The next person that says “top priority” gets their fucking tongue cut out

Top Ten. Blocker. Critical!

I don't care what your working on, this is now critical!!

This needs to be done ASAP!!

@boombodies I need you to do this before you do anything else. It's highest priority.

I worked on a project once where a priority level of 1 meant the ticket was the highest priority. Then one day someone invented priority zero. I wish I was kidding.

Whenever I get more than one "critical" priority ticket assigned to me, I ask my manager, PM, scrum master, basically everyone with any authority over me, which one is the most important. If I don't get a clear answer, I keep asking until I get one. No matter how much it delays both tasks.

Yeah, I ask them to order the tasks. I can’t work on both at the same time. You choose which one I do first. I’ll await your decision and then start working on the ordered-first one.

@jonas-w are you sure you're not my last manager
I swear each task he created on jira had "finish ASAP"

@fiftyhz that has zero priority than...

@hjk101 hahaha, I like it

@hjk101 I see what you did there

@fishfork well “as possible” implies to me: “well, next month then is as soon, because well, it simply ain’t possible before that”

@fiftyhz I actually prefer lowest-first priority systems, as long as no one invents priority -1. They force managers/clients to gauge the importance of a task in contrast to all the other things that could come up.

top priority

@NemeXis 👅✂️

@NemeXis *misc sharpening noises*

Least prioriy