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Can I get a ++ from all the lady developers on this app or from anyone who supports women in STEM? Signed, a fellow female engineer
36 -
Guys, guys, guys! Read this if you haven't already..Hilarious ;-)
Source: http://kumo.swcp.com/synth/text/...
15 -
I love how Developers always seem to make the greatest communities, there's no hate. Just the most genuinely nice and helpful people. Thanks guys for being here!!19
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When someone tells you they're a programmer and you ask them what language they use and they say,
English.
2 -
We are pioneers.
We build software, an extremely complex concept that didn't exist just 70 years ago.
We learned to harness its complexity and bend it at our will. Just stop for a minute and think about what happens when you load a URL in your web browser. The whole process.
In all human history, nobody has ever been the protagonist in something so complex as software. Yet we know that all of this wouldn't exist without a community of developers, sharing code and knowledge over the same system that they have created.
_We are dwarves perched on the shoulders of our fellows_
That's why even if nobody understands our work, I still think this is the most beautiful job in the world.14 -
Normal people post selfies on Instagram and get comments like "omg so sexy 😘"
Developers post stuff like this in devRant and get comments like "omg so sexy 😎":
4 -
Please don't put this on your resume and definitely don't list a language at 50% just because you used it once for a project.
We both know you're over exaggerating and all you'll do is waste my time.
13 -
We've got a team of around 20 developers and the most junior of them all is a interesting specimen.
The kind of person who thinks they a 'expert' in anything and everything and is constantly trying to school our senior developers who have 20+ years experience behind them.
The sort of person that spends 15 seconds googling something he has never heard of before, but now that he has skimmed 1 page on Google would classify himself as a 'expert' in said topic.
He comes into my office yesterday and proclaims that it has been decided by himself that he no longer wants to be a developer anymore and wants to do Ops/Infrastructure, then starts rambling on about how he is a Kubernetes expert.
I asked what experience he had with Kubernetes and his response was "I watched a webinar they did last night" to which I asked if he had ever actually used anything to do with Kubernetes in his life.
"No, but I'll watch a few YouTube videos and will then be more than qualified" he says
Followed by him telling me that we'll be moving all of our current Docker Swarm clusters into Kubernetes.
This was news to me (I'm head of infrastructure and operations)
I needed a good giggle, so I asked why we would get rid of our exisiting Docker infrastructure that's got a 100% uptime over the past 2 years and has worked without failure. It's truely been a dream.
He says "Because it's shiny and cool and better"
The nest afternoon he comes to me and says "When I move everything into Kubernetes I am going to convert everything into micro services"
He says that he watched a YouTube video the night before on microservices and has decided that it's what we need to use for a particular project.
(It's a simple php website that gets 100 hits per day)
Hopefully his boss will notice that he is producing no output soon. Don't want to tell the manager that the guy he hired delivers no work and lives in a fantasy land.
"your not touching the infrastructure. Ever"16 -
This is for all the developers out there. Keep learning and keep going!
"No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying."1 -
There are 2 types of people in the world.
- Developers
- Script Kiddies
And I've checked. There is no such thing as "scriptKiddieRant", only devRant
There can be only one!10 -
To all newbie developers,
Before you ask a doubt about an issue to someone else,
Try doing an initial investigation to find the root cause,
Look into the logs,
Find the stack trace,
Google things,
Have breakpoints and try to debug.
You come to me with a weird NullPointerException and ask me why,
Without even looking into the logs once? We ain't God bro.13 -
Had a discussion with a developer about security. His software transfers all user data (password and files) unencrypted, so anyone can grab them with wireshark. I told him that this is a severe issue. He said no its no problem because if you get hacked its your own fault, because you probably used an insecure network. NO ! YOU FUCKING MALADJUSTED SHEEP-MOLESTING OBJECT OF EXECRATION, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ENCRYPT SENSITIVE USERDATA NO MATTER WHAT NETWORK YOU USE. FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY.
Not implementing encryption is one thing but then acting like its no problem is a fucking nother one. Why do people not understand that security of userdata is important???11 -
Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..
Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.
Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡
See the developer!!!
3 -
devRant is just like developers democracy
devRant is an APP "of the DEVELOPERS" , by the DEVELOPERS, and for the DEVELOPERS6 -
Today is my first day at job and they assigned me a project that is so unorganized that not even the developers know what the code does or does not do.3
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"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."
Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.
Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.
If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.
Goddamit!13 -
A quick advice to new developers. Never and I mean NEVER do a "quick edit" or "beautification" extremely close to a deadline. You should not underestimate the power of bugs.3
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Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.
1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.5 -
Microsoft Excel - it created a generation of business analysts who think just because they can write convoluted spaghetti logic in excel that it makes them a programmer.6
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!rant
There are some extremely competent, blind developers where I work. They have a tool that read screen elements out loud to them.
At first it was chocking to see they work with the screen off. It makes total sense though, however this thought never crossed my mind before. Their headphones serve as screen to them, which is pretty cool.10 -
What programming has taught me:
Never trust yourself, never trust your code...
And never believe that when it was working in the past, it would work again...3 -
I created a random website a month ago (a project which took me about 2-3 weeks)... made for developers.
But unfortunately I didn't find anyone interested, just a few users that used it once (ok, I spent nothing for marketing and posted it only on my Twitter and on Product Hunt).
Anyway this is it: https://reviewti.me/
I spent about $4 for the domain, maybe someone will find it useful and it wasn't a waste of time and "money". 😅
Please don't see this as spam, I earn nothing (free website, 0 ads), I created it just for fun and maybe to be a little useful for app developers.
