could implement more features in our games and release it in a desirable time period. So I asked everyone to look for individuals that they would like to hire for their respective departments. When the whole list was prepared, I sent out a bunch of job offers for a "training trial period". The idea was that everyone would teach the newbies in their department about how we do stuff and then after a month select those who seem to be the best. Our original team was
-One sound guy(because musician is too mainstream)
I did coding, concept art(and character drawings) and story design, So, I decided to be a "coding mentor"(?).
We planned to recruit
-One sound guy
-One artist (two if we encountered a great artstyle)
When the day finally arrived I decided to hide the fact that I am the founder and decided that there would be a phantom boss so that they wouldn't get stressed or try flattery.
So out of 7, 5 people people came for the "coding trial session". There were 3 guys and 2 girls. My teammate and I started by giving them a brief introduction to the working of our engine and then gave them a few exercises to help them understand it better. Fast forward a few days, and we were teaching them about how we implement multiple languages in our games using Excel. The original text in English is written in the first column and we then send it to translators so that they can easily compare and translate the content side by side such that a column is reserved for each language. We then break it down and convert the whole thing into an engine friendly CSV kind of format. When we concluded, we asked them if they had any questions. So there was this smartass, who could not get over the fact that we were using Excel. The conversation went like this:(almost word to word)
Smartass: "Why would you even use that primitive software? How stupid is that? Why don't you get some skills before teaching us about your shit logic?"
Me:*triggered* "Oh yeah? Well that's how we do stuff here. If you don't like it, you can simply leave."
Smartass: "You don't know who I am, do you? I am friends with the boss of this company. If I wanted I could have all of you fired at whim."
Me:"Oh, is that right?"
Smartass:"Damn right it is. Now that you know who I am, you better treat me with some respect."
Me: "What if I told you that I am not just a coder?"
Smartass:"Considering your lack of skills, I assume that you are also a janitor? What was he thinking? Hiring people like you, he must have been desperate."
Me:"What if I told you that I am the boss?"
Smartass:"Hah! You wish you were."*looks towards my teammate while pointing a thumb at me* "Calling himself the boss, who does he think he is?"
Smartass:*glances back and forth between me and my teammate while looking confused* *realizes* *starts sweating profusely* *looks at me with horror*
Me:"Ha ha ha hah, get out"
Me:"I said, get out"
Smartass:*gathers his stuff and leaves the room*
Me: "Alright, any questions?"*Smiling angrily*
Newcomers: *shake heads furiously*
For the rest of the day nobody tried to bother me. I decided to stop posing as an employee and teaching the newcomers so that I could secretly observe all sessions that took place from now on for events like these. That guy never came back. The good news however, is that the art and music training was going pretty well.
What really intrigues me though is that why do I keep getting caught with these annoying people? It's like I am working in customer support or something.18
Confessions of a Programmer
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.22
Colleague: "What is a pl file?"
Me: "Oh thats a perl script"
Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"
Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"
Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"
Me:" -_- what year is this ??"25
Developed an android app for the client. It was going great. Prototype for the initial (and static) content to show to the client was on the way. All until...
*goes back in time to when we were developing the prototype*
The asshole boss: "Wow this is good, just remove the login after the splash screen. Redirect it to the dashboard immediately."
Me: "What? Why?"
TAB: "He (the CEO of our company) said that the client doesn't need to see the login."
Me: "Well, alright." (Orders are orders, better remove it)
*A few days later, we present the prototype to the CEO. He'll be the one talking to the client. TAB isn't in this meeting.*
CEO: "Where is the login screen?"
Me: *dumbfounded and confused, in silence, and pressure rising*
The Good Boss: *whispers* "Where is the login screen? I thought I told you guys it should be there."
Me: *whispers* "TAB told us to remove it."
TGB: *Looks toward CEO* "TAB told us to remove it."
CEO: "Ugh. TAB is sick."
A little giggle. Nonetheless the meeting continued. He was displeased. I was a little guilty. The login screen's code was already there. Just couldn't show it since the app doesn't redirect there anymore.
*A discussion after the meeting*
TGB: "Why'd you guys remove the login?"
Me: "You and TAB had a meeting with the CEO the other day. After the discussion TAB went to us and told us to change it."
TGB: "But the CEO said no such thing! Anyway, let's go back to the office and straighten this out tomorrow."
*The next day, TAB was in the office*
TGB: *Chatting on messenger with me* "He is completely denying it."
TGB: "He said he never told you guys anything. And he is persistent. I kept telling him it was his fault, but he denies all of it. He never approached you guys to change anything."
Me: "Well yeah. I guess we magically thought to ourselves and said, 'Hey, let's remove the login screen for fun. Let's show them less content because that's how we please our clients!' -_-"
Seriously, what kind of assholefuckery is this. This shit is a whole new level. I am so TRIGGERED.
I don't really care that the meeting didn't go as planned. Just MAN UP AND ADMIT YOUR MISTAKE YOU FILTHY SON OF A GOOSE. Never listening to this asshole again. Thought he could be trusted. I will always ask my good boss next time.18
Me called for a meeting by a senior manager upon my resignation.
Manager : We talked with clients about your resignation, they're devastated and visibly expressed it.
Me: Ah, I see.
Manager : What triggered your decision to quit?
Me : Am not comfortable with my immediate supervisors. I think there are idealogical differences that can't be resolved. There needs to come a big change in mindset to be open and prepare a healthy, productive work environment.
Manager : Am planning to get a new coffee machine for our floor. We're bringing in big changes! Please stay for it!
Me: Smiling (internally : Dude what? And that seals my resignation)8
I like you if you're not a dev.
I like you if you're a dev.
I don't like you if you're not a dev but you try to act one.7
All those fingerprints... I am TRIGGERED. It's like he stuck his fingers into a philly cheese steak and then smeared them all over the screen.22
Hey, wanna hear a disappointing stack?
- vanilla inline CSS
- shitty random legacy PHP
The author is NOT responsible nor liable for any injuries, mental health issues, sanitary problems, asexuality, crippling depression, triggered by this rant nor liable for any damaged walls, hurt animals or deaths.14
>Be me, have doctor's appointment
>Call in late for work
>Assistant asks to put in pupil dilation drops before checkup
>Have to wait half an hour before solution settles
>Already late and this sucks
>Squeezes lemons in my eyes. Lemon with a 's'
>Wait for 15 minutes and next round of lemon squeezing
>r/InstantRegret for visiting doc
>Half an hour and cannot see anything in short sight
>Doc checks by penetrating laser in my eye
>All good but feel giddy
>Doc says I will not be able to see in short sight for at least two hours
>Panic mode on
>Somehow boards first bus
>Switch to next bus
>Traffic and blindness kills
>Just one stop before, bus gets into terrible accident
>A kid hurt badly
>Alight and catch auto-rickshaw
>Low on cash but reach office late
>Still blind af
>10000 hours later barely able to see
>Navigate holding side bars
>No work all day
>Regret coming to office
>Eye sight returns
>Sees crush and gets triggered like always
>Spend time with office bro
>Panic mode off
>Passes time and leaves for home
>Reach home and post the story
TL;DR: what a shit fuck lazy day.48
Website owners who use modals that aren't triggered by explicit user interaction should be punished by public hanging.
YOU CAN SHOVE YOUR FREE EBOOK AND NEWSLETTER UP YOUR ARSE. FUCK YOU.3
What a shit fuck of a day...
I woke up tired without enough sleep.
Then all of a sudden anxiety triggered in and I had a panic attack without any reason.
That irritates me beyond anything.
After all the morning struggle, I reached office and bam!!! My system has is turned off.
WHO FUCKING DID THIS???? WHO THE FUCK TURNED OFF MY SYSTEM ABRUPTLY?
I lost some of my work and setup.
Well, no worries. Let's turn it on.
Guess what? The network wouldn't connect.
Aaarrrgghhhh!!!!! Rage fit.
Tried turning it on and off. Did everything. No success.
Raised a ticket and network guys are friends so they helped me.
After diagnosis, we realise that this is not a network issue as system is working on static IP and even desk phone works fine.
Contacted the desktop team. They said try connecting on another desk.
Well fuck you lazy piece of monkey shit!!
Removed all the cables and tried on neighbouring desk.
This doesn't work you shit head. I told him to help but bugger left because he had some another important meeting.
Now I am stuck without network. Time to play some games before my manager fucks me up for wasting time.
I see no good thing happening today. But I found this while on Chrome.
I think it's Terry's birthday. Happy birthday Terry!!!17
Professor in college: We have our fest coming up. We need some volunteers for technical team to build website and android app.
*She says that and looks towards guys. Some guys raise hands saying they were interested.*
She didn't look towards girls even though some girls were raising their hands too.
Then she looked at girls finally....and she said "Oh you girls are interested too? We have cultural and decoration team. You can join that. "
I was triggered to next level.
I stood up and asked "Can't girls be part of technical team?"
She said "oh...yeah sure...." With not much hope that I would get into technical team.
But I ended up passing the screening round and got into technical team. She realised at that time that I knew my shit.....
There was even a time when I was in HODs office and she pointed at me and went "She is my student." trying to take credit for me being so Awesome ;)
She was my guide for final year project too. We ended up writing a research paper and won best project award as well.
This was a year back. I have graduated and now I am working....
I have to share because I'm so confused at the moment. After troubleshooting for months trying to figure out why my laptop would randomly go into sleep mode, as I was typing. (Imagine my frustrations working on exam projects to have the screen just go black on me every 30 seconds.)
Today I found a post on the Dell forums by another person with the same problem. Apparently a magnetic closure on my bracelet triggered a sensor to think I had shut the lid on my laptop. What. The. Fuck. Guess that explains why it would only happen sometimes, as I don't wear this bracelet often 🙃🔫 definitely the funniest and weirdest problem I've ever had with a laptop.13
As an Australian, I find the fact that I need 750++ just to let my avatar wear thongs is oppressing my heritage and is extremely racist. #triggered9
I sent the iPhone crasher in my classgroup yesterday. Today morning a few girls out of my class said that I triggered a virus with a textmessage. Bruh6
So as quite some people know on here, I am strongly against closed source software and have a very strong distrust in it as well.
So next to some principles (and believes etc etc etc) there is one specifc 'event' which triggered the distrust in CSS (No not Cascading Style sheet, I mean Closed Source Software :P). So hereby the story about what happened.
I think it was about 5 years ago when a guy joined my programming class (I wasn't in uni although I studied but for the sake of clarity, lets just call it uni for now (also, that makes me feel smarter so why the fuck not!)) in uni. He knew a shitload about programming for his age but he was convinced that he was always right. (that aside)
Anyways, at some point we had to work in groups on this project (groups for specific tasks) and he chose (he loved it, we hated it, he had the final say) Trello for 'project management'. He gave everyone (I was running Windows for a little bit at that moment because the project was in C# and the Snowden leaks had not arrived yet so I was not extremely uncomfortable with using Windows, just a lot) this addon program thingy he created for Trello which would make usage easier. I asked if it was open source, he replied with 'No, because this is my project.' and although I did understand that entirely, I didn't feel comfy using it because of it's closed source nature. Everyone declared me paranoid and he was annoyed as hell but I just kept refusing to use it and just used the web interface.
*skips to 2 years later*
I met that guy again at the train station at a random day! Had the usual 'how are you and what's up after a few years' talk with him and then he told me something that changed my view on closed source software for most probably the rest of my life.
