*Romantic candlelit dinner*

GF: "What are you thinking about, my love?"

Me: "The chocolate custard always seems to behave differently under stress than vanilla. It has a lower base viscosity, but a similar shear thickening. I was wondering whether anyone has ever made a database of all custard brands and flavors together with their viscosities"

My brain: *Oh fuck, that's not what I'm supposed to say during a romantic dinner*

GF: "Do you wanna check whether we can find a cheap second hand viscometer.... wait.... no.... you'd need a rheometer for that, right? Do you think we could build one ourselves?"

Me: *blinks in awe*

Even after 15 years, I'm still just puzzled, she really fucking is my soulmate

:)

When things just click.

But good question. What the hell do you need for that and how do you even know the proper names for stuff like that 😂

@IntrusionCM Well I used to have a pretty elaborate laboratory, so she picked up a lot over the years.

But I just keep being astonished about how much attention she pays to the things I yap on about.

I often find her looking up more information about things I told her about, even though it's not her job or even primary area of interest — just because she wants to talk about it with me.

It's a level of dedication to the relationship I'm not always repaying, at least not enough, and I'm super grateful to her.

@bittersweet maybe... Talk to her about this.

Exactly with these words from your comment.

Sometimes, it's enough to appreciate that someone makes an effort and show awareness as "payment".

I can only imagine or dream to find a partner like that.

It had to be your story. Always a pleasure to read your stories here.

Wholesome rant 😊

I think that in 15 years she stayed not due to what you say, but for who you are (as a dev, jk)

#Jealous

Lol man.

Holy shit. I wish people were like that here in Israel.

Strong XKCD / Laura Veirs / Jeri Ellsworth vibes

In terms of partners I went from mrs. “I’m going to fucking stab you” to mrs. “give me money and marry me” to “wait here while I research your symptoms to make you suffer less”. The fun part is that I managed to develop a whole theory about why relationships never work out (driven by confirmation bias alone) and then why relationships never work out for me, and I ultimately dropped all this shit by now.

I was proven blatantly wrong.

Not on the flavours, but someone did do it on different brands of vanilla

https://sciencedirect.com/science/...

@seraphimsystems
Well why?
Because of science!

how and where the hell did you find her?

@kiki same question to you

@Midnight-shcode

1. Luck
2. Dropping all initial selection criteria. I thought she wasn't my type (And I mean, she was a lesbian dancer with a trained body, and I was a chubby nerd with, well, a penis). Gave it a try, and for some outlandish reason it did work. Not because we immediately fitted together, but because there was willingness on both sides to grow towards each other.

And I don't mean "go chase gay girls that will work just be persistent"... Yeah, no, bad advice.

She's still not into dick... It's just that we discovered that we do fit together, relationship-wise, romantically.

So I think it boils down to "stay open-minded towards all types of relations, and be willing to work on them".

Don't be afraid of a 20 year older lady. You don't have to fuck her, but 50+ singles know to party and drink wine. Don't be afraid of the friendzone, friends are good. Don't be afraid of seemingly dumb girls, weird girls, fat girls, nerd girls, hot girls, whatever.

Your soulmate may come in some unexpected wrapping, don't judge too quickly.

🤷

(But hey, that's all survivorship bias I guess)

@Midnight-shcode

Like, my best friends are:

1. The grandparent coupe I used to do yoga with in the park
2. A Furry non-binary queer fox I hitched a ride from to Antwerp
3. A 45yo single muslim mother of 5 who won me over with baklava during Eid al-Fitr
4. The HR manager at work, who works as a BDSM mistress sex worker on the side.

So, I guess for me trying to aim to win the woke bingo worked pretty well.

@bittersweet
oh, wait, yeah, i always forget the first step: have a life that makes you meet and interact with people.

oh but my problem is not being afraid. it's being bored and irritated by talking to 99% of people.

and basically i have two criteria left:
must not be boring and irritating to talk to.
bust be able and willing to talk with me about things that i'm interested in.

sorry, third one, since it's apparently not a given in romantic relationship: cuddling and sex must be part of the relationship because that's large part of how i express and recieve love and intimacy.

that's all the criteria i have left. and in fact, i never really had any other, it just took a while to figure out.

@Midnight-shcode Yeah I get that, those do not sound like outlandish requirements 🙂

@kiki that kind of fancy shit probably doesn't happen in my country

@bittersweet failed to find anyone in the past 5 years who'd pass #1, anyone in the past 8 years who'd pass #1 and #3, and anyone... hm... ever who'd pass all three.