If it isn't for you, just tell me what do you think about it (if you want).
Thanks!
18 -
!rant
New mobile coffee van appears at our office today. When he realises we're developers he knows he has hit the jackpot. 😀3 -
I wanted to share this with you guys, it's a manefesto for developers and it's worth a look.
https://git-tower.com/blog/...
5 -
If I have to give one advice to new developers, it would be - Don't assume that you are smarter than the other person and you know everything about why the other developer has implemented a system in a particular way. Don't assume. Ask your doubts. Clarify the pros and cons of a strategy. Learn from it.
Don't create a bias in your mind about a technology or a way in which things are done.
Having healthy discussions with a fellow developer is the one of the great ways to grow in this field.4 -
Finally, A Place where people understand you, who you are and what you're talking about. You don't have to feel weird when you post those dev rants..haha thanks Dave and Tim for devRant.1
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Dear Web Developers,
I say this on behalf of most of the people(I think) that nobody at any want of life wants something to play automatically on a website. Seriously, I would rather you use my browser to mine cryptocurrencies than use my speakers.23 -
You know what does my fucking head in?
Designers or developers who shit on Twitter bootstrap because of something to do with how it looks.
Bootstrap is a framework. Not a theme.
If I can look at your site and tell, just by looking, that you’ve used bootstrap, then you’re a lazy developer / designer.
A site / app should look like how it was designed by the designer (even if that’s you). It SHOULDN’T look like the default version of the css framework you’ve used.8 -
I arrived back from attendance at my first developer meetup.. There was a serious argument that took place regarding the lack of stickers on one of the presenter's laptop..
Since when did stickers become an indicator of anything at all...4 -
So my boss told be about this game, try it out the next time you have an office party with other developers. It goes like this... You all sit around a table with shots ready to drink at your disposal, each person takes a turn and must simply say a noun, it can be anything. The next person must then Google the noun + '.js' added to the end, if the library exists, that person must drink a shot. Continue until everyone is sufficiently in a vegetated state. Good luck!4
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I can't complain about clients on devRant because I make a REST API and some of my clients use devRant. Oh wait.
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Where I work we develop drivers and command-line software for embedded systems. The contracts we have with our customers tend to be in the £100k-£500k range and are usually completed in 6 - 9 months; our team is made up of 20 developers. You would think that it would be worthwhile investing in the department. But no, instead we have to deal with >10 year old build servers on their last legs; limited numbers of development boards with wires soldered on so that we can keep up with new board revisions; no room for R&D into new products; and to top it all off, not one of the executives has a laptop on par with the placement students in the next department. It's like the company is trying to kill the department, we've seen our staffing dwindle with no new graduate (or higher) positions being made available in the last 3 years while we've lost at least 5 people to other places. I just don't get it!3
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Why developers like yellow ducks only, what's wrong with white duck?
Is that what they call racism??
8 -
My company just got a new developer to work on a legacy PHP app.
My boss was boasting about how this guy has more years of professional experience than me ( I have 9 months of experience and he has been working for 4 years on PHP).
Today was one week since he started and I had him set up a REST API, I had to explain to him what json_encode does and how http requests work.6 -
Followed so many devs on Twitter thinking that I'll see things about coding, but all I get is politics.19
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I don't get it when people (developers) complain that git is hard and unintuitive to use.
Most of these people use some GUI client to do the dirty work. I've found every Git GUI client that I've tried tedious.
Does anyone relate?15 -
Conversing with developers can be frustrating.
Here is a good one from today. 2 people 1 women (let’s call her W) and one man (let’s call him M)
W: “Hey guys! Our team is looking for lots of great developers. Front end, back end, data, dev ops. At above market salaries with a great team! Reach out to me is you want to chat. I would love to hear from you.”
Translation: I have a great offer and want to help others achieve and strive in their careers.
M: “also, guys/less-gendered-alternative plz” proceeds to chastise this women about using the word guys.
Translation: I have no level of social awareness, but I have a need to feel big and important. So I’ll take offence for those who aren’t offended to make me feel better about my lack of fucking personality.
————
I’m not really concerned about opinions about the gender issue. It isn’t about that.
It’s just tiring dealing with these people’s bullshit.
It’s time to grow up folks, stop arguing on the fucking internet.
————
I also once saw a developer chastise 2 women we worked with while we were out for drinks for the exact same thing; using the word guys.
He was so busy “defending” them from themselves that he ended up making them uncomfortable and then they left.
He was saying “don’t exclude women” while fucking excluding the only women there.
What a fucking douche.
5 -
Marketing for Developers done RIGHT!
<!-- Hey Payoneer Its better to hire me... im better in posting ads on fb and more better in writing codes -->
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This happened today
My Manager: How is the progress so far on the search module?
Me(After implementing some crazy shit requirements): It's all set. APIs are working well against the mock in-memory database. I need an actual database to run my unit tests. Where do we have it?
My manager: Let's pretend that there is no database at this moment. Go-ahead with rest of your activities.
Me(IN MY MIND): F*CK you a** hole. You don't know the first thing of software development! Which a** hole promoted you as a manager!!!
Me(TO HIS FACE): Ah.. okay!! As you wish!3 -
I just saw the most astonishing repo that will be 100% useful for developers who don't get paid by clients
I can't stop lmao
https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid2 -
I don't know what's wrong with my job..