"Hey by the way, do you remember that project of a few years back where you didn't want to use my software because of your 'closed-sourceness paranoia'? I just wanted to say that I actually had some kind of backdooring feature build in which (I am not going to say what) allowed me to (although I didn't use it) look at/do certain things with the 'infected' computers. I really wanted to say that I find it funny how you, the only one who didn't give in to my/the peer pressure, were the only one who wasn't affected by my 'backdoor' at that moment! Also your standards towards the use of closed source software probably played a big part probably. I find that pretty cool actually!"
Although I cannot confirm what he said, he was exactly the type of guy who would do this IMO (and not only IMO I think).
So yeah, that's one of the reasons AND the story behind a big part of why I don't trust closed source software :).8
So today I got really triggered when i hear this guy say that coding is cancer. I stand up and instantly the first thing going through my mind is that it's the battle of the nerds. He says he tried ALL of the programing languages out there and they were shit. I asked if he tried C# and he still says coding is cancer even though he has never even heard of any C# syntax. I asked if he used Batch as a started language and he still says it. So I just decided to roast him by saying "did you put .bat at the end of the file when you were saving? Oh wait never mind, I forgot your lazy ass doesn't have the intelligence to understand how to save"
Surprisingly everyone was silent and most likely didn't understand what I had said. So I just left wondering if he even bothered to get a guide on syntax for any of the languages he would have liked.5
Marketing wants to remove the word "sex" from one of my slide decks.
Fuck people who get outraged for others. They are making a bad situation much worse.
Yes, there are people who get triggered by the slightest thing---but those people are going to be triggered no matter what you do. And it seems to me that I'd not want to have them as customers anyway---massive support cost.
We are in danger of washing everything until it becomes an inoffensive shade of beige.
Why do the 99% have to be bored for the 1%?
It's not like I'm doing a live demo...yet...
So, fuck outrage by proxy. If you are personally outraged then say that. If not, shut the fuck up.17
I am terribly triggered.
Somebody please lift my mood.
Music helps me everytime but it won't help today.
I can't even cry it out as I am at work.
I have just concluded a post-mortem on one of my servers.
Cause of death: out of memory due to a tiny memory leak in a VPN service triggered by 66 different IPs brute-forcing the creds at the same time. Mostly from China, of course.
Dear bot writers: you made me put aside my spaghetti and write iptables rules. I hate iptables. And I love spaghetti. You should be ashamed of yourself! Did momma not teach you basic OpSec? Don't crash the target and never, ever, interrupt the sysadmin during dinner!7
A major bank had a bug in their system that triggered multiple postings of transactions in all of their clients' accounts. When they found out the root cause, they just had to mention that the programmer was a female. Like that was any bearing to the problem. It's not like they have like a whole fucking team of QA testers that should have checked that shit before it went to production.14
Today I inserted a single row into a table which triggered four triggers which inserted 5 rows each to different tables triggering 9 triggers inserting 3 rows which triggered more triggers... Nothing about this is ok.6
Some days I feel like I work in a different universe.
Last night our alerting system sent out a dept. wide email regarding a high number of errors coming from the web site.
Email shows the number of errors and a summary of the error messages.
Ex. 60 errors
59 Object reference not set to an instance of an object
1 The remote server returned an unexpected response: (413) Request Entity Too Large
Web team responds to the email..
"Order processing team's service is returning a 413 error. I'll fill out a corrective action ticket in the morning to address that error in their service. "
Those tickets are taken pretty seriously by upper mgmt, so I thought someone on the order processing team would point out the 1 error vs. 59 (coming from the web team's code).
Two hours go by, nobody responds, so I decide to jump into something that was none of my business.
"Am I missing something? Can everyone see the 59 null reference exceptions? The 413 exception only occurred once. It was the null reference exceptions that triggered the alert. Looking back at the logs, the site has been bleeding null reference exceptions for hours. Not enough for an alert, but there appears to be a bug that needs to be looked into."
After a dept. managers meeting this morning:
MyBoss: "Whoa..you kicked the hornets nest with your response last night."
Me: "Good. What happened?"
<Dan dept VP, Jake web dept mgr>
MyBoss: "Dan asked Jake if they were going to fix the null reference exceptions and Jake got pissed. Said the null reference errors were caused by the 413 error."
Me: "How does he know that? They don't log any stack traces. I don't think those two systems don't even talk to one another."
MyBoss:"That's what Dan asked!..oh..then Jake started in on the alert thresholds were too low, and we need to look into fixing your alerting code."
Me: "What!? Good Lord, tell me you chimed in."
MyBoss: "Didn't have to. Dan starting laughing and said there better be a ticket submitted on their service within the next hour. Then Jake walked out of the meeting. Oh boy, he was pissed."
Me: "I don't understand how they operate over there. It's a different universe.
MyBoss: "Since the alert was for their system, nobody looked at the details. I know I didn't. If you didn't respond pointing out the real problem, they would have passed the buck to the other team and wasted hours chasing a non-existent problem. Now they have to take resources away from their main project and answer to the VP for the delay. I'm sure they are prefixing your name right now with 'that asshole'"
Me: "Not the first, won't be the last."2
everyone got the same hardware because senior dev liked it
So my project team was allowed to buy some hardware (monitors/keyboards/mouses etc.) so teamleader asked what we want.
senior dev: i need 1 monitor because i like to work with 1 monitor. i prefer this 27' zoll 4k monitor for around 1k dollars. since i work with multiple pc's i like this bluetooth keyboard and mouse because u can pair them with them and switch witch a click between the pc's costs around 300 dollar (1 setup of this costs 1'300 dollars)
me: so i like to use 2 monitors because i tried out multiple setups and this works for me the best (also what i have at home). but they dont need to be fancy. 2x 24' zoll montitors for each 200 dollar are enaugh (together 400 doller)
i also only work with 1 laptop and would like to have just a simple keyboard and mouse with cable because everytime they dont respons or battry runs out im fk triggered. so for me its okey if its this 30 dollar keyboard and 20 dollar mouse. it would be cool if i could get this mechanical keyboard for 80 dollars but not really needed. i only prefer mechanical keyboards a little bit more. and also i would like this mousepad i really like. it makes the mouse super responsive it's also just 10 dollars (this setup cost 510)
so at the end the teamleader was like. ah u know what senior dev has more xp and knows whats better for coding so we only buy this for every dev. but that 10 dollar mouse pad is okey u can get this extra its not that expensive.
WTF why u dont give me the cheaper setup which i more like. and why u even ask.5
I am getting so triggered over kids that post about how they want to program in java and laugh about their CS teachers teaching them old c++8
Ok, some @#$#!!@ at my company set the WordPress cache directory to "/" on a Linux server, some other plugin triggered the cache clear and the Apache user was the owner of almost all the WordPress directories of several MU installations, this all happened on a Friday afternoon.3
So my company hired a new UX girl last week, today is hers 3rd day at work.
Its 11.30 in the morning, I've been working for couple hours, on my custom module (if you have worked with drupal you know how stoked you are to write your own god damn code once in a while), im blasting some trance through the headphones. It is an early spring and the sky is clear. Perfect day non the less.
Out of nowhere this new UX girl appears near my desk, grabs my tea spoon without even asking and goes to stir her god damn tea. She throws it on the kitchen table without cleaning and goes to her desk.
I got so god damn triggered, this ruined my perfect mood for the upcoming 2 hours. Still cant think of a reason why she would do that, this is just plainly rude.15
Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."
Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."
Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "
A few years ago, I learned about tcpdump, Wireshark, and amplified my skills in SQL, shell scripting, and a combination of other convoluted shit.
It was an investigation that turned into a project within a project that called in a few expensive IBM and third-party consultants. We were supporting the source application where major delays in transactions processing were found. Basically, we have a source, a middleware, and a target so the processing of the transactions were dependent on the response of the target and the middleware but no one wants to admit or investigate their own side and blamed the source application instead since the delays were appearing there.
We were at the client site and it was very stressful hearing them talk trash about how they spent billions on a crappy application especially for the expensive IBM consultants because it's their product after all. Some clients would mockingly sing "Let's take it slow, so slow.." while transacting. The consultants kept checking the server's performance, heapdumps, and even increased the memory. They did everything for weeks and the delay kept climbing up anyway.
At this point, I already created scripts to check the memory availability of each JVM, number of sessions, and the delay per transaction per hour. I reported some HTTP response failures to our server admin and he "secretly" ran tcpdump into the server. He told me it was "illegal" to run it (company policy or some shit I don't remember) but we had no other choice so we'll keep it a secret instead. Anyway, we found a few transactions timing out after the 15 seconds wait for the response passed and then trying it again. The problem is we cannot release this information to the client, otherwise we'll have to admit doing what we did.
So I modified my SQL script to compare the processed timestamp of the previous transaction to the processed timestamp of the next transaction and so on. This gave me some insight on how the delays accumulated from a few seconds to a few hours. I gathered the logs to know when the cron task picked up the message, sent it to the external system, and when a response was sent back to the source. How happy I was when I finally have the data to support the correlation. Information that we can actually release. This triggered a full-blown investigation in the middleware and external systems side. It turned out, they were the problem, not us. At that point, their hostile little feces *ehem* faces.. were gone. The clients especially the managers were kissing our ass, probably from the guilt of shaming and blaming us and turning out wrong.
This happened a long time ago. There was a lot more details into this story and I can't write it all here but looking back, it was one of the best moments of my life. I learned a lot and this is probably the reason why I get so angry when I work with people who are so sure about their findings but have no data to support it. It can cost the company a lot. You may not realize it but your ignorance and arrogance combined is expensive.5
define every function like this:
def function ( arg ) :
bit of a nitpick I know. but when I asked her about it she said "convention" and when I asked which convention she replied with "the only one in existence"
so I was triggered by that for sure34
Fuck off cancerous piece of shit on stackoverflow whose dick is an obvious inverse proposition to ego and incapablility to read.
I asked if there's "clean" way, of doing something. I provided my solution to the problem
Your answer and coments make it pretty obvious that you:
* don't really care about (code) quality
* value your reputation just as much as some teen on facebook sucking cook for likes or whatever they use now
* downvoted my question because you can't handle critique in the slightest
* You immediately replied with "but op said..." even though I am the fucking op and if I say _imo_ a fucking for-loop within function is less readable than 3 chained function-calls it and does not include the feature I asked for, it means you have to justify your answer and not get triggered and downvote my fucking question.
After I confronted him about this shit he just said "If you had studied the language for more than 10 minutes you would have known than you can't do that."
And if you had some a basic reading skill you could improve my workaround or tell me just that, instead of providing me with that useless information you vomited out just to get some ez SO reputation.
Piece of shit didn't even deny the anyyhing.
Shove a vibrator up your ass until it arrives at your skull and activate it. Maybe that will stimulate your brain or hopefully upgrade it.
I don't care how much "reputition" you may have "earned" on the internet. I am not afraid to call your bullshit or your sheer pathetic existence out.
People like this are are the reason SO gets so much hsge and even tough I got an improved version for my workaround (from an other user), I'm nowhere near happiness.
Note, the Useful-to-retarded-ratio is
While live streaming Google pixel launch, every time the guy on stage say Ok Google my phone triggered it 😁😁😁4
Had the Windows Insider Preview for a month or so to get Ubuntu Subsystem early back when it was Insider-only.
Turns out that your license policy changes when you use Preview builds: if your PC isn't updated to a certain build by checkpoints set throughout the year, your license expires and you have to reinstall Windows. No way to recover anything already on the device. So if you get Insider Preview and shut your laptop off for too long...
Thus began a killer combo attack on my Surface Pro 3.
