I'm so bored at work and need some excitement I'm playing Russian roulette on eBay... Making random bids on things I sorta want until I'm the Highest Bigger...

Then hoping I get outbid....

So I got a couple of C.H.I.P. single-board computers a good while back because Raspberry Pi Zero was always out of stock.

I named them pringles, the smooth and synthetic one with a GUI, and ruffles, the sturdier and rugged one with a headless OS.

...They still lack a definitive purpose in life.

Simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability.

I put those words on the wall in giant vinyl letters, and I point to them every time someone asks me "can you add a frontend button which checks this external API and stores the correlation between the amount of rain and the sales numbers of purple buttplugs inside the user profiles?"

People always ask for one more column in a table, one more paragraph under an image — they never ask for replacement or removal of items.

So I force them. Want a feature? Fine, if you point at something of equal or greater complexity to delete.

It has to be made with Java

Like reddit but with only one sub-reddit.

....Oh wait

Password field unique in database.

That moment a office phone rings and all of the devs look at eachother but noone answers because this is not something they expected would happen..

Shit for python 🐍 😂

Made a website for a local choir when i was younger - for FREE (my Mum’s been a member for >30 years).

They INSISTED on playing music on start that can’t be stopped.

Told them that wouldn’t be very wise, people would just immediately leave. They didn’t believe me. Removed it shortly after...

Had my first official job review with the boss today. I should try to swear less but except for that it's going great!

Yay!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you make me debug your spaghetti code,
I will stab you.

In a meeting after I explained that the user passwords will be encrypted before we save them in the database

Them: "Please don't do that, we don't want to change our clients data"

Me: " so we should save the clear text?"

Them: "Yes"

😒

This is fucking annoying with some clients.

Client calls:
Me: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem*
Me: *tells possible solution*
Client: you sound young, could you connect me to a more senior person?
Me: Sure.

Collegue: Hello, how can I help you?
Client: *explains problem again*
Collegue: *gives same solution as me*
Client: Oh uhm but that's the same solution the boy I had on the phone before you told me.
Collegue: Yeah......?
Client: well he sounded so young...
Collegue: Being young does not equal being inexperienced/less knowing about something.

My boss hate TOR, and so does many of my colleagues

Today, I am testing their faith in me

Git is life

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.