-I am an opensource developer
-But my colleagues ask for ITIS issues
-My manager asks to interview 20 people in 2 hrs
- asks to prepare a KT schedule.
-Asks to attend few meetings
- And asks the status of the sprint task everyday
Typical managers 😣1 -
Attention Software Engineers!
Quit shooting yourselves in the fucking foot! And this ESPECIALLY goes to new grads. I get that you have just finished school. I get that you need a job! But don't fucking settle for a $30-$40k salary because you're "entry level"! The only reason why there are employers who offer that type of salary is because they know that there are enough idiots who will settle for it!
On average, an entry level software engineer's salary is between $50-$60k at the very least! For Senior developers, it is at least $80K/year (although an argument can be made for why they shouldn't settle for less than $100k/year).
Each time a moron low balls his/her salary, that brings down the market value for that talent. And keep this in mind! They don't have a choice but to hire you. They could choose to outsource their work to poorer countries but they don't want to do that due to obvious quality-related reasons so they HAVE TO hire you if they need the work done. And since the ball is in YOUR COURT, demand your fair salary. You went to school for 4 fucking years. You dealt with that stress for 4 fucking years. Why settle for a salary that you could've made without going to school?64 -
So I have this 13 year old cousin who's pretty determined to follow my footsteps as a developer someday. He really likes gaming and all internet stuffs. His future plans makes me happy since I may finally have a relative that is a developer. But darn it! He's kinda weird coz he still throws tanrums. One of his major tantrums(which happened again last night) is that he wants the wireless Karaoke machine to be turned off because he thinks that it's slowing down the internet. It was his sister's birthday party and the guests are partying. I've told him many times that the signal for the karaoke is different from that of the router which has nothing to do with the internet slowing down. It must be caused by q device that is updating some apps or whatever. We live in the philippines and our internet provider is quite fast but it has this stupid fair usage policy that caps our bandwidth to a minimum speed if we reach a certain amount of data usage. Since he goes to youtube everyday in 480 and 720p, I explained it to him that it was one of the causes.
Last night, I almost got triggered because I wanted him to believe about the wifi being different to that of the karaoke machine's radio and that it is not connected to the wifi and not using data. I also told him about different kinds of wireless signals which I studied as a Software Engineering student back then and yet he still doesnt believe me. And what almost triggered me is that i saw his steam client updating while watching youtube. I told him that was it. But instead of agreeing, he refused to believe me and just told me that steam is just updating and he's not downloading anything which made me think why he keeps going to youtube, because...he's not downloading. Oh God! Good luck to this kid. 😂5 -
When your daily scrum takes an hour because your senior developer co-worker gives unnecessary and incredibly detailed updates...
"Well, first I tried hiding the button, but it wouldn't come up when I needed it to, so then I made an options menu, but the sliding transition was difficult to implement, so then I..."7 -
Shit Developers say:
Fuck you Jasmine and your camelCase
I’ve been wrestling cucumbers all day
Oh no all the cucumbers are broken
In a fit of refactoring madness I have gone and changed a lot
Did you seriously just give ME nil?... No!
If the shit sticks, then we put nice paint on it
Fucking red dot motherfucker (Ben and his failing specs)
You know what we don’t do often..kill each others builds. Kill them and reschedule for later. Mwahaha ha ha.
This build is going to be so rad...(5mins later)...Ok this is not going to pass..I can feel it in my waters!
Can i do that in a digital way or do i have to move my meaty body downstairs to find him?
All the donkeys have be out the gate by sundown
God, imagine if you could patent mathematical solutions
actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you can in the states "no, you can't use a laplace transform, you haven't got the rights, you have to use a less accurate transform on your matrices"
ooooo a boolean that's phrased in the negative, my favourite for code review destruction!
Fuck the police i'll call the object here
Web RTC - its super easy, all you have to do is..probably some hard stuff
I want to go to that conference so I can start arguments with dickheads about semicolons. Just for fun.
This this is not the same as that this.
Can’t come to work I can’t find any clothes. It’s best for everyone if I just don’t come in. ...2 hours later... Yeah my clothes were just in the other room and i couldn’t be fucked moving
(OH about bad bug reports) - you know when they are all like oh joogly joogly doesn’t doodle doodle and it should wobbly doodle you know? and im all like fuck i don’t know any of that shit you are talking about.
Him: "I don’t like it, it’s against REST convention its so 2006 that my eyes are bleeding. As a privileged white male i feel entitled to complain about this." Me: "you. were. eleven in 2006
Source: Kellective Github6 -
A 12-week coding Bootcamp won't turn you into a full stack web developer.
It's like a diet it takes time, it's not over in a few weeks even if you start intensive and really commit to it.6 -
IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY, GO WATCH THE FUCKING OPENING TO THE WWDC KEYNOTE
https://youtu.be/4uPXhdw0P4A/...
(Link should already auto start in the right spot but if not it starts at 2h 2m in ish)
JUST WATCH THE FIRST 5 MINUETS AND THANK ME LATER8 -
I swear, the next time I hear a web developer say to me: "Yeah let's pretend as if the security hole in the website isn't there, because truth be told, i cannot be bothered to fix it."4
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Copy-Pasting code from the StackOverflow into production code is like chewing gum found on the street. 🙄1
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Never tell normal people (non-developers) how much time it took you to build something.