While trying to figure out what was going on and loading up a recovery on a flash drive, the Surface Pro 3 BIOS was sitting idle behind me. On 100% CPU. The only reason I think this is that by the time I noticed the insane fan noise, the screen was hot enough to burn my finger as I tried to turn it off. The heat sensor triggered it to shut off before I could, though.
That heat sensor, however, won't turn it off if it's busy installing Windows, supposedly to keep anything from getting hopelessly corrupted. What followed we're 3 hours of fan whirring from a slab of metal hot enough to cook an egg with.
Windows is back and working. The battery indicator, however, melted during reinstallation. And the battery lasts an hour, max. Thankfully I'm not out of a tablet, but it seems to me that W10 is becoming more and more like malware, just waiting for you to activate one of it's delightful payloads.4
!rant & story_time
This happend to the startup I was working for at ~2011. I was a junior Android dev, working on a very popular app.
During experiments for a new feature, I discovered that the system AlarmManager has a serious bug - you can set a repeating alarm with interval=0ms. If your app takes more then 1 ms to handle the Intent, then the AlarmManager will start to fill up the intent Queue, with unexpected results to the OS. causing it to slow down, and reboot when it ran out of Ram. Why? my guess was that because the AlarmManager was part of the OS, then any issues caused by it caused the system process to ran out of ram, crashing it, and the whole system with it. the real kicker was that even after a reboot, the AlarmManager still had Intents queued, causing the device to bootloop for a while, untill the queue was cleared. My boss decided to report the problem to google, as this was an issue in the OS. I built an example app, that caused the crash 10-30 seconds after starting, and submitted to Google. Google responded later that day with "not an issue, no one will ever do this".
Well... At this point I decided to review the autoupdate feature in our app, to make sure this will not happen to us. We just released a new feature where a user can set an update schedule option in the app settings - where you could setup a daily, weekly, or hourly update for the app. after reviewing it, It looked good, and the issue was not triggered in the manual QA I did. So, it was all good. And we released an updated version to the store.
After we did an update-install, we discoverd that, there was a provlem reading the previous version SharedPrefs value for the update schdule settings, and the value defaulted to 0...
the result was, our app caused all our users to go into a bootloop, and because the alarm was reset when the devices booted up, the bootloop could only be solved in a factory reset, or removing our app, before the device rebooted, and then waiting a few reboot cycles.
We lost 50 places in the market, and it took us 6 months to get back to where we were.
It was not my fault, but it sucked big time!5
#define Minion (A junior from my college)
Minion : Hey, can you suggest me from some good project for my final year.
Me : Sure , which "programming language" do you know?
Minion : Well i am good at HTML.
Me : Ya sure , make a "program" using HTML only that takes input from a user and prints that nth prime number.
Minion : 😱😱😱😱5
Don't get me wrong, I hate using Java for real life projects. But there is a reason why almost every university use it as introduciton language. It's great start to learn programming. Saying that the 'Hello World' in Java is complex and can scare people away, it's complete nonsens. For fuck sake, yes programming should be fun, but it is also hard. People can understand that they are going to learn what 'public static voiď means later. It's the structure of many Computer Science classes. It's the assigments that are not designed in engaging and fun way for newcomers. That's the problem, not the language.21
When every time your coworker start a new project, they just use the template out of the box including the sass, less and other unused dependencies eventhough they don’t use it3
I was about to use the Duolingo but I think it triggered me to hard. 2 mistakes in a row.
1. I have Portuguese origins and they used the Brazilian flag
2. I was born in Luxemburg and they just used our flag for The Netherlands (I know they're pretty similar but cmooooon)19
From past one hour, I am trying to open homepage of devRant on my laptop but motherfucking Windows update auto triggered and is hogging the entire bandwidth.
It is taking more than five minutes to load homepage of Google.
FUCK EVERY MICROSOFT PRODUCT IN ITS FUCKING ASSSSSSSSS...
I am sooo fucking pissed.
I am glad that I am using a pirated version of this product and not wasted my hard earned money on this steaming shit.39
I completwly hate windows. Tomorrow I've got an exam, I wanted to play for an hour before I go to sleep to relax. Boot into windows half an hour early because I knew it would fuck up somehow (I'm usually on linux, windows is there only for games). Graphics card driver isn't working anymore (AMD), uninstall with their tool, restart. And now windows goes like "FUCK YOU!!! YOU ARE NOT PLAYING SHIT TODAY YOU SAD FUCK!" in the form of "Getting windows ready for you, please don't turn off your computer" for the past 2 hours. I just wanted to play a game and now I'm so fuckin triggered by this non-sense of an OS, how can someone make something so fuckin shit5
Foday my father argued with me that:
* "HTML programmers" get payed a lot
* WordPress is awesome
* wordpress programmers get payed a lot
* WordPress doesn't need to be secure
* FileMaker is 100% virus-free (probably malware free), because not many people use it
* UX and UI design are exactly the same6
A big fucking corporation,
Have this many,
So, recently we have added a feature to find nearest agents(users) in our app, yay,
Nothing fancy, just showing a list (of user data, address, distance, geographical position and such), if clicked will open a map app (deep link to google or else) showing the clicked user’s position
Then comes around the product owner relaying a message from the fucking “business guys”, and their request was,
“Can you make a url that can be shared in whatsapp or instagram, then when people clicked on it, it will open a map that shows all of our nearest users, and it must be accessible from public”
Never have I had the urge to act impolitely like today, well that’s what happens when an entire business division is ran by a bunch of fucking dinosaurs,11
I brushed my teeth and went to bed at 10, opened up youtube and just chilled out,
boss calls me up at 11 I'm like, nah fam tomorrow...
Calls again and again and again, calling for the 6 time on 2 numbers!?
(M8 can't u see I'm out)
Then he texts me, bro, it's urgent!
I decide to call him up.
Boss: hey dude
Me: hey (trying to not get triggered)
Me: so what's so urgent?
Boss: OK so 2 things, I will email all of our job applicants on August 28, 2: are you available tomorrow?
Me: ( LITERALLY GOT TRIGGERED AS FUCK, THOUGHT WE HAD A DICK PICTURE ON OUR SITE OR HOSTINGER DECIDED TO BILL 2 TIMES)
ME: 👏Dude, this is so urgent? R u kidding me???? Am I available tomorrow and you will email are job applicants on August 28????
Ffs I swear6
I accidentally triggered a reindex on an database with 14 million records in it. It prevented hundreds of people from doing their jobs for several hours. Probably cost the company tens of thousands of dollars. Didn't get fired for it, but man it didn't feel good...
This white line at the top on Spotify Windows desktop app is triggering me. And no it's not my screen.7
When I started university, I was getting out of some really awful situations-- emotionally abusive parents, a boyfriend who was blackmailing me, a truly bizarre rape, etc. My life had been a little rough, and I was dealing with some PTSD.
My first computer science course was great. The professor was clear, patient, everything a sensitive student needed. I was able to concentrate on the curriculum without any problems.
The second 'intermediate' course, though? Not so much. The professor shouted his lectures during the entire class period in a relatively small classroom. Occasionally, he would clasp his hands and move around pretty unpredictably (like jumping out at the class), which spooked me a few times. He also always seemed like he was just hovering on the edge of madness, like he was just barely keeping it together, but he never broke.
I sat in the front row and was absolutely terrified during his lectures because it seemed like he was mad at me. I was half expecting him to start attacking me at any moment. Because, you know, PTSD.
I was also only getting a comp sci minor, so the other students looked at me like I wasn't supposed to be there, which also made me feel pretty uncomfortable, but such is life.
After most classes with him, I would need to take about an hour or two afterwards to calm down, stop shaking, and recompose myself. I looked forward to test days because he wouldn't yell. It was rough.
Later on, I learned that he used to be a gym teacher, which explains the jumping and yelling. Also, his wife, daughter, and dog all died within six months of each other the year prior, which might explain why he always seemed so on edge.3
First rant: but I'm so triggered and everyone needs a break from all the EU and PC rants.
incredible async code (await/async)
universal support on almost everything connected to the internet
runs on almost all platforms including natively
dynamically interpreted but also internally compiled (like Perl)
gave birth to JSON (you're welcome ppl who remember that the X in AJAX stood for XML)
All these people ranting about JS don't understand that JS isn't frikin magic. It does what it needs to do well.
If you're using it for compute-heavy machine learning, or to maintain a 100k LOC project without Typescript, then why'd you shoot yourself in the foot?
As a proud JS developer I gotta scroll through all these posts gushing over the other languages. Why does nobody rant about using Python for bitcoin mining or Erlang to create a media player?
Cuz if you use the wrong tool for the right job, it's of course gonna blow up in your face.
For example, there was a post claiming JS developers were "scared" of multithreading and only stick in their comfort zone. Like WTF when NodeJS came out everything was multithreaded. It took some brave developers to step out of the comfort zone to embrace the event loop.
For a web app, things like PHP and Node should only be doing light transforms between the database information and HTML anyways. You get one thread to handle the server because you're keeping other threads open to interface with databases and the filesystem. The Nexus.js dev ranting on all us JS devs and doesn't realize that nobody's actual web server is CPU bound because of writing HTML bodies, thats why we only use 1 thread. We use other worker threads to do the heavy lifting (yes there is a C++ bridge look it up)
Anyways TL;DR plz respect JS developers we're people too. ES7 is magic and please don't shit on ES3 or we'll start shitting on the Python 2-3 conversion (need to maintain an outdated binary just cuz people leave out ()'s in their print statements)
Or at least agree that VB.NET is an abomination and insult to the beauty that is TI-84 BASIC13
@netikras since when does proprietary mean bad?
Lemme tell you 3 stories.
- come in to the office
- use internal resources (company newsletter, jira, etc.)
- connect to client's VPN using Cisco AnyConnect
- lose access to my company resources, because AnyConnect overwrites routing table (rather normal for VPN clients)
- issue a route command updating routing table so you could reach confluence page in the intranet
- route command executes successfully, `route -n` shows nothing has changed
- google this whole WTF case
- Cisco AnyConnect constantly overwrites OS routing table to ENFORCE you to use VPN settings and nothing else.
Sooo basically if you want to check your company's email, you have to disconnect from client's VPN, check email and reconnect again. Neat!
Can be easily resolved by using opensource VPN client -- openconnect
- get a server in your company
- connect it to client's VPN and keep the VPN running for data sync. VPN has to be UP at all times
- network glitch [uh-oh]
- VPN is no longer working, AnyConnect still believes everything is peachy. No reconnect attempts.
- service is unable to sync data w/ client's systems. Data gets outdated and eventually corrupted
OpenConnect (OSS alternative to AnyConnect) detects all network glitches, reports them to the log and attempts reconnect immediatelly. Subsequent reconnect attempts getting triggered with longer delays to not to spam network.
SYMANTEC VIP (alleged 2FA?):
- client's portal requires Sym VIP otp code to log in
- open up a browser in your laptop
- navigate to the portal
- enter your credentials
- click on a Sym VIP icon in the systray
- write down the shown otp number
- log in
umm... in what fucking way is that a secure 2FA? Everything is IN the same fucking device, a single click away.
Can be easily solved by opensource alternatives to Sym VIP app: they make HTTP calls to Symantec to register a new token and return you the whole totp url. You can convert that url to a qr code and scan it w/ your phone (e.g. Google's Authenticator). Now you have a true 2FA.
Proprietary is not always bad. There are good propr sw too. But the ones that are core to your BAU and are doing shit -- well these ARE bad. and w/o an oppurtunity to workaround/fix it yourself.20
"A Single Line of Computer Code Put Thousands of Innocent Turks in Jail"
I'll leave the title as it was, but people were hunted down just for having been once logged by a tracking pixel inside a messaging app.
