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Manager: THE SERVER IS DOWN THE SERVER IS DOWN!!!!

Dev: Ok I’ll look into it

*5 mins later

Dev: Wow these are really strange logs, it’s like config values are being changed all over the place while I’m looking at it

Manager: Well I figured while you were looking into it I’d go i to the server settings and change everything I could find in order to try and get the server back up again. Two sets of hands are better than one, Is it up yet???

Dev: …No.

Manager: I THOUGT YOU SAID YOU’D LOOK INTO THIS. I NEED ANSWERS NOW. WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!?!?

Dev: …

Comments
  • 32
    Dev: Please...don't ever, ever, ever touch a computer again...
  • 36
    And this children is a textbook case of justifiable homicide.
  • 10
    The dumbassness is strong in him!
  • 24
    If a device is clearly malfunctioning and the socket is burning, do you stick a fork inside the socket?

    I think you do.
  • 13
    @IntrusionCM well you obviously need to get the marshmallow out :)
  • 20
    I hate it when managers try to "help" by getting involved directly. Most of the time they are just nuisance. Many of my debugging sessions are prolonged by my manager. It goes something like this:

    Manager: hey we got a problem in production. Let's check it together.
    Me: No, just 1 person is enough, also easier to focus.
    Manager: No, let's do it together. 2 is better than 1
    Me: *big sigh because I know he will just be in my way*
    Me thinking to myself: okay, it looks like X is malfunctioning, and X is controlled by Y, so let's check Y, should I add some more debugging logs?
    Manager: Hey man I think the issue is Z
    Me: No, Z is working fine because blah blah. I checked it already. See this, it's expected.
    Manager: oh right, that's true
    At this point I lost my thought and had to start over

    To all managers: if you want to support your dev, please just let them work in their preferred way, provide them enough information, point them to the right person. Get involved only when you're asked.
  • 5
    @Xamenyap Another option could be to pretend you’re pairing and speak your thoughts aloud so they feel less inclined to interject. It’s hard to know when someone’s in the middle of a thought if it’s not verbalized. 😅
  • 2
    @adhdeveloper justifiable genocide. All managers must be purged.
  • 1
    That looked like an extract from the book: phoenix project
  • 2
    @AmyShackles This, if you struggle with nontechnical personnel believing themselves to be knowledgeable, just explain your thought process without skipping over any details, as if you were teaching an intern. They get tired and decide to do something else in a matter of minutes.
  • 4
    "WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!?"
    "You. You are."
  • 2
    High probability cause of the server’s original fail: said “Manager.”
  • 4
    @FuckiOS which is why non technically savvy managers should not have accounts with such access.
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