They will always be like 'I thought that was a 2-day work'3 -
!rant
I'm a developer turning into product designer guys. But I'll never forget my roots, my development origin. What I'm learning is, most of the UX designer are ignorant about development and developers in general and many developers are ignorant about usability. My future aim would be to build a well communication bridge between these two entities and get designer to empathize with developers and vice versa.13 -
Dear Client,
Mentioning "Dear Friend" in email won't make your bug as top priority.
Seriously,
Developer3 -
Another gem from same co-worker who is a "Senior Developer". Unnecessary function that fills a dropdown box(?!) with numbers 1-100. I really really hate this guy.
Bonus: Best Practice Example of Naming Variables...
4 -
This is deployed on PROD(!) from my Senior Dev's app. Have I told you devs how much I hate this guy already?
7 -
Compared to some developers our problems are acute. Compared to some developers our problems are very cute.
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Development world is always changing and evolving... It changes before you know it...
So, having the ability to quickly adapt and learn is a must for any Developer... And, this is the one thing that I am sure that everyone knows about or heard about..
But, my advice is quite simple:
"Don't rush into participating in a race, just because everyone else is doing so.
The trick is not to move quickly.. But, to move one step at a time, at the pace in which you are at your most comfortable...
It might seem counterintuitive and a contradiction to what I have said earlier.. But, I hope that by the end of this rant, you will be able to understand my perspective..
This advice is especially useful for people still finding and searching for their place in our world..
Charles Darwin, very wisely understood the philosophy behind 'Survival of the Fittest'..
By 'fittest', he didn't refer to the ones considered to be the strongest or having the most intelligence, but the ones that had mastered the ability to adapt to changing circumstances..
Adaptability is important, but not at the cost of understanding and learning about the fundamental pillars on which this world stands..
Don't rush because when you run, your visions starts to become more narrow.. In your pursuit to reach your goal, you lose the ability to look at the macro details surrounding your goal..
Learning new technology is important, but that doesn't mean that you don't learn about various approaches or how to design a more logical or efficient solution...
Refactoring the code, developing good Testing procedures, learning to interact with your fellow developers are as crucial as learning about the changing trends...
Even, in this ever-changing world, understand that some things will always remain the same, like the adrenaline that course through your veins when you finally solve a long-standing problem...
Curiosity, Discovery and Exploration are the key pillars and hence, when we rush in, we might stop exploring and lose curiosity to discover new and exciting ways to reach our goal..
Or, we might also end up losing the drive that grips us and motivates to continue moving forward inspite of the challenges standing between us and our destination..
And, believe me, once you lose this quality, you might still succeed but the contentment and the satisfaction that you feel will be lost..
And, then, you will remain a developer only through your designation... And, that in my personal opinion, the worst punishment.1 -
Instagram returns 404 when profile is not found and no user is logged in but returns 200 for the same url when any user is logged in. WTF!
Took me so long to debug this shit2 -
Got a middle software developer position at a great company.... wrote 10 lines of code and spent 90% of the time in calls and meetings.
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If I were the world dictator I would forbid JavaScript in web pages for a month, to teach shitty web developers a lesson.
Is it normal that to submit a form I have to use the developer console!? For fuck sake, I don't give a shit about your fancy scripts that only god knows what they're supposed to do. A simple <form> with an <input type="submit"> would do the job, holy fuck!
I'm so tired of those fucking broken scripts. Don't write JavaScript if you suck at it!4 -
Developers, we ARE the definition of insanity. Doing the same things over and over again, expecting things to change.
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So I am helping coworker with debugging a weather forecast feature on a digital display solution we sell to hundreds of companies.
He says he just doesn't know why but the forecast data isn't correct.
I open up file where forecast data is stored and the data hasn't been updated in 6 months.
Thats when he realizes no one has paid the forecast service provider in 6 months...
And this guy is supposed to be senior to me?1 -
I am turning 16 in 3 months and I want to start freelancing then. I want to earn money and get some experience .
I will still go to school until I have my a levels so I can go to university later.
Do you have any advice for an absolute freelancing beginner? I will probably make websites with HTML and CSS (of course, what the hell else) and react. Nodejs and mongodb for the Backend.
What should I do in these 3 months to prepare myself?
I want to build a portfolio website and learn more about node, especially how to do safe authentication in these 3 months, anything else? Also which websites would you recommend me?26 -
My Favorite Senior Dev: Hmm, I don't understand this error.
Neighboring, Competent SQL Developer Coworker: What does it say?
Senior Dev: It says, "Cannot insert the value NULL into column 'person', table 'PEOPLE'; column does not allow nulls..."
*5 minute silence*5 -
So I and my friend worked on a website for a guy about 6 months ago and he didn't payed us (we had a contract but he is a d##k). Whenever we use to ask for money he'd ask us to do something else or add another stuff on the website (told you d##k). So we decided to leave without taking the money and now he's still using the website that we made.
While working with him he shared his server credentials and they are still the same (we still have access to everything).
Now we were thinking to teach him a lesson, we don't want our money back.
So, devranters what's the evilest idea you can come up with?
So far my friends suggested me:
-mining cryptocurrency
-replacing websites homepage with some abusive content
-delete everything on the server
-revoke his access to server (he would somehow get that)19 -
Just had my first freelance job here i Korea. I was told that most(?) of my job was going to be front-end web dev, and that the 'required' skillset was html/css. I thought I'd be making some free money, and I was wrong. Ended up doing all sorts of things like sql,js,ajax,php, and EVEN design. Apparently "developers" here are people who can do pretty much everything on computers. How many other countries are like this?12
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I feel like we developers (and people who create things in general) are doomed to not have enough time 😥
I have to be honest, I've got a hard time dealing with that -
Was working on a client's project. He had given clear specs. Work went delightful with less or no hacks. Then I get asked to add a extra feature which I had little thought about. Now I think it's a small hack and can be done. But here I am. One hack leading to another. I am too deep into ugly hacks. Maybe I should stop software development and join postal service to sort letters. I feel so incompetent.4
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Developers who don’t use silent switches on their installers have a special place in Hell reserved for them!4
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The mysterious life of developers
CLICHE DEVELOPER - which can be spotted by the conference t-shirt and the pale skin. Main source nutrition black carbonated liquid.