Simply terrifying, I hold that off for a while, since it sounded like the usual fakes, but it seems its not, as more and more keep confirming it.
"The government eventually exonerated 11,480 of the wrongly accused, but some had already spent months in prison, and reportedly some even committed suicide."
"Elif finished dressing her youngest and watched police search her family's home before they took her into custody — for using a messaging app the government deems seditious.
She knew the arrest was coming. She'd already lost her job, because traces of the app known as Bylock were found on her phone"
"The regime relies on logs from the country's ISPs to identify users of Bylock, fingerprinting them on the basis of their communications with Bylock's servers. These communications can be triggered without using Bylock, though: Bylock's tracking pixel was used for analytics for pop-up ads and in at least eight apps."
Ah, this reminds me of how much I hate IBM. They released a new version of this solution that we're using in a project and there is almost no documentation. They have an overview and like five methods. I'm not a spoonfeed kind of person but to give you an idea, they released the complete documentation over two years later and it has hundreds of methods.
Before it was released, if you google a certain topic, you're either not gonna get any results or you'll find yourself in a bunch of unanswered StackOverflow questions from your fellow lost souls. I had a requirement that needs a method that I don't know about so they basically expect me to guess what it is. The thing is that task can be accomplished using the UI but I need to do it using scripts because it has to be triggered automatically. The fact that you can do the task using the UI of course means that there's a method out there that you just haven't seen yet. And the thought itself is just torture so I decompiled the Java classes and looked for the method myself then. When I finally accomplished my requirement, I searched for that method on the internet and voila, it does not exist yet. I spent the rest of the night until morning testing all the methods I found and documenting them.
Of course they released the documentation a few months after I'm done making a documentation of my own. I just love them.6
Interesting how toxic people can be.
You walk into discord server. You see linux channel. OK
You help about 10 guys with their problems.
You help some guy set up mySQL. Someone needs to set up SSH and you know all that crap.
Then somebody says python is best. Why dont you fuck bash and use python.
This got me triggered af as the person on the other side didnt know the fucking use case of BASH apparently.
You explain to him or her that you have to know the language pretty good to make something really cool in it. And that python isnt always good for everything you also type (Python is garbage from my opinion) cause they wrote that BASH is garbage.
He calls you piece of shit for pretty much no good reason and asks you what do you know about linux.
Like WTF are you blind ?
I just helped half your entire community solve their problems because apparently you coudlnt.
Calls you fucking idiot for calling her or him stupid.
Like WTF ?
I called the community toxic as fuck since from my point of view it is.
Left the discord with words "Fuck this. As i see it this would just go on until somebody would just left. As i have to finish the code im working on i will just end it here. Have a nice day"
Now i want feedback on why the fuck she or he called me piece of shit ?
I mean is this normal ?
FFS when you walk into community and you help half of the people there cause admin coudlnt and you just say your opinion as the admin did and she or he calls you piece of shit then like WTF ?13
Maybe !rant ???
Today some chinese guys found my License Server IP(Linux Based) and started bruteforcing my SSH. My reponse is: Fail2Ban, and then when it gets triggered, it sends a request to the abuseipdb,and this way I might help other people too... Do you think my idea is good?24
Ok going to rant about other developers this time.
Can you please stop doing just the minimal amount of work on your games/apps?!
I understand you may not have the time to go through with a fine tooth comb but just delay it, delay it and finish the product to a state that doesn't feel half assed and broken right at the get go.
A small note that the thing that triggered me with this is Android Devs at the moment, with Google requiring you support the adaptive icons and a newer SDK, so many Devs are just scraping by and putting in no effort to bring things up to date (also put more effort into adaptive icons rather than just putting your old square Icon on a white background)
This shit is just leading to everything being 'early access' or in a constant 'beta' stage with the promise of polish later.
Don't be that guy, put the extra few days of polish in... Just please...19
I'm an active user here so I know most of you.
I created a throwaway because I consider this a sensitive subject to me, and don't want people here to think I'm crazy.
I have some form of ocd but I don't know exactly which subtype it is.
It's not really something that makes my life impossible, but it makes me feel awful from time to time.
the way it works is that I imagine accidents happening to me or people I love, and I get triggered more if they are potentially caused by a mistake from me and they feel very vivid in my mind.
It's awful and terrifying.
Being close to anything that could cause harm is a trigger:
heights without any type of fall protection, knives, elevators, escalators, being on a plane
Being close to/in said objects/situations can start a clip in my mind as if I was watching a final destination movie.
This is a stronger obsession if it happens because of my fault, like tripping with my kid in my arms, or fumbling a knife while I cook.
Sometimes I react by curling and doing a painful expression and twitching a bit, even in public.
it's terribly painful.
i look like a crazy person, although considering what I'm writing, i probably am. It's just that I feel very scared of strangers in public noticing what I'm doing and finding out I'm crazy.
sometimes I get scared of the possibility of me being an actual psycho like the ones you see on crime shows.
as far as i know i think im normal in terms of compassion, empathy to others and never had any interest in harming others.
it's just part of the ocd, being hypervigilant of me, obsessing over me causing harm either accidentally or deliberately.
I'm also very scared of puking in public, or even worse, in front of friends.
Specially true if you're eating but you're seated in a spot where there's no way out except if everybody gets up.
I start by becoming self conscious of the possibility of puking, and sometimes I twitch a bit too, while trying to not look too crazy and joping that the next bite doesn't cause me to projectile vomit over people.
I hate this shit.27
Oh man. I have been waiting for this one. Gather round lil' chil'rens it's story time.
So. I was looking for a new project because my old one was wrapping up and that's what my company does. So I was offered some simulation type stuff. I was like "sure why not, I want to make a computer pretend it isn't a computer no more." Side note I should not be a psychiatrist.
So, prior to coming on to this job I felt stifled by my old job's process. This job was a smaller team so I thought the process would be a little smoother. But it turned out they had NO process. Like they had a bug tracking system and they held the meeting to add things to the system, but that was just fucking lip service to a process.
First of all, they used the local disk on the test box as their version control. and had no real scheme as to how they organized it. We had a CM tool but gods forbid they ever fucking use it. I would be handed problem reports and interface change requests, write a bug to track it, go into the code and about 75% of the time or more it had already been worked. However, there was no record of it being worked and I would have to fucking hunt that shit down in a terribly shitty baseline (standardize your gods damned indentation for fuck's sake) and half the time only found out it was done because when I finally located the piece of code that needed changing, the work was already done.
Then, on top of all that, they ask me what time I want to come in. I said 10am, they said okay. One day I roll in at 10 and my boss is mad. Because I missed a meeting. That was at 9. That I wasn't told about. He says I can keep coming in at 10am though (I asked and volunteered to help get him up to speed on the things I was working he said it wasn't necessary) so I did, but every time I missed a 9am meeting he would get pissed. I'm like PICK ONE!!! They move the meeting to 9:30am (which is not 10am).
This shit starts affecting my health negatively. Stress is apt to do that. It triggered an anxiety relapse that pushed me back in to therapy for the first time in 7 years. On top of that the air quality in the office is so bad that I am getting back to back sinus infections and I get put on heavy antibiotics that tear up my stomach along with the stress and new meds tearing up my stomach. So one day as I am laid out in pain, I call out sick. Two days in a row. (Such a heinous crime right.) Well I missed a test event, that I wasn't even the primary or secondary on.
So fast forward to the most pissed off I have ever been. I get called in to a meeting with my boss's boss. As it turns out, my coworkers are not satisfied by the work that I'm doing (funny because I thought I was doing pretty good given that my only direction was fix the interface change reports and problem reports. And there was no priority assigned to any of them).
And rather than tell me any of this, they go behind my back to the boss and boss's boss. They tell me I need to communicate (which I did) and ask for help when I need it (I never did). That I missed an important event (that I played no part in and gods forbid I be sick) and that it seemed like I didn't want to be there (I didn't but who WANTS to work a corporate job).
They put me on a performance improvement plan and I jumped to another project. I am much happier now. Old coworkers won't even say hi, not even those I was friendly with, but fuck them anyway.5
One of my colleagues held a very short, literally 5 minutes, interview today. The candidate was looking for an android developer position.
Me: Done already?😕
C: Yep. Had enough.
Me: How come?
C: I asked him if he has any apps on the store? No. Any public git? No. Any apk? No.
C: Ok what experience do you have?
Dude: I worked on a app similar to imdb 4 years ago. I made a page for it.
C: *Page* *triggered* *internal screaming* 😂
C: Ok and since then?
C; Ok, we'll call you.
Best ot luck in your android dev career mate. Never gonna hear from us.
How can you come to an interview and be so unprepared. Was he delosutional or something?😕2
Instead of writing migrations the former dev implemented a migrate route. Wich triggered a method on the "mainController" to run several SQL statement and migrate.
1. When two solutions architect in their 50's started having an email fight while the other one is sharing his screen to me. It started when our SA reported an issue to the other SA's workstream. He was demonstrating one of the dev work he wanted me to do when the other SA responded to his email saying "You're just making all these issues and blaming us before we blame you." Our SA couldn't let it pass and responded while he was sharing his screen and asked, "What did I do?"
It was funny because our SA just got back from a tax break and his first innocent email ever got an aggressive response.
2. When a middleware expert bragged about her willingness to help us optimize our application. It turned out, it was their system that's causing the issue.
3. When a colleague got too comfortable and decided to respond to my work-related email about video games. I responded nicely that I didn't have time to play these days and he said, "because all you do in your condo is have sex". He was joking and he's a known dumbass, btw. I let it slide for a couple of months then after my last day, I forwarded his email to the project manager. It got him so furious and an investigation if other employees are experiencing the same behavior from that guy started.
I quit that job for other reasons but the fact that I reported it after I'm gone made my manager think that the guy was the reason I left and that I didn't feel safe saying it while I was there which made him even more angry at the guy.
4. The time when a junior developer used curse words as test data. One of them in all caps "SMEGMA". My team was pretty cool about it, had a good laugh, and just told him to stop doing it. Then he responded to my email with "EZ" which meant "easy" when I said he did a good job in one of the activities.
This triggered the fuck out of my team members and they gave him hell. No one disrespects Senpai. One of my team members made him cry and pretty much told that he hasn't proven anything yet and his attitude is fucking unacceptable.
5. When two business analysts started fighting during a conference call and the solutions architect was playing referee. One of the BAs don't know shit about the application and the other BA just told her to learn the application because it's necessary to do her job. The other BA started bitching and whining about it while the other one tells her that she's just trying to help. Then she said, "No! You're not helping anything."
And many more. I don't remember most of them.6
The web scraping shit yesterday stressed me out and triggered my nasal allergy. I took some antihistamine as soon as I got home from work and fell asleep only to wake up at 7PM unable to fall back to sleep. I took another 50mg and started playing Deltarune.
I stayed up all night just to flush the fucking toilet in a fucking video game. This is how I want my game to look like if I ever finally develop one.20
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TRANSLATE PULL REQUEST TO GERMAN?
According to one of my teachers I have to translate this in a coding guideline otherwise other devs might not be able to follow the procedure...
I asked him how he would translate it and he could not give me a proper answer... describe it he said...
How the fuck does it improve my guidelines if I describe PR!!!
And if your not capable of doing it better how should I know I have to do it!
