"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Truth be told. I'm funnier on the internet, but damn am I weird and socially awkward in real life.

Being a cynical bastard and have people respect you for it.

At least college girls talks to you to get help in their projects.

If you could get rid of one tech company who would it be..

Mine would be apple - fuck apple

Found on Facebook, sums up my students' code perfectly... and mine, too.

Finally I found a webpage related to my bug.

The page is from 2004.

*keeps reading*

"Yes, yes! This is exactly the problem I'm having"

*Carefully reading each comments*

*Looking at scroll bar with stress*

*Almost coming to end, no signs of solution*

At the end the thread creator say: "Ah finally I've fixed the problem. Thanks everyone for helping"

*moment of silence*

WHY U NO SHARE THE GOD DAMN SOLUTION? YOU FUCKING IDIOT

The education system is a fucking joke. How do you get through all the required courses and get to the capstone course where your one goal is to build a simple prototype of a project(like a simple website) for a real world client and not know HTML or CSS when you spent a whole fuckboy semester on a class dedicated to HTML, css, JavaScript and the teacher gave you the PHP. Not only that but you can't even figure out how to use a simple google search to look up the documentation on any of these topics or even the easy to follow tutorials littering the internet on how to use Bootstrap which is what we're fucking using to make it faster to develop the core logic of our app but all you fucking want to do is take shortcuts and create a PowerPoint presentation in google slides and make an easy project look like shit and make me and yourselves look like shit. But don't fucking worry, I'll code the whole thing in a fucking night because you didn't do your part of taking care of just the front end and planned for your incompetence and lack of questions or help. I know you're busy looking for a job for after you graduate but you can't even answer a simple programming question. Let me give you the solution on how to reverse a string, cuz you don't remember c# but it literally takes 30 seconds to google the solution that is everywhere. My project team is why no one takes a degree from this university seriously.

Being the only tech savvy person in class can be the worst. If someone gets hacked they all blame you...

Because if you fail, you will be executed ...

Code as a first year student..

Just for fun, a home made comic.

Was in a university group project and had to make an angular momentum measurement device. An hour before demo voltage on one of the pins was still a bit too high. Friend drove to Chinatown not too far away from campus and bought a pack of the cheapest batteries. Plugged the cheap batteries in, the voltage was just spot on. How awesome was that!

Did this on my first programming exam.

int index = 0
int value = 0
try {
while true {
value += array[index]
index++
}
} catch NullPointerException {
System.out.print("Sum: " + value)
}

The task was to add together all numbers in an array.

I somehow aced the exam, but got called in to teachers office this is not the way to use exceptions.

This is going to be a very long day...
I forgot both headphones and glasses at home, RIP brain

Interviewer: where do you see yourself in near future.
Me: to get a 175+ on my Rant.

"We need you to take control and make these decisions on your own."
...
"Why have you done this without checking with us first?!"

"Specs are out of date at time of writing. Basic premise of how this works: {link}"

and link goes to a 404

When the client writes tickets in riddles...

When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...

You know you're backend when it took you 30 minutes to program the inner workings of the platform... and 4 days to make it look pretty.

Slept for two hours tonight because of my baby girl... I've been staring at the same piece of code for an hour or so.. Had 2 double espressos.. Didn't work.. Ppl talking to me and im like...

BRARRRRRRRRRRRT
tictictictictic
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGNGNHGHFGHFHFHFHFH
"DOOT".

Hosting a PHP/MySQL application for a really wealthy NGO that must have paid thousands of dollars for the app, and everything works fine but no sanitised inputs and direct SQL statement execution. Just waiting for little Bobby Tables so I can charge them a fortune for recovery 😊

Almost.

Once worked for a guy who lectured me in front of the whole office because I didn't continued work at home after I stayed 3h unpaid overtime at the office.
I quit soon after that.

When the loops goes infinite

Thanks for the prezzies boys!!

So I got my internship grades today... The fucking bastards gave me a 16.8 out of 20 when I had to work my ass off on legacy VB6 code, using poorly documented add-ons and barely asked for help. I always tried to figure things out myself and that helped me learn that useless crap. But they rate me that low after all the effort I put into a payless job?

So you mean that not only was I not paid, they were also not thankful for said unpaid job. Fucking waste of half a year.

In full knowledge I'll never get an 100 1+ rant, I've made my own devRant stressball