HIPSTER DEVELOPER - this species only drinks warm liquids based on expensive spices and beans, and his only tool is a so called Macintosh.
for many individuals in the herd it's considered prestigious to not utilize the mouse at all.
The herd works towards a common goal, a goal set by the project owner. When the project owner arrives the developers often hide digital image of cats from their screens........
https://youtube.com/watch/...1 -
Hi, what is the average salary of developers in your country.
For me : i'm junior UI/UX designer and front end developer in Paris, working for Parisian digital consulting agency 35hrs a week
Annual salary 30k €
Adding to this :
Daily meal ticket 8,8€
Insurance
50% of transport ticket's price is refunded
And many other stuffs and don't even remember.
Knowing that Paris is an expensive city.
How about you people ?26 -
That job you thought you may not be a good fit, you end up at.
Sometimes as developers we doubt ourselves because we set higher bars for ourselves to learn more and try and build better solutions and share them with everyone.
You are almost as good as you need to be and you are going to be getting better, as long as you keep hitting the road towards your main goal.
But look at it this, isn't it the best of scientific communities?
Everyone is trying to improve and share more and make the ecosystem richer.
And open-source, fucking open-source, if there is a God, then he inspired the moral of open-source...
Anyway, congratulations for being among the best of scientific communities and damn I appreciate'yall!!1 -
Our community on devrant is pretty big and I'm guessing also diverse. I'm trying to find some information about developers in underdeveloped nations - how is your life compared to the rest of the people in your country? Are you happy with your pay? What about startups? Any good startups that stemmed from underdeveloped nations?3
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What do you do for a living? I mean, since we're all in devRant, we are all programmers and developers here. But what do you specialise in and which language do you recommend for use in your field?17
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Tinder for devs: match people based on their coding style. Tabs go with tabs, spaces with spaces and uncommented code goes with legacy code.1
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Why do non developers always think we devs don't have a life outside of work?
We have a life people. We do other things as well4 -
Been working with a developer who can't make a visually competent bootstrap site for his life, and after making entire accurate-to-the-pixel mockups for him to emulate we continue to get half-assed work with consistent excuses... My time is now spent going line-by-line through his project items determining what he has and hasn't actually accomplished from his "completed" list. I'm no longer just a designer, I'm evidently now a joint project manager as well, for no extra pay...5
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My friend is insistent that developers have absolutely no life whatsoever. Anything you want to say? XD25
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Started my first job as an associate software developer. It feels great.
At this moment life is perfect. -
So I work at a startup working on “cutting edge” technology with two other devs. Our lead engineer is an interesting fellow. The guy never ever writes a single line of code, just looks for similar projects online and receives a lot of credit for it, I have to hand it to him though, he has an ability to scheme through information and pick the gist of what’s going on but when it comes to detail, he’s seriously lacking. We recently started a projects a couple of weeks back and it was supposed to be an easy two days of hacking and we would be done but instead the guy looks for code online copies it I change the necessary variables to match the use case then it doesn’t work. So we’ve spent weeks debugging this code because someone is afraid to get their hands dirty. I can’t complain to the bosses because they’re not techies and the trust him more since I’m still new to the company.
I love their attitude though, they honestly believe they have a chance against some giants in tech and from the actual talent I’ve witnessed they’ll only get there through sheer luck.
I have to sit there and listen to them shit on more successful tech companies and that they have better ideas.
Maybe someone can change my mind on this issue as I’m still young and new to this industry.11 -
So, we were in middle of this in-house training session on Typescript, which was being held on Skype as the trainer was in another office in different city, when suddenly a senior fellow (working as associate architect and sitting right across the table from me in training session) asked a <put some nice adjective here> question:
Why should we use TypeScript? Why not jQuery?
There was silence for a few moments from the other end (there was no video of the trainer but I could feel the bewilderment on his face). Then the trainer broke the silence by saying that he didn't understand the question. After multiple attempts, I intervened by politely mentioning thay one is a language while the other is a library.
Here comes the best part
The senior guy replied and was rather adamant that I was wrong and that jQuery was, infect, a language.
I wonder, to this day, how he managed to become architect and who the fuck hired him?1 -
So for those of you keeping track, I've become a bit of a data munger of late, something that is both interesting and somewhat frustrating.
I work with a variety of enterprise data sources. Those of you who have done enterprise work will know what I mean. Forget lovely Web APIs with proper authentication and JSON fed by well-known open source libraries. No, I've got the output from an AS/400 to deal with (For the youngsters amongst you, AS/400 is a 1980s IBM mainframe-ish operating system that oriiganlly ran on 48-bit computers). I've got EDIFACT to deal with (for the youngsters amongst you: EDIFACT is the 1980s precursor to XML. It's all cryptic codes, + delimited fields and ' delimited lines) and I've got legacy databases to massage into newer formats, all for what is laughably called my "data warehouse".