Sorry I looked at an old exam and got triggered when I saw the correction22
So I have this 13 year old cousin who's pretty determined to follow my footsteps as a developer someday. He really likes gaming and all internet stuffs. His future plans makes me happy since I may finally have a relative that is a developer. But darn it! He's kinda weird coz he still throws tanrums. One of his major tantrums(which happened again last night) is that he wants the wireless Karaoke machine to be turned off because he thinks that it's slowing down the internet. It was his sister's birthday party and the guests are partying. I've told him many times that the signal for the karaoke is different from that of the router which has nothing to do with the internet slowing down. It must be caused by q device that is updating some apps or whatever. We live in the philippines and our internet provider is quite fast but it has this stupid fair usage policy that caps our bandwidth to a minimum speed if we reach a certain amount of data usage. Since he goes to youtube everyday in 480 and 720p, I explained it to him that it was one of the causes.
Last night, I almost got triggered because I wanted him to believe about the wifi being different to that of the karaoke machine's radio and that it is not connected to the wifi and not using data. I also told him about different kinds of wireless signals which I studied as a Software Engineering student back then and yet he still doesnt believe me. And what almost triggered me is that i saw his steam client updating while watching youtube. I told him that was it. But instead of agreeing, he refused to believe me and just told me that steam is just updating and he's not downloading anything which made me think why he keeps going to youtube, because...he's not downloading. Oh God! Good luck to this kid. 😂5
IF YOU UPDATE AN ADM PLATTFORM FOR FUCKS SAKE DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS:
1. ONLY DOCUMENTATE IT IN A POWERPOINT
2. WRITE DOWN IPs AND PORTS ONLY ON A WHITE-BORD
3. MOVE TOOLS TO OTHER SUBNETS OR DOMAINS WITHOUT PROPERLY KNOWING THE WAYS OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THEM
4. USE YOUR PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS AS RESET OPTION FOR LICENCE-MANAGEMENT ACCESS IF NO ONE KNOWS THE PW
5. LEAVE THE COMPANY THE DAY AFTER THE UPGRADE IS DONE
Because the guy who has to take care of the upcoming problems is not going to like you!
BUT having to deal with all of this at once would not be a problem if your, so called team (30 People who work with those applications e.g. as test-engineers) would actually work together instead of having that "not my daily business, I am going to drink coffee" attitude.
Apparently I am the only one who has enough balls to see, admit, and report a problem to our leadership.
This always leads to Me fixing the issue...
....that's alright I am learning a lot...
...BUT IF A TEAM-MATE, WHO HAS THE SAME DEGREE AS I AM GOING TO GET, LEAVES EARY BECAUSE: "HE DOES NOT KNOW WHATS WRONG", IT TRIGGERS ME!!!
- The apprenticeship guy
PS Needless to say hundreds of clients have access to those systems and I worked through a shittload of official tool docs just to get to know the tools first...6
I was asked to fix a critical issue which had high visibility among the higher ups and were blocking QA from testing.
My dev lead (who was more like a dev manager) was having one of his insecure moments of “I need to get credit for helping fix this”, probably because he steals the oxygen from those who actually deserve to be alive and he knows he should be fired, slowly...over a BBQ.
For the next few days, I was bombarded with requests for status updates. Idea after idea of what I could do to fix the issue was hurled at me when all I needed was time to make the fix.
Dev Lead: “Dev X says he knows what the problem is and it’s a simple code fix and should be quick.” (Dev X is in the room as well)
Me: “Tell me, have you actually looked into the issue? Then you know that there are several race conditions causing this issue and the error only manifests itself during a Jenkins build and not locally. In order to know if you’ve fixed it, you have to run the Jenkins job each time which is a lengthy process.”
Dev X: “I don’t know how to access Jenkins.”
And so it continued. Just so you know, I’ve worked at controlling my anger over the years, usually triggered by asinine comments and decisions. I trained for many years with Buddhist monks atop remote mountain ranges, meditated for days under waterfalls, contemplated life in solitude as I crossed the desert, and spent many phone calls talking to Microsoft enterprise support while smiling.
But the next day, I lost my shit.
I had been working out quite a bit too so I could have probably flipped around ten large tables before I got tired. And I’m talking long tables you’d need two people to move.
For context, unresolved comments in our pull request process block the ability to merge. My code was ready and I had two other devs review and approve my code already, but my dev lead, who has never seen the code base, gave up trying to learn how to build the app, and hasn’t coded in years, decided to comment on my pull request that upper management has been waiting on and that he himself has been hounding me about.
Two stood out to me. I read them slowly.
“I think you should name this unit test better” (That unit test existed before my PR)
“This function was deleted and moved to this other file, just so people know”
A devil greeted me when I entered hell. He was quite understanding. It turns out he was also a dev.3
App fails, Check logs...No error logged. Check source code and debug....
And then you see following piece of code....
//Code to hit an API
/*DO NOTHING. Not even log stack trace*/
Fucking apple & Mac OS..
So.. Before high sierra, you could create a USB using boot camp.
All good & dandy without too much fuss.
No longer. instead it automatically mounts & copies the os onto a apfs partition(?) and without as much as a mention or warning it just reboots immediately when it's done.
Srsly, not even a silly "hey, we need to reboot"..
Now, I could probably have gone to diskutil, formatted, set the boot flags and copied the files..
But rly, Nvm that.
Besides I might actually find some use in a windows install.
So needing to install windows to create an USB is acceptable.
But Bloody hell, it's been a while since I've been in this triggered from something..
T_T no warnings, just force reboot into windows.
Spend 10 minutes patiently waiting for a progress bar to gradually make its way to the end, only to reset to the beginning and start all over again. Realize you actually have NO idea what the actual progress is or how long this is going to take and that the first progress bar was actually just representing the progress to this realization.
Sitting at traffic lights on my way home from work thinking about the programming behind how often the windscreen wipers are triggered, how to store the values of each wiper setting in a meaningful data type, and how to handle the event of changing wiper settings eg. to ensure the wipers aren't triggered immediately when increasing the frequency.
Wish my mind could rest when I'm outwith work but I experience this sort of thing worse after drinking alcohol. Must have a problem.6
Colleague from other department : Hey man I don't think my laptop can access to my company mail do you think you can fix it?
Me, newly working as an application programmer : Nah sorry man, perhaps you could ask that technician by the server room. He will know more hardware than I do.
Colleague : But aren't you also an IT specialist?
Me : Did you just assume my occupation?
Google got rid of the awesome Inbox app, only to force us back on Gmail with fucking NATIVE ADS! This one really triggered me14
I am scared... I'm scared because the code works.. but it shouldn't work I mean it's not supposed to get triggered and I have no idea what triggers it. It feels like my program got cursed and started doing things on it's own. I even put up blocks to stop the function from triggering but it still works... It always works.. I am scared...8
Most succesful project was around this time last year.
A scary club of privacy haters made a 'webapp' to advise people what to vote for in the national elections.
The tool was really bad in multiple ways. For instance, if two parties would score the same amount of points, one would, at random take second place without conveying this to the user.
Oh and it also collected all the data people entered "for scientific purposes". A very sketchy practice, a non profit, funded by the government and George Soros (I kid you not, illuminatie confirmed ;) ).
The tool had this disclaimer on the bottom, saying this webapp needs cookies to function. So that triggered me to make a copy of the tool that works better and ... offline, and without cookies. You could download a html file and turn of your wifi (for the paranoid ppl among us), use the tool, delete the file. No trace.
It was a little bit of tung and cheek project, a gimick, the original was called stemwijzer, mine was called offline stemwijzer.
It was a one day build and a day after launching I got a call of the original stemwijzer project leader. Demanding to take the thing offline for infringing copyright (yeah sort of was). I tried to explain him why I made this and why privacy for such things should be held in high regard. He basicly told me I was talking shit and did not want to discuss, I told him I don't take stuff offline because of phone calls. I told him to email me a seist and desist.
So that guy prolly had a stressful day (because of the launch of his tool), had a few glasses of wine, and wrote an email. He wrote me I was a pathtic kid and I should do more useful stuff. He wrote that anyone could program a tool like that. And he wrote me I should do him a favour not share this email with my measly amount of twitter followers. Super professional email.
So I did him that favour, I did not share it with my twitter followers, I shared it with one of the largest political blogs in the country.
My tool sort of took of after that. To stop infringing copy right I changed the name and I removed their content from the script and wrote instructions on how to copy and paste in the json content yourself and "make your own tool".
The response was great, people actually emailed me job offers and I think that the current job I have is due to the succes of said project. So be balsy, challenge giants, start riots, it will get you places.2
I learned the first things in php by the Sololearn app. If that count's as an teacher, it was quite a good one, cause it triggered my interest and guided me into this forest where only google and probably stackoverflow will lead out.3
When my mom died in 2014, I was shocked to find that her profile on Facebook was suddenly changed to “memorial” mode and therefore I was no longer able to log into it. (If you’re tempted to tell me I’m dumb for using it, I don’t disagree, but save it for another thread...she and I kept in touch over FB because it was easier for her to manage.)
I think it was triggered by their monitoring of things and seeing keywords like “funeral” and “passed away” associated with her account, then having a person on their end change its status. Or something like that.
What I hadn’t known about (or I would have used it) was the legacy contact setting where she could have set me as the contact so I’d have at least a little access and control. But because of their strict policies, I’m forever locked out.
I get why they need to do this (to avoid fraud and impersonations) but the fact that there are zero documents or proofs I, as the executor of her estate, can provide that Facebook will accept to make an exception seems unnecessarily severe.
Anyone else experience this? Known workarounds?9
I finally have a day off to work on some projects in peace. Oh wait, my fucking roommate keeps knocking on the door every 3 seconds. LEAVE. ME. THE. FUCK. ALONE.1
This is a personal rant, not a devRant. BUT ITS STILL A FUCKING RANT.
Anyways, I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, only one. That one friend used to pull of his moods on me, and I was more or less okay with that. When he was in a bad mood, I didn't annoy him too much. However, I expect the same from him.
Today he really triggered me badly, and at some point he knew he should just leave me alone. We were in a LoL lobby, and went into the Discord where I could hear how he is dragging me down, saying I'm an asshole etc. As a result of that, I left the lobby, and heard him say more bullshit. Then he talked about how he left at another server, since they were assholes and excluded them.
At was at that point were they deafed me. Meaning, I couldn't hear nor what they were saying or speak for myself. What is this bullshit? I mean, if your fucking best friend does this shit to you, how can you have faith or trust anybody else? It's just really fucked up, and fucking bullshit, and like the only place where I can vent off is here.
What a fucking piece of shit. And I keep forgiving him.6
It would have been back in the 90s 🤫
I was about 8 years old I guess when I had a friend who had a Commodore64 and he loaded up the good old floppy, typed some things in and the screen started doing things, my mind was instantly triggered for “how did you do that?”.
Moving forward after that I was into gaming on consoles (sega, snes, Atari ect) and always wondered how the games were made (being pre-internet) that was not easy to find info for, otherwise I think inprobably would have ended up in the game dev world.
It wasn’t until I was about 10-11 that I finally got a PC in the house ( good old IBM 386 with 10mb HDD.. yes MB not GB for you young folk) and I was addicted from day one, MS paint, changing settings left right and Center in windows 3.11 and then when we upgraded to W95 and then W98 things got more and more interesting.
God the memories, and games (MAME32 was the best)😆
Shit now I want to find some old school games for a trip up memory lane 😂
When I was 15, I made my first website in front page (don’t judge), was a nice big walkthrough with photos and map locations for GTA 3, and since then I’ve never looked back.
Non techie colleague: ... Yeah she really likes sending gifs
Me: is it 'gif' or 'jif'
Non techie: "I don't know 'gif' - 'jif', no 'jif just sounds weird"
Me: ah but the creator called them 'jifs'
TECHIE colleague: yeah well he's just wrong!7
Uh-oh I fucked up.
Not at work, but with my website where I had an email forwarder to an external address. The forwarding was everything so that I could do the spam filtering and occasional check in one place. Unfortunately, that triggered the spam detection at the external address (after some years!), and my provider ended up on a blacklist.
That got me a pretty angry mail from my hosting provider who had already disabled the forwarding and wanted to make sure that I understood the issue and would not put it in again.
I thought about whether they had fucked up because it was even possible to do that, or whether I had fucked up because I should have known. Hm yeah I opted for the latter and apologised.
The support guy seemed happy that I didn't try to argue (possibly like other customers...), and advised that I just should add another account in my email client. Sure, at least that will prevent this shit from happening again.
He also mentioned that every single blacklist issue they had experienced in this year was accidental due to external forwarding issues and that they would consider just disabling it altogether.
Which is probably a smart move, just as hint for these ranters here who work at hosting companies. Or at least only enable external forwarding if spam assassin or so is in place.3
I suspected that our storage appliances were prematurely pulling disks out of their pools because of heavy I/O from triggered maintenance we've been asked to automate. So I built an application that pulls entries from the event consoles in each site, from queries it makes to their APIs. It then correlates various kinds of data, reformats them for general consumption, and produces a CSV.
From this point, I am completely useless. I was able to make some graphs with gnumeric, libre calc, and (after scraping out all the identifying info) Google sheets, but the sad truth is that I'm just really bad at desktop office document apps. I wound up just sending the CSV to my boss so he can make it pretty.1
Less a rant and more of a rave about the Racket language.
If you haven't heard of it, Racket is a Scheme/Lisp that eases programming language development.
Let me break down why this is handy. When you come to dislike a language, it's because of limitations in the language itself or its ecosystem. That, and you are always obliged to translate your ideas to the terms of the language, the libraries in that language, and the idioms in both. Overall it starts to feel like a cage, because even if you git gud at a limited language, you still might not be able to do the things you REALLY want to do.
Lisps turn this on its head by letting you translate the solution to your terms rather than making you translate your solution to its terms. Lisps are homoiconic, which is a fancy word meaning that all valid programs in the language are also valid literal expressions of data in the same language. The code/data divide collapses and you can at any moment decide "Hey, this code I'm writing? It's data now and I'mma generate stuff with it." That's when you start getting macros and the beginnings of serious metaprogramming.
Racket made this mind-bendingly powerful. To the point that some of the language features make you gawk and say "Ok, but why anyone would ever need to do THAT?!" Some examples include converting compile-time errors to run-time errors and writing your own exception handling system.
But the kicker is that Racket is the only language I know of where you can say "You know what? Racket is sucking at this thing I want to do right now. I wish my language looked like THIS" and then you can use Racket to write your language in terms of Racket, and then your language becomes a valid extension of the Racket ecosystem. Your custom language can still import and use the rest of the ecosystem.
So, in a single Racket project, you can have a typed language, an untyped language, a configuration language and a markup language, and all of them can use the same libraries. It also means that if you have an accountant, ops manager or designer in house, you can write a little language for them that that understand and integrate their understanding of a solution with your system.
Why are relatively few using this box of magic?
Well, for one thing, it's hard. Unlike most, Racket enjoys the benefits of seriously amazing, complete and correct documentation. Which SOUNDS great, but here's a direct quote from one part of it.
"The intent of a cross-phase persistent module is to support values that are recognizable after phase crossings. For example, when a macro transformer running in phase 1 raises a syntax error as represented by an exn:fail:syntax instance, the instance is recognizable by a phase-0 exception handler wrapping a call to eval or expand that triggered the syntax error, because the exn:fail:syntax structure type is defined by a cross-phase persistent module.
A cross-phase persistent module imports only other cross-phase persistent modules, and it contains only definitions that bind variables to functions, structure types and related functions, or structure-type properties and related functions. A cross-phase persistent module never includes syntax literals (via quote-syntax) or variable references (via #%variable-reference). See Cross-Phase Persistent Module Declarations for the syntactic specification of a cross-phase persistent module declaration."
The thing is, I know a little bit about what that means. I read their introduction guide meant for people new to the language, and made enough progress in the reference to understand these terms in isolation. But when I keep running into paragraphs like THAT, I have to review everything again because I just get lost.
The other problem may be that it has the classic Lisp Curse (http://winestockwebdesign.com/Essay...), which means its power is also its greatest weakness. The power of a programming language can grow strong enough that the people who contribute to society using it rarely bother to use each other's work.
Still, Racket has a more complete and cooperative ecosystem compared to other Lisps I've observed. I'm still a total fanboi of the language and would love to get a job using it, but it's probably a long time out.
Thanks for reading. I don't have a particular desire to tell you to drop what you are doing to use it, I just think it's cool and wanted to brag on it a bit.1
My JS app can crash IE11. Totally reproducable.
Had a fun debugging session to find out how this is triggered. Happens inside a deeply recursive call in a library I'm using which redraws the DOM.
Found a hacky workaround to avoid that as I see no real solution. It's not like I'm responsible for fixing IE. These are the days where I'm happy I'm mainly a backend dev...4
Thanks to a fellow ranter who triggered my PTSD, I will ha e to go with not only the worst, but also most evil piece of software ever conceived: MOTHER FUCKING LOTUS NOTES5
When you get into good company but end up in bad team. Worst thing to happen. I want to quit. But as of now I don't have any option.
I am way too triggered. Any one tries messing with me anymore at work, I won't be able to stop myself. I am gonna shout....take out all my anger. To hell with you assholez! I don't care if you get me kicked out of team or job! I can't take it anymore. FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!!7
What a coincidence. JQuery gets an update to 3.4.0 - and I removed the JQuery dependency that a mid-sized widget (15 kB minified) needed.
Rewriting the selector, css and trim stuff was easy. Each, children, append, empty, remove and extend were not too hard. Animations gave me more headache, but in the end, JS triggered CSS transitions worked nicely.
I was able to shave off the usual 30 kB over the wire for JQuery, and the whole thing seems snappier. Finally, I'm at vanilla everything!
Of course, it's largely due to JQuery's merits that vanilla JS is where it is today. So, thank you JQuery, and farewell.5
Today we found out that my brother has a condition, triggered by a stressful event, that causes his heart to try and shutdown.
The dev in me is screaming "fix the bug!"
The crazy in me wants to start punching doctors in the face til we find a solution.
But the rational side of me knows there's nothing that I can do because that magical asshole in the sky didn't commented his code...3
Classmate was crying, I asked her several times why are you crying. She kept saying I won't understand. I asked why can't I ?.
Because you never loved someone.
My DEV ass got triggered, and said have you ever tried Linux and Visual studio code ?
Todays rant is about me trying to add some long text into my database. I tried it all day long, but the text was inserted partially all the time. I changed the collumns data type to BLOB, this felt false, but it seemed to work. The bad feeling triggered me to search further, so I rewrote my code and found the source of this behavior. I used utf8-decode-function on my text and that triggered some problems when inserting the text. I don't completely understand it, but I solved the mystery, that fucked up the day. I will sleep good now.
I'm kind of triggered by all these social media posters and SEO optimizers and "wordpress developers", it's one of the oldest internet scam "jobs" in my eyes where anyone can do what they are doing, yet somehow they are getting paid absurd amounts of money for who knows what. I'm just triggered by how much these people get away with. And stupid ass "companies" that I see all over first google results whose pricing starts from 5k and they're resumes are stock unmodified fucking wordpress themes that cost 39-59 bucks. WHAT THE FUCK. I just want to make a huge wave about this, this is straigh up scaming people. I couldn't live with myself if I would charge this amounts of money for installing a fucking wordpress theme and uploading a few photos. Are you kidding me. And seo scammers? is writting a 200 word essay with fucking yoast seo optimisation worth a few hundred? IS IT?14
Spent my afternoon looking after the reason why a value manually set kept being overriden.
Put a die() every possible place it could happen. Every. Single. Place.
No die() got triggered.
Death sounds so sweet.1
Quick question, is it bad to quit from a job when the project is not finished yet, especially in a startup company?
My reasoning for quitting, boss doesn’t really understand how game development usually works and mostly assuming every project will be same.
Following is my rant of background story for my question.
The incident triggered me wanting to leave is as below.
G = another guy from incubating center
B = boss
G: hey B, do u know this game studio is releasing this title soon. It’s a local company. Sounds cool.
Then they went to check the company profile. Found that the company has abt 40 staffs in total.
B: hey lunadev, do u know them? They have 40 people to make 2 titles. I think we’re the smallest company in the world that developing mobile games. Ha ha ha.
Me: oh, may be their project scope is complex. But I don’t think ours is the smallest company in the world making game. (We have 5 in total including him) there are others with only 2 ppl making games. (My sarcastic side took over me and said) I think we’re the only company in the world that has such small manpower with shortest deadline.
B: then how long do u think our timeline should be?
Me: abt 2 yrs? (Me considering all the artworks, features, testing time that we have to do)
B: urmmm I don’t think it’s that long. May be abt 6 months or a year at most?
G: ya, abt 6 months. Mobile games are not like desktop games or others so should be abt 6 months. Shouldn’t take that long.
Me: ... :)
Then I packed up my stuffs and left for the day. As for side note, boss designed the game himself and it took him 5 years to add complex features. And sometimes he will still come up to us and ask us to add that feature just cuz he was just inspired by another game he just played. Now can they tell us, this game can finish in 6 months? On what ground?
And another thing that he does gets on my nerve is that he plays game during office hours while the rest of us rushing for his project and campaign.
So, if I quit now, they’d still be in the middle of development. Oh and I’m the main programmer developing the game. So, erm.. Is it wrong?7
Using the company's desktop computers to solve cryptographic puzzles (like mining) on the company's computers while the boss and someone from the IT were asking to have a look on the machine after one guy already snatched my keyboard.
Very scary moment indeed but surprisingly it turned out: the real reason why they came was because a techadmin recently removed a shared system account but some faulty clients kept flooding the servers with outdated login credentials which also triggered mass SMS on the mobile devices.
Luckily I could somehow take an opportunity to remotely call the script which pulled the emergency brake which I prepared to shut down everything. Close call.
Nowadays I think it itsn't worth to take the risk just to do something that could also be done with the own home computer even it takes five times longer.
There is a special place in hell for people that use Boostrap, only to destroy it and recreate to destroy it and recreate for "customisation purpose"
I just spent a whole day figuring out what the fuck was going on with the collapse system that wouldn't trigger or was dying to trying to, only to discover that someone played the smartass by adding or removing a class when the collapse was triggered, so it would put everything in display:none
FUN FACT : ARIA-DISPLAY="TRUE/FALSE" HAS THIS EXACT PURPOSE, FUCKHEAD5
I finally found something to rant about! So what happened is that I am participating in the Digital Ocean competition (I need to do 5PR's). So I find a report with a lot of scripts. I decide to contribute and write a discord webhook API (send messages through a webhook). The next day, the guy goes "No thanks :)" and closes the PR. Words cannot express how triggered I am. I ask him if I can make anything else out of exasperation (I did not intend to do anything for him anymore, I can't explain why I did that), he tells me no...
Oh my, never was i triggered more. Of course i can only speak for my experience. I study software development as focus.
First off, the starting languages and or concepts you learn.
Why the fuck do they start with java and don't even really explain how instances actually work? Of course they don't. Because it would be way too fucken much for a semester to go over garbage collection, Instanciation of stuff, allocation in such an advanced system, etc..
How about starting with something not 50% managed by a vm?