But of course, the one system that actually gives me serious problems is the most modern one. It's web-based, on internal servers. It's got all the late-naughties buzzowrds in web development, such as AJAX and JQuery. And it now has a "Web Service" interface at the request of the bosses, that I have to use.
The programmers of this system have based it on that very well-known database: Intersystems Caché. This is an Object Database, and doesn't have an SQL driver by default, so I'm basically required to use this "Web Service".
Let's put aside the poor security. I basically pass a hard-coded human readable string as password in a password field in the GET parameters. This is a step up from no security, to be fair, though not much.
It's the fact that the thing lies. All the files it spits out start with that fateful string: '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>' and it lies.
It's all UTF-8, which has made some of my parsers choke, when they're expecting latin-1.
But no, the real lie is the fact that IT IS NOT WELL-FORMED XML. Let alone Valid.
THERE IS NO ROOT ELEMENT!
So now, I have to waste my time writing a proxy for this "web service" that rewrites the XML encoding string on these files, and adds a root element, just so I can spit it at an XML parser. This means added infrastructure for my data munging, and more potential bugs introduced or points of failure.
Let's just say that the developers of this system don't really cope with people wanting to integrate with them. It's amazing that they manage to integrate with third parties at all...3 -
I don't understand some job ads. The companies want developers with 3+ years of experience in everything for entry level positions.
Aren't there any entry level positions for entry level developers with less experience?
If this is the norm, how do junior devs get the experience they need to be qualified for these "entry level" positions?
8 -
Developer vs non developer interview:
Non developer:
How well do you know excel ?
Developer:
How would you write spreadsheet app, what if it was cross platforms mobile application but also desktop app ?
Non developer:
Do you know how to use windows?
Developer:
Do you know kubernetes, distributed systems, lambdas, cloud services and how to deploy to server farm ?
Non developer:
You know how to use printer / fax and coffee machine ?
Developer:
Do you have experience in writing code for embedded devices ?
Non developer:
Do you know powerpoint ?
Developer:
How well do you know javascript / html / css, are you comfortable with writing backend node.js code or electron applications ?
React native and native apps maybe ?5 -
What the FUCK is wrong with people!!!??
If you need to use !important in your CSS.... STOP and just don't.
It should be very clear that if the need arises to use !important then you are either really shit at CSS and don't understand the concept or you are a lazy mother fucker.
I'm so fucking sick of dealing with other so called "developers" shit code and have to spend time I don't have fixing their shit.
There is absolutely no reason to use
!important and to anyone that thinks to be a smartarse and let me know of their shit reasons... just don't because there aren't any.5 -
That moment a office phone rings and all of the devs look at eachother but noone answers because this is not something they expected would happen..3
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Why do some developers cut corners and add 20 extra fields just in case the customer wants to add extra data? What happens when the customer needs 21 fields. Just spend slightly more time and implement a custom field system that can extend to any amount of data it's not that difficult and you won't have to add a new field every time a customer needs more then you expected.3
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Anyone think a podcast with no specific topic hosted by programmer that are all experienced in different areas (EG. Game developer, front end developer etc) that just talk about random shit?
Just curious because I love the Triforce podcast and considering that is supposed to be a gaming podcast hosted by fairly different people.
Btw this is just a hypothetical, don't think I'd be able to pull it off!1 -
I just realised why there are new libraries, tools, frameworks every day. We developers tend to get bored with doing something the same way for too long.
So we come up with something new. Is it a square wheel? Sure! Will it make everything harder? Of course! But that's the fun of it. -
Just what the fuck is up with the senior devs in my team? Just because it's my first job as a developer doesn't mean I can't be right at times. Why can't they fucking digest that they could be wrong at times and me trying to tell them what could be improved is just for the product and has nothing to do with their egoistic selves.4
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If you are a developer and you are proud of the work you contribute whilst remaining open minded, I applaud you. If you are a developer and you are overly proud of what you do, and you believe the work you contribute to a software project caries more value than the work another developer contributes, then go fuck yourself.
I am sick and tired of working on teams with people who are self-righteous. What you bring to the table is important, but it isn't the only thing brought to the table, so stop acting like what you brought to the table is the best thing on the fucking table.
What makes it worse is when someone disagrees with your work and you aren't willing to take any of it. You deny their opinion as if yours is vastly superior. YOU need to improve your teamwork skills, YOU need to stop being so arrogant and self-righteous, YOU are the problem.2 -
I don't know if I should call this a rant or not. I spent most of X-mas hacking away my code I haven't touched over a year and released the library to NuGet. Woot!
This has to be the way devs should spent holidays
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I wonder if there are more real developers or fake ones? Maybe even? Too many people stick their nose where they shouldn't be and create too many problems for people who actually work and do something.3
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The best motivational comment
I posted a rant in which I mentioned that "few" developers who don't want other to progress and are present to show off at every platform....
Got a comment, which I want to share...
Thanks to @MrCush
Ya, most of them tend to stalk the stack overflow and Arch Linux communities. On stack overflow they tend to refresh their browser nonstop to see who their next victim is on a new question and then spend an abnormal amount of time searching the site for a similar question and then downvote you and report as a duplicate. “Umm ya, the question you linked is similar to mine. I found that one as well but unfortunately it wasn’t in the same environment with the same conditions that I raised and didn’t help me. Oh btw, he posted that back in 2002 and HEY LOOK, he got reported for a duplicate as well. Seems like you reported him as well.”
The issues of arrogance and being unhelpful on that site are so vast that nobody else that registers can get enough points to be able to be allowed to answer someone else’s question so you never get any new blood.