Good ol' C. And now don't tell me thats a rough start. We all know about these subjects or exams where it's all about sorting people out. Who will be able to manage a whole bunch of shit or who should consider something else.
Yo dawg sick idea: how about sorting it via the will to achieve the skill of coding?
Nah but we make the exams around coding (by the fucking way done on paper, what the hell) such a fucking breeze, asking you how to convert hex do dec.
Meanwhile maths will make you cut yourself in a dark corner, after you nearly shot yourself because of some lame-ass business-subject.1
WTH. My TV, with a plugged in chromecast, just turned itself on and played music that definetely was not mine.
First thought was, that someone got into my network and was jerking around. A little later I figured out, that my mom started the playlist on her phone and somehow it triggered my cast und turned the TV on.
Does anyone else here play Player Unknown's Battlegrounds and is as blown away at how fucking terrible their dev team is? I mean, I get the game is a early access and that comes with a certain level of instability, but over the last few weeks I've gotten increasingly triggered about it.
Here's a small list of what they've managed in the last few months or so.
1) Upgraded their servers and somehow managed to make the game so laggy it's unplayable.
2) Changed the DirectX requirements secretly (not even in the patch notes), but not their minimum specs, leaving people with lower end graphics cards thinking they can run the game only to get errors on launch.
3) Introduced a weekly and monthly patch system, then released patches that consistently broke the game and made it unplayable until hotfixes were pushed. They then announced they will no longer be releasing regular patches after managing to break their internal testing system. Not that they were using it anyways.
4) Major bugs and memory leaks that everyone knows about have not been fixed in months and have been instead ignored to spend time on adding more important things, like adding car horns. The fucking broken jump mechanic has gotten me killed so many fucking times because it's impossible to jump at all but yes, what I needed was a horn.
5) Downtime in the middle of the fucking day, with no warning, for things like server maintainence.
6) Promising no microtransactions in the game until full release and then, surprise, adding them anyways.
There's so much more that these fuckers have done but now I'm far too triggered to go on. Anyone else agree with me or am I just raging solo? 😂4
I have a course at my university about personal data and it feels more than a law course than a computer science one. I asked the teacher why do we have to be taught that subject and how would we be able to use what we learn in real life and she got triggered, telling me that with just by coding I won’t achieve anything and i have to learn more topics and if I didn’t want to be taught this subject why did i choose the university.
I just made a question you fuckin butthurt, chill the fuck out.3
I was over you from the second you came in my room uninvited and sprayed both me and everything else in here with perfume.
Take your 3rd grade humor somewhere else.
(Yes this is a part 2 to yesterday's rant, but this shit just keeps triggering me more. Send help.)6
What I thought coders would do when they are at home?
Building and automating everything in their life. How about a button on your wall automatically ordering your favourite pizza? A drone with a camera on the balcony that automatically gets triggered when someone rings the bell, flying down as a high tech and cool door bell camera?
Now that I am a developer, what am I writing in my spare time? Grease Monkey scripts that auto display none the "please do not use add blocker" notices. Living the life!1
Does anyone else get triggered when you use the python socket .recv() and the server does not return anything so the program just stays there indefinitely? For me, I can't even Ctrl+C it so I have to close the entire window. It's especially annoying when I start a server in the interpreter (quite a bit of lines) and I have to rewrite it afterwards.7
So, here we are using postgres in production with the fancy feature of UPSERT. We’ve got loads of request popping in, both new and updates - so the UPSERT getting triggered alot. Today we faced a problem with integer within our app stating that the number is too high. We were like «WTF? Already?!»! After looking in to the features of UPSERT, we came to realize that any sequence will be incremented regardless of an insert being handled. This results then in an ID field being defined with ids such as:
Etc. You get the point..
This design is so WTF and I have absolutely no idea why anyone would like their IDs to be generated and incremended even though there is no insert. I hope it is due to my naivity that I cannot comprhend it. Oh well. UPSERT, you’re forever gone 👍🔥2
I am in-fucking-love with myself and packages contributed to OSS communities!
TL;DR: inotify is great and I am lazy bitch so I wrote a script to kinda do my work
I took some time to write a script that takes a folder with images (Screenshots) and move them somewhere else with the last modify time as their new name (something like "Screenshot_DATE_TIME.png) because my current screenshot software for Windows (Lightshot) only saves their screenshots like this: Screenshot_<Incrementing Number>.
Once in a while I'd like to move those images away to "clean up" that folder, but I always have to create a new folder like "OLD" but that already exists so it becomes "OLD_1" which.. also existed up to "OLD_3" and I finally grew sick of it!
2ish hours later my Perl script now automatically gets triggered by inotify once a new file (Screenshot for that matter) is written or moved to the Screenshot folder and auto-fucking-matically moves it to the "new" folder with the new filename so I don't have the issue of having "OLD_1" .. "OLD_INFINITY" anymore.
Little things / scripts like these really make me feel good about what myself and my coding skills (I know, this is a somewhat trivial task but still a great experience)2
Why do people hate wordpress so much? It honestly fucks me off the amount of hate it gets and I honestly get a little triggered when people give me the "aww people who use Wordpress aren't real web devs" comment? Like fuck off i use Wordpress to make using a site more easy for my clients you daft cunt. 😩24
> Teacher uses a for loop to draw random dots
> Teacher explains we can't adjust the individual dots after the loop
> Teacher says we need to use classes
> Teacher creates classes
> Teacher doesn't show a solution to the initial problem
> Me is triggered as fuck3
I haven't killed a process in a long time so I typed, "man kill".
Why do I feel so triggered right now?3
I gave a 2 day estimate to the managers once, and a 10 minute estimate to my peers.
The server side code went smoothly. Couple of minutes, done.
Then I remembered the front end was written under a tight deadline....
Completed a python project, started as interest but completed as an academic project.
smart surveillance system for museum
To run this you need a CUDA enabled GPU on your computer. (Highly recommended)
It will also run on computers without GPU i.e. it will run on your processor giving you very poor FPS(around 0.6 to 1FPS), you can use AWS too.
About the project
One needs to collect lots of images of the artifacts or objects for training the model.
Once the training is done you can simply use the model by editing the 'options' in webcam files and labels of your object.
It continuously tracks the artifact.
Alarm triggers when artifact goes missing from the feed.
It marks the location where it was last seen.
Captures the face from the feed of suspects.
Alarm triggering when artifact is disturbed from original position.
Multiple feed tracking(If artifact goes missing from feed 1 due to occlusion a false alarm won't be triggered since it looks for the artifact in the other feeds)
Project link https://github.com/globefire/...
And this early Friday leave from work is brought to you by Microsoft.
(I did triggered the first one, but I forgot my laptop had a pending update so it's not totally windows fault)
Can someone get an excerpt from the SO user db and diff it against the DevRant user db and compile a do-not-hire list of the ones that are only on SO?
And yes, I was recently triggered by a SO elitist.
This also assumes all the nice SO members are members of DevRant, which I think is fairly accurate.2
I was having fun with GPIO recently. Now I have an RGB LED flashing in my room when my alarm clock starts ringing.
Android App sending HTTP Request when Alarm has been triggered, php starts a bash script (was too lazy to do it in php). Bash script does its job for 10 seconds.
I got triggered by a friend who was quite the genius... He told me I couldn't, took a few years and now I can :)3
TAP ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS FOR A RIGHT CLICK!!! ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS !!! NOOO NOT THE TOUCH PAD RIGHT CLICK DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!
NO NO NO DON'T DO THAT...
DON'T SCROLL BY HOLDING THE LEFT BUTTON AND DRAGGING...
TWO FINGERS SLIDE TO SCROLL
BARBARIANS ALL OF U4
I think I used to identify myself heavily by my work, career and so felt very dissatisfied I wasn't living up to my potential and getting the chances I deserved. I just couldn't get my dream job...
But now it feels like I've sorta split into Work and Life. Work does whatever is needed to pay the bills and is pretty satisfied now. Still gotta deal with monkeys but maybe devRant has helped provide an outlet to unleash the stress... and maybe sorta made it fun...
But Life juggles among different things, some time wasters, but seems now not so coding heavy anymore unless it's really inspired. And doesn't like putting aside time to prepare for interviews anymore or even actively seek out the latest tech news...
I sorta forgot what I was saying but does anyone else feel they used to have one identity but now split into 2 or more?
Actually I think this is what triggered it. Read this awhile ago but suddenly had this thought in my mind...
It triggered me so much when I heard from my teacher that “first touchscreen devices has been sold since 2010”1
i legit have ptsd and it gets triggered whenever i see math. it has traumatized me. i become anxious, even more depressed and anti confident.2
Today's achievement, refactoring forms for a better future,
Previously, a form "component", consisted of 700+ lines of unreadable mumble jumble 👉🏻👌🏻🐂💩and no room for improvement, it stores values one by one in the reducer, everytime a field changed, a reducer action is triggered, invoking a specific action for 1 specific field, and storing/formatting its values,
And they want to it to be able to support dynamic multiple form fields,
Suffice to say, I got the short end of the straw (as usual), and refactoring it using a new library was easier than I thought, overall 250+ lines, over 2 files, with all the required functionality,
I'm curious of the guys who made it in the first place,
Machine learning are for those developers who can't code...
3..2..1.. Triggered developers incoming..3
Fucking gnome and their stupid fucking alerts. Seemed like an okish desktop, but cosing in vim triggers a metric butt ton of alerts which interrupts my super chill beats. So, ok lets disable them. Oh look there's a toggle.. easy enough. NO because those motherfucking alerts, while now silent, still cut off my music for a couple hundred ms every time they're triggered. Fuck you gnome.7
I managed to clean up the React part of my project, and now everything is smooth AF *.*
But boy oh boy did I fuck up big time, any console.log() written under the render section of anywhere was triggered around 4 times! I still have to rebuild everything (I only finished the dashboard so far) but it will be cleaner that I could ever hope2
Finding a bug that wont trigger an error but will deliver incorrect results, but only in certain circumstances and has only come apparent after the site has bern live for 6 months.
You turn in to a detective trying to determine what triggered the wrong result, what the client changed/added/edited in the cms and work from there.
After much investigation it dawns on you, you then find the bit responsible in your shit code and fix it.
Then feel extremely elated at how cool you are, but no-one gives a shit.
Back to work.
That’s why I play bass guitar, do some cool licks on stage and its instant gratification, glad I have that... and devRant community.
maybe I should learn how to code properly as well.1
Am I the only one who's slightly triggered when I ask a question, get no upvote, and when someone answers, he gets 2 or 3 votes and people commenting like "yeah I'd do the same"?
I mean, it's like being the father who'se wife is being congratulated for being pregnant, she wouldn't be if I didn't do my job 😎3
I’m curious, how do you guys explain something technical to non-technical person? Especially stuff with some degree of technical complexity, this is what happened for me
Me: so last week I paired and helped M with her task to build bla bla, and I had to refactor the component to make it work
SM: wait, why the refactor?
Me: because it won’t work otherwise, the previous code doesn’t leave any room for improvements
SM: the code? How so?
Me: it would take greater effort to add the feature with their approach, it’s bad practice and it won’t do us well in the long term
SM: how long until it’s finished?
Me: should be this afternoon, today at the most
SM: eh, ok
The PO doesn’t look happy, the non technical guys always get triggered easily over some words especially “refactor”, probably overused to cover someone’s mistakes (an ex colleague of mine did this all the time)10
Clueless child thinks he got hacked.
So me and my friend were just messing around in class and he says to this other guy that he "hacked him" as a joke. He showed him a CMD shortcut of the file saying "[guys name] OS SYSTEM." He fucking fell for it. He actually thought a cmd renamed shortcut was his OS system and my friend could access it. He tried to grab his computer and delete it. My friend thought he was joking so he opened it and the kid actually screamed. We burst out laughing and make a scene. The teacher got kinda triggered so we stopped haha.9
So was working on an android app with Geo Fenceing capabilities ie. Reminding stuff based on users location... But no matter what it was not getting triggered even though I was standing at the heart of that location!!
Scratched my head for about a week over it and then gave up.
After a month, today I found myself at that same place with GPS turned on and that little shit triggers and 'bing' I get the reminder I was looking for...!!
My reaction >> What the heck was up with you a month ago...?1
we had a lot of date specific background tasks that run. one day one of the major tasks were not doing anything at all. check the builds in jenkins, was being triggered at 8pm as designed , but no output or errors, just success. eventually found out that someone changed the timezone on the remote host executing the job, so the job was infact running in the future where no events existed! needless to say was a simple fix! and mow I use NTP for everything1
F U browser vendors!
Why is it, that we have specifications for HTML, JS, CSS, etc and we have browsers for more, than 10 years now AND THEY STILL CANNOT MAKE SOMETHING CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT EVERY PLATFORM!
An event is not being triggered somewhere? No problemo. An extra event there? Nay, still okay. Inconsistent state for the same operation on different platforms? Cool, simply cool!
But instead of fixing these shitty things, they introduce bullshit on top of this, like a media element requiring a user interaction to be able to play content.4
people familier with android (~~ broadcast reciever) , help me out.
I have two activities , main and second. from main , you can go to second if a broadcast is triggered. (eg if flight mode is on, you can go to second activity). I know how to make a reciever for this and the best case here should be that of a dynamic broadcast reciever.
But In the SecondActivity , i again want to implement a similer check, since anyone can turn the flight Mode on and off from the status bar.So if flight mode is on, certain layouts should be shown else not. again a reciever is required
My problem is : is static reciever a better choice, if yes then how can I interact with the reciever, like it should request changes only if either of the following activities are open and application is running..??
(And I don't know why daddy yankee's shaky shaky video is being played in the back of my head)5
So I'm working on some communications app which bridges the main server/database with some equipment on the field. Now this equipment works in a redundancy pair: two cpus, A and B, both connected via ethernet, one active, the other standby/replicating and no comms on it. One obvious requirement is that when this equipment swaps the active cpus the comms app should switch as well. Fair enough, going with this into testing phase.
This guy, from qa, got some instructions from someone else:
1. Trigger the soft switch from equipment so that cpus got swapped.
2. Remove the ethernet cable from the standby unit.
3. Observe the communications.
And the test goes like: cpu A is active, B is standby. Switch is triggered, B becomes active, A goes into standby. The cable is pulled out from cpu B.
Test result: failed, no comms ever4
I'm calling you out, Asus, fix your absolutely shitty piece of software or I'm never buying a motherboard from you again.
A little explanation: my PC woke up from sleep like this. On another occasion before I could take the screenshot, the CPU was sitting almost idle at 45 degrees C. The CPU fan senses that it has to spin up, but never actually does so.
I've had the opposite thing before - a case fan spinning up not wanting to spin down even if the temps are fine - which is preferable because it only causes a little bit of noise. But this here could potentially cause damage to the CPU if I put some load on it without looking at the temperature. I've partly remedied the issue by writing a batch script that kills and resets the fan control service and is triggered by Task Scheduler on resume from sleep - a thing every average Joe should do, right?
It's a shame for top-notch hardware to have to go together with such crappy piece of software. This is the X99 Sabertooth that cost me 450 EUR originally.16
SharePoint have something called 'event receiver'. An event is triggered when the user inserts a new record in a list. That event must update a column in the same item. After a few minutes it starts to throw conflict errors while trying to update said column. Doesn't happen with every user. Also I wasn't able to reproduce this behavior in the dev environment.
So now I just recursively call the update method, passing an iterator parameter, repeating the same method until it successfully update the record. Or after 6 failures email someone to see what's going on. Just did it today and published at 7PM. Tomorrow gonna be a long day and I know I deserve it.1
What a shitty fucking day...
First my lazy ass teacher told us if we didn't have at least one guy from the other class in our group, the best grade we can receive is a 3 ("C" I guess) like we don't know what's best for us.... Also is that even allowed??
Then I come home triggered as fuck starting my pc. Or not. Windows auto repair (yup windows, I'm sorry)......,........,.....#..../ FUCKYOU
Trying to search for the problem unplugging the hdds. Oh only BIOS? Shouldn't it be booting into my m.2. indeed it should, but that shit just fucking broke...............
(The m2 isn't the world at least 205GB are only like 85€)
My experience with tech support:
Me: Opens chat
Tech: Hello sir, how can we help you?
Me: Did you just assume my gender? *TRIGGERED*
We have a nerf gun in the office here and i'm at the point that whenever i here a click, there is a *duck, hide and roll* part of me triggered. I just saw a guy opening a soda can when i noticed this1
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck off you bloody infamous basterds flattening their fat asses at Microsoft.
I wasted half of my dev day to configure my wcf rest-api to return an enumeration property as string instead of enum index as integer.
There is actually no out-of-the-box attribute option to trigger the unholy built-in json serializer to shit out the currently set enum value as a pile of characters clenched together into a string.
I could vomit of pure happiness.
I know about that StringEnumConverter that can be used in the JsonConvert Attribute.
Problem is, that this shit isn't triggered, no matter what I do, since the package from Newtonsoft isn't used by my wcf service as a standard serializer.
And there is no simple and stable way to replace the standard json serializer.
i get triggered as fuck when i see people do the upper part of this picture and i see that way too often. now that i think about it, in fact, i have never seen anyone do the second part of this image. am i the only one who knows how to delete text much faster?16
I was working with integrating GAMADV-X (python wrapper for google gsuite) with google spreadsheet, which gives limited api calls (around 100 calls) per day.
So I was syncing the users in the spreadsheet and google group users (more than 100 or so).
I used up my daily quota -_-.
Funny thing is I knew when I wrote the code and when I fucking ran it that I will overuse the api call limit.
It slowly triggered to me that I can't work on this project until next day and the first thing that came to my mind
'me dense mother fucker'
Who else gets triggered when their big project does not work at a presentation? Happened to me at one point -_-3
So I tried to fix an app today that we made for a client ...
It's a Cordova project that's basically jus a wrapper for a certain section of the client's website that's displayed inside an iframe inside said app (with a bit of additional CSS and such). It's all working fine.
The problem is, said scrolling effect inside said iframe does not work inside the iOS version of the app (does, however, when the content of the iframe is viewed (by just visiting the URL) inside Safari), instead, the iframe just scrolls back to top.
So after five and a half hours of depression, anger and rage, also some repetetive cursing towards Apple (just like every time something has to do with their awful products), my boss walks in, looks at me and says:
"I'd be fine with it, if I just had to manually scroll instead".
If it wasn't 5pm already (I usually go home at 6), I would've just left the room / gone home or gotten my salad from the fridge to have something to release my anger on.
Seriously though, what the fuck!?
So today at English lessons (i'm not native speaker) we started this "unit" which is about technology. We were having a discussion everything went pretty ok but then the teacher just started having stupid points. It all began with "oh but computer can't be smarter than the people... Because people programm the computer and they have to code all those things " This was the part where i started being triggered and since i'm very introverted i couldn't argue with her. Luckily my classmate told her about machine learning and AI but she didn't quite understand it. So the topic changed a bit and we talked about technology in medicine etc. but then we somehow started talking about chat bots. Somebody said that they are really stupid because they don't even make sense (i bet they were talking about the stupidest chat bot i have ever seen created by someone from my country who just repeats the same 5-6 sentences). She again started to talk "Well you know they can't make sense because the programmers have to write answer for each sentence they can think of (so basically endless if/else if statement) at this point i had to say something BUT she didn't see my hand and just changed the topic. Now I feel bad for her because she will never know the truth. Forever uneducated in this area. :/1
Bitdefender free deleted today my Nodejs files and some npm packages.*uninstalled*.
I m not sure but cmder triggered this.
What antivirus are you using?Are you using one at all?6
I'm really beginning to hate css3 and all the new WebKit style effects. They are literally making loads of sites unusable imo.
Why, every time a page loads, does everything need to slowly animate/transition in. It's sooooooo annoying.
It's nearly as bad when Jquery first made it easy to fade events in.
I'm such a fan nowadays of I fussy websites where the content just displays.6
Has anyone used YouTube iFrame API?
I do ask first here before going on SO.
I am trying to play a YouTube video in sync from 2 different computers.
Luckily YouTube iFrameAPI has an event called `onStateChange` that is fired every time a video is paused, played, stopped etc.
This is the scenario...
1. Host creates a session and sends the link to guest.
2. Guest connects with the host.
3. Host plays/pauses/goes to specific time in the vide the video. The video is synced on guest session.
Now I have to figure out how to sync when Guest does an action. The thing is, every time an event is triggered in Host, it sends the command to Guest. The guest obeys BUT THEN the event `onStateChange` is triggered on guest and sends the command to Host. It is an infinite loop that I cannot seem to figure out if the onStateChange is triggered from API or from User interaction.
What I have tried so far...
1. Global variables. No luck.
2. Disable the event handler when the guest is gets data from host and after it finishes syncing, activate the event handler. But the handler still triggers.
3. Timeframe. (an ugly one) . Checks when the last time that event was triggered. If it was less than 1.5 seconds (or other second), it does not send the commands to host.6
The more I learn, the more easily I get triggered at little things.
Read heapq python documentation to implement a min priority queue
Intuitively wrote heapq.push and heapq.pop in my code
Got to know that it's actually heapq.heappush and heapq.heappop
Facing some down - simultaneously somehow as dev and privately.
The dev part partly triggered by another burning project. Our team deep in shit up to the chin... And this unanswerable question: who is to blame? Everyone is working up their arses, but the result is still some sparkling firework ship wreck, that only held together for the demo to the board. It's not that we are stupid or lazy, yet we push some unmaintainable spaghetti, because this shit just gotta work.
Dunno, somehow this object orientation / pattern ideologies were also kind of depressing to me: partly because they smell like attempt to enlighten the inept by stupid receipts - and of course then deep down there's this nagging question if I'm not one of this inept not knowing the newest fashion template from the catalogue..
Then this Clean Code - Craftsmanship shit is bugging me similarly. Liked Robert C. Martin's book, but now I picked up some "Clean C++" and.. I kinda feel dumbed down if they try to sell the KISS principle to a 36 year-old physicist/engineer. Good for them that all our legacy shit und own fuck ups nourish this whole industry of well-meaning advisers. Argh, just fuck it, you priests, sell your obvious calendar mottos elsewhere, they are are just as useful as telling a griever that "rain follows sunshine". - As if they would not some time use the raw pointer that their coworker gave 'em, to ship shit tomorrow?
@dfox has the "swipe" right to go back to the rant feed always been there? It was the only feature I was missing and I just accidentally triggered it. Anyway. Thanks for the work you guys have done on the app.
*My friend gives me some code and says that there's a problem which he can't figure out*
*He shows it me when I read...*
cout >> "Hello!" >> endl;
Package build fails on Jenkins. I try to investigate locally. Builds fine locally. Managed to convince admin to let me ssh there to debug there in the exactly same environment. Builds there without any issues when triggered manually. I'm missing some little piece of environment from jenkins job or there could be some race somewhere. I really hate those random errors, we really need to get sane build system so I wouldn't need to debug those irreproducible build issues. Aaarrrghh!!!