Arch Linux “elites” like to answer your question with a link that you’ve already been to as they always link the same site. “Dude! There’s a wiki for a fucking reason. Did you read this page?”
Yes I did read that page and it was helpful to a degree but since I’m absolutely new to Arch, a lot of the information on the wiki is a bit too descriptive and over my head. Not to mention every paragraph links you to another wiki page which then links you to another and so on that I have no idea where I left off....
“Dude! If you don’t understand everything on the wiki then you shouldn’t be using Arch Linux man! Gtfo scrub.”
Took me a long time to get comfortable with Arch because of these assholes. You got to start somewhere and doing is the best way to learn.
Reading the wiki on how to install Arch now seems so simple to me because I know what to ignore and what is required but back when I first started it was absolutely confusing.
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Developers are handled like trash..
Why don't developers get house and pay like a MBA guy or executive (considering whole company is based on developers, its a web development company)4 -
I checked out this new hybrid app that was released by some local senior developers.
Turns out that on my user profile, my user ID is set as the value of a hidden field and changing it to any other user ID and saving the form will update the profile of that user. Including changing the password.
The password reset form also allows me to change the user ID to reset that user's password.
Speaking of passwords, the value of the password field on the profile is my actual password in plain text.
Yes, I said this app was released by a couple of "senior developers". One has over 15 years of experience and the other works at an IT company that builds online banking systems. They appear to have outsourced this side project to some other development team but... Come on. At least take one quick look at the source code before releasing it, why don't you?
I don't even...1 -
You know when you are true developer when you have nightmares about non functioning code and bugs without solutions...1
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just read this article (german),
https://trendingtopics.at/wearedeve...
in the interview section, there was the magic sentence
"developers hate recruiters"
it is argued that they do not speak the same language, nor do they have the same background(recruiters are mostly HR or marketing people)
i hate those recruites, who are not even able to write my firstname correctly, when trying to contact me
any other reasons to hate them?3 -
FUCKING TOXIC CLIENTS. They want fucking 10MB allowance for each file that a user can upload. (Images and PDF) I hope their fucking server reached max capacity in no time.
FUCKING WANKERS. AND FUCK THE PREVIOUS DEVELOPERS FOR LEAVING SUCH A SHIT CODEBASE.
Who the fuck puts all the damn logic in a controller?
TOXIC SHIT. I CAN'T EVEN EXPRESS HOW FUCKING PISSED OFF I AM.3 -
What's up with giving away +1's for anything and everything? I thought this was a place for cranky developers. I expected developers over here to be mean and bullies.7
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I was just getting frustrated how hard it can be to search on google for very specific subjects when it comes to development. So I thought, why hasn't anyone made a search engine just for developers so you don't get any bullshit in between.
I found apis.io but they only have 1076 documented apis in their db... lets collectively make this better!6 -
Why developers are not covered in tattoos!?
Because tattoo parlors don't tattoo developer savy stickers, yet! -
I see lots of script kiddies these days that call themselves software developers or hackers. Their shitty code is flooding the world, so write more code you fuckers and let the world burn2
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Just curious:
What is your typing speed?
What is your keyboard layout? (Qwerty, dvorak, colemak, etc.)
What type of keyboard do you use most often?14 -
Why there isn't a special key on the keyboard which includes "; + enter"?
Or in general a keyboard with special keys for developers? 🤔
e.g. open/close brackets with one key, or "/>" as one single key., or ") + {"5 -
Boss explaining a bug found in my senior developer's (yes, that one) application...
Boss: "This shouldn't happen, this presents a security issue since these records should not be visible at this point."
"Senior" Developer: "You're right. Hmm, what should I do about that?"
Me: *face palm*2 -
Fast quitz:
1. Desktops or Laptops?
2. Windows or Linux?
3. Coke or Pepsi?
4. Instant coffee or regular coffee?
5. Light theme or dark theme?
6. Tabs or spaces?
Let's the hell begin! 😈29 -
The feeling you get when your manager is expecting you to climb the Mt Everest and you don't even know how to use a pickax
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I wanted to make a nice app with the developers API from pastebin.com
WHERE IS THE EDIT OPTION?
p.s. even started a petition, Help me out!
https://change.org/p/... -
We were looking at the screen confused as to why the SolR queries that weren't working a day before were suddenly working.
Being the troll I am, I mentioned that maybe the little elves that live in little shoes came around and fixed it.
The other guy looked me dead in the eyes and mentioned "But there was no commit message."
We burst out laughing. -
For the love of god developers/programmers, don’t put version numbers to your softwares file paths!
It’s the worst when you have to configure permissions and rules, then the folder path changes in every update!2 -
Co developer jumps to take the lead on our new project. Already overloaded and claims about her work load
I on the other hand just finished all my projects, guess I'll just sit back and wait.4 -
Hey Game developers,
I'm making a roulette game for a client. He wants that the motion of ball in wheel should look completely random but it should fall into desired number i.e. the outcome of roulette wheel should be predetermined, not random. Any idea how do I do that?6 -
The thing about working in an advertising agency is you'll have to refrain yourself from cringing when you look at the page size.
To designers, who gives a flying fuck whether a page size is 2mb or 10mb? They just want it to look good by dumping in shitload of images.
As for developers on the other end, we try to think for the users that are on their phone surfing a page. We wouldn't want any users surfing a heavy webpage.
Yet, they don't see why we're making a big fuss out of it.2 -
I was just thinking about this.
How old was everyone when they first go into IT? Something along the lines of when you wrote your first program or script, or when you first started a programming course, etc. And what was the reason?
I was 22. First proper start was through an Intro to Information Technology course as part of my current degree. I was working a dead-end, depressing callcentre job. I was thinking what my life was going to be like, so I made a concious decision to start my degree and make something of myself. It's, of course, a bit more detailed but I am more interested in what others have to share.15 -
Developers switched from Windows to Macs because monkey-boy Ballmer claimed to want Developers whilst doing his best to drive us away - and Macs were a Unix laptop "That Just Worked".
Now we are going to have a MacBook "Pro" that doesn't even an Escape-key.
Great news for manufacturers of Windows ultrabooks - Asus and Dell must be rubbing their hands with glee!4 -
Found one of my new favorite things today. Its called DevOps Against Hummanity. https://github.com/bridgetkromhout/...
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How many developers does it take to install a white board...
3, and 1 QA, 1 designer, 1 project manager and 3 attempts...9 -
Removing Windows and using Ubuntu on my personal device helped me to support the other Senior developers in my new company in few simple, notable, appreciated issues. And I can't deny that I regret the years I spent using Windows like any end user.5
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Shit my "Senior" Dev coworker days:
"Well, logically, lies are more important because it takes more effort to remember the lie, who you've told it to, and any extra stuff you made up to keep your story straight. Then, when you have more than one lie, you work even harder to keep them all in line".1 -
Almost anybody. Right there alongside babysitting. All you developers are losers since almost anybody can code and make money.
MoFo normal beings. Don't know what it takes to write good code.
Lots of coffee
Lots of pizza
Lots of knowledge
And ability to say no to every stranger or friend who has an app idea and is willing to pay in shares 😤😤
2 -
"When I try make a change, system XYZ is not happy do you know why?"
Really? That's all you're giving me to go on? -
The most stressful day of month.
I need to put hours into hour counting programs so computer can analyze those hours using deep learning algorithms and pay me a wage I don't deserve.
Each program work differently.
One of it works inside the local company network.
Other one I need to connect outside from company network.
In all of them I can't make mistake or I need to write to someone to fix my mistakes.
One of this programs use java applet, other is simple php website.
One of them blocks row in calendar when I click so when I login again and click I can't edit this row because it's locked by me who is editing this row.
One of them is requesting me to provide my work in minutes.
I need to follow strict procedures to report any holidays or national holidays that I need first figure out when they happen.
Wish me luck.1 -
Android developers will understand my pain.
When you don't ask android studio to auto create those functions in your activity.java code. But studio does it for you anyways.
Then comes Lint, it will give you a warning on the very same code, that studio commented over the default function.
Damn you studio/lint...get over your differences.
Others have a life to live.1 -
Product designer keeps on changing designs and managers approve it every single time. Totally frustrated to work. Why can't they think of scenarios based on design? Why should they allow me work on something guaranteeing that things won't be changed but change every single time.
I know product specs change, but too much of change frustrates the developer. Why does no body care for developer's mindset? -
When you take the 5hrs task and they forgot to add subtask and more subtask will come and it took weeks until now
MORE WILL hahahaha -
Lesson learned from my previous rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/2059047/...
CPU bottleneck spotted. Time to fix some shit.
nvidia-docker vs native code execution brings around 10% performance decrease so far.
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! RANT
Devs find it very convinient to put the blame on users.
Well your users are the one you are making for, if they cant use it, your UX IS SHIT, and you should stop developing and go sit and cry in a corner!!! -
When you're having to add BS/hackey conditionals to your code because the other dev is too damn lazy to fix their code.
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So today I found an HackerSpace in my fucking zone, never thought that this would happen.
Thanks programmers all-over the world for this, I fucking love programmers
P.S: except Swift programmers2 -
Do you guys think that developer market is being over flooded? programming jobs are glamorized and more and more people are getting into the field, what will the market look like in 5 years?2
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Im developer and im have a dummy rent in the jobs on my country, i would like a better remote job, can someone give me some tips to help find it out?2
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As usual, the million-dollar question: whats the best laptop to buy for developers, in the price range up to $1,500?
I'm between a 2015 Macbook Pro, the new Dell Latitude or the Thinkpad T460 😕11 -
Some developers incopetence can be limitless. I found e-shop which uses creative but totally silly way of integrating with e-mails. See my last rant (they send e-mail with my 'From' to themselves). As I sent them delivery report (I have SPF enabled) and wrote them what is wrong, they apologized when I came to pick up the goods and were glad that I forwarded the report (otherwise my order would be quite delayed). But hey, everything is fine, they are working on new e-shop. I said great, hopefully it wouldn't be this messed up. And I was told that yeah, the new one will block .net and .com addresses right away. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? How can somebody use their incompetence as a reason to screw up even more! So next time, I'll probably use my local e-mail with SPF enabled to tech them to blick all e-mails and do stuff properly.
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When your boss says 'GOOD JOB' but in reality you just trade the stock market the whole day. hehe
Any developers slash traders here?5 -
Any WordPress developers here? Which free plugin is best for image compression/optimization?
Need Quick Suggestions!!2 -
Best part of being single on Valentine's Day is bitching about all the couples around you with your other single friends.
Happy val int tines = day;
#SingleDevelopers2 -
Love the way our "senior" dev jumps into a project without reading the docs or even comments for that matter, removes and shifts things around then sits with me for 3 hours wondering why it won't work.
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